Jedi Council Forums - Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover-updated 8/2

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover-updated 8/2
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/25/01 7:08am Subject: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover-updated 8/2 - Date Edited: 8/2/01 3:21pm (3 edits total) Edited By: empress of justice
	Sorry if this has already been done. My co-author, AuroraStar and I hope you'll enjoy this. This is a crossover, so technically it doesn't have an official time period, but most of the story takes place during the original trilogy. I may throw in one or two characters from the prequel trilogy. This fanfic will contain: Vader, Palpatine, Luke, Leia, Han, the droids, and other characters. In order to have betters odds of winning the civil war, the Alliance heros must enter the World of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. However, the Empire has it's own demented plans for both Rebel and Monty Pythoner alike. The Alliance, realizing that it wiill need extra support in order to win the fight against the Empire sends Han, Leia and Luke to negotiate when the odd inhabitants of the World of Monty Python. Out from the shadows lurk Vader and his Emperor. Will the Empire crush the Rebellion and take over the World of Monty Python? Without further ado, heres the Intro. ********************************************* "Ni." "Stop saying that, you're driving me up the wall." "Isn't that impossible to drive up a wall, Master Luke? Really, you humans can be most illogical at times, I admit I fail to see just why we must converse with....forgive me, sir...I can't remember your name." "I am the King of the Knights who say...'Ni'" "Oh, how horrid. What could have possibly come over you, Master Luke. I've never expressed any unhappiness with my work." Threepio turns to the King of the Knights who say 'Ni'. "Please refrain from such language, you never know...there could be small children reading this...really, you'll frighten them out of their wits." Han turns to Leia. "It's your turn to shut him off, not mine. I did it the LAST time the professor went off on a tangent." "Han be serious, we must convince the Knights who say 'Ni' to help the Alliance. If they serve Palpatine, then the word Ni will be spread throughout the galaxy and none will be able to resist it." To everyone's chagrin, Darth Vader strode up to the group. "The Knights who say Ni" have already agreed to serve the Empire." "NOOOOOO! That's not true, that's impossible." "Search your feelings you know it to be true." "Stop, Stop!" Threepio cried. "You can't just start a story in the middle, that goes against all protocol. I insist we start at the beginning." Vader muttered quietly to himself. "What was I thinking when I built that droid?" The Narrator decides to step in to try to keep a semblence of order. "Ok, we'll start at the beginning, but don't say I didn't warn you...anything past this point is NOT my fault..." ********************************************* Questions? Comments? Empress OJ -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
jedi-thespian Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 5/25/01 11:50am Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	"knights who say 'ni'" LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! That's funny! More! Please write more soon! -----signature----- Meek is not weak... Fics on my bio... If you're born once, you die twice. If you're born twice, you die once... thespian, signing out
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Destiny_Skywalker Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 5/25/01 1:20pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Oh geez... I have a bad feeling I'm going to become addicted to this... -----signature----- "How many of you does it take to kill someone you call coward?" --Jacen Solo, BP Denied Heritage (AU) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=2818091&page=1 http://www.geocities.com/astrogrl32
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
SiriGallia Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 5/25/01 2:28pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	In the famous words of Obi-Wan Kenobi.... I've got a bad feeling about this... -----signature----- To avoid all that trouble: Qui-Gon should have listened to the Council Obi-Wan shouldn't have listened to Qui-Gon Padme shouldn't have married Anakin And Anakin should never have left Tattoine. --My Mom
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Adi_Gallia_9 Registered: Apr '01	Date Posted: 5/25/01 2:35pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Good start! As you can tell from my sig, I'm a huge Python fan and I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Promise me though that the Black Knight will make an appearance! -----signature----- http://rebelshaven.com/SWFFAQ My site dedicated to the amazing costumes of Padme and her handmaidens!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
