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Topic:
The First (OCs/Palpy Pre TPM) - Last Night- Update - 22 Sep (Sorry for the lateness!)
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Kynstar
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
4/12/04 5:24am
Subject:
The First (OCs/Palpy Pre TPM) - Last Night- Update - 22 Sep (Sorry for the lateness!)
- Date Edited:
9/22/05 6:38pm (58 edits total)
Edited By:
Kynstar
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It's my first attempt... might have some editing later on. Here's the first chappy.
Title The First
Author Kynstar
Timeframe Few years prior TPM
Characters OC's and a few main characters
Genre Drama and some action
Summary The first of many things for 2 individuals. An initiate becomes a Padawan of a Knight who has never trained a Learner before. The 2 go on their first mission as well - later on during the story.
Disclaimer The main characters that were in the movies and Star Wars in general belong to George Lucas. The 'other characters' are mine. I receive no monetary profits from this.
2 main character’s descriptions:
Knight Lindoro D’Lockens
Species: Human (Corellian)
Ht: 6’4”
Age: 40
Wt: 220 lbs (slightly muscular)
Eyes: Dark blue
Hair: Black (long w/pony tail)
Facial Hair: Mustache & goatee (neatly trimmed)
Lightsaber color: Dark blue
Tunic coloring: Light brown shirt & dark brown leggins
Boots: Black and knee high
Robe: Dark brown
Padawan Learner Menaria Darce
Species: Human (Alderaanian)
Age: 12
Ht: 5’
Wt: 120 lbs
Eyes: Emerald green
Hair: Red (shoulder length w/Padawan braid)
Lightsaber color: Dark green
Tunic coloring: white shirt w/beige leggins
Boots: Dark brown
Robe: Brown
Excitement was evident upon the face of the newly made Padawan.
I’m not going to have to leave! I’m a…a…I’m a Padawan Learner! Her green eyes shimmered with the tears of joy she longed to shout but did not.
I must keep my bearing…yes…Jedi calm. Though hard to do and as well as hard to keep from fidgeting, the young girl kept still. Face flushed slightly, she smiled and nodded her thanks to those who congratulated herself and her Master.
Master! I have a Master! Her smile widen at the thought. Her mind a whirl as the memory of when Knight Lindoro D’Lockens asked the most important question a Knight could ask of an initiate.
I never knew he was even interested…
Flashback from yesterday
The day was proving to be one of her roughest ever. Test after test was being administered in each subject being studied. At the end of each year, all initiates were tested on how much they had learned throughout the year.
Uggg! I’m gonna fall asleep against this wall!!! Menaria thought as she was leaning against the wall, fighting off a yawn and waiting her turn at being tested. Arms crossed, she watched one of her fellow students sparring against the kata instructor. Master Lenart was working the student hard.
He isn’t holding back at all…not good for Seriu. She thought as she saw the boy stumble slightly after executing a near perfect flip over the Master. The boy’s gruff ‘hmf’ could be heard as he recovered and pressed forward, striking low on the bulky instructor. Master Lenart might not be very tall, but the man made it up in his broad shoulders and chest. The Master wasn’t even sweating at all. His long blond hair had been pulled back into a ponytail for the testing of the students. The hair extended well pass his shoulders and nearly even with his belt. Seriu’s short-cropped hair was drenched in sweat. If one had not known the boy, they would have assumed his hair was black instead of dark brown. The sweat had caused it to darken. The boy’s clothing was beginning to stick to his body due to the exertion of his work out.
At last the boy stumbled again and Master Lenart disarmed him. Seriu leaned over, trying to recover his breath as the Master used the Force to retrieve the boy’s saber.
"Well done, Seriu. But you once again did not allow the Force to guide you. You must work on your focusing, young one. When a Jedi tires, the Jedi must focus even more upon the Force. The Force can re-energize you for a while. Go shower, once you are through you are released for the day like the other students were." Master Lenart smiled down at the boy while giving him back the saber. Seriu nodded his thanks and grasped the saber.
"I will try harder and practice more on my focusing." He bowed and passed Menaria. "Good luck." He whispered to her.
Being the last student to be tested, she nearly gulped.
Well here goes nothing… She glanced upward into the stands that were along the side of the training room. She spotted several Jedi sitting there.
Lovely…just lovely. Definitely not what I need. She gulped again as she took her position in front of Master Lenart. Bowing respectively, Menaria took her saber from her belt and grasped it tightly.
