Jedi Council Forums - "Ghost of the Machines" (post-RotJ , OC, EU)

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: "Ghost of the Machines" (post-RotJ , OC, EU) - UPDATED: 13/7
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/27/08 11:03am Subject: "Ghost of the Machines" (post-RotJ , OC, EU) - UPDATED: 13/7 - Date Edited: 7/13/08 5:25pm (18 edits total) Edited By: Arrakna
	Title: Untitled [as of yet] - Working title; "Ghost of the Machines" Author: Arrakna Timeframe: 0BBY-19ABY (roughly)[This story does begin in 0BBY, during the Saga, but, overruns into around 19ABY, and the main story is set to be based after the original saga, but I was unsure where to put it, so I put it here, if I must move it, then I shall.] Characters: Tia Organa, Rios Organa (Non-canon), Tane Jin (Non-canon), Corran Horn, more to be announced/secret. Genre: Extended Universe Keywords: Tia, Bail, Organa, Alderaan Summary: Follows a member for the Organa family though their life, which is hit with tragedy and trials early on, but when they are discovered that they have a above average Midi-Chlorian count to a average human, Jedi training seems like a plausible option, but, will they be able to convince the Jedi to undertake them, despite their rather disappointing count? And what adventures will await him? Which grand evil? Notes: My first draft to my first fanfic of any kind, Admittedly starts of quite slow, but, am intending it to get very exciting later on. I use too many commas, and I don't really know how to layout dialogue too well, I know, I'll try to fix this in the near future. PART 1 Smooth and shiny, yet dull and brown, segmented into equal sets of square perfectly lined in an absolute formation, the sound of light bubbling and the distant whispers of the atmosphere could be heard. All of a sudden a halt in the very placid moment, and tumbling down to the surface in a heap a worn and battered rag of cotton plummeted to the floor, Tia Organa broke her gaze from her day-dreaming glare and collected the rag from the floor and advanced from the center of the kitchen to move the pot from the boiling stove, before tossing the tatty garment onto the near-by counter. She rested her hand on the rounded, hard, rough corner of the kitchen-top and put her hand to her forehead, before locking into her distant gaze again and frowning to herself. As she stood at the cooker of her small, square kitchen, which had a very mild yellow-orange tone to it and a long rectangular window over-looking the other stone houses in the village, a room that she had done well to keep hygienically clean, despite the tops and cupboards overflowing and being held ajar by various cooking books and implements. Her pre-occupation with keeping her box-like, quaint, house tidy, but yet being over-run with other reading material, small physical activities and housework where perhaps just a small part of the cracks showing from her disagreement and eventual dis-attachment from her family, which had been weighing on her minds for almost 4 years. Tia had left her other 2 sisters, brother and her mother after major tension with all of her family members, she has only talked to them again a few times, most recently, being told that her brother, Bail's adopted daughter had been kidnapped by former Jedi-turned-Sith, Darth Vader and the evil Galactic Empire. She worried greatly for her son, Rios, but never regretted leaving her family to live by herself, even if she did not have much money despite her rich backgrounds, she begun to realise that her son could also be a target, should the Empire decide to trace Leia back to her home world and learn of her adopted aunt's children, also. Following this thinking, a thousand thoughts rushed into her head at once, all armed with the anxieties of her son being safe on the current planet of Alderaan, which, Ironically, she thought, was a completely peaceful planet, which would spell disaster should the empire decide that the planet was to be landed on and attacked for it's strong rebel alliance roots. Tia was not a large physical figure, only roughly 140 centimetres in height, with dry brown hair, tied into a ponytail and with a weathered face of time, but a gentle one, at that. She continued to stand almost unmoved, with one hand troublingly placed on her cheek, still as a statue wondering and pondering of her son's and her own future. She finally escaped her gaze once more, and turned from her position she had held for so long. "Rio! Your lunch is ready!" A tiny child rushed into the kitchen, grinning and hoisted himself up onto the seat of the counter and transferring the food hastily into his mouth, he looked up at his mother, who smiled at him, and patted him on the head, he grinned back, and continued to finish his meal, as Tia looked-up and her smile slowly turned into a concerned gaze, once more... As the day drew to a close and Tia sat at her son's bedside, stroking his protruding black hair. "We may have to go away again, soon, Rio." She exclaimed abruptly "But, why? We have already moved once" "This will be the last time we will move, I promise," she said smiling reassuringly. "Now, sleep, we must go into town tomorrow" "Okay" Rios exclaimed, turning-over and closing his eyes. Tia stroked her son on the head once more, before quietly getting-up and leaving for the night, with her mind still very troubled. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/28/08 11:23am Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] - Date Edited: 4/2/08 1:19pm (4 edits total) Edited By: Arrakna
	PART 2 The burning rays of the sun skipped over the rooftops and slipped between the spaces which weren’t occupied by a frantic shopper, stone home or busy market stand in the bustle of the Crevasse City market. A rather pleasant atmosphere despite the rather quick paced shuffle of the city folk, for the most part full of friendly creatures of many different races around the galaxy. In among the small crowd, Tia was slowly working her way through with Rios, taking time to look at the different stalls which surrounded them each manned by a sales person attempting to entice them into a deal. Tia took Rios' hand and led him diagonally across the field of folk and stalls and through a steel door on the opposite side of the market. The door slid open, and they entered the building, Rios' face lit up as he tilted his head up and saw an almost completely shaded, high-roofed complex, the building was incredibly cool, especially comparing to the scorching sunlight which lurked outside. Their footsteps on the stone floor where the only thing that could be heard in the silence of the interior, there where a few other folk dotted around the floor, silently sitting or pacing around, they continued along across the building where they came to a glass door, Tia stopped, as Rios stood and look up, confused, at his mother. He then saw someone approaching from the door, a man with light blue skin and very attention-drawing, big, shiny, black eyes, with orange tinted eyelids and a ponytail of numerous tentacles hanging from the back of his head, and, finally, a very large grin which gleamed from his very featureful face. "Tane!" Tia exclaimed, breaking the fill of silence which filled the building. "Hello." the man said simply, before looking down and seeing the boy. "And hello there little boy, do you know about the trip we are going on today?” he said grinning once more. "What do you mean?" Rios said with a startled look on his face, he looked up towards his mother, who let go of his hand a knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Rios, you are going to have to go with Mr. Tane Jin for a while, okay? I will join you in a while; I must go and meet with a friend." Rios bowed his head down, and nodded, his mother put her hand under his chin and pushed his head up. "You be good, okay? Tane will look after you, and I will join you soon." As Rios looked into his mother’s eyes, Tane's blue hand was placed upon his shoulder, as he looked up at his smiling face. Tia embraced Rios and then stood-up and held his hand. "I will see you soon.” she said smiling and then walked back across the large room, while Tane took his Rios' hand as he stood and watched his mother walk further away, Tia stopped at the steel door, looked back round and smiled at Rios as she activated to the door to open, exited the building before looking back and waving to Rios, who waved back, before the steel door hissed shut again in a second, their gaze was cut. Rios looked up at the strange being, who ushered him through the glass door he had come from, as a confused and slightly bewildered child, Rios, walked-out with him. The duo's walk continued down a transparent, hexagon-shaped tube, Rios, stepping with small, yet quick steps, and the considerably tall in comparison Tane Jin. Rios looked to his right, and his eyes became fixed on the beautiful site that was over-looking the planets tropical forest, with a dark green sea of vegetation as far has he could see with brightly coloured flowers and plants dotted around the scenery. Stopped in his tracks and turned to look out at the beautiful site, as a flock of large flying creatures burst out of the trees and flew to the east, as Rios watched on, fixated, with his face pressed against the transparent wall of the tunnel. Tane looked down at Rios and smiled. "Do you know what they are?" Rios looked towards Tane slowly and shook his head timidly, before looking back out at the sight. "Those are Alderaan furry moths, they look quite pretty, but, you don't want to see them when they are in their caterpillar form, ugly, crawling, things, they stay that way for years, sometimes dozens of years; longer than you have been born." Tane looked down at Rios and grabbed him under his arms and hoisted him up to seat him on the banister, as they both looked-out. "But, you know, some things take time, especially if they are worth waiting for, and, if you can wait to become something so beautiful and free, you should take the chance." Tane got lost for a moment, staring into the distance, before blinking himself out of it, and guiding Rios along. "Come, now, we must get on board the ship" they began to walk once more, to the end of the tunnel. "Wow, you have a ship?" Rios said, excitingly. "Yes, and I will be flying it to, it'll be just you and me, and then I will come back for your mother, because she has to take care of some business." Rios fell silent again, as his head dropped and the two neared the end of the tunnel and came to an open door. "Have you ever heard the legend of Kit Fisto?" Tane inquired. "No. What is that?" said a puzzled Rios. "Ha, not what, but who!? Kit Fisto was the greatest Nautolan warrior to ever live!" an ecstatic Tane Jin exclaimed. "A Nautolan, what is that?" the boy, intrigued by the new words he was hearing. "Nautolan? Well, you see, the Nautolan where a great race, but, after the Clone Wars..." The two walked further into the door and into a huge hangar, distracted by their discussion, Jin, engulfed with his stories and Rios entertained, as they prepared to leave the planet together, blissfully unaware of the chaos that loomed over the planet like a shadow of a freezing cold sun. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 3/28/08 1:29pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title]
	Hey, there... it's me, from the WNU forums. I said I'd hop on over here, so here I am. You said you use a lot of commas, and I have to agree! It makes things a little hard to read, but overall, you've got all the details needed to make a good story here. I'm interested in seeing what else you get going with this. Thanks, Trika -----signature----- My Uncle Sam sends me places... the "going OCONUS lol" is here! Current Location: Iraq Don't bother running. You won't get far enough. http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/28/08 10:45pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC)
	Thanks for the reply. I have edited the first two posts to make them seem less cluttered and more spread-out, along with re-formatting the dialogue structure, to give a new line each time a character speaks. I am working on the next part of the story now, and I have found that the more I get into it, and enjoy witting it, the less I notice it grow. The next section is around 2'600 words at the moment, and I am not even quite done with it yet. It should be up quite soon. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/29/08 12:19pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC) - Date Edited: 4/2/08 1:21pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Arrakna
	PART 3 The last of the townsfolk where scurrying away to their homes, as the last of what little sunlight they had dwindled silently away for today’s day. In the quickly darkening shades a man stood, cloaked and with his head down, looking to attract as little attention as possible. Next to a humanoid droid of some sorts, which was to do his bidding; a rare thing to see in these parts of the planet, he ushered to the droid, quietly speaking into its audio listener. As he did the man flinched, at a fluttering sound and sharply peered up to the roof of a house, as an Alderaan furry moth perched itself on the corner of the stone ceiling of a hut. The droid turned itself, clanked and marched down a narrow archway, just as it left; another figure appeared from the opposite side of the small outside enclosure, made-up of the sides of 4 stone houses. The figure was wearing typical robes; with the dust shielder hood places above their head, which they peeled off as they approached the man in the corner. “Bail.” Tia said, revealing herself from underneath the hood in the ever dimming lights of the town. “Tia… it is… good, to see you again.” Replied Bail, greeting his sister as a suppressed smile of relief tinted his face. “I am glad you came. I haven’t much time, I am leaving soon-“ “Again?! Why? Where to this time?” Bail exclaimed, with his face twisting with disbelief. “Won’t you come back home? Back to your family; your sisters, they miss you.” “ No! I - I cannot. I must leave tonight – soon. I just came here to tell you that I was leaving…” A disappointed Bail tilted his head slightly and sighed. “Where? Where to now? Why are you doing this?” “-I am doing it for my son!” She belted, followed by the sounds of traffic of the night. “Your… s-son?!” Bail whispered, as his jaw was left hanging. “Yes. Me, and my son are leaving; tonight. I do not want you to talk me out of it, or follow me. So… I shall not be telling you where we are going.” Tia fired back, barely taking a breath. “Why have you not spoken of him before? Who is the father? And why are you running away?!” “Enough questions. I am taking him because I don’t want him to end up the same as Leia!” Bail’s head dropped, as they both fell deadly silent. “I think I should leave soon.” Bail muttered, starring at the floor. “Yes. Fine.” Tia snapped, standing there with her arms folded, keeping her warm from the ever-growing cold air as the night crept closer, which Bail stood with his arms by his side, awkwardly standing in a unfamiliar surrounding in layers of fine clothing. “I will see you again” Tia added. “I promise…” Bail nodded, and edged closer to his sister, who lunged at him, to give his sister one last embrace. As their finger tips met with each other, the furry moth arched it’s back, pulled it’s wings back; preparing to flap when a blinding light cut through the sky like the beam of a sniper blaster and the sky lit from a dark blue to a bright white, which in a split-second grew to cover the entire area they where standing and until everything they could see was white. Bail and Tia reached each others arms, and the moth; just finishing bringing its wings to behind it’s body, pushed them