greencat336 Title: Secretary & Treasurer Pi ttsburgh FanForce Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 5/25/01 2:59pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Oh what has the world come to when passing fanfic authors can say Ni at will to old ladies! Make sure the witch scene is included or I'll turn you into a newt! -----signature----- Star Wars Association of Pittsburgh http://www.pittsburghfanforce.com Former Master to Knight Stina-Cri Go watch our horrible fanfilm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS9NK2vHC2Y
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/28/01 11:32pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	The witch scene will be included. Sorry I abandoned this for so long. You see, at night time I put my brain in a jar <What sort of a jar?> Oh, not you again, pay no attention to that, it's only the weird thougts I get at this unholy time of night <I'm curious, what sort of a jar would one put their brain in? After all....well, in this case it wouldn't necessarily have to be a BIG jar to fit it in...> (Empress picks up a shovel and chases the dark recesses of her imagination that pester her and insult her in the wee hours of the morning) I'm logging off and going to sleep. ******************************** Empress Remember, I can not be held responsible for ANYTHING I write at this time of night, G'nigt all! -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/29/01 11:32am Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover - Date Edited: 5/29/01 11:52am (2 edits total) Edited By: empress of justice
	The Black Knight, will be in here, too. **************************** "Sit down, Sweetheart I'm engaging the hyperdrive." "We don't have time for any more hyperdrive failure." "Failure, the Falcon doesn't know failure when it comes to the hyperdrive." "RRR...rrr...rrr..." Leia rolled her eyes in a 'told you so' manner. Luke radioed them from his X-wing. "Need a hand?" "No everything's fine, why?" "Just asked because I knew that you had made modifications to the hyperdrive." "Don't insult my ship. Insult me if you want, but NOT the ship. Wait a second, that didn't come out right..." "We don't have time for this. Let's get back to business." "Where to now, Leia?" "We have to go somewhere to repair the Falcon. Somewhere were we can keep Han from adding anymore 'special modifications'." Han decided to ignore that, this time. If keeping his mouth shut would keep her in his ship instead of with the Kid, so be it. "What about that small, blue planet? I don't see a name on my scanner. Massive life form readings. No technology. The Empire will never find us there." "As long as I can unload this cargo." "What are you carrying this time?" "I'm not sure. My contact said that they're Earthling grenades." "We might as well take them, we can use them to trade for information, or something." "Wait!" Leia shouted. "According to this readout of the planet, most of the lifeforms are intelligent." Han and Luke were silent, waiting for her to make her point. "Don't you see? The Alliance desperately needs new recruits, these people may be the ones who turn the tide of this war." "Then let's get going." Luke turned his x-wing toward the planet. Han waited till the kid was in planetary orbit, then kicked up the Falcon's speed. "Race you there, kid, I decided to be nice and give you a head start." "In that case you've nailed your own coffin shut." "Sit down, Your Worshipfulness." "Why do you always get so formal when you're about to do something stupid?" *** "Lord Vader, what has happened? Why have you not contacted me as ordered?" "We planted a homing beacon on the Falcon, to their base on Yavin IV. The Death Star prepared to orbit the planet. The rebels sent out thirty of their fighters to stop us. We destroyed most of them, save a handful that were trying to send a proton torpedo down a shaft that led to the main reactor. Finally, there were only three left who were making that run. I shot and destroyed one of them and damaged another enough so it was forced to pull out. The third stayed. I sensed the Force was strong with him. I hit the R2 unit on his ship and would have hit him too. One of my wingmen were attacked by the Falcon." "The Falcon." Palpatine raised an eyebrow. Vader understood his Master's emphasis. "A different man, a different life." He wearily insisted. "Continue, Lord Vader." "My other wingman panicked, kmocking my ship out of the trench. It's a good thing he was killed; I would not have permitted him such a quick death. The rebel was successful in his mission, and the Death Star exploded." "I felt it." the Emperor remarked. That was an understatment, Vader knew, was their anything his Dark Master did not know? He doubted it. "I spun, trying to control my ship, and hailed a Star Destroyer that was 2 systems away. They just recently picked me up, my Master. I grave your forgiveness for being unable to contact you before." "I shall overlook it....this time." The Emperor passed his hand over his servant, and disappeared. ******************************************* There you go, Hoped you liked. Notice that Vader gave the Emperor very little information of the pilot who destroyed the Death Star? Empress -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
greencat336 Title: Secretary & Treasurer Pi ttsburgh FanForce Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 5/29/01 3:35pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	So that's where the holy hand grenade came from -----signature----- Star Wars Association of Pittsburgh http://www.pittsburghfanforce.com Former Master to Knight Stina-Cri Go watch our horrible fanfilm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS9NK2vHC2Y
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/30/01 8:36am Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Hmmm. We'll see. Empress -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/31/01 9:29am Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Writing the next part (drat. That means I have to watch the beginning of MP all over again. Oh well... ) Empress -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/31/01 3:18pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Here you go: *************** Luke saw the Falcon closing in on him. He pushed his engines to beat the falcon, yet the larger ship's illegal modifications gave it an edge of speed. Luke knew that the only way for a sure when was to stay directly in front of the Falcon's trajectory. Gunning his engines, Luke prayed that he would be in the planet's atmosphere soon, where the planet's gravity would give him an edge. Flying past he saw a sign in the clouds: Earth The Middle Ages circa 900 A.D. England straight ahead "Huh?" Seeing that Luke had slowed, Han pulled up on the throttle, flying over the young Jedi. "Kid, what the heck did you think you were doing!!!" "That is the strangest space sign I've ever seen. "Yeah...I don't get it, I bought those grenades from Earth, and believe me, it was not 900 A.D." Leia walked over to the cargo hold and picked up one of the grenades. "Don't these look a little large to be grenades?" "Well, you never know with those crazy Earthlings..." "Han, this is not a grenade. I don't know what it is, but I know what a grenade looks and feels like, and this is not it!!!" Both heard a 'whoosh' sound and turned around to see Luke climb down into the ship. "When I didn't hear you two over the comm, I figured I'd better investigate. I anchored my X-Wing to the Falcon." Leia nodded and turned back to Han. "I don't know what kind of a place this is, but I feel it would be wise to see what is down there, what if they have spaceflight capabilities? For the sake of the Alliance, we must explore the planet." "'For the sake of the Alliance'" Han mocked "'For the sake of the Alliance. Have you ever tried to find out what would be best for me...no...it's always 'I must serve the Rebellion as mindlessly as a droid'" "I do not 'serve as mindlessly as a droid, Captain Solo." Han walked up to the Falcon and programmed its descent about 500 meters from a castle, the biggest one that showed up on the radar. "So it's back to 'Captain', is it? Well 'Princess' You're about this close to paying for your rides in the Falcon." "Why don't you ever think of anything but yourse..." "Easy, Easy," Luke interjected. He didn't often enter one of Han and Leia's famous quarrels, but he falt the need to now. "If we're going to explore the planet. We need to leave now and ask the owner of that Castle for hospitality for the night." Leia consented and helped Luke packing supplies. Han just couldn't let the quarrel go. "Just when I had her in the crushing grip of reason." Luke smacked himself on the forehead. Leia's eyes narrowed, yet remarkably she chose not to answer in kind. Finally, the three travelers exited the ship, Luke, Han, and Leia carrying a fraction of the mysterious cargo. Luke experimently cut one open with his knife. He banged the halves together. "Is it just me, or does this noise sound familiar?" Artoo began whistling. "Don't worry, Artoo, I'll hit the release and let you out. We'll need scanners for this planet." Luke turned to Han. "Where's Threepio?" "Do you think I'd be foolish enough to let 'the Professor' out in the cockpit with me and Leia?" Luke shook his head and walked into the back part of the Falcon. He found Threepio in a small storage closet. "Oh thank goodness you found me, Master Luke. Master Han insisted that I recharge my voice synthesizers; and of course I can't say a word during the process." "C'mon Threepio, I have no idea what language Earthlings speak, so we may need you to translate." "Oh, I'd be delighted to be of any assistance, Master Luke." "Let's go." Luke replied simply as he herded the golden droid out the Falcon. The door shut behind them. Luke noticed that Han had already helped Artoo down. Han walked over to Luke. "I'd love to blast the person that created that droid." Luke chuckled. "Be careful what you wish for, Han, it might just come true." "Huh? Kid do you know something I don't, cause if you do, you better tell me..." "No, Han, I don't know who created Threepio. That's just something Aunt Beru used to say when I was a kid." The rebels walked forward to the castle. Luke kept banging the two halves of Han's "grenade". Suddenly they heard a voice from the castle. "Halt. State your name and business." "I'm Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight." Luke heard a voice laugh, and whisper, "Not yet, not yet. hemhemhem" "What do you think you are doing banging two coconuts together, you look like an idiot!" "Can't argue with th--" Han stopped as Leia elbowed him in the stomach. Hard. "C'mon, Leia, it was just a joke." Han argued feebly. ******************************************* I have ambivalent feelings about posting this, but tell me what you think: good bad, so and so's out of character... Empress -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 6/1/01 2:38pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Aurora Star's turn. Empress -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
AuroraStar Registered: Apr '01	Date Posted: 6/1/01 4:59pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover - Date Edited: 6/4/01 5:26pm (6 edits total) Edited By: AuroraStar
	Hi everybody! I just wanted to let everyone know that I am complete newbie (taunt me if you like ) to this board and fan fic. I've read lots, but I've never really wrote any. Any comments or suggestions would be peachy. ****************** After the exchange the person from the castle just disappears. Everyone exchanges confused looks and then there was short silence. When a minute had passed Luke turned to Han and Leia and remarked sacastically,"Maybe it was something you said?" Han in mock anger goes,"Hrrumph!" and faces another direction. Leia opens her mouth to make a retort when they hear. "'Allo!" bellows an armor-clad person at the top of the castle's rampart,"This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard." Han pokes Luke in the arm and whispers,"What kind of lousy accent is that?" "Shhhhh!" Leia sounds impatiently. Han shruggs his shoulders innocently as Luke begins to speak. "We are travelers, looking for shelter for the night. Do you think your master would allow the three of us to board here ... just for the night?" Luke asked in a loud, but sincere-sounding voice. The soldier begins to get more agitated,"Of course not! You are English types!" "What?" Leia voices into the air. "How does that make us different from you?" Luke asked. "Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous accent!" the soldier stated in an excited manner. Han smiles and shakes his head,"That explains it." He has heard of the French before, in his various dealings with Earthers. People always seemed to find the mere mention of the French amusing. Now he saw why. He didn't see Leia glaring at him, again. Luke gives it one last shot, "Are you sure there is no possiblity that your master will let us stay for the night?" The soldier looks to be pondering something and muttering something unintelligeble under his breath. Before anyone could question this, he said in a suspicious tone,"Weel, Yoou'er not looking for the Hoooly Grrail are yhou?" Luke glances at Leia and Han before saying,"No, sir, we're not. I've never even heard of the Holy Grail." "Lieers!" the soldier yelled,"Lieerrs, aull of yoou!" "But we have no---,"Luke started. "Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!" the soldier accused. "How dare he insult us that way," Leia ranted,"At least I think he insulted us." In desperation, Luke inquired,"Is there anyone else up there that we can talk to?" "No!! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!" the soldier sneered. "This guy is weird," Han said,"Maybe I can try to reason with him. I can work a little of my famed charm" Han winks coyly at Leia and she instantly rolls her eyes in disgust. Then, three other soldiers appear and the first odd soldier bellows,"Fetchez la vache." "qua?" one of the other soldiers questions. "Fetchez la vache!" Suddenly, a cow goes flying through the air and over the rampart. It makes various 'mooing' noises and just barely misses the alliance party as it crashes. "Why are they throwing animals at us?!" Leia exclaims. Luke turns to her and says,"I don---" Just as quickly as the last one, a honking goose plummets in their directions. "Hey, this one is for your mother!" the soldier replies,"And this one's for your gran!" He throws another goose at the three. "I think we should get out of here before this gets any more bizarre," Han suggests warily. "I can't believe it but I actually agree with you, Solo" Leia states. The two of them look at Luke. "I guess we can find somewhere more sane to stay. Let's go," Luke says. Han and Leia follow, bickering about which route to take. The three of them start down the hill and enter into a thick forest. -----signature----- "There are only two infinite things: the universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
empress of justice Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 6/1/01 5:13pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	ROTFLOL. I loved it. Empress -----signature----- Agent # 30 of K.E.E.P. Agent # 0 of K.D.R.L.P. Join K.D.R.L.P. (the Kill Darth Real Life Project) http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4901617&page=1 Adopter of Kun2112 The Real Empress of the Fortress
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Keisha Registered: Apr '00	Date Posted: 6/1/01 5:17pm Subject: RE: Monty Python & Holy Grail/Star Wars Crossover
	Hello, Empress, it's me. Do you still have a strong desire to smack me for lurking for so long? Just found this, and I love it. KP -----signature----- I, Keisha, solemnly swear that I was sane at one point of my life. That was before I fell out of a shopping cart, headfirst. Agent # 34 of K.E.E.P Agent # 1 of K.D.R.L.P.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload