Jedi Council Forums - Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst

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Author	Topic: Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated 11/2/09
LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/8/06 9:47am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	That was so suspenseful, but also beautiful and sad and hopeful. I felt so bad for Qui-Gon when he was laying there, in such pain and near death, while Tharten tortured him with her words. When she mentioned how badly she wanted Obi-Wan-in every way-it was sickening, and revealed her for the absolute monster she was. The question was never completed. Jinn's hand snaked out, hill-adder fast, grabbing onto her ankle and pulling hard. She went down in a flurry of beige synthsilk and brown robe, all awkward limbs and astonishment, and lay there for a moment. He scrambled up and, grunting softly as he shifted his weight, one hand pushing at his bloody wound, he stumbled toward the exit. Droplets of gore led a red-stain trail behind him. I loved the 'hill-adder' and description of her clothes as she dropped. So vivid. He soared, flailing about in the air and then hit the duracreet floor like wet meat, face-down and gasping in pain. The 'wet meat' was one description that jumped out as soon as I read it. Very very effective words to use. It actually gave me a shiver. You are a monster..." Loathing etched his face, the sharp frown embedded in his skin. Sera considered his accusation. It had some merit after all. Nodding thoughtfully, she said, "Yes, I suppose I am." That was just great. Tharten was standing there, beige tunic askew and smeared with blood, her crabbed mouth open in shock, her saber loose in her hands. She was blinking at him, a myriad of emotions passing over that corrupt face of hers; denial, domination, greed and, for a moment, an impossible touch of lust burnished into her eyes before she settled into brittle pity. 'Crabbed'. Another unique and memorable description. No one writes like you can. The whole fight was so tense, and I really had no idea what was going to happen next. I loved when Qui-Gon grabbed on her boot and pulled her down, protecting his old Padawan even as he lay in his own pooling blood. When Atel plunged her saber into Qui-Gon, I think I might've gasped out loud. I can't really blame Obi-Wan for thinking she had totally turned against him, since she'd already stopped the lift when he desperately needed to get to Qui-Gon. He and Atel are so messed up now, having gone through so much and learned so much about one another, they really need to heal together. Another great post of the best story around. -----signature----- What Light Breaks-AU Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Anakin angst (collaboration with Spiritweaver) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29979222/p1/?0 You want an Obi-Wan epic? We've got it right here.
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River_Stone Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 4/8/06 10:41am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	Oh my goodness. I can't...I mean...and I thought.... I am absolutely speechless. I have never read anything which has gripped me so, tearing out my heart and then putting it back in. It saddens me so to think that after all this Obi-Wan may have lost afterall. Qui-Gon may be alive, but what of his relationship with his Padawan? and how much of himself did he sacrifice in defeating Tharten? I honesty don't know what to say to explain the depth this story has had on me. I wish I did, but I don't. Unbelievable. -----signature----- "May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out." Galadriel, FOTR, LOTR trilogy Padawan to the wonderful dianethx
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/9/06 3:14pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	Kitara – LOL on your thought processes. They made me giggle. Thanks for reading. LE – I knew it would be suspenseful but now I have to figure out how to let everyone down and rest for a while. I'm happy that you liked it. Poor Qui-Gon indeed to have to be lying there bleeding to death and have her spewing her rotten ideas about the Jedi and especially about Obi-Wan. Only good thing is that she never got her hands on the luscious trifle. Thankfully. Thanks about the hill-adder and vivid. I try, I really do. I also liked the wet meat. It had such a realistic ring to it – full of blood and death. As for writing, I must disagree. Your vivid language and turns of phrase are just so glorious that I don’t hold a candle to them. But I do enjoy trying to make people think about things in a different way. The funny thing about action scenes is that I really hate to write them. I feel like such a fraud, waving my hand about – because I have no idea of katas or fighting styles or what a real fight would look like. I just go with what I've seen in the movies and what I would do in that situation and work from there. It must be okay since you liked it. As for the whole Atel thing with the saber, originally I was thinking that she would just pass her hand over the wound and help