Jedi Council Forums - Bitter Medicine [Jag

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
Jags_Scoundrel Registered: Nov '03	Date Posted: 8/5/05 3:17am Subject: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Title: Bitter Medicine Author: Jags_Scoundrel Timeframe: Dark Nest, at the very end of the epilogue of The Joiner King Characters: Jagged Fel Genre: vignette, angst Summary: Jag reacts to his last conversation with Jaina Notes: I’ve got a couple of other projects that I just can’t seem to get finished, but this little bunny wouldn’t let me go until I wrote it. I’ve never tried writing in first person before, so I’m even more nervous than usual about how this came out. Obviously, this contains Joiner King spoilers. The usual disclaimers apply. Bitter Medicine Cl-ick. Cl-ick. Cl-ick. Concentrating on the measured rhythms of my boots striking the floor as I walk is the only way I can keep myself under control until I can reach the seclusion of my office. I know that I have only twenty-seven meters left to go, but it feels like twenty-seven kilometers. Drawing in a deep breath and then slowly exhaling it, I continue to focus on my footsteps. Cl-ick. Cl-ick. Cl-ick. I can only imagine what the Aristocra and the communications officers must be thinking. As soon as I had signaled for the transmission to be terminated, I had hastily excused myself and left before either my whirling emotions or my churning stomach could make an embarrassing display. I swear that I could almost have heard the disapproval in their penetrating red gazes anyway. Pathetic human. An irritated sigh escapes me. Stop thinking, I order myself, and keep walking. Cl-ick. Cl-ick. Cl-ick. After what seems like an eternity, I arrive at the doorway to my office. As I punch the controls to open the door, I notice that my hand is trembling. I shake my head with dismay and enter the room. Seven more paces bring me behind my desk and I finally collapse into my chair. For a moment, I stare blankly at the far wall. Now that I am alone, how do I let it all out? Break something? Scream? Cry? I feel so utterly lost that I do not even know how to react. I prop my elbows on my desk to cradle my head in my hands as I let out a long, shuddering breath. With great reluctance, I allow myself to replay the whole awful scene in my mind. The instant Jaina had stepped into view of the holorecorder, my heart had soared. I had missed her terribly. Knowing all of this time that she had been so near, yet so impossibly unreachable, had been agonizing. I had wished in that moment that I could have made her holoimage real and taken her into my arms. My private joy at seeing Jaina again had vanished a few milliseconds later as Zekk came into view. The mere sight of her standing with another man – especially one for which she used to have feelings – was disconcerting. I had been so thrown that I had not been able to hide my confusion. There had been so much that I wanted to say, but just could not – not with Zekk right beside her. Surely she had known that. Over the years, I had felt her drifting further and further away from me. Had this been the blunt Solo method of informing me that she was officially through with me? They – and I shudder now at the concept of they – had wanted to thank me for securing Lowbacca’s release. Reflecting on it now, my motivation to have him released seems a bit too selfish for my liking. The reasons that I had given – quite emphatically – to Aristocra Formbi were perfectly valid, but I know that my overriding concern had been more personal than I had implied. From the moment that I had heard of the rogue Jedi that had joined the Killiks – even before I had confirmation that Jaina was among them – it had been difficult to remain focused on the task at hand with the knowledge that my orders could possibly send Jaina or someone else that I had considered a friend to their death. To find myself on the opposite side of the battle lines from the woman I love had been a grueling experience, to say the least, but I somehow had swept my personal feelings aside to carry out my duty. But the thought of Jaina coming to rescue Lowbacca had troubled me greatly. I knew that Jaina would be ruthless in her attempt to free him, and I knew that my forces would be relentless in their attempt to stop her. In all likelihood, Jaina would have emerged from the resulting chaos unscathed . . . but even the remote possibility that she could be killed, or even merely wounded, by my direct order to stop her was more than I thought I could bear. I lift my head up out of my hands and frown. How had my thoughts gone off on such a tangent? I blow out a long breath as I lean back into my chair and stare up at the ceiling. Most likely, my subconscious is trying to avoid the most painful part. I close my eyes and force myself to confront it. Jaina and Zekk had said that they looked forward to seeing me again. Both of them? I could not have been more confused. They were staring back at me with the exactly the same look in their eyes and precisely the same smile on their faces. It was like finding the key piece of a wyrupcha puzzle – once you found it, the rest of the pieces just fell into place. All of the time that they had spent with the hive mind had left them indelibly linked together – two bodies, one mind. An icy sense of revulsion had slithered down my spine and then settled in my stomach, and I had to glance away. Somehow I had managed to compose myself long enough to pointedly wish them both well to let them know that I had received the message loud and clear. All of my hopes and dreams of a future with Jaina have been reduced to mere foolish flights of fancy. I open my eyes and permit the hot tears that I can feel building to slide unchecked down my face. A charric fired into my gut from point-blank range could not hurt more than this. Perhaps now I understand why Jaina chose to make the situation graphically clear to me. When I was a child, every time that I had become ill, Mother had given me what I thought at the time was the worst-tasting potion in existence. She had always responded to my protestations with the same answer: Sometimes, the most bitter medicine is the one that works best.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Maggy Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 8/5/05 3:41am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	you captured Jags feelings well ... sniffs it was so sad to see him suffer during this holo convo ... and Zekk ... he only had to think that they are together now well down, Scoundrel really like this vig ~Mags~ -----signature----- The Revenant - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b10477/28313064 - co authored with Jedi Ant "Maggy rawks " - YodaKenbi Proud Recipient of the Golden Elegos™
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
TKeira_Lea Registered: Oct '02	Date Posted: 8/5/05 4:08am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Wonderful! I can see how that bunny needed writing. The unknown about Jag's POV in TJK has been driving me nuts too. So it was very satisfying to see someone put down in words what poor Jag must have been going through. Thank you I really loved the viggie, even if I wanted to cry for Jag most of the way through. -----signature----- http://www.lominalecantina.com Dark Journey, the EU's version of a head fake current fanfic ~ Return to Bolis Island http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29571370/p1/?19
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Healer_Leona Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 8/5/05 4:16am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette] - Date Edited: 8/5/05 4:16am (1 edits total) Edited By: Healer_Leona
	I so have to start reading more of the EU. This viggie certainly seems to explain a lot of what's going on in a most exciting way. Felt very bad for poor Jag, but he seemed to hold himself together pretty decently till after the holcall. Excellent last line as well. -----signature----- Feel so good, but I'm old 2000 years of chasing's taking it's toll
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Lola64 Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 8/5/05 4:56am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Jag's POV was great. I hated to think this was how he felt. And you captured what I did imagine. Very heartwrenching and fantastically written. -----signature----- Kyp/Nurse Lola: the new ship I stalk people. It's a Lola thing. Been gone and is now back. Did you miss me?
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arin_Atona Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 8/5/05 5:28am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	There's an human under all that Chiss! Nicely done, Scoundrel. -----signature----- On the Shoulders of Giants http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=23575110 From the Empire, With Love http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=26258118
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
zettazofia Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 8/5/05 6:18am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Awww... Great job capturing his feelings right after that evil call. Really makes me feel even more for poor Jag... sigh Nice job, -Zetta -----signature----- ... J/J ... Go Wings! Woo hoo!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Thrawn McEwok Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '00	Date Posted: 8/5/05 6:25am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette] - Date Edited: 8/5/05 6:29am (2 edits total) Edited By: Thrawn McEwok
	Scoundrel: Poor Jag! Angry, disciplined, human, Chiss. Dark, deep, and ambiguous - and also far more personal than anything in the bug-hugging hive of what the Joiner Jedi were entangled in on the other side of the front line in the novel... He's all alone now, isn't he... [Full review to follow later - I'm sure you've been unconsciously quoting the movies again! ] - The Imperial Ewok -----signature----- A/T = OTP :===8[#]8===: Kyp/Jaina fans: stand up and be counted!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 8/5/05 6:38am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Wonderful! I'm reading The Joiner King now and this captured Jag perfectly! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 8/5/05 7:16am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	That was a very astute rendering of a difficult subject. I liked this, especially: Jaina and Zekk had said that they looked forward to seeing me again. Both of them? I could not have been more confused. They were staring back at me with the exactly the same look in their eyes and precisely the same smile on their faces. It was like finding the key piece of a wyrupcha puzzle – once you found it, the rest of the pieces just fell into place. All of the time that they had spent with the hive mind had left them indelibly linked together – two bodies, one mind. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Wynssa_Starflare Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 8/5/05 8:49am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Thank you for making Jag seem like the Jag from the NJO that everyone fell in love with. I couldn't believe in TJK that he would just let Jaina go like that. Let's cross our fingers that he feels this way and will be determined to get Jaina back. And ZEKK? That's more of something I have against TJK, but jeez. Zekk? Not happening, sorry. Get back to Jag, Jaina, and everything will turn out slightly better than okay. Great vig, by the way. ~ Wyn -----signature----- "Actually, I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting." - Ewan McGregor "It's not my fault!" - Han Solo, Lando Calrissian and C-3PO (notice, all male or masculine....)
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
jaynasolofel Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 8/5/05 11:20am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette] - Date Edited: 8/5/05 11:28am (2 edits total) Edited By: jaynasolofel
	My favorite part of The Joiner King.... is all this reactionary fanfic that it has caused! Jags_S It is great to read Jag's POV as well as some deeper emotion from him and his thoughts on the JoinerJaina. Since Jag was always open with Jaina regarding his love for her in the NJO, I found myself reading a lot into the small amount of page time he was allowed in TJK and I am hoping he emerges from the Dark Nest Trilogy more like the Jag you have written here. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of the Jag we all know and love! Wonderful. JaY And I hope DRL is treating you well. Edit: Just read your reply over at The Gift. I am glad all is well and yes life is crazyfun here too! And sometimes it feels like 3 yrs old going on 13 and I see dark visions of my future... -----signature----- Marriage is not the end.... they have an Empire to build.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
oldjedinurse Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 8/5/05 11:28am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	You put my own thoughts into words far more beautifully than I could have! A charric fired into my gut from point-blank range could not hurt more than this. Troy Denning, I hope you're listening. oldj -----signature----- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Csillan_girl Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 8/5/05 11:54am Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Wonderful... Poor Jag!! That's really the missing part of TJK. Let's all hope Jaina comes to her senses again. -----signature----- We're professionals. Don't try this at home. crazy, sexy, marvellous. Shadow Sith Army - Master, retired "Ensalada mista, Baby!!" ~ Rock Pelly: My Gartenzwerg pwns your Laaf!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JediJainaSoloFel Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 8/5/05 1:18pm Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	Wow this was amazing! A great insight to Jag's character during a really difficult time. I was really disappointed at the lack of Jag in TJK and it was great to see him portrayed so well here. It was very well written and broke my heart. Excellent Job! -----signature----- "I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."-Charles Swindoll "Stress, it's a killer" -Bartok from Anastasia
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JadeSolo Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 8/5/05 1:54pm Subject: RE: Bitter Medicine [Jag - Joiner King vignette]
	To find myself on the opposite side of the battle lines from the woman I love had been a grueling experience, to say the least, but I somehow had swept my personal feelings aside to carry out my duty. He's kind of Jedi-like, isn't he? -----signature----- "If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory." "May God bless you and keep you always...I mean that in a civic deist way." -Prof. Siegel "No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!"
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload