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Author	Topic: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009) -- Updated 11/16
Ceillean Title: Scattergories and 20 Questions Hostess Registered: Nov '01	Date Posted: 1/1 5:36am Subject: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009) -- Updated 11/16 - Date Edited: 11/16 10:32am (18 edits total) Edited By: Ceillean
	Title: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko Author: Ceillean Timeframe: NJO Notes: Even though NJO, no Vong. That would suck all the fun out of the Diary, yes? Dear Diary Challenge 2009 I need to thank MsLanna for this crazy idea. She's dubbed me one of the Shameless Self Inserters. That's a cool name! Happy New Year everyone! PM List NYCitygurl mavjade Ubersue JediMasterAmanda Jade_Eyes Maggy Raphire Okay. So this is how it went down. Here I am minding my own business after a long and gruesome day at work. I have the most boring job in the known universe; I’m an insurance clerk. You may stop laughing now. I mean it. Stop it. Right now, I might be losing it. Maybe I already have but I’d like to think someone simply whacked me over the head. It would be kinder to my self-esteem instead of admitting that I’ve completely and utterly lost my marbles. I tend to get sidetracked. Don’t be surprised. Anyway, I’m walking down the main street to my crappy little apartment in the noisiest part of town. I’m digging through my army backpack – yes, I am an insurance clerk who dresses in fancy suits and walks around with an army backpack. I’m proud of it. – trying to find my keys. Mind you, the backpack is enormous. Now, instead of just standing still and looking for my keys, the idiot-who-I-am kept walking without looking. I’m quite certain the lamp pole hadn’t been there the day before. I’m obliged to think someone planted it there just for me while I was away at work. This would at least give me a good reason not to think of myself as a total moron. Before I knew it, my head collided with the damned thing. I remember a very, very loud clunk and then all went black. And I hadn’t even found my keys. Damn those things to hell. ------ I woke up with a really bad headache. Obviously. I reached up to rub my forehead and to my utter dismay, I felt a lump smack in the middle. I wondered if I looked like a unicorn. It wouldn’t have surprised me, since I was stupid enough to walk up against a pole in the first place. I blinked my eyes open, hoping the blurriness would sprout legs and go away. How long it took, I can’t say but once I could see clearly, I frowned. I would have expected to see a darkening night sky – maybe even completely dark, depending on how long I was laying on the street. Yeah, the sky was dark alright but I saw things in the air. Flying things in straight lines – traffic lanes? In the sky? Ships? I really had hit my head hard, huh? I sat up while I kept staring at the sky. Besides the flying ships, I noticed that the buildings were pretty damned tall. I live in a big city and we have one or two skyscrapers – I think – but this was beyond anything I had ever imagined. When I say tall, I mean TALL. Like Goliath times a hundred! Or better yet, mix up Goliath and King Kong and you’d still not reach the top of the highest building. Maybe throw in a bit of Godzilla, too. Nah, not even then. While contemplating where in the world I had landed – I don’t watch the news much but I think I would have at least read somewhere about flying ships and skyscrapers that reached into friggin space – I got to my feet. My legs wobbled a little and I had to take care not to twist my ankles in the hideous heels I was wearing. All for the job, you know? Why can’t we just sit behind our desks in sweat suits? It would be so much easier. I held on to my trusty backpack as if my life depended on it. Because when I looked around the place, I knew I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. I stared dumbfounded, my mouth hanging down to my knees, no doubt. There were even more vehicles than I’d first thought, flying in zigzagging lanes above me. Thousands of ships if not more! But what really got me? I was being stared at. Which wouldn’t have bothered me – I’m used to standing out in a crowd. But not like this. There were creatures all around me, gaping and pointing, whispering. There were humans like me, males and females and then people who looked human but sprouted thick tail-like things from their heads. Maybe they were human and it’s the newest fashion accessory? Or maybe I needed to get my head examined. There were extraordinarily tall, walking dogs, too. They’re cute in their own furry funny way. But the way a few of them growled wasn’t cute at all. I clutched my backpack tighter to my chest and turned a full circle. Wherever I was, it seemed I was either not welcomed or else something else was wrong. Others glared at me as well, some with huge round pink heads, others with horns and again others with green or orange skin. What in the world… “You can’t be here!” I heard a male voice yell and turned around. A man came up to me, wearing black fatigues with a rifle strapped across his chest. A rifle. A rifle?! “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, ma’am. This is a restricted area.” I fumbled with my backpack as the guard or police officer or whatever he was inclined his head towards the group of people staring at me. He wanted me to go there? Uh-uh. Not gonna happen. “I’m sorry.” I stammered, quickly remembering that I’m a