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Author	Topic: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
Enelya_Sol Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 11/25/04 12:47pm Subject: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO) - Date Edited: 11/25/04 10:24pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Enelya_Sol
	Stars Know Why Disclaimer: Jaina Solo, Zekk, and any other mentioned Star Wars character, ship, or thing do not belong to me. They belong to George Lucas, Del Rey, or whoever the kriff. I’m just borrowing them to have my own angsty fun. The song lyrics are by Finger Eleven, “Thousand Mile Wish.” Summary: Post-NJO (by about 2-3 years). In the middle of a fight, Jaina and Zekk find solace in each other. Songfic type thing. Characters: Jaina Solo and Zekk. Brief mentions of others. Author’s Note: Hope you enjoy it! Feedback would be highly appreciated. ***** Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry This time alone could never cause any doubt But I’ve been cold too long Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain With all the holes my love, To fill up from the middle This storm could stay all night So can you stay until we close our eyes Til your dreams hold mine Just stay until we know we tried one more time Zekk leans into the wall of the Lightning Rod, a small breath of air escaping his lips. Fingers tightly curled together, he bangs his wrist hard into the wall, swearing at the frustration and aggravation welling up inside of him. As quickly as his hand smashes against the wall, he pulls it back, cursing now at his own stupidity. He blinks his emerald eyes, fighting back the resulting pain. “Kriff it,” Zekk says, loudly and harshly. “Kriff it all.” He takes deep breaths, calming himself down. How many times has it been drilled into his head that anger was of the dark side? How many times has he had to confront those sentiments? Confront his dark past in the process? Nevertheless, it is hard for him to stop the overpowering feelings. She just… They never should have been assigned to this mission, Zekk decides. It was a mistake to have them work together. A big mistake. They had barely seen, spoken, to each other since Hapes, years ago. Thank the Force they are not the only Jedi onboard, now returning to Osuss after a disastrous mission on the outer rim. Two of their team killed, a couple others injured. They had not expected the Dark Jedi they encountered. It was supposed to have been simple reconnaissance. It was not. Zekk can see Lowbacca roar at the team of five Jedi, vast approaching the Lightning Rod. He wants to laugh at the Wookiee’s actions - raising his arms in the air, shaking his fists, signaling to his friends to hurry – but the scene is too desperate. Blasters echo within the canyon, and the snap hiss of igniting lightsabers can be heard. A bolt singes Zekk’s shoulder-length ebony hair. He glances behind him, an attempt to discern where the blaster bolt had originated. No such luck. Zekk disengages his lightsaber, clipping it to his belt in exchange for the blaster he also carries. He fires a few shots, grinning in grim satisfaction as one bolt hits its target. A female scream distracts him, causing the next round to miss any living being. Without thought, he runs towards the source of shout. Jaina, he realizes, a split second later, sensing her pain through the Force. He runs faster, seeing the brown haired woman sprawled on the sandy ground, her hands reaching towards her right ankle. Another spike of hurt resonates through their connection as she attempts to stand, only to fall back to the ground. “Need help?” Zekk says in between breaths, nearing his companion. Jaina looks up at him pointedly annoyed, her brown eyes masked with pain. “Does it look like I need help?” Zekk rolls his eyes. Ignoring Jaina’s comment, he bends down and grabs her by the armpits, helping to lift her up to standing height. She leans against him, and Zekk wraps an arm around her waist, feeling her body tense up as she attempts to put weight on her leg again. “Don’t,” he whispers. “You have a better idea?” she counters, wincing. She hides her discomfort quickly, hardening her face into grim determination. Any signs of the girl she once was fade from Zekk’s eyes. At twenty-three years of age, she looks much older than he would have expected. The war with the Vong did that, he thinks. It changed all of us. Together, they hobble towards the Lightning Rod. Lowie is still waiting impatiently at the Rod’s port hatch, roaring something incomprehensible to the two Jedi. A shove through the Force cause Jaina and Zekk to stumble to the ground, meters away from the waiting ship. They fall, limbs tangled up together, hitting the sand hard. Zekk could hear the Wookie shout a warning of an approaching enemy, one of the Dark Jedi, he assumes. He pushes Jaina off him and she lands roughly on the dirt ground. He mutters an apology, which she ignores, glaring profusely at him. He grimaces. “I guess I deserved that.” Her snort is all the answer he needs. Minutes later, Zekk and Jaina arrive at the Lightning Rod and Lowie barks a command into the comm system to Kyp to take off. Zekk helps Jaina towards an empty cargo box, allowing the woman to brace herself against its side. He then runs to the cockpit, wanting to make sure his ship was still in working order, not hearing the protests coming from the woman he left behind. He walks down the familiar paths, ignoring the concerned stares of those he passes. He’s determined to find the galley. Determined to find his stashed bottle of Corellian whisky. Determined to drink his emotions and feelings away. He passes a doorway – one of the bunks – and pauses briefly to listen inside. It’s Jaina and Kyp. They’re talking, but Zekk can’t here what. A sudden surge of jealousy flares up with in him, and Zekk almost considers barging in. But he doesn’t. He knows it is pointless. Knows that the past five or so years he and Jaina have spent apart only served to deepen the rift. Sometimes, memories cross his mind. Memories of a time when they were not ever at each other’s throats. Memories of a time when Jaina didn’t find him an annoyance, when she actually cared. Memories he wishes would just disappear. But they never do. It disappoints him, sometimes. He pulls open a closet door in the galley, knowing this is where he last put the liquor. It is there, just as he expects it to be. He pulls it out, and unscrews the cap. His life would be so much easier sometimes if he could forget. But some other part of him knows that that would be a lie. He puts the bottle back. Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons And they’ll go on and they won’t let go They saw something that they know Has never come so close Can it stay here for us, for now? “What the kriff were you thinking just leaving me there?” Jaina yells, storming into the cockpit. Zekk whirls around in the pilot’s seat, surprised to see company. Kyp had left minutes before, relinquishing control of the Lightning Rod to Zekk, allowing the other dark haired Jedi to bring the freighter into hyperspace. She glares at him, and he swears he can almost feel her brown eyes penetrating his soul. Her lips are pressed thin in annoyance, her eyebrows furrowed. She hobbles forward, using an old pipe as a brace. She places her free hand on her hip, tapping her foot, waiting for a response Zekk stands and glances over Jaina’s irritated demeanor. He raises an eyebrow in question, confused by this sudden burst of irrationality on her behalf. “What do you mean, I left you there?” “You know perfectly well. You left me with Lowie in the cargo bay when you know I’m one of the best pilots on this ship. You and Kyp could have used me up here.” Zekk’s normally pale face flushed a pale pink with indignation. He stood, agape, his fists clenched at his side, trying to calm down. He couldn’t believe her, couldn’t believe how self centered, how egocentric she was being. They had just narrowly escaped death – some of their friends hadn’t even been that lucky! – and she thought it was okay to come up here and yell at him for leaving her someplace safe when she was injured? Zekk shook his head in disgust. “You were injured, Goddess,” he finally replied, deliberately drawling out the nickname. “Kyp needed someone up here in a hurry. And helping you with your ankle would have delayed that time. “I’m sorry that I decided my responsibility to the survivors on our team is more important than your own personally glory quest.” He hadn’t meant for the last part to come out sounding so harsh, but it does. Years of pent up anger and frustration, disappointment and loss, fears and love rush together, all at once. The years he spent neglected, the years he had wasted pining for her, the years they had spent as friends all mix together. A twister of emotions warring inside of him. Zekk closes his eyes, willing them to go away. But they don’t. When he opens them again, he sees Jaina staring at him like she would some Sithspawned stranger, her face ashen, her eyes filled with tears. It wasn’t just the words that hit her, Zekk realizes, it was the intensity of his feelings, refracted through the Force. All of the sudden, he wants to apologize, wants to make it right between them – as if the past five years never occurred – but he doesn’t know how. “Jaina,” he whispers, but she wants nothing to do with it. She rushes out of the room, as fast as she can move using the pipe as a crutch, leaving Zekk standing alone. Can it stay until we know ourselves? I’m torn as I tell You’re the story that I know and fell from I’m so far into your story I don’t know why We think we’re in control When we lie between the lines We’ll find a line to follow It’s got to show real soon Or we’ll never each this high We climb a little further Cause there’s nothing we can’t get around together Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around He knocks on her door, hesitantly. Moments pass by too slowly for Zekk, as he waits for her response. Please, Jay, he thinks. He wants a chance to talk, a chance to maybe set things right this time. He hopes he can get this chance; he feels as if he deserves it. He runs a hand through his off-black hair, smoothing the fastener at the nape of his neck, trying to keep every strand in place. He knocks on the door again, just in case he had knocked too softly the try before. Suddenly, he no longer feels like the twenty-five year old serious Jedi Knight he is, but like the thirteen year old who had broken Jaina’s favorite toy, an old model of a Naboo snub fighter that her father had given to her for her tenth birthday. He feels like that boy is coming to ask for his best friend’s forgiveness. But the man knows otherwise. He hears shuffling within the room and he quells down his nerves. The door opens a crack, and a tired looking Jaina Solo peaks out. He sees her rub her eyes with her free hand, stifling a yawn as well. He knows her though – as much as either of them would refuse to admit it – and knows it’s not just the lack of sleep that has gotten to her. It’s the death. And the hardships of being a Jedi. And a fighter pilot, in her case. “Can I come in?” She nods a yes, and Zekk can feel her unsure sentiments through the Force. He pushes the door open wider, just enough to allow him to slip his body in the room. They stand in the center of her small cabin, each studying the other. Her hair is rumpled and unclean, but Zekk still thinks it looks beautiful. That’s his problem, he decides. No matter what he does, he can’t ever let go of her. “Look, Goddess,” he begins, taking a step closer, his hands moving in their own accord to his words, “I…” He doesn’t get a chance to finish the sentence. Jaina throws himself at him the best she can, considering her ankle, and he instinctively reaches out to catch her. The force of her momentum throws both of them against the wall, and she proceeds to kiss him. He opens himself up fully to the Force, noticing that Jaina has done the same. He feels her hands snake into his hair, releasing the dark strands from the clasp, allowing them to fall free to his shoulders. He buries his own hands into her dark brown hair, feeling contentment as they kiss. He pulls away from her, looking deep into her brandy-brown eyes. He can see into her soul through them, can see everything he’s feeling through their Force connection. She bites her lip and Zekk leans in to kiss her again, remembering the last time. They had been en route to Hapes this time, in the Yuuzhan Vong frigate, feeling from the disastrous Myrkr strike team mission. Many lives had been lost there too. Many relationships drastically changed. Including theirs. He knows she’s upset and angry over the loss of her brothers. He knows that she wouldn’t want anything to do with him anyway, but that doesn’t stop Zekk from searching her out. He had sent her to get some rest hours before. She still hadn’t returned. He finds her in one of the bunks. She has been out of the Jedi trance for minutes now; it seems as if she has been trying to get some actual sleep. Trying but not succeeding. He walks over to her, sitting on the bunk without waiting for her permission. He knows that she doesn’t want him here – doesn’t want him around at all, but he doesn’t care. All Zekk sees is his friend in trouble. And it worries him. “Don’t even skragging try to say anything to make it better, Zekk,” she commands before Zekk has a chance to speak. “I don’t want to hear it.” He nods, trying to understand, finding himself lacking. He sits and pulls her fragile body closer to his. To his shock, she doesn’t fight him. Instead, she tilts her head at an angle, and presses his lips to his. He shuffles on the bunk, trying to make himself more comfortable, all without breaking the kiss. He smiles, feeling alive for the first time in ages. He doesn’t want the moment to end, but it does, all too soon. Jaina curls up beside him, falling into a deep, content sleep, snuggling in his arms. He feels her moments peace through the Force, and smiles. But Zekk knows he has to leave though, he can’t stay here. Waking up will be something else entirely, something he knows neither of them will want to face right now. So, he gently disengages her body from his arms, and stands from the bunk, very quietly and carefully. He leans over, brushing a stray strand of her brown hair from her forehead. He kisses her lips gently, no frantic hurried rush needed now, whispering against them “I love you, Jay.” Then, he leaves. It is just like the last time they let their emotions spiral out of control, he thinks. The Force guides their movements, but he knows they are also relying on the memories from last time. Memories that he knows will never fade away, no matter how hard he tries. He swears he sees stars. Zekk knows that if the rest of the galaxy were to go kriffing mad, right this very moment, he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t lift one Sithspawned finger to help. He wishes this moment will last forever. He knows, like last time, it won’t. She curls up in his arms like last time, and he holds her gently. He wants to talk, wants to say all the things he meant to say. Wants to relearn who she is now, wants her to do the same. He knows that it’s a lot he’s asking, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know if he can survive another encounter like this. So we stay until the ground That we can’t come down from splits us away Maybe stars know why we fall I just wish they were thinking out loud Oh, I could wish all night He wakes up and rolls over to his side. His eyes closed, he reaches an arm out, wanting to the girl, the woman, of his dreams. Zekk’s arm falls flat onto the cot. She’s gone. He knows he should have expected this. It shouldn’t be a surprise, but it is. He blinks his emerald green eyes opened, and notices the indent in the bunk where her body had laid. It’s still warm. She must have left recently. If he had just woken up a few minutes earlier. If he had just. But he knows better than that. In another time, in another place, perhaps. Perhaps