it to heal but after I read Medstar and realized that the Force can't be used that way, I had to come up with an alternative way to stop the bleeding before Qui-Gon died of it. Hence the saber. Plus it's so very dramatic. LOL. Atel and Obi-Wan have a lot of healing to do and I'm not sure that they will ever be quite the same again. We shall see. Thanks!!! River_Stone, LOL on your speechlessness. This story seems to have that effect on a lot of people. At least, this post I finally gave people an answer and got one of the villains to die a horrible death. Hurray! The relationships of Obi-Wan with Qui-Gon and Atel are going to be a problem for a while. Obi-Wan has a lot of healing to do and that will affect both his Master and his Learner. I'm just so happy that you enjoyed it. Thanks. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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Luna_Nightshade Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 4/9/06 6:36pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	collapses in utter exhaustion pants pulls Padawan hood over head I... just... time traveled. I now know what it is like to truly span years in one evening. I just read the entire thing, in one shot, and all I have to say is... Around year 2004, I would have given you nothing more than a gasp... a wordless and shuddering gasp. Now? This story has transcended so far beyond a gasp that all I can do is burrow under my robes and weep. Your writing style is... how shall I put it... unworthy of words. It is everything I have ever dreamed of attaining. It is everything that novels I have read have lacked. It is everything Star Wars deserves. It is... it is... art, and it tears me apart just to read it. Don't ask me to even attempt commenting further, or I'll never stop blabbering and I'll die right here, in my Padawan hoodie. I will tell you, however, that Obi-Wan and Anakin have the bond that I have sought to examine through my work. However, reading this piece, regardless of how AU it is, has showed me how Obi-Wan became the man he was. It was always so confusing to me how Qui-Gon could "create" an Obi-Wan, and you have illustrated that in ways above and beyond I could have possibly imagined. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have the relationship I have sought to create, pull apart, and torture through Obi-Wan and Anakin, and you have done it so amazingly that I... I will simply have to return to posts to re-read, savor, enjoy. Please pm me with the next update, whenever you have time for them. hoists self up from the floor, readjusts Padawan robes, and limps out of the thread in search of a very good hot chocolate -----signature----- It’s dark now and I am very tired. I love you, always. Time is nothing.
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raisedbywolves Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 4/24/06 6:45am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	Whoa... what a post! Loved your descriptions of Tharten's unbelievable evil: She was blinking at him, a myriad of emotions passing over that corrupt face of hers; denial, domination, greed and, for a moment, an impossible touch of lust burnished into her eyes before she settled into brittle pity. Damn. Can a girl get more duplicitous? The Force itself seemed to twist around her, its brilliant light shredding into smoky veils of fury, all black decay and corruption. She was poison, wrapped up in the illusion of offended virtue. sings "Bad To The Bone" Yeah, and then there was this: Atel had already taken her saber and plunged it deep into Qui-Gon's belly. A bloody mist of iron-tanged gore blossomed outward, enveloping them both, coating her and his dying Master in brown slime. Ahhhh! Ewwwwwww! Oh no!! How could she?! I was completely taken in, and completely shocked. Roiling in obscenity, the once clear currents of the Light were choked with contempt and hatred and fear and pain. The Darkside clouded everything. To me this sums up the whole mood of the post. Obi-Wan is so close to going dark in his desperation. Atel caught between the Order and her Master. Qui-Gon fading away. And it seems like Tharten's mere presence is the thing that's been enough to poison all their relationships so thoroughly that even at the end of the post, I wondered how they'll be able to patch together their broken lives and move on. Even if Qui-Gon does live. This completely broke my heart for Obi-Wan: It would be hard and filthy and an abomination to probe into her contaminated spirit and it would hurt like hellfire but he would do it if she did not cooperate. This was too important. It could mean the death of the Jedi Order and thousands of innocents if he did not try. What a difficult decision. But did Obi-Wan make the right choice, deciding to do what he sees as his duty, but corrupting his soul at the same time? It reminds me a little bit of the debates about what forms of torture or near-torture are legal in what situations. When the simple fact is - It's always torture, it's always going to be horrible for the victim and morally corrosive for the perpetrator and anyone that tries to justify his act. He knew that