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Author	Topic: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
The_Face Title: Ex-Manager Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 1/17/08 9:49pm Subject: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Title: Fire Is Author: The_Face Timeframe: 5 years post-RotJ Characters: OCs – particularly Ganner Tolles Genre: Crime Keywords: OC Project, fire, villain, arson, police Summary: Ganner Tolles takes on a case that changes him forever. Notes: This fic was written as part of the “OC Project” – a collaborative workshop from the Essential Guide to OCs and Seedy Side wherein original characters were built from the ground up, and then changed into underworld villains. This part of the project shows a turning point in the life of my character Ganner Tolles. Special thanks to correllian_ale (then-leader of the OC Database) for working with me (still cap'n of the Seedy Side) on making the OC Project happen; he was really the man behind the whole idea. Without him, this story would not exist. Fire is light. It illuminates the room. It casts the shadows of the three inhabitants onto the wall. Its light glints off the barrel of the arsonist’s pistol. Detective Inspector Ganner Tolles aims his standard-issue blaster, while flashing his Eneca Civil Protection Service badge with the other hand. “ECPS! Don’t move, Brax.” His partner, a Devaronian woman named Meko Onat, follows right behind with both hands clammy on her own weapon. The arsonist, named Atticus Brax, gives the two cops a stony glare. “I don’t have to move. You came too late to stop this fire.” “But just on time to take out the slimeball who caused it,” Onat replies. Brax turns his attention to Onat. “Do they call you Omen because you have premonitions...” * * * * * * “…or because you’re the omen?” Ganner asked. Omen Onat released his hand from the introductory shake. “The latter, I’m afraid. You’re my fourth partner. The other three haven’t met good fortune.” “What do you mean?” “One was fired. Two died.” Ganner looked closer at the Devaronian’s face for signs this was a joke. There were none. “You’re gaping.” He covered his mouth. “No I’m not.” “Your mouth was hanging open. That’s gaping.” “It was open, but not gaping. It was…” “Ajar?” she finished. He put his hands up. “If that helps you.” “It may not have been hanging, but it was more than ajar.” He sighed. “Can we just forget my mouth?” She batted her neglected eyelashes. “But you have such pretty lips.” Ganner made a noise in his throat, but no words came forth. Onat laughed. “Now that is gaping. Come on, let’s introduce the rest of the force to the gullible rookie of a partner I’ve been given.” * * * * * * Fire is heat. The blaze around the criminal and two cops sucks the moisture out of the air, and warms an otherwise brisk night. Onat’s palms are sweating, but she dares not wipe them off. Ganner’s coat collar sticks to the back of his neck. Brax’s face is red. The skin of his knuckles cracks as he tightens his grip on the pistol. “I only ask because if it’s the former, it seems you should have seen this coming,” Brax says. His voice and face betray him for the dull high school chemistry teacher he is – or was until he started setting fires. “Just consider me the omen of your–” The smallest droplets of Onat’s blood evaporate in the dry air before even hitting the hangar floor. She falls hard on her side, open eyes staring in shock at Ganner’s boot. The arsonist’s shot has cut through her head and into a speeder bearing the ECPS logo. * * * * * * The ECPS logo stenciled on the front door was being touched up as Omen Onat and Ganner Tolles were briefed on their next assignment. “His name,” the chief informed them, “is Atticus Brax. An instructor of science at P.S. 119. We believe he is responsible for setting fire to two government buildings – with plans for more.” He indicated the information displayed in the hologram at his left. It showed a picture of the suspect, as well as pictures of the buildings he’d targeted – and what little was left afterwards. Omen spoke up. “This is Eruo City; I gotta ask. Do you think he plans on going for Parliament, or the Presidential Manor?” “Good question. The boys and girls over in behavioral analysis think Parliament is a far more likely target of the two, but that he won’t go for it yet. He’s working his way up as he gains experience and confidence. He’ll hit a couple more of the smaller buildings first. Of course, stopping him before he hits those will be your job. At any rate, security levels have been quietly upped at the Manor and Parliament, but the ESA is handling it. You know them; they won’t be asking us for help until absolutely necessary.” Ganner finished scrawling in his flimsi-pad. “Motive?” “His nine-year-old daughter died of a rare disease HEALS – Hyper-Extended Anti-Lysogenesis Syndrome – sixteen days before the first fire. He feels this is the government’s fault for not working harder to find a cure.” Ganner sat up suddenly, dropping his stylus. He recovered the item and his composure in quick succession. He cleared his throat. “I, ah, understand the first of the two targets was a medical research center? That seems contradictory.” “Now that he’s already lost her, he doesn’t really want us to change,” the chief said. “He just wants us to burn.” * * * * * * Fire is pain. On his way in, Ganner suffered some minor burns on his left arm from falling – fiery – debris. He can’t feel it now. At this moment, Ganner feels only the sudden loss of his best friend. The only friend he’s ever really trusted. His partner. She’s gone. * * * * * * “She’s gone.” Atticus sat back in the hard hospital chair, staring at the get-well flowers in his hand. Funeral flowers now. Atticus would have to bury his own daughter. He had never felt so powerless in his life. He couldn’t stop the virus that had raged inside her fragile body. He couldn’t save her. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. “Mr. Brax? I’m so sorry.” The doctor’s words went unheard. Atticus stood, still staring blankly – not even noticing that he had dropped the flowers. He was wearing black. The doctor wore white. Everything in the hospital was grey. The indigo flowers crunched under his black business shoes. Atticus walked away, knowing one thing. He would refuse to be powerless again. * * * * * * Fire is a verb. Omen’s reflex shot as she went down has grazed a fuel tank. Brax opens his eyes to find it has not blown up. He exhales and shifts his aim to the dead woman’s partner. Ganner fires before Brax can. The criminal takes the bolt right between the lowest ribs. He collapses. Ganner moves forward professionally, with pistol still trained on the fallen suspect. He kicks away Brax’s blaster. It slides under a boxy white shuttle. Brax looks up into the barrel of the cop’s weapon. He can see the heat rising from its tip. Looking past it, he sees the rage on Ganner’s face. That, however, is not hot. It’s cold. In this moment, Atticus is powerless. Ganner growls out two words. “Something wrong?” * * * * * * “Something wrong?” Omen asked. “Was it that noticeable?” She pursed her lips. “Mmm… yeah.” She set an ale down for herself, and water for her partner, before sliding into the cantina booth across from him. “So what is it?” He hesitated to shift his weight back and forth. “C’mon, you can talk to me. I’m your partner; I’m there for ya. Besides, I’m me – Omen Onat. You’ll be dead in a week, I’m sure, and then it won’t matter if I tell your deepest secrets.” Ganner gave that joke one short chuckle. He scratched his prominent, twice-broken nose. “It’s my father. He died of HEALS. That disease our suspect’s daughter had. I was about six when my mom left him, and took me with her. I never knew what happened to him until years later, when I found out he’d died three years after we left. Wasn’t the HEALS that made us take off, understand. He changed. He got angrier. More isolated.” He pulled Onat’s ale to him, and took a drink before she could. “My dad was Ezar Ybrosh, the mad bomber who destroyed a whole Corellian city.” He took another drink. Onat let him keep it. Ganner Tolles – born Ganner Ybrosh – spoke soft and low. “That madman let it burn.” * * * * * * Fire burns. “Y- you don’t understand,” Brax sputters on the verge of tears. He drags his unresponsive legs across the floor with trembling arms. His back hits the fuel tank and he has nowhere to go. “They have to learn.” Ganner’s sabacc face doesn’t break. “And you’re the teacher.” His voice is even and calm as the world seems to burn around them. Everything is tinged with orange and yellow. Smoke chokes the air. Ganner shakes his head. “No you’re not. You’re a coward.” He turns and starts walking away. “Please! Please d- don’t leave me here,” Brax whimpers, “like this…” Ganner keeps walking. He stops to stand by a nearby burning pile of junk. He reaches into his coat pocket, and removes a cigarette. Lighting it on the fire, he turns around again. A few meters away, his partner’s killer lays wounded in a pool of leaked fuel, the fire raging around him. “Last smoke?” he offers. The arsonist’s eyes widen in a silent scream. Ganner flicks the cigarette out of his fingers. It sails through the hot, dry air – landing at Brax’s feet. The explosion envelops the entire hangar. * * * * * * Three Years Later A man steps into the dark meeting place he and his host have agreed upon. The man wears a brown trenchcoat, brown pants, and a black shirt. Most unnerving, though, are the bandages. He is covered in white bandages. His hands, arms, legs, and face – anywhere there should be skin, there are bandages. Over his eyes are dark glasses. An unraveling strip hangs from his left wrist. “I admit, I didn’t expect you to really come.” The man speaks. “Have I ever broken an agreement? It’s… unprofessional.” “No, I expected the bomber to appear of course. Just didn’t expect it to really be you. They say you died in the fire at the Atmospheric Division three years ago.” “Maybe I did.” “Maybe so.” He sits. “What’s the job?” Ganner Tolles is dead. Fire is alive. -----signature----- "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." - E.L. Doctorow
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BrentusofGath Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 1/17/08 11:09pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response) - Date Edited: 1/17/08 11:12pm (1 edits total) Edited By: BrentusofGath
	"The latter, I'm afraid. You're my fourth partner. The other three haven't met good fortune." Just like Dirty Harry. He is covered in white bandages. His hands, arms, legs, and face - anywhere there should be skin, there are bandages. It's... the mummy![/Peter_Lorrey] Nice viggie Face-less one. Stupid Ganner, should have shot the guy again instead. Would've been more... decisive. EDIT: Ha! First! -----signature----- In time or so I'm told, I'm just another soul for sale, oh well Feel it in my bones when you break my back, break it just to watch me bend Why'd you have to go and Let it Die? -Foo Fighters http://conscienceoftheking.blogspot.com/
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Ceillean Title: Scattergories and 20 Questions Hostess Registered: Nov '01	Date Posted: 1/18/08 12:35am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Wow. You had me hooked completely through. -----signature----- I claim Kyp Durron. I'm developing this thing for Captain Kirk.
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/18/08 6:15am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Amazing work! “You’re gaping.” He covered his mouth. “No I’m not.” “Your mouth was hanging open. That’s gaping.” “It was open, but not gaping. It was…” “Ajar?” she finished. He put his hands up. “If that helps you.” “It may not have been hanging, but it was more than ajar.” He sighed. “Can we just forget my mouth?” She batted her neglected eyelashes. “But you have such pretty lips.” Ganner made a noise in his throat, but no words came forth. Onat laughed. “Now that is gaping. Come on, let’s introduce the rest of the force to the gullible rookie of a partner I’ve been given.” Loved this! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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Jedi_Eruanne Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/18/08 11:26am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Okay, I have to say: I LOVE the mouth bit!!! I love Omen! She's a hoot. Aww...that's so sad! I don't know whether to be mad at him or cry.... sniffle I need a Kleenex... YAY! I am SO glad I'm on that list! Thanks for the PM, Nathan! Your loyal, if not slightly ridiculous, reader, Dorothea. -----signature----- <><Jedi Knight For Christ><> Links to Fics in Profile---go check em out! Loyal Reader of Quiet_Mandalorian. MystralGurl's CRAZY Evil Twin (mwuhahahaha) Have you hugged your evil twin today?
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Art_Of_War Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 1/18/08 5:26pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	While you don't get much opportunity to flex your usual dialogue based strengths in this vignette, the terse pacing and the flickering flashback and present scenes more than makes up for it (along with your usual, physical descriptions that reveal as much as any intospective, stream of consciousness section would). I can't wait to see what else you do with Ganner in follow up works. -----signature----- Though legendary was his utter and pervasive lack of care, the storied Art of War set foot on the edge and became a vile tergiversator, doomed to burn in the everfires of Hypocrasatic Hell for his apostasy in daring to give a darn*. -Exeter
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Meredith_Kenobi Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/18/08 6:09pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	That was awesome! I liked the way you linked the different scenes together. Nice writing, Face. -----signature----- Proud to be ZaraValinor's Padawan Delighted to be brodiew's Master
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The_Face Title: Ex-Manager Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 1/18/08 9:41pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Thanks everybody! Brentus: Dirty Harry's great - I like his take on suicide prevention. It's... the mummy![/Peter_Lorrey] Ha! My inspiration for the perpetual burn victim look was actually H.G. Wells' Invisible Man. But mummy works. Thanks for reading. Ceillean: Thanks for reading. Vadey: Thanks! It really wouldn't be a fic by me without one of those kind of sections, I guess. Eruanne: hands Dorothea a tissue Thanks for R&Ring. Art_of_War: Thanks much for the detailed reply. I know at least one story I'm putting Ganner in, but I may have to do something to further bridge the gap between this and that project. Meredith: I worked probably a little too hard on those scene transitions. Thanks, glad you liked them. -----signature----- "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." - E.L. Doctorow
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NYCitygurl Title: Manager of SFFBC, C&G, NSWFF, and Icons Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 1/19/08 6:00am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Woah -- so cool!! I love the way you have the last line of each section be or continue the first of the next. And that "want a smoke" bit is creepy. Awesome vignette!!! -----signature----- I agree with RJ Officially Idri's Muse "Hat. We thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat."
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Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 1/19/08 11:03am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Whoa. Poor Omen! Poor Ganner! I agree, the transitions/links between sections and the tense-shifting was really cool. It really helped the current events and background information to flow together well. The different fire definitions and how they played into each part was neat too. Besides, I’m me – Omen Onat. You’ll be dead in a week, I’m sure, and then it won’t matter if I tell your deepest secrets. Heh heh, that was quite an interesting way to persuade Ganner to talk to her about his earlier reaction. I really liked that part. And the three years later section...another whoa. It seems like there's a lot contained in those relatively few words. Great story, Face! Excellent job. -Thumper -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel, Stranger Than Fiction "Adamantine"--Rebel OC vig http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/30390799 "That's 'stupid plan, sir,' Lieutenant." -Wedge
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divapilot Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 1/20/08 8:42am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Incredible. You are a master of intrigue and imagery. The way you linked the scenes was wonderful and perfect. The best use of flashback I've seen. In such a short space, you've made me care enough about Omen to be shocked at her sudden death. And the image of the light cigarette flying in that arc toward the spilled fuel... chilling. Will you remember us when you are a rich and famous writer, Face? -----signature----- Never tell me the odds. UConn: Huskies forever! RIP Jasper Howard, #6 "Focus on what matters. It's about the GAME, not each other. Dumb humans."
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talkingbanana Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 1/20/08 2:00pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Ooooh, nice job, Face! I enjoyed the interesting structure you've got going on here, going back and forth between different time periods but it all flows so smoothly because it's all the same story. If that, um, makes sense. Anyway, great job with that. I also liked the way the title plays into the fic. And I loved this: “You’re gaping.” He covered his mouth. “No I’m not.” “Your mouth was hanging open. That’s gaping.” “It was open, but not gaping. It was…” “Ajar?” she finished. That made me laugh. You're so good at OCs and at weaving in backstory and character information without spending all the time to tell us that stuff. I feel like I know these characters already, despite meeting them for the first (and maybe only? ) time in such a short piece. Keep up the great work! -----signature----- How? Myn/Lara one-shot, Betrayal, slight AU http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28175766/p1/?0 Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
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kecen Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 1/21/08 3:45pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	I'm pleased to see an OC-based fic, because the main characters in Star Wars are always the Jeedai, who are gits who don't interest me. A cop with no force powers who doesn't have to hop between planets (and use up so much fuel) is much more interesting. Plus, it's a civilian-based story, which pleases me. Teehee, Onat seemed to be very good at sensing his emotions. Was she leading him on into thinking she likes him in THAT way? The dead partners bit reminded me of the Nohgri Meewalh. But then she dies, which is rather ironic. The use of fire. I ought to note the use of theme for bettering my own stories. Ganner seems to have turned into the arsonist in the end. I do think the story could of used a bit more words, or maybe my mind is a bit blank right now. -----signature----- "Thank you for the warning, but I still see the sun," "A little Vongforming never hurt no one!" Member of the General Grievous fanclub Member of the George R. Binks fanclub, whoo! Supporting Hutt Marriage since October '06
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Jade_Pilot Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 1/21/08 5:15pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	Wow! I love your writing style, I was completely drawn in from the very first line. Bravo! -----signature----- I'm so adjective I verb noun.
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Luton_Plunder Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 1/22/08 5:06am Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response) - Date Edited: 1/22/08 5:07am (1 edits total) Edited By: Luton_Plunder
	Aha! Face, time-shifting and flashbacks based on a thematic tie is something I can very much appreciate And this was just awesome. Your transitions were seamless - the story flowed wonderfully throughout, never jarring. And even though I was listening to "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf when reading this update, the profound kind sadness of seeing a (relatively) regular guy falling so hard into seediness shone through. As far as responses to the OC project go, this was brilliant. Ganner's descent into 'bad guy' territory was very believable, which is no small feat. The HEALS backstory was a big part of that, but so was the writing style. As Thumper mentioned, saying alot without saying too much really helped too. For some reason my favourite line of the entire piece was this: “Now that he’s already lost her, he doesn’t really want us to change,” the chief said. “He just wants us to burn.” I guess just because it was the point where the entire fire motif and the thrust of the story came together for me I have an inflated sense of appreciation for things like that, heh. All in all, brilliant story Face. I'm very glad you put it up in the midst of your modly duties! -----signature----- The Essential Guide to OCs. Say No to Mary. http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25562370/p1
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Healer_Leona Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 1/22/08 1:59pm Subject: RE: Fire Is (Vignette, OC Project Response)
	I was giggling at the PM and come here to... Wow! I had to reread it and still wait a bit to be able to post a reply. I'd fallen in love with the partners from their first meeting and them Omen is killed in the next post. Talk about a sudden jar. The switchng from present to past was the smoothest I've seen in a while and the the continued use of the title was marvelous. Ganner keeps walking. He stops to stand by a nearby burning pile of junk. He reaches into his coat pocket, and removes a cigarette. Lighting it on the fire, he turns around again. A few meters away, his partner’s killer lays wounded in a pool of leaked fuel, the fire raging around him. “Last smoke?” he offers. The arsonist’s eyes widen in a silent scream. Ganner flicks the cigarette out of his fingers. It sails through the hot, dry air – landing at Brax’s feet. The explosion envelops the entire hangar. That just stopped me dead there. -----signature----- Break away from everybody Break away from everthing If you can't stand the way this place is Take yourself to higher places
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