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Author	Topic: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
Calayka_Bele Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 12/26/03 7:22am Subject: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Greetings everyone! It has been quite a while since I've posted anything on the boards, and this past week my fingers have been itching to write so the other day I sat down and this is what my mind came up with. I hope you all enjoy it! Disclaimer:All these characters belong to George Lucas and Del Ray. I own nothing and am making absolutely no money off this. Rated: G Genre: Romance/Angst Feedback: I love to get feedback from everyone, so please don't hestitate to give me feedback. Criticism - good or bad - is always appreciated! (It seemed to me that the first half of this fic was almost too descriptive, and the second half had too much dialogue, so let me know what you think.) Alright, now that the pleasantries are over, on with the story! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I do not know how to live without him. I simply can not do this alone." *** It had only been but a week since the death of the second jedi brother. He had held much promise in becoming one of the greatest warriors of his time, and quite possibly the savior of the New Republic. The Yuuzhan Vong invasion was still steadly underway, with more deaths being tolled every single day. Even with the desolate numbers forever arising, the forces and tactics of the New Republic continued to advance. And yet morale was low. Especially in the hearts of those who had lost a friend, a son, a brother, and a lover. Tenel Ka Djo walked aimlessly around on of the vast gardens surrounding the grande palace of the royal family of Hapes. The Dathomiri warrior gently ran the fingers of her only hand absent-mindedly across the petals of one exotically beautiful flowr. Her usually clear gray eyes were clouded with intense thought...and sadness. In fact, it had been quite a long time since such sadness had been expressed on her face. This was her favorite section of the palace gardens. IT had a more tranquil feel to it, and was far less decorated. Instead of being nearly packed to bursting with thousands of varieties of plants and flowers and sculptures, this one held only wildlife native to the planet of Yavin Four. Tenel Ka felt like this was the only place she oculd possibly find the balance that she so craved; that she truly needed. This garden was the closest thing she had to a home at the moment. While Tenel Ka had trained at the Jedi Academy, she had received far more than just the skills of a Jedi Knight, but a whole new level of freindship as well. The Solo twins, Lowbacca, and Zekk provided her with the type of friendship that most people only dream of, and along with those bonds came the first place Tenel Ka had ever truly felt at home. The bond of one particular individual had stood out the most. Through the many years and countless adventures they had survived, Jacen Solo and Tenel Ka had come to be far more than just close friends. The bond between them could not be easily severed, and although they had yet to truly admit it - to themselves or the outside world - their bond had transformed into one of compassion, trust, and above all else...love. As Tenel Ka wandered she tried with all she had to reach Jacen through the force. As with so many others, she had felt him die, and leave her to fight alone in the vast galaxy, but unlike the others, she had not yet been able to accept it. Jacen was her best friend, the one man in all the worlds who could see inside her very soul. She needed only to look into his deep, brown eyes, and no matter what the situation, she would instantly feel her heart soar. "I will always be fond of you...", Tenel Ka had told Jacen when on their final mission together. In fact, that had been their final quiet moment alone. And she had been unable to express herself adequately. Now it was too late; their chance had been violently ripped away from them in the curelest of fashions. Tenel Ka spoke aloud, "Jacen, I can not do this alone." Since the time of his passing, Tenel Ka had needed to focus on the tasks in front of her, namely securing the safety of her remaining friends, but now that all immediate danger had passed, she had only to think of herself. And of all she had lost. "Whatever favor is bestowed upon me, please pass on to him," Tenel Ka quietly pleaded. Tears began to well up in her stormy eyes as memories flooded her already troubled mind. They were memories bothe good and bad, and spanned her entire relationship with Jacen Solo. So much had occurred to pull Tenel Ka and Jacen apart, but somehow they had always managed to pull through. Tenel Ka could now see it was, most simply put, their equal stubborness, and of course the strong affection between them that had allowed for their survival. "You're my second half Jacen. You complete me." As her emotions intensified, it seemed the weight of the galaxy piled onto her shoulders, and unable to support such a weight, she sank down onto the soft ground. "Please Jacen, you can't be gone. I need you. More then I ever let you know." A lone tear trickled down her cheek, but Enel Ka quickly wiped it away. She couldn't let herself fall apart. The war was still being waged after all. And yet, the sheer desolation of the situation was too much. How could any being, human or otherwise, be expected to survive when they weren't complete? Tenel Ka could fight better tham most, she could stare down even