Jedi Council Forums - My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 08/09/09

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Author	Topic: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 08/09/09
KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/5 4:22am Subject: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 08/09/09 - Date Edited: 8/9 11:56am (39 edits total) Edited By: KELIA
	Title: My Secret Life Author: Kelia Characters: Padmé, Sabe, Senators Timeframe: Post ATOC - this will cover the first year of Anakin and Padmé's marriage Genre: Will vary A/N: This is my response to the 2009 Diary Challenge. I'll be updating weekly - yes I said weekly - but if you'd like a PM, just say the word. Thanks to earlybird-obi-wan for the idea and permission to use it Dear Diary, I don’t even know why I’m starting this diary, other than I have no one to talk to about the most important part of my life, strange as that may sound. Everyone is supposed to have someone they can confide in but in my case, things are just too…complicated and I don’t want to burden anyone else with keeping my secret. Well, our secret, really. You see, I have been blissfully married for three days now and I want to shout my glorious news from every rooftop on Naboo but I can’t. Not only that, but I can’t tell a soul, not even my family. That may sound extreme, but in our circumstances, it isn’t. We shouldn’t have even allowed ourselves to peruse our feelings for each other but, in truth, our love was just too powerful and too intoxicating for either of us to resist. Not that Anakin tried but I certainly did. I knew and still know we should have remained strong and kept our relationship platonic but… I could tell you Anakin swept me off my feet, that I so wrapped up in the intensity of his love for me and mine for him that I couldn’t think straight but that would be a lie. The truth is, I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone before and I wanted to marry him regardless of what it will cost us in the end. I don’t doubt that there will be a price to pay for our love but I believe deep down in my heart, no matter what that price is, Anakin and I will face it together and come out stronger and more in love than ever. Now you may be wondering why I am writing all this down instead of enjoying my honeymoon. Let me just say I did enjoy the honeymoon – while it lasted. But reality has reared its ugly head, forcing us back to our responsibilities. Anakin left for Coruscant and the Jedi Order this morning and I won’t be far behind him. I’ve two more days on Naboo before I have to return to the Senate and we’ve no idea when we’ll see each other again. As bad as that is, this morning, saying good-bye was worse. I tried to stay strong, as Anakin did for me, but my eyes filled with tears the minute I woke. It was torture fixing his breakfast, helping him gather all his belongings and walking him to his ship, knowing it would be the last time we would be together for who knows how long. Our last moments together were bittersweet. Anakin cupped my cheeks, told me not to worry, that we would see each other soon and gave me the most gentle, tender kiss I’ve ever received. Then he was gone and my tears haven’t stopped. I’ll have to pull myself together by this afternoon when I’m expected at my parent’s house. Somehow, I’ll have to find the strength to smile, laugh and act normal around them, the people who know me best and will be ever vigilant for any signs of anything out of the ordinary. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Wish me luck. -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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Lady_Misty Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 1/5 4:55am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Touching! Pleae put me on the pm list. -----signature----- Proud big sister to BYU-I student, go Shelly! I sense a disturbance in the Frost. -Get Fuzzy 'King of the funeral!' Hodgins Froggy whent a'courting. A princess of Landover Cad Bane is on my bad side; he destroyed Todo for no good reason! sob
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/5 5:31am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Oh this is going to be great! I can't wait for more. I'll try and remember to check in once a week. -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/5 8:00am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Yes, a diary of Padmé and please put me on your PM list -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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Jade_eyes Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 1/5 3:01pm Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Superb! Touching! -----signature----- E-sib to Mira_Jade, whose yummies inspire & gooify I call her Mira_Pilot because I'm in orbit Nyota/Spock--my angels, till there was you, only you !! Have 10 buckets Cheesecake Squggles!
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Force_Chick Registered: May '08	Date Posted: 1/5 4:33pm Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	This is going to be good! Please add me to the PM list, as well. -----signature----- When Facism comes to the United States, it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross. - Sinclair Lewis Duct Tape is like the Force. It has a Light Side and a Dark Side And it holds everything together.
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FitJedi Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 1/5 6:50pm Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Absolutely lovely and tender all at the same time. Please add me to the pm list if you continue this.