"We will work with several of the Form Levels and also on a few of the defensive katas." The instructor said as he drew from the Force. Menaria could feel the swirling of energies around the man and also in the room. She, as well, began to draw upon the Force. Attempting to find her center of calm.
I will not loose my focus…I will not… She repeated in her head as she slowed her breathing in order to lower her escalating heart rate. A few hairs from her bangs had drifted over her eyes; blowing upward they flipped back to the side.
I can do this…will not focus on those watching only on Master Lenart and the Force. Then it started. Master Lenart launched several quick attacks coming at the initiate from the left, then right, and the right once more. Aiming for the girl’s sides then he quickly changed his swings and went lower toward her legs. Menaria had to move quickly to avoid the swings. She easily deflected the man’s swings and then launched several of her own. Her breath had become erratic, but she focused her thoughts and eased her breathing to reflect each swing and thrust. Her footwork was a blur as she sped across the floor attacking and defending when necessary.
Time came to a stand still as her thoughts and actions became attune to the flow of the Force. She allowed her senses to alleviate to a higher standard than she had ever done. Her sight cleared and become brighter as she began to notice things she had never took notice in before. She could see just about every thread upon Master Lenart’s blue tunic. She saw the scar upon the man’s jaw shine slightly from the light of the room when he twirled to avoid a direct thrust from her saber. Her sense of smell had heightened as well. The scent of sweat filled her nostrils that came from the previous students that had been tested. Also a sweet musky scent was noticeable that came from the air refresher that circulated throughout the room. Her heighten hearing was picking up on some of the murmurings from the Jedi that were in the stands watching the test. She did not pay attention to what was being said, her whole focus being directed at the man in front of her.
Menaria flipped over Lenart as the man nearly dove at her with a direct thrust for her chest. Landing lightly upon the balls of her feet, she swung up her saber to deflect yet another thrust that came at her from the right. Lenart was starting to use Form IV style that dealt with acrobatics.
Ack! I hate that form… it’s hard to contend with… defense only until I can catch my footing again. She thought as she struggled to keep her guard up as the man twirled and somersaulted several times trying to distract her. The man’s ponytail whipped about as he executed yet another twirl and nearly scored a hit upon the initiate’s arm.
Blast it! That was too close! She slipped slightly as her focus dropped at the spur of anger. Focus! Must focus! She berated herself as she regained her breathing and her calm. The Force swirled around her as she continued to fight defensively. At this rate I’m going to tire myself out like Seriu…need to do something quick. She struggled through a couple of more swings and thrusts from the instructor. Taking a deep breath and drawing upon the Force, she launched her own attack.
This will definitely tire me out…but I need to end this soon either in defeat or winning. Yeah right… me win? As if… She came at Lenart’s left several times as she thrust and slashed at his leg, arm, then chest. Sliding her feet as she swung, she twirled as a warning from the Force informed her of Lenart’s attempt to come back with a thrust of his own. Feeling her fatigue slip away and being replaced with a calm and warming sensation, she nearly stumbled at the revelation.
I’ve done it! I did what Lenart told Seriu about!!! Her heart sung with joy as she delved deeper into the sensation. Feeling a new burst of adrenaline course through her veins, she launched a more faster and strategic attack.
Left, right, left, left, and thrust… ack! Twirl left! He’s sliding right!
In the stands
"She’s doing remarkably well. Definitely showing improvement from last year’s testing." The tallest of the Jedi present commented. Rubbing his goatee thoughtfully.
"Yes, a pity her time is almost up. I’m surprised she has not been chosen. I figured she would have by now." A Mon Calamari, sitting next to the dark haired man, mumbled as he shook his head sadly.
"Well, believe it or not, I’ve been monitoring her and been considering choosing her. I’ve never had a Padawan before. With my missions these last 10 years…they have been too deadly to even consider taken on a Learner." The taller Jedi remarked. "But now…I have some down time and the Council is wanting me to brush up on my mediation techniques. So I’ll have a few years of not so strenuous missions, so to speak." His dark blue eyes twinkled with mirth as he glanced as his aquatic friend.
"Lindoro, you mean they are going to allow you to actually be a representative instead of a spy?" The Calamari’s silver eyes matched the twinkling of the human’s.
