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Author	Topic: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 8/4/04 11:14am Subject: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	The Jedi were the enemy. Maura didn't really know what an enemy was supposed to do or why the Jedi were called that, but Mami and Pai said it often enough that she knew it to be truth. The Jedi had hurt them a lot and if she knew about a Jedi, she had to tell someone so the Jedi couldn't hurt anyone else. In her Fives class, they'd learned earlier what to do if a stranger tried to talk to you. Strangers could be mean people who wanted to take you away from Mami and Pai, who wanted to do mean things to you. You were supposed to yell NO! really loud and run away to find a grown-up. So far, she hadn't ever had to do that, since she was at Fives all day, then Mami liked to take her out with her on her "to-dos." Sometimes, they were boring, like when she had to go to the bank or talk to Great-Aunt Raia. Sometimes, they were very exciting, like when Mami had to have her hair done and Itzel at the front desk would do Maura's hair in braids with red ribbons to match her school uniform. But no to-do was so exciting that it was better than a trip to Blumfruit's. Mami and Pai often had to take her to fancy places to eat, where she had to be on her best behavior and remember to keep her napkin on her lap and not slurp her soup. Pai was one of the Governor's counselors, so they made her be on her best behavior a lot. But at Blumfruit's, everyone cared that she was a good girl whether she slurped her soup or not. Her favorite was Liset, the lady that looked as though her hair had come out of the story of the farmer's daughter weaving gold from straw. She was always ready with a fizzy kikuju, Maura's favorite, and a joke. Liset always wore a mint-green dress and big earrings so that she made music whenever she moved. She always wore the same necklace, with a shiny rainbow stone in the middle. She hadn't been there very long, only since the winter, and whenever someone asked her where she was from, she'd wink and say "The Far, Far Away Sector." And if they asked her how long she'd been here on Chandrila, she'd sigh and say, "Not long enough yet. I intend to stay for a long while, if you'll let me." The older ones would laugh and say she could stay as long as she wanted if she still brought such good mavi pie. Maura could only go to Blumfruit's if she were a good girl that day, so today, she sat very quietly as Mami's to-dos passed. She didn't run around and play with the dresses in the store, she didn't ask for a sweet from the grumpy man at the bank, and she was very helpful when they went to the grocery store. Mami had thanked her for being her good girl and Maura had hoped, then noticed Mami's hands were turning the steering yoke towards the left instead of right to get home. "Oh, no!" Mami exclaimed. "When you're a good girl, the Blumfruit magnet turns on and it won't go away." Maura giggled, drawing her knees up to her chest. "The blumfruit magnet has kikuju sauce all over it," she reminded. "Of course, and fudge on top," Mami lamented. "Oh, this is terrible. We'll have to go and ask them to turn it off." And they did so, walking very bossily into Blumfruit's and demanding to know if Liset would fix the problem. "Only if you tell me," she said very seriously, "what you call a bantha that gets whatever it wants." "Spoiled milk," Mami laughed. "Right you are," Liset crowed. "For my very smart friends, then I'll have to see if this problem can be solved." She returned with two fizzy kikujus and a very sad expression. "I'm sorry," she said, doing that noise Mami always made when something didn't go her way or she found a big red stain on her new dress, "but it's a very serious problem. It will take a fizzy kikuju, two grilled mada sandwiches, and..." She shivered, like she was very cold or very scared, maybe both. "Two scoops of chocolate ice with tchak-nuts, fudge, and a blumfruit on top." Mami made a scared noise, but made her back straight as a measurerstick. "Is that all that's to be done?" "I'm afraid so," Liset agreed. "Then, it'll have to be done," Mami told Maura. "We'd better listen to Liset." Maura wanted to laugh at them for being so silly, but she wasn't sure if they were being silly, so she just grinned and asked if the grilled mada sandwich could have the crusts cut off to fix the problem. The mada had just arrived when Pai called and Mami had to leave so she could hear him, so Liset was asked to keep Maura company. "Why do you always have two strings in your