Jedi Council Forums - Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst

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Author	Topic: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 11/2/09
DarthMousche Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 12/28/05 5:45pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	You are a master of playing with the emotions, that's for sure - Obi-Wan's and ours. First the agony over Qui-Gon still suffering the torture chamber, then the confusion and wondering what the deuce is going on with Xacor's and Sle'fey's odd behavior. After that, as his eyes were opened to the plan, the anger just swelled. He felt violated. Such a simple sentence, but I just about exploded at that point after your buildup to it. I think all my fingernails are gone after reading the exchange (a very weak word for what actually happened) between Qui-Gon and Tharten , and it was very satisfying to see Obi-Wan lash out. Somehow I can't shake the feeling that Qui-Gon knew more about this than he has led us to believe... Maybe it's because he's good at listening to the Force. I do hope we will get to see more of him, though - and not dead. -----signature----- Former padawan to the illustrious Jedikma ~ Out to lunch - back soon!
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Layren Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 12/28/05 6:43pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Finally able to post a review Let me just say thanks so much for posting before I left on vacation I printed the entire 16 page post and stapled it to take with me since I knew I would be without internet access for five days Then let me first say ARGgggggggggghhhhhh you horrible woman! I knew I didn't like Tharten! I hate that woman ....I hope she gets what she deserves Ahem anyway -- brilliant as always, Diane and perfectly executed to leave us readers longing for more yet you're working with the awards so when will the next post be???? -----signature----- Proud Master to Ara-gon The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's) Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge I am Jinngerbread.
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TKeira_Lea Registered: Oct '02	Date Posted: 12/29/05 5:18am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Hurry up, Obi-Wan! OOo! A long post and so beautifully written as always. You have a wonderfully lyrical, descriptive style that just flows. Bravo. I really liked this part - One wound still oozed slowly, red-brown liquid following the pale line of bone and skin until the droplets slipped free onto the once-beautiful floor - a slow tap...tap... tap. It was almost soothing to listen to his lifeblood leaching out his future. Can't wait for more. -----signature----- http://www.lominalecantina.com Do you ever talk to yourself? Worry when you answer back. current fanfic ~ Return to Bolis Island http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29571370/p1/?19
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Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 12/29/05 11:46pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Oh my word! Actually, words fail me. I can't come up with a coherent comment. You are such an amazing writer, my dear. I will plead for Qui to survive. Think of the angst potential in Obi-Wan's guilt for not being able to stop Tharten and if Qui were to ask, "Where were you?" Even just in innocent inquiry, there could be posts and posts of angst. KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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solojones Registered: Sep '00	Date Posted: 12/30/05 12:49am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Oh man. Oh man... I don't even know what to say right now I'll try to form some coherent thoughts when it's not almost three in the morning, but damn, it's going to be hard anyway. How could they- how could you - ... !!! -----signature----- 6 x 9 = 42 Proud member of the Colbert Nation My short films: http://www.youtube.com/solojones1138
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Sionnach-Airgid Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 12/30/05 10:14pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Poor Obi-Wan! To have to watch his master suffer like that! to Master Tharten for hurting Qui-Gon and Obi! And shame on Master Sle'fey for allowing it, even if it was to get info However, I am glad that Obi is finally out of that cell! I just hope they're able to save Qui-Gon and that Obi can recover. An excellent post as always and I shall be eagerly awaiting the rest! Can't wait to find out what going to happen next! Thanks so much for the pm! -----signature----- The Force made me do it! I always follow the will of the Force! My fics: http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p2 Proud Master of yodas_waiter! One of Courtney_Solo's many knighted padawans Team Search & Destroy
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Darth_Pixel Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 12/31/05 9:49pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	DIANE you wonderful, talented, horrible, terrible woman! That was incredible! I don't know whether to scream at you or to offer you that full length Rob Roy card board cutout someone gave me as a joke , I do know however that that post was the old diane magic at its finest. Excellent, excellent work. I really want Ol' buckethead to make it out alright, but I'm thinking you're too professional of a writer for it to all turn out in the end. All I'm thinking about now is the post where Obi has to tell Qui's wife what happened... -----signature----- "Jedi" Master to raisedbywolves and Commander-DWH "I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it." There is no "I" in Team, but there is a "m" and a "e"
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Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 12/31/05 11:41pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	It took a marathon read, but I've finally caught up again... and just in time for a massive cliffie! This is a fantastic story, Diane - I love all the twists and turns you've weaved through it. The characterisations are wonderful. I love the ineteraction between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon - even under the horrible conditions of the torture cell, the affection that they have for one another is clear. Atel is a wonderful character as well, caught in a very difficult situation. And Sidious and Maul... wow, they're more than enough to give you nightmares. I'm glad that the Council isn't completely corrupt, but it seems Sle'fey has made some questionable decisions over the years. Poor Obi-Wan, to find out he's been used like that after all he's done for the Jedi... Spectacular work on this story. Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but it's been a very enjoyable read catching up. Now I just have to wait anxiously for the next post! Qui-Gon...?
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River_Stone Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 1/1/06 10:23am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Obi-Wan's despair was loud in the Force, tearing through it with black shards of ice and dark fury. But there were no shouts of rage, no calls for revenge or retribution, only the horrified whisper, "No..." Words failing...story..too good... I was sitting on the edge of my seat through the whole post! I could so clearly see Obi-Wan anguishly watching the video whilst the Council sit dispassionately around him; I could feel Qui-Gon's weak defense of both him and his Padawan, and at the end my thoughts turned to Atel, wondering what Tharten might have done with her... Simply amazing. -----signature----- "May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out." Galadriel, FOTR, LOTR trilogy Padawan to the wonderful dianethx
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 1/4/06 3:32pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	A couple of things... I'm going to reply to all your lovely posts now because I have no idea when I will be able to update. I'm helping with the Awards, doing some of the coding and that may take a bit of time. However, next post will be about Obi-Wan and Atel. And I am working on it but it's a pretty intense post so it may take a while longer. Just so you know. Plus I think, from now on, I'll only wait a few days rather than weeks to reply. It's really not right that you all have to wait so long for my replies just because I'm so slow at writing things, even though the mods don't want us to reply so frequently. I might have misinterpreted their new rules a bit more strictly than is really there - once I reread them. As an aside, during the last Awards go-around, I requested that this story not be nominated for any more awards. Ummm, I've changed my mind. Yes, RL does that to you. I'm allowed to change it, right? However!!!! Not, not, not even suggesting anything else, only that I've changed my mind about it. Nothing else. Really! Okay, so I'm being inarticulate. I didn't know how else to say it without sounding like a complete idiot or a fool. Oh well, guess it's too late for that. Move along, move along... Now to the important stuff, the replies. Wow, you people are just wonderful. I've just been astonished at how much you all have picked up with my (what I thought was) subtle hints. And I've been reading them over and over again. You are the best! You all know that replies are food, drink and air to the writer!! Anakins_Force You should feel bad for Obi-Wan. He is a victim, he's been one for many years. In a way, it's a lot worse for him. Qui-Gon, at least, was able to get on with his own life and make something concrete and useful. Obi-Wan, while doing the work of a Jedi, was being used. I'm not sure what would be worse… It has crushed him and will continue to do so at least for the next couple of posts…. To answer your question, no, Qui-Gon didn't know that he might end up dead but I think he would have gone anyway if it would stop the killing of the dismissed Jedi and if it was the will of the Force. Qui-Gon would think it worth the sacrifice to find out who Tharten was dealing with. Whether he finds that out or not, you'll just have to wait. Sorry. You'll find out about Qui-Gon's fate in the post after next. Thanks for reading. Kitara I'm so happy you were holding your breath. Made my day! Thanks. BrightFeather Killing your Qui.. would I do that? You bet I would. Whether I do or not, you will see in post after next. We have a few things to clear up first. Thanks for reading. kateydidnt Ohhhh, she remembered! Yes, all the statements you see there will be in the story but she may be misinterpreting things. The Force is full of eddies and currents and she might be seeing things that are not what they seem. I made sure to put the statements into my outline so that they are where they are supposed to be in the plot. Thanks about the echoes of language and plotlines. I try, I really do. Thanks so much. The rest of Atel's vision will take some time. Thanks for reading. Musing I would think that Obi-Wan would not be too happy with the Jedi Council after this whole thing is over. If nothing else, for them to use Qui-Gon as bait and possibly get him killed, isn't a good thing in Obi-Wan's eyes. No, it's not your imagination. I deliberately put TPM and AOTC references in there. You mean the NOOOO and the "Qui-Gon Jinn would never join you." Plus Obi-Wan watching from behind a colorful wall/barrier in each case – red in TPM and blue here. I did leave rather a cliffie. And, bad person that I am, I actually enjoyed it. You won't know Qui-Gon's fate for a couple of posts. Atel shows up next post and Maul is still around. He will be a factor before this is all done. Thanks about the evil genius. VaderLVR64 I wouldn't kill Qui-Gon???? Are you sure? I might. Or I might not. It's not over yet. Gotta love evil cliffies. Thanks. Princess_Arulmozhi I can't kill him???? Why ever not? LOL. Someone has to. If I do kill him, I'll make sure he and Obi-Wan have a nice angsty talk before he goes. Okay? Kynstar Yes, the Council has been manipulating things from the beginning. Tharten was there at the start but Sle'fey came into the Council fairly early, realized that there was more going on than just layoffs and has been trying ever since to thwart the bad guys. However, you play with bad guys, you might become one. It's a slippery slope. Glad you enjoyed it. Leona Yep, three posts. I wondered where you had gotten to but I know a mod's life is a hard one. Just glad you caught up. You should be worried about the Bendu and their families. I surprised you about Sle'fey and Xacor? Cool. Hope it wasn't too much of a surprise. I did lay a lot of hints but they were fairly subtle. I assume the OMG was for Qui-Gon. LOL. Thanks for reading. raisedbywolves Wow, I don't know where to begin. I'm so thrilled that you like my story enough to write so much. Cool. I'll try to remember that I shouldn't complain anymore about the description. I do love it so much and you'd be surprised how much of it I take out before the final posting. I am very careful about my word choice although I must admit that when I get tired, I tend to let that slide just a bit. But I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much. I sent you the PM on Qui-Gon and Le'orath's date epilogue. Hope you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Living in the moment, as it were. I absolutely adore writing those two. They are such a great couple, stubborn and loving and