Lindoro placed his left hand over his heart with a mocking gasp. "Me? Delak, me a spy? Come now! Have you been at my stash of ale again?" The man’s chuckle rumbled in his chest. "I’m not a spy but an investigator!" The two Jedi chuckled together. A ‘shhhing’ sound was heard from two other Jedi that were several seats below the chuckling duo.
"Now look what you’ve gone and done, Lindoro. Master Windu just got on to us!" The Mon Calamari rasped as he motioned his webbed fingers at the bald headed Councilor. Lindoro snorted quietly as he returned his focus upon the testing on the floor below. Without even concentrating, the man could feel the swirling of the Force between the two; one with full control while the other struggling with maintaining control.
Training floor
Menaria was totally oblivious of the discussions that were being held in the stands. Her focus was beginning to wan as fatigue started to set back into her body. Her muscles were starting to burn slightly due to the exertion of use.
Can’t hold out much longer… As if her body had realized the same thing, she stumbled which allowed Lenart an opening. The man easily disarmed the girl and twirled slightly to the side in order to avoid the flying saber. It landed a few feet away and abruptly turned off upon hitting the ground.
Menaria fell to her knees gasping for air.
Ohhhh man…I don’t think I’ll be able to get up… Her head held down causing her now wet hair to flop into her face. Unconsciously she weakly pushed the strands aside. Noticing her hands trembling, she quickly wiped the sweat from her face and placed her hands upon her thighs.
Great…just great. I over did it. Must catch my breath and refocus… She began to slow her breathing down by taking deeper breaths as her heart slowly responded. Her blood running hot and the constant ‘thump, thump, thump’ of her heartbeat in her ears, were nearly drowning out what Master Lenart was saying.
"Great work, Menaria. You have definitely improved this year. And to let you know, you are now at the top of the list." That drew the girl’s attention. Lifting her head up, she eyed the Master. The man’s brown eyes shone with pride.
He’s serious! I can’t believe it! Top? Why last year I was at the bottom… She couldn’t help but smile in return.
Lenart drew upon the Force to retrieve Menaria’s saber and handed it to her. "Shower up and return here. I’ll do up the paper work so you can have a copy." He said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.
He sweated! I actually caused him to sweat! A silly look crossed her face as she quickly got up and bowed to Lenart.
"Thank you, Master Lenart, I’ll be right back!" She took her saber and ran from the training room. Lenart chuckled as he watched the fleeing girl.
In the stands
"Well she outlasted them all." He checked his chrono. "Yep, lasted nearly an hour. Amazing…" Lindoro’s face reflected the awe that he felt.
"Are you serious about taking her?" Delak’s voice had taken on a solemn note as he eyed his companion. Having trained one Padawan so far himself, the Mon Calamari knew that taking on a learner was not an easy task.
Lindoro watched the girl bow and leave the training room.
"Yeah…yes I am." The man’s serene face expressed deep thought. Closing his eyes momentarily, he felt the all-familiar tug coming from the Force. "I think I’ll mention it to Councilor Windu since he’s here. I’m going to ask her today. Yeah…" Without even looking at Delak, he got up from the stand and walked down to where the dark skinned Councilor was sitting.
"Master Windu, might I have a moment of your time?" Lindoro asked as he came to stand next to the councilor. Master Windu glanced up at the tall Jedi and nodded. Looking back at his companion, who was also another member of the council, Master Gallia. She smiled up at Lindoro, who in turn bowed slightly.
"Go ahead Master Windu, I’ve got a few things I have to do before evening meal. Good seeing you again Knight D’Lockens. And welcome back." She smiled once more as she took her leave of the two. She nodded a greeting to Delak as he came to stand a few feet from to his friend.
"Yes, Knight D’Lockens, can I help you?" The councilor’s voice was neutral as he stood and faced the taller Knight.
"I am planning on asking Initiate Darce to be my Padawan."
There I said it…Force! Why was it so hard? The man thought as relief coursed through him, but kept his serene outlook.
Master Windu did not however, and allowed his eyebrows to rise.
"You are going to request the Council of this?" He smiled, something that was uncommon of the councilor. At the taller Knight’s nod, Windu nodded in return. "Then I will set a time for you in the morning. And let me be the first to congratulate you on this matter." He offered his hand.
Lindoro sighed internally as he took the man’s hand.
"Thank you, Master Windu. I will ensure that the two of us are there on time." The councilor nodded again and then left the stands heading across the floor. The dark skinned man waved at Lenart as he passed the instructor while walking out of the room.