hair?" "Braids," Liset corrected, tugging at them one at a time. "I have two best friends, Ara and Yrin, that I can't play with anymore, so I wear one braid for each of them." "Why can't you play with them?" Maura demanded. "Because mean people don't like us," she whispered. "They think we're the bad guys, so we have to go away from each other." "Is that why you left the Far, Far Away Sector?" Liset nodded. "But I think I'll get to see them again soon," she soothed her friend. "I can just hope." "Can I have a string for you, since you're my best friend?" Liset looked very sad for a moment. No, that wasn't right. She always looked sad if you saw her eyes, but this time, she turned away and sounded like she had the sniffles. "Don't be sad," Maura pleaded. "I didn't mean to..." "No, I'm not sad," Liset lied. "I just haven't had anyone want to be my best friend in a long time." "But you always need one!" Maura shouted, quietly getting shushed by everyone except Liset. "If you let me be yours, I'll make sure you're always mine." When she turned back, she was smiling again, but her eyes were still red and she still had the sniffles. "I think I'd like that." Mami returned ten minutes later when the mada was finished and Maura was working on the chocolate ice while Liset worked on her hair. "What's this?" "It's my best friend braid," Maura stated. "Liset has one for each of hers and she's giving me one for her." "Mmm," Mami mumbled against Maura's hair as she kissed her head quickly. "I need one of those for Pai and Cheery." "Cheery's our fish," Maura said helpfully. "I think Mami likes her better than me." "Hey!" Mami laughed. "I don't take Cheery to Blumfruit's." "Because she's too wet," Maura whispered. Mami didn't get mad, just gave her a big hug and fish-kissed her quickly before eating her own mada sandwich in four bites. If Pai were here, he'd have told her to chew with her mouth closed and eat like a lady, not a bantha. "We have to hurry," she explained. "Pai will be home soon and he doesn't understand the Blumfruit magnet." *** The next time, the magnet brought them coming in from the cold for a hot chocolate when the snow was starting to fall. Liset put an extra scoop of cream in her best friend's after showing her a third braid she'd put in her hair for Maura. "You're on Ara's side, because you remind me of her," she said. "What's she like?" "You both have hair as dark as ink," Liset said, "and a grin bigger than a Hutt. And you're both very funny. And I miss you very much when I don't see you, like her." The next time that Pai called, Maura asked where Ara was now and how much it would cost to see her. And this time, Liset couldn't say she wasn't sad. She was crying too hard to say that. "Remember I said some mean people don't like us?" she whispered. "They want to hurt us?" "Yep," Maura whispered back, terrified of what she would say. "They found Ara," she said, "and they hurt her. They hurt her a lot and she died. I can't see her again and I don't know if I'll ever see Yrin, either." Maura liked to talk a lot, knew that you could always make people happy if you talked right, but now she couldn't talk. She wanted to cry, but she gave Liset a big hug instead. "A lot of my friends got hurt," Liset finished so quietly that Maura almost couldn't hear her. "But they won't hurt you?" "I don't know," she told the truth. "They've hurt me a lot already." "But why?" Liset's hand went to Maura's braid, tugged it gently. "Do you know what a Jedi is?" "An enemy," Maura hissed automatically. Liset looked more hurt than before, but she shook her head. "An enemy is a bad guy. Do you think I'm a bad guy?" "No, you're my best friend," Maura corrected her impatiently. "But I'm a Jedi," Liset said in her ear. "Everyone wants to hurt us because someone told them we're the bad guys. We have to hide until they stop wanting to hurt us and we can't see our friends. I was like your Mami. I had three little girls and a boy that I loved a lot, and their Pai that I loved even more, but they got hurt like my best friend Ara." "But that's..." She wanted to say mean, but it wasn't a bad enough word and she didn't know any others. "It's mean, it's very mean," Liset repeated, "but I can't help them." Maura stared at her hot chocolate and suddenly wasn't thirsty anymore. "I want to help." "That's why you're my best friend," Liset said finally. "You help me because when I talk to you, when you tell me I'm your best friend, I feel like I have my girls back." Mami returned then, laughing at them being something called "co-conspirators," and said they needed to go. "Quiet, aren't we?" Mami teased once they were in the speeder again. Maura didn't answer, was too sad to think about talking. "What did Liset say to you?" "She said why she was sad," Maura told her, "and it made me really sad." "I can see that," Mami murmured. "Why is she sad?" "Because she used to be a Mami," Maura mumbled. "She can't be a Mami or have friends now because the bad people want to hurt her. She said she likes me because she feels like a Mami again when I come to see her." Mami's hands were very white now, the way they got when she grabbed something really tight and she sounded like she had the sniffles, too. "Why do they want to hurt her?" "They think she's the enemy." They nearly crunched another speeder because Mami was so scared. She pulled off the road and turned off the speeder. "Did she say she's a Jedi?" she asked, her voice very high. Maura nodded. "She says they aren't the bad guys." "She lied," Mami said angrily. "She doesn't lie," Maura yelled. "Not to you, maybe," Mami said, head turning to look out the window. "But she's not bad!" "No, honey, she's very bad," she said in her mean voice, then, to herself, "What are we supposed to do?" She was sent to her room as soon as they got home with a plate from dinner and Mami saying she couldn't come out until they'd finished talking. Pai came home a very short time later and there was lots of yelling. She put her pillow over her ear, but she still couldn't stop herself from hearing. "You drag her all over Porttown every day, mixing with stars-knows-who, and you didn't think this would happen? Of course she'd have a Jedi for a best friend. She's been wearing that blasted braid like she was one of their apprentices for two weeks now." There was the stomping noise Mami made when she was angry, but wanted to walk somewhere, even if it was just back and forth in front of the window. "Of course," she yelled, "but I don't know what to do now. She thinks they aren't the enemy, thinks they're something other than the monsters we know them to be." "Children don't understand danger, only who seems to be nice," Pai explained. "We need to tell ChanSec. We won't get hurt for it, they'll probably commend us for doing our duty as a citizen, but Maura can't see this Liset again." "If we tell ChanSec, I don't think that will be a problem." Maura didn't know what they meant, but she understood Pai's last words well enough. And so, for the second time that day, she cried for her friend Liset. *** Pai went to talk to his friends that night and two days later, the friends came to tell him that Liset wouldn't bother them anymore. Mami took out the best friend braid and told Maura that she had been a very good girl to tell Mami about her friend Liset. She didn't feel like a good girl at all, but she knew better than to argue. They only went to Blumfruit's one more time before Maura said she wouldn't go if her friend weren't there. Mami spent the entire time on the commlink and Maura cried as she ate her grilled mada sandwich, not quite knowing why. And when Mami had turned away, the new girl put an envelope in the pocket of Maura's pinafore and walked away. It was Liset's necklace, a gift from Ara and Yrin to Liset's last best friend. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Arin_Atona Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 8/4/04 11:30am Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Ouch. Beautiful, but sad. -----signature----- On the Shoulders of Giants http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=23575110 From the Empire, With Love http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=26258118
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JediNemesis Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 8/4/04 11:36am Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	That was very sad. Maura was very real, in fact all the OCs were. Very good writing. -----signature----- BeTS Best Author '08 Spindrift - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/28478326 NEW Lightning and Diamonds - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29251762 NEW Into The Shining Day - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29224914
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Lilith Demodae Registered: Oct '99	Date Posted: 8/4/04 11:37am Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	You were right, very sad. I love the child's prespective and her innocent view of the world. You kept it so simple, and yet detail rich. I loved it. -----signature----- This post is brought to you by: Vetinari / Vimes '08 Scorpion pits and Justice for all Once a Talon, Always a Talon!
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isola Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 8/4/04 11:38am Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Oh! Sniffles. That was gorgeous and so bad! Poor Liset - doomed by her friend and her need for friends. And Mami was so nice to her daughter and so mean to Liset. I think this is my favorite purge challenge so far. -----signature----- Please see bio for fics.
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Gina Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 8/4/04 11:53am Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Oh, this was so sad. You really brought the characters to life. I could really feel Liset's pain at being alone and having to keep such a secret and Maura's pain and her confusion - knowing the beautiful person her friend truly was versus the monster those around her assumed her friend to be. -----signature----- A long time ago in a house far away, there was a mother who was strong in the ways of the Force. She "forced" her sons to clean their room, she "forced" her sons to behave. - Part of a story written by my 9 yr. old sons I found while cleaning their desks
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 8/4/04 12:52pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge - Date Edited: 8/4/04 4:54pm (1 edits total) Edited By: DarthIshtar
	Arin_Atona--Ouch indeed. JediNemesis--It helped that Liset was a twist of another story I did, called Though Deepening Trials. In that story, eleven Jedi are taken in by the people of Chandrila, given new identities and a new lifestyle. Liset is the codename for Ana Llyr, who is one of my favorite OCs and strongly resembles the Jedi who goes "HIYA!" when striking down at her foe in AOTC. Yrin is her husband, Ara is the Padawan who was one of the first to be killed in the Purges. Lilith Demodae--I was constantly saying "This is getting ridiculous. I don't know if I'm writing a five-year-old right!" I tried to capture the innocence. The title applied to both Maura and Liset. Maura was innocent of betrayal, but proven guilty of delivering her friend into enemy hands because she wanted to help. And Liset, the innocent one who had done nothing wrong, was murdered for being guilty of the Force. isola--Thanks so much! The contrast of Mami is supposed to be that she treated all people as basically good until she was told not to by her loyalties. She never would have suspected Liset. Gina--That's the killer, isn't it, the perception vs. reality thing. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Layren Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 8/4/04 1:05pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Awwww that was so sad! The little girl didn't mean to betray her friend -- very well done! You did a wonderful job writing the children -----signature----- Proud Master to Ara-gon The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's) Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge I am Jinngerbread.
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 8/4/04 1:13pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Thanks, Layren! -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 8/4/04 7:39pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	That was beautifully written [b]Ish[b]. You had such a good handle on the child you've now left me in tears. -----signature----- Any way youll never know The many ways I've tried
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Mjsullivan Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 8/4/04 7:49pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	It was Liset's necklace, a gift from Ara and Yrin to Liset's last best friend. Oh my goodness... Well done, DarthIshtar - officially the first one of the challenge responses to make me cry! I connected so well with your OC's. Well done! -----signature----- Working in Darkness - On Hiatus :::::: http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/15283754/p1
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 8/5/04 5:59pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Thanks. I had such a hard time with the child perspective taht I really appreciate hearing taht. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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trfcrugby Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 8/5/04 8:08pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Intersting angle, from teh child's perspective. I enjoyed this one. All of the purge stories are so different, it's great reading. -----signature----- Jedi Betrayed - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16400159/?11 A Husband's Secret - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16607650/?0 A Father's Eyes - http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=16619325&replies=0 Sleep My Son - NEW!
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Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 8/10/04 8:40am Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Oh that was sooo sad! Poor kid... kids always get caught in the middle of things regardless whether it's propaganda/politics/arguments they are the ones that end up suffering. Great work!! -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist. See stories/viggies in bio
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 8/20/04 3:43pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Upping. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Laura_Anu Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 8/20/04 9:57pm Subject: RE: INNOCENT PROVEN GUILTY--Purges challenge
	Oh, poor Maura! The poor kid!! and poor Liset!!! I don't think I'll be able to read very many Purges fics because they're so sad, so I think I'll stop here while I'm feeling good and sorry for Maura and Liset. -----signature----- "It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it." - Brooks Johnson Currently taking time off from the boards while I get all of my school/track stuff in order
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