forwards again in a move it could perform as fast as a human could blink, but, before it could make flight, it was too, engulfed by the whiteness and in a split-second, it vanished. Tane sat at the controls of his ship as Rios sat beside him, inspecting the shiny aluminium walls and counters that surrounded him, while Tane Jin sat comfortably at the helm of his pilot seat hearing the familiar whirring of his engine. The ship has just made it out of the planets atmosphere and Jin turned to Rios and said “How is it?” grinning, as per usual. “It’s great! Where are we heading” Rios shouted with great enthusiasm. “Ah, well, you see your mother wanted me to-" the ship shook, as several large objects seemed to crash into the back of the craft, Tane slipped and stumbled off his chair. He hoisted himself up quickly and leant over the cockpit controls to look out of his view screen, before slipping down to his feet again and slowly looking down at Rios; no longer smiling. “Rios, wait here, stay in your seat and don’t touch anything, okay?” “Alright.” Rios said, naively. “I’ll be right back.” Tane said, as he marched out of the cockpit with a purpose. Rios leant up and forwards on his chair and gasped as he looked out of the view screen at the sea of black mass that surrounded them, his eyes them moved to see an enormous grey ball in the distance and was stunned at this new world that he had never seen before in his lifetime. Tane sprinted down the empty corridors of his ship surrounded only my mechanical helper droids, he stopped himself at a door, hastily punching the buttons on the control pad and ran into the room instantly after it slid open. His haste soon came to halt as he looked, horrified, out of a view screen in his quarters to see hundreds upon thousands of huge pieces of rock floating and tiny splinters of stone floating through the space where they had just flown from. Tane Jin collapsed to his knees, looking-out into the abyss, his head slowly falling into the cold skin of his palms as he shrieked to himself, just as soon as his head fell his neck sharply rose again, as he cringed in a determined look, sprung to his feet, swiftly spun round and made the dash back to the cockpit. “What’s going on?” Rios said, inquisitively. “Nothing, everything is alright.” Tane said with a rushed smile, fixing his eyes on Rios’ safety strap and tapping him on the shoulder. He clipped his safety strap on as he sunk himself back into his control seat, sat back and sighed, before he forced himself into his determined look once more, placed his right hand on a lever and pushed it forwards slowly with the engine become louder the further it went. There was a roar from the engine as the ship screamed forwards and the rough shaking of the hull gradually turned into a smooth journey through the stars... -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
G__Anakin Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 3/29/08 1:17pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC)
	This story looks good! Could you please add me to the PM list? -----signature----- Master to tahiriveilax - - - My fanfic - - - Fate of the Jedi - Abyss : http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/30246540/p1/ Yeah, I used the real title for the next book. Beware Omen Spoilers.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/29/08 2:25pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC)
	G__Anakin posted: This story looks good! Could you please add me to the PM list? Thanks. I would be glad to add you to the list, but, could you tell me how? -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
G__Anakin Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 3/29/08 3:32pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC)
	Arrakna posted: G__Anakin posted: This story looks good! Could you please add me to the PM list? Thanks. I would be glad to add you to the list, but, could you tell me how? Just write my name down and remember to send me a PM (Private Message) when you update. You send a private message by clicking on my username and hiting the send message button. An example is: Hi, I've update my story! [link= http://] Title [/link] Fill in the red with the link which is the scoll box at the top of the browser thingy and the blue with the title. The you should say: Thanks for reading! If you recieved this message in error or if you wish to be removed from the PM list, plese send me a PM. In the end you get: Hi, I've update my story! "Ghost of the Machines" Thanks for reading! If you recieved this message in error or if you wish to be removed from the PM list, plese send me a PM. Some authours add more, or just give the link without any conversation. You chose whatever you like Hope I could help! Feel free to ask me if you need any help with this or anything else Good luck with your story! -----signature----- Master to tahiriveilax - - - My fanfic - - - Fate of the Jedi - Abyss : http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/30246540/p1/ Yeah, I used the real title for the next book. Beware Omen Spoilers.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/29/08 4:43pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC)
