Author Topic: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-post — Author's thanks to nominators, 12·4
MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 10/22/04 1:30pm Subject: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-post — Author's thanks to nominators, 12·4 - Date Edited: 12/4/04 5:29am (10 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
Summary: Darkness. How much it can reveal.

Author's Note:

If anyone ever reads this story & feels awkward posting a reply 'cause it's old & buried, feel free to PM your response.

1-post story.

Humor fic & just about every other fic I should be working on is stuck.

I owe this fanfic's development to the multiple fics I've read using repetition as a narrative device, 1-shots to tell a story, and minimal dialogue. I've had this growing sensation that since I'm disappointed about there not being more stories entirely devoted to my favorite pairings, I should write some & not just have the pairings as a facet in a complicated and immensely involved story.

What do you guys think of the title? I think it stinks. What am I to expect from something I produced in study hall, today?

Well, here it is. Critiques, flames, praise, welcome. Blaspheming, cursing, cussing, not welcome. I'll take action against the latter. Besides that, be blunt with what you think. I know what I'm asking for, & I'm no novice at receiving critique. Thanks. happy

Enjoy! happy



Leaking Heart:
prequel to Flashing Night,
prequel to Struggling Soul,
prequel to Crippling Secret
(The above, in order, form a small series.)




Drip.

It lands on her forehead, rolling to the side of her face and trailing down her jawline. Dried blood and tears' cleansing reveal the water's trail. Her forehead's gash healed up awhile back, and now she stands, staring blankly at the cavern ceiling.

Does she cry still? Occasionally. She denies them the satisfaction, most of the time.

Drip.

Another one hits her. She doesn't react. Her eyelids do not even flutter.

Is she even here? Not really. She follows his movements, monitoring his Force signature as he seeks her.

Drip.

She blinks, gray eyes distant.

Why does she stand beneath the leak? She must. Ysalamiri live in the walls' crevices, preventing Force use from any other part of her cell.

Drip.

She's been here a long time. Waiting. Listening through the Force as they lead him on one false trail after another. The other searchers gave up long ago, but not him.

Does she fear? Him. She gave up hope for herself long ago. She could not afford her own dreams once her birthright claimed her. Now she realizes her mistake and awaits rescue… by him.

Drip.

She slowly lowers herself to her knees, lowering her head to stare down at the ground. A few scraggly filthy tangles of what once formed flaming tresses fall in her face. She doesn't feel it.

Do they taunt her? During her occasional feedings. She accepts it stoically, as taught by her warrior mother. Any other reaction elicits a beating. They do not know she knows who comes for her.

Drip.

Her eyes snap into focus, and a slight smile appears. Now she notices her matted hair, her rank and scarred malnourished body, and the smile sours to a worried frown. She gathers the scraps left of her clothing, doing her best to look presentable in her disrespectable situation.

What concerns her? Him. She fears her realization may have come too late. She cannot know what has happened while trapped in this hole.

Drip.

The little-used door creaks open. An emerald lightsaber illuminates the cell.

He's found her.

Drip.

She remains still, knowing any movement will drop the remnants of her clothing. She does not speak, for her voice is rusty.

The lightsaber slowly examines the room, wary from the ysalamiri. A while later, it nears enough that she may view its wielder. Brandy brown eyes search intently, shaggy brown hair and tan Jedi tunic unkempt.

Drip.

"Jacen…" she murmurs, and grimaces. Her voice sounds rough to herself.

He abruptly turns towards her, swiftly approaching and crouching beside her. "Vaping Moffs…" He removes his cloak and wraps it around her too-thin shoulders. "What have they done to you?" She doesn't move, watching him.

Drip.

He frowns. "Why are you in this little spot?"

Swiftly she stands, pulling him towards her as she does so. He starts when the ysalamiri lose their hold over his Force-sensitivity. They are close.

Drip.

He glances up when the water hits him. His fingers slowly trace the paths the drops have formed down her face. "Force…"

He raises her chin, not letting her stare at the floor. "Tenel Ka… What have they done to you?"

Drip.

