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Author	Topic: "I no longer have a name." — final section, "Anakin" — please critique — link to daughter story up
MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/4/04 9:02am Subject: "I no longer have a name." — final section, "Anakin" — please critique — link to daughter story up - Date Edited: 12/18/04 7:57pm (11 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
	Title: "I no longer have a name." Author: MistiWhitesun Timeframe: NJO (post SbS) Characters: Leia Naberrie Genre: supernatural, AU Keywords: dead, unknown family, AU, Force-use Summary: Padmé's long-dead baby sister watches her sister's family. Notes: Basis story for "Most can't hear me…", so same OC. Author's Note: Enough people liked "Most can't hear me…" that I've decided to put up its basis story, too. This is a somewhat altered version of the original on fanfiction.net. This is a 5-part story. Edit: I've mildly edited the following chapter to try to make it less confusing. Requested reviewing rules: • Don't blaspheme or swear. • Do put smilies after jokes. • Do critique. (In-thread is fine.) Thanks. Enjoy! ---- "I no longer have a name." ---- --Luke-- Hello, Luke. You play with your son right now. I've never seen a father play with his son. I had no brothers; and your father never played with you, except when trying to get you on the Dark Side. Grandpa was dead by the time I was born, though my sisters had gotten to meet him. You named your son Ben—after Obi-Wan, you say. Do you know that Kenobi got the name from your mother screaming for "Ben" in the middle her nightmares? Do you know who those nightmares were really about? I don't think you do. You've never looked for him; not even when on Dathomir. You've never noticed those slight ripples in the Force that flow directly to you and your sister… Because the ones between you twins are so strong, perhaps? Is that it? Or maybe it's something else. You never met your brother's presence—you spent months in the same womb as your sister, though. Maybe that makes the difference. It doesn't matter. You're content, if sometimes sadly reminiscent that you'll never know who your mother was. The thought that another sibling might be out there doesn't even enter your thoughts, and I can't put it there. I wonder what you'd do if you knew that Fallanassi, Akanah, had been closer to the truth than she'd known—that Wialu lied to you about Nashira. Akanah had meant what she'd told you as a lie, but Nashira had been your mother. Na-shira: "forlorn mother of twins". I wonder why she let them call her that. More so, I wonder why Akanah never guessed. I mean, wasn't it obvious? She'd never seen "Nashira" with the White Circle while on Lucazec; yet they trusted her enough to bear a message. The Circle's excessively keen on keeping the religion quiet—more so about the species. I don't think even Akanah knows there's Fallanassi species. She's so ignorant. I know more than she does. Artoo-Detoo beeps behind you, Luke. Why are you getting Threepio to translate? Haven't you learned Droidspeak by now? Your mother did, and she owned him a lot less time than you. "The Chief of State's at the door," the astrodroid beeps and whistles, with a snickering edge to it. Threepio makes it sound pleasant—but it's not what Artoo said, anymore. Threepio never translates what Artoo says; that protocol droid interprets it. I liked him a lot better before his memory wipe, but Sis couldn't handle him constantly asking after "Master Anakin"; couldn't have him asking your sister that. "Your sister" she is to me, Luke. I'm sorry, but I can't think of her as anyone else. It's strange, though, because ever since she was born, I haven't really been anyone, either. I'm kind of glad I'm dead; that I've had to grow up by watching your parents; you. At least I don't have the bothersome problems I had while alive—ones that would've made life miserable for me, once the Empire killed Daddy and Sis. I wouldn't have been able to wait for Jacen, and even if I had followed Pooja to Dathomir, what would have happened once the Nightsisters found out my fatal weakness? What would've happened had we ever gotten separated? Rhetorical question. I know what would've happened. You wouldn't believe how I died, Luke. I know none of the old Order Jedi would have, especially since they'd known Grandma. So that, and my lack of identity are spared by my remaining dead. I probably could come back if I tried… if someone showed me how. Sis might have been the most Fallanassi of the three of us—in the last possible generation for it to show, the grandchild—but I was in-between. That's where the problem that killed me comes from—Human and Fallanassi genes, joining in a way so as not to complement, as Sis's did, giving her all sorts of strengths to battle her major flaw; but to hinder, making me clumsier than someone with no Force connection, weaker, slower… So it's good I'm dead. I think. I wish I could talk to you, at least; but then you'd ask who I am. I'm not anybody, Luke; my identity has been taken from me and given to another. I was somebody, once. I am something. But neither of these I can tell you, Luke, for no matter how I try, I cannot get you to hear me. Nephew. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 12/4/04 9:06am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — same OC as "Most can't hear me…" - Date Edited: 12/4/04 9:06am (1 edits total) Edited By: Smuggler_Shidakis
	Spooky. Glad to see it though. This is a very original way of writing. A tad bit confusing, though. Are you saying that Padme had a son named Ben? Very nicely done, if difficult to follow. EDIT: First reply! WooT! -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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flowerbee Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 12/4/04 11:10am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — same OC as "Most can't hear me…"
	I agree with Gina, a touch hard to follow. Very unnerving, however.