	Oh okay, I understand now. Thanks for joining the PM list! I will be sure to send you a message next time I update it. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 3/30/08 4:59pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU) - Date Edited: 3/30/08 5:00pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Arrakna
	posted: PART 3 Rios’ eyes opened to the sound of clanking as he looked up from his slumber to see Tane pushing around a control stick resulting in the craft making a loud hissing sound, followed by a dull creaking. The ship shook and Tane Jin released his hands from the controls and dropped them to his lap, looking relieved. “Ahh! Awake?” “Yeah, where are we now?” said a sleepy eyed Rios. “We’re somewhere quite different to where you’re from. It is called the Manarai Mountains.” Tane unlocked Rios’ safety strap and lifted him out of his chair, with Rios squiggling free and running towards the exit of the ship, he leaped up onto his tip-toes reaching for the control panel of the door, but was caught at the waist by Tane Jin. “Wait there, Rios, what’s the rush? “Is mom here?” Rios asked. Tane sighed and looked towards the floor. “Should we go outside now? It looks very pretty.” Tane got to his feet and the door whizzed open and a metal ramp dropped as they witnessed a bright blue horizon of mountains surround them mixing with the pleasant view of the white, cloudy skies. The two where also covered in a big bubble-like structure, which separated them from the outside world while they could still behold its beauties, the lower third of the structure being metal of some kind, and the two-thirds all the way-up to the roof was a massive transparent dome; only being able to see the things off from the gound. A man approached the pair with a warm smile on his face extending his hand to Rios “Hello there young man, what’s your name?” he said, getting down to one knee. “Rios.” he said conservatively. “Ah, is it just you and Mr. Jin here?” he said, smiling up at Tane Jin, as Jin encouraged Rios along. “Rios, why don’t you go and play by the flowers?” Tane said, as a smiling woman dressed in colourful silk and rope-like clothing came to take his hand. The man got up off his knee and turned to Tane Jin. “Wasn’t his mother to join us, also?” the man said, recollecting. “Yes.” replied Jin, with his face dropping “Something… something awful has happened…” He revealed, as he walked across to a ship supply crate and planted himself onto it. “What is it? What’s happened?” the man said, with a look of bewilderment wiping his face. “It’s Alderaan. After we left… Alderaan…” Tane head lifted up and he looked the man, directly in his eyes, as the man stared back into Jin’s deep yet reflective noir black eyes. “It’s been destroyed.” Tane said, shattering the peaceful feel of the air in the dome, like a giant bell breaking silence after being rung. The man looked at Tane Jin with a look of despair before sinking to the floor. “Why? How?!” said the man, in shock. “I don’t know, the Empire must have conjured up something unimaginably powerful… to destroy a whole planet… so quickly…” both of the men fell silent for a few moments as they stared into nothingness, contemplating what had just happened and no doubt in the back of both their minds; tentacles or not, what this may spell for the future of all those who oppose the Galactic Empire. “I will need a shelter for the boy, for him to be safe.” Tane insisted, looking deeply into the man’s face. Suspecting what had become of the boy’s mother, the man looked up and gave a simple nod, while the men prayed for the future. “Thanks Marc.” said Jin, the men connected hands and patted each other on the shoulder, the man helping Jin to his feet as they begun their walk across to Rios, who, all the while was playing with the flowerpots and small water fountains in the entry to the magnificently gorgeous air hangar dome. “We have other children here; a small nursery and even a library. If the Empire where to find out what we where doing in what is supposed to be a simple hangar bay and star ship workshop for the people of this village.” the man said reassuring Tane. “What about the Empire? Do they come snooping around?” Tane Jin asked as he suspiciously turned to face the man. “Of course, but, not in the right places” the man said confidently, breaking into a smile as he put his hand on Tane’s shoulder, both of them continuing towards Rios as he continued to play; totally unaware of the carnage which surrounded him. The man approached Rios and smiled at the flower girl who was watching over him, as she did back to him, elegantly curtsied and made for the exit. “Well young man, looks like you’ll be staying here for a while so we’ll probably be getting to know each other, my name is Marc Riidaa.” the man was quite old, short, white hair, a slender face; but a somewhat trustworthy one. He was dressed in smart, light brown garments with subtle yellow zigzag patterns travelling round the seams of his jacket. Tane Jin & Marc Riidaa got either side of Rios and guided him to the exit leaving the dome peaceful and empty; the contrasting feelings to what the inner emotions where of the adults who where now responsible for the young boy who had lost everything. The trio travelled down a flight of stairs and Rios head was bowed down, out of sheer exhaustion and confusion, was staring down at his feet looking at the stairs which where layered in small tiles ranging from lots of different shades of light blue. Rios raised his head to see the narrow, yet high-roofed ceiling of the walkway with the similar light blue colouring to it. “These will be your quarters” Marc revealed, buttoning a door open. Tane Jin and Rios stepped inside followed by Marc. “I think you’ll find yourselves very at home here” he said with a smile growing on his face and his hands behind his back. Rios stepped across the quarters and onto a stool where he could look outside a very tall, slim window at the outside scenery; it was a very steep, white-looking rock substance which continued on into the frosty mist down below to what looked like infinity. Rios turned round and dove off the stool while looking around at the room; it was light, yet dull blue colour not too bright on the eyes, yet didn’t cast the room into a shadow. Quite a small room, longer than it was wide with simple yet comfortable looking beds either side, walls behind the pillow-ends of each bed and facilities and storage behind that with only the door to follow. “I don’t mean to be a burden-" Tane was interrupted by overzealous Marc. “Not at all Mr. Tane Jin, we have known each other for quite some time and believe in the same things.” Marc said, standing-up slightly straighter as if he where proud to have the Nautolan being in his presence. “Thank you very much.” replied a thankful, yet dismissive Jin. “I was going to ask about the security measurements; what is to stop the Empire marching down here and coming into this very room?” Tane Jin enquired boldly as Marc Riidaa smirked. “Well, if you’d like to come with me I could show you just how you would be completely protected from any Imperial intrusions while you enjoy your stay here” Marc lead the two out of the room back into the corridor they just came from and to the staircase they came down. Marc stopped slowly swivelled round on one foot while having his hands casually placed behind his back, he very confidently operated a control panel on the side of the staircase and a big, flat, metal sheet slid over the top of the staircase. “With this; there are no stairs.” he said sounding even surer of himself than ever. “And if that’s not enough” he pressed yet another button on the control pad and yet another, heavier metal slab skied across the bottom of the first sheet. “Blast doors; even in the unlikely event someone should discover you are down here, it is doubtful they will able to get through.” he added, finally before resuming his hands in the position behind his back, turning towards Tane Jin and Rios and tilting his head in a fashion which seemed as if he where in the wake of a great accomplishment. Tane did not seem to even notice this air of bordering arrogance, and just reacted in a very typical manner; showing the biggest grin yet as he seemed to be very happy with where the two had landed. “Now, I am sure you two are very tired, if not occupied in another manner so if you do not mind I think I may have to retire for this evening, but do feel free to take a look around on the opposite side of these stairs where you will find the whole compound of resources untouched by the plaguing hand of the Empire.” Marc nodded at the two and smiled before walking up a small spiralling stair case opposite to Jin and Rios’ room. Tane turned to Rio and smile, and lead him back into their quarters “Wow, what a day.” a grinning Jin exclaimed. “You should get some rest; we’ll explore this place more tomorrow, right?” Jin entered the sanitary section. Rios was left, stood there for a moment-or-two and walked across to his bed, hopped-up onto it and lay down; with enough thoughts to fill the heads of a thousand children and drifted away into sleep. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
G__Anakin Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 3/31/08 4:48am Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU)
	Great job! -----signature----- Master to tahiriveilax - - - My fanfic - - - Fate of the Jedi - Abyss : http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/30246540/p1/ Yeah, I used the real title for the next book. Beware Omen Spoilers.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/1/08 11:16am Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU) - Date Edited: 4/2/08 1:24pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Arrakna
	G__Anakin posted: Great job! Thanks. PART 4 A stunning light awaited to greet Rios’ eyes as he awoke, he took a second to realise where he was and recall just what had happened to him before sitting-up, rubbing his eyes and stumble out of bed. He continued along his empty quarters and fumbled over the door and managed to reach the buttons, using a stool yet again. He looked-out into the corridor which now relatively busy with all-sorts of folk going back and forth, to and from places. After observing the people for quite some time, and as the door automatically shut behind him, he continued down the corridor. He walked past many doors and crossing walkways but decided to continue on straight as he walked in the different section of the building he was confronted by some steps leading up to an open doorway which lay at