the most intimidating opponent, she could do just about any task she set her mind to, but this was just too daunting. "I do not know how to live without him. I simply can not do this alone." Tenel Ka covered her face with her hand, trying to smother her tears. A great swell of the force suddenly began to swirl at her side, like a vacuum pulling all that was good into one place. It made no sound, but the sheer brilliant power of it was enough to call the Hapan princess's attention to the forming orb. Her eyes were red from her struggle to contain her tears. A voice originated at the center of the orb that was oddly familiar, "Please don't cry, Tenel Ka. I could never bare to see you in pain." Tenel Ka stared at the orb in complete shock as it continued to take a more defined shape. "Jac...Jacen? How is this possible?" The ghostly figure took one step forward and knelt down beside the lonely, lost girl. It looked to be translucent and unsolid, but then it reached forward and took the cold, and pale hand of the fallen warrior. A familiar lopsided grin graced the face of the spectrum. "You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" Tenel Ka looked down at the hand holding her own, and then to the face before her. "It can't be...I felt you fall. I felt you die." The ghostly figure of Jacen Solo winked at her. Everything about him was so familiar, but so foreign at the same time. "I couldn't just leave it like we did." Tenel Ka lunged forward and wrapped her arm tightly around his neck; without a thought he returned the gesture. Tenel Ka stammered, "I thought I'd lost you forever." Her eyes still shone with the unshed tears. Jacen reluctantly pulled away from the one woman he'd ever truly loved and gazed into her eyes, all humour now gone. "I'm never going to leave you, Tenel Ka. You're my whole life, my reason for getting as far as I did." She studied his face, reveling in what she saw and felt through their bond suddenly re-opened. Still, something in his tone was out of place. She repeated, "Did? What do you mean 'did'?" A deep and agonizing sigh escaped Jacen's lips. "Tenel Ka, I will always be with you, in spirit and memory. But, a new and different chapter of my journey has begun." She lowered her head in gesture of defeat, not wanting to believe what he was telling her. "I do not know if I will ever be able to return to you, and that if I did, if it would even be in the same form," Jacen's voice still held all his strength, althought his message was one of despair. With his right hand he gently raised Tenel Ka's chin so she once again was looking directly into his eyes. "I love you, Tenel Ka, I always have and always will. You're truly my everything." The flood of tears rushed forward once again, and this time, the warrior did nothing to stop them. "How can you expect me to continue without you?" Every defense and shield Tenel Ka had ever constructed came tumbling down in that one sentence. Jacen wiped away a few tears with his thumb. A few tears of his own threatened to spill at the sight of his beloved so hurt, and him powerless to ease her pain. "You have always been so strong, and a fighter-" "I have always had you by my side," she interjected. He nodded, "Yes, and although I may not be with you physically, I will always be fighting right by your side." Tenel Ka nodded, trying to muster her strength, and again wrapped her love into a tight embrace. She clung to him as if she were drowning and had only this man to save her. Jacen stroked her long, copper hair and muttered soothing sounds. Very quietly, in barely a whisper she said, "I love you too, Jacen Solo. So much." And then his own tears began to fall. *** Tenel Ka awoke with a start. She was laying in the precise spot where she had knelt earlier, just before Jacen had arrived. Jacen! She looked frantically around, yet there was no sign of him or the orb that had signaled his approach. Closing her eyes she searched the bond that tied the two lovers together, but as before she found only a shattering emptiness. "He's gone," she murmured, "He's gone." Had it all been only a dream? Some sort of vision to ease her troubled heart? Everything had felt so real though. The pressure of his arms around her, his voice, his smile...everything. "He's gone." It was the undeniable, but terribly heartbreaking truth. He had gone and would not be returning, perhaps he had never been there that night at all. Perhaps the miracle in all its entirety had merely been a dream to somehow help give her closure. Tenel Ka bowed her head and in a solemn tone vowed, "With the beating of my heart, Jacen Solo, I will find a way to avenge your death. I will find a way to forever preserve your memory. I will always love you." Then she laid her head back upon the ground and let the hot tears cascade around her. And she mourned the loss of the one person who ever truly knew her. A best friend....and her only love. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: I wasn't exactly sure of the timeline. I was just guessing as to where this would fit in. If someone has a better idea, please let me know. Also, I didn't have much time to type this out, so please excuse any typos that may be in here somewhere. Thanks for reading! ~Calayka -----signature----- "And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to." ~Anna Nalick "Breathe (2AM)"
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Jaina_and_Jag Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 12/26/03 6:28pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	That was terribly sad! Poor Tenel!
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JainaDurron Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 12/26/03 7:26pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	If this is after she thinks Jacen has died when he was merely captured I would love to see a sequel that deals with their reunion. But this was incredibly poignant and sad. Well done. ~~Jilly -----signature----- Qeryné, Handmaiden of the Crest Beta for Midnight_Jedi and Amidala_Skywalker Proud K/Jer (Rogue and Goddess); Twin Suns Lead- KDFC Winner for Best Romance Beyond the Saga, SFFA K/J is love!!!
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Keeper_of_Swords Registered: Sep '03	Date Posted: 12/26/03 7:33pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette - Date Edited: 12/26/03 7:33pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Keeper_of_Swords
	This was sad indeed. -----signature----- The next day there came no dawn and the Grey Company passed on into the darkness of the storm of Mordor and were lost to mortal sight. But the Dead followed them.
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J_M_Bulldog Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 12/26/03 8:04pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	So sad but so well written. I do hope you do a sequel that deals with their reunion. -----signature----- BA(bad attitude), aka Thwack, of TKL's Lomin Ale Wraiths I am never down. I am either up or I am getting up, but I am never down. Stop telling God how big your storm is; instead tell the storm how big your God is.
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Amidala_Skywalker Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '01	Date Posted: 12/26/03 10:35pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Very well done. Is Jacen actually dead, or like Jilly said, just captured by the Vong? In any case, you pulled this off really well. I enjoyed reading it! Am -----signature----- Amsié, Crest of Handmaidens . ___ TF.N Archive Reviewer ___ Battlestar Galactica is the new way.
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Calayka_Bele Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 12/27/03 10:12am Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Thank you so much for all of the feedback! I greatly appreciate it. As for the few questions...I went back and re-read it, and realized I didn't make it quite clear that Jacen hadn't in fact died, but as in the books, had just been captured by the Vong and cut himself off from his friends and family therefore making them believe he had died. Sorry for the clarity problems! I'm thrilled you all liked it, and will begin working on a sequel asap. I've got a few plot ideas in mind, so hopefully my muse will kick in and I'll be able to write it at least somewhat quickly. Thank you once again!!! ~Calayka -----signature----- "And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to." ~Anna Nalick "Breathe (2AM)"
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Calayka_Bele Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 12/27/03 1:10pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Up!!! -----signature----- "And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to." ~Anna Nalick "Breathe (2AM)"
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Dalsy2025 Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 12/27/03 2:24pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	This is too sad ,but good poor Tenel Ka Upa -----signature----- To acknowledge that one has something to learn is taking the first step on the road to true wisdom. Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do
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Calayka_Bele Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 12/29/03 1:29pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Thanks, Dalsy2025. (And to everyone else who replied.) Once again I really appreciate it! ~Calayka -----signature----- "And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to." ~Anna Nalick "Breathe (2AM)"
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JainaDurron Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 1/3/04 3:38pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Just upping this for you and to ask for a sequel. -----signature----- Qeryné, Handmaiden of the Crest Beta for Midnight_Jedi and Amidala_Skywalker Proud K/Jer (Rogue and Goddess); Twin Suns Lead- KDFC Winner for Best Romance Beyond the Saga, SFFA K/J is love!!!
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Calayka_Bele Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/3/04 7:39pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Thanks for the up JainaDurron. It's very much appreciated. As to the sequel...I am working on it and will post it asap! In the title I'll make sure to put some sort of indication that it is the sequel to this vignette. Thanks! -----signature----- "And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to." ~Anna Nalick "Breathe (2AM)"
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JainaDurron Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 1/8/04 3:34pm Subject: RE: With the Beating of My Heart~TK/J vignette
	Woohoo! ~~Jilly -----signature----- Qeryné, Handmaiden of the Crest Beta for Midnight_Jedi and Amidala_Skywalker Proud K/Jer (Rogue and Goddess); Twin Suns Lead- KDFC Winner for Best Romance Beyond the Saga, SFFA K/J is love!!!
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