Droplet slides down her cheek, and she doesn't answer. She watches him, troubled. How can she say what she knows she must? She does not know who he might have found in her time alone in the dark…

"I need to get you out of here," he says quietly. Knowing such will put them in the Force-blind reach of the ysalamiri gives him pause. They might not make it out.

Drip.

She tentatively reaches out to him in the Force. A pained smile crosses his lips as he accepts it. Her breath quickens, fear building.

After a moment of Jacen probing her Force signature, he shakes his head and leans forward. "Tenel Ka…"

Drip.

And in the dark of her cell, they kiss.

 

-----signature-----
Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
-Tenel-Ka-  1799 posts
Registered: Apr '02
49062_Darth Caedus (811092)
Date Posted: 10/22/04 1:44pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster - Date Edited: 10/22/04 5:26pm (1 edits total) Edited By: -Tenel-Ka-
Oh my goodness, I'm in love. love

I adore this piece to death. And I like the title -- it fits really well. grin Awesome job! And I love the way she stayed in that one spot just to be able to feel him... sooooooo gorgeous. *sigh*

Do ya mind if I put this on the J/TK site I have? With credit to you, of course. ^_^

 

-----signature-----
[ http://echuta.net/ - we're doomed!
http://whatthefun.net/cosplay - my cosplay site!
http://echuta.net/chivalry - my J/TK fanthings <3
http://echuta.net/oc - EU costuming
http://tenel-ka.livejournal.com - the eljay ]
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
AvenKiel  1339 posts
Registered: Oct '03
6286_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 10/22/04 4:51pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster
Oh, come on!! You can't just stop there!!! More, please!!

 

-----signature-----
I'm a naughty little Kitty... Meow!
Grilled Cheese..... mmmmmmmmm.....
http://www.livejournal.com/~jediliz/
I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't dance , sing and hop around all day, I'd probably die. Death from fidgeting!
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Briman  3083 posts
Registered: Oct '04
41992_Lightsaber
Date Posted: 10/22/04 4:55pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster
This was great, I'm a big fan of the J/TK love thing, you got to write more, please!!!!

 

-----signature-----
The Force is with you young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet --Vader
But all warriors must fall one day-ROSE I
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
TheCrazyRodian  1445 posts
Registered: Mar '04
Date Posted: 10/22/04 6:15pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster
Great work! I swear I shivered just imagining having water drip on me like that.

 

-----signature-----
My body wears a green scent, as on the verge
Between green laughter and green sorrow I have walked all day
Until my legs have gone lame, and still the spring seems spirited away.
--Yi Sanghwa
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Amidala_Skywalker  5958 posts
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered: Jul '01
40187_Jaina Solo
Date Posted: 10/22/04 6:17pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster
Beautiful!

I couldn’t agree with you more when it comes to a lack of stories devoted to this pairing. I’m working on a J/TK index right now and it should be released in the FFR soon. It’s my hope that it’ll further promote J/TK with pieces like yours. Thank you! happy

Ams love

 

-----signature-----
Amsié, Crest of Handmaidens love .
___
TF.N Archive Reviewer
___
Battlestar Galactica is the new way.
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 10/23/04 11:33am Subject: Author's replies. :)
I know I've already thanked some of you through PM, but I've realized suddenly why people do it this way. So here's my replies to you guys.

I welcome PMs, if anyone wants to reply to this that way…

Everybody: You like it that much? grin [dropped jaw] grin Wow! Thanks!

-Tenel-Ka-:
• If you seriously think it's good enough, go ahead & post it on your site. You're referring to "under control," right? (So I can find it. wink )
• Thanks for your comment on the title (It fits! Yippee!) & thanks for pointing out what you thought was "gorgeous". It's always nice for a writer to know what aspects stand out to readers… I'll try to do the same for the one I'm reading of yours.
• & thanks for your edit!

AvenKiel & Briman:
• I can't add to this w/out ruining it. At your requests, I've written a sequel or two & have ideas for more. I'm assuming you want them.

TheCrazyRodian:
• That was the point… wink

Amidala_Skywalker:
• Thanks!
• Does that mean you'll be adding mine to the index? happy

God Bless you! happy

"MistiWhitesun"

 

-----signature-----
Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
green_eyes  649 posts
Registered: Apr '04
13991_Luke Hippo
Date Posted: 10/23/04 2:12pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster—Author's Replies, 10·23
That was beautiful. Never enough stories about J/TK.
You must write a sequel.

