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Topic:
A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - July 15th --- "Completed " -----
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/17/05 4:30pm
Subject:
A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - July 15th --- "Completed " -----
- Date Edited:
7/15/05 3:51am (16 edits total)
Edited By:
Gkilkenny
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Ok here goes another story, I was happy with my first story, and I think this one is ok.
I still like reading better than writing, but I wrote this so I may as well share it 
Title: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan story
Time Frame : JA
Category: A bit AU
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and several others
Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me except a couple of OCs
Summary: A Memory lost: another take on the partnership of Qui-Gon and Obi-wan.
Waiting…. listening.. beat.. beat…beat, the sound of ones heart, telling the owner that he is alive.
But what is alive, One should be full of energy and vigour and have an interest in life.
Not lacking the will or the interest to make an effort or to even listen to his Master.
The feeling of failure coursed through his veins.
His body was here in this training arena, his mind was elsewhere.
He had practiced this Kata over and over more times than even his Master knew about.
He could do it with his eyes closed.
He knew because he had practiced with his eyes closed.
Three years, Obi-wan had been Qui-Gons apprentice for three years.... Three hollow years.
He remembered back to the first day of his apprenticeship.
(I was quivering with excitement.
I couldn’t believe that finally, I was Qui-Gon’s Padawan.
Previously Qui-Gon had refused to accept me as his apprentice, so I was stunned when he changed his mind.
I had noticed him speaking with Master Yoda, and after a lengthy discussion, Master Jinn approached me while I was cooling down after a strenuous workout.
I was surprised and unbelievably happy when he asked me to be his apprentice.
I should have realised then that he was just doing his duty as a member of the Jedi Order.
He was a Master without a Padawan, and Masters were in short supply, He had no intentions of burdening himself with another failure.
But Master Yoda was not a being you could say no too.
So after their discussion Qui-Gon Jinn asked me to be his apprentice.
I wish I had known then what I know now.
I would have been prepared for the contempt and disapproval
I would see in his eyes every time he looked at me.)………
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Bastet
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
6/17/05 5:15pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 18th
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Oh, poor Obi-Wan! Why's Qui so mean?! Contempt and dissaproval?! I hope dear Obi is only being over-sensitive, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Can't wait for more! 
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"Good night Mama. Good night Papa. Good night de cat Bastet." "Meow!" BTW, Obi-Wan is hot. Fics in bio. 
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PadawanEstel
Registered:
Jan '04
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Date Posted:
6/17/05 5:46pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 18th
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Awww...poor Obi! I hope that Qui-Gon will stop being contemptuous...that's not nice! I guess there's only one way to find out... *hint hint* 
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I don't want to talk about it! I want to save the galaxy - if that's even possible. <3 Carth Onassi
"What kind of a Jedi will I be if I can't even kill myself correctly?!?"
Obi-Wan, upon waking up in the healer's after a failed suicide attempt.
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/18/05 4:40am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 18th
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Bastet Hi. Yes Qui is mean, but then there wouldn't be any Obi angst if he was nice.
PadawanEstel thanks We should find out eventually
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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padmay_skywalker
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/05 11:51am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 18th
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Qui is no nice. please, please, please let obi over exaggerate
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"If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!"
E-Twin to Padawan_Anne
Padawan to JOINME. love ya, Alexis
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/18/05 7:47pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 18th
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padmay_skywalker Maybe Obi sees his own insecurities in other peoples eyes,
but Qui-Gon certainly doesn't give anything away, so
Obi-wan will have to wait to discover if he likes him or not.
a post later today, thanks for reading.
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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maychorian
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/05 9:34pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 18th
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Interesting so far. Good twist on the first JA book. Sounds like it's going worse than it would have if Yoda had meddled so much. I look forward to more!
-----signature-----
Kynstar's former Padawan The Unchosen: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20049795/p1/ updated 2/16 When the darkness falls early, and the light hits the ground, there's a moment to be captured . . .
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/19/05 12:28am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 19th -updated-
- Date Edited:
5/3 2:41am (3 edits total)
Edited By:
Gkilkenny
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Maychlorian thanks Yoda was a meddlesome little green
ummm what is he?
here's more
~~~~
But maybe it was my own feelings of unworthiness that gave me the impression that my Master disapproved
of me and his stare was not contempt but regret.
Master Yoda thought differently.
I had asked him why Qui-Gon had changed his mind and accepted me as his Padawan.
He had answered “Knows he does of great ability you have, nothing but praise has he for you. Given him something that was lost you have.”
I asked him what that was and he just said
“A reason for being”.
(If this was so, why did he push me so hard?) I thought.
I knew when he accepted me as an apprentice it would be difficult living up to his high standards.
He was legendary as a negotiator and warrior.
I heard the stories about him, how each Jedi would aspire to be as dedicated to the Jedi Order as Qui-Gon himself was.
I wondered if maybe the legend was bigger than the Master, and the Master could not step down from the pedestal that
his peers had placed him on.
So maybe he sees, that I can never achieve what he expected of me, and regrets his decision to accept me.
~~~~
My Master was instructing me on the 20th Kata it was a combined set of movements taking in the first three forms
the Shii-Cho, Makashi, and Soresu.
Combining technics from each form, the horizontal swipe, fluid movements sensing and anticipating where the weapon would target, and rapid movement keeping your opponent off balance.
The form required total concentration.
Culminating in a jump forward with a thrust of the sabre, as your opponent blocks the strike, twist in mid air, keeping contact with the others sabre, but landing behind, as the opponent turns, feign to the left then striking to the right.
Movements that kept an opponent continually off-guard.
If the form was executed correctly, balance was lost and a well placed foot connecting to the others body would bring them down.
The movements were fast and if you weren’t focused and didn’t keep the opponent in sight at all times, he would unbalance you and the tables would be turned in your opponents favour.
It was a very advanced Kata not many sixteen year olds had mastered it and I was still fifteen.
I had attempted it many times in the sparring arena with just my Master instructing me.
But today my master had decided that I would do it in front of an audience.
Several apprentices were attempting the form.
Out of the five padawan’s before me four had successfully completed it.
They were all seventeen and were on the verge of attaining senior Padawan status.
My Master’s expression was set in stone, he was devoid of emotion and it sent shivers up my spine.
I could never tell if he was happy with my progress or disappointed.
He was giving me final instructions before I attempted the kata.
“Obi-Wan I shouldn’t need to tell you that I believe you are ready and that you have the ability to complete this form.” He said.
“Now remember concentrate on the here and now. Focus and do what you must”. He added with a pat on my shoulder.
I hated it when he said that because over the last three years I had grown to know what it really meant.
“Do it or I will be disappointed in you again” he never said it, but I felt he was thinking it.
In my spare time I had practiced, sometimes I couldn’t sleep so I would go to ‘My Place’ and practice.
My Place was an old underground hall I found in my initiate days, it was in a section of the old Temple.
Master Tomar, unbeknown to him had actually found it for me.
He was a great Jedi in his day and had retired from missions and lived down on the lower level of the temple,
where he maintained the heating and cooling equipment and did repairs and maintenance to the temple.
I loved going to visit him, he was always telling me stories of his younger days when he was an active Jedi.
I could sit and listen to him for hours.
I was quite the explorer in my early youth and Master Tomar had shown me the plans of the old lower level of the
Temple before the new temple was erected over it.
He had shown me many sections in the lower levels that had been abandoned, since the new upper levels were built.
But one area that Master Tomar called the great hall, was off limits to everyone, the gardens had been built over
it and water seepage had made it unsafe.
I asked him once if I could have a look, but he refused to allow anyone down there.
He said it was locked and the entrance was blocked.
One day I saw him disappear through the hanging vines, so I followed him.
Hidden behind some rocks and vines in the corner of the garden, was a steel door.
There were many boulders surrounding the entrance and vines had grown quite thickly and were hanging down from the rocks.
As an initiate I had played in this garden many times, but had never realised that under all the thickets and vines
was the entrance to the old Temple.
I remember the day Master Tomar died, I had gone to visit him.
He was going to read a story to me, he was expecting me so I just went in.
He was sitting in his chair, but something didn’t feel right with him.
He had his eyes closed.
So I thought he was resting, I knew he needed his glasses to read so I went to the draw and got out his glasses.
In the draw was a key.
I thought it might be the key to the great hall.
But I wouldn’t touch it because Master Tomar trusted me, and I wouldn’t betray that trust.
When I brought the glasses and the book over I realised Master Tomar had become one with the force.
He had told me many times that his time was coming to an end, and that he was looking forward to being within the force.
Master Tomar had informed Master Yoda that he had a list of possessions that he wanted me to have when he passed to the force, most were books, and a couple of trinkets and small statues.
So I didn’t think he would mind if I took the key.
After the funeral, Master Yoda cleaned out all Master Tomars personal possessions, and brought lots of things to me.
I did not want any one touching them, because they were special, so I decided to see if there was a safe place to keep them in the great hall.
That’s when I discovered ‘My place’
I never took anyone else there, it was special, it was mine.
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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maychorian
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
6/20/05 11:34am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 19th --New update--
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Ouch. ::winces:: Obi-Wan's thoughts about Qui-Gon are very, very painful here. I hope that it's all in his mind, that Qui-Gon does care about him deep down and just doesn't know how to show it, or is afraid to show it because of Xanatos. It's good that Obi-Wan has a place of his own where he feels safe, though.
Keep going! You're doing very well at writing Obi's perspective.
-----signature-----
Kynstar's former Padawan The Unchosen: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20049795/p1/ updated 2/16 When the darkness falls early, and the light hits the ground, there's a moment to be captured . . .
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Bastet
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
6/20/05 2:13pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 19th --New update--
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Dear, dear. Poor Obi-Wan. He needs a hug. Can't wait for more story!
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"Good night Mama. Good night Papa. Good night de cat Bastet." "Meow!" BTW, Obi-Wan is hot. Fics in bio.
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PadawanEstel
Registered:
Jan '04
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Date Posted:
6/20/05 6:09pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 19th --New update--
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Cool, I want to hear more about this place of his. Kind of like a sanctuary to escape from what he sees as Qui-Gon's lack of trust in him, I guess? Poor kid, he needs  and  ! I volunteer! 
And this kata in front of an audience?  Talk about no pressure...
More soon? Please?
-----signature-----
I don't want to talk about it! I want to save the galaxy - if that's even possible. <3 Carth Onassi
"What kind of a Jedi will I be if I can't even kill myself correctly?!?"
Obi-Wan, upon waking up in the healer's after a failed suicide attempt.
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jodiwent
Registered:
Feb '00
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Date Posted:
6/21/05 3:04am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 19th --New update--
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I can't wait to see what happens because of Obi's special place. There has to be something mysterious going on down there.
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/21/05 3:49am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 19th --New update--
- Date Edited:
6/21/05 3:49am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Gkilkenny
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MaychorianThanks  I wasn't sure if it sounded right.
Bastet Obi sure needs lots of hugs
Padawan Estel So true! there is a big line to give Obi loving hugs. 
jodiwent mysterious place Mmmmm 
Thanks for your replies I appreciate it
another post coming!
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/21/05 4:01am
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 21st --updated--
- Date Edited:
5/3 2:44am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Gkilkenny
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My Master squeezed my shoulder lightly which brought me back to the present. “The match will begin now” He announced.
“Yes Master I am ready”
I bowed to him then turned and bowed to my opponent, a seventeen year old Dressilian Padawan named Tis’bar.
I knew Tis’bar from the healers ward, we were there at the same time.
He had broken his leg in a training session.
I had broken mine on a mission that went wrong. We had spent a week together .
He asked me once why my Master hadn’t been to visit me, I explained that he had gone back to complete the mission.
I tried to cover up my disappointment that my Master had decided to go back, instead of asking the Council to send someone else to complete the mission.
I remember at the time I defended my Master actions.
I told Tis’bar that my Master couldn’t do anything for me, and I knew he hated sitting around the healers ward.
So I said I didn’t expect him to give up the mission because of my injury.
Tis’bar said he felt sorry for me, and that Master Jinn always made him feel uncomfortable.
I just smiled and said he is a great Master.
But I am sure Tis’bar could sense my disappointment.
~~~~
Anyway the match began slow and steady at first while each of us was gaining a perspective of the other.
After many minutes had passed, the exercise was gaining momentum and both of us were sweating as the
Kata grew faster and faster.
Through the entire form each opponent would try to out manoeuvre the other culminating in the twist and the knockdown.
I could sense the force flowing through me, I was focused, I had noticed the same flaw continually appearing in
Tis’bars moves.
“(Ah there it was again’) I knew when the moment would come when he would be vulnerable.
Now this was it, I struck’ he was off balance I twisted in the air landing behind him throwing out my foot connecting with his body and down he went.
Once he fell I touched him on the shoulder with my sabre signalling the end of the match.
(“I did it I had completed the 20th Kata and I wasn’t even sixteen yet.)I thought.
My birthday was several weeks away and I couldn’t believe I had succeeded in completing the form.
I could hear the roar of the crowd applauding.
I stood for a few seconds enjoying the moment then held my hand out to my opponent and helped him to his feet, he also congratulated me.
I was so happy!
Smiling broadly I turned to my Master and the cold shiver of dread rushed through me again.
It was like looking at a statue. His face was impassive he just stared at me.
The smile quickly disappeared from my face.
I walked over to him and bowed acknowledging the end of the match. Then I waited for a response.
He formally bowed back to me.
“You did as well as I expected Padawan.” Qui-Gon said as he nodded his head.
“ Tomorrow we will begin instruction on the 21st Kata. Now go and shower and be back in our apartment for evening meal in two hours. Then we will discuss Today’s match.”
“Yes Master” I said barely holding back my anguish.
I retreated to the showers where my friends all gathered around congratulating me.
I was happy, but I wanted my master to be happy if not for me, but for himself, but he wasn’t.
~~~~
“Qui-Gon, congratulations, your Padawan did very well,” announced the voices of several of Qui-Gons fellow Masters.
“You must be very proud of him, would you tell him we are happy for him.”
Qui-Gon stared at the group of Masters, at that moment in his usual non committal voice he answered.
“Pride in ones achievements, can lead to arrogance and arrogance leads to….. he stopped in mid sentence then said. “Yes my Padawan did well. If you will excuse me I must be going”
Qui-Gon seemed to be flustered as he realised what he had started to say, he nodded to them and quickly left the arena.
As they watched him disappear from the arena four rather stunned Masters began to comment.
“What is the matter with that man” One said.
“Doesn’t he know what an excellent Padawan he has.” Another agreed.
“Did you notice the boys face when he finished the Kata,” One mentioned, several of the Masters nodded.
“His treatment of that boy is getting worse, “ said Master Rheingold.
“ I am going to talk to Master Yoda about this.”
After the shower Obi-wan had made excuses to his friends, they wanted to go to the cafeteria to celebrate.
Telling them he wanted to go and speak with his Master, and that he would come by later, but in reality he was
miserable and he didn’t feel like celebrating.
He wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend he was back in the crèche, with no worries.
In the crèche the only problems he ever had, was how to get the paint out of his hair.
He remembered one day he had slipped over in a puddle of paint.
One of the other initiates had spilled a bucket of paint near the door; he had come back from the fresher and slid right across the floor crashing into Master Tulsa his crèche Master.
He thought he was in big trouble, when she bent down and picked him up he had put his arms around her neck
because he was slipping.
He waited for the lecture, and had closed his eyes.
But he felt a strange sensation, like Master Tulsa was shaking, he opened his eyes and realised she was chuckling,
all the other children were starting to laugh as well, and he started laughing too.
She had blue paint all over her neck and in her hair.
Master Tulsa wasn’t angry at all, it had been an accident, and she even made a game of cleaning the paint up.
Master Tulsa was the best Master I ever knew. He thought.
As he slipped away and went down to ‘his private place.’
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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AngryWarrior
Registered:
Mar '05
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Date Posted:
6/21/05 9:58pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 21st --updated--
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Delurks...
Poor Obi-Wan, hopefully Qui-Gon will eventually come around to realize just how precious Obi-Wan is...
Goes back to lurking.
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maychorian
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
6/21/05 10:18pm
Subject:
RE: A Memory Lost an Obi-wan Story -JA - June 21st --updated--
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Ah, this post starts out with a triumph, but quickly becomes very sad. Poor Obi-Wan.
I like how use memories to contrast what is happening now to what Obi-Wan's life has been like. That technique also shows that Obi-Wan is losing focus on the present--he's not living in the here and now. It's perfectly understandable--he's miserable in the present, and he's grasping desperately for some kind of happiness. But it might cause problems if he isn't careful.
I can see Qui-Gon's reasoning in this, but I hope that he soon comes to a breaking point and realizes how much pain he's causing his Padawan.
-----signature-----
Kynstar's former Padawan The Unchosen: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20049795/p1/ updated 2/16 When the darkness falls early, and the light hits the ground, there's a moment to be captured . . .
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