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| Author |
Topic:
~*You Get Me*~- - now COMPLETE!!
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val solo
Registered:
Jun '00
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 3:56pm
Subject:
~*You Get Me*~- - now COMPLETE!!
- Date Edited:
7/27/04 11:01am (26 edits total)
Edited By:
val solo
|
Title: ~* YOU GET ME *~
Time Period: NJO--Post Traitor
Main Characters: Jacen /Tahiri
Genre: Mush, drama, angst and smidgeon of humor here and there! 
Enjoy!!! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1—
Jacen was back from the dead it seemed. Tahiri had felt his death on board the stolen Yuuzhan Vong ship all those months ago just like all of the other Jedi had including Jacen’s own twin sister. But now, he had returned and the whole station was buzzing with excitement.
Tahiri fought back the flash of anger she felt as the thought entered her mind for the millionth time since Myrkr. Why did Anakin have to die? And now knowing Jacen was still alive the wound was ripped back open. Why couldn’t it have been him instead of Anakin?
She clenched her fists and blinked back the angry tears. This train of thinking would take her to places she shouldn’t go. Her feelings would be easily sensed by the family full of Jedi she was to dine with in only ten minutes. Master Skywalker would most likely be the first to pick up on any anger, but then there was Leia, Jaina, Mara, not to mention Jacen himself. Would he know how much she despised him?
Trying to clear her mind, she quickly combed out her blond hair and splashed a bit of cold water on her face.
“Time to face the music,” she muttered to her reflection in the mirror.
As she made her way to the Solo family’s private quarters she felt a twinge of guilt. Tahiri knew it was of the Dark side to have such ambivalence toward Jacen. He was not the one to kill Anakin. That had been the Yuuzhan Vong, and she had more experience than she wanted with them. And as she pondered that thought, she realized that Jacen was now the only other person beside herself with such close contact with the Vong who had lived to tell about it.
All too soon, she was standing at the Solo’s door. It had become a second home to her… a second family. After Anakin’s death, they had welcomed her into their fold with open arms and warm hearts. Never had she felt more a part of something than now. She pushed the buzzer and in a brief moment, it was opened, and she was enveloped in a huge wookie-style hug by Han Solo.
“Tahiri!” he exclaimed as he squeezed her so tightly that her bare feet left the floor. She’d never seen Han Solo so happy. “We’ve been waiting on you, kid.” He let her go and the air rushed back into her lungs. She forced a smile and looked up into his rugged face shining with joy. “Isn’t it great? Jacen’s back!”
She nodded silently and peeked around to say hello to Leia and the Skywalkers who were already seated at the dining table. Luke was holding Ben on his lap trying desperately to get the boy to eat something green and leafy.
“Hi, Tahiri,” the Jedi master offered casually. It still surprised her how the legendary man managed to remain so unassuming. He never held his status over anyone’s head, even a lowly orphan from Tatooine like her.
“Having trouble, Master Skywalker?” she asked with a chuckle. She slid into a chair across from him and grabbed Ben’s chubby little hand. “Hi, handsome boy,” she said and the baby grinned widely revealing his few tiny teeth. Luke seized the opportunity and shoved the food into his son’s mouth. The Jedi allowed himself a moment of triumph, which instantly disappeared once Ben got a taste of the stuff and spat it out right onto his father’s shirt.
“Sorry!” Tahiri offered while she wrinkled up her nose. “You could always use the Force,” she suggested teasingly.
“Don’t think I’m not tempted,” Luke answered as he wiped off the mess.
Tahiri surveyed the room and noticed that Jaina and Jacen were missing. As if reading her thoughts, Leia announced, “The twins will be here in just a moment. Jaina went to get Jacen.” Tahiri couldn’t ignore the looks of utter relief and delight that were present on everyone’s faces. It was a palpable presence in the room, and she hoped she’d be able to convince everyone she felt the same.
Just then, the doors swished open, and Tahiri froze in her chair. She couldn’t seem to turn around to see who had entered, and she didn’t need to. Jaina Solo’s voice told her all she needed to know.
“We’re back and we’re hungry!” Jaina had her arm wrapped through her brother’s and led him over to the table. “Hey, Mom, Jace told me he’s missed your cooking.”
Leia ran to greet her son and wrapped her arm through Jacen’s other arm nearly beaming her love for him.
“It must have been pretty bad then,” came a sarcastic aside from Han. Leia’s head snapped around and she glared sharply at her husband.
“Han!”
“Daddy!” Jaina added.
“What?” he asked innocently. “I’m just trying to keep things light.”
“It’s okay, Mom,” Jacen assured her with a pat on her hand. “And it’s true… I have missed your cooking--- but not as much as I missed you.” He smiled and leaned down to place a kiss on his mother’s forehead. She wrapped her arms around her son and hugged him as if she’d never let him go again. “Hey, when did you get so short?”
Leia pushed him away indignantly and stared up giving him a playful swat. “I’ve always been this height, thank you very much. It’s just that you’ve gotten taller.”
And bigger, thought Tahiri. At some point during this little familial exchange, Tahiri had gotten up the courage to turn and face her demons, and what she found had not been what she’d expected. To put it lightly, Jacen Solo was different than the last time she’d seen him. Not only was he taller, but it was evident even underneath his loose Jedi tunic that he was much more muscular. His brown hair was a bit shaggy, curling just a little on the ends. However, what struck her the most were the changes in his face. He wasn’t as pale as she thought he would be. In fact, he had very healthy coloring… except for the several scars that she knew hadn’t been there before Myrkr. There were two small ones on each cheek, close to the bone, and another one at the corner of his left eye.
As she examined this new Jacen Solo, a strange mix of emotions swept over her.
They were two of a kind.
“Hello, Tahiri,” he said smiling at her. She jolted and forced herself to stop staring at him. Offering a weak smile, her eyes rested on his. An understanding look passed between them, and she instantly felt more comfortable.
“Hi, Jacen. I’m glad you’re back.”
Did I just say that? she wondered. She certainly hadn’t intended to say any such thing, but it had escaped her lips before she could think about it. Slinking back into her chair, she suddenly felt very confused.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re all glad you’re back, Jace,” Jaina added. “But that’s enough mushy stuff. Can we eat dinner now?” She plopped down beside Tahiri while Jacen moved to take a seat across from his sister and next to Luke.
“Where’s Jag tonight?” Mara asked her niece. That got Jacen’s attention and he studied his sister from the other side of the table.
“Jag Fel?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow. “What’s this?”
Mara, seated on the other side of her husband, leaned forward and peered down to Jacen, a mischievous grin plastered on her face. “Jaina and Jag are becoming an ‘item’. Didn’t she tell you about it yet?”
“Aunt Mara!”
“No, she didn’t… yet,” Jacen replied with a grin Tahiri noticed reminded her a lot of his father.
“Oh, great!” Jaina declared.
“Jaina!” Leia admonished from the end of the table.
“It’s okay, Mom,” Jacen said again. “Really. I actually missed Jaina’s complaining.”
Tahiri had to giggle at the look of shock on Jaina’s face. “Ha-ha. Very funny,” Jaina said with a roll of her eyes.
“And what about this whole ‘goddess’ fiasco? That had to be your idea, Jaya dear,” he couldn’t resist adding. He shot Tahiri a conspiratorial glance and ended it with a wink.