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/6/04 3:24am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — same OC as "Most can't hear me…"
	Thanks, Smuggler_Shidakis & flowerbee! Sorry 'bout the 'confusing'… I'll try to work that kink out of it. Thanks for letting me know! Smuggler_Shidakis: • Thanks; glad you like the spin. Yeah, that is what she's implying. flowerbee: • Unnerving? Good… Next section, "Leia", should be coming soon. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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Abby Registered: Jan '04	Date Posted: 12/6/04 8:39am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — replies, 12·6
	Wow, I liked it. Was maybe a bit confusing - I think it was supposed to be a little unclear? Well done though. Very well. ~Abby~ -----signature----- A Twist of Fate ~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15764413/?34 Desires of a Sleepless Mind ~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/21003119/?7 Best Intentions ~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/17067351/?0
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/6/04 5:45pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — replies, 12·6 - Date Edited: 12/7/04 3:29am (1 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
	Thanks, Abby! Glad you think so of this. Yeah, it's supposed to be mildly unclear, but there's a fine line between intentionally unclear & downright confusing, & I fight a tendency to be the latter. So when in doubt, I assume that I've overdone it. Author's Note: I'm beginning to wonder if I should attempt this type of perspective more often. Would anyone like me to try that? Requested reviewing rules: • Don't blaspheme or swear. • Do put smilies after jokes. • Do critique. (In-thread is fine.) Thanks. Enjoy! ---- "I no longer have a name." ---- --Leia-- I see you with your husband… niece. He's teasing you, right now, about being a princess. Do you know your father used to do that to Sis? —Only your mother was a Senator. Do you know that she is where you have inherited your political sense from? Your cool head? Your patience? Your sense of being personally wronged, your sharp tongue, your hot temper—those are from your father. Sis had a quick temper, too; but she had a secret way of dealing with it, a way of being angry without losing her cool; a way of keeping in control. Even now, I don't know what she did. Grandmother never taught me or Sola. Only her. I do not even try to make you hear me, niece. I'm afraid you will. And I don't know what to say to you, except that your mother tried till the end to find a way to keep you two, and that's something I'd rather tell Luke. What to call you is as difficult a problem as what to call myself, for I no longer have a name; it is yours now. But your name was my own name, so how can I call you that? There is your nickname, your childhood name… Lelila. But that was Grandma! Nor can I call you "Mistress Solo"—that was Sis's best friend. So I drift here without a body, watching, wondering, pondering as I wait… This is tiresome business, this waiting. I do not know what I wait for. I used to think it was Sis's death–but I stayed. Then I believed it was her husband's—but there was Luke, lonely at his father's death, and I could not leave him. When he married, I thought, I'd go—but you had children, niece, and I was fascinated how you and Han, unwitting of the deep friendship your mothers had shared, bonded and raised your children in a way a lot closer to normal than your own childhoods had been. I rather like you, niece. I wish we could've known each other, but I don't think we would've gotten along too well. I'm too much like Grandmother to be much more than a nuisance—I mean, like Grandma. Oh, dear. I've done it again. Grandma and Grandmother—it's so confusing, even to me! Grandma was Daddy's mother; one of the Twenty, she was a Jedi Master who formally left the Order to the relief of many. Grandmother, Momma's mother, I'd known; she'd once been a seemingly disreputable blackmailing bartender, who few knew the true nature of. I only know what she really was because Sis told me, niece, one of those nights long ago when she was content to let me stay around her… to talk to me… to not fling me out, as she had a tendency to, claiming I invaded her privacy. In that sense, I'm glad none of you hear me. It keeps you from getting angry at me, from forcing me back out into the lonely expanse where I don't belong. I shouldn't be dead. Even supposing it had been long enough, what killed me was too ludicrous to have been fatal. I think Grandmother's brother was afraid I was the heiress and could control his kamargh. I wonder if he's ever realized that he targeted the wrong sister. I said around Luke that your mother was the most Fallanassi of the lot of us. It's true. My supposed "bartender" of a grandmother had actually been a teeklefa, the… Crown Princess, I suppose… descended directly through the maternal line from the last only child of the ruling Fallanassi monarch. Grandmother had been selected as monarch by her mother but chose not to rule, letting her baby sister handle the Crest until she passed it to Sis. What did your mother did with it? Remembering how Sis could always defend herself, I think that Grandmother taught her something else, too: zerchani. I don't know what the word means, but it's some sort of self-defense. It's highly uncommon, though. I wonder how Grandmother knew it? It might be so rare because I've heard it's like that old fighting style, Vaapad, in that something about it can lead to the Dark Side. Your mother was never in danger of falling; nor was Grandmother. I wonder what the secret is. Grandmother, as Fallanassi full-blood, lived some centuries before settling down, so I guess she'd learn to deal with anger in that time. But I don't know how Sis did it, or even what she did. I wish I knew. I wish I knew how she assassinated Kar Vastor, the man who drove Jedi Master Depa Billaba insane. Vastor had at least one Jedi Master guarding him at all times, and a constant minimum of three guards. Han's calling you "Your Worshipfulness" again, niece. That Isela could have called Sis that. Maybe Palpatine wouldn't have been brave enough to kill her. Maybe you could have known your mother. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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Laura_Anu Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 12/6/04 6:45pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section II, "Leia"
	Whoa, so in this fic Han's mom was Padme's friend?? Freaky! Anyway, I think this is a really awesome story. I'd really like to see it played out in BFTS and TS. More in depth, you know. Because I just want more!! -----signature----- "It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it." - Brooks Johnson Currently taking time off from the boards while I get all of my school/track stuff in order
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flowerbee Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 12/6/04 8:20pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section II, "Leia"
	Man, oh man. This is a very unusual concept...I think you've pulled it off quite well.
