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Author	Topic: A Higher Purpose [TUQ AU] - Message from the Author - 6-21-06!!!!
Inara Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/6/05 9:33am Subject: A Higher Purpose [TUQ AU] - Message from the Author - 6-21-06!!!! - Date Edited: 6/21/06 2:11pm (52 edits total) Edited By: Inara
	Title: A Higher Purpose Cover Art: NEW: - Thanks, TrillianTK! OLD: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Summary: A Higher Purpose is an AU to The Swarm War. It describes the disfunction of the GFFA, a deeply divided Jedi Council, technological advancement, and the Killiks' secret agenda. But mostly, this story deals with the gritty reality of love and trust in a galaxy where morality has taken a back seat to convenience. In these troubled times, Tenel Ka and Jag Fel love the two people who have perhaps changed the most during the war with the Yuuzhan Vong. Jacen has grown more distant, less emotional, and he follows an obscure and higher purpose. Jaina has grown more willful and has masked her emotional vulnerability with the hardened cloak of battle. To compound matters, tensions in the galaxy reach unimaginable proportions. Now in opposite sides of the galaxy, Tenel Ka and Jag Fel ask themselves the same question - is the pain caused by a Solo worth love? The answers they find are not happy ones. And for those people who identify stories based on letters... This is a J/J, J/K, J/Z, TK/OC, J/OC, J/TK, H/L, L/M...need I go on? The point is - relationships stink. Nominated for the Crystal Reef Palace Auditorium's Spotlight Story for September! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Foreward: This takes place after The Joiner King. So beware of spoilers. Yes, there is Jaina/Jag and Jacen/TK - but not in a happy way. I'd like the offer an explanation before I begin. Having read The New Jedi Order series, I found it to be much more grim (like Jag!) than previous Star Wars novels. I began to read fan fiction to see other people's interpretations, and the more I read, the more my own idea developed on how these characters moved on after the war. I also noticed that most stories dealt with certain ships, many combinations of letters like J/J, J/K, J/TK, T/A, etc. I enjoyed most stories I read, but in the universe inside my head, I could not imagine these characters finding happiness without a certain amount of difficulty - and I don't just mean the people-are-trying-to-kill-them kind, but the mental kind. I wanted to see these relationships at their very worst because these characters were at their worst during the war. I also noticed that when Jaina or Jacen broke up with their respective others, it was often portrayed in a certain way, i.e. Jag/Tenel Ka were too grim, Kyp too insane, Zekk too simple-minded. It irked me, and not just because they were my favorite characters. It irked me because the break-up of a long standing relationship is a painful and complex thing. Glossing such things over does not do it justice. The questions that I wanted to ask were why do relationships crumble? How do the small silences and little dishonesties breed in the dark until they kill love? A Higher Purpose is a story about these breakups, and why these relationships might not work, might not be healthy. I wanted to challenge the assumptions in the 'breakup' cliche, such as the fact Jag/Kyp was guilty 9.75 times out of 10. But I didn't just want to write a story dealing with romance. These characters live in a tumultuous time, and their actions are guided by what's happening around them. Having read The Joiner King, I came up with a possible version (now an AU) to The Swarm War. Every event that happens is, I hope, a realistic possibility. It is within the framework of these situations that the characters can find the answers to their questions. There is nothing sugar coated in A Higher Purpose, and many of the situations and events the characters will face are brutal, and many of the decisions they make in response are disappointing. Like all my stories, I strive for realism, and while there is absolution in the end, the characters need to work to get there. Several of the protagonists in this series are original characters - Erelas Cracken and her brother Ezan, Thev'as'Irokini, Radik Ifernon and his mother Silnas. I created all of them in response to particular plot needs. As an author of original fiction, I was initially more comfortable with my own characters. No, Erelas isn't my avatar any more than Thev'as'Irokini is. I realize there's an assumption in fanfic that original characters (especially original female characters) must be either author self-insertion or a Mary Sue. Erelas is neither, nor are any of the other originals. I'd be a poor author if all I could write is myself. Each original character was created to fill a certain purpose - to help explain why relationships end. I'd love reviews sharing opinions of the story or the ideas I'm trying to get across. There are a lot of locations involved, so you can check out this map. I know that when I read a story, it helps for me to know where people are in the galaxy. 10/26/05: I'm also including a list of the main characters in this story. Each name links to an encyclopedia entry in case you want to know more about them. I don't expect most of my readers to know as much background information as I do, but I also realize that many of you might be missing out on the little hints and subtleties hidden in the story. As many of you know, I pick and choose some my characters carefully - a few were picked for a reason. So the more you know about each character, the clearer the story becomes. However, there is a catch. In the interest of keeping the story a surprise, I will post characters that I've already introduced. After each chapter, I will update this list with new characters. At the bottom, there is a list of original characters, and I will post short summaries for them next time. Dramatis Personae Canon Characters Alema Rar Ben Skywalker Cal Omas Cem Fel Cilghal Corran Horn Gilad Pellaeon Han Solo Isolder Jacen Solo Jae Juun Jaina Solo Jag Fel Jan Ors Kenth Hamner Kyle Katarn Kyp Durron Leia Organa Solo Luke Skywalker Mara Jade Skywalker Pash Cracken Raynar Thul Soontir Fel Shawnkyr Nuruodo Syal Antilles Fel Ta'a Chume Tarfang Tenel Ka Ulric Tagge Vergere Visas Marr Xendor Zekk Major Original Characters: Erelas Cracken Ezan Cracken Radik Ifernon Silnas Ifernon Thev'as'inrokini ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So there you have it. Now the story.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter One - Csilla Commander Jagged Fel strode down a spartan corridor on one of the Chiss Orbital Platforms of Csilla. He had just returned from Qoribu, and though he was exhausted, protocol demanded that he report to his superior officers first. Beside him walked Shawnkyr Nuruodo, the temporary commander of his Vanguard Squadron - and his truest friend. He spared a glance at his reflection in the smooth metal corridor - his black hair was neatly groomed, his uniform cleanly pressed. The only thing that looked funny was the fact that he was the shortest person in the entire station. But it was something he had gotten used to - after spending his life in the Ascendency, the only people shorter than him were his mother and sister, as well as the few random Chiss that were shorter than their brethren. Shawnkyr's nickname for him was Tako, which roughly translated into Basic as "shrub." He had been none too pleased with the nickname and had been horrified when his older brothers had gotten wind of it. Chak especially had several good laughs at his expense and had gone so far as to bring a potted shrub back from one of his tours with the Empire of the Hand. Now the plant was obsessively being taken care of by his mother. He shook himself out of his reverie as they approached the office of Admiral Dar'eka'Nuruodo. Two Chiss guards saluted as they entered the office. Inside, the office was furnished in typical Chiss efficiency, but there were a few concessions to the Admiral's personality in the room. Near his desk was a Mal'Rutha plant, a type of flower that had been common before the ice age had fallen on Csilla. On the far wall hung a beautiful painting of an ancient sea. Jag allowed his eyes to linger on the painting. Chiss were secretive of their art, and though he had spent his entire life among them, he had seldom seen their artwork. Jag knew that the Admiral was purposefully allowing him to see it, most likely in some subtle ploy. He sighed mentally and wondered why even a routine debriefing was complicated. Jag and Shawnkyr saluted and waited for the Admiral to salute back, as military courtesy dictated. The Admiral gazed at them with his piercing eyes for a few moments before he returned the salute. The officers then stood at attention as Jag said, "Admiral, we are reporting as ordered, sir." He kept his gaze fixed at a point just beyond the Admiral's left shoulder, and he knew Shawnkyr was doing the same. Admiral Rekan nodded. "Your prompt arrival is most appreciated, Commander Fel. Please, be at ease and sit down." He waved them over to a set of chairs near his desk. Jag allowed his body to relax slightly while he waited for Shawnkyr to sit. Once she was seated, he took the seat next to her before looking back to Rekan. The admiral was a distinguished veteran of several wars, and though the years had added lines to his face and white in his hair, his eyes still gleamed with intelligence and a sort of sleepy ferocity that once roused, made him a dangerous enemy. He was a scary person, and Jag was thankful he was an ally of his father's. "May I offer you refreshments?" inquired Rekan politely. Both he and Shawnkyr declined equally politely. "Very well." He took hold of a datapad. "Commander Fel, I have been keeping myself appraised of the battle over Qoribu. I understand that a home has been found for the Colony?" "Yes, sir. Captain Solo of the Galactic Alliance has found a suitable planet to be given to them. The Hapans will be transporting the nests in their battle cruisers." The insectoid race of Killiks had been threatening the borders near Chiss space for the past few years, and their Colony had set up Nests within attacking range of the Ascendency. Though normal Chiss policy forbade them from attacking the Colony first, the Killiks had grown more aggressive since the inclusion of Jedi into its hive mind meld, which had caused the destruction of five of the Chiss ruling families. Rekan nodded, his face inscrutable. "How long will it take?" "Several months. The nests need to be dissembled and then reassembled both inside the ships and then at their destination planet." Jag noted the tightness of the Admiral's jaw. "I will be glad when they are gone from our system. They will be the problem of the Galactic Alliance." Rekan frowned. "Though I wish they had let us deal with the Nests in our own way and not gotten their infernal Jedi involved." Here Jag flinched inwardly. One of those infernal Jedi was Jaina Solo. "Now the Colony is much more dangerous than before." Rekan's eyes wandered to the painting on the far wall. "At least they will be away from Chiss space." Shawnkyr spoke for the first time. "Admiral, if I may ask, what is the status of those Chiss we recovered from the Colony? Can they leave the meld?" "Distance and time lessens the hold of the meld, but those Chiss that fell under control of the Killiks can never return to the Ascendency. The danger is too great." He looked sorrowful for a moment. "Many of those we lost were good soldiers. But we cannot risk the remaining four families." His eyes returned to Jag's. "I understand that you have acted with courage and cunning in the battle. Thus the Chiss Navy is commending you, Commander Fel. You are now permantently in command of your battle fleet." Jag was shocked. He had not been expecting this. "Thank you, sir. I will do my utmost to uphold the honor of the Ascendency." The Admiral smiled slightly. "I know you shall. You have shown your dedication to the Chiss countless times, and though your human friends were our enemies at the battle, you did not falter and were ready to take appropriate actions against them. The Chiss appreciate what you would have done to protect your people." What was unspoken was that "your people" referred to the Chiss, not to humans. The Admiral turned to Shawnkyr. "Captain Nuruodo, you are being promoted to Commander. In addition to being in charge of Vanguard Squadron, you will have three additional squadrons under your command. I take it that you wish to stay with Commander Fel?" "Yes, sir." "Very well. I will have these orders processed within the day. You are both on leave for the next two weeks. Then you will report