Han Solo watched the exchange between his children with a sense of utter contentment. For the first time since the war had begun, he felt as if there was hope for his family, and he now considered the barefoot blond sitting at his table one of his own. Her undying devotion to his son had secured her a place in Han’s heart. He was only disappointed that Anakin was gone and she wouldn’t be able to become a true member of the Solo clan. He’d have to settle for an ‘adopted’ daughter then, he mused.
“Enough!” Leia announced with a grin. “Let’s eat! Luke, would you do the honors, please?”
Luke offered a slight nod as he handed Ben over to Mara and stood to address the small gathering.
“We’re here tonight to celebrate life.” He turned and laid a hand on Jacen’s shoulder. “We had lost hope, and now it’s found. Despite our losses, our pain, we are all here together now and for that we are profoundly grateful. Welcome home, Jacen.”
Small cheers of “here! here!” sounded from around the table as the family delighted in the return of their son. Then the meal finally began. The menu consisted of delicacies no one had been privileged to since the start of the war, and Tahiri knew that a fortune had to have been shelled out to account for such treats. She was certain that Karrde or Lando Calrissian had helped supply food for the family. The two had been seen at the station earlier in the day.
In spite of the fact that the meal was extremely rare and precious, Tahiri couldn’t bring herself to eat much. She took a few bites of this and that, but mostly just managed to push her food from one side of her plate to the other as the conversation rambled on around her. It was apparent that everyone was still a bit unsure of how to act around Jacen. They tried to steer away from any mention of the Vong, which only succeeded in making the evening rather awkward. Several times she ventured a peek at Jacen who was remaining pretty quiet himself. Once or twice she was surprised to find him already looking at her and smiling as if he knew something she didn’t.
It was unnerving.
Inevitably, the conversation turned to Jacen. All eyes were glued on him and his mother as she tried to persuade him to go to the med center and be examined.
“I’m all right, Mom… really.”
Leia Solo was struggling to keep the tears from her eyes as she looked lovingly upon her oldest son—her only son, now. For so long, he’d been gone, almost a whole year without him. Everyone else was certain he’d died like Anakin, but not her. No, she knew and had known the whole time that he was still out there somewhere… her Jacen. And now he was back.
But he wasn’t the same. Anyone who looked at him could tell that much.
“Even so,” she managed to choke out through the uncomfortable lump lodged in her throat, “I’d like Cilghal to check you over.”
“Mom,” he started to protest.
“Just do it--- for your mother?” She was giving him the maternal guilt-trip, something she tried to avoid but was finding all too effective in her older years.
Jacen grinned and sighed, “Okay! Okay! I’ll do it for my mother. Politicians…,” she heard him teasingly murmur under his breath as he took another bite. At that moment, he sounded just like his father and not at all like a young man who had just gone through a year of hell at the hands of the Yuuzhan Vong. She hadn’t yet asked him to share his experience, but the curiosity was eating away at her. Soon, she thought. He’ll tell me soon enough when he’s ready.
Tahiri found herself sneaking looks at Jacen Solo more often than she’d care to admit. It wasn’t that she thought him more attractive than Anakin had been. No, no one could ever compare to her Anakin. He’d been her first and only love. However, something about Jacen and the way he looked at her kept her glancing over and over again. Maybe it was the fact that he’d been thought dead all this time and was now ‘risen’ again. Whatever it was made her feel like a fool since he had noticed her staring one too many times. Relief came when the meal was finished and Jacen excused himself for the evening. He only left after being hugged by nearly everyone in the room… everyone except Tahiri. She managed to keep from looking in his direction until the doors closed behind him.
Part of her was disappointed that he had gone--- another part grateful. She stayed a bit longer to help Leia clean up and then headed back to her room.
In the process of opening her door, a strange tingle down her spine caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. She froze and then slowly turned around.
“Hey.”
“H-hey,” she replied, her heart pounding wildly in her chest at the sight of Jacen standing right in front of her.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he apologized.
“Oh, no, I’m—I’m okay,” she said. Jacen cocked his head to the side and studied her closely.
“You’re lying,” he stated with a grin.
“Maybe just a little,” she admitted, crinkling up her nose. An awkward silence slipped between them and Tahiri stared at her bare toes. They were painted bright red today.
“Nice toes.”
She laughed at his silly compliment and shifted her weight from foot to foot.
“I won’t keep you, Tahiri,” Jacen began sounding more serious, “but I just wanted to speak with you for a minute, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure. .. Okay.”
“I saw you looking at me.” She simply nodded her affirmation. “I can sense your unease around me, and I think I understand why. I still miss him, too.”
Tahiri was stunned to hear him speak so openly of feelings she’d been having all night. Was he reading her mind?
“I wish it was me who died instead of him. I’m still not totally sure of why things happened like they did, but some good has come from all of it. I’d like to sit down with you soon and discuss what I’ve learned… what I experienced.” Jacen had taken her small hand in his own and was softly rubbing her knuckles. It took a moment for Tahiri to realize what he was doing, and once she did, she pulled her hand away.
“Why me? Why not talk to your uncle or your sister or someone? Why would you want to talk to me?” she asked.
“Because you’ll understand more than anyone else will. You’ve been there, Tahiri. No one else knows what it’s really like… what they’re really like.” As she gazed into his brown eyes, she knew he spoke the truth. Someone who hadn’t experienced the Vong up close and personal could never truly comprehend how they affected you--- or infected you, she thought snidely.
Slowly, she nodded her head. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll listen to what you have to say.”
“That’s all I ask,” he replied with another Solo smile. “We’ll talk soon. Goodnight, Tahiri.”
And then he was gone as suddenly as he had appeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~
I decided to move this here to the Beyond the Saga Forum. I'll go ahead and post all that I have written.
Old thread
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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val solo
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 3:58pm
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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You Get Me-- Chapter 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~
The piercing scream jolted her from her sleep, if one could even call it sleep. It took her a moment to realize the voice had been her own and she had been dreaming once again… of him. The images were still fresh in her mind of the last time she’d seen him alive fighting valiantly against the Vong in order to save the lives of others-- including herself. Every night she was forced to relive the horror of seeing her love simply cease to be, leaving only an empty, lifeless shell behind.
So many people had told her that time would ease the pain, but with each passing day the pain seemed to be getting worse.
Since Jacen had returned several weeks before, the hole in her heart felt like it was expanding, leaving her more alone than ever. So many things about him reminded her of Anakin… the way he walked, the way he laughed, even the way he smelled only served to taunt and tease her. Fate, it appeared, was a wicked thing, which delighted in the misery of others… or more pointedly, Tahiri’s misery.
Everyone else was deliriously happy that Jacen had come back and that the war seemed to be taking a turn for the better. They were full of hope for the future. But not her. What did she have to look forward to even if they did defeat the Vong? Her one true love was gone. She had no remaining family despite the Solo’s insistence that she was part of theirs. There was no place for her in the universe… no purpose. What was the point of it all?
At that instant, the door buzzer sounded causing her to jump and her heart to lurch. Taking a deep breath, she headed for the door wondering who would be stopping by in the middle of the night. It couldn’t be good news. Nothing good ever came from the night.
Opening the door she was startled to see Jacen standing there. His hair was mussed, and he looked as if he’d just awakened.
“Jacen?”
“Hi,” he replied. “Can I come in?”
Tahiri glanced down at her baggy sleep pants and ran a hand through her tangled hair. “I – I guess so,” she conceded and then moved aside for him to enter. He walked hesitantly inside as if he was unsure about whether he should be there or not, and Tahiri watched him intently. The door swished shut and she flipped on a light.
“Is something wrong?” she asked waiting for the bad news.
Jacen looked at her in bewilderment. “Um, why don’t you tell me,” he stated.
Tahiri stared back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well,” Jacen began, “I came because I felt you call out to me through the Force. You woke me out of a sound sleep, and I got here as fast as I could.”
She studied him for a few moments trying to decide if this was a joke or if he was for real. “Jacen, I didn’t call out to you,” she finally declared as she turned and plopped on the edge of her bed.
“Hmm…,” he pondered. “That’s strange. I was for certain that you had. It felt urgent… like you were in danger or something.”
Tahiri’s gaze shot up, but then she instantly looked away. Surely he hadn’t sensed her thoughts, the debate she’d been having about whether it was worth it to even be alive. She immediately put up a block on her emotions, despite the risk that Jacen would easily figure out what she’d done, and tried to sound nonchalant.
“Well, I didn’t call you and, as you can see, I’m perfectly all right.”
Jacen chuckled. “All right, huh?” Tahiri felt her temper flare, but she kept it in check, watching him as he casually sat down in the chair by her small desk. “Well, that’s good to know. I was a little worried about you even though Mom and Dad seem to think you’re doing okay. Maybe that’s because I know better than them what you’ve been through.”
The serious tone in his voice took Tahiri by surprise, and her defenses snapped reflexively into place. He was headed down roads she didn’t want to travel, ready to dredge up memories and feelings she’d been trying desperately to squelch for way too long.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he invited, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His face and voice were both so sincere and comforting that part of her nearly jumped right in, divulging her deepest, darkest emotions. Being with Jacen Solo seemed so comfortable, so natural. However, she quickly reined in that wayward part, and reminded herself that he wasn’t Anakin… and never would be.
“No. No, I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about anything with you right now,” she stated, holding her head up high without a single waiver in her voice.
It was Jacen’s turn to be taken off guard. He hadn’t expected quite so icy a response even though he knew she was harboring feelings that needed to be released, and soon. No one else seemed to be able to recognize that Tahiri was near the breaking point--- or maybe they just didn’t want to see it. But he had seen her despair the instant he’d first seen her at dinner with his family. Waiting for his next mission and for Vergere to be released from debriefing might take a while, so for now, Tahiri would be his next assignment. It was the least he could do for his little brother.
“Okay,” he finally muttered, “but when you are ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen. That’s a promise.” He rose to leave and took a few steps toward her. “Anakin loved you, Tahiri. He would want you to live.”
She stared up at him in shock. He smiled reassuringly and then turned to go.
“Goodnight.”
And just like that, Jacen was gone as quickly as he’d come.
For a few moments, Tahiri sat there simply staring at her door, the numbness of the last year struggling to survive. Then the last words he had uttered settled into her mind and then her heart demolishing all of the walls she’d worked so hard to build. The tears came slowly first, but soon the dam collapsed and so did she. With a moan of anguish, Tahiri threw herself into her pillows and sobbed. The pain was fresh, just like it was the moment she knew Anakin was gone back at Myrkr. All of those horrible images flashed repeatedly in her mind along with all of the good memories she’d almost forgotten, each of them eliciting a wail and a new round of tears.
Time passed, but Tahiri didn’t notice. She cried until it was physically impossible for another tear to be shed. Her eyes burned and her heart ached, but somehow she eventually drifted off to sleep.
It was the sweetest slumber she’d had since the day her life with Anakin had ended.
-----signature-----
Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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val solo
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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You Get Me—Chapter 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jacen found his twin sister right where he guessed she would be--- in a flight simulator. He alerted her through the Force that he wanted to speak with her as soon as she finished her latest practice run.
Sure thing, bro, she shot back to him right before blasting through the three remaining coralskippers on her screen. Soon enough the cockpit popped open and Jaina Solo hoisted her petite frame out, landing gracefully on the deck. As she pulled off her helmet, Jacen noticed how disheveled her hair was and chuckled. She never was one to bother with her appearance, and she didn’t need to. Her innate cuteness and air of unflappable confidence still managed to turn a few heads even if a few hairs were out of place.
Once she drew nearer, however, he noticed something different. Even though they had just celebrated their twentieth Lifeday, the lines around Jaina’s eyes made her look nearly ten years older. Both of them had experienced enough life for a fifty year old in less than half the time. Immediately, he wondered how old he looked, and his hand shot up to rub the scraggly beard on his chin. For the last year in captivity with the Yuuzhan Vong, Jacen hadn’t paid much heed to his looks. The last thing a Vong wanted to accomplish was to look ‘attractive’, so mirrors and personal grooming products were nonexistent. However, one of the first things he had done once he returned was to take an extremely long, extremely hot shower. Cleanliness was a good thing even though he could probably do with a shave.
“I agree,” Jaina stated as she walked up to him grinning, “you do need to shave. You’re beginning to bear a striking resemblance to a scruffy looking nerfherder.”
“Funny,” he muttered flatly trying not to smile back.
“I can’t help it. I was born this way,” she added jokingly. “So, what’s up? What did you need to talk to me about?” She slid her arm through his, and he patted her hand. It felt good to have her next to him, his other half.
“How much time do you have?” he asked. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“For you, dear brother, I have all the time in the world.” Although she said it teasingly, he knew she was being truthful. Finding one another again had brought them both closer than they’d ever been before.
The last few weeks hadn’t given them much alone time. Jaina and her squadron had been sent on a short mission, and Jacen had split his time between debriefing meetings with officials, visiting Vergere, and spending time with his parents. Leia couldn’t seem to hug him enough, as if constantly reassuring herself that he was indeed alive and well.
Jaina offered her room, and they set off arm in arm. Jacen mentally sorted through the list of topics he’d written in his mind. It was overwhelming, so he just picked a starting point.
“Um, how about Jag Fel?” he began. Jaina nudged her elbow into his side. “Ow! That wasn’t necessary,” he scolded. “So, it’s true? You two are an item?”
He noticed the faintest blush on her cheeks and knew the answer before she spoke it. “I guess,” she acquiesced. “At least I think so. He’s kind of hard to read sometimes.”
“Has he kissed you?” Jacen continued as he studied her reddening face. She wouldn’t look at him or say anything. “Well, your silence has answered that question.”
“Next topic of conversation.”
Jacen snickered and received another elbow in his ribs. “Okay! Okay!” he surrendered. “No more teasing you about your new boyfriend. Tell me about Anakin’s funeral.” The lighthearted mood instantly vanished. Jaina glanced up at her brother, now taller than just a year ago, and struggled to hold back the tears forming in her large brown eyes.
“I—I don’t remember much,” she admitted, hanging her head. “That was a bad time for me.” They had reached her room and went inside. Jaina proceeded to tell Jacen of her near fall to the dark side after Anakin’s death while he listened intently holding her hand and offering a hug every now and then.
“So, Kyp helped to pull you back?” he finally asked when she finished her story. “Kyp Durron?”
Through a sniffle, Jacen heard a chuckle. Apparently, he wasn’t the first one to question the accuracy of her story.
