Jedi Council Forums - A New Weapon (a Luke poem)

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » The Saga »

The 2009 Saga Awards are in progress! See this thread for details.

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/6/05 9:07pm Subject: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Thanks for clicking. Title: A New Weapon Summary: Do poems have summaries? A/N: Thanks and fault go to LianaMara for this one. She told me to write a poem, I said that would be too hard for poor, un-poem-educated me, and she said, "Do it free verse!" And thus, here we are. Thanks for being persistent and then looking it over for me, Liana. Feedback is, as always and ever and for eternity, appreciated. He'd forgotten how quiet it could be at night. When he stood inside walls, the wind had always been a thing of sound. Here the chill was silent, the wind serenely moving the desert, the vastness not marred by the shattering, abrupt moments of violence and survival. He closed his eyes, the chill wind moving around him, himself a break to the unseen pattern. The slashes of memory became real once again, the choking, horrific smell suddenly vivid once again. He opened his eyes to the starlight, turning his gaze upward in hopes of peace, where before there had been dreams. He refused to dream now, the pieces of hope being rearranged into nightmares. Those were dark, undeniable, but he could no more change them than the pattern of the winds slowly shaping the desert. He, too, would be shaped. As elegance? The shadow of a more civilized time. Or something hard and jagged, forceful and powerful, overwhelming and alone. That path was before him in a yawning crevice, the footholds becoming less and less. Neither had he wished. He danced away on the fractured path, more graceful now than he had ever been. All would be, in due time. Now there was friendship, and a rescue to be planned. Love to be played out as action. The dreams were nothing, there was no mist on Tatooine. The stars were mere representations, idols once held high. True power was quiet and slow, the sand shifting a whole world. Forgiveness was quiet. Love was forgiveness. In the walls where once the wind had been loud, that had been unspoken, yet acted. And remembered, now. A new weapon had been forged. -----signature----- atty is the bestest! MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JediMindTrick000 Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 1/6/05 9:19pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Awesome. AS a fellow poet-on-occasion, it pleases me to be the first to reply. Your structure was magnificent, and the poem flowed unbelievably well. It was not choppy one bit, and the meaning within the poem itself was moving and powerful. Two thumbs up from your friendly neighborhood JMT. -----signature----- World Builder Society - New Challenge 2/26! http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/22112407/ My latest attempt at literary excellence... Delusions of Grandeur - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28113194/
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Gabri_Jade Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 1/6/05 9:26pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Lovely, dear. I know naught of poems, but this one is very pretty and evocative, and flows nicely. Good job, oba. Thanks for pushing her, Liana. -----signature----- Evil Twin of LadyPadme This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. - Bob Dylan Serendipity (Leia-Mara vig) - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/30178069 !!11!1eleventy
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Gina Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 1/6/05 9:35pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem) - Date Edited: 1/6/05 9:35pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Gina
	Oh, this was beautiful, obaona. -----signature----- A long time ago in a house far away, there was a mother who was strong in the ways of the Force. She "forced" her sons to clean their room, she "forced" her sons to behave. - Part of a story written by my 9 yr. old sons I found while cleaning their desks
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Laine_Snowtrekker Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 1/6/05 9:49pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Great poem. I could feel the emotion in the poem. -----signature----- Stealth and subtlety work well, but for making lasting impressions, a blaster does just fine. -Han Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book. -Cam Palso's #1 Fan JO: RS1, Admiral, SC Fanfics are linked to in my bio
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedikma Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/7/05 5:44am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	I'm not too well versed in poetry, either, but this was lovely. You did a good job for someone who doesn't know much about poetry. -----signature----- Twice in a Lifetime 7/31 http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16813029 A Quiet Afternoon http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23305946 follow up vig to: A New Order http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/17525231
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Leia Registered: Aug '98	Date Posted: 1/7/05 10:28am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	What I love about poetry is the ability to be lyrical without the necessity of making sense. It's okay to leave your readers confused. In this case, though, I'd say it's not that you confuse the reader, but rather that you overwhelm her (yeah, that'd be me) with so many cool lines that she has to read it a time or two to fully appreciate it. Yay for poetry. -----signature----- Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. (Roald Dahl)
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/7/05 11:43am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	That was beautiful! I've always loved poetry, and find rainy days to be the perfect time to curl up with a good book of poetry to lift the gloom and lighten the heart (or to help me wallow in it if it is that kind of day). Lovely! -----signature----- The Night Shift http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/30112305 Legal, Schmegal http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28454351 Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 629 soldiers waiting for someone to care
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 1/7/05 3:25pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Wow, loved this, Obaona. Beautiful flow of words and feeling - you can really feel that late-night quiet around Luke. True power was quiet and slow, the sand shifting a whole world. Forgiveness was quiet. Love was forgiveness. Again, wow...just incredible. I love the way you use words in your writing. Excellent job! -----signature----- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Pieces of Air (ESB short story, complete) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27283200/p1
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/8/05 1:41am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	JediMindTrick000: Wow, thanks! I'm glad you think it flowed smoothly, and liked the meaning. That was one of the hardest parts, figuring out what I wanted to say. Gabri_Jade: Thank you. I spent a lot of time on it (compared to how much I would spend on a viggie, anyway). I'm glad you liked! Gina: Thank you. Laine_Snowtrekker: Thank you. I think that's important, in a poem like this. Jedikma: I read and reread and reread Liana's poems before writing this. Thank you! Leia: giggles The thing that I love about poetry is it's ability to say so much with so little. To be able to create a mood and a feeling within just a few lines. With this, I suppose my intent was to overwhelm you - I wanted it to be short but convey a lot. Thank you! VaderLVR64: Thank you. I certainly like to read poems sometimes - Liana's constantly, of course. I'd recommend checking hers out. Thanks again. Knight_Aragorn: Thank you. The interesting thing about this is that after writing it, I thought more about which words I used in my writing. Poetry makes you careful about what you say - good writing exercise, in that sense. Thanks again! -----signature----- atty is the bestest! MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
jade_saber8000 Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 1/10/05 2:55pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	thats deep dude. wish i could write poetry like that. ~Gabby -----signature----- “No. Don’t you know? I’m a Jedi Knight who has sworn to protect damsels in distress and young farmboys…” -Han in "Ghost from the PAst"(by jedi-lelila) Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
LianaMara Registered: Oct '00	Date Posted: 1/10/05 6:54pm Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Marvelous, Mum. I'm very glad I prodded you. I think the greatest beauty of it is that you can express with a few lines what would take paragraphs - even a whole story - to explain in normal prose. The end, in particular, sticks with me even after the quadrillenth read-through; you worded everything so clearly, and so truly, that it really resounds with the reader. And if you're ever open to writing another poem - go for the Obi ANH one. Because my brain really wants that. Gabri- But don't forget . . . you're next! -----signature----- "For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." --T.S. Eliot Leilaé, handmaiden of the Crest \|\| petit Jedi enfant of obaona \|\| Lani & Lali's blonde triplet
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/12/05 2:30am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	jade_saber8000: Thanks. Liana: I am too, honestly. It was really different doing this, and I enjoyed it. That's the thing I've admired about poetry, when I've seen it done - something said said so concisely, so beautifully. That's what I was going for here. I'm really glad you see that in it. Thank you, petit enfant. I'm open to writing another poem, we'll see if I get the bunny for it. Thank you, again. Oh! And I got a PM entitled 'ACK!' from Gabri after she saw your reply here. -----signature----- atty is the bestest! MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DreamOfKenobi Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 1/12/05 6:37am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	That was really beautiful and quite touching. -----signature----- Counting the days 'til Episode III "What happens in the cave stays in the cave." "You're going to be the death of me..." We are the Vaders and we plan to take over the galaxy!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/13/05 2:38am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	DreamOfKenobi: Thank you. -----signature----- atty is the bestest! MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
lvk1978 Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 1/16/05 12:10am Subject: RE: A New Weapon (a Luke poem)
	Thank goodness I keep stumbling into your work. He danced away on the fractured path, more graceful now than he had ever been. That's some mighty powerful imagery ya got there, m'am. Right purty, too! And about Luke, too -- my mostest favorite character (right behind my Practically Perfect Jedi®, of course)! You know what? Silly as it seems, you remind me of that funny Sonic commercial -- "Call up the jeweler 'cause I just made another gem!" And you have...Brava! -----signature----- “Kenobi was luminous, a transparent being, a window onto a sunlit meadow of the Force.” "This is Obi-Wan Kenobi: He is modest, centered, and always kind. He is the ultimate Jedi. And he is proud to be Anakin Skywalker's best friend."
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » The Saga »

The 2009 Saga Awards are in progress! See this thread for details.