Lindoro sighed once more, but this time audibly.
"Well that went better than I thought it would." He mumbled under his breath.
"Well what did you expect him to say? No?" Delak chuckled as he patted his taller companion on the back. "Well I’m going to evening meal. I guess I’ll leave you so you can ask her. Good luck." The Mon Calamari left as he continued to chuckle. Lindoro was not known for doing speeches of any kind.
It is well that the council is going to refresh him on negotiations. His diplomacy never was that great. During our classes together as initiates I had to help him. Good luck my friend. The Mon Calamari glanced over his shoulder one last time at his friend before walking out through the doors.
Master Lenart walked over to Lindoro.
"Well, what do you think of the Welan Clan so far? I must admit that they are doing great. Only a couple left to be chosen." The blond Jedi asked as he put back on his robe and took the tie out of his hair. The long, blond hair flowed across his shoulders and back as he shook his head slightly.
Lindoro nodded, still thinking on how to ask the girl.
"I think they are doing great. Especially the last one." Rubbing his goatee on his chin thoughtfully. "I’m going to ask her to be my Padawan." He looked at Lenart, attempting to judge the man’s reactions. The man’s dark brown eyes sparkled.
"I am glad that you have taken interest in her. I was hoping someone would. A great talent would have been wasted if she were to leave. I take it then congrats are in order?" He offered his hand, which Lindoro took and shook it. "She’ll be back in about 15 minutes. We have paperwork to sign together. She made it to the top of the list this year." The man beamed as he excused himself to start the paperwork. Taking a seat, Lindoro awaited the girl’s return.
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Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police
Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist.
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Opal
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Nov '03
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Date Posted:
4/12/04 10:02am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Cool, I think I get first reply. I know that you read a lot of the same stories that I do, so I just had to check yours out.
I'm really impressed. I've always found OC's very tough to write, because one really has to flesh them out to make them work. You made it look easy. I'll keep an eye out for this one.
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Kynstar
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Mar '04
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Date Posted:
4/12/04 11:24am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Thanks! Yeah, OCs are kind'a tricky, it's the main reason why I thought I'd try this one out.  I should have another post soon. I've got the next two kind'a done, juz trying to stay ahead so I don't get caught in a lag! Thanks again!
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Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist.
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Opal
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Nov '03
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Date Posted:
4/12/04 6:45pm
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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You're braver than most to go with OC's on your first fic. I look forward to that second post.
I still love that icon. It's gotta be the long hair.
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Xeana
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Nov '03
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Date Posted:
4/12/04 7:23pm
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Yeah, it's up!
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I have a 'Sirius' case of denial. 
Xanatos didn't die! JA book 8 was an April Fools joke!
Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Phoenix! He came back!
Why do all the best characters die?
At least Frodo lives in the gray havens.
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Kynstar
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Mar '04
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 5:43am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Opal - Yeah *snrk* Prob the hair! It does it to me too!  *grumbles* still upset about GL having Obi with short hair in Ep III... oh well! I'll post the next one here in a bit. I think it's a little short, but I got the 3rd one ready too. Juz working on the 4th. I got the outline juz gotta add the input. 
Xeana - Thanks!
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Kynstar
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 7:39am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
- Date Edited:
4/14/04 11:00am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Kynstar
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Well here's the next installment. Kind'a short, but had to cut it off due to the next one entails the ritual. Thanks for reading!!
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While allowing the heat from the water to beat down on her weary shoulders, Menaria’s smile faded.
I’m at the top, but how is that gonna help me if I’m not chosen? I only have a few months left until I’m 13. She lowered her head as the water streamed across her back and onto her hair. Her tears mixed with the water. Sighing heavily she reached and turned the water off.
Drying off quickly, she forced the negative thoughts from her mind, as she hurriedly got dressed.
I must not think on that. Live the moment and enjoy what time I have left.
She nearly sobbed as the thoughts of never seeing her friends ever again passed through her jumbled thoughts.
Stop! Get a grip on yourself! You’re a Jedi for Force sake!
Clenching her jaw she rushed back to the training room.
As she walked back into the room, she saw Master Lenart conversing with a tall knight. It appeared to be one of the Jedi that had been observing the tests. She came to a halt a few feet away and waited patiently for the two to get done. But to her surprise the two immediately stopped talking at her approach and turned to her.