“Yeah, it was Kyp. He’s actually been really great through all of this, believe it or not. The war has changed him… it’s changed all of us.”
“Very true… very true,” he added wistfully.
“Well, there’s the lowdown on my big adventure. What about yours? What happened while you were gone?”
Jacen breathed in deeply and held it for a few seconds as he pondered her question. Slapping his knees, he exhaled and tried to figure out where to begin.
“It started in a bubble…” For the next two hours, Jaina sat enthralled by all that her brother told her, not knowing that he had withheld some of the more disturbing details. At some points she wept. At others she felt the rage swell up within her at the thought of all her brother had endured. When he finally finished, she sat speechless unable to move.
“Jace,” her voice began to break, “I’m… I’m so sorry.” She threw her arms around her brother and cried--- for his pain, for her pain, and for the pain both knew was yet to come.
“It’s going to be okay, Jaya,” he soothed as he held his sister to him and smoothed her hair back. “Whatever happens… it’s going to be okay. We can do this. We can do whatever it takes. That’s what Anakin knew, and it’s what Ganner figured out in the end.”
Jaina’s giggle was muffled in her brother’s embrace. “Ganner,” she chuckled. “Did Vergere really have a vision that he would be remembered as some giant hero?--- ‘the’ Ganner?” She pulled away and wiped her tears with her shirtsleeve.
Jacen snickered lightly. “Yeah. Can you believe it?” She grinned widely as she shook her head from side to side.
“Not really,” she admitted.
“I know how you feel, but what he did… it saved my life. Ganner is a hero, just like he always wanted.”
Again a serious tone settled between them, and a few awkward moments of silence passed before Jacen spoke again. “What about Tahiri?” he asked. “How has she been?”
“Tahiri?” Jaina replied and then shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”
“You guess?” Jacen arched an eyebrow. “Does she talk to you?”
“Not really,” Jaina admitted, “but then I’m not around much. She seems okay though. It’s not like she’s still bursting into tears at the mere mention of Anakin’s name like she did for a while there. She was a mess for about a month or so, just like the rest of us. Now, though, she acts fine.”
“Hmm…,” Jacen mumbled, deep in thought.
“What’s that mean?”
“Just thinking. I’m a little worried about her. I’m sensing something’s wrong, but I don’t think she’d let on if there were. Anakin was her best friend. They were inseparable. Heck, she was almost like a part of our family. If she’s not bonding with anyone else, well… that concerns me.”
Jaina narrowed her gaze. “What are you going to do?”
“Just... be available,” he explained. “Let her know she has a friend. We all need a good friend, and since everyone except me has duties right now, I figure that friend will be… me.”
Jaina snorted at his lopsided grin. “Lucky girl,” she teased before clobbering him with a pillow.
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Chapter 4--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was following her--- again.
It wasn’t that Tahiri could feel him approaching through the Force. No, it was simpler than that. She could hear his heavy footsteps as they padded up the corridor behind her. Sighing inwardly, she refused to stop, even when he called her name. Instead, she continued on into the dining hall wishing he’d just go away and leave her alone. For the past week he’d been practically stalking her. Every time she turned around, there he was… at meals, in the training room, even in the local library, a place she’d been using as a get away for the past few months. Life on the planet of Mon Calamari, the current capital of the Galactic Alliance, was too full of people. Studying in the library helped to balance out her life between the ruthless daily workouts she put herself through and the peaceful solitude she’d grown to crave ever since…
Ever since Anakin had died.
Increasing her pace, she managed to put more distance between herself and Jacen, enough so that he would have to push his way through several people to catch up with her in the food service line. Taking a tray, she hurriedly made her way down the line, taking fewer items than she normally would have. Curiosity got the best of her, and she couldn’t resist a quick glance to see if he was still in pursuit. Peering around the Mon Cal beside her, she was met by the smiling face of Jacen Solo five people down the line. He offered her a friendly little wave, and she snapped her gaze away with a jerk.
She sighed again, annoyed at his undaunting persistence, yet strangely amused at the same time--- something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Surely, he had better things to do than baby-sit her, and it was clear that’s exactly what he was doing. Until he had returned, she had been able to stay under everyone else’s radar, making them believe she was well over Anakin’s passing. She had nearly convinced herself that she was okay, too, until Jacen showed up. He had some kind of second sense about her inner workings, and he was just enough like his younger brother to bring the memories flooding back, and with it, the pain.
Quickly, she paid the cashier droid and proceeded to find a seat at an empty table in the large, open eating area. Glancing up at the transparent ceiling, she still felt queasy every time she came here. It didn’t seem natural for a girl from the dry, sandy planet of Tatooine to be eating under water. Luckly, most of the time she didn’t have to think about being submerged under the ocean, but here the ceiling of the dining hall was made of a transparisteel dome so that diners could enjoy the view of Mon Cal’s wide variety of marine life.
With a shudder, she returned to the food on her plate.
“Credit for your thoughts,” Jacen offered as he slipped into the seat across from Tahiri. She glanced up to find the Jedi smiling warmly at her. It was amazing how grown up he looked now, she noted.
“No thoughts,” she replied and then stabbed a fork into something fishy and pink. Avoiding eye contact with him was a necessity. He was way too perceptive for her comfort.
“Oh, I don’t believe that,” he argued. “Why, there’s steam coming out of your ears from all the brain activity happening inside your head.”
Tahiri simply glowered at him. Did she dare tell him the steam was a result of the anger at being followed around all the time?
“Now, that’s not a very happy face, Tahiri. Did I say the wrong thing?” Jacen was trying the innocent act she’d seen his father try so often on his mother… and it was extremely annoying. She sat her fork down and took a deep breath.
“Look , Jacen,” she began, “I know what you’re doing, and really, you don’t have to bother.”
His smile was gone, a more serious expression taking its place, and suddenly she sensed waves of strength rolling off of him. “And what exactly am I doing that I don’t have to do?”
So, he was going to do this the hard way.
Tahiri sighed heavily and gathered her thoughts. “You’re baby-sitting me. Every time I turn around, you’re right there, following me like I’m not capable of taking care of myself. I’m surprised you haven’t jumped out of my refresher yet!”
Jacen covered his mouth and tried to stifle a chuckle, which only served to irritate the young blond even more.
“I’m not a kid anymore, Jacen. I don’t need to be looked after like a child.”
He straightened in his chair and wiped the smile off of his face. “You’re right, Tahiri. You’re not a kid, and truly, I wasn’t trying to act like your baby-sitter. I’m just concerned about you, that’s all. You’re part of our family, and---.”
“No, I’m not,” she interrupted firmly. “I’m not part of your family.”
Jacen instantly felt the pain behind her words, words that really said, “I could have been a part… before Anakin died, but not now.” At that moment, he knew that his suspicions had been correct. Tahiri hadn’t worked through her grief. Not at all. And keeping all of that bitterness bottled up inside would only lead her down a path she’d later regret.
“Well, whether you think you are or not, the rest of us look at you as one of us. We all care about you and want you to be happy.”
Tahiri laughed out loud and the coldness of it sent a chill down Jacen’s spine. “Happy?” she asked unable to hide her frustration. “Happy?! And how would you suggest I do that, oh wise one?” She snorted and shook her head. “You have no idea.”
Jacen’s hand shot out and covered one of hers. “Yes, I do know. And if you let me, I could help you.”