vulnerable. It's too bad that I haven't had any more bunnies attack me with those two and I don't plan on writing any more of the pair after Betrayal is done. But you never know. I hadn't planned on writing this either. Ah, the Sith. I must admit that I love, love, love writing Sidious and Maul. Those two, one so superior and smug, the other servile while plotting his master's downfall. They are just so evil and enjoying it so very much. Chilling and icky. Yep, that's them. Not to mention, cunning and disgusting and the ultimate bad guys. Gotta love it. Ah, finally, a person who gets Atel. Thank you!!!!!! You have her down perfectly. Rigorous thinking, trying to do the right thing even if it hurts the one she loves like a father, following the rules so much that it ties her up in knots. And yes, I'm still writing about Corporate America. Get the job done no matter what the cost. Follow the rules no matter how ridiculous. Tell the bigwigs what they want to hear to protect yourself or those you love but try to get others to follow the company goals, even if the goals are stupid and impossible. Thank you, thank you. I loved writing the torture chamber almost as much as writing the Sith. It was difficult to get the tension just right. I wanted the reader to see Qui-Gon falling back into the madness and trying to hold it off with pain and concern. Yes, the other method would have been as effective but that would be a different site… LOL. Last post. I had hints about Xacor in the introduction of his character post. Where Atel was thinking that Xacor liked to talk to Obi-Wan but that Obi would be unhappy and upset for days afterwards. It was subtle, probably too subtle but I was trying to show that Xacor was befriending Obi-Wan, even as he had to do what was necessary for the good of the Order. It was a fine balance between not allowing my readers to know who the good guys were and the bad guys without giving away the underlying plot. I like subtlety. Thanks about the helplessness. I'm glad that I was able to convey that. I was pretty tense writing it since I tend to go into the story emotionally when I write. I was darn tired when it was complete. As to the final outcome, Ben and Le's mutilated bodies… hummm, that sounds like a good idea. LOL. I can't tell you how it will end but hopefully, you will be satisfied with it. As for the viewpoints that the Force needs Qui-Gon to die? No, I don't think so. The Force needed Qui-Gon there at the Temple in order to draw out the Sith agent and perhaps reveal the Dark Lord so that he can be eliminated, bringing balance back to the Force. In this story, Anakin isn't the Chosen one. But Qui-Gon doesn't need to die for that to happen. That he might die because of what was going on, that's possible. I just can't tell you. What fun would that be???? Now, No-Name is confusing me. Which no-name are you talking about? The criminal who turned Qui-Gon in on Naboo? No, he's not anyone. I don't think. But I'll ponder that further. Thanks for the really long review. You know, authors live for reviews. They are like air and water and a great deal of chocolate. Indispensable. Thank you. LE Betrayal is really about many things. Betrayal on a personal level with Obi-Wan being used all those years, on a corporate level with Tharten and her friends were willing to sacrifice everyone else for their own selfish benefit, on a galactic level in that the Senate was willing to go along with decimating the Jedi Order to save a few credits. It's a multi-layered betrayal – hopefully so that each reader can choose for his/herself what Betrayal actually means. For me, it's Obi-Wan's personal betrayal that hits hardest but the other ones also add layers to it. Ah, yes descriptions. I do love them. I can just picture the lovely overindulgent clothing that Zaros is wearing and contrast that with the simple tunics of the good Jedi and the falling-apart clothing of field operatives like Obi-Wan and Atel. Glad that the whole scene with Obi-Wan watching his master get skewered yet again (shades of TPM) came through. I needed to build up the tension and it was really hard since I kept wanting to get to the end of the post. LOL. As for the cliffie, got to have at least one good cliffie in a really long story. At least one! Thanks. Shadowolf You had fallen behind but I’m glad you found your way back. The cell scene was difficult to write because I had to make it seem like Qui-Gon was going crazy in one way and Obi-Wan was in another way and have them match up in their attempts to stave off the effects. Glad it came out alright. And I love writing Sidious. He's just so deliciously evil. I probably should write him more often. He's the easiest one for me to write for some reason. Obi-Wan is the hardest. I give you permission to pop the Rodian. Anytime. He's so servile and selfish and yet he hasn't got enough backbone to really do anything. Sle'fey dislikes Zaros intensely but was playing a role so he had to pretend to be on Zaros's side. Until now. Another non-breather. LOL. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. Yodan Hello there. Thanks. LOL on the Qui-Goner. As for posting soon, you should know by now, that soon isn't in my vocabulary, unfortunately. I'll write as fast as I can. Thanks. PadawanKaterina Obi-Wan may not forgive them or may. He's a pretty forgiving guy. Heck, he was willing to help bring Anakin back from the brink. I think he'd have enough smarts to at least hear them out. Or not. Will Obi-Wan have a confrontation with Tharten? That would be telling but if he did, I'm sure the Council would see it. They do, as you pointed out, have a vid screen. Atel is showing up in the next post. Don't worry. Tharten didn't do anything to her, other than fill her head with lies. Thanks about Sle'fey. He's trying. I'll put you on the PM list. No problem. Thanks for reading. Jedi_Tigris Sorry, you'll have to wait to find out if Qui-Gon is going to survive. LoL on the changing of Obi-Wan's mind about the Council. Maybe. But he's a pretty forgiving guy, depending on whether Qui-Gon survives. He might forgive them but he would never forget it. Yes, Sle'fey and Xacor and the other Councilors on their side are trying to do the right thing but they are hamstrung by not knowing who their enemy is. Now they do… sort of. Next post will have Obi-Wan and Atel. No Qui-Gon in that one. Thanks. bek Yes, Obi-Wan has a right to be angry, furious in fact. They played him for years, all of his Knighthood and only now is he finding out. But in a way, it's freeing. Now he knows that it wasn't him that was doing less than his best but them making him think that