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Author	Topic: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos, Crion) - Complete 3/31/05
dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/27/05 12:38pm Subject: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos, Crion) - Complete 3/31/05 - Date Edited: 3/30/05 7:09pm (3 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
	Title: Broken Circle Author:dianethx Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Xanatos deCrion, Crion deCrion Timeframe: Pre Jedi Apprentice Summary: Events on Telos go from bad to worse. Notes: This started out as a broken nose challenge plot bunny but it kinda morphed into something else. Oh, well. ************************************ The corpse pitched forward, hitting the floor with a low meaty thud. Above him, the bloody liquid of his super-heated entrails sprayed outward, cloudy droplets floating almost weightless and then, ever so gently, the mist began to drift down, glazing all in greasy-brown. The coppery taste of death was everywhere. And, for just a moment, it was quiet. One shuddering breath broke through the wall of stunned silence as Qui-Gon Jinn stared at the carcass. The battle had been short, tainted with crimson corruption and completely unexpected. And yet, he remembered it all... The vibroshiv gleaming abruptly in the madman's hands, the off-pitched whine of the blade screeching upward, discordant and shrill, and then down, as the Jedi tried desperately to parry. The attacker's delusions had only fueled his rage. And Jinn could do nothing but fall back in defense even as the frenzied assault pushed him towards the roaring hearthfire and retreat's end. The vibroshiv wailed close, a jittering promise to rend flesh and skin into bits of steaming meat. Yet Qui-Gon struggled to keep from hurting the man, to disarm him before it was too late. But, even as his lightsaber sliced through the metallic vibroblade, green flame arcing gracefully, the man suddenly turned into the searing light. And then, screaming in pain and obscenities, Crion of Telos died. It should not have happened, not like this. When Jinn and his Padawan first arrived, Crion deCrion, Absolute Ruler of the First House and Monarch of the Telosian people, had met them with warm welcome, all bureaucrat's smiles and cooperation. And he made it known that he was ready to do whatever was necessary to end the destructive conflict between the Rebel Coalition and the government of Telos. That war had been savage, long-standing and exceptionally costly in both credits and lives. The Treasury was depleted; the regime was on the verge of collapse. And the grisly death of untold numbers and the rabid environmental catastrophes that followed the grappling of the power-mad brigands had been devastating. But when the conflict escalated beyond even the Senate's willful blindness, the Republic had bowed to the inevitable and finally sent the Jedi to investigate. Accepting the reality of intervention, deCrion, with much elaborate fanfare, welcomed them with open arms. It seemed then that the city was alive with hope. When the Monarch moved out onto the balcony and bowed to the representatives, the crowds cheered wildly. Everywhere was the sound of blaring trumpets and the sweet song of flutes, the buildings festooned with expensive garlands of white caleotrope and the exotic fragrance of tapava petals, the melodies of deliverance filling the air. And the Ruler of Telos was ever grandiose in his gestures of friendship. Standing there before the milling crowds, at first deCrion only glanced at the tall, black-haired apprentice. But he gave no sign of recognition. After all, Xanatos deCrion had been taken more than 20 years ago to be raised in the Jedi Order and it was not likely that he would ever see his son again. But when he was finally introduced, the politician's smile turned genuine, then hungry for a fleeting instant before oiling back into polite. Bowing with a formal sweep of his hand, all courtier-gallant, he welcomed the Jedi but then, deliberately, unexpectedly, he had grabbed Xanatos and enveloped him in a showy hug. The people roared with delight. A moment later, he let Xani go but continued to whisper sweet words of welcome and joyous family bonds to the young Learner. And, as Jinn frowned with concern and silence, they were swept into the opulent palace. After that, it was all honeyed phrases and sumptuous feasts. Greasy bureaucrats and voluptuous women courted their opinion, flattering and cajoling them to side with deCrion's increasingly savage war. With each day, there were more expensive gifts offered to the Jedi, trinkets from across the Galaxy to tantalize the eye and please the palate. Then further temptations: the use of women for their pleasure, credits enough to satisfy even the most elaborate of desires, and above all, power. Power over the lives of others, power to control, to corrupt, to brutalize at their whim. They all came with their subtle and not so subtle price - turning a blind eye to deCrion's plans for the total obliteration of the Rebel forces. It had sickened Jinn. The maliciousness that always accompanied the offers of pleasure and pain, the ruthless use of people for the gain of a few, the casual inhumanity with which they were offered, was almost too much to bear. However, Xanatos seemed to be overwhelmed by it all - the wealth, the women, power that could used for many things. Qui-Gon had known that he should have spent more time with his Padawan, discussing the potential for corruption, but he was deep in mission imperatives with negotiations and study, working far into the night and usually exhausted by the time he reached their quarters. Besides, Xani was about to take his Trials. If his apprentice could not handle something this simple, he was not ready for the missions he would be assigned as a lone Knight. So Qui-Gon stepped back and allowed him to make his own choices. He was confident that his apprentice would make the right ones. After all, he was brilliant, a powerful and skilled Force-sensitive, and totally committed to the Jedi Order. He had an extraordinary future ahead of him. Of that, Qui-Gon was very certain. Yet he continued to be concerned at the amount of time his young Padawan spent with deCrion. It bubbled beneath the surface, much like a wound that continued to fester under the healed flesh. It pulled at his subconscious. It was a subtle warning that refused to be ignored. But Qui-Gon had put the doubt aside. He was determined to finish this mission as quickly as he could and he knew that Xani would do the right thing, when all was said and done. Besides, there was much to do... He had hoped that he would be able to turn this war into a peaceful settlement with justice for all the inhabitants of Telos. And somehow coerce deCrion into returning the Treasury's funds that Qui-Gon had discovered were funneled into the Monarch's own private accounts... But it was not to be. Finally, after weeks of negotiations, Qui-Gon had had enough. With his Padawan off on a self-appointed fact-finding mission, he set up a meeting with just the two of them, the Jedi Master and the Ruler of Telos, in deCrion's private office. He stood, looking about him as he waited for deCrion to appear. The richly-appointed marlwood walls and ornate gilded carvings of mythological creatures gave off the aura of old decay and excess. And the monumental fireplace with its failed attempt at grandeur and obvious indifference to taste that so characterized the rest of the palace spoke of a torrent of credits - Treasury money that should have been spent on the people of Telos. Qui-Gon felt chilled. Even the cheerful blaze singing wood music could not warm the space. Or perhaps it was the owner of all this wealth that was stealing life from the very air. Ignoring the stilted opulence around him, Jinn began to discuss his conclusions and possible options as soon as they were alone. He had hoped to stave off the complete collapse of the negotiations and try one last time to push the tyrant into a just settlement. But deCrion would have none of it. A derisive half-smile played across his autocratic face as Qui-Gon spoke. Jinn's demands, it seemed, had only produced amusement and an absurd kind of contempt for the Jedi and his own dying people. As Crion stood by the roaring fire, he barely glanced at the settlement conditions before he began to snicker. His sapphire eyes were hard with satisfaction and secrets, glittering with the scorn of one who had planned far ahead for such foolishness and was now seeing it play out. "You're too late, Jinn. Your pathetic attempts at reconciliation have only aided me in my war against the rebel scum." Qui-Gon stilled at that. Seeing the traitorous triumph in deCrion's face, an icy sense of impending disaster frosted across his skin. With a shivering rumble of apprehension, he breathed disquiet, "What have you done?" The man looked at him as if he were some filthy beggar from the streets - Jedi rabble in his worn homespuns. He brushed at his own overtunic as if to rid himself of such trash; the coat was ablaze in finely-cut gems and encrusted embroidery blinking in the firelight and it only emphasized his place in the grand scheme of things - absolute Ruler of Telos. A froth of lace lay at his wattled throat. With supreme indifference, deCrion replied, "More than you ever would with all your talk of balance and the common good." Smiling, enjoying the discomfort and increasing alarm in the Jedi's eyes, he drawled, "I've ended the war with your unwitting help." The air thickened with concern. "Explain." "Really Jinn, you should know better. It was never about the rights of the people. It was about power. Absolute power. Over everything in my domain." His hand began to play with the fireplace mantle, smoothing over the elaborately-carved stone as though caressing a lover or stolen treasure. The ruthless smile grew rancor-ominous. "And I have the power. Over those insignificant fools that trusted me... and over my own son." "Xani? What does my Padawan have to do with this?" Sharp, worried, the Jedi's voice carried all of his apprehension. The Force seemed to sing with discord. "Your Padawan?" Flicking his fingers across an imagined speck of dirt in the marble design, he gave a bark of derisive laughter. "He is mine, Jedi. To do with as I see fit." Blue eyes narrowed in disgust."He is a member of the Jedi Order. He is none of yours." The Ruler turned suddenly, folding his arms across his chest in marked contempt. "He is a deCrion. He was made to rule. Power, women, credits. You forbid him all these things but now he's tasted it. Tasted the power. He would deny it but I've seen his eyes. He wants more than the Jedi can give him." "You are lying, deCrion." "Am I? Have you seen him lately?' Leaning against the exquisite stony carvings, his tunic brilliant in the flickering light, his smile widened with victory. "He's been helping me. Did you know that?" Jinn lowered his eyes in thought, frowned with growing realization that he did not know where his apprentice was at the moment or what he might be doing. But deCrion just snorted at the sight. "No. Of course, you didn't." He stared to saunter towards the stunned Jinn. "He's helping me because I am his father. And because the love my son bears for me." Another grating snicker. "You Jedi have played right into my hands. Forbidding attachment is incredibly naive. It made my son long for a father figure, a guiding light to help him see how the universe really works. And I showed him. Oh, yes, I showed him..." He stopped next to the Master and stared into the troubled eyes. "Xanatos is arrogant, of course. He is a deCrion after all. And I'll grant you that you have taught him well the uses of power. But the young fool needed a fathers guidance almost as much as he needs air." Shrugging his disdain. "Even more than credits..." "Xani would never help you." The icy chill of a Jedi's bludgeoning ire swept the room. But deCrion did not notice. He was too busy gloating, the smooth condescending words flowing, base coin from a treasure chest. "Oh, but he has. Even now, he has gone to make final preparations. One last battle and the rebels will be crushed." Jinn's protests of "Not Xani." fell on deaf ears. The Ruler of Telos was enjoying this too much to care what a mere Jedi would say. "How staunchly you defend him." Thrusting his sneering face into Qui-Gon's vision, deCrion began to chuckle, twisting the poisoned words like a frenzy of razored knives rending bloodied flesh. "You have no idea how easy it was to corrupt his bright promise. He needed someone to show him how to use power for his own ends. All under the guise of a loving parent, of course. Someone who would love him without reservation. As you do not." "I do lo.." He could not say it, not to this consummate manipulator who even now was trying to pillage his own people for the obscenity of control and credits. Frowning with thunderous indignation, he stepped back sharply and stared at the power-hungry Ruler. Loathing what he saw, his dark eyes hardened to grey durasteel. "The Code is clear. Attachment is forbidden by the Jedi Order and my Padawan is well aware of such strictures. And accepts them." But, even as he was growling out the standards by which all Jedi were expected to follow and obey, Qui-Gon could feel the half-truth lodging in his gut. A flash of regret and acceptance of what he had known all along. He could not deny it. The Code may have been enforced for a thousand years but Xanatos was the son of his heart. And he would damned to an eternity of regret if he left his Padawan to this tyrant. "Ah... see, you cannot admit it." deCrion clapped his hands thrice, one slap of flesh against another in slow derision, his sapphire eyes glowing with contempt. "You make it so easy to manipulate the boy. He believes that he is doing the right thing even now, the young fool." Moving to his desk, the Absolute Ruler of Telos looked down at his papers, then, brushed at the delicate lace cravat as if he was discussing tea ceremonials with a pauper and feared contamination. The derision in his voice was absolute and diamond-clear. "He thinks I love him, you know. Oh, he is useful for ferreting out my enemies with that Force magic of his but love... he's a deCrion. He should know better." His eyes smirked his scorn. "I will not allow you to hurt him like this." Qui-Gon's fury was rising. It was obvious that this man had manipulated the war for his own ends and now to include Xanatos in that conflict was beyond belief. He stepped closer, his eyes cobalt fire as he stared at deCrion. In that moment, deCrion seemed to realize that he might have gone too far, scorning the obvious regard that the Jedi had for Xanatos. But his face hardened with stubborn tenacity. After all, he was Monarch, not some simpleton that could be shouted down. "Allow it? He is already mine." He tried to push the Jedi aside, "Now, if you will excuse me, I believe I have a war to win." But Qui-Gon would not be ignored. He towered over the man, willing him to remain. "You have used a Jedi to further your own ends." Lip curling slightly in distaste, the Ruler backed up as if to avoid getting dirtied. Blindly reaching for a handhold, he pulled himself closer to the back of the lovely, ornate desk, trying to put some distance between him and the Jedi. "Why do you think you are still here if not to act as a diversion?" The Jedi's eyes flashed deepest shadow; his voice plummeted into ice and inky night. "You used our presence as Senate's representatives to make the Rebel Coalition think that they were safe enough to negotiate. So that they would come out of hiding. These last weeks..... it was all a trap." "That is how the game is played, Jedi. I would think you would know that by now." Jinn was stone and steel. "Monarch, I will overlook your blatant attempt at suborning my Padawan. He is of age and may choose to stay or leave the Jedi at his own discretion." He leaned forward, staring directly into the wary sapphire eyes of the Absolute Ruler of Telos. There would be no mistake in this. "But as for the rest, I cannot. Crion deCrion, as Republic Representative to the Telosian Government, I arrest you for the theft of the planetary treasury for your own gain, for attempted bribery of a Republic official, for the deliberate murder of thirty-five innocents in your employ, the further murder of several thousand of your planet's citizens in a genocidal war of your choosing. The Republic Senate will decide if there are to be other charges." While Jinn was talking, deCrion was angrily sputtering his excuses, his furious face turning chalky and then crimson as he fumbled further back from the Jedi. His hands were active, too, seeking something. "You won't get away with this. I have friends in high places." Qui-Gon's frown was deep and cutting, his face set in cold durasteel. "You see, deCrion, you are not the only one who has been busy. While you were trying to tempt my Padawan into joining you, I was uncovering the deceits and traitorous actions of a murderer and thief." "You have no proof." The slightest smile of satisfaction flicked across Jinn's face before it morphed back into stone. "Oh, but I do. A Jedi would never arrest someone without evidence, especially one of your stature." He reached for deCrion, bringing out a set of stun-cuffs. "You will have ample opportunity to contact your solicitor." "You have no right." The panicked eyes grew angry, desperate as he looked away, searching for something among the florid imprints on his desk. But the Jedi Master was there first. Jinn grabbed deCrion's arm, drawing his hand down in an attempt to set one stun-cuff on the lace-covered wrist. The Monarch was furious, struggling in earnest, his tunic pulling this way and that, fine-gold embroidery fraying fast as he tried to wrestle himself free. But Jinn only tightened his grip. "Let me go, Jedi." "I cannot." It was said so calmly that deCrion stilled for a moment and then went mad, kicking and shrieking at the Jedi, grasping at his arm even as the manacle clicked into place. He pulled backwards, throwing all his weight toward the ornate floral design and pressed. With that, a hidden compartment opened and an array of vibroshivs and other weapons were evident. The Monarch reached for the blaster, but his hand slipped and, instead a long shiv began to hum in his fingers. He thrust the vibrating blade towards the Jedi, stabbing blindly in fury. Blood blossomed then on the Jedi's sleeve even as Qui-Gon backpedaled away, letting the madman go. He realized that he had little room to maneuver near the desk. And he did not want to hurt the Ruler, only bring him to justice. But with the sharpened knife flailing in the air, he needed to be cautious. Moving into a clear space for battle, he pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it. He hoped that would be enough to bring deCrion to his senses. It did not. Instead, the Ruler screamed, the frenzied cry of blood-lust echoing off the rich walls and carved statuary. As deCrion leapt toward the Jedi, vibroshiv sweeping across the space in a fury, Jinn could do nothing but defend himself. Stepping back, he parried one last time, slicing through the vibroshiv, thinking it was over. With incredible speed, deCrion turned the broken weapon toward Qui-Gon and swung recklessly. But his balance was off. As he jerked forward, the elaborate lace nestled at his wrist caught on the desk edge and he was pulled sideways. Now stumbling wildly, he fell directly into the path of the lightsaber and, in an instant of light and heat and torment, the green blade thrust through his body, impaling him. He screamed then, tearing at his stomach in a vain attempt at holding in his entrails even as he collapsed to the floor. For a few moments, he grunted in searing agony, gagging on his own blood before he glared one last desperate entreaty at his killer and died. The Force wailed its regret. Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master and Republic Representative to the people of Telos in their hour of need, stood there, blinking in disbelief. He had not been fast enough to prevent this, not fast enough to turn off his blade, not fast enough. With one shuddering breath, he stared at the smoldering corpse. He did not see the hearth's firelight shimmering rich color into the room, bright flickers dancing across the ornate walls and lavish furnishings. Nor hear the merry sizzle-pop music of the cheerful blaze, singing of life and wealth and conversation. Nor smell the comfort of woodsmoke teasing him. He only gazed at the sprawled body, one lifeless hand flung wide as if in entreaty, the other clutched at cooked guts. It was a tragic end to the deCrion's reign of terror. But Qui-Gon knew it was not over. There would be explanations and a full inquiry into the demise of the Telosian Ruler before all was said and done. And, if the man was telling the truth, his apprentice might react badly to his father's death, even take deCrion's side in all this. ... unless Jinn could get to him first and explain. With that very thought hounding his conscience, he turned toward the door just as his Padawan, Xanatos deCrion, hurried into the room. "Father, I...." -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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Altaira Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 3/27/05 1:22pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	I can see where Xan would inherit his cold heart. Crion deCrion is one cold cookie. The description and scene was captivating. Crion’s wealth and brutal manipulations were awesome. He had them all fooled. Enticing his son from the jedi would be a last triumph, and I mean last. What a cliff hanger to end on too. That was an intense introduction to Crion and his end. -----signature----- Is someone calling me? I hear my name! That icy breath, that whispers screams of pain!
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 3/27/05 1:22pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos) - Date Edited: 3/27/05 1:26pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Healer_Leona
	Wow... that was intense. Can't help but think poor Qui-Gon... never wanted to hurt the man and winds up killing him, just as Xnantos comes in. Crion was truly despicable using his own son the way he did and Xani, in his blindness over what his eyes see and ignorance on it will never know the truth. That was brilliantly written Diane. -----signature----- Still crazy after all these years.
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Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 3/27/05 2:12pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	So this is what you've been up to eh? Excellent as usual. Poor Qui-Gon. Poor Xanatos too if he didn't really know what his father was up to. Do I get to look forward to more? KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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Musing Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 3/27/05 2:16pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Oh, wow, dianethx. Creepy...and thus perfect for that creep Crion. Or maybe cretin is the word... Doesn't seem AU-ish at all. Was it really that hard to write? It works great!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/27/05 4:58pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Altaira Thanks. I always figured that Crion was a creep. He started a war, stole his people's wealth and generally did a lot of harm. Thanks about the descriptions. I really love to write it but I can get a little carried away some times. I do love writing and reading cliffhangers! Thanks for reading. Leona I do love to write intense. Yes, poor Qui-Gon. He didn't mean to do it but things are about to get much worse! You'll just have to see. LOL. Thanks for the brilliant. I have such lovely readers! KD Yep, this is what I've been working on. Gave me headaches just trying to get the characters right. Crion wasn't hard (I love writing villians. They are just so deliciously evil) but getting Xan right was really difficult. We shall see if my readers like it or not. Yes, there will either be one more really, really long post or 2 shorter posts. I haven't decided yet. I would have broken this one up as well since it's fairly long but there was nowhere to break it without disturbing the cadence of the fight. I'll finish it up sometime this week since I'll be going into lurker mode by the weekend. Musing See, I can write JA or pre-JA almost canon. It isn't really AU but I don't have my JA books right now so I couldn't check to see if it was canon enough. Yes, it was very difficult to write. Not this post but the next (one long or two short - I haven't decided yet) gave me fits. Trying to get Xan right was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I just hope it works out correctly. However, I was quite pleased with it so I'm hoping my readers will be, too. Thanks for reading. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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Layren Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 3/27/05 5:18pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Wow Diane -- I read this before I went to church but didn't have time then to do a reply. That was just amazing I'm so glad to hear that there is going to be more because that would be an absolutely horrible place for an ending Your detail and imagery is absolutely superb and is one of the things that keeps me coming back for more on everything you write. Keep writing! Good luck with the move -----signature----- Proud Master to Ara-gon The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's) Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge I am Jinngerbread.
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JediVeloJinn Registered: Nov '03	Date Posted: 3/27/05 8:52pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	sorry if this turns up twice. I couldn't see my reply. Below is the original: wow. Great start. I can't believe that I caught it at the beginning, instead of reading past posts as usual. Besides, Xani was about to take his Trials. If his apprentice could not handle something this simple, he was not ready for the missions he would be assigned as a lone Knight. smile. I definitely agree. Xan should really be used to being tempted by material things. It just makes me sad that Xan can't see beyond the gaudy things offered to him by his father and chose to abandon Qui's years of work with him. Unless you've got a surprise up your sleeve and Xan was only pretending to go along with his father in order to gain more info? Surely his Jedi instincts must tell him what a sneak Crion is. I look forward to more. Velo -----signature----- “I see,” laughed Strider. “I look foul and feel fair. Is that it? All that is gold does not glitter, not all those that wander are lost.” 'Nighty night, Padawan mine.' Link to fic in bio.
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/28/05 3:57am Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Layren Thanks. So you think I shouldn't end it there. I could have, after all. but I figured my readers would hunt me down and kill me! LOL. Thanks about the imagery. There will be more of it. Thanks for reading. JediVeloJinn Thanks. It is best to begin at the beginning...LOL. Xan should really be used to being tempted by material things. Indeed he should be and I don't think he is really being tempted by material goods so much as power and the love of a son for his father.... As for the up my sleeve thing, I'm not sure but I guess we will find out together. Thanks. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 3/28/05 5:42am Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Wowzers... that was awesome! Great job! Poor Qui... not being able to admit his love for the boy Yep that's deCrion all right... using young Xan like that Well done! -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist. See stories/viggies in bio
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Master_Noi Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 3/28/05 6:18am Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	I always love your imagery. I really felt for Qui-Gon in the last scene, feeling that he needed to get to Xanatos and explain, but having him walk into the room instead. -----signature----- For Such a Time as This ( 09/21/08) A Shrouded Path (08/31/08)
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 3/28/05 7:32am Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Wow! But when he was finally introduced, the politician's smile turned genuine, then hungry for a fleeting instant before oiling back into polite. Bowing with a formal sweep of his hand, all courtier-gallant, he welcomed the Jedi but then, deliberately, unexpectedly, he had grabbed Xanatos and enveloped him in a showy hug. The people roared with delight. A moment later, he let Xani go but continued to whisper sweet words of welcome and joyous family bonds to the young Learner. And, as Jinn frowned with concern and silence, they were swept into the opulent palace. And how easily he accomplished the stealing of his son's heart and soul! You've mentioned several times how slowly you write. All I can say is that the great care and effort you put into your writing comes through every time! This was incredibly powerful and moving. Your imagery was superb; I could see everything you described! Lovely! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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Jedi-Tiger-Lilly Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 3/28/05 8:40am Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	That was amazing. Your descriptions were so well done. I really liked this story. -----signature----- "The Jedi travel to the stars; and wait; and hope, with a candle in the window." Master Yoda - Dark Rendezvous Newborn Empire http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19545501/?0
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/28/05 11:43am Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	You leave me in awe every time, diane. This was an absolute joy to read. It was so rich in description and emotion. I was just blown away by every paragraph. -----signature----- So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that. -Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, by Matthew Stover
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Indra Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 3/28/05 12:08pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Woohoo! You wrote it. I was so looking forward to this from what you said on the Xan-thread. Impressive writing, as usual. I'm always amazed at your eloquence. The words seem to dance around each other, drawing pictures and bringing the characters to life. I can't wait to read how Xanatos will react to his father's death. A truly wonderful story. -----signature----- I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. - Douglas Adams Picking Every Blade of Truth http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23113954/p1/?1 - collaboration with VaderLVR
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maychorian Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 3/28/05 3:30pm Subject: RE: Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos)
	Whoa. I'd never read anything with Crion as a living, talking character before. Just reading his words made me feel a little icky, as if rancid oil had spilled on my skin. Bleeuch. Very, very well-written. Can't wait to see Xani. Poor kid . . . though Qui-Gon was right, he should have been old enough to make the right choice on his own. Xan must have had the seed of darkness within him the entire time. But then, don't we all? -----signature----- Kynstar's former Padawan The Unchosen: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20049795/p1/ updated 2/16 When the darkness falls early, and the light hits the ground, there's a moment to be captured . . .
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