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Topic:
Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
TigerofRobare
Registered:
Jan '06
Date Posted:
8/16/07 8:19am
Subject:
Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
Title:
Darth Hipster
Summary: After Palpatine recommends medical marijuana for his health problems, Vader becomes a hippie.
Characters: Darth Vader, Palpatine, Luke, Chewbacca, Qui-gon Jinn(ghost), OC's.
Thanks to darkjedileia for providing the plot bunny: "How bout a fic where Vader leaves the Empire and becomes a hippie?"
Chapter One
It's hard to imagine something more important to a Sith Lord ruling a galaxy of innumerable beings (the last seven Imperial Census Directors had resigned in protest and he currently had teams of mathematicians searching for a number big enough to describe the population) with absolute power than exercising that power, but there was: his apprentice's health.
Not that Emperor Palpatine cared about Vader
per se
, it was just that superpowerful sith were hard to come by and he didn't want an investment of almost thirty years wasted just because Darth Vader couldn't breath well enough to fight the Rebels.
Life just isn't fair
, he mused.
That was why instead of pressuring Bevel Lemelisk into inventing new superweapons or thinking up new ways to terrorize the populace, the Galactic Emperor of the Galactic Empire of the Galaxy was reading prestigious medical journals in an effort to find treatments for Vader's condition. Imperial physicians also worked round the clock working batteries of tests.
"This is useless!" the Emperor shouted after six hours of reading. He called upon the Force and used Dark Side lightning on the pile of journals. The smell of ozone filled the air and several magazines were burnt to cinders. He got up and grabbed his crane, his legs were stiff and he needed to stretch them.
He hobbled over to the cyclopean doors that led from his Throne Room into the Imperial Palace proper. Some aesthete had placed a small mirror near the entrance. As he passed it he was suddenly reminded of fairy tales from his childhood.
Oh, well
, he thought,
just for a lark
. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, how can I help my apprentice?"
To his enormous surprise a ripple appeared in his reflection, as though the glass was actually water, and the image was replaced with that of a pale green plant with thin, ovoid, serrated leaves. "Marijuana?" Palpatine said, incredulous. "Are you sure?"
A YES appeared in the mirror.
Oh well . . .
Please Read and Review!
-----signature-----
Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie!:
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27316525&brd=10476
Tu ne cede malis--Do not give in to evil, but procede against it ever more boldly.
UMass-Amherst class of 2011!
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darkjedileia
Registered:
Jul '07
Date Posted:
8/16/07 3:56pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
Yay! I'll be sure to keep an eye on this
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JENNA
Registered:
Jun '05
Date Posted:
8/16/07 4:50pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
Marijuana? Ha ha! That's funny!
I like this. Cool idea!
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Beta-Commando
Registered:
Jul '07
Date Posted:
8/16/07 5:11pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
"Marijuana?" Palpatine said, incredulous. "Are you sure?"
A YES appeared in the mirror. Oh well . . .
A great way to turn Darth Vader into a Hippie.
I'll be watching this thread.
-----signature-----
Star Wars - The Second Saga - Episode I: In the Shadows
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27987805&brd=10475
Proud Member of the BFPBBRPFC
"Bring the Fuzzy Pink Banner Back to the Role Playing Forum!"
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Feng_Huang
Registered:
Apr '05
Date Posted:
8/17/07 1:37am
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
mighty funny.
He called upon the Force and used Dark Side lightning on the pile of journals. The smell of ozone filled the air and several magazines were burnt to cinders.
I wish I could learn that trick, it would be very useful
-----signature-----
"Then my father is truly dead. But I carry his name, and he will live inside of me for as long as I'm still here. If you want to destroy him, you'll have to destroy me with him
Daddy gave me a name, by Starr
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TigerofRobare
Registered:
Jan '06
Date Posted:
8/17/07 9:44am
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
darkjedileia: I hope you'll enjoy it. Do you want PM's?
JENNA: Wait till Vader goes to his first Dead concert . . .
Beta-Commando: Is there any other way? Do you want PMs?
Feng_Huang: Thanks. A cigarette lighter works fine.
-----signature-----
Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie!:
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27316525&brd=10476
Tu ne cede malis--Do not give in to evil, but procede against it ever more boldly.
UMass-Amherst class of 2011!
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darkjedileia
Registered:
Jul '07
Date Posted:
8/17/07 3:22pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
Yeah put me on the PM list
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Beta-Commando
Registered:
Jul '07
Date Posted:
8/17/07 3:42pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
Yes, PM Please!
-----signature-----
Star Wars - The Second Saga - Episode I: In the Shadows
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27987805&brd=10475
Proud Member of the BFPBBRPFC
"Bring the Fuzzy Pink Banner Back to the Role Playing Forum!"
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TigerofRobare
Registered:
Jan '06
Date Posted:
8/21/07 9:13pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU) UPDATE 8/21
darkjedileia: Will do.
Beta-Commando: Certainly.
Chapter Two
In the privacy of his hyperbaric meditation chamber, Darth Vader eyed the carton of joints warily. True, the smoking of them was a command from his master and emperor, but he could still remember dozens of people, starting with his mother, who warned not to smoke dope. The repeated admonishments had built up an inhibition in him.
Then the face of Obi-wan swam out of the depths of his memory with the cunning of a shark laying a trap for its prey--it just appeared. With a surge of hatred and anger Kenobi's visage vanished and so did the inhibition, like he was smoking not so much to please Palpatine as spite his dead teacher.
Vader ripped open the wrapping of one pack, jabbed the tiny cylinder into his mouth, and lit it with his lightsaber. He took a drag of the muggle and instantly collapsed into his chair with a coughing fit that he supposed would remind someone of General Grievous.
The Dark Lord soon recovered from his moment of weakness and took another drag. A small cloud of smoke now drifted around him. The active chemical in
Cannabis sativa
, tetrahydrocannabinol--THC--reached his brain at this time. The chemical was delivered to Darth Vader's brain through what was left of his circulatory system (he had done a lot of reprogramming to make sure life support didn't filter out the chemical) and in particular began to affect the cannabinoid receptors in his brain. Dopamine was released, producing the "high," while Vader's heart rate increased and he felt his mouth drying out.
Then he got the munchies . . .
-----signature-----
Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie!:
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27316525&brd=10476
Tu ne cede malis--Do not give in to evil, but procede against it ever more boldly.
UMass-Amherst class of 2011!
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Idrelle_Miocovani
Registered:
Feb '05
Date Posted:
8/21/07 9:38pm
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
Oh no... bad feeling. Very bad feeling.
Hilarious so far!
-----signature-----
Nat is my new Muse. Yes, you may have one of those flowy Greek-robe things you say you can't spell.
This Time Around:
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27062943/p1/?2
DarthIshtar's Padawan
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palpyisgod2
Registered:
Aug '05
Date Posted:
8/23/07 2:34am
Subject:
RE: Darth Hipster--Vader becomes a hippie! (Humor, major AU)
OH...me liking this! is there a PM list? put me on it!
-----signature-----
"Oh, Janette...I didn't know you could do that...
I think I feel an election coming on..."
-John Howard
"Keating" - The Musical We Had To Have
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