he was not good enough. Qui-Gon not die? Really? LOL. I can't say whether he will live or die but you should be worried for his wife and child. Alone, on Naboo. The Council was rather awful to make Obi-Wan watch his Master getting gutted. But I don't think Sle'fey really expected her to do that, at least not so quickly. His mistake and Qui-Gon is paying for it. Thanks. Nem Yes, Obi-Wan will have to deal with this whole thing once it's done, whether Qui-Gon dies or not. He's not in good shape, as you pointed out, although he's getting better by the minute as the effects wear off. Decoying her off so that others can get to Qui-Gon. Do you think he's that rational at this moment? Maybe…. Thanks about the Betrayal. But it's not over yet. There's one more betrayal sort of to come. Atel shows up next post, Anakin, Maul and Sid are a ways off. As for waiting for the end, but ,Nem, then it would be over. LOL. I'm not, repeat not, writing a sequel to this. Not! LOL. I like tea. LOL. I did want to show how ordinary she wants Qui-Gon to think it is for her. But it's not. She's loving every second of his draining life… drip, drip, drip. Will Qui-Gon die? You'll have to wait and see. I can promise that more than one person will die before this is over. Mousche I love playing! Oh, come on. Most readers love cliffies. I know I do. I did try to build up on the tension. I wanted Obi-Wan to be exhausted and confused and upset so that it was only with time that he realized why he was there. I was very careful to try and build up the tension so that it wasn't obvious. The entrance of Zaros was supposed to divert your attention away from Qui-Gon while still making things seem odder and odder. Sorry about the fingernails. No I'm not. LOL. As for Qui-Gon knowing more, he didn't really. Except that he knew the Bendu had a least one friend among the Jedi and that he was following the will of the Force. He knew he needed to be there. He just didn't know he'd get gutted. He probably would have still gone, though. You know Qui-Gon and the Force. As for not dead, you'll just have to see. Thanks for reading. Layren I knew when you told me you were going to print it out and read it on vacation that you would want to kill me when you got home. LOL. I assume you had a bad feeling about Tharten. She was fairly obvious as a bad person. As for the awards, yes, I will be working fairly hard on them, coding and helping out. So I doubt that I'll get much written. I can only try. However, the good news is that Atel and Obi-Wan are starting to annoy my brain – which means that they are demanding the next post. If I can only focus…. Thanks. TKeira_Lea Thanks. I do love to write description. I loved writing that paragraph. I think it pretty much said it all – the despair, the lifeblood flowing away from the Jedi, the horrible way the Temple has fallen into disrepair. Thanks. KD Thanks. I'm glad I made you incoherent. Pleading is good. I loved the angle you used, "Where were you?" to ask of Obi-Wan. LOL. Very funny. solojones How could I???? Oh, so easily. I've been planning it all along. Thanks for reading. Sionnach-Airgid I agree. It's supposed to be reminiscent of TPM with Obi-Wan helplessly watching Qui-Gon get skewered from behind a blue haze rather than a red one. Shame indeed on Tharten. Unfortunately she's quite happy at the moment. Shame on Sle'fey. He's not happy that it happened. He doesn't bear a grudge with Qui-Gon but he thinks he needs to do this in order to save the Jedi. Could he have done it any other way? Probably. Thanks for posting. Pixie I'm a wonderful terrible woman. Why, thank you. Ohhhh, Rob Roy. Yummy. Thanks about the excellent. I try, I really do. As for whether Qui-Gon makes it out or not, well, I'm not telling. I might kill him off or I might not. You know how I love sappy, happy endings. Also, sad, unhappy ones. Thanks. Knight_Aragorn Cliffies are good! Thanks. I do love to play with the characters. Obi-Wan always escapes me but Qui-Gon, I think I've got him. You're right, though. The affection those two have is very clear and marked. Obi-Wan has missed him a lot in the last 10 years. Thanks about Atel. A lot of readers really dislike her. As for Sidious and Maul, gotta love them. They are just so delicious to write. As for Sle'fey and the Council, they've been doing questionable things for a very long time. He really needs to meditate and come to grips with what he's had to do for the good of the Order. Hopefully, Obi-Wan will be able to forgive them eventually, assuming that he lives through it all. There is one good thing about being behind in reading. You get to catch up. Thanks for being here. River_Stone You are so nice to say. I'm glad you felt the anxiety of the whole scene. I was biting my nails for a different reason, hoping that it would work. I guess it did. Gotta love cliffies. Atel shows up next post. She and Obi-Wan have a discussion. Thanks so much for your support, Padawan. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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Ara-gon Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 1/5/06 2:33pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Diane, I have to tell you that this is one of a handful of fics that finally lured me out of lurkdom. Your writing is so amazing. Your attention to detail and word choice--impeccable! One example of many that I want to share was the description of broken tiles cracking under Obi-Wan's boot. Such a small thing, but so telling. You've done a fabulous job of weaving together layers of meaning, foreshadowing, plot, emotion, description. I'm in awe. I thought that perhaps Slefay was wearing a mask, but Xacor (sp?) caught me by surprise. Oh, and it was painful to watch Qui-Gon be skewered by that evil, foul woman. I didn't enjoy the scene in TPM, but at least he was armed and fighting. What you did was just . . . just . . . agonizing. Why is the Force so cruel to her most faithful minions? And Tharten. Hmph. I want to use a vibroshiv on her, but first, I want to get it plenty dull on Zaros, that overripe bureaucrat. Very worried I am for the Jinn family. Naive the Bendu are to leave them unprotected at such at time. If I lose sleep over this cliffie, I'm sending you the bill for my coffee supply! Please add me to your PM list and send along the PM version of the end of the date. -----signature----- Jinngerbread's Padawan The Trouble with Qui-Gon (humor) http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/26735859/p1/?7