they were watching him, Sle'fey and Veendo and Nunb and Xacor and all the others. Oh - I'd completely forgotten about that! This really got to me, because it didn't sound like something Obi-Wan would have thought, before everything went down the tubes: At this moment, he could not even feel enough to hate her. Perhaps later, when the numbness wore off and he could think again, he would make her pay for her betrayal. She killed him without any remorse. How could she do that? I trusted her Well Obi, letting her hear you say THAT seems to be a bit of payback already... Obi-Wan kept blinking at the fool. Couldn't he feel the death? He is so lost. So sure that the whole world is out to get him that he can't even see the slim hope that still exists. ...Well, either that or someone else just bit the dust, which isn't a very comforting thought... And poor Atel: Atel gazed at him for a moment and then, turning away, she buried her head in her hands and began to cry. I did feel a little bit vindicated that one of my favorite OCs didn't bump Qui-Gon off. But how can she and Obi ever get over what just happened? He thought she'd committed the ultimate betrayal. He attacked her. Depending on when she woke she might have witnessed him mentally violating another being. Then he proceeded to accuse her of killing Qui-Gon to the Healer, and made it painfully clear just what kind of assumptions he'd been making about her loyalty. How are they ever going to be able to trust one another again? -----signature----- What She Saw: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/21886008/?0 Proud (if erstwhile) padawan to Master Darth Pixel. It's not Darth Real Life, actually - I prefer to think of it as my very demanding Jedi Master.
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 4/26/06 5:21am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	Luna_Nightshade – Wow, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I can't believe you read the whole thing in one shot. Oh, my goodness. It's really long. Over 240 pages at 10 pt type. I'm thrilled that you like my writing style. I've tried over the years to improve it. I have some flaws – love dangling particles and my commas are wonky at best – but I'm always trying to make things better. That you think it is art is quite astonishing and deeply moving to me. Thank you for that. I loved delving into the Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon relationship. This story needed to examine how a bond between them would be tested over the years, with all the stresses of long absences and differing agendas but their affection has always been deep and lasting. However, if you want to truly understand their relationship, read Princess_Arulmozhi's stories about them. She really has gotten it, much more so than I. I do have great affection for Qui-Gon, that shows through, I think, in all my stories. And I adore Obi-Wan as well. They have such a great dynamic between them that it's fun to play in their particular part of the SW universe. But I'm just glad that I was able, in my small way, to let you see how their relationship works and how Obi-Wan is partly the man he is because of it. Just remember that I am a very, very slow writer. Much slower than most of the others on the boards. It isn't that I'm not writing the story between posts but that I have to think about them a lot before I even put word to computer screen. I tend to be quite anal about plotting and characterization and making sure that everything makes sense as well as looking at language and structure and the flow of the story. So it may be a while before the next post. I'll put you on my PM list. Thanks for stopping by! raisedbywolves – Thanks. I loved writing Tharten. She was just so deliciously evil that it was fairly easy to write her dialogue. The descriptions were a bit more difficult since I wanted it to sound very beautiful and yet disgusting at the same time. You picked one of my favorite lines in the whole post. She was poison, wrapped up in the illusion of offended virtue. I think authors are allowed to love some of their stuff and I love that line. It's so her! As for Atel, I thought the whole plunging the lightsaber into his gut would be heart-wrenching and have both Obi-Wan and my readers make exactly the wrong assumption about what she was doing. As I said above, after reading Medstar, I knew I couldn't use the Force to heal knife wounds so I had a problem when I needed to stop Qui-Gon's bleeding. And a saber will cauterize! So there you were. Yes, the Darkside colors the whole post. The evil of Tharten is like a black cloud coating everything and I thought that a conversation with Qui-Gon would be the way to go. Initially I was going to have the Council watching the whole conversation but then I realized that it was too distancing. I needed something more immediate plus I wanted people to be inside Tharten's head for once before she died. But Tharten and, in a way the Council, has driven Obi-Wan into desperate measures to save his Master. I'm not even sure that Qui-Gon would approve of Obi-Wan tainting his soul in order to save Jinn and the Order. I think that the Council would be less unhappy about it. After all they've used him for years. But you are quite right. The corruption of his soul will take a while to clear – if he has time for it. Maul and Palpy are still out there and heading for Naboo. So it's not over yet. Obi-Wan right now is numb with all the anxiety of the situation and the realization that he has been betrayed on many levels. He is lost in a way. But, knowing Obi-Wan, I think he will be able to regain himself with time, even though that seed of darkness will always be with him. Ah, Atel. People just loved to hate her or love her. Either way, they are not ambivalent about the character. I know that people didn't like her after the last post - after all, she was opposing Obi-Wan in his efforts but I'm glad that you thought she was vindicated in this post. She has a lot of healing to do as well. She did see him mentally violating Tharten before the end. Will they be able to trust each other again? Hard to say. I would think that they could never go back to the way they were. Perhaps, the broken relationship can be made better when it's reforged. Maybe. Thanks for reading! -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 4/28/06 5:14am Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	I've been meaning to catch up with this latest post for what seems like forever, but DRL has been extremely uncooperative. I finally got around to it though, and what a post! I just love your writing. Your fight scenes snap right off the page. The description, the pacing... I'm so envious. The earlier section with Sera was excellent - she's so creepy, especially with that Obi-Wan aspect... shuddering It was great that Qui-Gon didn't play her game the way she wanted him to, even while he was bleeding to death. The fight scene with Obi-Wan was amazing, and the Atel section... you definitely had me going there. The poor girl. I really wonder if she and Obi-Wan can ever recover from all this. He hasn't been fair to her, really, but I can sympathise with them both. Fantastic work as usual. Looking forward to the next post, and very much hoping that Qui-Gon will be okay...
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Ocelotl_Nesto Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 5/10/06 2:44pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	I have been a fan of this story since I found it last year. I apologize for not letting you know sooner. Please keep it up. I look forward to the Maul/Anakin confrontation
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Princess_Arulmozhi Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 5/23/06 11:04pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	I'm writing again, because I was thinking of your story all today and yesterday. There's something so very powerful about your writing, Diane - but I expect many readers have already told you all that. the angst is just so excellently done, and the characters so realistically drawn - you can just see the pall of gloom and darkness hanging over the place. Sera's death was excellently done. All blood and gore and she died exactly the way I wanted, screaming in agony. (That sounds blood-thirsty, I know, but I wanted her to pay!). But now I'm worried about the effect of it on Obi-Wan. It seems he'll have to pay the price for all of it. all that darkness...and poor Atel. how horrifying to know that you've misjudged your padawan. Please let Qui-Gon live. -----signature----- Perceptions (Xanatos/Obi/Qui/Anakin) AU:http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25276178/p1/?7 - vignette Stones (Li'l Obi/Qui) - http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/23371821/p1/ Best Author, WFFA (BtS) 05/06 Lore-Master to 7
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Knight_Dilettante Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 5/28/06 7:57pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	OMG! I'm behind again. I'm mostly speechless but I have to say a couple of things. The second I read "Hunched over his Master, Atel had already taken her saber and plunged it deep into Qui-Gon's belly." I knew you were going to break my heart. Not by killing Qui-Gon (at least not yet) but by having it be that Atel was cauterizing the wound and Obi-Wan was going to mis-interpret it. It was like watching a train wreck but being unable to do anything about it. And then when he forced his way into Tharten's mind to get the info on Sideous... Oh golly, poor Obi-Wan! Though I know that probably the Council and maybe even the Force itself would say it was worth the cost, to Obi-Wan it won't be. Poor Obi-Wan, poor Qui-Gon, poor Atel, poor almost everyone. (No sympathy for Tharten or Palpatine - sorry.) Your writing is consistantly some of the best I have ever read be it fanfic, profic, or high literature. The time you take shows through in the final product and makes every post well worth the wait. I am in awe. And now, looking to the future, I'm still worried for Qui-Gon. And I haven't forgotten that Anakin and Le'orath are in danger. KD -----signature----- An Improbable Mission (Qui/Mace) updated 10/16/05 http://doiop.com/Mission more in bio I'm so happy because I'm writing again!
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 6/3/06 2:30pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	Knight_Aragorn – I really understand about real life. It's been a huge weight on my shoulders lately. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. I work very hard on my fight scenes, mainly because I feel that they are my worst writing problem and I want them to be right. I'm glad they come across all right. As for Sera, I loved writing her. For some reason, creepy people just jump off the page at me and they seem to write themselves. Thankfully. I wanted there to be just a touch of sex in the whole Sera dealing with Obi-Wan thing. She would think that – the control freak that she was. Thanks about Atel and the fight scene with Obi-Wan. Poor guy. He's really not feeling quite well after all that. As for Atel plunging the saber into Jinn's gut, I came up with that after reading Medstar where the Force can't be used for suturing, etc. Just happy to see you here. Thanks for dropping by. Ocelotl_Nesto –It's always nice to see a new face. Don't worry about not letting me know sooner. As long as you let me know. The Maul/Anakin confrontation will be a while. I'm a very very slow writer. Just the way I am, unfortunately. Thanks. Princess_Arulmozhi – Oh, thanks for showing up again. It was lovely of you to do that. And for helping me with my plot hole problem. LOL about the angst. You know me, I gotta love the angst. For some reason, I do like writing doom and gloom. I think it is much easier to write than humor! Thanks about Sera's death. I know you wanted her to go out screaming and so she did. I put in extra gore just for you! As for the effect on Obi-Wan, it will be a while before he comes to deal with it. As for dealing with Atel, I think she'll have something to say about it. Qui-Gon will live through this little encounter at least. Knight_Dilettante – You're not behind. I'm more behind than that it would seem. LOL on the breaking of your heart. I think you know me too well if you realized that she was doing it to save Qui-Gon, not kill him. Watching a train wreck was about it. As for Obi-Wan having to deal with the forcing himself into Sera's mind to get the info, he's not too happy with himself at the moment. Poor sorry for everyone is right. LOL on Tharten, though. Thanks about the writing. I try, I really do, even when DRL keeps hitting me with things to do and places to go. Don't be worried about Qui-Gon for the moment. He's okay right now. And you are quite right to not forget that Anakin and Le'orath and Ben are in danger. Thanks for stopping by. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 6/3/06 3:00pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06 - Date Edited: 6/8/06 3:49pm (1 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
	I've been busy, just not with Betrayal. Frankly, I ran into an iceburg of a writer's block, the size of which could have defeated the Titanic. Plus I'm still battling the huge plot hole I discovered a little while ago. Unfortunately, the next post or so needs me to figure out what the plot hole resolution is… Not good. Anyway, I have been writing. If you haven't read my other stories, I've done Girl Trouble about 5 year old Obi-Wan and little Siri, Bulls-eye about a crazy teenage Luke and Jedi Scum about Palpatine and getting his claws on Anakin. I'm really, really, really sorry about the shortness of this post. I hope to get more done by now but the WB iceberg kept turning over and trying to drown me. I figured I'd better post something before I completely lose my train of thought. Sorry about the mess…. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 27 - Walking Wounded The tears did not last long. Atel's shaking hands still covered her eyes - a futile attempt at hiding, she knew, but she didn't have the strength to face Obi-Wan just yet. The stunning shock of his repudiation was as chill as the cold, wet skin beneath her fingertips. It has been minutes, hours, days since he claimed her guilty of murder. Or was it only moments ago? She wasn't sure. In the jumble of unreality that was the dank cell and Tharten's corpse and her Master's rejection, she could be certain of nothing but pain. The Force was full of it, the red-glow of agony quenched, of hopes lost in brown slime, great chunks of frozen smoke and pollution filling the usually clear currents of that great energy field. It sickened her, this dark obscenity, just as his words had sickened her with his effortless denunciation of her struggle to save Master Jinn. And yet his accusation had been delivered in such a casual way, as if he were discussing the flavors of tea or talking about the latest hovercraft specifications, not some vast black-hole condemnation of