if this war never came, perhaps if they had never grown up, she wouldn’t have left. Perhaps he would have stayed. He sits up in the bunk, still half tangled in the sheets. He briefly wonders where she disappeared to, why she didn’t stay. He can’t feel her through the Force like he did last night. She’s blocking him again. Zekk groans. He knows he should have known better. But he doesn’t care. He runs a hand through his ebony hair, frowning. He’s angry at himself now, disappointed that he caved in that easily. His fingers curl into a fist again, and he sighs. Self pity is not what he needs right now. The door creaking open causes him to look up, suddenly. Jaina peaks her head in, looking uncertain. Scared, even. He watches her studying him, biting her lip in nervousness. Her long brown hair has been hastily braided back and Zekk knows she hasn’t been up much longer than he has. She blinks, her eyes suddenly alert and alive, but still masking the layer of cautiousness. He watches and she takes a step forward. He meets her in the middle of the room, and suddenly, their roles are reversed. She looks up at him, brandy-brown eyes searching into emerald counterparts. “Can we talk?” So can you stay until we close our eyes Til your dreams hold mine Just stay until we know we tried one more time -----signature----- She found herself smiling. There was nothing wrong with a man who cared about animals, nothing at all, even if he wiped out cities.
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Jaina_Solo_16 Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 11/25/04 1:09pm Subject: RE: Star Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	nice viggie vry sweet yea 1st post! -----signature----- Guenevere of TKL's Lomin Ale Wraiths Triskadectaphobia = Fear of Triscuits (Friends) "I must spread the joy!" April 30th 2006 - 26:34 I PASSED!!
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Deneveon Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 11/25/04 1:24pm Subject: RE: Star Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Very nice viggie. I liked.
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Lonewolf89 Registered: Sep '01	Date Posted: 11/25/04 9:09pm Subject: RE: Star Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Very good work, Enelya. I enjoyed hearing things from Zekk's side. You had his characterization down well. A sudden surge of jealousy flares up with in him, and Zekk almost considers barging in. But he doesn’t. He knows it is pointless. Knows that the past five or so years he and Jaina have spent apart only served to deepen the rift. Sometimes, memories cross his mind. Memories of a time when they were not ever at each other’s throats. Memories of a time when Jaina didn’t find him an annoyance, when she actually cared. Memories he wishes would just disappear. I loved the description there, hHeartbreaking and beautiful. You have good grasp of Jaina and Zekk's relationship, and you used the flashbacks well, which can be hard in fics. Great job! -----signature----- Nom Anor: I witnessed the death of perhaps the greatest of them all, the one called Anakin Solo. Anakin Solo: You want me to move? Come on and move me! Jacen: Count on Anakin to be the last Human to get out of Duro space alive. Member of the FADA & ATF
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Jedi_Bubbles Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 11/25/04 10:15pm Subject: RE: Star Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	That was so sweet! I loved it! Haha! Zekk gets the chance he so rightly deserves! In your face Fel! Err... sorry, I'm kinda resentful on that subject. -----signature----- Maybe if you were as cool as me you'd like Zekk too. "Nothing more fun than irritated grizzly bear." - Twilight by Stephenie Meyer "Fates" (post LotF short story) http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=24995511&brd=10
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Lusa_Thul Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 11/26/04 7:28am Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	That was really nice! You wrote Zekk perfectly! I loved it! -----signature----- http://z4.invisionfree.com/mindbreak/index.php?act=idx Kriff This! http://www.geocities.com/lusa_thul/breakfree.html Raynar Fansite http://www.geocities.com/lusa_thul/crystal.html R/L Fansite http://www.echuta.net/chrono XD Thrilled Master to Kotorchick
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Enelya_Sol Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 11/26/04 9:34am Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Jaina_Solo_16: Thanks very much! Denevon: Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks! Lonewolf89: Thank you. Doing something from Zekk's POV was rather new for me, but he popped into my head and wouldn't shut up until I wrote the fic. I'm glad you think I did a decent job with the characterization, and with the fic in general. Jedi_Bubbles: Hahaha, I'm sort of resentful about that too. Hence all the fanfics. I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this one, or perhaps expanding it into something longer. Thanks for reviewing! Lusa_Thul: Aww, thanks so much! Glad to see I can write a good Zekk. -----signature----- She found herself smiling. There was nothing wrong with a man who cared about animals, nothing at all, even if he wiped out cities.
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Kazzy Registered: Oct '02	Date Posted: 11/27/04 4:44am Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this one, or perhaps expanding it into something longer. Yay! Please do! I'm pretty sure I reviewed this over at ff.net so I'll just say everything I said over there times two! And: this is fantatsic stuff! -----signature----- If you could touch the alien sand, and hear the cry of strange birds, and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you? - First Doctor Looking for me? For my fic? Try my LJ. http://bytheseaside.livejournal.com/profile
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Saturniia Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 11/27/04 8:17pm Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	nods head Sequels are good. Expansions are good. Beer is good too, but I don't have any of that right now. Seriously, though, I love your Zekk characterization. Plus, your cliffhanger, while well placed, is EVIL! More story, please? The aftermath, more sexiness, maybe even honest romantic feelings on Jaina's part, if it doesn't seem OOC? -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15682595/p1 "Be That Way" J/Z, Post NJO AU speculative. Read it. You know you want to!
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Jedi_Bubbles Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 11/27/04 11:11pm Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Please make a sequel! gets on hands and knees and begs offers chocolate Zekks and Zekk plushies as bribery -----signature----- Maybe if you were as cool as me you'd like Zekk too. "Nothing more fun than irritated grizzly bear." - Twilight by Stephenie Meyer "Fates" (post LotF short story) http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=24995511&brd=10
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Elfsheen Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 11/28/04 5:54am Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Yay another great story! I loved it. Great use of langue and pov. Keep it up! -----signature----- You're the worst hallucination ever!!! I'm not crazy I just have a second consciousness in my brain Double Oh Fang
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Enelya_Sol Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 11/29/04 4:23pm Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Kazzy: I got your reviews from FF.net! Thank you so very much! XD I'm really glad you've enjoyed it. As for a sequel, I've been brainstorming ideas, and I think I'm going to start writing it during winter break. So look for it! Saturiina: Haha, beer? Sorry, happen to have none of that, but I can promise you that I'll probably be bugging you about the sequel/expansion to this fic. Would you mind? And don't worry, it'll definately explore more of Jaina's feelings. It'll probably be from multiple POVs. Jedi_Bubbles: Hehehe, I definately don't think I can pass up that sort of offer. Elfsheen: Thank ya! :0 -----signature----- She found herself smiling. There was nothing wrong with a man who cared about animals, nothing at all, even if he wiped out cities.
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GrandAdmiralJello Title: Mod of Olympus •EUC •JCC Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 12/1/04 9:48pm Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Whoa. Lovely work Jen. I especially like your characterization of Jaina. She mannerisms and little quirks seem exactly spot on. It's impressive, and so is the almost poetic level with which you describe certain things. If you had that level of detail on the entire thing, it would be out of this world. As it stands, it's spectacular. -----signature----- SPQR Vates Jυλιαδις Moribus antiquis res stat Romana virisque - Ennius Tu regere imperio populos, Romanæ, memento; hæ tibi erunt artes; pascisque imponere morem, parcere subjectis et debellare superbos - Virgil
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Saturniia Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 12/5/04 2:59pm Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Jen, I wouldn't mind, if I could actually use my own computer instead of a kisok... Why can't I go just one semester without my comp being evil? That said, still looking forward to more! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15682595/p1 "Be That Way" J/Z, Post NJO AU speculative. Read it. You know you want to!
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Enelya_Sol Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 12/30/04 6:24pm Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	GrandAdmiralJello: Thanks! You should leave feedback more often. You're not that bad at it. It's really sweet of you to think that. Saturniia - Evil computer. Hopefully it'll work soon again. Remind me to start running ideas by ya. -----signature----- She found herself smiling. There was nothing wrong with a man who cared about animals, nothing at all, even if he wiped out cities.
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Lady_Jedi_Carenix Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 1/27/05 9:23am Subject: RE: Stars Know Why (J/Z, one-shot songfic, post-NJO)
	Hmmm... good stuff. Great characterization, good pacing, and it's a fun fan fic to read. I hope you'll get to writing the sequel sometime soon. -----signature----- “Yes, yes, I know, random, clumsy, etcetera, etcetera; but some times you just need to make a lot of indiscriminate damage." - Zekk Link to J/TK fanfic in bio JC twin to TheEmperorsHand Retired Lightside Jedi Master, Knight of Fan Fiction
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