schooled insurance clerk. I could talk my way out of anything. “But I’m in something of a predicament at the moment. I…uh…” “Ma’am. If you don’t leave the grounds now I will have to take you into custody.” Custody sounded bad in many different ways. Custody meant jail, right? But jail also meant protection from the strange people who definitely paid way too much money for plastic surgery. And then it hit me! If this was a restricted area, maybe these people were having something of a real life role-playing game! I smiled at the officer and swung my pack over my shoulder. “If you could tell me where I am, I will gladly leave.” “Crystal Plaza. It’s a restricted area while the Chief of State holds his speech.” I’ve been around for a while and I had never before heard of a place called Crystal Plaza. I cleared my throat, feeling my cheeks warm up with a blush. Always happened in the wrong situations. “I don’t know where I am.” I said honestly, knowing it would get me nowhere to lie. And anyway, I was afraid. Those people were still staring at me! The officer frowned. It was obvious that he thought I was some kind of nut case. And maybe he was right. “I’m sorry, ma’am. You’re going to have to come with me.” I nodded and I followed willingly. -----signature----- I claim Kyp Durron. I James T. Kirk.
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 1/1 7:46am Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	And I hadn’t even found my keys. Damn those things to hell. I really el-oh-el'ed at the "run-in" with the pole. Quite the hilarious beginning you've got to your diary here, and I'm interested to see where it goes! If you're going to have a PM list, add my name, will you? Trikes -----signature----- My Uncle Sam sends me places... the "going OCONUS lol" is here! Current Location: Iraq Don't bother running. You won't get far enough. http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com
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Jag4Me Title: C&G and FCC Game Hostess Registered: Jan '08	Date Posted: 1/1 3:06pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	I knew that if Trika's reading then this has to be where the cool kids are hanging out. Excellent start my friend! Can't wait for more! -----signature----- The Other Innocent Diva Twin Master to EnviousSerious-Rue "I only have moral and ethical objections to something if I'm not being included." - Darth_wanderguard Darth_wanderguard is mine
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NYCitygurl Title: Manager of SFFBC, C&G, NSWFF, and Icons Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 1/1 6:58pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Hilarious!! Poor woman, just being tossed into the GFFA like that. Wonder if she's a SW fan . . . Please add me to the PM list! -----signature----- I agree with RJ Officially Idri's Muse "Hat. We thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat."
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 1/1 7:04pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Jag4Me posted: I knew that if Trika's reading then this has to be where the cool kids are hanging out. Hell yes. And now that you're here, we're doubly cool. -----signature----- My Uncle Sam sends me places... the "going OCONUS lol" is here! Current Location: Iraq Don't bother running. You won't get far enough. http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com
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angry_bendu1 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 1/1 8:32pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	“If you could tell me where I am, I will gladly leave.” It could be my current sugar high, but I found that line extremely funny. Great job! -----signature----- Ramblings of a Jedi (snarky Jesika's diary- filled w/ romance, sarcasm, etc.): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28753761/p1/?0 I was staring at the orange juice because it said "concentrate". Proud owner of a '96 Geo Metro. "To the Crapmobile!"
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mavjade Title: Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 1/2 1:24pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Great first post, Ceillean! Before I knew it, my head collided with the damned thing. I remember a very, very loud clunk and then all went black. And I hadn’t even found my keys. Damn those things to hell. looks around Have you been spying on me?? This sounds exactly like me... I think I'm gonna like this character! I feel for her... talk about culture shock! If you are doing a PM list, would you mind putting me on it? (I promise I will try very hard to be better at replying! ) -----signature----- Parent: I need a snot sucker! My coworker: Does she mean a bulb syringe or a Respiratory Therapist?? NaNoWriMo '09: Unto Itself, A Higher Law: 25,103 words so far
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Darth Muis Registered: Mar '00	Date Posted: 1/7 3:23am Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	I've read some fics inserting real life people in the GFFA back in the day, but none struck me from the first line on as much as this one. Funny stuff and I can't wait to see where this goes! I'd love to be on the PM list for this! -----signature----- Talon Intelligence Squadron http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com 'Wilson' or 'The Diary of an Astromech Droid' http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29659538 "Once a Talon, always a Talon."
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Ceillean Title: Scattergories and 20 Questions Hostess Registered: Nov '01	Date Posted: 1/7 11:33am Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Oooh, a bunch of replies! Thanks everyone! Trika posted: I really el-oh-el'ed at the "run-in" with the pole. Quite the hilarious beginning you've got to your diary here, and I'm interested to see where it goes! If you're going to have a PM list, add my name, will you? Will do. And thanks for taking the time to read. Trikes Jag4me posted: I knew that if Trika's reading then this has to be where the cool kids are hanging out. Always! Excellent start my friend! Can't wait for more! Thank you! NYCgurl posted: Hilarious!! Poor woman, just being tossed into the GFFA like that. Wonder if she's a SW fan . . . You'll see. I think it gets funnier, too. Please add me to the PM list! Will do! And thanks for reading. bendu posted: “If you could tell me where I am, I will gladly leave.” It could be my current sugar high, but I found that line extremely funny. Great! And sugar high's are so fun! Great job! Thanks! mavjade posted: Great first post, Ceillean! Thanks! Before I knew it, my head collided with the damned thing. I remember a very, very loud clunk and then all went black. And I hadn’t even found my keys. Damn those things to hell. looks around Have you been spying on me?? This sounds exactly like me... I think I'm gonna like this character! This actually happened to me once. I was looking for the keys and banged my head. I feel for her... talk about culture shock! If you are doing a PM list, would you mind putting me on it? (I promise I will try very hard to be better at replying! ) I will! Thanks for reading! Darth Muis posted: I've read some fics inserting real life people in the GFFA back in the day, but none struck me from the first line on as much as this one. Funny stuff and I can't wait to see where this goes! I'd love to be on the PM list for this! Wow -- thanks! And I'll definately PM you. -----signature----- I claim Kyp Durron. I James T. Kirk.
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Ceillean Title: Scattergories and 20 Questions Hostess Registered: Nov '01	Date Posted: 1/7 11:34am Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Panic. I’ve never panicked before. Never in my life. I’ve heard about people panicking, though. How they would hyperventilate and scream at the top of their lungs. In my case, panic settled in the moment the armed policeman grabbed my upper arm. Because all this time I had hoped I had just hit my head a little too hard and I was dreaming – for that matter, maybe I was still lying on the sidewalk and people were gawking at my unconscious form. But the way that dude gripped my arm? Dang it, it hurt! And in my dreams, I don’t get hurt! So yeah, I panicked. I pulled out of the man’s grasp, staring open-mouthed and I suppose my face was contorted up into this ugly mask of fear because I swear to God I saw the officer almost grin at me. He thought this was funny? You don’t want to know what sort of colorful words went through my mind that very moment. I would have loved to smack the hell out of that man but as I said, I was scared crapless. I held on to my backpack as if it were my life line and my legs wouldn’t move any more. I’d walked with the officer for a minute or two and the crowd around us was now staring in amazement. I should have chosen entertainer as a profession. The way they were looking at me – wow. “Please, Miss. Follow me.” The officer said through gritted teeth. Was he getting angry now too? Aside from finding my predicament funny? I wanted to say something – anything – but my brain was frozen. All I did was stare at the crowd and hold my backpack. “Miss, if you do not comply, I will have to use force.” And what exactly did he mean by that? Throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me the rest of the way? That would at least give the crowd something to laugh at. Everything happened so fast I can hardly recall what came first. The roaring staccato of a stampeding crowd or a blue flash of light. The blue flash of light was painful, by the way. Very painful. Next thing I know I’m lying on the ground flapping away like a fish out of the water. How humiliating. And then – again – all went black. Enough with the blackness, okay?! I heard groaning when I woke up. And then someone moaned. Oh wait! That was me. My head hurt so badly, I might have just ran up against a pole a dozen times. I was laying on something hard and cold. Slowly I sat up, blinking away blurriness and taking in my new surroundings. Grey walls, grey floor, grey door – and an ugly thin grey blanket at the foot of what seemed to be a bed. A prison cell. Wonderful. So I get thrown into prison for waking up in Wonderland? What kind of messed up crap was this? And how’d I end up in the cell in the first place? It clicked a moment later – that officer had shot me. I glowered. I sat up against the cool wall and that’s when I noticed my backpack was missing. A sigh escaped my throat. I waited and waited and waited… I don’t know how much time passed by until the door finally open – retracting into the wall. Like on Star Trek! That was neat. Another black clad officer came through and with one hell of a deep voice, he said to follow him. I didn’t really have much choice but to comply so I got up and I walked out of my prison cell. Two other guards followed me – did they really think I was such a threat that they needed three security officers? The thought made me giggle, earning a dark look over the shoulder from the guy walking in front of me. Seemed these people had no sense of