Author Topic: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 11·8
MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 10/26/04 4:43pm Subject: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 11·8 - Date Edited: 12/11/04 8:03am (6 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
Summary: At what point is a warrior no longer one?

Author's note:

I've been told my short stories read as chapters out of a book. If anyone sees what might be causing this, please tell me.

Let me know your thoughts on this, please. No matter how positive, ambivalent, or negative, I'll be happy as long as you keep blaspheming & cursing way out of it. wink

Enjoy! happy




Struggling Soul:
Order of series:
Leaking Heart - qualifying Readers' Choice Vignette, Winter 2004
Flashing Night
Struggling Soul
Crippling Secret





Mhmm…

She holds her turquoise lightsaber out before her. Her apprehension shows. It has been nearly three years since she last did this. Three years since she last used her blade.

It shows.

Whiz…

She twirls around, bringing the blade with her, getting used to its sound once again… Trying desperately to remember how to use it. It has been so long…

She trips, nearly impaling herself with the energy. She lands hard on the ship's metal floor. She stays as she lands, winded. Frustrated tears form. Will she never be able to regain herself?

Hiss—snap!

Before landing her lightsaber clicks off, and flies into Jacen's palm. She realizes he's seen the entire thing. She gets up.

He lets her do so on her own. A lopsided grin appears, and he activates both their lightsabers.

Snap—hiss!

He hands the rancor tooth handle to her.

She accepts it.

Mhmm…

She watches him. She hopes he doesn't want to spar. She knows she would fail… if not worse.

He stares at her. Abruptly he steps forward and caresses her cheek.

Whir…

He fluidly swings into a position beside her, holding his blade as if he only has one hand. After a moment, she follows. His light touch fixes her hold on the blade. His correction feels right to her. He steps back to a respectful distance.

"That better?"

Mhmm…

She nods, not trusting her rusty voice for so much as a "Fact."

"You have to speak sometime."

Hiss—snap!

She deactivates her lightsaber and tosses it aside as she twirls to land a kick on his jaw.

He catches her foot, shoving her backwards. She uses his leverage for a back flip; she stumbles slightly upon landing.

Hiss—snap!

He tosses his own deactivated blade aside. He lunges forward, aiming an elbow at her head. Her delayed reflexes almost don't catch it in time. She hooks her arm through his, dropping to the side. His other arm links around her knee.

They land together.

Hhhhh…

She wheezes, fighting her short wind. Concerned, he untangles himself and crawls beside her. "Tenel Ka?" he asks gently, nudging a limp lock out of her eye. She doesn't—can't—move. Her ashen cheeks flush from shame. He sees it.

In an easy movement, he rolls over, bringing her with him so she's sitting on his lap. His arms support her. "It's okay," he softly soothes. "We'll just take it slow." He tightens his embrace. "Face down Ta'a Chume, maybe?"

HhKhhh…

Her intended snort comes out a cough. She looks away. He smiles slightly. "She got someone named regent who would end her exile and name her regent… Just your grandmother, as usual. You'll negate all the harm she's done when we get back, I'm sure. You'll be back to par in no time."

A frown settles on her face at that. She closes her eyes.

"Jacen?"

Her raspy voice is weak, not helped by her lack of breath.

"Hm?" He delicately rubs her back. He's cautious with her, but she knows she's fragile enough to need it.

"Marry me tonight?"

Her question is a whisper, but Jacen's hand stops in place. "As soon as you decree it, Your Majesty," he murmurs, planting a little kiss on her head. "We have five months to return to Hapes and have you still be Queen Mother. Your people demanded a three-year… regency."

His hesitation comes when she yanks off his shirt. She eyes his build, both comforted and saddened by it. She looks at her own scrawny arm, laced with scars. Her fingers trace his from the Yuuzhan Vong spore then go to her face, to the large bright one beside her ear. He lifts her chin. "I don't care what you look like. You know that."

"Fact…"

In her fiancé's arms, she finds comfort against her weakness, for they will combat it together.

 

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Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
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flowerbee  7633 posts
Registered: Apr '04
44423_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 10/26/04 4:59pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night - Date Edited: 10/26/04 5:02pm (2 edits total) Edited By: flowerbee
I love these viggies! They are very well-written.

EDIT- I hope you're feeling better.

EDIT- That's what I said last time, isn't it? *wanders off to find a thesaurus*

 

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Ylesly  6300 posts
Registered: Oct '04
42495_Zayne Carrick
Date Posted: 10/27/04 2:18pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night
yea,they are

great post

 

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Crimson Jedi Master
Most of the time the "majority" simply means most of the idiots are on the same team
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TheCrazyRodian  1445 posts
Registered: Mar '04
Date Posted: 10/27/04 6:07pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night
This is a sweet vignette. Good work!

 

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My body wears a green scent, as on the verge
Between green laughter and green sorrow I have walked all day
Until my legs have gone lame, and still the spring seems spirited away.
--Yi Sanghwa
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Briman  3083 posts
Registered: Oct '04
41992_Lightsaber
Date Posted: 10/27/04 6:31pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night
I liked it, really nice viggie.

 

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The Force is with you young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet --Vader
But all warriors must fall one day-ROSE I
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MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 10/28/04 1:15pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night
Thanks, everyone! happy

(I have a weird sense of humor & it's showing up in these, just to warn you.)

flowerbee
• LOL! Thesaurus, right. I'm feeling better, but still like something's not right. [rolls eyes and sighs]
• "well-written"? You think so? Thanks!

Ylesly
• You, too? [blink] You guys are scaring me. wink Thanks, though.

TheCrazyRodian & Briman
• Thanks. happy

Again, thanks, everyone! grin

 

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Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
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AvenKiel  1340 posts
Registered: Oct '03
6286_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 10/30/04 5:08pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's replies 10·28
"His hesitation comes when she yanks off his shirt." Go on... Go on...

 

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I'm a naughty little Kitty... Meow!
Grilled Cheese..... mmmmmmmmm.....
http://www.livejournal.com/~jediliz/
I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't dance , sing and hop around all day, I'd probably die. Death from fidgeting!
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MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 10/30/04 5:31pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's replies 10·28 - Date Edited: 11/15/04 4:28pm (3 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
If you tell a joke:
Put a happy after it, please! I'm a literal thinker & may take it the wrong way! Sorry! happy

Thanks. happy

 

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Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
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Myri_Antilles  2341 posts
Registered: Aug '04
40332_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 11/6/04 6:23pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 10·30 - Date Edited: 11/6/04 6:25pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Myri_Antilles
First of all, GREAT, as I have come to expect. wink

Second, is there a sequel to this one, too? <gets down on hands and knees and begs>

Third, THANK YOU for not having a "steamy" scene... I appreciate it. happy

Edit: I just found the sequel. tongue

So, I'll ask in advance for a sequel to the sequel. wink

 

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big sis of Myra hugs
adopter of Jedi_Tigris | Master to correllian_ale
padawan sis of MysteriousRaven13, Jaina_Solo_15, and any other padawans my crazy master gets tongue
"boys can't live with 'em, can freeze 'em in carbonite" - Jaina_Solo_15
rose
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AvenKiel  1340 posts
Registered: Oct '03
6286_Natalie Portman
Date Posted: 11/7/04 12:06pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 10·30
]b]AvenKiel[/b], I have morals. I also am writing from outside my realm of experience on the even the slightest "sweet" romance scenes. If you want in-depth description of a hot guy or the characters' lusting after each other, read someone else for it. I won't add it.

I have morals too, I was just joking anyways!

 

-----signature-----
I'm a naughty little Kitty... Meow!
Grilled Cheese..... mmmmmmmmm.....
http://www.livejournal.com/~jediliz/
I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't dance , sing and hop around all day, I'd probably die. Death from fidgeting!
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MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 11/8/04 3:49am Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 10·30 - Date Edited: 11/8/04 3:58am (2 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
Myri_Antilles:

Thank you. happy I'm not sure if there will be another sequel to "Crippling Secret", but one might come. If I do, it'll end up among the links on my bio page.

Thanks for not lurking! happy




AvenKiel:

blush Sorry! I'm bad about not being able to tell when people are joking. It comes with being a literal thinker. My (major) mistake.

Again, I'm sorry. blush

---MistiWhitesun

 

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Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
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DathomiranAuthor  854 posts
Registered: Jan '05
Date Posted: 2/7/05 5:14pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 11·8
Well-written. Again, I love your description and imagery!!! My only suggestion is to perhaps give Tenel Ka more of a tougher image. Then again, she has been through a lot. Maybe just bring out her determination a little more.

grin Awesome fics. Keep writing, you rule! MTFBWY.

-Dathomiran

 

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Rose_Skywalker  3690 posts
Registered: Nov '02
41227_Padme
Date Posted: 2/28/05 11:03am Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 11·8
We at the YJK index, have noticed that your story fits our criteria for admission. If you would like your story to be part of the index please PM the YJK_Index or Trickster_Jaina_Fel with the following information:

Title: (with separate URL)
Your screen name, and the sn's of any co-writers, with separate URLs for each profile:
Summary:
Keywords (ie: main characters, pairings, genres)
Author's Notes (if you have any)


Thank you
~Rose~

 

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~* rose *~
It's like Star Wars, if it was on the WB- Josh
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MistiWhitesun  514 posts
Registered: Aug '04
18916_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 3/18/05 9:22pm Subject: RE: Struggling Soul—J/TK 1-post—sequel to Leaking Heart & Flashing Night—Author's reply 11·8
Thanks, DathomiranAuthor. happy I appreciate the input; I'll look into it.




Thank you, Rose_Skywalker, for that information. I'll probably do as you suggest in the next few days. happy

 

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Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout)
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1
"I should've known it would come to this."
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