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Jaira Title: FanForce Arkansas PR Officer Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 1/5/06 7:52pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Hey! I spend a week reading the whole story, and then you kill off Qui-Gon?!!! (Or at least it seems that way). How could you?! You tricked me....Okay, please PM whenever you update.... -----signature----- Where has all the Siriwan gone? Need a fun break? http://z9.invisionfree.com/Jello_Anarchy/
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raisedbywolves Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/13/06 4:37pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05 - Date Edited: 1/13/06 4:50pm (1 edits total) Edited By: raisedbywolves
	waves I'm so thrilled that you like my story enough to write so much. What can I say? I babble a lot. Especially when I'm feeling enthusiastic about something. I sent you the PM on Qui-Gon and Le'orath's date epilogue. Hope you enjoyed it. It was lovely. And actually added a lot to their story, other than just being entertaining. I don't plan on writing any more of the pair after Betrayal is done Awww... Now don't say a thing like that... Ah, finally, a person who gets Atel. I know people who are like her, and I love them to pieces, even if I do sometimes want to bash their heads in. "fight the system" sure has gone out of fashion these days! Yes, the other method would have been as effective Figured. Ben and Le's mutilated bodies… hummm, that sounds like a good idea Oh no! Bad! Bad idea! In this story, Anakin isn't the Chosen one. Well we all know he's not your chosen one But hmmm... interesting. I just can't tell you. What fun would that be???? None at all. No, he's not anyone. I don't think. But I'll ponder that further. Really! It's just like me to read this kind of thing into a story. Thanks for the really long review. You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it. -----signature----- What She Saw: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/21886008/?0 Proud (if erstwhile) padawan to Master Darth Pixel. It's not Darth Real Life, actually - I prefer to think of it as my very demanding Jedi Master.
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 1/15/06 5:42am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05
	Everyone, I'm currently working on the next post. It will be shorter than normal but I think you'll "enjoy" it. Sorry, no Qui-Gon... I'm determined to post on Thursday!!!! Ara-gon Oh, what a lovely thing to say... I do like to put little tidbits into my stories. The broken tiles thing, the fraying cuffs on the tunics, the dust in the corners - all to give people a visceral feeling of decay. Glad you picked up on it. As for Sle'fey and Xacor, most people were surprised by one or the other. I did leave hints but they might have been too subtle at the time. As for skewering Qui-Gon, I did that deliberately. I wanted the tension to up constantly and for you to feel terrible for both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. I've been planning it that way all along! As for Tharten, I'm sure she will be at risk when Obi-Wan gets there, no matter if Qui-Gon is still alive or not. I think she should be roasted over a slow fire but... we shall see. Worried you should be for the Jinn family. I'll put you on the PM list. And I sent you the PM epilogue. Thanks so much for reading. Jaira But.. but... he's not dead yet. Wow, a whole week reading this. Kudos to you. It's pretty long. Thanks for stopping by. I'll put you on the PM list. raisedbywolves I have to tell you that I really love your name. It's easy to remember and so funny. LOL. Babble away. I have no problem with people wanting to talk about stories, even mine. I'm a babbler myself. Glad you enjoyed the PM date epilogue. I tried to make it as realistic in terms of their relationship as possible. But, as I said, after this is over, I doubt very much if I'll do anything more with the pair in terms of their history. I just want to go onto other things. But thanks for saying that! Ah, Atel. I know a lot of people like her as well - at my job. Fighting the system seems to have gone the way of the buggywhip. LOL on the figures about the other method. I'd have loved to write that but it's not board friendly. Sorry! LOL on the mutilated bodies. I don't have any of those right now. LOL. Just messing with you. You'll have to see what I do with the Jinn family but it won't be for a while yet. Nope, Anakin is not the Chosen one here. I figure the Chosen one is the person that kills off the last Sith lord. Will I do that in this story? Maybe..or maybe not. Thanks so much for reading. I really appreciate it. I also read the reviews right away (more than once ) but I do wait a while to reply. But I do really love reviews. They are like air and food to me! -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 1/16/06 8:52am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated 12/21/05 - Date Edited: 1/16/06 8:58am (1 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
	Couple of announcements: The last 3 times I've posted on Thursday, I've had the post ready for you all at least 3-4 days before that. I almost forgot to post it last time. So I'm changing my schedule to randomness. When it's done, it's done. Sorry guys. I'll try to post it close to Thursday and, of course, my signature will reflect the updates... Besides, it's almost done. A few more posts and your journey towards the darkside will be complete. LOL. Second thing, it's January. That means quilting time. I have an art show that I always show my quilts at and, since I make money with my quilts and I don't here, the money has to come first. I'll be thinking about the next post and even writing it when my muse strikes but the quilts have to come first right now. Oh, and I'd like to thank whoever nominated my stories in Before for awards. That was quite wonderful of you. My PM list is still active. If you get a PM and you don't want it, please, please let me know. When last we saw our heroes, Obi-Wan had just seen Qui-Gon being stabbed by Tharten. Now he's on his way to try and save his Master from certain death. Chapter 25 - Down the Stairway to Despair Hurry.... hurry.... hurry.... His heart wanted to burst out of his body even as it seemed to beat in time to his terrified thoughts. As Obi-Wan raced for the turbolift, almost skidding in his haste, his mind kept howling a desperate, Don't die, Qui-Gon. Don't you dare die on me. Intent on reaching the single working lift, trying to burn a hasty trail to its shabby doors and force them open with sheer will if necessary, desperate to reach his Master before it was too late, he scarcely noticed the sharp sounds behind him - of Sle'fey calling for backup and Healers and Xacor's strident voice rising in an effort to be heard over the increasing cacophony of chaos that was the Jedi Council. Instead, all that he was, all that he knew, was focused on a single purpose - saving Qui-Gon from certain death. As he stared at the frustratingly unopened doors of the turbolift, for one microsecond, he considered taking the stairs. But, as much as he wanted to fly to his Master's side, he knew it was an absurd idea. It was a hundred stories or more to the bottom of the Temple and he would never reach his Master in time. Not that way. The lift was notoriously slow; it had always been used as a lesson in patience. And the others had been broken for more years that he could care to remember. There was only one way down and he had to wait. Force help him, he had to wait here while Qui-Gon lay dying at Tharten's feet. Obi-Wan knew that he needed to calm down, to find his center, to let go of his fear. He would be no help to Qui-Gon or anyone else if he did not. But it was so blasted hard, especially after the sith-demon had gutted his Master and the turbolift was taking so... damn.... long. His hand tightened reflexively on his saber as he stood there and tried not to panic. Hurry... hurry... It seemed like several lifetimes later but at last he heard it, the slight off-pitched whir of opening lift doors. Obi-Wan tensed, ready to leap into the car just as soon as he had enough clearance. His heart seemed to pound into his braincase as he started to move forward. But his way was blocked. Some gundark was filling the space between the door and his escape into the turbolift, a fool who would not get out of the way fast enough for him. And as he tried to twist around the obstruction, he realized that he knew this person, this petite maroon-haired woman who stood there in ragged Jedi robes, looking so flustered, so unhappy, so... it was his Padawan, Atel. He hadn't even recognized her in his grief. Her face was a map of frown and concern and she just stared at him for a moment in shock. She opened her mouth - to pour out a greeting, to ask him a question - he did not know. All he could think of was to get into the lift and push it downward as quickly as possible. He sidestepped past her, shoving her roughly out of the way and stabbed at the bottom-most button. As the doors slid shut, Atel deftly slipped back into the car and stood there, gaping at him. "Master, what happened? You... you look terrible. Jinn didn't do that, did he? He...." Her small hand was reaching for him, as if to comfort, and her eyes was filled with anxiety. But Obi-Wan would have none of it. The Jedi, the Council, her constant assumptions, it was all too much. "He would never..." He snapped back at her. "Blast it, Atel, must everything out of your mouth be a condemnation of him?" She blinked in surprise, her pupils huge with shock. Pulling back, anxious and confused, she stammered her worry. "Forgive me but you were with him and now you are covered in blood. What else could I think?" Looking down, he stared unseeing at the splotches of red-brown, little patches of despair scattered over his tunic. Jedi cloth stained in dried gore. He was wrapped in it, Jedi duty and disaster, filthy and torn - once a proud symbol of who he was. Now it was only reflected what he had become and what he had always been - rubbish to be discarded when their use of him was done. Even his saber, clutched so tightly in his hand, was dark with dirt and neglect. Growling in disgust, he shoved it into the pocket of his leggings and tried not to think of the Council's betrayal. But he could not let it go. He teetered between fury and grief; his heart was pounding out the seconds.... hurry.... hurry... as the moment to save Qui-Gon began to slip through his fingers. When he was able to look up again, he saw her anxious face and realized that she would never understand. "It doesn't matter now." Obi-Wan turned away, punching again at the control panel. It was all he could do to keep himself from tearing into the wiring and over-riding the safety protocols. Anything to speed it up. He began to think that freefall would not be fast enough, not if he was too late. Frustrated, he all but snarled, "Why is it taking so long?" The turbolift seemed to groan in reply. But Atel didn't flinch at the sound, didn't seem to notice. Standing next to him, she asked carefully, "Master, where are we going?" Scowling at the controls, he watched helplessly as the readout slowly counted down towards his destination but it was easier than looking at her condemnation. He tried to sound calm but the terror of what had happened, of what was happening now, leached through. "To rescue Qui-Gon. Before that monster finishes what she started." A fierce, half-whisper caught in his throat. "Don't you dare die on me." Troubled astonishment colored her voice. "Rescue? Monster? Does the Council know of this?" He twisted abruptly, glaring down into Atel's worried eyes. "Council... that sea of rshhak filth." Even now, he could not begin to comprehend how much they had betrayed him and Qui-Gon. Years of being used - he felt as if he had never been so dirty, so violated in the purity of his service to the Order. How could they do this? How could they? Atel shrunk away, looking as if he had struck her. Then, stepping forward, her mouth grim with determination, she began to make excuses. "Master, what are you saying? They were mistaken about punishing you but they were only trying to do..." Grabbing onto his arm as she spoke, she was jostling him a little with each word but he roughly shook her off. Staring at her, hoarse with disbelief, he spat back, "Naive little fool. Your so-called honorable Jedi Council has manipulated us into this. For power, using everyone around them for their own ends." "Master, stop it." She was very firm. Looking into his eyes, her own were filled with compassion, certainly not with the anger he had expected when he accused her precious Council of wrong-doing. If he had not been so furious and terrified for his old Master, he would have pressed for answers. As it was, it didn't matter. He had to focus on rescue, not delve into the mistaken assumptions of one Padawan Learner. But he would like her by his side in this. She could be of enormous help if only she would see the truth of it. "Don't you understand? Those slimy obscenities have used him, have used me like bloody meat dangling in their trap. And Qui-Gon is going to pay..." The frown on her young face deepened with each word. "Trap? But Master Tharten said..." He stopped breathing then. His body knew even before his mind had caught up to the sheer enormity of it. She had talked to that demon from Ryloth's seventh hell. She had talked to Tharten. It must have been after he had been thrown into that torture chamber for there had been no time before that. Last night, she had consorted with the enemy - while he was in hell. And his fury at the Council and Tharten and the very Jedi Order itself turned on her. With a voice as deep and as cold as the space between galaxies, he snarled, "What did she say, Atel? Have you and she... have you been spying on me, too? Telling her what you know? Have you?" All the while, he kept moving towards her, his hands outstretched, fingers curled like rancor claws. Atel stepped back quickly, shaking her head in sharp denial. "Spying? I would never..." There must have been something in his face. She blanched, almost radiating apprehension, and recoiled there in the corner of the turbolift, putting up her hands as if to stop him from getting too close. Obi-Wan halted abruptly, looking down at his fingers and then at her. Her skin was pale corpse-color and she was watching him with wary consternation. Just how far had he gone down the dark path in his fear and anger - attacking Sle'fey and now this? And she thought, Force help him, she thought he was going to attack her. That she could be afraid of him hurt almost as much as the idea of her betraying his trust. He had to regain his calm before he could face Tharten. He took one deep breath and then another. He would have to be ready when the lift reached the bottom of the Temple or else he would be no good to anyone, least of all Qui-Gon. He twisted aside, staring down at his hands, waiting for the doors to open and allow him to help his old Master. Atel seemed surprised that he had not pressed for more information. When it was clear he would say nothing else, Atel said cautiously, "Master Tharten used to talk to me sometimes about you. She asked me yesterday to do what I can to help you. She really cares about you." Hysteria bubbled just beneath the base of his throat - it was all he could do to keep from laughing at the absurd idea of Tharten caring about anything but herself. He thought about all the times the Sith-damned Councilor had cornered him, trying to force him into doing something dishonest, always telling him that it was for his own good. He wanted to vomit out the memories. "I'm sure she only wanted the best for me." A gentle, hesitant touch. His Padawan was there beside him, tentatively stroking his arm, "Master, you are not well. You are not making sense." She hesitated as if she were afraid to make him angry once more, "Master Tharten said you might get like this." He did laugh then and, even to his own ears, it sounded irrational. It was just so unbelievable that she would defend that woman. Glaring down at her, with a rasping, caustic growl, he said, "Don't speak her name. That rsshak monster. She's working for a Sith lord." Atel's hand stilled at that and she looked at him with liquid regret, "That's... not possible. The Sith have been extinct for a long time. You told me so yourself. I think that..." "I was wrong. Don't you understand?" He scrubbed at his face, the pain of this conversation skittering under his skin, bubble-pops of anguish, and for a moment, he flashed back to the cell with its own horrors. Black ice slicing through his brain, the panic and terror still there. He tried to push it all away but his voice was ragged with fear for his old Master. "She stabbed him. He's.. Qui-Gon is lying in a pool of his own blood right now and he may not live to... She's tried to murder him." But Atel did not react with dismay, instead frowned at him with disbelief and regret. She shook her head, denial in her eyes. "Master, please calm down and think about this. Master Tharten would never do something so stupid." "Stupid.... yes, I guess it was." He was blinking at her, almost distracted as he thought of all that had taken place in the last few hours. But it was better than thinking of the future, of death and the despair that kept clawing at his spirit. "A fatal flaw in her perfect world of corruption. She took the bait." "Oh Master, you are talking nonsense." She sounded thoroughly miserable. He looked away, his hands fisting in fury, and stared at the slowly changing turbolift panel. Their progress toward the bottom of the Temple was slow, too slow, too slow. He would never reach Qui-Gon in time, not at this rate. And Atel was spouting foolish platitudes. How could she not... "Don't you understand? Sle'fey and Xacor set Qui-Gon up. Put him in that cell as if he was some kind of bloody prize, bait to trap her. And she took it. Blast it all to hell, she's tried to kill him and she's down there right now. And he's..." Her "Master..." was soft and so very unhappy, as if she believed him to be teetering on the edge of insanity, as if she was determined to pick up the pieces when he came back from the abyss. She was looking at him with such pity that it drove him back into fury. He did not want it, not her pity, not her incomprehension, not her liquid eyes gazing at him so sadly. And her inability to trust him in this only made his heart shatter into fragments and dust. "I'm going to save him if I can - from her, from you, from the whole damn Jedi Council if necessary." He stabbed again at the controls. "If only I could get this rancor beast of a turbolift to move faster." Atel grimaced at the sound of flesh against metal, at the slap of his hand against the controls. "This doesn't make sense. Why would they do such a thing to you? You're... " "Haven't you been listening? For power, power to rule over the Jedi. May they all burn in hell. To trap Tharten and get her to make some damnable mistake. They've been trying for years. Using me as bait." At the look of horror and abject pity in her eyes, he snapped at her, "Did you help them? Have you helped them manipulate me all these years? Spied on me?" She was shaking her head slowly and staring at him with growing concern. "Are you with me or against me, Atel? I have to know." In soft, gentle, even tones, sounding very much as she did whenever she was faced with some savage beast or crazed madman, she hurried to reassure him. "Master, always with you. You know that. I've wanted only the best for you." She had to stop for a moment, her voice rough with sorrow. "But you are not well. Obviously that cell has made you see things that aren't there. A Sith lord - that's the stuff of legends and holovid stories, not reality." "You are wrong." Could she not trust him to see what was right before his eyes? Did she know him so little? By his side again, stroking his arm as if to calm him, she said, "Master Obi-Wan, listen to yourself. Please. Master Tharten told me of the side-effects from that feedback device. Confusion. Paranoia. Sometimes delusions, even after a short time." "I am not... confused," He stepped back, out of her reach. She thought he was insane and that he was making up a tale so horrifying, so breath-taking in its scope that she thought he was lying about it all. Because of his experiences with that torture chamber. It hurt to breath. He just stood, unsteady, blinking rapidly in the subdued light of the turbolift car and gazed at his Padawan. It was beyond comprehension that she would think so little of him, that she would believe Tharten over someone she had worked with, trusted her life to for all those years. It wasn't enough that the Council betrayed his trust. The Force itself seemed to be at war with him, to take away everything that he had ever valued - his honor, his duty, his love for Qui-Gon, his love for Atel. Was there nothing left? There had to be something; there had to be. He almost choked out the words. "Tharten has been lying to you, don't you realize that?" She nodded slowly. "I suspected that she might be. So I broke into your medical files last night. What I learned is that the feedback devise causes changes in a person's outlook. When you got out of the cell last time, you were raving about Qui-Gon dying for hours afterwards. And you were paranoid for days before the effects disappeared. I can only assume that it's happening again." He towered over her, frowning down into her resolute face. He knew now that he would go on alone to rescue his Master, that he had no backup, no Padawan at his side, no one to trust in this, no one but his own skills and steadfast determination. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his strength for the coming battle. Then he said, with grim resolve, "Atel, I'm not making it up. Qui-Gon is dying. But you'll see the truth soon enough. We'll get there, hopefully in time. Then I will do what I must." "I can't let you do that. I'm sorry, Master but it's for your own good." She slid past him, nearing the door. The Force hissed a warning, the turbulent currents of dark and light twisting into a black slush of icy anger and shadowed despair. Cold waves of danger shivered down his spine and Obi-Wan twisted around, looking for the cause. But it was already too late. Atel reached over, moving toward him as if to grasp onto his arm. As he flinched away, she turned suddenly and pressed the emergency stop control for the turbolift. The car lurched abruptly, a tearing sound echoing in the small space, and then as it came to a complete halt, both Atel and Obi-Wan were thrown to the floor, all limbs and entanglement. In the far distance, an alarm gong started to clang. He was the first to scramble up, pushing her brusquely aside, and lunging for the controls. But it was not possible to fix it, to change the codes back to its original setting. Once the emergency stop had been engaged, it would take precious minutes to reconnect. Minutes that Qui-Gon did not have. He stood there, looking at the lighted panel in horror. Atel had condemned Qui-Gon to death with her action, condemned Obi-Wan to the hell of knowing that he would not get there in time. Never in time. Stunned, with the ache of bottomless sorrow, he could only whisper, "What have you done?" "What I must, Master. You need to see the Healers. I'm sure that after..." He could not bear to hear one more word of her lies. He sent a scathing glare at her, and turned away, dismissing her from his mind, his heart, his life. He did not have time for this. Not now, not ever again. Gathering up the Force, he reached out and began to push at the battered doors of the turbolift. He knew that he was close enough now that he could use the stairs to get to Qui-Gon if he could just get out of the lift in time. But the old doors were fighting him. They seemed to be almost alive, squealing into chaotic, high-pitched whines as he began to move them slowly apart; the electronics and servo-mechanisms began to shove back, shuddering with increasing power to stop him. Atel was grabbing at his arm, trying to divert his attention. She was blathering on about paranoia and seeing the Healers, and he roughly shoved her aside. But it did not stop her. She was back at him in an instant, pulling him, grabbing onto his tunic, and twisting him away from the doors, jabbering all the while that it was for his own good. It was too much, it was all too much. With one swift sweep of his hand, he Force-shoved her back into the corner of the turbolift, lifting her high into the air and then letting her fall abruptly to the floor. He didn't even look to see if she was alright. He just turned away and began to push at the doors again. The soaring, strident screams of overheated motors and failing electronics began to war with the stench of burning wiring but the doors were moving apart at long last. He increased the pressure, and with one final shove, Obi-Wan could feel the collapse of the mechanisms as the doors slid apart. He was between levels, of course, but it was only a meter or so drop to the next level. He slithered through the opening, jumping quickly to the floor and began to sprint for the stairway. Most of his heart and spirit was focused on trying to reach Qui-Gon but his mind could only admire the irony. As he reached the door to the stairwell and pulled it open, he recognized that he had been at the very same spot only a week ago, telling his Padawan about his first encounter with Qui-Gon Jinn and laughing about it. The rough, abused door was the same but he would never be, not now, not after all that had gone on in the last few days. But then there was no more time to think about her or forgiveness or the Council or his life beyond the now. There was only movement and the racing clock. He began to vault downward, Force-jumps to the next level, then a quick spin around the corner and another jump. Spin and leap, twist and turn. His body dove into the rhythm of it; he ignored the sputtering lights and the trash among the treads of the stairway, the cracking tiles and the filthy trails of seeping moisture on the walls. He did not even hear the cry from high above, of Atel shouting down to him, "Master, come back." There was only jump and turn, downward, downward. And a single thought - he had to reach Qui-Gon in time. Hurry.... hurry.... hurry.... -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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