Jedi Council Forums - As I Fall Into The Flame: Vader arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant. Finally Titled!

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Author	Topic: As I Fall Into The Flame: Vader arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant. Finally Titled!
palpyisgod2 Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 11/22/05 6:02pm Subject: As I Fall Into The Flame: Vader arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant. Finally Titled! - Date Edited: 5/30/06 5:29am (2 edits total) Edited By: palpyisgod2
	Author palpyisgod2 Subject Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center, and the process of rebirth begins Keywords Medical, Vader. Characters Palpatine, Nurse Jonas, Anakin/Vader, A Healer Notes This is as yet unnamed. any takers for a good title? ‘Anakin! Anakin! There he is. He's still alive. Get a medical capsule, immediately’ In and out Pain I’m screaming – that’s all I hear, other than the sizzle of my flesh. ‘Thirty cc’s of Coxxden! Stat!’ – Who, what… a medic? “No” – My Master’s voice, coming out of the shadows ‘Excuse me? Your Excellency, don’t you see how much pain he’s in?’ ‘He is a Sith Lord, he will deal with the pain’ My Master, I can hear him. That must mean I’m alive, but barely. I’m floating in and out…and, oh, Force, so much pain, I can smell myself falling to pieces, but my Master’s here, that will mean I will be alright. Force, Coxxden would be good right now – but – no, I must remain strong, and I will become whole again. In and out. Ah! Someone’s screwing something onto my left arm, funny, I don’t remember losing it, it was my right arm I lost when Count Dooku… no, Dooku was years ago. So what happened to my arm? In and out. Can’t breathe, there’s a tube being shoved down my throat. Air, pumping into my shattered lungs. I can feel a cool touch on my scorched skin. Padmé? No, it can’t be, Padmé is – hold on, I don’t know where Padmé is. It must be the Healer, smearing – what? – On to my chest and neck ‘Prep him for a tracheostomy’ There’s a stinging in – no – on my throat, and then a pushing, and suddenly air is whistling down my entryway – but wait a minute, didn’t they just stick a tube down my throat a moment ago? ‘I told you, Nurse, the trach-cath was only temporary, until we could get his lungs re-inflated’ Ah. That explains it then In and out. Another voice ‘His immune system’s shot, we’ve got to get him to a hyperbaric chamber, otherwise he won’t last another ten minutes. And where are those thirty units of leukocytes I ordered when the call came in? Damn you Jonas, this is no time to be mixing up orders! Leukocytes, not erythrocytes, although he’s lost a lot of that too, so make it fifteen units of those, Midi-neutral, type AO pos. We’ll be here a while.' There is pressure in what remains of my ears. I know about pressure from when the storm systems came in on Tatooine and Mom told me why my ears hurt. Funny I should think about that now. Mom. She died a while ago. In and out. I want to go to sleep There’s light… And shadows… And suddenly…I can sense my Master. My instincts tell me it’s been several hours since I closed my eyes, but even though I can think somewhat clearly now, something is still wrong…but I can’t place it… My Master’s speaking, I strain to listen, but something is impinging on my hearing. There’s a click, and a whirring sound. I reach out with the force, but it seems dulled, somewhat, and I can tell my body’s not in its usual cotton robes, rather, something else. Bantha leather. New, and thick, and hard, not soft like after years of wearing and weathering. That whirring sound…it unsettles me. I look up and there’s a mask coming down from the above. My eyes widen. The mask comes down on to my face as eye-covers open and everything becomes red-tinted, and a holographic display comes up. I don’t want to wear a mask. But do I have a choice? The mask settles into place with a click, but we’re not done yet. I can sense more obstruction coming. There’s a high-pitched, whining sound, like a sonic drill. And then… Silence. And I am aware of my Master speaking. ‘Lord Vader, can you hear me?’ I struggle to reply. Yes, My Master’ There must be a Vocoder on me, because I swear I didn’t move my lips, it hurts too much. But then I remember, in the before, there was something… I operate the Vocoder once again. ‘Where is Padmé? Is she safe, is she all right?’ My voice comes out, harsh, metallic, like the grating of a chalk-stylus on a dura-slate board. My Master replies. His voice is dry, devoid of any compassion. And it is then I feel uncertainty knife through me. ‘I'm afraid she died... it seems in your anger, you killed her’ ‘I…I couldn't have! She was alive! I felt her! She was alive! It's impossible! No!’ Suddenly the room is spinning; parts of droids are flying everywhere, and machinery that keeps me alive is exploding. But I don’t care. The dark side is flowing through me, angering me, and I can feel my strength growing, and again, all I can feel is the pain in my heart. In and out. I’m dead. -----signature----- "Oh, Janette...I didn't know you could do that... I think I feel an election coming on..." -John Howard "Keating" - The Musical We Had To Have
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JediTristan Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 11/22/05 6:16pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	OOoohh, cool. Very affecting, the uncertainty and lack of punctuation add to the confusion of the scene. I liked it. As for nice constructive criticism, I would get more into the emotions a little. Definitely expand it. Excellent job! -----signature----- The Empire, she is beautiful, no? I wonder that Skywalkers always come back to despotism. It seems the only way for them to stay in control, to make sure the galaxy is run right. Everything I tell you is a lie.
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Minela Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 11/22/05 9:51pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	great post, very confusing but it does add to the whole piece. I loved the : I don’t want to wear a mask. because the mask is so iconic of Vader. The only thing I don't get is why somebody (Palps?) calles him Anakin. Shouldn't it be Darth Vader or Lord Vader? -----signature----- The Heart of Lord Vader http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/22267411/p1/?2 Do or do not, there is no try.-Yoda http://www.myspace.com/jedinela Check out my movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC9KrmNpoQg
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Healer_Leona Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 11/23/05 9:21am Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	Very interesting. A nice piece on what he may be thinking. -----signature----- Break away from everybody Break away from everthing If you can't stand the way this place is Take yourself to higher places
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Odd_Ball13 Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 11/23/05 3:00pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	I like how you had anakin's POV wile he had the operation. plus nice use of medical terms -----signature----- Member of the Chewbacca fan club Member of the Official GG Fanclub Operation Overlord: Best RPG ever. Member of Clone/Stormtrooper Fan club ~CT-0015~
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palpyisgod2 Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 11/23/05 11:01pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	Minela, thanks for reading this, i called him anakin because that;s what happens in the movie/script. it's like the final part of his humanity Healer_Leona thanks very much. I REALLY love your work. Odd_Ball13, I'm the daughter of a Doctor, and intending to become a nurse. the hyperbaric chamber is a real thing, used to helpo prematrure babies breathe, and for other things, and the Coxxden is an invention of my twisted mind. Please POST RandR's P! -----signature----- "Oh, Janette...I didn't know you could do that... I think I feel an election coming on..." -John Howard "Keating" - The Musical We Had To Have
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 11/24/05 1:44pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	The dark side is flowing through me, angering me, and I can feel my strength growing, and again, all I can feel is the pain in my heart. That was very powerful. Great job!!! -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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sithhappens6 Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 1/24/06 7:09pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	Well Done! Very powerful! -----signature----- "No loose wire jokes"
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darksideyesplease Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 1/24/06 7:28pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	Very nice expansion of the scene, I loved the doctor lingo and Palps telling them no pain meds. Good stuff and Palpy is God! -----signature----- FelsGoddess AU inspired by upcoming Clone War release http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28104890/p1/?0 Anakin, Padme, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan
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palpyisgod2 Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 4/22/06 6:22am Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	this is not a shameless plug, i just wanted to know if anyone thinks this should be archived. also, i needed to find the link. -----signature----- "Oh, Janette...I didn't know you could do that... I think I feel an election coming on..." -John Howard "Keating" - The Musical We Had To Have
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 4/22/06 8:37am Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	I do. I find it very intense and interesting -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Courtney_Solo Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 4/22/06 9:18am Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	That was very moving! Heck, they should've done a voice over with Hayden Christensen with that for ROTS, that woulda rocked! -----signature----- Might come back and write a little more. We'll see - hopefully!
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Darth_Cruel Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 5/11/06 6:27pm Subject: RE: Unnamed as yet, Anakin arrives at the Imperial Medical Center on Coruscant.
	I really like this story! And a good title might be "Death of a Knight". Whatta ya think? -----signature----- "Danger - if you meet it promptly and without flinching - you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!" --Winston Churchill
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