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Topic:
And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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SweetPea
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 2:22pm
Subject:
And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
- Date Edited:
2/23/05 5:13pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
SweetPea
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Here's my response to the "Kill Wes" challenge over at The New DownTime thread on the Resource board. Partially inspired by a totally unrelated scene in I, Jedi.
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They’ve been taking shifts.
They do it casually so I won’t notice, but it’s too obvious to hide. Tycho and Hobbie will leave to get something to eat, but Wedge will stay behind, or Wedge and Tycho will go home to their families while Hobbie stays behind...you get the picture.
They don’t want me to die alone. Or maybe they’re afraid if they don’t see it for themselves they’ll always wonder if it actually happened. I don’t know. I appreciate it, but...part of me wishes they would just leave already.
Because, to be perfectly honest, they’re all so very depressing.
Take Hobbie, for instance. He keeps pacing around my hospital room, looking at all the stuffed Ewoks and flowers my various fans and admirers (mostly female) have sent me. He doesn’t say much; he just looks mournful. If I didn’t already know that he always looked that way, I might think he was practicing in advance for the wake. At one point, though, in an uncharacteristic fit of optimism, he said, “Well. At least there will be all that time and money saved for the funeral.”
I looked at him quizzically. “You know,” he continued. “On flowers. We won’t need to buy any more, we can just take these and...” he trailed off, gesturing at the flowers as if moving them. I had to smile at that. I’m not sure if he was serious, or if he was trying to make a joke. With Hobbie you can never quite tell.
Tycho isn’t much of a better companion. I had him proofread the memoirs I had been typing up. He kept snorting at my chapter about my myriad amorous entanglements. Just jealous, I’m sure; I didn’t mind. But when he got to the chapter where I talk about my good friends, the Rogues, he looked like he was about to cry and quickly excused himself from the room.
Now it’s Wedge’s turn; he’s sitting here in the chair beside my bed. I look over at him and see that he is on the verge of tears as well. Huh. Do I have to do everything myself? Time to take matters into my own hands.
“Wedge,” I say. It comes out as a croak.
He straightens in his chair suddenly. “What is it, Wes?” he asks me earnestly.
“Have you heard any good jokes lately?” I reply.
Wedge rolls his eyes. “Only you...” he sighs.
“C’mon, Wedge, I’m dying of boredom here. Tell me a joke.” I say.
Wedge winces at my choice of words.
“Or I’ll comm Nawara and have him take you out of my will,” I threaten.
Wedge just shakes his head. “Uh, okay. So there was this Bothan who walked into a tapcaf with a gornt under his arm...” he begins.
I lean back into my pillow and smile. Wedge is so predictable. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of Wedge’s voice, and it starts to take on a distant, hollow quality. A strange sensation overcomes me and as I inhale for what I’m sure will be the last time, all I can think is
Sithspit. I’m going to miss the punchline.
-----signature-----
And the Bartender Says... http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/18513916/ Winner, Summer 2005 Fanfic Awards, Best Viggie: Wedge Antilles' Guide to Improvisational Parenting: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/18412918/
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RogueMara
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 2:31pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
- Date Edited:
2/23/05 2:32pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
RogueMara
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Aww...Spee...*sniff*
Sithspit. I’m going to miss the punchline.
So sad, yet so very Wes...
I love it...as much as I could love reading about Wes dying  
Edit: hee hee hee...mine's the firstest!
-----signature-----
Witch hunting is never in season.
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Jesina_Dreis
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 2:34pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
- Date Edited:
2/23/05 4:27pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Jesina_Dreis
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Oh, SweetPea, that was wonderful!!
It was soo...soo Wes. Still holding onto his sense of humor right to the end, that last line...
Poor Wes...I loved seeing his thoughts on his friends as they stand vigil over him....
Beautiful!
Jes
-----signature-----
 Stay safe, Ev Big sister to valin_halcyon Rest in Peace, Jeremy http://www.heatherjanes.com http://z9.invisionfree.com/downtime
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talkingbanana
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 3:14pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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So I come home from what has amounted to be a terribly depressing five hours of theatre work and read this -
- and BAM! I'm even more depressed. Thanks a lot.
In all seriousness, that was extremely well-written; if you have crying readers, like me, you're doing pretty well.
The last line was fabulous in all its sadness.
Keep up the great work!
-----signature-----
How? Myn/Lara one-shot, Betrayal, slight AU http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28175766/p1/?0 Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
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Rowan_Jade
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 3:44pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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*teeth clenched*
Do. You. Have. ANY. Idea. How. Hard. It. Is. To. Laugh. And. Cry. At. The. Same. Time?????????
Damn you and all your Spee-nees!
But bravo! I think you have just made certain highly paid authors very jealous, as you have written their characters better than they did.
I'm gonna go cry until I think of the real punchline to that and then I'm gonna laugh till stuff comes outta my nose.....*sniff*
-----signature-----
"If you have legs and are flamable, you are not blocking the fire exit" -Mitch Hedberg
I am Evil, I am Old, I am YodaRo! Fear my snarkiness!
"You're insane you know." -everyone around me
Evil Old Wisdom Giver to the Maniac Mountain Clan
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CodeName_Targeter
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 3:54pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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AWWWWWWW!!!!
*sniffs*
It was all so sad!!!
And that last line!
*sniffs again*
~Jenn
-----signature-----
XWFC: Wraith Leader and Senator - Starfighter Draft Winner
Ravenclaw ftw!
Doppleganger of Suzuki_Akira and Vod'ika to Valin_Halcyon
Dragged back to the forums for the SFD by Jello. Look out!
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padawan lunetta
Registered:
May '99
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 3:57pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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!!!!!! SO sad and funny at the same time! Love it...though it made me cry....DARN YOU! Lovely final thought for him, UGH ....beautiful work though, really stirred by heart. Ugh. 
-----signature-----
"You may marry a hutt if you like, just don't expect me to brag about my cute grandchildren."
Hal Horn to Corran, I, Rebel
Jacen\Jysella Forever!!!
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Smuggler_Shidakis
Registered:
Jul '04
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 4:21pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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Oh my god...
How can I be laughing and crying all at once? It was all so sad... but at the same time, there was that classic Wes humor.
Sithspit. I’m going to miss the punchline.
That was so completely Wes...
*runs away bawling*
-----signature-----
K/J =  Dark Lady of the JCC | Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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LianaMara
Registered:
Oct '00
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 5:17pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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Oh! Wonderful characterization of Wes! I was giggling at his humour, and sniffling at the fact that he was on his deathbed at the same time.
The ending was perfect - just what he would have said.
And Wedge's gornt joke . . . everyone tells gornt jokes. Great job!
-----signature-----
"For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business."
--T.S. Eliot
Leilaé, handmaiden of the Crest || petit Jedi enfant of obaona || Lani & Lali's blonde triplet
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Gabri_Jade
Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 7:42pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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Wow, I never thought I'd laugh at a death scene. Which to me means that you nailed it perfectly, because that's exactly what Wes would want.
Or maybe they’re afraid if they don’t see it for themselves they’ll always wonder if it actually happened.
That so totally cracks me up. If that's not vintage Wes, I don't know what is.
At one point, though, in an uncharacteristic fit of optimism, he said, “Well. At least there will be all that time and money saved for the funeral.”
Totally Hobbie, too!
Sithspit. I’m going to miss the punchline.
ROTFLOL!!! Oh, wow. It's definitely, completely sad that Wes is dying, but if he has to go, this is how it should be. Great job.
-----signature-----
Evil Twin of LadyPadme  This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. -Bob Dylan The Space Between Heartbeats - L/M AU vig http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/28870280 !!11!1eleventy
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
2/23/05 7:52pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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I had felt bad at chuckling over the end as Wes is dying. Phew, talk about confusion. I was sure I had read it toally out of context. At least reading the replies let me know I'm not totally heartless.
Fabulous little viggie SweetPea.
-----signature-----
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
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corellian_chic242
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
2/24/05 8:45am
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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Sithspit. I’m going to miss the punchline.
Aw, it's so Wes!
-----signature-----
CAUTION: Psycho Ward Outpatient I reject your reality and substitute it with my own  "If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's never underestimate a Klingon." "You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you."
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Enelya_Sol
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
2/24/05 11:12am
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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That was so sad! The last line had tears in my eyes. Poor Wes.
-----signature-----
She found herself smiling. There was nothing wrong with a man who cared about animals, nothing at all, even if he wiped out cities.
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SweetPea
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
2/24/05 6:33pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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Ooo, reviewishness! (sorry Ro...had to steal your word for a second there... )
Mara- I love it...as much as I could love reading about Wes dying
Thanks! Poor Wes...being killed so many times in such a short span of time...
Jes- No way! I made the fiend do a crying-face? Something wrong here...
Beautiful
Thank you! 
Nanner-and BAM! I'm even more depressed. Thanks a lot. Awww, I'm sorry. 
that was extremely well-written
Thank you! 
Ro-Damn you and all your Spee-nees! Hehehe. Spee-ness.
I think you have just made certain highly paid authors very jealous, as you have written their characters better than they did. Aw, shucks
Jenn- Hey! I caught that laughy-face hidden in the crying-faces. Hehehehe.
Luney- beautiful work though, really stirred by heart Thank you!
Ugh
Is that a good "ugh?" 
Smuggler- there was that classic Wes humor. Aw, I'm glad you thought the humor was Wes-worthy.
LianaMara- Wonderful characterization of Wes! Thanks!
everyone tells gornt jokes
Hehehehehe. Yeah, Wedge isn't a very original joker, is he?
Gabri_Jade- but if he has to go, this is how it should be I'm glad you think so. I didn't want to kill poor Wessie, but the evil PilotFic fiends made me do it...
Great job
Thanks!
Healer_Leona- Omigosh! I've been graced by the presence of a mod!
had felt bad at chuckling over the end as Wes is dying Yeah, but Wes would want his death to provide some entertainment, I think
Fabulous little viggie
Thanks!
corellian_chic- Thank you!
Enelya_Sol- Poor Wes. Yeah, he's just not getting any breaks this week, is he?
Thanks for reading, guys!
-----signature-----
And the Bartender Says... http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/18513916/ Winner, Summer 2005 Fanfic Awards, Best Viggie: Wedge Antilles' Guide to Improvisational Parenting: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/18412918/
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CommanderConrad
Registered:
Jan '03
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Date Posted:
2/24/05 8:59pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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Janson was Janson to the very end. I liked that a lot. Very nice work.
-----signature-----
I dispense from this side judgments inexorable, without the least remorse.
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DarthIshtar
Title: Former CR
Star Wars Trivia Hostess
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
2/24/05 10:11pm
Subject:
RE: And the Bartender Says... (PilotFic Challenge Response)
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You're killing wes? how COULD you?
-----signature-----
I've finished reading Breaking Dawn!
Morale officer of the ACWDBTTCAOT.
"Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit." ~Virgil, Aeneid
"Ecce domino" (The pizza guy's here)
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