to your fleet." Jag and Shawnkyr both rose. "Yes sir." "Dismissed." They saluted and stepped back towards the door. Once in the hallway, Jag flashed a smile at Shawnkyr. "Not bad, hmm?" Shawnkyr nodded. "A just reward for your actions at Qoribu." Jag refrained from rolling his eyes. Perhaps he had spent far too much time with his own kind during the war, but sometimes a strange sort of humor bubbled in him that the Chiss did not understand. "When you are planetside, may I call upon you? Perhaps we can have dinner." She nodded. "That is acceptable." They made their way to the shuttle bay, said goodbye, and entered different shuttles. Hers would take hers to an estate to the north of Cselvar, a city to the south of the Chiss capital, Csalpar. He was headed to Csalpar, where his parents currently resided. The trip was short, and once at the spaceport, he took a speeder and headed home. It was still early in the day, so his father was most likely at work, and his sister would still be at the academy. His mother would be at home, however. He had not seen his family for the past year because of the situation with the Killiks. It would be nice to be at home. The drive was a boring one, since he spent most of it driving over glaciers, and so he allowed his thoughts to drift. And as usual, his thoughts drifted to Jaina Solo. He had been disappointed beyond measure when he had seen her sharing a meld with Zekk. In retrospect, he knew that he should not have been too surprised. She had proven herself to be capable of rash acts such as those. In more generous moments, he would admit that he had fallen in love with her passion and boldness. Her heart was filled with the need to save and protect - what more noble cause was there? But as time went on, his generous moments became fewer and fewer. Five years ago, after the end of the war, she had told him that she needed more time, that she needed to be sure she was able to offer more to her children than her mother had offered hers. She was still a Jedi and a pilot - she could not settle down just yet. He had accepted that answer back then. Had even understood it. But countless times she refused to consider anything more than hastily scheduled trysts whenever they were nearby. And in the past two years, they had not seen each other at all. And then of course there was Kyp Durron and Zekk - both of which eerily shared his coloring. Sometimes he wondered if Jaina just like the particular combination of black hair and green eyes. And though part of her still belonged to the other two men, Jaina had chosen him. Had chosen to love him. But eight years had passed since their first meeting. Jag knew that Jaina should know by now that her life would never be a calm one, that it was futile to wait for an ideal time to start a relationship. And perhaps she was content with waiting. But he was not. Jag was now twenty-seven years old. His father had three sons at this age. He wanted a family, he wanted children. He had wanted them with Jaina, but as the years passed, he had been forced to admit that perhaps his fantasy was an unreal one. She would always be a Jedi - and he expected nothing less from her. It just seemed that her life was incompatible with his. He would never leave the Ascendency. And Jaina's actions at the Colony hardly endeared her to the Chiss. But beyond these career issues, there was a far deeper reason for Jag's discontent. During the war, her disregard for the chain of command was in part acceptable due to her Goddess persona. But the war was over. She was no longer a goddess. so he could not understand why she dropped her duties to answer a call in her mind - and melded with Killiks. Tenel Ka had received the same call, but she had stayed true to her duties. Jaina's own family told her repeatedly to return. Older and more seasoned Jedi Masters had ordered her to go home. But in a typical show of Jaina willfulness, she had remained behind and had fueled a war. And he could not forget the number of Chiss soldiers she had killed to get to Lowbacca - who would not have been captured if Jaina had not sent him snooping around the Chiss fleet. Jag thrived on protocol. He actually liked following rules and regulations. He had an appreciation for codes of conduct as well as the penalties for violating them. He liked to wear starched uniforms, and he felt that displays of emotion during battle was innapropriate. He wondered how he could make a life with someone who disregarded the very things he stood for. Jag conceded the fact that she did warn him of the trap, but that was a personal favor to him. He felt uncomfortable being in her debt, and so he had returned Lowbacca to her using his own influence. It was his way of paying back the debt. But what had gotten to him the most was the way she had dealt with her brother's death. The loss of a brother was a painful thing - but it was not a special thing. Jaina had been so wrapped up in her pain that she had failed to see that others had lost brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters. She had faltered and had dabbled in the dark side, and Jag, who had lost two siblings, with a third missing and declared dead, secretly despised her weakness. Jag loved Jaina Solo, but he questioned whether love was enough. Shawnkyr had tactfully suggested he reevaluate his feelings towards her, and he had avoided it until now. Jaina was now melded to Zekk, and even if she were free of the meld, it would always be in the back of his mind that Zekk had been connected to her in such a way. And though Jag might have been willing to share her with the Force, he would not share her with another man. Shawnkyr's image replaced Jaina's in his mind, and he fondly traced Shawnkyr's features mentally. She had been his friend for almost fourteen years, and she had never failed him. But he had failed her - failed in her trust. He had been so in love with Jaina that he had neglected his friend and his duties as a Chiss officer during the war. Sometimes he thought that he did not deserve Shawnkyr. His father certainly thought so. But a part of him was glad that she had remained his friend. It was selfish of him, but he needed Shawnkyr's rational, calming influence in his life. He simply could not imagine life without her. It was one of the reasons why he had could never leave the Ascendency. He often found himself torn in two - he wanted to stay with Shawnkyr but then he wanted to be with Jaina. Thankfully, his family estate loomed ahead in the darkness. He parked the speeder and trudged towards the door, his travel bag slung over his shoulder. But before he even approached the threshold, the doors to his home burst open, and his mother ran out, wearing a parka. "Jag, I can't believe it's you!" "Mother," he said warmly. He held his arms open and was comforted by the reassuring feel of his mother. No warrior embraced Syal Antilles Fel. Instead, he was again safe in his mother's arms and breathing the scent of the cinnamon that permeated the holostar's body. Neither spoke for long moments as Syal cherished her son against her and buried her face in the soft black hair so different from her own. In her heart, Syal thanked the Force that her remaining family was still hers. Her fear had been beyond measure for so many long weeks, and she had wept at the glad news that Jag had survived the battle against the Killiks. Softly and hidden in the neck of Jag, Syal kissed her son many times and again wept a few tears of relief and joy. She wiped these signs of weakness against his jacket and tightened her own arms around his waist. Jag was here. All would be well. ******************** A short while later, they were both seated in the library as they shared a celebratory drink. They had spent the previous hour chatting, as he brought her up to date on all non-classified information, what Shawnkyr had been up to, and his plans for refitting his clawcraft. She in turn had told him of the Baron's recent interest in acquiring a pet and of Wyn and Cem's progress at school. Then mother and son sat in silence, as they enjoyed their reunion. His mother was clad in a white day dress, her golden hair in a braid down her back. She looked at peace as she idly patted the leaves of Chak's shrub. Other than Shawnkyr, his mother knew him best. Sensing his eyes upon her, Syal looked up with knowing eyes. "Jag, you are not as happy as I expected you would be after the Admiral's announcement." "Oh, I am," he said quickly. "It's just that...I have things on my mind." "You are thinking of Jaina Solo," she said knowingly, cutting right to the core. He covered his face with his hands. “I love Jaina,” he admitted. “Perhaps not enough to be what she wants, but I do love her.” “Do you,” and she said no more, her voice blending with the sounds of the house, the hum of the heaters, the roar of the fire. Jag turned to her sharply, astonished, and she smiled in amusement. “Well, what did you wish me to say? You can hardly expect me to comfort you in this, and you surely do not need to be told that you are a fool.” Jag laughed bitterly. “No, I know that for myself.” “Well, am I to encourage you to end this silly infatuation? “I do not know if I can.” She shrugged. “I imagine that you will be obliged to, eventually.” She took another sip from her glass. “Are you feeling guilty for almost having to kill her – and perhaps for secretly being joyous that her life is a bigger disaster than yours? Do you wish for me to assuage your conscience?” He shook his head. “No, on that account I manage well enough myself, I suppose.” For the first time, impatience entered her ageless eyes. “Let me ask you something. What are you hoping for, Jag? She is a Jedi, born of impetuous parents. She has her own path to follow, and time and time again, she has pushed you from it. She is so busy wrapped up in her pain that she has failed to see yours." “I want nothing,” he answered. “I cannot help loving her.” "But she can help loving you." And as Jag gasped at the blow, she went on smiling as she used to do when he had been much younger, ruthless in the administration of what she perceived to be a cure. “It must have occurred to you many a time, but have hope, for there is always the possibility that Kyp Durron and Zekk will perish in a Jedi battle.” Jag cried out at the cruelty of his mother's words. “It's not like that! I would never wish either of them dead.” The ruthlessness gone from the her eyes, for she perceived that her words had struck home, she wrapped a gentle arm around her soon. “Jag, I do not mean to hurt you. But sometimes I feel that you insist on maintaining this love out of a foolish hope.” She patted his knee. “It could be,” he admitted honestly. “But I try not to make it so.” He closed his eyes. “I hate the shadow that lies upon her and all her Jedi kin. Every time I see her, she grows darker and darker.” “It is the curse of the Jedi.” She examined Jag closely. “May I ask you something?” “Of course,” he said, fully aware that his mother would ask anyway. “When you fell in love with Jaina, you gave up command of Vanguard Squadron in order to be with her in Twin Suns. That was quite a sacrifice, for I know how much it meant to you when you were given command of Vanguard. So I ask you - would you have given up command for Shawnkyr?" He stared at Syal for a long time before answering. “I cannot believe,” he said steadily, “that she ever would have placed me in the position of having to do so.” Satisfied, she directed her attention back to her drink. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Chapter: What is going on in Tenel Ka's mind? And what are the twins doing? -----signature----- "The Sun Crusher was originally conceived as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn." http://www.thedarknest.com Dark!Horny!Jacen 1 6177 86515
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FelsGoddess Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 9/6/05 9:37am Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, J/J and J/TK breakup fic)
	I just found this. I'll have to read it later though because I have to go to class. -----signature----- Knighted by Tahi
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JediTristan Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 9/6/05 9:56am Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, J/J and J/TK breakup fic)
	ooOOoooohhh....I am impressed! This is exciting! You do make it j/j seem a little impossible...but not in a bad way. I like this piece a whole bunch and I can't wait to see what you do with it. Cheers! -----signature----- The Empire, she is beautiful, no? I wonder that Skywalkers always come back to despotism. It seems the only way for them to stay in control, to make sure the galaxy is run right. Everything I tell you is a lie.
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zettazofia Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 9/6/05 4:03pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, J/J and J/TK - A breakup fic looking into two fractured relationship
	Hmmm... Very interesting. And depressing because it makes J/J seem quite unlikely and impossible. Yes, Jaina's selfish, but there's more to it than that. And while I think Jag likes following the rules, I think he likes that Jaina doesn't always do that, too. I'm eager to see what you do with J/TK's relationship. Nice job, Zetta -----signature----- ... J/J ... Go Wings! Woo hoo!
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Inara Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/6/05 5:57pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, J/J and J/TK - A breakup fic looking into two fractured relationship - Date Edited: 3/14/06 7:43am (3 edits total) Edited By: Inara
	Thanks for the comments guys - bear with me on this story - I promise there is hope for everyone. Chapter 2 - Hapes Sitting alone in her private jungle garden, Tenel Ka skimmed over a datapad filled with her usual morning briefings. Though she was not really alone - several dozen courtiers hovered nearby - the queen simply tuned them out. "Anila?" Her aide appeared instantly. "Yes, your majesty?" Anila was a typical Hapan beauty, blond haired and blue eyed, but unlike most of her peers, she had interests that stretched beyond Hapan politics, which made her an ideal assistant. "It says here that my meeting with Lord Droekle is cancelled." She frowned. "I was under the impression that he needed to see me urgently." Anila pulled out her own datapad. "He contacted me late last evening and informed me that he has contracted the Tuskarian Fever. He does not wish to expose your majesty to the vile disease." Tenel Ka's mouth twitched. "How thoughtful of him." She patted her intricately braided red hair. "Am I meeting anyone else this morning?" "Yes, my Queen. You have an appointment with Erelas Cracken. If you recall, you asked if she would meet with you to discuss a possible contract." "Ahh. That is a meeting I look forward to with much anticipation." Tenel Ka took a sip of her caf. Erelas Cracken was the daughter of the illustrious Pash Cracken and Averil Secura. She was, besides being the daughter of two prominent Rebellion heroes, a gifted engineer who had inherited Airen Cracken's talents. Tenel Ka had begged as much as her station would allow for the talented woman to consider a contract with Hapes. Tenel Ka's navy, while powerful, was falling behind in technology. It had been a chance meeting in the midst of war for the two women. Tenel Ka had stood behind her in line while they waited in the mess hall on Admiral Kre'fey's warship. The two young soldiers had began talking, and a sort of tentative understanding had been formed. Later, after the war, she had run into Erelas again, this time on Contruum. She had been visiting her family, and Tenel Ka had been there to meet with Cal Omas. Wedge Antilles had introduced Erelas as one of the most talented ship designers he had ever known. From that moment, the Hapan Queen had kept her eye on Erelas, waiting for the moment to lure the young woman into her service. "Has she arrived at the palace?" Tenel Ka sat up straight and began to think of ways to impress the woman enough to stay indefinitely. Anila nodded. "She has brought her brother with her. They are in the southeast lounge." The queen rose suddenly, and with her, all her courtiers. "I will see her now." "But your meeting with her is not for another hour, your majesty." Anila looked alarmed. She never liked it when her queen was spontaneous. "Please ask them if they would be adverse to meeting me earlier than anticipated. Tell them that my morning schedule has cleared up and that they need not wait so long." She held up a hand to stall Anila's protests. "Remember, I am the one who asked to see her. There is no need for me to make her wait." Anila nodded. "Where would you like to receive them?" Tenel Ka walked back towards the palace. "My private courtyard." Her aide bowed and then hurried off, leaving her with several courtiers who followed her none too discreetly. But before she could say anything to them, she felt a familiar presence envelop her senses. Jacen. A moment later, a tall man with sun-streaked brown hair walked towards her, his eyes twinkling. "I see you have a tail," he said, referring to the courtiers. "Ahh, them." She shrugged dismissively as she accepted his arm. "Friend Jacen, I am surprised to see you here. This visit, like your previous ones, is unexpected." Jacen chuckled. "Your guards have enough sense to stay out of my path. But I guess it does help since everyone thinks I'm your consort." He leaned down and kissed her warmly, in front of all her courtiers. "If you really were my consort, I would have so many spys watching you that you would not be able to surprise me anymore." Tenel Ka said this in jest, but as usual, her humor came out too truthfully. "So why are you here, Jacen? You cannot need another fleet." They strolled down the open hallways. "I have actually come to thank you for loaning me your fleet." He had come to Hapes a few months ago and had asked Tenel Ka to send over part of her fleet to Qoribu, to keep the battle between the Chiss and Killiks from escalating. "How rare it is to receive personal thanks from anyone these days." She kept her voice idle, but she knew that Jacen could detect her emotions in the force. He stopped suddenly, looking like he wanted to say more but being unable to do so, being surrounded by so many courtiers. "I did not intend for you to think I have used you." Tenel Ka shook her head. "But you have." She resumed walking. "And I am not in any position to be offended. I too have used you, Jacen." She looked at his face, which once had always been so open but was now carefully blank. "I only wish things could be simple like they were at the academy." But wishing was a moot point, she knew. The Jacen of the past had told terrible jokes and brought home all sorts of creatures as pets. The Jacen of the present was distant and seemed to exist on a level of existence even higher than hers. Over the past few years, he had grown steadily stronger in the force, and it would only be a matter of time before he surpassed Luke Skywalker. Many in the Jedi Order, Mara Jade and Jaina included, were uneasy with Jacen's new philosophies as well as the lengths he would go to to uphold what he thought was right. Jacen's contention that the Jedi should answer only to the Force and not to any government was a troubling one. Many, such as Corran Horn, thought that Jacen's beliefs were dangerous to the Order. He was supported to a certain extent by Mara Jade and Kyp Durron, but none of them had the potential to wreak as much havoc as Jacen. It was as if Jacen had bridged the gap between light and dark, as if he was beyond good and evil. He no longer saw the universe the way others did, and he acted accordingly. Even the incident with the Killiks...Jacen had played a strange role. On the surface, he was working on behalf of the Killiks, as his sister Jaina was. But after the battle, Tenel Ka had sat down and really thought about the situation. Jacen had not just been helping the Killiks. He had been using them, just as he had used the Chiss and the Hapans. He was working towards some goal that Tenel Ka did not see. It disturbed her, but at the same time, she loved him and so did not say anything. He loved her too, but his love, like everything else about him, was no longer the same. Tenel Ka was shaken out of her musings by the sound of Anila's voice. "Your Majesty!" The queen looked up to see her aide. "I have deposited your guests in your private courtyard." "Thank you, Anila. You are dismissed. I shall see to them myself." Anila bowed and departed just as quickly. "Would you like to come with me?" asked Tenel Ka. "I could use your opinion." Jacen looked curious. "On what?" She led him towards her courtyard. "On who," she corrected. "After painstaking machinations, I have convinced Erelas Cracken to come to Hapes. I need to convince her to upgrade my fleet." "Don't you have engineers for that?" "Yes, but they are Hapan. Erelas has studied using both New Republic and Imperial guidelines." She looked at Jacen curiously. "I understand that you know her?" Jacen squinted as he tried to remember. A memory of a laughing dark-haired girl came to mind. "When we were children. I remember playing with her at some diplomatic functions. It must have been fifteen years ago." He tapped his chin. "Though I do remember Jaina talking about her. She said that Erelas reminded her of an Imperial." Tenel Ka nodded. "Her mother is Averil Secura - I researched the story. It is very interesting." "Well, I know of Averil. My dad says she's scary." He turned curious eyes upon his friend. "What did you find out in your research?" "Averil Secura is from a very prominent Imperial family on Anaxes. She met Pash Cracken when he was enrolled at Venesnor Academy. She defected when he graduated, but in doing so, caused a rift with her brother, Elian. Their father was an Imperial Admiral who had some sort of connection to Thrawn. Since Averil left Anaxes, she has not spoken a single word with her brother, even to this day." Tenel Ka smiled at a couple passing by. "Pash Cracken and Averil were happy enough and had two children, Erelas and Ezan. However, somehow Erelas got into contact with her uncle's family. After the war, she spent a good deal of time in the Imperial Remnant, where she consulted with their naval engineers. Averil was furious, but Pash managed to keep the two women in a shaky truce." Jacen whistled. "That's good enough to be a holodrama." "Fact," said Tenel Ka seriously. "To add to the situation is Erelas's engagement to an Imperial officer." "And you want her to build your ships?" Jacen looked doubtful. "I don't know, my friend." The queen looked amused. "She may have Imperial leanings, but she is not an Imperial." They swept into a crowded atrium, where many people waited for an audience with the queen. It was then that they came upon two tall humans, newly arrived and quietly so but not unmarked. Indeed, it was not possible for them to have slipped in unnoticed. Both carried themselves with fell grace and were fair even by Hapan standards. They are the Crackens, Tenel Ka thought with satisfaction, allowing Jacen to hear her thoughts. She excused herself and went to greet her guests. Jacen stared at them with open interest. Their parents' exploits were legendary; they were spoken of even among the Jedi with awe and respect. The man, Ezan, was perhaps twenty or so, and an up and coming pilot. The woman, Erelas, was a gifted engineer. They were attired almost entirely in black, in comfortable yet fashionable clothes. Both siblings were black haired, neither having inherited their sire's flame-colored hair. But Ezan had his green eyes, which were crinkled in amusement. Erelas, on the other hand, had twilight grey eyes. As Ezan spoke to Tenel Ka in greeting, his sister let her eyes sweep the atrium, a speculative gleam in their depths as she observed the various people that lingered in their vicinity out of curiosity. Without warning, her gaze alighted on Jacen. While under that silvery regard, he did his best to return the gaze as steadily as possible. The twilight grey eyes considered him a while longer then turned away, releasing him abruptly from their spell. But not for long. She addressed the queen, and Tenel Ka suddenly looked at Jacen. With a smile, she beckoned her friend to approach. Jacen took a deep breath and obeyed. Once more the silvery gaze was upon him. "Friend Jacen, this is Erelas and Ezan Cracken," said the queen. "Commander Cracken, I understand that you know Jacen." It was a subtle ploy for Tenel Ka to address Erelas by her former military rank, as if to remind her that she was still a woman who served. "We were playmates in our younger years." She held out her hand. "It is good to meet you again, Knight Solo." Jacen nodded, hearing her voice for the first time. Low, melodious, soothing in a strangely sensual way. Tenel Ka placed a hand on her shoulder. "She is a very talented shipbuilder, and I am hoping that she will consider working here for a while." This was said with a pointed glance at the taller woman. "Not so talented, though," said Erelas with an upturned brow. Tenel Ka was delicate and striking, Jaina beautiful like his mother, Tahiri willowy. But this woman had a different quality altogether. Beauty certainly, but something older, sharper, more clever... Jacen moved closer, motivated by instinct rather than a deliberate choice, like a child who smells something he can't quite place and would follow the scent to its source. His senses flared up strong as burning sage. A swirl of impressions from the other woman washed over Jacen; he picked them apart seeking the one thread that interested him. Wildness. White-gray wildness. That was what Jacen had sensed in her. Not cruelty, or passion, or even arrogance. Nothing so simple. Under that polished, educated exterior and despite her engineering talents, Erelas Cracken was not a tame thing. She longed to run free even as she longed for safety and concealment. She lived by her wits and her caution, and a wise man did not trust her. She would turn and bite if threatened, or flee and never look back. She was a huntress, a predator that should never be caged. A shiver went up his spine. "Perhaps we can speak in private?" Her guards following a small distance behind, Tenel Ka led Erelas and Jacen through the crowd, with Ezan opting to remain behind. She swept into her private courtyard and gestured for her guests to be seated. "I want to thank you for coming so quickly." Erelas smoothed her hair. "You were lucky that I was nearby. Else it might have been months before I came here." Jacen smiled inwardly. Her parents might have been Rebels, but they raised their children as befitting their rank. Even their accents were cultured. "I forwarded several datafiles to you," continued Tenel Ka. This time Jacen allowed his smile to show. Tenel Ka always got straight to the point. "Will you accept my offer? I will pay you handsomely - more than you will get any place else." The engineer looked uncomfortable. "The offer is a generous one, but I do not think I can accept it. You are asking me to upgrade your entire fleet - this will take a few years at the least." "You will be busy?" demanded the queen. "Not exactly," said Erelas delicately. "But I have pressing personal matters." Tenel Ka signalled a servant to bring them refreshments. "If you mean your fiance, he will be allowed on Hapes to see you." Though her face did not show her surprise, both Jedi felt it. "Your Majesty is certainly aware of my situation then." "So you will accept?" "May I have the night to think upon it?" she asked politely, though Jacen could tell she had already come to a decision. She wants to discuss this with her brother, he thought to Tenel Ka. Those two do not fail each other, she thought in agreement. Saying aloud, "Of course, if you wish it. Please stay as my guests here tonight. And I hope that on the morrow, you will move to a more permanent suite." Tenel Ka looked up to see her aide beckoning her. "Jacen, will you please keep Erelas company while I attend to a small matter? I will meet both of you for the midday meal." "It will be my pleasure." Both of them rose as Tenel Ka hurried out. Jacen turned to Erelas. "You might as well accept." She raised her eyebrows at that. “She is quite – single-minded,” she commented. Jacen chuckled ruefully. “Relentlessly so if it suits her purpose,” he agreed. He gestured to the tray of fruits that rested on the table between them. "Hapan pears will probably be one of the most succulent foods you'll ever eat." Erelas smiled slightly, and the sight unsettled Jacen even further. He had not thought it possible for her to be any more comely. "No doubt a subtle ploy? Perhaps it would be best if I refrained, else I shall be unfairly biased in my decision on whether to remain or leave." "That leaves more for me." He began to munch as one bent on showing the other person how much she was missing. Erelas, to her credit, kept her eyes on her glass of chilled fruit nectar. "So, Commander, I understand that you spent some time in the Imperial Remnant." "Yes, quite a few years actually. And you need not call me commander. You may address me as Erelas. I left the military after the war ended." She eyed the pear cautiously, as if trying to discern the inherent dangers in becoming addicted to it. Jacen, now finished with one pear, began eating another. "What have you been doing since then?" "I spent a few months under the tutelage of an Omwati scientist. What about you?" "Master Skywalker sent me to bring back a force-sensitive child from a small village called Higher Cut Meat." Erelas's lips twitched. "Higher Cut Meat -- ?" " -- is a village . More or less. If you blink, you'll miss it." "Is there a Lower Cut Meat, too?" Her response startled a laugh out of him, more because it was unexpected than because it was funny. "In fact, there is," he replied. They had finished eating and just sat there grinning at each other. "Erelas?" It was Ezan. Jacen jumped slightly, like a schoolboy caught daydreaming, and turned to see the handsome young man standing in the doorway. "Anila said that if both of you wished, we can head to lunch." She placed her glass back on the table. "That is most acceptable." She looked at Jacen. "Will you be coming with us, Knight Solo? Or do you lack space in your stomach from all those pears?" "It's Jacen, and of course I have space." He shared an understanding glance with Ezan, as if only a woman would be full from a measly two pears. He rose and followed the siblings out the door. They quickly made their way through the throng of Tenel Ka's admirers. "Why are so many of them missing limbs?" asked Ezan curiously. Jacen flashed a roguish grin. "They are emulating their monarch." He led them to a table set outside. Various Hapan nobles sat in various places. He noticed that Tenel Ka had not arrived yet. Anila approached them with a welcoming smile. "Commander Cracken, Lieutenant Cracken. I will take you to your seats. Knight Solo, Her Majesty wishes to see you before lunch begins." "Of course." Jacen bowed to the Crackens before heading to the small sitting room where he knew Tenel Ka would be waiting for his observations. He stretched out in the force and once again sought out the bright presence that was Erelas. She was not dangerous, at least not in the usual way. She seemed to be a genuine person, but something about her unsettled him. There had been some sort of secret knowledge hovering in her argent eyes, but she was too carefully controlled for him to tell what exactly she knew. "Well?" Tenel Ka was leaning on a chair, her face betraying an unusual impatience. "I don't think she's dangerous." Jacen spoke freely for the first time all afternoon. This room was one of the few places safe from eavesdroppers and their equiptment. Tenel Ka narrowed her eyes. "But what?" Jacen struggled to articulate his thoughts. "She is wise in the ways of the galaxy," he said finally. "I think you will find her difficult to manipulate." "That is good." Tenel Ka sounded very pleased. "It will be nice to have such a person around." The queen looked thoughtful. "She is very beautiful." Here Jacen looked uneasy. "Yes, about that." Tenel Ka waited for him to finish. "She uses her beauty and her pride as weapons. At least that was the impression I received. But it could also be what she wanted me to think. She struck me as a woman in control of herself." "Then she will be suited to survive Hapan society." Tenel Ka sighed. "I need her expertise. And I need a woman. Too few of the galaxy's talented engineers survived the war, and most of them are male. It will be easier for a woman to work here." Jacen drew his friend into a comforting embrace. Soon her lips had found his, and they spent the next several moments sharing a heated kiss. But finally he drew away, placing distance between them. Tenel Ka sighed in frustration. "Jacen, you do not need to pretend to be my consort." "I cannot stay here with you, Tenel Ka. My path is one that takes me from place to place." "You cannot mean to wander the galaxy as an aimless vagabond forever!" Jacen's face hardened slightly. "Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little bit to test that it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain." Tenel Ka looked away in sadness. "I deserve more than proverbs from you, Jacen." His eyes softened. "You deserve more than I can give you. But know that you have my love. It is all I am able to give." Yes, but for how long? The unspoken thought hovered between them. Tenel Ka broke the silence and said stiffly, "My guests are waiting." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Later that evening, Tenel Ka meditated in her quiet chambers. It was a rare moment of peace for her, and she desperately needed to meditate. Jacen was troubling her more and more. They loved each other, but she could not understand why he would not commit to her. She had at first thought it was because he did not want to be consort to a queen, but he assured her that it was not the case. She had told him that he was free to come and go as he pleased. He would not be required to have a role in Hapes as long as he maintained a role in her life. Yet time and again, Jacen kept their relationship casual, something that he could rely on for comfort and love. But Tenel Ka was faced with rumors and plots on a daily basis, and if she did not take a husband soon, serious doubts would be cast upon her. She needed to leave behind an heir in case something happened to her. Tenel Ka loved Jacen and would under other circumstances wait forever, but times were different. She had her own responsibilities as a queen. But she did not know which direction she could go. She and Jacen had spent the last ten years in some semblance of a relationship - and she, like everyone else, had assumed that one day she and Jacen would get together. Granted, the war with the Yuuzhan Vong and her mother's early death had changed things, but their feelings had remained constant. They had survived so much together. So why was it that things were becoming difficult? She had talked about love being a decision, and still believed it to be true, but in their case, it had mostly been an excuse. Tenel Ka was worried that they had become a habit, not a couple, and it had been a long time since they had pushed each other, made each other think, or had a conversation - much less a debate - about anything not related to Hapes or the Force. She wondered when that had gotten lost. And it wasn't fair to either of them to hang on out of misplaced duty. She deserved better than to be his security blanket. Since returning from his five year journey, Jacen was stronger and more confident in himself. He no longer needed her to protect him from Anakin and especially Jaina. It was as if he knew what he wanted, and Tenel Ka was simply not on the list. How ironic that as Jacen grew in confidence, she grew less sure of herself. Some mornings she woke to the uneasy feeling that her personality was becoming lost in the mire of Hapan politics. Part of her wanted to hurt him by taking another lover, to prove to him that she did not need him. But it was not in her nature to be spiteful, and more importantly, she feared to discover that he did not need her. That in fact, he had remained with her as a favor to her, as if he knew how much she loved him and felt sorry for her because of it. To be fair to Jacen, he would never intentionally hurt her. And he honestly believed that things could go on this way - a strange bit of naivete from a man who had experienced many of the galaxy's inequities. They were both lying to themselves, but the question was, who would step forward and face the truth first? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next chapter: What the twins are thinking. I know I said I'd get to Jaina in this chapter, but it was getting too long. -----signature----- "The Sun Crusher was originally conceived as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn." http://www.thedarknest.com Dark!Horny!Jacen 1 6177 86515
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FelsGoddess Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 9/6/05 9:50pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, J/J and J/TK - breakup of two fractured relationships) - Updated!!
	Everything you said at the begining, excelelnt points. She had proven herself to be capable of rash acts such as those. Thats the understatment of the century. Her whole family defines rash. I wonder that myself. Why did Jaina do that? I love who you are portraying Jag. Poor guy. Jacen needs a good hit to the head. Jaina too. What on earth were they thinking. I'll volunteer to do it. Great start! I look forward to more! -----signature----- Knighted by Tahi
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zettazofia Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 9/7/05 2:33pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, J/J and J/TK - breakup of two fractured relationships) - Updated!!
	poor tenel ka.... amd poor jacem needs his head examined as much as jaina. still looking forward to more -Zetta -----signature----- ... J/J ... Go Wings! Woo hoo!
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Inara Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/7/05 7:46pm Subject: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK) - Updated 9/7 - Date Edited: 9/13/05 12:43am (1 edits total) Edited By: Inara
	Thanks for the comments . Chapter 3 - Ossus It was evening on Ossus, the warm spring afternoon a welcome change from the past week of continuous rain. Several of the Jedi instructors had taught class outside today, and many more were walking through the gardens that surrounded the Jedi Academy. Jaina Solo sat on the mossy riverbank as she took advantage of the wonderful day. The past week's weather had matched her mood, but the sun had a way of chasing the shadows away from her. Her uncle had insisted that Jaina refrain from participating in any more missions until the effects of the Killik hive meld wore off. Clighal had done her best in trying to understand what had happened to her, Tahiri, Tekli, Tesar, and Zekk, but this was an area that few had ventured. Her uncle had suggested that they contact the Chiss since they were most familiar with the psychology of Joiners, but Mara had vetoed it. She knew how much the Chiss feared the Killiks and was afraid of what answer they would receive. However, each day it was becoming more apparent that the five Jedi, plus Lowbacca, would be doomed to enter into a heightened mental awareness with other strike team members. They were slowly becoming to dislike being near one another, which was cause for much concern. Jedi traditionally operated in pairs, but now six of them could not bear being near one another for too long. Only Jacen was spared from this, but whether this was due to a shorter exposure to the Killiks or his heightened mental powers was unknown. To make the situation worse, many people felt uncomfortable being in their presence, especially since only Lowbacca did not make the clicking noise. Jaina's father tried to keep from being obvious about it, but even he had problems adjusting to his daughter's new behavioral habits. Part of Jaina wanted to flee and go as far away as possible from the other Joiners. But the other part of her could not bear the thought of being separated from them. It was a difficult situation that stupefied the Masters and kept Jedi council meetings fruitless. Beyond the hive meld, Jaina's status as a Jedi Knight was also being questioned. She had willfully disobeyed orders twice - first when she abandoned her duties and fled to Qoribu, and once again, when Luke had asked her to return with them. She had not been the only one to do so, and perhaps if her only offense had been answering the call of the Killiks, she might have been forgiven. But the second offense was what had gotten her in trouble. Jaina had agreed to serve the Jedi Council, and that included listening to the Masters. But she had refused to follow orders. She had, according to Kenth Hamner, acted as a rogue Jedi. In half an hour, she was scheduled to appear before the Council, where they would investigate the situation and determine her fate as a Jedi. "A credit for your thoughts?" Jaina blinked and focused on the present. Standing in front of her was Zekk, his dark hair still shaggy despite numerous attempts to tame it. Dressed in a loose-fitting tunic and baggy pants, he looked like a young man without a care in the world - until one looked into his eyes and saw the worry brewing in them. "Hi." He took a seat next to her, and as expected, she could feel him in her mind. But Zekk, to his credit, did his best to respect her privacy. "It won't be as bad as you think," he finally said. "No, this time I deserve it. I saw it in Mara's eyes. She's so disappointed, everyone's disappointed." Jaina rubbed her arms to ward off the sudden chill she felt. "Even Kyp." Zekk's eyes flashed. "But you were trying to prevent a war! Surely they see that." Jaina suddenly felt a surge of affection for Zekk. Of all her friends, only Zekk had stuck with her through the entire mess with the Killiks. He believed in her. He loved her. "Thanks for your support, Zekk. But I think this day was long in coming. I have to face the future." She caught sight of a young apprentice approaching them. It was Mingaf, one of the Academy's newest recruits. "Knight Solo," she began in accented Basic, "I am here to escort you to the Jedi Council." Jaina and Zekk rose. "I'll let you know how it goes," she said. He gave her a reassuring hug. "You'll come out fine." She followed Mingaf down the familiar hallways, once again wondering what would happen. She had never faced an inquisition before, and she had never thought to ask. Jaina hoped her mother would not be present. Facing her mother's disappointment would be the hardest of all. The doors opened into the council room. Cautiously Jaina stepped inside, the doors closing behind her silently. "Welcome, Knight Solo," said her uncle, positioned centermost, arrayed in his Jedi robes, emanating a near-tangible aura of predominant authority, the unquestioned leader in this room of leaders. Humbled and somewhat awe-stricken though she was, Jaina only nodded. "Come," Luke commanded easily in his strong and sonorous voice, indicating the vacant chair, like their own, that stood alone at Jaina's side of the table. For once, she obeyed without hesitation; in here, Luke's word was law and everyone knew it; in his hand lay the power to make or break Knights, power she innately respected. She was comforted somewhat to feel Zekk's luminous presence gently brush her mind amid the general glow of the Masters, to know her friend had resolved to see this through along with her, maintaining his vigil in the courtyard. "You are acquainted with everyone assembled here," Luke continued, as she slid into her chair. Jaina took a moment to scan the faces in the room. Mara sat to his right, Kam Solusar to his left. Tionne, Kyp, Kyle Katarn and Clighal sat beyond Kam. Next to Mara sat Kenth Hamner, Saba Sebatyne, Corran Horn, and Octa Ramis. All wore equally blank expressions, and all shielded their thoughts and feelings from her. It was like facing a blank wall. "Knight Solo, you have been summoned here to answer questions regarding your conduct as a Jedi Knight." Luke's voice, like his face, did not betray any emotions. As head of the Council, he was required to maintain his impartiality - even though it was his niece's life that was in question. "The Council has spent the past two hours reviewing the situation." He leaned forward. "Now, before we begin, do you have any questions?" Jaina felt nausea well up inside her. For the first time in a long time, she felt fear. "No, sir." He nodded. "Very well." Inauspicious enough, yet there was an elusive quality about his voice that worried her. "As head of this council, it is my ordained duty to know all that I can of the Jedi that are members of the Order, within the boundaries of the Galactic Alliance and otherwise, who are lawfully beneath my jurisdiction.” Luke stated. “ When you took the oath of the Jedi, you agreed to follow the Jedi Code, did you not?" "Yes." Luke smiled. "Good, we are in agreement on where you stand." Jaina felt nervous. Had her behavior gotten so out of hand that some people questioned her oath? Luke continued, "Since this is a review of your service, the Council has examined your past actions as well as your recent ones." Luke tapped a datapad in his hand. "Though the Jedi Academy is loosely run, we keep track of all students and their actions as it pertains to the Jedi Order." Jaina was suddenly burning with curiosity to know what that datapad contained. "I have been compiling sundry notations in your records for quite some time," Luke explained, glancing over another page, full of who knows what; "and in some detail. Do not think me not thorough in these matters." Jaina did not doubt it. Her uncle had devoted his entire life to the Order. Obviously he would be thorough. She listened as her uncle briefly reviewed some of her actions at the Jedi Academy. Jaina listened as a chastened subordinate as Luke touched on the key points, favorable and otherwise, of her youth. Every word of it was true. "In every case, you were commended for your courage and valor, though also for pride and obstinacy." His blue eyes burned into her. "Are these statements correct, Knight Solo?" "Yes, they are correct, Master Skywalker." Jaina felt Zekk's distant presence waver and draw back for a moment, as though caught where he should not have been. Yet Luke seemed yet unaware or, more likely, simply unconcerned. "You proved your mettle in the war with the Yuuzhan Vong," Luke continued. "Your campaign itself was nothing but a success," he admitted. "The few who were with you that I was able to speak with seem to revere you. You led your pilots quite effectively through a long and bleak war, maintained them in their pride, and they love you for it. Though I have yet to ascertain positively whether your valor was inspired by concern for the ultimate fate of the Galactic Alliance, even of the galaxy as a whole, or rather by your own stubborn pride." That stung. "It was a combination of both, Master." "I thought so. I admired you for your courage, though I also at times deemed it foolish and futile. Foolish I may still call it. Yet the war itself was won on naught but a fool’s hope. You resolved in the end never to concede to evil, and for that you have my praise." This came as something of a surprise. She had not expected to find much acclaim for the so-called glories of war in this room. Yet it was more than that; it was courage in the face of adversity, perseverance, devotion, and fortitude that Luke admired, not brazen and bloodied heroism. "And therein lies the somewhat difficult matter of your descent into the dark side." Jaina grimaced inwardly. She had been afraid of this. "During this time, you were responsible for the deaths of several hundred Yuuzhan Vong. Do you deny this?" "No." "Do you repent of it?" Repent? Should she? It seemed the logical thing to do in front of the Council when accused of falling to the dark side. But thinking back, Jaina realized she quite frankly did not care. Those monsters had been murdering her people, and she firmly believed herself to be in the right, regardless of whom she now answered to. "No." Luke seemed satisfied. "I expected no less of you," he said solemnly, "for aught else would have been a lie. Blood is dearly shed, though in this matter you are indeed held blameless. Their intent was to destroy, yours was to protect, and therein lies all the difference. It was your right, and even your duty to do as you did." Jaina breathed a bit easier now. Her mother had been right: when in doubt, by all means tell the truth. She felt sure this council would be full of such moral trials and resolved to meet them with integrity. "That brings us now to Qoribu and your actions there." "Yes, Master Skywalker?" She wished the other Masters would say or do something. Their impassive stares made her uncomfortable. He put down the datapad. "We are all appraised of the situation. Is there anything you would like to say in your defense?" Jaina's first impulse was to say that she had not been the only one who ran off to Qoribu. A dozen brash statements rose to her mind. But a distant part of her reflected that this inquisition itself was a test, that the Masters had not yet come to a decision but were holding off. They were waiting for something. They were waiting for her to grow up. And the first step was to accept responsibility. "I can offer nothing in my defense, but I ask that you not punish Zekk. He only stayed to protect me." "Your request is noted, Knight Solo." Luke sighed, and for the first time, his face lost a bit of its impassivity. "Knight Solo, the repeated instances of such independent behavior cannot be tolerated. During the war, it was to a certain extent acceptable, due to the role you were playing. However, acting without the sanction of the Council in highly volatile situations undermines the position of the Jedi in the galaxy. Your actions have caused Chief of State Omas to visit here twice. Do you understand the gravity of the situation?" Jaina managed a soft affirmative. "We realize that you were not the only Knight at Qoribu, and the others will be dealt with as well. However, you are their unacknowledged leader, and they trusted your judgment and followed you willingly. Though you held no official position there, you were in charge, and as such, you were responsible for their lives. Do you disagree with this assessment?" "No, sir." Luke nodded. "Then you realize that you placed Knight Lowbacca in a dangerous situation. Though you attempted to retrieve him later, he was returned not from your efforts but from an act of the Chiss. Additionally, Knight Rar, one of the Knights that accompanied you to Qoribu, is now dead. Though the Council does not hold you accountable for her fall to the dark side, for that choice was her own, as her leader in this situation, you should have noticed her instability. Do you disagree with these assessments?" "No." She had to be brave. She trusted her uncle to do what was best for everyone, and if it meant losing her lightsaber... "Such transgressions must be dealt with," Luke continued, "for though the Jedi operate independently, we must still follow certain guidelines. And in that regard I feel must make certain things clear from the start. You realize that you may have to forfeit the rank of Knight, do you not?" Here it was. "Yes," she affirmed, throwing all thought of her own pride to the wind, and feeling somewhat crestfallen for it. She could not evade the barefaced truth any longer. "You realize that in this forfeiture of your rank, you will be stripped of your lightsaber." "Yes." "You realize, of course, that thereby you will no longer be a Jedi of good standing with the Jedi Council and to any governments it associates with." Jaina's eyes flared in spite of him, for this stipulation rankled her more than any other. It was one thing to disgrace herself, yet to make this degradation known to the entire galaxy was unbearable. Unbidden was the thought of what Jag Fel would think. Yet she bit back the vehement objections that came at first, and accepted what must be, bitter though it was. "Yes." Luke smiled, not in the triumph expected, but in warm approval. "I see you have learned a valuable lesson in humility," he said. "Now it may be you may recover some of your pride." He looked down the table at the other Masters. "Fortunately for you, Master Jade Skywalker and Master Durron have entered pleas on your behalf. Both your former masters have argued quite convincingly on why you should remain a Knight in good standing." Jaina's startled gaze flew to Mara and then Kyp, but neither of their faces betrayed anything. "So the Council has agreed that you will retain your rank on the condition that you remain on probationary status for two years. We are giving you a chance to show us that you can be a disciplined Knight." He smiled slightly. "If you can make it through and show us that you are worthy of your lightsaber and all that it represents, then you will be restored to all rights and privileges as befits your rank. However, if your progress is not satisfactory, then you will be stripped of your Knighthood." Zekk's echo faltered and vanished entirely. "Thank you," Jaina said at last in incredulous monotone, staring rather blankly. She had expected the worst, but the Force had seen her through. Luke's eyes turned serious. "Master Jade Skywalker and Master Durron have high hopes for you. Do not fail in their trust - or in ours." "Consider your heritage," pointed out Kyle Katarn, breaking the silence of the other Masters. "You are descended from a line of great Jedi. It is not only your own honor you must uphold, but theirs." "Your brother Anakin himself held great hopes for you," Clighal said softly. "It was not for yourself that you were spared from the horrors of war." "This is true," affirmed Kyp. "Those that served with you in battle shall never forget your actions, even though the long ages of the stars may pass between us and we are scattered to the four corners of the galaxy. We shall rally beneath your banner if only you will." Silence again. Jaina realized the truth in their words, and they had touched her deeply, not only in invoking old wounds, but in revealing the regard they held for her. "Your actions have proven you in the eyes of the galaxy who remembered you from the war," Corran stated. "But you must prove your worth to yourself. You must accept the fact that you are no longer just responsible for your own life." "Jaina, we all have a place in this galaxy. Mine is here," Luke said, sensing his niece's turmoil. "It is time for you to find your own place, to which you have been called, for which you have been chosen." Jaina yet said nothing, gripping the arms of her chair as if by doing so she could slow the blurring pace of the proceedings before she was swept away by the current. What was her rightful place? No sooner had they bared her nothingness before them than they now turned and offered her a crown. Luke continued, "Yet it is a place you must accept freely, for such a burden of responsibility one can never arbitrarily lay upon another. The Council awaits your answer. Do you accept?" What an unfathomable world it was that finally brought her to such a pass as this. "I do," Jaina replied at last, feeling her old confidence returning to her with those words. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A short while later, Jaina's door buzzed. She had been meditating in her room earlier, for she needed to find peace after such an eventful Council meeting. Keying the door to open, she found her uncle standing there. “May I come in?” he asked hesitatingly. “Of course.” She stood aside and allowed the venerable Master inside. Luke wandered the small suite with the familiarity of one who had been there before. He took a seat on the small coach and gestured for Jaina to sit next to him. “How are you feeling?” he asked. She shrugged. “Truth is, I don't know what to feel. I thought for sure that I was going to lose my lightsaber.” Luke sighed, and it suddenly seemed to Jaina that he had aged significantly in the past few hours. “You almost did.” He turned his bright blue eyes to hers. “You are your father's daughter, in almost every way, Jaina.” He raised a hand to forestall comments. “I don't mean this in a bad way. Without Han Solo, I would have been dead a hundred times over. If there is any proof in the galaxy that the Force manifests itself in luck, it's him.” Luke took a hold of Jaina's hands. “Your father never liked following rules, and he passed that trait along to you. And for the most part, it's a good thing. Sometime it's good to be reckless, to do the unexpected. But sometimes it's good to follow rules as well.” He reached out with one hand and held his lightsaber. “This is more than a weapon, Jaina. This is a symbol – not just of the Jedi, but of what we represent: peace, justice, and order. The Jedi do not sanction chaos.” “I understand, Uncle Luke. But what about following your instincts? Of doing the right thing, no matter what?” Jaina asked. “Only animals follow their instincts blindly. Jedi use instinct as a tool of the Force.” He tapped her forehead with his lightsaber. “That means you have to think before you act.” Luke looked out her window. “Jedi have an awesome power that must be tempered with caution. Following your instincts blindly leads to unchecked passions.” A small smile appeared on his face. “And as Vergere once told me, 'An unchecked passion produces actions that are hasty, ill considered, and often destructive.'” “Vergere?” asked Jaina with a raised brow. Luke chuckled. “She was wise in her ways. She taught me that when you think before you act, sometimes you might not act at all – and sometimes you do. But this occurs from wisdom. Do you understand?” Jaina nodded. “But the situation from the Killiks...inaction wasn't the answer. How do you know when to act and when not to?” “When your parents, Mara, and I arrived on Qoribu, we were prepared to help, but in the Jedi way. We did act, but we acted with patience. We acted after we had consulted one another, after we had meditated. For not even we Masters can always act alone.” He pursed his lips. “But you Knights rushed into a situation, moved by emotion and instinct. Yes, helping the Killiks was the right thing to do. But you did not do it the right way.” “I understand.” Jaina looked away. “It's just that, since the war, I can't stand injustice. I want to stop it, no matter what the cost.” “There is nothing wrong with wanting to stop injustice. But when you cease thinking about the cost, that is when you fall under the shadow of the dark side.” He gently turned her face back to his. “And sometimes, it's okay to ask for advice and listen to your elders. Just as we trust you to do the right thing, you need to trust us. You need to trust the Jedi Council to do what's best.” “I've learned my lesson, Uncle Luke.” Thankfulness welled within her – thanks that she had such a family. Whatever feelings of betrayal melted away in the face of familial love. Impulsively, she hugged him. Luke held her close, not as a Jedi Master, but as her uncle, as he stroked her hair reassuringly, just as he used to when she had been young. “I love you, Jaina” “And I love you, Uncle Luke.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next chapter: Jacen and his complicated mind – I wonder what a brain mapper would show? -----signature----- "The Sun Crusher was originally conceived as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn." http://www.thedarknest.com Dark!Horny!Jacen 1 6177 86515
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FelsGoddess Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 9/8/05 7:25am Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/7!!
	mutters evil things about Killiks Boy, Luke has no room to talk when it comes to doing foolish things. Unbidden was the thought of what Jag Fel would think See Jaina? You still care. And as Vergere once told me, 'An unchecked passion produces actions that are hasty, ill considered, and often destructive.'” There's that stupid bird again. Jacen up next. Wonder what Sir Overthink has to say? Great update! -----signature----- Knighted by Tahi
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Inara Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/8/05 11:02am Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/7!!
	Yeah, Luke definitely can't claim to have been a calm individual in his younger years - which is why I think he's so scared for Jaina. It just seems to me that everyone would be off-kilter after the war. And it's gonna take a lot adjusting. So yeah, it's basically my excuse to give everyone a really hard time -----signature----- "The Sun Crusher was originally conceived as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn." http://www.thedarknest.com Dark!Horny!Jacen 1 6177 86515
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SilSolo Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 9/8/05 11:16am Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/7!!
	Wonderful fic! Esp that Hapan part. As for the last line, quote from Vergere: Everything I tell you is a lie. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27517284/p1/?11 Like this quick sketch: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/32848083/ ? Then commission me. Prices are negotiable.
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Inara Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/8/05 5:09pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Chapter 4 - Jacen - Date Edited: 9/8/05 11:03pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Inara
	Chapter 4 – Hapes Jacen followed Erelas as she toured the Hapan Battle Dragon Star Flame. She was taking notes on a datapad, periodically asking questions of Asphel, the Hapan chief engineer, who could not decide if having Erelas do the upgrades was a good idea or not. Erelas had been surprisingly circumspect in dealing with the Hapans. She was an outsider, so she phrased her demands as requests – something he would not have expected from the daughter of Averil Cracken. She was also careful not to undermine Asphel's authority. Though Tenel Ka had essentially placed her entire fleet in Erelas's hands, the people performing the actual upgrades were still Hapans. And Tenel Ka was paying her an obscene amount of money to make sure everything went smoothly. Normally, Jacen had no interest in starship mechanics. That was his sister's specialty. But he, and Tenel Ka especially, had an interest in Erelas, so he had tagged along on one of her inspection tours. He wanted to get a feel for her: her personality, her concerns, her fears. It was a task that Jacen was suited for. He had always been possessed of powerful empathy, even without the Force. Instinct and experience told him to doubt attractive women like Erelas. Such people were too accustomed to having people give them things they had not earned. For she was fully aware of her looks, and something in her demeanor told Jacen that she had used them to her advantage before. But then there had been that moment of communion in Tenel Ka's private courtyard, a communion that for once in his life had not depended on his own ability to pick up another's mood and reflect it back to him. They had simply taken an accidental step in unison, the sort of thing that happened to normal people all the time without any assistance from Force-heightened senses. “Commander, I will take these specifications to the mechanics.” Asphel looked interested despite her inherent dislike of anyone Rebel or Imperial. “Thank you, Captain.” Erelas stood near the walkway railing and looked down into the busy engine room. “If you have some free time later, I would like to discuss alternative plating options.” Asphel nodded absently. “I shall comm a message to you. Now if you will excuse me.” The Hapan disappeared down a side hallway, leaving Jacen alone with Erelas. She glanced up and smiled at him. “Well?” Jacen focused on her. Now out of Asphel's presence, her presence radiated as clear as a summer sky on Chandrila, and he probed her with impunity. She knew he was doing it – met his eyes calmly and let him. Jacen's knowledge of people had always come to him as colors. Erelas Cracken was gray and white, but also pink and rust. Dangerous colors, but also calm colors. Ruthlessness and wildness, tempered with a sense of responsibility and dignity, and underneath, a kindheartedness half afraid of itself, unexpected modesty, and an impish sense of humor that she seemed to think inappropriate most of the time. But above all, she possessed a centeredness, like the center of a circle. All directions radiated out from her. She was like a rock, the rock on which one could build a house. Every storm in the galaxy could beat against her and not blow that house down. He moved beyond her personality to her concerns. She was worried about her lover, the Imperial. A handsome blond face appeared in Jacen's mind. Her parents did not like him, he did not like her parents. And Erelas was not sure if she wanted him. Erelas was a predator, and as much as she found comfort in her Imperial – strong, young, powerful, she was looking for another predator. Her education and upper class background should have put her in a completely different world, but it did not. She was, he realized with a start, like Lando Calrissian, another hunter. Something was also bothering her about her eyes. He could not be sure, for these thoughts were more guarded than others, and he was unwillingly to breach her privacy anymore than he already had. And she was also missing her parents and her brother. Now Pash Cracken's face came to mind – handsome, dashing, and smiling with the same humor seen in his son. He moved to her fears. She seemed to be a fearless sort of person, but she feared for others. Her worry had been beyond measure when her father had been captured by the Yuuzhan Vong and when her mother went missing for two years on a strike mission. She hated it when her brother flew too fast in his A-wing, and she could not understand why her Imperial – Tristan was his name – insisted on flying TIE fighters in his spare time. Jacen slowly blinked as he extracted himself from her presence. “Do I pass muster?” she asked with an upturned brow. “That was very trustful of you, to let me into your mind like that.” Jacen moved to stand next to her on the rail. She shrugged. “That is what you have been wanting to do all week. And besides, I have nothing to hide.” He had to concede. “So how did you end up engaged to an Imperial?” “I was visiting my uncle's family in the Imperial Remnant.” At Jacen's look, she amended, “after the war was over. Tristan was my cousin's friend.” “How did your family take it?” he asked curiously as he tried to imagine the reactions of his parents if he came home with an Imperial. She flinched. “My mother was mostly angry because I went behind her back and went to her brother. They are not on speaking terms,” she explained. “But after a while, she accepted it. But then again, in her family, she is the odd one out. Her father was an admiral in the Imperial Navy, and her brother and cousins also served. She was raised to be an officer's wife – though no one suspected it would be a rebel officer.” They began to stroll down the walkway. “My father was horrified. He pointed out that my grandfather had been the head of New Republic Intelligence, and that he was probably spinning in his grave.” She made a face. “He and my brother refer to Tristan as the storm trooper. Just yesterday my father commed me and said that when I next go home, he is going to introduce me to some decent men.” Jacen was instantly charmed by her family. “How did your parents meet?” “On Venesnor. My father was at the Academy there under a false identity. My mother met him at the Cadet Ball. It took her four years to figure out he was a Rebel, though once she did, she was quick to defect.” “It was that easy?” Erelas looked uncomfortable. “My mother is the first to admit that had she not met Pash Cracken, she may never have joined the Rebellion. 'Twas love for my father that caused her to leave her family.” She paused, and then, “The reverberation from that decision is felt to this very day. She was banished from the Secura family. The only reason my uncle will see me is because he misses his sister but is too angry with her to forgive her.” Jacen pursed his lips as he thought about what Erelas said. Averil Secura had been an instrumental figure in the Rebellion, and had later risen high through the ranks of the New Republic military, making her the highest ranking woman in the New Republic Navy. What was disturbing was the fact that she joined the Rebellion because of Pash Cracken – not because of the desire to see the Empire destroyed. Perhaps that accounted for her daughter's tendencies. Erelas's expression told him that she knew what he was thinking. “I like the Imperial uniform,” she said impishly. “You mean you like the men in them,” he corrected with a smile. She smiled, completely unembarrassed. “Well, I would ask about your family history, but I'm afraid that I am already familiar with it.” Jacen smiled. “The problems with having such famous parents.” They passed by a circuit room. Erelas poked her head in, made a few more notes on her datapad, and then rejoined him. “To be honest with you, I'm the sort of guy who really wants a normal life.” “Talk about foolish wishes, hmm?” She gestured towards the turbolifts. “I'm finished here for the day, and I believe the queen awaits us.” “She likes you, you know,” stated Jacen suddenly. “And Tenel Ka doesn't like most people.” Erelas smiled in pleasure. “I'm flattered then. And I like her. She is an honest, forthright woman. A very rare trait found in a world leader.” “She is that,” he agreed, thinking back on his youth with Tenel Ka. So many situations where she had been too honest, unafraid of voicing her opinion, even if she had stood alone. “But you should be careful – Hapes isn't the friendliest place for an outsider – believe me, I know.” “I have a sneaking suspicion that Alina has my room bugged. I am most careful when I send messages from there.” All around them, the Hapans worked efficiently in readying the Star Flame for upgrades. She would be the first ship to be refitted with enhanced durasteel plates – a technique Erelas had picked up in the Imperial Remnant. “That is why I send messages from my fighter – after I check for listening devices.” Jacen was curious. “What kind of ship do you fly?” She smiled at some distant memory. “A modified A-wing.” “A-wing? Figures.” “I am the daughter of the greatest A-wing pilot in history. Even if I wanted to – which I don't, I would not be able to fly anything else. Incom would perceive any order requests for an X-wing as a joke.” She flashed him a smile. “Can you imagine your sister piloting anything else besides an X-wing or a Corellian freighter? Could you fly anything else?” Jacen laughed. “I guess the ship chooses its rider. So what modifications has your father put on your A-wing?” “Clever of you to know who modified my ship,” she said, completely dead-pan. “He had the armor and shielding reinforced. He also had the hyperdrive upgraded, so the ship could be used for longer distance travels. That means I lose a little in speed, which is fine, since I do not aspire to be the hot hand my brother is.” She shook her head. “Though I have to tell you, A-wings frighten me. They go too fast. In sublight, they can outrun any other ship, which is scary enough in itself. I always have this nagging fear that I will land in a situation where I will not be able to control it.” “Uncle Luke doesn't like to fly those things. Having no astromech means only the pilot is responsible for controlling the ship, and he has to take full advantage of the velocity and weapons.” It was no wonder that Wedge Antilles referred to Pash Cracken as one of the greatest starfighter pilots. Erelas looked abashed. “Well, try not to make my fears public. It would be so embarrassing if people knew I was afraid of my own vessel.” “I know what you mean,” said Jacen in understanding. They entered the turbolift and headed towards the bridge. He changed the subject. “My sister will be visiting. Do you remember her?” She chewed her lip. “Yes, though not as much. I remember we played hide and seek with your younger brother.” Jacen closed his eyes as memories of Anakin washed over him. It had been seven years, but the pain was still fresh. There was a soft touch on his arm. Erelas looked at him apologetically. “Please forgive me. That was tactless of me.” “No, don't apologize.” Jacen looked away from her face. “It's just...well, it's hard not to miss him.” Erelas nodded sympathetically, and to her credit, did not pretend to understand his pain. But through the Force, he caught her remorse and guilt for bringing the topic up. Thankfully, the turbolift halted at the bridge. “After you,” he said gallantly, gesturing for her to precede him. She swept onto the bridge and headed towards where Tenel Ka was conferring with the Star Flame's captain, who moved away on their approach. “Your highness, I am pleased to report that this ship is ready for Phase I of the upgrades.” Tenel Ka, clad in one of her typical leather outfits, nodded with cheer. “I am glad to hear it. This is my favorite Battle Dragon, so take care.” “I imagine that should anything go wrong, Captain Asphel will take it up with me personally.” Erelas patted the metal rail beside her. “In the interests of self-preservation, I shall take the most care possible.” The queen laughed slightly, charmed by Erelas's good humor. “Now if you two will excuse me, I must confer with the captain.” She inclined her head politely and headed towards the sensor station. “Having Erelas around is good for Asphel. She can be so grim sometimes.” Jacen poked his friend in the shoulder. “I never thought I'd see the day when you would call someone else grim.” “Do not tell anyone, or you will ruin my reputation.” Her eyes twinkled, but true to Tenel Ka form, her face still remained impassive. “You'd just send an assassin after me if I did.” A sense of happiness pervaded his senses. It was nice when things were normal between the two of them. He had really missed moments of simple camaraderie, when thoughts of the Force, her status as queen, and their growing distance did not matter. She seemed to sense his happy feelings in the Force. “Have you had lunch?” “No, I was too busy following Erelas around.” She lowered her voice. “Did you learn anything new?” He reached out to her in the Force and shared with her what he had learned, but he was careful to withhold Erelas's confidences. When he was finished, Tenel Ka drew back. “Yes, just as I also thought.” She began to lead him towards her private office on board. “I am glad she took my offer, even if it means periodic visits by an Imperial officer.” “Speaking of visits, Jaina will be visiting soon.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I think she wants a break after all that's been happening.” Tenel Ka nodded. “Yes, I imagine. Just as you needed one once your Uncle was finished with you.” Her gray eyes – so similar in color to Erelas and yet so different – twinkled. “That is why you linger, is it not?” “If you are accusing me of being reluctant to return to the Academy – you are right.” He frowned slightly as the doors to the queen's office swished open. “Though I will be obliged too. I'm sure the Masters will have a new assignment for me.” As soon as they step inside, Tenel Ka's comlink beeped. It was Alina, saying that the queen's presence was required in the Star Flame's briefing room. Tenel Ka sighed irritatedly. “I was going to have lunch sent here, but it seems duty will not even let me eat.” His lips curved in a slight smile as she closed the distance between them. “Have some food sent here and eat. Your mother thinks you are getting skinny, and I agree.” He leaned down to kiss her softly. “Thanks for watching out for me.” He sighed into her hair. “You should go.” “Yes, I should.” But Tenel Ka did not move. “Jacen, I think we will need to sit down and discuss things.” She leaned even closer to whisper against his mouth. “Before your sister gets here.” And she kissed him again, as light as butterfly wings. Then she was out the door in a tap-tap of boots. He watched her depart before falling into one of the soft couches in the room. When Tenel Ka traveled on her flagship, this was where she held audiences with other dignitaries. It was luxuriously decorated – not by her choice, but by Hapan fashion and expectations. She may have been the daughter of a Hapan prince, but she was also the daughter of a Dathomirian witch. And no matter how hard people tried, Tenel Ka was not one to forget her roots. It was one of the things Jacen liked best about her. It saddened him to think of her mother's planet now devastated from the Yuuzhan Vong. Dathomir was not only Teneniel Djo's home planet, but it was also intimately connected to his own parents' romance. Had Han Solo never taken to Leia to Dathomir, he might never have been born. Certainly not Tenel Ka, for her mother would never have met Isolder. Isolder had devoted his widowhood to aiding the billions of galatic refugees. Hapes, by law, could not accept the homeless, Isolder found ways to donate generously to their welfare. Though Tenel Ka would never admit it, he knew how much she missed her father. It was why, in her loneliness, she had encouraged Jacen to linger, and why she had nearly forced Erelas Cracken into staying on Hapes. The life of a Queen Mother was a lonely one, and it pained him to know that she was forced to view all her subjects suspiciously. Only those who would never have reason to harm her could be her friends. And Jacen was not sure if he fell in that category any longer. His relationship with Tenel Ka had been strained, and though he wanted to fix it, he was not sure he could – or if he wanted to. He was so different now, no longer the boy Tenel Ka had loved at the Academy. He knew how much she struggled to understand him. Unbidden, her words from long ago echoed back to him. Jacen, I may not understand the Force you have embraced, but I understand you. Once, that had been enough. But now, Jacen the Jedi and Jacen the man were so intimately entwined that he was not sure where his old personality ended and his new one began. He now saw the galaxy in a way that he could no longer share with others. His views had him labeled as extreme, and he knew how many of the Masters feared the havoc he might wreck on the stability of the fledgling Jedi Order. To him, the Force was no longer about communicating with animals or even about pacifism. He no longer searched for the role of the Jedi. He now searched for the true nature of the Force. He could spend his entire lifetime looking, and it might elude his reach. But he would try. And it was a journey that he could not bring Tenel Ka on, even if she offered to wait for him. Nor it was simply a matter of adjustment. The things that he had tolerated before – such as his sister's unchecked passion, or Zekk's blind loyalty – now repulsed him. That did not stop him from loving them, but it did cause him hesitation where there had been none before. It was the same with Tenel Ka and her reluctant politics. When they had only been friends, he had put up with it. He knew that she had no choice, and many times, he felt sorry for her situation. But now, ever since they had become lovers, it had become a wedge between them. He hated that he had to check his room for surveillance equipment every time he returned from even a short trip to the gardens. He did not like the way Hapan women would try to seduce him to discredit Tenel Ka, and he despised it when people would prostrate themselves to him. He never said a word; he knew her culture was not his, her views on politics were not his. It was how her family lived. But lately, it was becoming more and more difficult to hide his reactions from her. Seeing her manipulating her courtiers repelled him at some fundamental level. It was the one thing about her that he could not take, and Jacen knew, better than most, how much gut reaction undercut intellectual rationalizations. He loved her, but he hated her politics, and he hated even more the fact that he could not get past it. He also hated the fact that he had taken advantage of it. He had pretended to be her consort and had borrowed a fleet from her. Never mind the fact that now he was her consort in all but name. Tenel Ka was slowly becoming Leia Organa. Just as Leia had played the game of politics, in fact, how she still played the game of politics, Tenel Ka was doing the same. It had taken Han Solo to save Leia from becoming a political machine – and Jacen was no Han Solo. He was worried that the Dathomir in Tenel Ka was being pushed aside by the Hapes in her. And no matter how stubbornly she wore lizard hide and meditated in a jungle garden, she also wore a gem-encrusted crown. Jacen Solo despised himself most of all. Things that should not matter suddenly mattered very much. His relationship with her had lasted for almost half his life. He could not imagine life without her. But deep down inside, he feared that it might just come to that. Jacen knew he was standing on a precipice. He knew Tenel Ka knew it. The question remained: would he jump across the chasm, or would he turn back to her? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Chapter: Now that we know how everyone feels, we can finally see some action:) -----signature----- "The Sun Crusher was originally conceived as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn." http://www.thedarknest.com Dark!Horny!Jacen 1 6177 86515
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zettazofia Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 9/8/05 5:53pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/8 - Jacen's POV!
	Great job with Jaina facing the Council. I haven't seen much about the reprecussions of her actions, and I like the way you handled that. I confess that I was worried right along with Jaina that they'd take her lightsaber from her, and I'm glad they didn't. Also pleased that she wasn't expected to lie about her feelings for killing the Vong during the war. Erelas is interesting, and I like the way she and Jacen interact. Cute joke by Jacen about TK sending an assasain after him if he told anyone. Poor Jacen. You actually make me feel sorry for him. He doesn't come away with being such a... well, he comes across better here than in most fics and the novels. Can't wait for more, as always, Zetta -----signature----- ... J/J ... Go Wings! Woo hoo!
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FelsGoddess Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 9/8/05 7:07pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/8 - Jacen's POV!
	Had Han Solo never taken to Leia to Dathomir, he might never have been born. Certainly not Tenel Ka, for her mother would never have met Isolder. Oy, what an event THAT was. Great update! -----signature----- Knighted by Tahi
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summerdaisy Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/8/05 10:52pm Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/8 - Jacen's POV!
	I don't think I've seen Jedi discipline in the extended universe, but I think you did a good job in showing how it would be done. I'm glad Jaina got reprimanded. Personally, I think she's been PMSing throughout the NJO, and it's about time someone took her in hand. I also think you did a good job in showing Jaina's relationship with Jag post TJK. It wasn't very promising, and I'm sure a lot of J/J shippers were upset. Since I'm not shipper-specific (that is, I like all pairings if they make sense), I'm glad Jag is showing some personality for once. Generally, he's the submissive one in the relationship, which seems hard for me to swallow. After all, he is the son of Baron Fel AND a Corellian. Can anyone see Han Solo deferring to Leia about every little thing? I hope you show us Jacen's potential. He was so wishy-washy in NJO, but Denning did a good job in salvaging him in TJK. Vergere did call him the "Living Jedi Dream." I hope that includes more than being Tenel Ka's boytoy. Looking forward to more...
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Inara Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 9/9/05 9:32am Subject: RE: A Higher Purpose (Post TJK, sad J/J and J/TK - Updated 9/8 - Jacen's POV! - Date Edited: 9/9/05 10:05am (2 edits total) Edited By: Inara
	SilSolo: Vergere will be back zettazofia: I had to make up what a Jedi "court martial" would be like. I guess I tried to make it like the Council from the Old Republic, but more military minded. And I'm glad that Jaina kept her lightsaber. I guess I was really disappointed by her character in some parts of the NJO and in TJK, and I wanted to give her a way to redeem herself. Poor Jacen. You actually make me feel sorry for him. He doesn't come away with being such a... well, he comes across better here than in most fics and the novels. Yeah, poor Jacen. Life isn't any better for him than it is for his sister. FelsGoddess: It'd be pretty funny if Jaina kidnapped Jag. There's a great story on the boards, The Courtship of Jagged Fel, which shows him kidnapping Jaina. I'd love the see the opposite. summerdaisy: Unlike Jaina, whose character was nearly shredded by Denning, Jacen's was salvaged from the NJO. So I want to give him some space to grow - and not just his beard. As for being Tenel Ka's boytoy - well, the way things are looking, he might not be Tenel Ka's anything much longer. Personally, I think she's been PMSing throughout the NJO, and it's about time someone took her in hand Yeah, I agree. But I think there's hope for Jaina. For all that she's a Solo, she's also a Skywalker. Thanks for the comments everyone. Now that I'm done getting these POVs out of the way, I can move on to the actual plot - as if doomed romances were all I was going to right about -----signature----- "The Sun Crusher was originally conceived as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn." http://www.thedarknest.com Dark!Horny!Jacen 1 6177 86515
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