Jedi Council Forums - Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)

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Author	Topic: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
jedi_master_gimpy Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 4/11/07 3:07pm Subject: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig) - Date Edited: 4/12/07 9:32am (1 edits total) Edited By: jedi_master_gimpy
	Title: Relinquish Author: jedi_master_gimpy Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin Timeline: Revenge of the Sith Disclaimer: GL owns all, yadi yadi yadi... Notes: This is just a short - really short - little vig which popped into mind, albiet with a specific purpose. It's Matthew Stover-esque in style, not because I was aiming to do so but because it worked best with the disjointed, in-the-moment analysis of feelings and motivations that I was going for. More on this afterwards.... =================================== Relinquish This is how it feels to be betrayed by the person who was your brother. It rends the heart in two and leaves a gaping hole in the gut, making even the simple intake of air painful. This is how it feels to slowly awaken to that betrayal, to have been so busy denying the words of caution that you don’t hear the echoing whisper in your own heart. This is how it feels to deny a possibility while you secretly await its arrival, unbeknownst to even yourself. This is the heat of everything falling to pieces around you which blasts against your back and forces rivulets of sweat between your shoulder blades. This is the last desperate grasp at holding the galaxy together. “You have turned her against me.” “You have done that yourself.” This is how it feels to look at the face of your closest friend and see an absolute stranger. “You will not take her from me!” This is how it feels to see the warnings of your mentor become reality and lose the ability to refuse it. “Your anger and your lust for power have already done that.” This is how it feels to know the death of your brother is the solution. This is how it feels to throw off your Jedi cloak…and watch your enemy do the same. “Don’t make me kill you.” “Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic…to democracy.” This is how it feels to face someone twisted by lies. “If you’re not with me, you’re my enemy.” “Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.” This is how it feels to be confident of your position. “You will try.” This is how it feels to face off against the one you have always fought beside, and know this is no longer practice no matter how hard you pushed each other then. The match will not end with the two of your extinguishing your weapons and walking off the mats. This is being so consumed by the moment that you don’t care. This is how it feels to breathe in the tension so oppressive that the air is thick with its heat. This is how it feels to have the exhilaration of the Force pumping through your body unhindered. This is how it feels to grit blade against blade, to be bent on the destruction of another. “Don’t make me destroy you, Master. You’re no match for the Dark Side.” “I’ve heard that before, Anakin…but I never thought I’d hear it from you.” This is how it feels to be consumed by anger, so overtaken by your own emotions that it would have scared you…before. This is how it feels to have liquid hate rushing through your veins until you tremble with power as it eradicates all of your previous inhibitions. This is how it feels to push against the hot currents of air, to have a molten river of disorienting reds, oranges and blacks move below you. “I have failed you, Anakin. I was never able to teach you to think.” This is how it feels to be taunted with lies and insults. This is how it feels when you stop controlling yourself. “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!” This is how it feels to surrender yourself to your deepest fears and let them control you. This is how it feels to be a pawn but feel invincible in your anger. This is how it feels to justify it. “It’s over, Anakin. I have the high ground.” “You underestimate my power!” This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker. [Fin.] ================================================== ================================================== So, if you thought it was Obi-Wan's POV at the start then...good. I achieved my aim. I was thinking about the differences in perspective - in Anakin's eyes things were so twisted that he saw Obi-Wan as the really horrible one, so in essence they are thinking the same thing. It is only as the vig progresses that the way Anakin's emotions are twisted and dark really becomes apparent. An exploration of the balance between good and evil, I suppose... Thoughts/criticisms would be welcome. -----signature----- "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23 "carnivorous salamanders the size of whales!" Your barnacle goes to college.
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Alley_Skywalker Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 4/11/07 6:09pm Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig) - Date Edited: 4/11/07 6:09pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Alley_Skywalker
	Interesting…when you mentioned that it was in a Stover style for a reason, as I started reading I was wondering where the catch was. You did achieve your goal I suppose, at least with me, b/c I really did think at first that it was Obi-Wan’s POV. Only toward the very end it started sounding a lot like Anakin, more like Anakin then Obi-Wan. So I went back and re-read it and I started seeing how this fits Anakin so well… This is how it feels to be betrayed by the person who was your brother. Anakin did really thing that Obi-Wan had betrayed him, just as he thought Padme had. This is how it feels to slowly awaken to that betrayal, to have been so busy denying the words of caution that you don’t hear the echoing whisper in your own heart. This is how it feels to deny a possibility while you secretly await its arrival, unbeknownst to even yourself. I suppose this is alluding to Anakin’s lack of trust, how he always feared that Obi-Wan would turn against him, would choice the Order over him, which essentially did happen. This is how it feels to see the warnings of your mentor become reality and lose the ability to refuse it. Interesting, I though about that the first time, I kinda wondered why “mentor” wasn’t plural. Now, it's obvious – Palpatine. This is how it feels to know the death of your brother is the solution. Very poignant right there, great job with that! I always thought that Anakin was trying to give Obi-Wan a chance to leave, but Obi-Wan wouldn’t so Anakin felt he had no choice. Ironically with Obi-Wan activating his ‘saber first it almost puts Anakin in a self-defense situation. This is how it feels to face someone twisted by lies. And in Anakin’s perception the Jedi WERE twisted by lies. Nice insight! This is how it feels to be consumed by anger, so overtaken by your own emotions that it would have scared you…before. This is how it feels to have liquid hate rushing through your veins until you tremble with power as it eradicates all of your previous inhibitions. And this is where it started to sound more obviously like Anakin Great job w/ this! -----signature----- Knight of the Fanfic Order (trained by oqidaun) Master to CodyMonKenobi & mujapple-juicey Proud Obi/Ani shipper! Facades: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24152038/p1 Class of '09 forever!!!
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 4/11/07 9:03pm Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	Wow, Anakin was really twisted and consumed by the dark side Great Job, making this Anakin's POV -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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Healer_Leona Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 4/12/07 3:40am Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	Somehow I knew it was Anakin's POV. It was just how I see him from the movie. Great characterization there, totally self deluded that he is the wronged. -----signature----- Break away from everybody Break away from everthing If you can't stand the way this place is Take yourself to higher places
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KELIA Title: The Pretty in Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 4/12/07 10:48am Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	That was Anakin's POV? I was so sure it was Obi-Wan. I loved that it would have fit with either one. Great job on this -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 NaNaWriMo Progress: 32,105
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Hananiah Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 4/12/07 11:36am Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	Wow I really did think it was Obi Wan, but I always associate that seen with Obi wan's pain rather then Anakin because I always see Anakin consumed with anger and Obi Wan consumed with greif. It was very poweful how you put something personal with each of the quotes and made the characters really own them. -----signature----- Buffy:"Laura Ashley is definitely back" Willow: "You think?" Buffy:"She's back and this time it's personal.You see they mated her with the home depo guy and that's how we got Martha Stewart" BTVS unaired pilot
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Luminara_Kenobi Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 4/13/07 2:37am Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	For some reason, I knew it was Anakin, too. After I saw the end note and the comments, I went back and looked at it as Obi-Wan, and that is just as poignant. “Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic…to democracy.” This is how it feels to face someone twisted by lies. “If you’re not with me, you’re my enemy.” “Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.” This is how it feels to be confident of your position. “You will try.” Looking back, I noticed parts like this, where you incorporated your writing perfectly into the dialogue of RotS so it really could be either--it really exposes how similar their thought processes were even when facing off...subtle, but clever. Great job there! -----signature----- Oafie & Lulu Long Live the original JA series-- why did it go out of print?! Long Live Freedom of Speech!!! Constantly thinking of new and innovative ways to shave Obi-Wan I miss you, too.
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ratna Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 4/16/07 8:20pm Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	i've read this twice, now, thought i should de-lurk and say WELL DONE!!! -----signature----- “What we measure affects what we do. If we have the wrong metrics, we will strive for the wrong things.” Joseph E. Stiglitz
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jedi_master_gimpy Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 4/17/07 11:54am Subject: RE: Relinquish (Obi, Ani vig)
	Alley_Skywalker: Wow, thanks for the comments and for going back to re-read it to see the two different points of view. The transition of Obi-Wan->either->Anakin was precisely what I was going for to pick up how their thoughts would be similar, but then how they were different as well. The first line where it was supposed to become truly apparent that it was Anakin was "This is being so consumed by the moment that you don't care." Thank you so much for your in-depth response to parts of it...it was nice to see your thoughts reflect what I was trying to portray! earlybird-obi-wan: Yes, he was! So twisted he couldn't even see - or refused to see - that his thoughts and feelings were twisted defenses of "good morals." Thanks! Healer_Leona: You're super smart...have read too many of my fics from the old days... or both. Or just picked up the same vibes of his thoughts in the movie as I did about how absolutely self deluded he was. Expect the unexpected. Thanks for the comments. KELIA: Excellent...that was the point. Yes, it definitely would have fit either one until near the end. Thanks! Hananiah: I was rather relying on the fact that we associate the "betrayal by a brother" to grief and thus to Obi-Wan, which is why it appears to be his POV. I tried to leave the writing open in such a way that the betrayal can be read as inspiring grief in the character (for Obi), but also in just shock and feelings of betrayal (for Anakin). Anakin was hurt by the betrayal, but in my opinion at this point he was so twisted and confused that he didn't even feel the pain as a grief so much as Obi-Wan wronging him in the worst way ever. Thanks so much for your comments! Luminara_Kenobi: Well, even if it worked in retrospect, I'm glad it was still thought-provoking! You caught on perfectly to the dialogue - I inserted quotes for both of them which match the feelings/thoughts just expressed. ratna: Twice? Wow, well thanks for de-lurking to let me know - I appreciate it! -----signature----- "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23 "carnivorous salamanders the size of whales!" Your barnacle goes to college.
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