Tahiri pulled her hand out from underneath his large one and thrust her chin in the air. “I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly fine.”
Jacen held her gaze for a few silent moments, studying her face, especially her eyes. He could see them begin to glisten with tears, which she was fighting bravely to prevent. She wasn’t yet ready to let it all go, and so Jacen relented.
“Tahiri, you’re not fine. You and I both know it.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to stop her. “I know you’re in pain from all that’s happened--- your capture by the Vong, Anakin’s death…” He noticed a tear escape and trickle lazily down her cheek at the mention of his brother’s name and almost stopped. But it would do her no good if he gave up now. “I’ve experienced those same things and more, but I’ve learned that holding on to that pain won’t do you any good. You’ve got to learn to deal with it, get over it, and move on to make yourself a better person or else it was all for naught.”
He stood to go and she refused to look at him. “When you’re ready to stop suffering, I’ll be here to help. All you have to do is ask.” He waited for just a second, hoping she’d respond, but instead she stared blankly out the wall at a passing fish.
Then he turned and left her more alone than she’d been in months.
-----signature-----
Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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SpacedOutAnna
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Aug '02
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:09pm
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Aw......... that post is so SAD. Jacen is such a sweetie tho. More soon!
Anna
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Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side and light side and holds the universe together.
Check my bio for my fics! (LIGHTNING STRIKES!! A DAY OF RAIN!!! and RIPPLES IN THE FORCE!!!!)
Queen's University student. Go Gaels! Chageill!
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val solo
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:11pm
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Chapter 5--
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The next few days passed by and Tahiri saw no trace of Jacen anywhere. However, instead of feeling relieved, she was surprised to feel a little miffed. Deciding he must not have been as concerned about her as he implied, Tahiri slunk back into her usual routine. After a restless night’s sleep, she’d get up early, shower, go to the training room and push herself past the point of all sensibility, clean up, grab some breakfast and then head to the library for some peace and quiet. Most evenings she’d spend alone in her room or sometimes strolling around the city.
One afternoon after she returned from the library, a message was waiting for her from Jaina Solo. She wanted to get together for dinner and just catch up since she had been gone on a mission for several days with Twin Suns Squadron. Tahiri accepted. The company would be nice for a change, and besides… she had to eat anyway.
They met in a small café Jaina had heard about from another pilot, and Tahiri was pleased to find the place did not serve any seafood whatsoever.
“If I have to eat one more piece of fish, I think I’ll throw up!” she exclaimed as she and Jaina were led to a small table.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m dying to have a good nerf steak, and this place is supposed to have the best.”
They settled in and took a look at the menu. In just a few moments, the waiter returned to take their order and bring them drinks. Tahiri realized as she sipped her beverage that Jaina was staring at her.
Jaina plopped her elbows on the table and asked bluntly, “Are you okay?”
A bit taken aback, it took Tahiri a few seconds to answer. “I’m—I’m fine.”
Jaina scrutinized the younger girl’s response, trying to get a good read on her. “Are you sure?”
“Jaina, I’m fine, really. Why--- why do you ask?”
Jaina sighed and leaned back in her chair shaking her head. “I don’t know. It’s just that Jacen has it in his head that you might not be… you know… over Anakin.”
Tahiri froze and her heart lodged instantly in her throat. When would it stop hurting so badly every time she heard that name?
“I’m sorry, Tahiri,” Jaina offered. “I didn’t mean to upset you, which I’ve apparently done a bang up job of. Jacen’s just worried about you. You’re almost like a sister to us, you know, and we just want you to be okay.” Jaina took Tahiri’s silence as the end of that conversation and decided to start a new one. “All right. Enough of that. Do you want to hear about my last mission?”
Tahiri nodded her head and smiled weakly encouraging Jaina to continue, which she eagerly did. After a few minutes of Jaina’s story, Tahiri tuned her out and began thinking about what Jaina had said about Jacen. Why was he so concerned about her? Why couldn’t he just leave her alone like everyone else had done? He was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, and now it seemed he was bringing Jaina into it as well. Would he never be out of her life?
“… and then Jag and I shot down the whole squadron of coralskippers and…” Jaina continued to ramble, and Tahiri continued to nod every once in a while. But if the truth were told, she couldn’t wait to get back to her room away from other people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dinner was not as good as she had hoped. Perhaps it was the pre-meal conversation that had embittered the taste. The rest of the night was a bit strained, at least on Tahiri’s end. She wasn’t sure if Jaina even sensed her discomfort or not, she was so absorbed in sharing the latest relationship news between herself and Jagged Fel. Tahiri thought he was a little dry and stuffy, but he seemed to make Jaina happy which was all that really mattered she supposed.
She turned out her lights and crawled into bed, burrowing under the covers. After growing up on a desert planet with two suns, every other place seemed too cold for her liking. Using the Force, she tried to calm herself and stop thinking about dinner and Jacen… and Anakin.
Anakin. He was always somewhere in there, hiding out in the back of her mind and corners of her heart. It wouldn’t take much of a trigger to shoot him to the forefront either. At first, the good memories came… when they first met… when he came to rescue her from Yavin 4… when he kissed her in the locker for the first time. But as her mind cycled through the good reminisces, her heart would start to constrict because she knew what the next image would be. There he was fighting the Vong in order to protect the rest of the strike team, and then… then he was just gone, his body merely an empty shell.
She tried to stop herself, but the tears came anyway just like they always did, her only consolation being the fact that no one else could see her like this.
Some time later, she wasn’t sure how long; she felt a light touch against her cheek and brushed it away. It came again, almost like a whisper in her ear and she flopped over to her other side.
“Tahiri.”
She paused to listen without opening her eyes.
Silence.
She snuggled back into her pillow and let her mind begin to drift back to sleep.
“Tahiri.”
Her eyes popped open. Did I just hear my name? she wondered as she lay frozen in her bed.
“Are you going to wake up?”
That voice!
She sat bolt upright and gasped. Sitting at the end of her bed was Anakin--- or was it? He was smiling at her, his brown hair hanging down in front of his eyes like it always did, but something was different. All around him, an ethereal blue aura shimmered making him appear otherworldly. Was he real? She had had so many dreams over the past year that she didn’t know the difference anymore.
“Anakin?” she asked warily.
“Have you forgotten what I looked like already?” he responded with a grin.
“Anakin? Are you real?” she asked again reaching out as if to touch him, her heart racing with the possibilities.
“Yes,” he answered, “and no.”
“What do you mean?”
He stood and walked over to her small desk. “I mean exactly what I say.”
“Well, that really clears things up for me,” she retorted, and he chuckled.
“Still got your sense of humor. That’s good.”
Now Tahiri stood up, still hesitant to get too close afraid if she touched him he’d suddenly disappear. For a dream, this was the most realistic one she’d had so far and she didn’t want it to end. “Anakin,” she ventured, “what--- what are you doing here? And how did you get here? Aren’t you… dead?"
“I have something to show you,” he stated moving toward her door. “Come with me.”
She narrowed her gaze suspiciously. “Where?”
Anakin smiled. “Just come with me, Tahiri.” He motioned for her to follow. Then he waved his hand, opening the door magically, and took off down the corridor. She paused for just a moment wondering whether to play along with this vision or simply crawl back into bed and pull the covers over her head.
She decided to follow.
Anakin, if indeed it was he or his ghost, was already at the end of the hall. “Hurry up, slow poke!” he goaded. “I have something important to show you.”
He led her through several dimly lit corridors, and she was concentrating so hard on keeping up with Anakin that she soon realized she had no idea where she was anymore. “Anakin, where are you taking me?”
“So many questions,” he called back over his shoulder. “Just trust me. It’s for your own good.”
He picked up the pace and she had to break into a trot to keep up with him. After a few more minutes of travel in which she strangely passed no one else, he stopped in front of a door. “Here we are,” he announced. Then the door slid open and he walked inside. Tahiri paused and peered into the room. It was dark except for the light emanating from Anakin. “Come in.”
She looked up and down the hallway before stepping into the room. Anakin was standing there smiling at her, his arms crossed against his chest. She couldn’t see anything unless it was in his immediate vicinity, so she walked straight toward him. Just as she stepped to within inches of him, his image began to dissipate, breaking into millions of tiny shards of light, and then he was gone.
“Nooooo!!” she cried falling to her knees.
“Tahiri?”
Ignoring the voice, she sobbed uncontrollably into her hands, not even noticing the strong arms that moved to embrace her.
“Tahiri? What--- what are you doing here?” Her hands were pulled away from her face and she looked up into the eyes of someone familiar.
“Jacen?” she choked out in between sobs. “He was here. He was right here!” she sputtered before breaking down again. Jacen pulled her tightly against his chest, rocking her back and forth.
“It’s going to be okay, Tahiri,” he assured her. “You’re going to be okay. I promise. I promise.”
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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val solo
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:13pm
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Chapter 5— continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Now,” Jacen urged softly, smoothing back Tahiri’s short-cropped blond hair, “tell me what this is all about.”
Her body trembled as she tried to cease her crying, and he waited patiently for the sniffling to ebb. In a few moments, she pulled back and wiped her nose with a handkerchief Jacen had retrieved moments before from his small dresser.
“Thanks,” she muttered with a small smile. She situated her legs into a crossed position on the floor in front of Jacen, and he did the same. She remained quiet and simply stared down at her hands lying in her lap.
“Tahiri,” Jacen tried again, “I think I deserve to know how you ended up here in my room crying your eyes out in the middle of the night, don’t you?”
Daring a glance up into his face, she instantly felt like a little child who was caught trying to hide a secret. His brown eyes bored into hers until she knew she would have to answer him.
“I—I saw him. He led me here,” she said.
“Who? Who led you here?”
She swallowed hard and stared at him knowing he’d never believe her. Oh, well, she decided, here it goes anyway.
“Anakin,” she stated plainly. She waited for the shock and disbelief to erupt into a mocking laugh, but it never happened. Instead Jacen’s face morphed into a very serious scowl as he sincerely contemplated her response.
“What exactly do you mean-- ‘Anakin’?” he questioned.
Did he actually believe her?
“Um, I saw Anakin in my room. He—he woke me up, and then he brought me… here.”
Jacen looked around the room; the serious look still etched on his face, as if searching for any sign of his younger brother. “Tell me exactly what you saw.” For some reason, Tahiri didn’t hesitate to explain all that had occurred.
“He looked real… solid, you know? But there was this blue light surrounding him, so I don’t know if he was actually there in front of me. I don’t know, maybe I was just dreaming again, hoping that he was coming back.” She paused and looked up at Jacen. He was listening intently to her every word, no sign of disbelief yet evident on his face.
“Did he say anything to you? Anything at all?”
She hesitated for a moment before nodding her head. “I asked him if he was real and he said ‘yes and no’. Then he told me he had something to show me, something that was for my own good. Next thing I know, I’m here, in your room, and he just… just disappeared.” A lump formed instantly in her throat as she fought back another round of tears desperate to escape.
Jacen grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, reassuring her with a warm smile. “Am I going crazy, Jacen?” she asked wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.
“No, no,” he said squeezing her hand more tightly. “You’re not crazy, Tahiri, not unless I’m crazy, too.”
“What do you mean? Did you see him?” she questioned anxiously.
“Not just now, but I have seen him before… on Coruscant.”
“You did?”
“More than once, as a matter of fact,” he added.
“Was he real? When you saw him, was he for real?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes… and no,” he chuckled. “He was real to me at that particular moment, but was he real like we are?” He sighed deeply. “Not exactly.”
Tahiri pulled her hand from Jacen’s and shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand. Why? How?”
“I don’t know how,” Jacen attempted to explain. “I have no idea how it is possible, other than the fact that Uncle Luke was able to see his father, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Yoda even after they were dead to this life. Perhaps that is what we saw… a Force vision.
“The why,” he pondered, “actually, I might have a theory on that… if you’d care to listen.”
Tahiri nodded in agreement. “Okay.”
Jacen shifted to get more comfortable and then started to share his hypothesis. He knew she might not like what he had to say.
“If it was really Anakin, maybe his appearing to us was truly for our own good. When I saw him on Coruscant, I was ready to give up hope. Seeing him gave me the push I needed to keep living. Perhaps he’s still looking out for you from wherever he is, and his appearance was to give you the push you need to move on. Or maybe he was just a manifestation of what is in our own hearts… our own deep desires taking shape, telling us what we already know to be true and necessary. Either way, the purpose is the same. It’s time to let go, Tahiri.”
She frowned and bowed her head, biting back the flash of anger engulfing her upon hearing Jacen’s words. How dare he tell her to let go!
“I know you don’t want to hear that message, do you?” he asked. She raised her head and glared at him. He continued. “But you need to hear it. You might have fooled everyone else into thinking you’ve gotten past Anakin’s death, but you can’t fool me. I’ve been in the same position, been through many similar experiences that you have, and I learned the hard way that you have to go on. Acknowledge the pain, accept the pain, and then put it behind you. He’s gone, Tahiri, and he’s not coming back.”
She jumped up and took a defiant stance. “Don’t even!! You have no idea how I feel! You don’t know me, and you don’t understand what Anakin and I had! You couldn’t! You’ve never loved someone like I love him!”
She was shouting and crying at the same time, lashing out at Jacen, not realizing she was really fighting her own pain. He stood up and took a step toward her, offering her his hand in an attempt to calm her down. She jerked away, fire flashing in her green eyes.
“Don’t touch me! And how dare you tell me to forget about him! He was your brother, for Force sake! How can you say such a thing?!” Jacen simply let her go on, knowing it was exactly what she needed to do. “I won’t forget about him! I won’t give up, and I won’t go on.” Her heated tirade quickly lost steam and her shoulders slumped. “I can’t,” she admitted softly, “I can’t go on, Jacen. I don’t know how.” She looked up at him, tears once again filling her eyes, and he swiftly took her back into his arms offering the comfort she so desperately craved.
Burying her head into his strong chest, she sobbed weakly, wrapping her arms around his waist. He held her tightly, transferring a rush of peace to her through the Force. In a few moments, she began to calm, but wasn’t in a hurry to leave his arms. It was a safe haven she hadn’t known she desired. Finally, he spoke.
“Let me help you, Tahiri,” he offered sincerely.
She sniffed and stepped back. Looking up into his face, she found she could fight the pain alone no longer. He was right. It was time to move on. Tahiri nodded only once.
“Okay,” she answered quietly. “Help me.”
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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val solo
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:16pm
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RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jacen Solo braced his arm against the wall of the shower and let the steamy, hot water cascade over his tired body. The heat and pressure helped relieve some of the tension that had built up in his muscles. The night had been a long one, and he replayed its events over in his mind again.
He’d gone to bed at a normal time, had no trouble getting to sleep. Then as if appearing from nowhere, Tahiri had woken him with a cry. How she had gotten into his locked room was still a mystery unless he chose to believe her story about Anakin’s ghostly apparition. And he did believe her. One look at her and no one could doubt her sincerity that she in deed did see Anakin Solo.
Broken, she had fallen into Jacen’s arms, crying until she could cry no more, finally admitting she needed help to work through her grief. It had been a breakthrough, one he welcomed without hesitation.
They talked for a while longer until she could barely keep her eyes open.
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep,” Jacen suggested with his arm around her shoulders. “We can continue tomorrow when we’re both a little more rested.”
“No!” she protested, shocking him with her firm reply. “I mean I’m okay. I don’t need any sleep.”
Jacen chuckled. “Tahiri, you’re ready to fall down right this very minute. You need some rest, and I’m not taking no for an answer,” he asserted.
She paused to glare at him and then plopped down on his bed in surrender. Glancing up at him, she looked like a frightened little child. “Jacen, I’m—I’m scared. I’m afraid to go back there… afraid to sleep. Sometimes my dreams are, well, I just don’t want to go.”
Jacen stood there and studied her weary face, so young and yet so old, and his heart yearned to comfort her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her, he took her hand in his. “Okay. You don’t have to go. You can stay here, but you have to rest.” He cut off her argument before she could get a word out of her mouth. “I’ll help you sleep. How does that sound?”
Slowly, she nodded her head. “Okay.”
“All right then. Why don’t you lie back on the pillow and close your eyes.”
She shot him a suspicious look and he laughed. “Trust me. This will work.”
She did as he ordered even though it felt a bit strange having his brother’s girlfriend lying in his bed. However, her fear of returning to her room alone and to the recurring nightmares she often must have far outweighed any apprehension she felt. Jacen scooted up along the edge to be closer to her.
“Now, try to relax and don’t block me out. You’ve got to work with me for this to be successful.” She flinched when Jacen’s fingertips touched her temples, but she forced herself to do as he asked. “Take slow even breaths,” he said softly, “and just focus on resting.”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing herself to calm. The feel of her face was surprisingly soft to his touch, and the last thing she said was, “I don’t know if this is going to work.”
Well, that didn’t take long, he thought. Now to ensure that she’d be able to sleep in peace.
Jacen closed his own eyes and breathed in deeply as he delved into her mind. At first, he encountered a bit of resistance until he offered a reassuring brush through the Force. As he purged deeper into her thoughts, he found things he had expected would exist: sadness over Anakin’s death, anger at the Yuuzhan Vong for their attempted shaping of her, fear of it all happening again. He saw flashes of her memories from childhood with the Tusken Raiders, when she first went to the Jedi Academy, when she first met Anakin. With each memory, he also felt the emotions that were so securely tethered to each one. It was as if he was watching her life play out like a holovid in his own mind.
He braced himself as the scenes escalated toward what was surely the climax of her life… Anakin’s death. He ‘watched’ as she and Anakin escaped the enemy on Yavin 4 after her horrible capture by the Vong shapers. Jacen felt her confusion as she struggled to rediscover her true self amidst the many false memories that had been implanted in her mind. He felt her hatred as she swiftly and effectively decapitated the enemy culprit who had stolen her mental innocence.
Next, came a respite from the negative emotions as Jacen saw images of his own brother flash before him from her mind. He could feel the happiness, the concern, the love the two shared, and it nearly overwhelmed him when her thoughts jumped immediately to when she had last seen Anakin alive. His heart was sick with grief upon reliving that awful event, and he didn’t know if it was only coming from her or also mingling with his own pain. Either way, this was ground zero—the main leash holding her back from the future that could be. Here is where he would focus his efforts.
Jacen used the Force to extract some of her pain and bear it upon himself. It wouldn’t be gone forever. No, she would still have to work through all of her issues, but at least he could give her several hours of peace from her turmoil. He felt his shoulders begin to tense from the weight of her sorrow, and yet he continued. He would do this for her… for his brother.
Suddenly, he jerked his hands away from Tahiri’s face and jumped up from the bedside, his heart pounding wildly. The last few thoughts he had ‘viewed’ had been quite unexpected. At first it had been a feeling of utter contentment coming from her memories of Anakin and the few kisses they had shared. Jacen almost felt like an intruder upon such private thoughts, but didn’t really have time to because the next memory shocked him beyond his imaginings.
‘I hate him,’ Tahiri thought.
She didn’t even have to say a name. Somehow Jacen knew it was he she was directing her anger toward. To know she felt so strongly against him was a bit sobering, and he needed to contemplate how to handle it. As he inhaled deeply again another thought sprang into his mind, only this one was his own memory and not Tahiri’s.
‘Take her, Jacen,’ Anakin had said. ‘Kiss Tahiri for me.’
How could I have forgotten? Jacen wondered as his gaze traveled back to the sleeping form on his bed. Amid all of the chaos of that terrible time, the memory of his brother’s last request had been lost-- until now. The truth was, Anakin’s words left him more shaken than Tahiri’s. He knew she was just lashing out because of her pain and obviously was already getting past that feeling by letting him help her. However, his little brother’s words were an all-together different story.
Jacen paced back and forth along his bedside, stopping intermittently to glance back at Tahiri. She looked so peaceful, her long lashes gracing her unblemished cheeks. For the first time she didn’t look like just another kid. Knowing now all she’d gone through in her life, Jacen would never see her in the same way again.
He flipped off the water switch and shook out his wet hair. He stepped out of the stall and grabbed a dry towel, his mind still reeling from the night's experience. He pulled on his pants and walked back into the bedroom to retrieve his shirt when he noticed Tahiri stirring on the bed. Slowly, her eyes opened and she propped herself up on her elbows.
“Good morning,” Jacen offered as he slipped his shirt over his head and stretched it into place. “Did you sleep well?” he asked with a friendly smile.
“What time is it?” she muttered sleepily.
“Morning,” he answered, walking over to his window and raising the blind to let the sun in. She shielded her eyes and groaned. “Not a morning person, huh?”
“Not really,” she admitted. She threw back the cover, slung her legs over the side of the bed, then stood and stretched out the kinks in her neck. “Did you get any sleep?”
“A little,” Jacen said glancing down to the rumpled blanket and pillow lying in the floor. “You hungry? Why don’t we go get some breakfast?”
Tahiri frowned as her hand came up to her disheveled head. “I think I need to clean up first.”
“Sure. I’ll walk you back to your room, if you like. You can get a shower and then we’ll get something to eat before we start.”
Her eyebrow lifted in confusion. “Start? Start what?”
“Working through this pain together,” Jacen explained. “I said I’d help, and I won’t go back on my word.”
She blushed and looked away. “Oh, that,” she mumbled. “You know, I think I feel fine now, Jacen. And surely you have something better to do with your time than spend it worrying about me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He moved in close beside her and placed his hand on her back. “Now, time’s wasting so let’s go.”
She smiled slightly and he followed her out the door. ‘This should be an interesting day,’ he thought. As he watched her walking ahead of him, Anakin’s words kept repeating in his mind.
‘Take her, Jacen. Kiss Tahiri for me.’
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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val solo
Registered:
Jun '00
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:20pm
Subject:
RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the first time in a long time, Tahiri was actually looking forward to a new day. She felt like she had been drifting in some kind of emotional limbo for so long that this glimmer of hope was like a drop of water to her thirsty soul. It wasn’t that she expected Jacen Solo to work a miracle for her, but just the idea that he was taking time out for her helped to ease some of the pain she’d been wallowing in for the past year.
Looking around her room now made last night’s ‘visit’ by Anakin’s ghost seem like it never happened.
Ghost?--- Is that what he had been? Or was it as Jacen said?—a manifestation of her own heart’s needs and desires. She chuckled and shook her head. If it was her own desires, then why in the world did she lead herself to Jacen?
Her eyes shot to the door. Jacen was waiting patiently on the other side, ready to begin—but begin what exactly, Tahiri had no clue. Part of her was frightened, unwilling to confront the very pain she’d been clinging to, while another part of her—one that had been forced to hide since the entrance of the Vong into her life—was anxious at the prospect of the unknown and unpredictable future.
Quickly, she jumped in the shower; then hurriedly dressed in a pair of black pants and a tan-colored tank. Glancing only briefly in the mirror to ruffle her still damp hair into place over her Vong mark, she grabbed a jacket and left the room. When the door opened, she found Jacen leaning against the wall, his eyes closed and a peaceful look on his face. A tiny grin escaped his lips.
“That was fast,” he stated, opening his eyes and standing up straight.
“Were you sleeping?” Tahiri asked.
“No, no—just meditating while I had the chance,” he explained. “I find the older I get, the more I need it.”
Tahiri laughed out loud. “Oh, yeah, you’re so old, Jacen Solo.”
His grin widened but then the expression on his face grew more serious. “Maybe not chronologically, but I think we’re both mature beyond our years. Don’t you?”
“Um,” the statement took her by surprise and she stammered out a response. “I guess you’re right.”
Jacen sensed her uneasiness and knew he needed to take it slow. Tahiri tried to put forth a tough front, but he knew deep inside she was as fragile as a delicate shadowmoth.
“You hungry? Because I’m starving!” he exclaimed. His move worked. He felt the tension leave her as she smiled and nodded her head in agreement. “Great! I know this neat little place…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breakfast had been delicious. It was as if her taste buds had awakened from a long hibernation. Every bite tasted better than the one before it.
Jacen had taken control of the conversation, a fact she appreciated. The topic eventually turned to Anakin, which Tahiri had expected would happen sooner or later. However, after the initial stab of pain in her gut, it gradually ebbed away, partly due to the stories Jacen was sharing. They were all good memories he had of his younger brother while they were growing up. Tales of trouble they had either caused or found themselves smack dab in the middle of—stories of their relentless aggravation of poor C3PO, of teasing Jaina until she ran to their parents crying. Jacen quickly added that it didn’t take long for their sister to figure out all the advantages of being ‘daddy’s little princess’.
“My rear end still smarts from those memories,” he admitted with a chuckle. “Dad always did like her best.” He was rewarded with Tahiri’s laughter from across the table.
“I didn’t realize he was such a little troublemaker,” she said.
“Yeah, well, I was usually the brains behind the mayhem. He usually just came along for the ride.”
Tahiri grew silent and Jacen was afraid she was going to block him out. Then she surprised him.
“He looked up to you, you know,” she said looking him straight in the eye. Those were words he hadn’t expected to hear. Jacen was speechless as he gazed into her bright green eyes. Funny how he’d never noticed quite how green they were before now. “It’s true,” she continued. “He used to tell me about how he couldn’t wait until he could be off doing great things like you. I know you had some problems with each other right before--- right before he… died--- but, he still loved you.”
“I—I know he did,” Jacen replied, “and I loved him, too. Thank you, though, for reminding me how much.” Now Tahiri was at a loss for words, so Jacen continued. “Tahiri, you knew a side of Anakin that I didn’t. I hope that you’ll share some of your memories of him with me someday… when you’re ready.”
She offered a quick little grin and then returned her attention to the food on her plate. Jacen took another bite of his breakfast and contemplated his next move.
“I’d like you to show me what you do every day,” he stated after swallowing.
Tahiri pushed her plate away and smirked at him. “Shouldn’t you know that already seeing as how you were spying on me just a few days ago?”
He snickered. “Good point,” he conceded. “But this time I won’t be skulking around in the shadows.”
Again, she laughed out loud, and he found he liked to see her smiling. Her whole face seemed to light up, and he could see why his brother had been attracted to her. She was pretty, in a sweet and natural kind of way… really cute.
“Okay,” she agreed. “But only if you can keep up with my busy routine. First up is a workout.” She stood up and looked down at him in his chair. “Ready to sweat?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry it's so short!  Spring break is coming up soon, so hopefully I can get a lot more writing done.
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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Jedi_Jaina_Durron
Registered:
Dec '01
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:40pm
Subject:
RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Yay! First post for me, and a new post from you, val! Wonderful!
You're just now having spring break? I hate you!  We had ours like two or three weeks ago...and right now they're loading us down with homework...which I haven't done yet. *sigh* And I have to finish a book tonight to write a report on it tomorrow for English class. Well, that's high school for you.
Anyways, I'm sure you're looking forward to your (I'm sure well-needed) break!
Wonderful postie! I'm liking their interaction. It's very natural, and I think that's right for them. They can tease and talk about serious things, too. That's good to see. Tahiri laughed out loud. “Oh, yeah, you’re so old, Jacen Solo.” That's exactly what I was thinking when he said that! 
Very, very nice!
Is it too soon to ask for more? (It probably is, and that's okay, I had to say it anyways )
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“Jacen, never stop asking questions." -Luke  "The vaping lines keep moving." - Kyp "Fiction confronts you with the awesome fact that you are not the only real thing in this world." --Zadie Smith
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Eowyn_Jade
Registered:
Jan '03
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 4:48pm
Subject:
RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Awwww!! Jacen thinks she's CUTE!! 
wonderful post Val ^_^
EJ
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"You guys are like ravenous wolves." -Devin
*~* Defying Gravity *~*
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NarundiJedi
Title: FF Chapter Rep Albany, NY
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 5:01pm
Subject:
RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Awwww, I love it val! I've been missing this fic, and I read through it all again before the last post.
I'm loving the whole "friends" dynamic between Jacen and Tahiri. I think it works better for them than it would for some. If I wasn't such a big fan of Anakin/Tahiri and if I wasn't convinced he was coming back, I'd definitely be converted. And wonderful writing as always.
Jae Angel
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Kill Brodey: Vol 1 - http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=17015774&replies=0 Helané, Handmaiden of the Crest Leli's Blonde Twin! I'm now Mrs. NJ! w00t!
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val solo
Registered:
Jun '00
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Date Posted:
4/15/03 6:23pm
Subject:
RE: ~*You Get Me*~- Jacen/Tahiri fic
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Oh, NJ! You're a resurrectionist? LOL! Well, I hope you enjoy this fic anyway.
I do see Jacen and Tahiri as starting out as friends first, too. Hopefully, I can make it believable.
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Check out my K/J fic--~*Absolutely Necessary*~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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Obi_Wans_love_child
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