Jedi Council Forums - He Will Cry (future tense vignette

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Author	Topic: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/22/05 1:01pm Subject: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Thanks for clicking. Title: He Will Cry Summary: She will tell her of all these things ... A/N: I said I'd write something happy next. I lied. Quite some time ago, I saw the Future Tense Challenge (must find link), and wanted to do something for it - but couldn't think of anything until last night, ironically breaking a spell of Writer's Block. And I'm not sure what, but I'm sure Gabri's to blame for something here. Feedback is always appreciated. He will cry. As a toddler, he will learn to run – and run fast, too fast, falling and scraping his knee. He’ll cry, but his aunt will pick him up, murmuring reassurances, telling him he’s a brave boy. He’ll sniffle, and hold it in, because he is a brave boy. He will tell his uncle that he hates him because he won’t tell him about his father, and then run into his room and cry. He’ll cry for the father he doesn’t know, for telling the closest thing to a father he has that he hates him. He’ll stop, eventually, come out and apologize. And for a moment, his aunt will smile – because this young blond-haired boy they’ve taken in has taken both their hearts, and because she wishes nothing more than for the two of them to have this closeness. He’ll take the teasing at school in stride, glaring and muttering under his breath. He won’t protest when his best friend, Biggs, quietly takes the teasers out for a talk, and they come back cowed. He won’t tell his friend when they tease him anyway, out of Bigg’s sight. They’ll tease him about being an orphan, and not wanted by his own aunt and uncle. They will tease him about wanting to be a great pilot. He will hold in the tears until he goes home, because he knows that there, he can cry. He’ll cry without shame over the bodies of his aunt and uncle. They will come hot and fast, the showing of his great pain. Yes, he will feel pain. He will cry for what he’s lost and never realized he had. He’ll cry because if he hadn’t gotten that one droid, they would be alive. And he will cry ... because now he can leave, and never look back. After the celebration, completely sloshed due to his new friend’s influence, he will cry for the dead. He’ll do it alone, and think about how little he really knows – because he didn’t know that adventure would be like that. He’ll tell himself, firmly, that he’ll cry for his friends, when they die. But he will not cry until then. He’ll cry when his father tells him who he is. He won’t at first, dry-eyed and shocked, and then it will come in great wracking sobs, and he’ll wonder if he’s crying over his best friend, his father, or his lost innocence. He’ll cry in rage and betrayal. But he’ll pick up and move on. He will cry when his father dies looking into his eyes. He’ll know that he’s the only one grieving, and he’ll give those tears gladly. When he loses himself to the Dark, he’ll cry in remorse. He’ll cry when his students die. When he is left alone again, he will cry. When he marries, he will not cry, except for one tear, which he reserves solely for her; because she will see his weakness, and still see him. On what he knows could be her deathbed, he will cry. He’ll think of all the tears he’s shed, all of the tears that will come. He will think of the meaning of his crying, and wonder if it is punishment, that he weeps so. He will cry when his son is born. He’ll cry when he dies. As his son will shed tears, he will shed his own. But it will be the rarest of tears, mixed joy and pain. He will know his time has come. He will die, and then he will know no more tears. You will cry, child, when I tell you this. You will cry, dear mother, for your son. My words will torment you and reassure you. You will wonder who I am, some strange woman in the market telling you this of the child you carry. But you will think of my words, and when you die, you will think of your son, and know that he will be all right. You will think of your husband, of the paths he will take, to cause your son to cry. I will tell you not to fear; I will not fear. For when I tell your dark husband of these things, he too will cry. And all will be as it will be. [finis] -----signature----- MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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Pallas-Athena Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 3/22/05 1:11pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Aw. How very bittersweet Future is such an interesting tense to work in. I've never tried it myself, but, dispite the fact that it describes something that hasn't yet happened, it seems much more vivid in a way than just the simple past. And great fic in general, Luke's whole life tied together by one emotion. I said I'd write something happy next. -----signature----- Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures?