the end of the path. He cautiously climbed the steps and through the door where his vision was invaded by a vast supply of books and shelves in a large room with a pair of ladders leading up to a second floor of shelves and literature. He made his way to one of the ladders and began to climb to the higher section, he slowly made his way across to the bookshelf furthest away from him and as he did his eye was drawn to a section of the shelf, where his head turned to and he eventually walked to. He stoked the spine of a book as he got to it before gently tugging the item from it’s line in the formation, he stroked the cover of the rough surface and turned the book to face him. "Legendary Jedi" The cover red, accompanied by sketches of creatures and men alike as they wielded long, thin weapons with a beam staff of light. Amazed, Rios opened the book and flipped through the pages, a blur of black, white, grey, brown, words, drawings and sketches flew past him but was halted when a clear outline was made out in the blur, Rios stopped quickly and dug back through the pages until he found what he had flicked past. Rios’ eye’s grew large as he looked upon an image of a Nautolan; almost identical to Tane Jin, only with brownish skin, carrying one of these cylindrical weapons and with a familiar grin on his face, the caption red: "Kit Fisto; a great Jedi who fought in the Clone Wars" “That’s one of the most interesting books here” a voice called-out from behind him. Rios quickly slammed the book shut and spun round to see a rather young, thin, smiling man with brown hair in a ponytail and most noticeable; bright, pea-green coloured eyes. “Don’t be alarmed.” he said, as he reached around Rios and took the book, “the Jedi are very noble and great but especially in these days there are people who don’t seem to appreciate the art.” “Hey, there you are!” another voice carried from behind both of them, they turned to see Tane Jin’s head peeping from above the ladder “I’ve looked around for you and I was worried when you where gone, you seem to be quite the adventurous one, don’t you?” with a trademark grin appearing on his face he clambered to the top floor, while the man with the ponytail walked towards the shelf and placed the book back where it had come from. Tane came to Rios and took his hand “I’ve got good news. You are going to school, today! I was just talking to the teacher of the class, and you are just the right age to join!” Jin said extremely enthusiastically. “Come on, class starts soon.” the two of them travelled back down the ladder and down the corridor, but as they left the man with the ponytail looked round from observing his bookshelf and frowned. Tane Jin and Rios opened a door somewhere along one of the corridors which lead them into a shallow-roofed room, as they entered a dozen children turned their heads to look at them. Tane Jin’s neutral stance turned into a nervous grin, not realising until this moment how odd it would appear for the pairing of a tentacled Nautolan to be guiding a human boy into his first day at school. He released Rios’ hand and without it he was left twiddling his fingers in awkward idleness. “Come and take a seat,” the elderly, smiling teacher said. Rios sluggishly inched his way over to the group of children and took a cushion to sit on, he sat down for a few moments, turned to Tane Jin, and smiled, which Tane Jin met with what could have been his biggest smile yet. Jin continued smiling as he left the room, leaving Rios in his first day at school, he stepped out of the classroom and his smiling duet with Rios was cut by the door closing between them. Rios looked at the door for another moment more, before taking a deep breath, looking back round to the rest of his class, and smiling one more. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
G__Anakin Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 4/1/08 2:58pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU)
	Great job! How old is he? Five-ish? -----signature----- Master to tahiriveilax - - - My fanfic - - - Fate of the Jedi - Abyss : http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/30246540/p1/ Yeah, I used the real title for the next book. Beware Omen Spoilers.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/1/08 6:58pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU)
	G__Anakin posted: Great job! How old is he? Five-ish? Thanks again. At this point in the story, he is supposed to be between 2-3 years old. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Arrakna Registered: Mar '08	Date Posted: 4/4/08 9:34pm Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU) - Date Edited: 4/4/08 9:42pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Arrakna
	PART 5 Rios went to school, and continued going for days upon weeks, upon months, upon years, all the while hiding from the empire. The year is 4BBY and at 6 years old, going-on he eventually learnt the truths of the Galactic Empire, the destruction of Alderaan and his interest in the library and books; Jedi-orientated in particular where ever-growing as was his quest for knowledge and adventure… Rios approached the library and took the stairs in a single leap and scurried up the ladder. “Hey Rios, how is my number one reader doing?” the man in the ponytail shouted from across the room perched on floating platform, in the middle of sorting books on the one of the high shelves. “I’m doing good, Bestel!” shouted back Rios, swiftly making ground across the floor to the Jedi shelf, he took quickly took a book from the shelf, barely having to look twice and jogged over to a seat in the corner of the library, opened it, and started to observe the diagrams in it. “Lightsabers, huh?” a voice from above his head enquired. “Yeah. I am looking at all of the different types.” replied Rios, taking a brief moment to talk while continuing to observe the pictures. “Interesting.” the man with the ponytail added, as Rios hardly took any notice. The man suddenly peered to his left and walked away back to his bookshelf as two more boys clambered up the ladders. “Hi Rios!” one boy greeted him excitedly. “Hi.” Rios rushed as he stayed engulfed in the pages of the book, at this point, another boy approached, rather plump and with quite a dull look on his face and as he gradually got to the table, he thumped himself down “What are you reading?” the large boy said, with almost a look of disgust on his face. “I am reading about lightsabers… the weapons of Jedi!” Rios said happily. “I’m hungry, it’s time to eat, can we go now?” the plump boy said, as his head landed onto his palms and his elbows rested on the table. “In a minute.” Rios insisted, not taking his eyes of the page he was on. “All these books, it gives me a headache.” the other boy said, as he, too, rested his head on his hand. “Okay, we can go now.” Rios said, slamming the book shut, and springing out of his seat, the other two boys gladly followed, all 3 of them sprinting out of the library. The man with the ponytail stepped over to the book, picked it up, and held it in the palms of his hands for a moment, starring at it in a gaze, before snapping out of it and putting the book back on the shelf and continuing on with his shelf organising. The door of Rios’ quarters hissed open and a very calm looking Tane Jin stepped-out yawning and stretching his back. He greeted several people as he walked up the flight of stairs which he walked down upon arriving all of those years ago, he continued across the hangar bay, smiling and nodding at a flower girl along the way and to a somewhat occupied Marc Riidaa. “Hey, Marc, any news on this major push by the Rebel Alliance that I keep hearing about?” he asked followed by a lengthily yawn. “No, I’m afraid not my friend” Marc said, pointing and ordering aircraft service men around the bay, as always, with one hand behind his back. He turned to Tane, who was still shaking-off his cobwebs, “I may house people who very well maybe considered; in the minds and laws of an evil, corrupt, filth-ridden empire to be “rebels”, but I personally do not deal with these dealings myself.” Marc monologued with the words rapidly firing out of his mouth as if he had performed it hundreds of times before hand, after which, Marc carried on with his orders leaving Tane Jin starring back at him, blurry-eyed, just then, a breeze or air and sounded wailed past him as the 3 boys whizzed past him. “Hi, Mr. Jin” one of the boys shouted. “Oh, hello boys.” Tane replied lazily and walked back to the quarters area. The three boys continued racing across the hangar bay and through a set of double sliding doors and went to eat their midday meal. Meanwhile, outside the complex and tiny village area; where they had extremely limited experience of and down the steep, towering mountain, across the lands on Coruscant there was a stir in the Imperial troops, people had begun to notice Less units, less interest in the general inhabitants and a growing sense that something was not right. Rios and his friends left the food hall through the hangar again, after finishing their meal hours ago and spending the rest of their time horsing around the children's nursery and play pen, they approached the middle of the hangar, when something unexpected happened for that time of the day as there was a alternative door for people to talk through on foot it was a shock which made everybody in the bay stop, turn and stare at the main bays massive doors as they opened-up. Not being able to see what was on the other side because of the lower third of the dome being covered in a thick blast-proof wall, all the pilots, craft assistants, bystanders, Rios and his friends could do is brace themselves for whatever approached. -----signature----- My first fanfic, about a boy who escapes Alderaan in the crossover of the BBY to ABY ages http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28243953 MOVIE POSTER for the story! http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/3225/gotmposteryg4.jpg
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
G__Anakin Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 4/5/08 7:17am Subject: RE: "Ghost of the Machines" [Working title] (ANH - to - post-RotJ , OC, EU)
	I'm suspicious and worried Great job! -----signature----- Master to tahiriveilax - - - My fanfic - - - Fate of the Jedi - Abyss : http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/30246540/p1/ Yeah, I used the real title for the next book. Beware Omen Spoilers.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload