Jedi Council Forums - A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Author	Topic: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
Cael-Fenton Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 6/8/07 7:33am Subject: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?] - Date Edited: 6/11/07 4:30am (13 edits total) Edited By: Cael-Fenton
	Just a silly little idea that struck me while I was puttering about with YouTube one day. Constructive criticism is accepted, and much appreciated. Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are property of Lucasfilm. I make no monetary profit from this, nor do I intend to. With apologies to Sir Bono, and to Mr the Edge. Chapter One: In Which the Negotiator Greets the Dawn INT. CURRENT NETWORK HQ STUDIOS. DAY NEWSCASTER: Good morning, gentlebeings of the Republic, and welcome to the brand-new Current Network on Galactic HoloNews. It's a new kind of news station—now this is something we're so excited about, and we just know you are gonna be too, because you are going to be a part of it. And our programme is called V2C—that's Viewer-Created Content, which means your views, your ideas, anything and everything you feel is awesome out there, broadcasted to the entire galaxy on our network. And to start us off, we have...Jedi Padawan Commander Anakin Skywalker, giving us a glimpse into the life of his friend, General Obi-Wan Kenobi. [Cue UPBEAT MUSIC. The titles A Day in the Life of the Negotiator: A Holofilm by Anakin Skywalker appear.] INT. JEDI TEMPLE. DAY. NARRATOR VO: [Solemnly] We are down to see the Negotiator. It is a day in the life of the Negotiator. On Coruscant. Where the General is enjoying his much-deserved leave. Where the Senate and the Jedi Order are based. And where the great man…is sleeping. He is unaware that he is about to become…part of Current Network's coverage of our greatest war hero's vacation. A reluctant star…[Firmly] but a star nevertheless. [As the NARRATOR speaks, the holorecorder moves down a dimly-lit corridor. Pauses before a door. Holorecorder shifts, as though the NARRATOR has bent forward a little to have his palm scanned by the door's ID reader. The door opens, and the holorecorder moves into a small room, sparsely furnished to the point of being bare. Pauses before another door.] This would be…the Negotiator's bedroom. [This time, the NARRATOR does not bother with the ID scanner. A slim young hand appears and gestures slightly, fingers loosely bent in the dim light. The door clicks open.] Morning, General! [Holorecorder moves into a dark room. A battered, outdated holoset model flickers a well-known weekly soap opera in the corner. The holorecorder pauses, and then zooms in on the fuzzy image that the old holoset is projecting.] People of the Republic, ecce holo! Behold! Proof at last; conclusive, indisputable proof that even the best of us has a weakness for these extraordinary drama serials. [Holorecorder moves over to the window, and the same hand reaches out to raise the blinds. Coruscant's early sun streams through the open window.] GENERAL KENOBI VO: [indeterminate groaning sound] N VO: Ah. It's going to be a beautiful day in the Jedi Temple Sector. [Holorecorder pans slowy over the room, finally focusing on the sleeping figure of GENERAL KENOBI, who appears, even in the clear morning sunlight, as just a tangle of sheets and blankets, only one forearm and a hand visible.] How is thee? [Pause] Look at that arm. There is the hand that has delivered a thousand worlds. The hand that has struck fear and terror into the traitorous black hearts of the Separatists. The hand that has inspired awe and faith and hope in each and every one of us who is loyal to the Republic. The hand that grasps the lasersword of justice, the bright beacon of freedom in this darkening galaxy. K: [Another indeterminate groaning sound] N VO: Morning, General! K: Nngghhh. [Slurred] Go…away. [Pause] Come back nnngh…three hours. N VO: [Chuckles] Ever the Negotiator, huh? [Annoying singsong] You've got to get out of bed… K: [Exposed forearm reaches out and grabs a chronometre from beside the bed. GENERAL KENOBI consults the chronometre, then sets it down again.] It's kriffing half ngh six. You said last night we'd nggh going to Dex's at eleven… [The hand lifts a sheet slightly, just enough for those famously blue-green eyes, about which so much amateur poetry has been written, to look straight into the holorecorder.] Oh. Oh, not good. Oh no. N VO: [Gleefully] Oh yes, General Kenobi. You've just revealed your favourite hideout on galactic HoloNews. Good luck escaping there for muja pie now. It'll be staked out day and night by half of Coruscant's humanoid female population. K: What have I ever done to deserve this, Anakin? Why are you doing this to me? N VO: [Almost gently, but not quite] It's a day in the life of the Negotiator. You're a very busy man. [GENERAL KENOBI makes yet another indeterminate groaning sound, and pulls the blankets more securely around himself. The NARRATOR reaches out and yanks them partially off, exposing a delectably battle-scarred bare chest and upper arms. GENERAL KENOBI instantly yelps most uncharacteristically, flushing a deep brick red, and tries to recover his stolen blankets. (Un)fortunately, the NARRATOR is too strong for him to win the tug-of-war that soon ensues.] N VO: Well, well, well. A real treat for the ladies, and a startling revelation! The great Negotiator sleeps shirtless! A question for you now, General: boxers, briefs, or…commando? K: [very nearly incandescant with apoplectic fury] Get out! Now! N VO: All right, all right, keep your panties on! It was just one harmless little question! Okay, you have a minute to wash up. I'll be back soon. [Holorecorder backs out slowly. Door shuts. The holorecorder remains focused on GENERAL KENOBI's bedroom door.] That didn't go too well, huh? But don't worry. He'll come round. [Louder] Won't you, Obi-Wan? K VO: No! N VO: [Pause. Silence] Will you think about it? For me? K VO: No! N VO: Oh…Disappointing. But remember, our operation wasn't entirely fruitless. We now have solid evidence that the Negotiator watches Corellian Nights, the popular drama series starring the dashing Y'uan Micragor and the lovely Natlya Pormenn— [A small but explosive sound of rage erupts from behind the closed bedroom door.] K VO: Anakin! You follow that dreadful space opera, not me! [Image flickers off and dissolves in static, but the NARRATOR, it seems, is determined to have the last word—] N VO: Say what you like, General. Our viewers know the truth now. -----signature----- Let us remember our Burmese dead.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 6/9/07 11:58pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	It's silly but quite enjoyable. reads like a comedy -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
elenka18 Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 6/10/07 9:35am Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	Nice story. Very funny
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Amrita_Glittersong Registered: Jan '07	Date Posted: 6/10/07 9:51am Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	That was awesome. Anakin is such a little monster some times. [Holorecorder moves into a dark room. A battered, outdated holoset model flickers a well-known weekly soap opera in the corner. The holorecorder pauses, and then zooms in on the fuzzy image that the old holoset is projecting.] People of the Republic, ecce holo! Behold! Proof at last; conclusive, indisputable proof that even the best of us has a weakness for these extraordinary drama serials. Yes, it's true; it's almost impossible to resist the allure of soap operas. [Holorecorder pans slowy over the room, finally focusing on the sleeping figure of GENERAL KENOBI, who appears, even in the clear morning sunlight, as just a tangle of sheets and blankets, only one forearm and a hand visible.] How is thee? [Pause] Look at that arm. There is the hand that has delivered a thousand worlds. The hand that has struck fear and terror into the traitorous black hearts of the Separatists. The hand that has inspired awe and faith and hope in each and every one of us who is loyal to the Republic. The hand that grasps the lasersword of justice, the bright beacon of freedom in this darkening galaxy. I love Anakin's terrible attempts to sound important and official while talking about the most inane things. That was quite the ramble from him. Hehe, Obi and Ani fighting over the blankets was cute. Poooooor Obi-Wan. That didn't go too well, huh? But don't worry. He'll come round. [Louder] Won't you, Obi-Wan? K VO: No! N VO: [Pause. Silence] Will you think about it? For me? K VO: No! Nice try, Anakin. This is very amusing and cute, and I love it so far. -----signature----- Deceptions: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=26426189 My SW videos: http://youtube.com/profile?user=Glittersong "I was trying to sound pompous." "Do you really think you need to try?" -Obi-Wan Kenobi and Siri Tachi
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JediMasterJessica Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 6/10/07 11:12am Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	Awesome job, That was so cute! I really wished they had shown more of Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship in the films, but thats what fanfiction is for. If you put another part up, can you put me on the PM list? -----signature----- Proud lover of A/P, Siriwan, L/M, & TK/J Yo mamma is so stupid, she thought Jar Jar came with Pickles Pickles
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 6/10/07 1:34pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	Wonderful! Please put me on your PM list! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
obi_ew Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 6/10/07 5:00pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	The hand lifts a sheet slightly, just enough for those famously blue-green eyes, about which so much amateur poetry has been written, to look straight into the holorecorder.] Loved this! I could see Anakin getting great enjoyment out of tormenting Obi-Wan. -----signature----- In Loving Memory Of CC Price of Courage- Obi/Whie/Luke- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20124958/?37 Updated 4/20 Finally!!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Master_Noi Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 6/10/07 5:18pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	Oh. Oh, not good. Oh no. Oh, poor Obi-Wan. The horror of realizing his apprentice is armed with a holorecorder. I can totally see Anakin doing this. He's lucky his master isn't the murderous type. -----signature----- For Such a Time as This ( 01/17/09) A Shrouded Path (03/21/09)
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
ClaudiaR Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/10/07 9:11pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	very fun! I love this! I was laughing very hard at the monitor especially when he mentioned the soap opera! -----signature----- LURK&STALK It takes a specialist to do it right " Getting to stalk around importantly was quickly becoming the best part of pretending to be a Sith. " Obi-Wan in Deptions by Amrita_Glittersong
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Alley_Skywalker Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 6/21/07 1:59pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	I seriously can not stop layghing1 I can picture this so clearly and somehow this is JUST the kind of thing I see Anakin doing. I can just hear Anakin doing all this commentary in an exaggeratedly drmatic voice as he fights the laughter that is jut brimming on the edge of his control. I swear these two are SO cute! Add me to you PM list please! -----signature----- Knight of the Fanfic Order (trained by oqidaun) Master to CodyMonKenobi & mujapple-juicey Proud Obi/Ani shipper! Facades: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24152038/p1 Class of '09 forever!!!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Veloz Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 6/21/07 3:43pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	i just found this and i couldnt stop laughing! N [i]VO: Well, well, well. A real treat for the ladies, and a startling revelation! The great Negotiator sleeps shirtless! A question for you now, General: boxers, briefs, or…commando?[/i] N [i]VO: Oh…Disappointing. But remember, our operation wasn't entirely fruitless. We now have solid evidence that the Negotiator watches Corellian Nights, the popular drama series starring the dashing Y'uan Micragor and the lovely Natlya Pormenn— K VO: Anakin! You follow that dreadful space opera, not me![/i] i think Anakin is gonna be in trouble for this one This was too funny, if u continue with this, please add me to ur PM list... i'd love to see how the rest of this day goes oh, and i already vote for Part 2: A Day in the Life of the Hero With No Fear... it's only fair Obi Wan gets him back -----signature----- "Hello there!" "Remember the Force will be with you..always" - Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH "Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?"- Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
erikawr05 Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 6/21/07 10:19pm Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?]
	i really liked it,we really get the whole idea of the show you are doing a great job. cant wait to see more
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Cael-Fenton Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 6/28/07 6:34am Subject: RE: A Day (or Part Thereof) in the Life of the Negotiator [Obi-Wan, Anakin, 1/?] - Date Edited: 8/3/07 7:29am (1 edits total) Edited By: Cael-Fenton
	I am overwhelmed by this response to my very first attempt at humour—and in screenplay format too! I was half-certain everyone would be underwhelmed. I wrote this fairly quickly and I did not run it through a beta, but unfortunately, it's pretty low on my writing-priorities list right now, so I am not sure when it will be updated. All I can say at this point is that it will definitely have at least two more parts to it. earlybird-obi-wan Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it. elenka18 Thank you for your comments. Amrita_Glittersong waves Good to see you here! Anakin is such a little monster some times. Uh-uh. That would be 'most times', lady. I love Anakin's terrible attempts to sound important and official while talking about the most inane things. That was quite the ramble from him. I had great fun writing that particular bit. This is very amusing and cute, and I love it so far. Thank you so much. JediMasterJessica Thank you! I will send you a PM when I update this. VaderLVR64 Hello there! Thanks again for your help and encouragement in putting this up. I am much indebted to you. Consider yourself PM-listed. obi-ew I feel truly honoured. Thank you for your kind comments. Master_Noi Yes, holorecorders are quite frightening, aren't they, even for brave Jedi Masters. ClaudiaR Thank you. I am glad you liked it. Alley_Skywalker Thank you so much. I will send you a PM when this is updated. Veloz Thank you. I'm happy that you found it funny, and I will certainly PM you when I update. erikawr05 Thank you. Good to hear you liked it. My sincere thanks to everyone who read or commented. -----signature----- Let us remember our Burmese dead.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History