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/7/04 2:14pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section II, "Leia"
	Thanks, Laura_Anu & flowerbee! Laura_Anu: • Glad you like it so much. I'll consider expanding it, but no promises. I have enough really long fics & original stories going on, at the moment. Sorry. flowerbee: • Thank you. I think I came up with the idea thinking about how the Force would affect the afterlife & what some weird ways of dying would be & how that would affect the pitiable individual… It brings in all sorts of weird possibilities. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/8/04 3:14am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section II, "Leia"
	Authors Note: 2 more sections, after this one. Requested reviewing rules: • Don't blaspheme or swear. • Do put smilies after jokes. • Do critique. (In-thread is fine.) Thanks. Enjoy! ---- "I no longer have a name." ---- --Jaina-- You also are like Anakin Skywalker, Jaina; but much of that comes from your father, too. You're a natural pilot. You're piloting now, leading your squadron on a practice manuver. It's kind of funny, how much your father hated Darth Vader, not realizing how alike he was to the man Vader had once been. Silly Marson—your father's father. He'd smirk to see you so aggressive; laugh at your gentle twin. I can't say I like you much, Jaina. You're still volatile, even after your spiff with the Dark Side. It didn't scare you enough. I think you'll fall again, someday. Your temperment is still out of control. Are you what Sis would've been had she not controlled herself, Jaina? You look so much like her, though Jacen has more of her face. You have her, my, the family's eyes and hair. The Naberrie family's. Your cousin Padmé would probably recognize you, if you ever went to Naboo. She's Queen. Ryoo doesn't like it that her daughter has taken after her namesake. Ryoo hated Sis… her aunt. Honestly, I think you frighten me, Jaina; but I can't be sure. In this drifting undead deadness, I can't be sure what I feel. I have no body to cue me in with chills, warmth, the urge to run, cry, or whatnot. Not that I really want a body. It was very painful, that business of living. I was wounded at least once a week, though I had trouble getting others to believe it. A few times the entire family had to gather around to put me back together. Once, I think my leg was in the flowerbed, my ear on the swing, and a finger buried as a bone in the dirt… Something like that. Needless to say, I never went to school. Even if I had been old enough, I would've horrified everyone else—been terrified, myself. I wonder if I would've been tutored? I don't like watching you when you pilot, Jaina. I used to watch Sis fly—but I can't watch you. Somehow, it makes me feel dizzy. It's strange, but lately I've been getting feelings I shouldn't be getting without a body to give them to me. I wonder what it is. Careful, Jaina. There's no need to fly all reckless like your brother. Let your flight keep up with you. Jag doesn't need you to show off for him. He knows what you can do. You don't need to show off for Kyp, either. His mother would sting him, if she was here, for him piloting that cargo vessel so, aiming to scare the owner. But she's off, keeping an eye on Mara, right now. I like Kyp's mother. I think. It's hard to link another essance to who they were when living. Sometimes, we'll both stand watch over your mother or Luke. If she's who I think she was, she delivered those twins. Sometimes, especially when I just make a quick switch from watching one of you to another, I'll think I feel someone else watching with me. I'm never sure; but I'm feeling it now, which is strange. I normally don't feel it for this long. I never got it while Sis was alive. She probably kept me from sensing it. She could do that. She was always a lot better with the Force than I was, even after she made herself forget how to use it. This other "presence", or whatever it is, is odd. It's like a shadow, almost; a shadow hid behind a barrier I can't even sense. Master Yoda, maybe? But why would he hide from me? He never knew I existed. It's not Skywalker; I know that much. I'd recognize him. I think I should recognize it anyway, though, and I don't know why. I guess it's because it's so precisely unfamiliar, that it seems like someone must be intentionally fuzzing it. All my strong reading points are precisely its strong muffles. A coincidence… maybe. Or not. Would you laugh at your great-aunt, Jaina, if you knew how scared she is? Would you shake her off, toss her away like you do your hair from your face? Or would you listen, soothe, help, your long-dead great-aunt? I don't think you would. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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flowerbee Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 12/8/04 5:46am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section III, "Jaina"
	Very interesting. She has a unique perspective on things doesn't she?
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/8/04 2:12pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section III, "Jaina"
	Thank you, flowerbee! Yeah, her mindset's fun to get in to. Strange, but fun. Glad you like it. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 12/8/04 4:35pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section III, "Jaina" — dead OC speaking
	Wowza. I don't know how you do it. Sort of creepy and haunting. The bit about different body parts all over the place, especially. Nice. -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/9/04 3:18am Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section III, "Jaina" — dead OC speaking
	Thanks, Smggler_Shidakis! Glad you like it! How I do it… Erm… I practice a lot and God blesses that. [shrug] You mightn't believe how badly I was writing just a few years ago. "Creepy" & "haunting"? Good… Yeah, the body parts is an odd one—which is what this entire fic is, so… -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/10/04 5:46pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section III, "Jaina" — creepy OC speaking
	Requested reviewing rules: • Don't blaspheme or swear. • Do put smilies after jokes. • Do critique. (In-thread is fine.) Thanks. Enjoy! ---- "I no longer have a name." ---- --Jacen-- Jacen. I scarce dare to whisper around you, Jacen. You'd probably hear me, and then your family would think that there might be something wrong with you, again. You're so quiet… gentle… Why'd you give up your pets? You used to love them so. Just because you've grown up doesn't mean you can't keep animals… Does it? Sis kept a pitten when she was on Alderaan. Organa gave one of its cubs to your mother. She named it AT-AV; All-Terrain Attack Vehicle. I liked that pitten. I never would have touched it, though. I would've never been in the same room as it—it would've hurt me! All animals did. That was why Sis made herself forget about her Force abilities. She was the one to send the garden snake to me. She'd only meant to scare me—really. But she underestimated how much I aggravate animals' attack instinct. As if it was a boa, it curled around my neck… Next thing I knew, I was looking at my limp blue self, Sis screaming and kicking the garden snake off my neck. "Sis?" I asked. She'd looked around wildly before suddenly spotting me. She burst out crying. "I didn't mean to! Master Thracia!" She ran off, sounding hysterical, while I wondered what the problem was. I didn't hurt anymore. When the family came out and stared teary-eyed at me, I still didn't get it. Even the visiting Jedi Master looked upset. My still-living Grandpa Naberrie—Grandma's husband—looked confused. "What is everyone staring at?" "Sola! Find Padmé, quick!" Momma ordered, kneeling beside my body. "Don't let her hurt herself!" "She did this?" "Angry. Scare me," I explained to the tiny old Jedi, a peer of Daddy's dead mother, Grandma, and Momma's dead father. They'd had an 'accident', as Grandmother put it, meaning they'd decided it was time to join the Force before the Jedi Council tracked them. I still don't understand why no one found Grandmother. She'd been one of their top information brokers, once… Well, anyway, they found Sis and dragged her back, but she'd already reacted. All portions of her memory related to the Force had been broken off from the rest of her memory and 'forgotten'. She only started remembering when she married your grandfather, though some of her old skills unwittingly returned before then. I don't think anyone suspected anything until she started shooting down rolling droidekas, and then only a few did. I don't remember when precisely I realized I was dead. I guess it's one of those things that once you know it, it feels like you've always known that. I barely remember what it was like to be alive, anymore… Why do you like Danni so much? You're not compatible. You're both too philosophical. That's great for friends, but for anything more you'd be at each other's throats all the time. Don't you remember who you used to like, though you thought she'd be shocked if she knew? What about those times you wondered why she did this, or didn't do that? Why haven't you ever asked? Why have you forgotten them? Didn't you notice her response to your good-bye? Someday, I might just talk to you, Jacen. Let you hear me. If you ever aim to marry that scientist, I think I will. She's a great person, but you need someone active to balance you out. I know—your grandparents were a lot alike, but so are you and Tenel Ka. Sis and Anakin were both stubborn, reckless pilots, and I could continue for I don't know how long with the list; but your grandmother was calmer, better controlled, more levelheaded, but willing to act when necessary. Kind of like you, actually, in that respect. You and Tenel Ka share calmness, common interests, and so forth… But her easy action and quick-thinking balances your pensiveness and distractibility, mister "Satellites!" Your diplomatic strength covers her weakness, and vice versa. Don't you see what a great team you are? I mean, I know you cut off her arm, but— I'd better leave before I get too loud. -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 12/11/04 3:27pm Subject: RE: "I no longer have a name." — section IV, "Jacen" — creepy OC speaking - Date Edited: 12/13/04 1:03pm (1 edits total) Edited By: MistiWhitesun
	Everyone's gone! Pst… [click below] Just playing around… -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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