Great job,
*green_eyes*

 

Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
SkalenFehl  1913 posts
Registered: Jan '03
46344_Rex (CC-7567) (3161)
Date Posted: 10/23/04 5:59pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster—Author's Replies, 10·23
Nice little vignette, MistiWhitesun. wink

 

-----signature-----
Founder of The Gentlemen's Writing Guild
New Christmas Fic--http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27837048/p1/?0
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Thrawn McEwok  13599 posts
Title: TFN EU Staff
Registered: May '00
43231_Chiss Ewok
Date Posted: 10/26/04 2:38am Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster—Author's Replies, 10·23
MistiWhitesun: She does not speak, for her voice is rusty.

The best line in a brilliant little 'fic! This is incredible! grin

- The Imperial Ewok

 

-----signature-----
A/T = OTP cool
:===8[#]8===:
Kyp/Jaina fans: stand up and be counted!
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
SpeldoriontheBlended  2224 posts
Registered: Apr '02
8031_B'omarr
Date Posted: 10/27/04 9:57am Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster—Author's Replies, 10·23
Wow. Brilliant. grin *Rushes off to read the sequel* grin

 

-----signature-----
'I quote too much' - Me
Society is always in danger of imminent collapse. That is what sustains it.
Beware the power of the elipsis...
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 10/28/04 1:00pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart — J/TK 1-poster—Author's Replies, 10·23
Thanks, everybody! happy

green_eyes
• "beautiful"? I knew there was a reason I didn't post this on FF.net! wink (Most of my stories there are these immense complex confusing monsters. Oh, well. Some like them.)
• I agree about there not being enough J/TK stories.
grin You've gotten your sequel. Two of them. Another's on the way, actually… From Jacen's perspective. Hope you like it…

SkalenFel
• Thanks!

Thrawn McEwok
• Ooo! A favorite line, too! …Though I'm surprised that one stood out… Anyway, thanks!

SpeldoriontheBlended
• [bows] Thank you, & enjoy the sequels!
• Where'd you get that name?

 

-----signature-----
Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Myri_Antilles  2341 posts
Registered: Aug '04
40332_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 11/6/04 6:15pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart—J/TK 1-post—more Author's Replies, 10·28
Wow! That was GREAT! INCREDIBLE! <goes off to buy the thesarus needed to comment on this>

 

-----signature-----
big sis of Myra hugs
adopter of Jedi_Tigris | Master to correllian_ale
padawan sis of MysteriousRaven13, Jaina_Solo_15, and any other padawans my crazy master gets tongue
"boys can't live with 'em, can freeze 'em in carbonite" - Jaina_Solo_15
rose
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 11/8/04 4:29am Subject: RE: Leaking Heart—J/TK 1-post—more Author's Replies, 10·28
Myri_Antilles:

Thanks!

grin You need a thesaurus? I'm the one who repeats every third paragraph. (I know I have a strange sense of humor.)

happy

 

-----signature-----
Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Myri_Antilles  2341 posts
Registered: Aug '04
40332_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 11/8/04 2:06pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart—J/TK 1-post—Author's Reply, 11·8
LOL!

But, you're doing it to be artistic and creative... I'm just in need of words. wink tongue

 

-----signature-----
big sis of Myra hugs
adopter of Jedi_Tigris | Master to correllian_ale
padawan sis of MysteriousRaven13, Jaina_Solo_15, and any other padawans my crazy master gets tongue
"boys can't live with 'em, can freeze 'em in carbonite" - Jaina_Solo_15
rose
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
VadersMistress  11594 posts
Registered: Apr '04
7958_Princess Leia
Date Posted: 11/30/04 2:16pm Subject: RE: Leaking Heart—J/TK 1-post—Author's Reply, 11·8
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE LEAVING IT LIKE THAT! *takes a deep breath* Great work, I loved it, truly. But, please continue!!! PLEASE!!!!! praying

 

-----signature-----
Harry Potter > Twilight
Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Persia pwns your face.
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History