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EmilieDarklighter Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 3/22/05 2:19pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Wow, oba. So very beautiful...and I can't help but wonder who that woman in the marketplace was. Lovely job, dearest! -----signature----- Master of Jedi_Emeritus Former Padawan of Gabri_Jade Little sister to Gabri_Jade and LadyPadme 25 Rules for Successful Writing http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28400222/p1/?2
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LianaMara Registered: Oct '00	Date Posted: 3/22/05 3:04pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Lovely, oba. I like how you used the words of that unknown woman to tie together both the common thread of Luke and Padmé's lives. And I'd never thought before of how large a role crying played in Luke's character, both as a child and as an adult. The future tense gives fics a different sound and feeling, methinks. Every word you used seemed emphasized, and everything just seemed more . . . important, in a way. (can't explain it). -----signature----- "For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business." --T.S. Eliot Leilaé, handmaiden of the Crest \|\| petit Jedi enfant of obaona \|\| Lani & Lali's blonde triplet
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 3/22/05 3:04pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	I can't picture padme using the word sloshed, but that's the only thing I disliked about this. Great use of the future tense. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Alethia Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 3/22/05 3:30pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Nice. I really liked this. And it is quite bittersweet... Future Tense is such an interesting tense and it really works well for this fic. Wonderful job. -----signature----- Jen, High Scholar and Ponderer of all Things Verily Blue, and Official caller of Suz, Crusader of Heretics and Knight of the Blue 1000 Now sacrificing Movie Garfield
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Pallas-Athena Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 3/22/05 3:47pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	I can't picture padme using the word sloshed, but that's the only thing I disliked about this. I didn't think it was Padme. -----signature----- Do you ever get bored and find yourself scrolling down a thread just to read the signatures?
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obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/22/05 4:14pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé) - Date Edited: 3/22/05 4:15pm (1 edits total) Edited By: obaona
	Pallas-Athena: It was a bit of a challenge, keeping it all in future tense, but I agree, it does have an interesting effect. For me, when I was writing it, I kept thinking of how 'he will', depending on the context, can mean 'he wills to do something'. You know what I mean? I actually started thinking about all the times Luke must have cried, and then I started on the future tense. Thanks, dearest. EmilieDarklighter: Thank you. Who was the woman? Who knows. Some random person that Padme stumbles upon, and Vader does as well, some years later. LianaMara: I hadn't either, until last night - that's what I kept thinking about. What does Luke look like when he cries? How often has he cried? I just got to wondering. Then I started thinking of future tense. I know what you mean about emphasized. I wasn't expecting that, but it's interesting, no? Thanks, darling. DarthIshtar: Thanks. Atty is right, however, it's not Padme speaking - she says 'the child you carry' and refers to herself as 'I'. It's not in second person. Eh, as for word choice - for some reason I didn't want to say 'drunk', don't ask me why. Alethia: Thanks. Sometimes things just work together, I suppose. Pallas-Athena: That's right. The fic is in first person, it's just that in most of it, the character is speaking to someone else. But the character still refers to herself as 'I' and Padme as 'you'. -----signature----- MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 3/22/05 4:30pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Ah, I kinda got confused. -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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StarFighter5 Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 3/23/05 1:49pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Beautiful. There are no other words for it. -----signature----- "I hope I slept with you to get the job. if not, then who the hell was that guy?" - Carrie Fisher "Now that I'm a pez and a lego, I shall want for nothing else." -Jeremy Bulloch "Thank you for going to the movies. Especially mine." - George Lucas
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MistiWhitesun Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 3/23/05 2:06pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	…I thought I read this in BytS. Guess I remembered wrongly. Nice job! Keep writing! -----signature----- Fade to Black (Vader finds Scout) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25847641/p1 "I should've known it would come to this."
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obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/23/05 6:33pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	DarthIshtar: It happens. StarFighter5: Thanks. MistiWhitesun: I didn't post this anywhere else. And thanks. -----signature----- MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic: http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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JediMindTrick000 Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 3/23/05 6:38pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Holy crap, that's good stuff. Kinda eery and foreboding, but anyone who's read anything of mine knows that's right up my alley. Great read! -----signature----- World Builder Society - New Challenge 2/26! http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/22112407/ My latest attempt at literary excellence... Delusions of Grandeur - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28113194/
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LizBennet Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 3/23/05 8:29pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	He will cry when his father dies looking into his eyes. He’ll know that he’s the only one grieving, and he’ll give those tears gladly. Poor Luke; a very sad but sweet thought that is. You will think of your husband, of the paths he will take, to cause your son to cry. It's hard to imagine how Padme would have felt at those words, loving both her son and her husband so much. But a lovely vignette Obaona, I love how you handled the future tense. Me thinks this is the first time I've commented on one of your fanfics. Sorry for the lurking... -----signature----- "When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmm?" Yoda I laugh in the face of danger! ...Then I hide until it goes away.
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bobilll Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 3/24/05 5:47pm Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	Wow, so mysterious! I love how it builds on the assumption that it's all about Luke, and then end with a woman in a market talking to Padme... so deep! And the last line, totally drives everything into the future feel! This is really, really creative! -----signature----- You'll have to buy him a sweater.
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PadawanEmily Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 3/25/05 4:17am Subject: RE: He Will Cry (future tense vignette - Luke, Padmé)
	That was extremly beautiful. I loved it -----signature----- "...you were made to go out and get her...."
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