treachery and ruin. Squeezing her eyes shut tight against fingers still damp with grief, she gave out a shuddering breath and tried to center herself, to drive away the chaotic confusion and regain her balance. To act like a Jedi - as she would have under ordinary circumstances. But these were anything but ordinary. It hurt to breath. It hurt to think. It hurt to wonder what would happen when she looked into his eyes at last and saw the certainty there, that he believed her capable of trying to murder someone he loved. She knew it was foolish - she had always been taught to face her fears. But, for just a little while longer, she wanted to hide behind trembling hands, to avoid seeing the flush of hatred in his face. Just a little while longer. But the Force was reminding her of duty and honor and things yet to be done. Wiping away the last of the tears, Atel gathered her strength and looked over at her mentor. Obi-Wan was sitting there, a meter or so away, staring up at the ceiling. An unblinking glare, it was almost as if he could see through the layers of duracreet into the very sky over their heads. He didn't move. A pale statue, he seemed lifeless - except for the slight rise and fall of his chest, and the glimmer of something unbearable in his eyes. She wanted to call out to him, to remind him that she was still there, still his Padawan and that she would forgive him anything if only he would look at her with trust again. But it was a fool's wish. They had said too much, done too much and they could never go back to the way it was just a few days ago. It hurt to breathe. The stone-weight of that knowledge pressed into her chest, freezing the very blood in her heart. How had it come to this? When had they lost their connection, their trust in each other and in the Force? When had her failure to understand become his failure to see her as she was, someone trying desperately to do what she thought was right and yet still keep his respect and love? Or had he seen her as nothing more than a liability? All those years - had their life together been nothing? Trying to shake off the absurd desire to hide again, Atel realized that she was being selfish and very much a fool. He had been hurt, he was still hurt and she needed to stop this and act like the Jedi she was. To help him - even if it was for the last time. "Obi-Wan, do you need..." Her hoarse question trailed off into silence. Atel had expected him to react somehow, even if only to reprimand her insolence at the familiarity. But instead, he just sat there, silent and still, staring at the ceiling, ignoring her. She glanced up but saw nothing except one line of water stain that had spidered its way across the duracreet. Nothing to warrant such attention. Perhaps he was going insane after all. With the streaming trails of death-shadow and the crimson horror of mind torture still profaning the Force, it was almost impossible to find his Light in the twisted echoes of what had happened here. But someone needed to repair what had been damaged between them by his careless, cutting words. With his continuing silence, it looked like that someone was her. As she twisted her body to look at him more clearly, for a moment, the muscles on one side of her torso jerked abruptly, spasms of pain shooting through her. It hurt to breath and it was more than just grief tugging at her spirit. Atel felt as if a bantha had stepped on her chest, crushing her and she was left with only the memory of life. She tried to ignore the pain; it was nothing but bruises, damage from getting Force-pushed into walls - twice. The flash-memory of his hand flinging her aside like so much trash sent a quick pulse of anger slithering down her chest, adding to the burn but she shoved that emotion aside. Now was not the time. Perhaps later, she would deal with it all, when she was alone and it had finally been settled between them. Besides, Obi-Wan's injury was far greater than any of hers and he would need further medical attention soon. A couple of bacta patches, even with a strong painkiller, could not keep a lightsaber wound's problems at bay forever. Atel started again, "Do you need help to get to the Healers? Would you like me to..." "They are watching us still." Quiet, flat words but the rage in Obi-Wan's voice was undeniable. Drawing back, she glanced upward for a moment. But there was nothing there in the ceiling but a thin stain and duracreet. "Who is watching us?" "Don't you know? Can't you sense them?" The way he said it, so intensely, with such passion and anger, sent chills skittering across her flesh. When he said nothing else, just kept ignoring her, she tried again to capture his attention, "I don't sense anything. Who are you talking about?" "I told you in the turbolift." With an annoyed growl, he angled around to look at her. His eyes were hard green and full of some bleak thing that remained unspoken. The frown she saw there seemed to etch his face into white bone and fury. "Did you hear nothing of what I said? Did you think that I was merely..." He broke off and looked away, down towards his clenched hands. Even from where she sat, she could see the tension in the pull of muscles against flesh. For a moment, the grief in his voice was unbearable. He murmured quietly, half to himself, "That's right. If I remember correctly, you thought I was insane. Perhaps I was." Then glaring at her, he dove back into rage. "Crawl back to the Council, then. I wasn't lying, I wasn't insane. But you seem to find it impossible to believe anything I say." "Obi-Wan, no, I don't...." Her frantic objection went unheard. Darkness seemed to swirl around him, smears of smoke and outrage, and underneath it all, such an aching despair. With a shaking, angry voice, he spat out, "Go back to your High Council, those wisest of the wise Masters of the Jedi Order. Find just how much the rsshak slime manipulated both of us. Playing us like we were nothing but Dejarik pawns, wriggling out our lives on the barbed wire of endless missions. Deception and cruelty and bloody meat for their games. And all the while, we go where we are told and when we are told and give away everything that we are. For what, Atel, for what?" Blinking rapidly, his eyes smoky with grief, Obi-Wan abruptly curled inward. One hand splayed across his chest, the other scrubbing at his face. He looked exhausted. It seemed all the anger and adrenalin of the last few hours had finally drained away. "May they burn in hell for what they demanded of me and may I burn with them for what I have done.... " She could barely hear Obi-Wan's whisper. But she knew that this was not good. Anger was not the only way to the Dark; despair and grief and even shame could be powerful conduits as well. Atel didn't know what to say. He had always been the strong one, wise and calm, the epitome of a Master - a Jedi without weakness, someone to learn from, someone to admire, someone to follow into hell and back and remain unscathed. Until this moment. The last of her childhood had finally fallen away. Now, she would have to be the one to help him regain what he had lost. No matter that he had accused her of murder only minutes ago. No matter that he had rejected the Jedi and flung her aside. He needed her and now that they both knew the truth, she would move on. Almost too weary to get up, nevertheless, she managed to struggle to her feet, wincing as she did, and hobbled over towards Obi-Wan. Hesitating for a moment, she leaned down and brushed one tentative hand across his uninjured shoulder. She had meant only to comfort. But instead he reacted as if she had struck him, jerking out of her reach with a harsh, "Don't." "Let me help you." Blinking back surprise, she stood there for a moment, waiting for him to realize that she wasn't attacking him. Instead, he just shuddered and pulled himself into a tight knot of arms and legs. "Don't touch me. I'm not...." Waiting in vain for him to finish explaining what he was not, when it was clear that he would say nothing else, she knelt down beside him, keeping a careful distance, and urged gently, "Not what?" Obi-Wan seemed to be at the centerpoint in a riptide of dark emotions, the Force polluted with the slushy chaotic remnants of his loathing and fury and shame. She waited for him to let go of whatever demons were tormenting him but instead, he sunk deeper into self-hatred. Stonily glancing up at the ceiling for a moment, Obi-Wan's gaze slid away from her concern. "How can you be so calm after what I did to you? After I hurt you? Accused you of killing Qui-Gon when all you were doing was trying to save him?" Atel pushed back a sharp flash of remembrance: the blossoming pain as she hit the wall and slid down, Obi-Wan's accusations of murder, her own betrayal at his hands. But she shook it off. There would be time enough to deal with this after she got him to the Healers and he could come to terms with it all. "We can talk about this later, when you've recovered from your ordeal." But when he just shot her an unbelieving look, she said, "You need to let it go, Obi-Wan. You know this. You were the one who taught me, remember." Sarcastic, he spat out, "Did I teach you how to use the Force to torture someone? Rape their minds?" He glared at her, his eyes hard as durasteel. "Did you hear her screams? Such agony when I forced myself into her head, her fighting me all the way?" His one hand scoured across his face as if to remove the tainted flesh from beneath his palm. "I could feel her pain, knew, without doubt, that every nerve in her body was on fire, her heart wildly beating as she tried to break free of the torment and yet I kept... I kept doing it." He shook his head, closing his eyes against the memories, "How can I let it go when a Jedi would not... would never.... " And his words trailed off into silence once more. Knowing that he was on the brink of collapse, both physically and mentally, she took his good hand in hers and began to stroke it gently, like she would a small child whose night had been filled with terrors. He glared at her but did not pull away. "Obi-Wan, you are ill. Look at yourself, exhausted, a night of torture. The saber wound in your shoulder needs attention and you need rest." "Rest..." He shook his head, sounding so weary and unhappy that it made her heart clench in sympathy. But he did not move, only looked down to watch her fingers steadily stroking the back of his hand. She could feel the currents of the Force begin to clear. Obi-Wan was not fighting against her soft touch, and as he sat there, swaying slightly in fatigue, it was almost as if he was beginning to allow the hurt and torment of the last hours to drift away. She knew it would be a long hard climb to remove the taint from his spirit but she would make sure that it came to pass. "Yes, rest. You are only going to make yourself worse with all this. You are ill enough as it is." "Ill? I suppose I am. Sick enough. Sick of it all... the lies, the betrayal of everything I've believed in. And for what? Lies, all lies." The heat of rebellion was still there in the words but he said it with such weariness that she knew she had won this round. She wanted to cry again, absurd as it was, but she pushed away the unwanted emotion. She had to take care of Obi-Wan first and then she would have much meditation to do before she could feel free of the dark taint of this day. "Let me call the Healers. We'll get that shoulder fixed up, you can rest, and then we'll see what we can do about the mess." Obi-Wan gave a half-nod and then, closing his eyes, bowed his head in resignation. "I'm leaving the Jedi, you know." Glad that her Master could not see the heartbreak on her face, she pulled out the comlink and began to open up a channel to the Healers ward. As she looked away, out into the darkness beyond, her vision wavering in liquid grief, she hesitated for just a moment. Then, with a murmur too quiet for him to hear, she said gently, "I know." -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 11/2/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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ardavenport Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 6/3/06 5:29pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	Dianethx posted: Obi-Wan gave a half-nod and then, closing his eyes, bowed his head in resignation. "I'm leaving the Jedi, you know." Glad that her Master could not see the heartbreak on her face, she pulled out the comlink and began to open up a channel to the Healers ward. As she looked away, out into the darkness beyond, her vision wavering in liquid grief, she hesitated for just a moment. Then, with a murmur too quiet for him to hear, she said gently, "I know." Aaaaaaaah, acceptance is the first sign of recovery. Now they can move on to.....? Atel's pain was richly described with her disjointed perceptions of the Force. And poor Obi-Wan, leaving the only life he's ever known. Perhaps, when he regains his strength he will coax Atel away with him? -----signature----- Links to all fics -- http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25405090&brd=10304&start=26223917 The Heart of the Jedi -- http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26013327 ---- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, JA and everything you wanted to know about lightsabers
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Ara-gon Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 6/3/06 5:52pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **4/2/06
	I know better than to check PMs when my hungry family is demanding food, and I can't read the updates right then . . . -----signature----- Jinngerbread's Padawan The Trouble with Qui-Gon (humor) http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/26735859/p1/?7
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Musing Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 6/3/06 8:25pm Subject: RE: Betrayal (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon angst - very AU) - Updated **June 3
	Yippee! A post! On second thought, maybe I should tone down my reaction a bit, given the content. Still, it's a lovely piece of work...especially with Atel's newfound maturity. Good job, dianethex!
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