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Specterace Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/5 7:34pm Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	I like it. It's the very definition of bittersweet. You really show how Padmé would feel when her honeymoon was over. The happiness of true love, and the sadness of knowing what the limitations of that love are. I hope to see more of this. Specterace -----signature----- My Fics: Shifting Tides: http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/21016976/p1 2009 Diary Challenge Entry: A Long Night's Journey Into Day: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29653882/p1/?7
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/12 4:13am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Lady_Misty Touching! Thank you! I wanted to diary to reflect Padmé’s deepest emotions. VaderLVR64: Oh this is going to be great! I can't wait for more I hope it will live up to your expectations earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, a diary of Padmé and please put me on your PM list I certainly will! And thank you again for the idea Jade_eyes: Superb! Touching! Awww…thank you! Force_chick: This is going to be good! Please add me to the PM list, as well That’s the plan I’ll be happy to add you to the list FitJedi: Absolutely lovely and tender all at the same time I’m glad you enjoyed the mix. I think Padmé would have very mixed emotions once reality returned to her world. Specterace: You really show how Padmé would feel when her honeymoon was over. The happiness of true love, and the sadness of knowing what the limitations of that love are. I’m glad you liked that. I wanted to keep this diary as close to reality…or what I think Padmé’s reality would be after the honeymoon ended. -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/12 4:15am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...2009 Diary Challenge
	Dear Diary I am finally on my way to Coruscant, where I will hopefully get to see Anakin again. Even if it is only for a brief time, I will take what I can get and be thankful for it. I’m sure you’re wondering about the two days with my family. It went about as well as I could have expected. I was able to keep my emotions under control, probably too much under control as my mother and sister, Sola, knew instantly something was troubling me. They tried, individually and together, to get me to talk about whatever was on my mind but I would just smile and say I was still trying to absorb all that had happened in the last few weeks. They naturally assumed I meant with the assassination attempts and the crisis on Geonosis. I was dying to tell them all about Anakin and our marriage. They would have kept our secret and probably even helped us in any way they could but I knew it would be unfair to expect them to help me carry such a heavy burden. I made the choice to marry Anakin and keep our relationship a secret and now I, alone, have to bear the outcome of those choices. We did have fun, making meals together, watching our favorite holovideo, playing games and talking. If only Anakin could have been there, it would have been perfect! I kept picturing him by my side, across the room laughing with my father, lying next to me in bed. Silly, right? He had only been gone two days and I was missing him so. Mom made me my favorite breakfast this morning and again tried to get me to open up to her. I was so tempted! It took all my willpower to just shake my head and tell her I was fine. My heart broke at her sad but knowing gaze. I’ve never been able to fool my mother but she didn’t press me. Later, when we were saying good-bye, she pulled me into a tight embrace and told me if I ever needed her for anything, no matter the time or the seriousness of the situation, to call her and she would come. “I’ll always be there for you, Padmé,” she whispered before kissing my cheek. I’ve only just now stopped crying. I hate keeping this from her and dad and Sola. But I know it’s for the best. I truly believe the time will come when Anakin and I are free to be together and I will be able to explain everything. I just hope they will understand and forgive us. -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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Specterace Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/12 4:58am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 1/12/09
	Whoa. I like the tilt of Padme's thoughts here. She's all alone, and yet she's not. She wants to talk about the marriage to Anakin, but at the same time, she feels she can't burden people with it. The saddest part has to be the thoughts about eventually getting it all out someday. Because if this follows canon (and all indicates it will), then that someday never comes. Specterace -----signature----- My Fics: Shifting Tides: http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/21016976/p1 2009 Diary Challenge Entry: A Long Night's Journey Into Day: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29653882/p1/?7
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/12 8:14am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 1/12/09
	Poor Padme, never able to reveal her secret. A very touching update -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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Lady_Misty Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 1/12 11:22am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 1/12/09
	Man, it's hard keeping a secret even if it's just a surprise for your parents like you did all the laundry, cleaned the house, made dinner and rented their favorite movie and you are going to take the youger siblings out. -----signature----- Proud big sister to BYU-I student, go Shelly! I sense a disturbance in the Frost. -Get Fuzzy 'King of the funeral!' Hodgins Froggy whent a'courting. A princess of Landover Cad Bane is on my bad side; he destroyed Todo for no good reason! sob
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/12 3:41pm Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 1/12/09
	I love the timeframe you've picked for her diary here! I know you'll do it justice. -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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FitJedi Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 1/12 8:41pm Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 1/12/09
	Augh...how absolutely torturous to have to keep such a secret from those who mean the most to you. I wish she could have opened up about her marriage but I understand her reasoning. Still, very sad indeed. Well done.
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/19 9:32am Subject: RE: My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 1/12/09
	Specterace: I like the tilt of Padme's thoughts here. She's all alone, and yet she's not. She wants to talk about the marriage to Anakin, but at the same time, she feels she can't burden people with it. That’s Padmé all right. I really wanted to explore how torn she must have been during the marriage and I’m glad you are enjoying it. earlybird-obi-wan: Poor Padmé, never able to reveal her secret. At least not the way she hoped she would be able to reveal it Lady_Misty: Man, it's hard keeping a secret even if it's just a surprise Yes, it certainly is! VaderLVR64: I love the timeframe you've picked for her diary here! Thanks. I wanted to pick a time little explored in the movies. That’s about the only way I can stick to cannon…assuming that’s what I’m planning to do, of course. FitJedi: how absolutely torturous to have to keep such a secret from those who mean the most to you. Yes, it is as Padmé is learning…the hard way. -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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