humor. They led me into another grey room, like the ones you saw on TV in those detective shows. Only the furniture – or lack thereof – was a little different. A large table stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by four simple chairs. There was no big mirror so I guess they had security cameras installed somewhere. The guards stayed behind in the corridor and left me alone with an elderly man wearing a dark green uniform. He looked normal enough. Still, I wrinkled my nose as I caught sight of my stuff laid out on the table. They’d emptied my backpack. A woman’s backpack. Damn it – embarrass me why don’t ya? The man gestured to the chair opposite him and I sat down. I tried to tell my heart to calm down but evidently, it didn’t want to listen. It pumped so hard I was sure the man could hear it. He cleared his throat and smiled – I wish he hadn’t. He looked pleasant when he simply stared but when he smiled – the Grim Reaper himself, I tell you! “What is your name?” He asked in a deep ugly voice. For a second I thought about telling the truth. But would it have done me any good? I think not. I hurried sifting through the slush that was my brain and sighed. I really didn’t want to talk to this guy. “What’s your name?” I asked and smiled sweetly. So these guys had no sense of humor and were immune to my female charm. Bummer. “Perhaps you do not fully understand the situation you find yourself in.” He stated matter-of-factly. “I suggest you cooperate.” He cleared his throat and leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table while steepling his fingers underneath his chin. Thin white hair was drawn from his face, showing an ugly widows peak and strange looking spots all over his scalp. Wow – a walking dead man. “What is your name?” He asked again, arching a brow. I scratched at my neck, feeling hot all of a sudden. The man in front of me was staring, there were no doubt cameras hiding somewhere – I was on a platter, for chrissakes! “Kathryn.” I lied, giving him the first name that came to mind. “Kathryn Janeway.” I really hoped they didn’t have some sort of futuristic lie detector thing – and I still don’t know why I gave him the name of the one Starfleet Captain I dislike the most. In retrospect I think Sam Carter or Vala Maldoran would have been better. But anyway… Yes, I gave him the name Janeway. I was waiting for him to laugh in my face because everyone knew Star Trek. Right? Well, maybe this guy had completely missed the pop culture thing and the Star Trek hype because he simply nodded and sat back in the chair. “You trespassed on restricted ground due to the arrival of the Chief of State.” “I did?” I croaked. The man glowered at me. “The penalty is several days of incarceration.” “Because of a politician?” My voice squeaked. “Listen – I don’t know what’s going on here. Either I’m losing my mind or… I’m losing my mind! I don’t even know where I am let alone how I got here.” “Your excuses will not work.” The man without a name snapped at me. He thrust a thumb outward to the things laying on the table. The first thing he pointed at was my Sony Ericsson cell phone. “What is this?” I stared at him, open-mouthed. Nuh-uh. He wasn’t serious? Was he? “What does it look like?” I asked, not even trying to hide the smirk. “What is this?” He asked again, picking up the phone and turning it around in his hand. Oh wow. He really didn’t know. I felt panic creep back up my spine. In a world where they knew no cell phones? Yeah, you were in trouble. In the deep beep kind of trouble, if you get my meaning. “It’s a telephone.” I answered flatly, taking deep breaths to calm my nerves. “A what?” Oh. Dear. Lord. “A phone. You talk to other people by dialing a number.” “A communication device?” I nodded. The next thing on the table was my wallet. Damn – so he would figure out I lied about my name. Well, I couldn’t get into more trouble, could I? “And this?” He asked suddenly and I couldn’t hold back a slight giggle. It just wasn’t possible anymore. “That’s where I carry all my important stuff. ID card, drivers’ license – you know?” He pushed it over and narrowed his eyes. “I have never seen this kind of writing before.” I was about to give him a flipping stupid remark when a door behind him opened. Some sort of thing stepped into the room and I was up and in the corner within a second. It was huge and hairy and had a snout. With fangs protruding towards the lower jaw. Its long pointy ears stuck up out of its head and its eyes were positively glowing purple. In a strange way, it looked like a camel on two legs. And I swear it smiled! “Is this our guest?” It suddenly asked. I squeaked in the back of my throat and my eyes widened. It spoke! The military man nodded once. “Yes, Sir. She has been cooperating. To an extent.” I frowned at the man. “To an extent? I answered each and every one of your stupid questions!” The camel-on-two-legs turned its gaze on me. “Please. You mustn’t be afraid. We’re all friends here.” Yeah. Of course we are. “I am Silas Tri’fel. Assistant to Chief of State Fey’lya.” He held out a hand to me but I was still too stunned. Was I really speaking to an alien? Because it struck me as rather odd that someone of importance – and I could only assume so – would like to dress up the way he did just for fun. “Do not be alarmed. We will not hurt you.” “What –“ I swallowed. My throat felt parched. “What are you?” I breathed. He – it sounded like a he – seemed to be taken aback. I couldn’t really interpret the signs he was throwing my way. “I beg your pardon?” “Are you an alien?” He surprised me when he threw his head back and laughed. -----signature----- I claim Kyp Durron. I James T. Kirk.
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NYCitygurl Title: Manager of SFFBC, C&G, NSWFF, and Icons Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 1/7 11:40am Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	This keeps getting better!! I love that she gave herself Captain Janeway's name -----signature----- I agree with RJ Officially Idri's Muse "Hat. We thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat."
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Jag4Me Title: C&G and FCC Game Hostess Registered: Jan '08	Date Posted: 1/7 11:42am Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Yes, I gave him the name Janeway. I was waiting for him to laugh in my face because everyone knew Star Trek. Right? Well, maybe this guy had completely missed the pop culture thing and the Star Trek hype because he simply nodded and sat back in the chair. I also loved the camel-on-two legs! -----signature----- The Other Innocent Diva Twin Master to EnviousSerious-Rue "I only have moral and ethical objections to something if I'm not being included." - Darth_wanderguard Darth_wanderguard is mine
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angry_bendu1 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 1/7 12:58pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	In the deep beep kind of trouble, if you get my meaning. Sounds like beepin beep kind of deep beep trouble. And yes I would like to get a pm. Thanks, and I can't wait for more! -----signature----- Ramblings of a Jedi (snarky Jesika's diary- filled w/ romance, sarcasm, etc.): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28753761/p1/?0 I was staring at the orange juice because it said "concentrate". Proud owner of a '96 Geo Metro. "To the Crapmobile!"
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 1/7 2:33pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Like on Star Trek! That was neat. LOL. What a mess... this is hilarious to read. Thanks for the update! Trikes -----signature----- My Uncle Sam sends me places... the "going OCONUS lol" is here! Current Location: Iraq Don't bother running. You won't get far enough. http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com
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mavjade Title: Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 1/7 2:57pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	Oh wow, Ceillean! That was a blast to read, so hilarious! for that matter, maybe I was still lying on the sidewalk and people were gawking at my unconscious form. You know your in a sad state of affairs when you hope this is what is going on. I heard groaning when I woke up. And then someone moaned. Oh wait! That was me. LOL! I've done that before. Its really embarrassing if you ask who is making the noise! ...the door finally open – retracting into the wall. Like on Star Trek! That was neat. “Kathryn.” I lied, giving him the first name that came to mind. “Kathryn Janeway.” ROFLOL! That was just too good! Poor girl, waking up in an unknown place, getting arested and now there is an 'alien' talking to her. She's not having a very good day. But it does make for excellent reading! I can't wait for more! Great job! -----signature----- Parent: I need a snot sucker! My coworker: Does she mean a bulb syringe or a Respiratory Therapist?? NaNoWriMo '09: Unto Itself, A Higher Law: 25,103 words so far
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Darth Muis Registered: Mar '00	Date Posted: 1/7 11:36pm Subject: RE: Losing my mind, going crazy, whacko (Dear Diary Challenge 2009)
	That was a great read! I love your attention to detail and your characters perception of the GFFA. It's just hilarious! Thanks for the PM, keep me updated! -----signature----- Talon Intelligence Squadron http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com 'Wilson' or 'The Diary of an Astromech Droid' http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29659538 "Once a Talon, always a Talon."
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