"Initiate Darce, this is Knight Lindoro D’Lockens. He wishes to talk with you for a few moments. I’ll get the paperwork in order, and once you two are done then you can sign the form."
Lenart’s warmth and pride radiated through Menaria and shattered the gloominess that had fallen upon her heart. She nodded and smiled back at the instructor. Lenart walked away to a desk that was at the end of the stands.
Menaria turned her attention to the tall knight and bowed respectively.
Tall isn’t the right word. She thought as she looked up and up to meet the man’s eyes. Deep blue they were, darker than cobalt. His serene expression was laced with…uncertainty? Menaria furrowed her eyebrows slightly before she could stop herself.
What’s he uneasy about? Is something wrong? I don’t remember ever meeting this knight before today…
"Would you sit with me?"
The man’s baritone voice seemed to reverberate through her thoughts jarring her back to him.
"Yes if you wish, Knight D’Lockens." She lowered her head slightly in submission. The man smiled and motioned toward the stands. Menaria followed and sat next to him. He seemed to fidget with the edge of his dark robe. Glancing at his long, thick fingers, she noticed how callused and worn they were. Several scars lined both hands in numerous places and a few that looked like they might continue up the arms that were hidden by the robe’s sleeves.
He’s seen many battles I bet. She thought to herself as she looked back up to the man’s face.
The black mustache quivered slightly as he prepared to say something then stopped. His right hand left the robe and caressed his goatee nervously.
"This is not an easy thing for me, Initiate Darce. I…" He sighed as he gave up on maintaining his calm outlook. He gathered her small hands into his larger ones.
Menaria’s heart stopped and her breath caught in her throat the moment he grasped her hands.
What the..? Had one of her friends been seriously hurt…or died? Fear sped through her being as her thoughts went out for her dear friend, Malen. He had just become a Padawan a few months ago and left for his first mission last week. They had yet to return. Malen had been so excited.
"What I’m trying to say is…I’ve been watching you for several months now. Monitoring your progress. Master Lenart is correct on stating your improvements. You have improved your skills in not just with the blade, but also with the Force. That is the most important thing to learn is controlling your emotions and allowing the Force to guide you in all things. I am totally impressed and astounded by your progress, young one." He smiled warmly down at her. Even though he was sitting next to her, his height towered over her.
She nearly gapped in shock but stopped herself. This was not what she had expected to hear. Relief flooded her senses.
Impressed with me? She sighed, glad to know that none of her friends had been hurt. The large Jedi took the sigh in stride as he gently squeezed her hands.
"I’ve never trained an initiate before…I must admit that my past duties have not allowed me the chance too." He took a deep breath as he looked into the green eyes of the girl. Swallowing nearly audibly he braced himself for the next words. "I would be honored if you, Initiate Menaria Darce, would become my Padawan Learner. We could learn together what it is like to be Master and Apprentice."
There! I said it! Lindoro let out the breath that he had been holding as he watched the mixed emotions flitter across the girl’s face. The green eyes darken with shock and turned lighter with excitement. Her already pale complexion seemed to redden slightly as the excitement flowed through her. He could sense her happiness in the Force.
Padawan?! He wants to be my Master? Eyes widen with shock. Dumbfounded, her mouth opened to a ‘o’ shape as she tried to find her voice. This time it was her turn to swallow audibly. Looking into the man’s eyes that seemed to darken to a shade of midnight and began to twinkle as he observed her response to his words.
Speak fool! He’s waiting! She berated herself as she attempted to speak once more. Her voice croaked slightly at first as she slowly reclaimed control of herself.
"I…I would be honored to become your Padawan Learner, Knight…I mean Master D’Lockens." She stammered as her eyes took on the glimmer of her bubbling joy. Her smile spread across her face nearly reaching from ear to ear.
I’m going to be a Padawan! I don’t have to leave the temple now! Her excitement could hardly be controlled. She wanted to leap up and shout it out through the temple.
Now I wonder how many rules I would be breaking if I go and do that? She giggled at that thought. Blushing bright red at allowing the giggle to escape her mouth, she glanced back at her new Master. His deep chuckles seem to vibrate through her.
"We will make it public in the morning. Master Windu is setting up a time for us to meet with the Council and perform the ceremony. Will you meet me there? I will relay the time to your clan leader. Will that work for you?" He stood as he finished and released the girl’s hands, nearly forgetting that he had still had a hold on them.
Standing up as well she nodded, she then caught herself.
"Yes sir, Master." She smiled at calling him Master. He smiled in return and gently squeezed her shoulder in assurance.
"This is a new situation for the both of us. And definitely a first for us as well. Something in common to start our new bond with." He bid her good evening as she bowed respectively in turn.
Master Lenart was the first person to congratulate her on becoming a Padawan. He wished her luck and success as she signed the form stating her achievement at the lightsaber testing.
The night could not pass quick enough for Menaria. The time after Knight D’Lockens had asked her to be his Padawan was a blur. She barely remembered getting the paperwork from Master Lenart and heading toward the initiate quarters' level. Barely remembering her 3 other clan members congratulating her on making the saber’s top list. It wasn’t until Seriu had gently taken her by the arm, did she realize that her friends were trying to talk to her.
"What’s up with you? I know that you are excited about going from the bottom of the list to the top. Who wouldn’t be? But something else is wrong…" The 12-year-old boy asked as he looked down at her. Concern flitting across his olive colored face.
Menaria couldn’t hold back her smile as she looked up into his black eyes. She then glanced at her other 2 friends. Nania was another human while Kork was a Squib. Kork’s blue fur rippled slightly as his worry reflected through the twitching of his long ears.
"I’ve been asked by Knight D’Lockens to become his Padawan!" She exclaimed as the giddiness threatened to take over once more. The three others let out a ‘woo-hoo’ and patted her on the back and exchanged hugs.
"That is great!" Kork’s deep growl was filled with excitement.
"It’s about time! Perhaps we’ll be next for sure!" Nania agreed. Her pale blue eyes sparkled as she ran her hand through her short-cropped blond hair. Seriu’s grin was wide as he nodded.
"Yep, I’m sure we’ll be next once word gets around. Let’s all go to evening meal together and celebrate over muja juice!" He chuckled. The other 3 had waited for Menaria to return so they could all celebrate the end of the testing for this year. Menaria’s laughter joined her crèche mates as the 4 headed down for evening meal.
Lateness of the hour crept up on the 4 as they talked about possible adventures. Menaria, covering a yawn, bid her 3 friends good night when she was reminded by Master Piers, their clan leader, of the important meeting in the morning. It was to be at 0800.
As she made it into bed, her mind began to fill with excitement of what lied in store for her after the ceremony.
Everything will be different after tonight… Those where her last thoughts as she slipped into a deep sleep from the exhaustion resulting from the mental and physical testing of the day finally took their toll at last.
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jeday
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Jan '04
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 9:19am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Woww, Kynstar didn't know your are a author, and such a good one! I like how you describe the mixed feelings between uncertainty and excitement in Menaria an D'Lockens. I'm loking forward to the next post!
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Kynstar
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Mar '04
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 10:34am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Thanks yep yep me first attempt at sci-fi and SW for that matter! It'll be up in a few days. I gotta make sure I get the 4th one done prior to posting my 3rd chap otherwise there will be a lag and I don't wanna lag to much!
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jacen200015
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Jan '02
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 1:09pm
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Awesome work. Your doing a great job.
hmmm. spy/investigator. Regardless i'm sure she's in for lots of action.
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If I review then PM me when you update. thanks so much. Send me your completed 'the saga' stories! Attack Of The Sith is here! Obi-Wan's Journal Updated 8/01 Don't quote me the odds. I shall do as I must. Do or do not, there is no try.
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Opal
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 2:00pm
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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I agree. Great work. I thought your second post was even better than your first. You seem to have put a good deal of thought into setting up your main characters. It will be interesting to see where you take them.
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tangled_sphere
Registered:
Dec '03
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Date Posted:
4/13/04 9:28pm
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Great characters! I was sweating with Menaria as she was dueling with Lanart.
I was so happy for her when D'Lockens asks her to be his padawan. That was such a sweet moment
Looking forward to seeing more of Menaria!
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Paddy sis to Kyn  By Your Side (Obi-Wan, Xan, Granta) http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/24157129/p1/?14 Shattered Mind (time travel ESB,JA)
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Kynstar
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
4/14/04 5:21am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Thanks you three! Yep they're gonna go far if I can work it out for them
Jacen - Glad ya liking it!
T_S - I tried to be as feeling and descriptive as possible! Glad it worked! Thanks for reading!
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Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police
Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist.
See stories/viggies in bio
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Kynstar
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
4/14/04 11:10am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Once again thanks for your comments! Thanks for being my beta Xeana! I have one more to post after this one before a small lag might start...but I'm hoping to be able to get another section done so there won't be a lag. Gonna try to post twice a week from now on. Hopefully that'll be ok, though with our base fixing to have major exercises & inspections going on it might be reduced to once a week. But I'll see if I can sweet talk my boss in allowing me a few mins online at work
THANKS again for your enthusiasm!! Here's the awaited Ritual!! Hope you like it... ain't never seen anything for the Master/Padawan bonding so I kind'a grabbed out of the blue for this one!
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This is it…can I go through with this? Menaria thought as she stood in front of the Council’s door. Knight D’Lockens stood behind her fidgeting with the edges of his robe’s sleeves.
He’s nervous? Well I guess he would be…this is an important step for the two of us. It is nice to know that even Knights get ancy. She grin slightly at that. Fingering her belt she tried to find her center to calm her anxiety.
Is she as nervous as I am? I’ve never had this problem before when meeting with the Councilors, even in my Padawan days. What’s gotten into me? I’m as jittery as all get out… Lindoro pondered as he stopped messing with his sleeves. He put his hands into the sleeves and grasped his arms. Unconsciously he edged one of the ends of his mustaches inside his mouth and began to chew on it.
After what seemed like an eternity but in actuality 10 minutes, the door finally opened. Lindoro immediately dropped the mustache and withdrew his hands from within his robe. Placing a comforting hand upon Menaria’s shoulder, he gently nudged her forward.
At the gentle push from the Knight, Menaria walked in and nearly jumped at the sound of the closing door. It seemed to echo in the quiet, circular room. Being the girl’s first time in the presence of all the Councilors at once, she felt lightheaded. Lindoro’s warm hand kept her from passing out.
The Councilors all looked upon the two standing before them. Lindoro bowed and Menaria joined a half-second later as she followed his lead.
Master Windu nodded at Lindoro and waved his hand slightly giving him the OK to start.
"Masters, I come before you asking permission to take on a Padawan Learner." Lindoro stated.
Several of the Councilors nodded. The oldest present, Master Yoda, smiled. His long ears lifted somewhat, expressing his happiness. This was not lost upon Lindoro.
He has always been partial to the young ones. He thought as he stopped himself at the last second from smiling. His previous nervousness vanished at the little Master’s expression.
"I have asked Initiate Menaria Darce to become my Padawan Learner and she has accepted." Lindoro placed his other hand upon her right shoulder, now both hands held her gently to emphasize his claim.
Master Yoda eyed Menaria. "Accept Knight D’Lockens as your Master, do you?" His voice was gentle and calm, reflecting the Master’s demure.
Menaria started to nod, but stopped. "Yes, Master Yoda. I do." She focused upon the elder Jedi as she attempted to keep the butterflies in her stomach from escaping.
Well, they feel like what butterflies might anyways…
"Then proceed with the ritual." Master Windu commanded as he waved Lindoro to continue. The dark skinned Master sat up taller in his seat as he observed the 2 in the center of the room.
Lindoro cleared his throat as quietly as possible and gently turned Menaria around to face him. He could feel her excitement and slight anxiety mixed in through the Force.
"Master and Padawan is a bond that has existed for centuries. It is a special ritual that can not and never has been taken lightly. They are two that become one. One of trust and of honor. The duties of a Master are a long and continual task that deals with instruction of the Code and guidance of the Force. The Master and Padawan are an extension of each other as the blade is considered an extension of one’s arm." Lindoro paused for a moment as he looked deeply into the girl’s emerald eyes. The Force seemed to sing to him as the next words left his mouth.
"I swear by the Code to uphold the duties of Master. To protect you, instruct you of the Code, and to guide you in your learning of the Force. My time, my life, my all will be dedicated to you, my Padawan Learner." Lindoro’s voice had taken on a heart-warming tone that took Menaria’s breath away. Her eyes widen slightly as everything around her seemed to disappear. All that was important was *him*. This man that had just pledged his all to her. She was so entranced that she forgot to say the next part of the ritual until Lindoro’s gentle squeeze of her shoulders brought her back to awareness. She blinked several times and swallowed. Her throat was dry when she spoke.
"The duties of a Padawan is a long time of servitude, but not in the sense of slavery but in the sense of learning. Learning is the key of the Padawan. Learning the Code from the Master. Being guided in the ways of the Force. Providing assistance to the Master when in need until my trials to Knighthood are set before me." Menaria paused for a second to catch her breath. She was pouring her own heart felt feelings into her words. As she stared into the ever-deepening blue eyes of the man before her, all sense of time stood at a stand still. The walls around them could have fallen, but neither would have noticed. The two were only aware of each other and that was the only thing that mattered.
"My time, my life, my all is yours Master. Do with it as you will." Tears began to form in her eyes, but she fought to keep her calm.
Upon her last words, Lindoro’s own breath caught. A lump formed in his throat while tears of his own began to mist his eyes. Menaria nearly gasped as she saw them form in the Knight’s eyes.
He then guided her to kneel. She knelt down on her knees upon the floor and sat back on her heels. The tall Jedi followed suit in front of her. Menaria’s anxiety returned as she realized what the next stage of the ritual entailed.
The bond forming! She had never opened her mind fully to anyone before.
"As the two become one, a bond is formed. The training bond is considered a precious and delicate matter. One to be taken serious. Never should either Master or Padawan ever abuse this gift. Though weak at first it later becomes the strongest link to the Master and Padawan." Lindoro’s baritone voice was slightly hoarse as the emotions threaten to engulf the man’s calm.
Menaria bowed slightly in preparation. Long warm fingers gently took her head, lightly touching her temples. The Force began to swirl around and through Lindoro as he prepared to form the bond that would connect the two together.
Menaria was taken back by the surge of power coming from him.
He is of the Living Force! She was astounded for few Jedi had total connectivity to the Living Force. Most were part of the Living and Unifying or just with the Unifying Force like Master Windu was known for. A new feeling filled Menaria’s being, replacing her anxiety. Pride. She was proud to be getting a Master who was attuned to the Living Force. Upon that thought, she lowered her mental shields all the way. She was glad and willing to open herself up to the man that was becoming her Master.
Lindoro felt everything that Menaria did. He was taken back when she quickly lowered her shields and allowed him free reign inside her mind.
So trusting! So pure and innocent! The Force has guided me rightfully. This was meant to be! Nothing could explain the sensations that rocked him as he started the bond that would connect her to him for a very long time.
While the two were forming the bond, the Councilors looked on. Several glanced at each other as they commune quietly in their minds. They realized that this was not a normal Master/Padawan bonding. Something special was happening. Master Yoda seemed to be filled with enthusiasm. His ears were nearly pointed all the way up. A smile lit his face as he nodded to the other Councilors while watching two kneeling Jedi.
A good half-hour passed when finally Lindoro took his hands from his Padawan’s face. The two opened their eyes at the same time and shared the same sheepish grin.
He glanced over at Master Windu, who in turn nodded. Lindoro took out a small vibroblade and cut off a lock of his hair. Putting the blade back into one of his pouches from his utility belt, he took the lock of black and began to braid it amongst a lock of her red hair behind her right ear.
"The braid of a Padawan symbolizes the Apprenticeship as well as one’s accomplishments." He closed his eyes momentarily as he used the Force to fuse his and her hair together where they met. Once the braiding was done, he gently tugged on it as his eyes twinkled with mirth.
Menaria couldn’t believe that it was done. Upon the tugging sensation coming from behind her ear she focused upon her Master and noticed his mischievous look. She cracked a smirk that nearly made the new Master laugh. But he refrained himself at the last moment. He then stood up and helped her rise as well. The two then turned and faced the Councilors.
Mace’s deep voice seemed to echo in the room.
"We welcome the newly Master and Padawan officially and they shall be entered in the archives as such." Lindoro and Menaria bowed at the same time to the Councilors. Once that was done, Menaria took her rightful position behind and to the right a few feet from her Master. The Councilors then stepped from their seats walking to the duo to congratulate them on the bonding.
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Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police
Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist.
See stories/viggies in bio
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jeday
Registered:
Jan '04
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Date Posted:
4/14/04 12:18pm
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Ohhh, wonderful!
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Opal
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
4/15/04 6:57am
Subject:
RE: The First (OC Pre TPM)
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Oh, my goodness. That was nothing short of beautiful.
You must have really enjoyed writing that part, because I honestly felt like I could feel your love of these characters in that one.
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