Jedi Council Forums - Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large

Jedi Council Forums » JC Community » Your Jedi Council Community

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

« 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 » - Previous | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/1/04 3:10pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Ok, time for a little advice for this poor girl. Thanks Jango, for holding down the fort here...and Lenore, you know the rule- if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. [angelic] Anyway: Nirvana "I haven´t even talked to any guys." Has he asked you to not talk to other guys? Because this isn't healthy. There is nothing wrong with interacting with other guys during a relationship, in fact it is healthier too. I don't mean flirting of course, you have to make it clear you're happily coupled with this guy, but at the same time, you shoudl develop friendships, keep an open mind, most importantly knowingother guys will remind you there is life beyondthis bf of yours, if something were to ever happen. He may just be busy. Christmas is a busy time, I would cut him some slack for another week or so, but then if the calls and e-mails don't pick up, you might want to bring this to his attention. Sometimes relationships expereince lulls, that doesn't neccesarily mean the end, but sometimes it might. Start preparing for the worst. I know that there is no way to prepare for that sort of thing, however just know that there is still hope, and if things don't work out, we're all here to support you! CuppaJoe- I agree with what the others have said in your case. This girl might still like you, but you gotta play it cool right now. She's obviously not ready for serious commitment, so don't require it of her. Right now she's in a relationship, let it be. That's your friend she's dating, and friends are way more important than one crush, no matter how intense it might be, I highly doubt she will be worth losing a friend over. ONce that ends, if you're still interested in her, play it cool. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
PadawanEmily Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 1/1/04 4:01pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Hello everyone i saw this thread and thought nothing of it, but htought i'd ask for some advice. Okay here it goes: I've been on and off with this guy lets call him... Jim, i like him and all but i can never get a serious anwser out of him then there's this other guy... Ron, he and i have a lot in common we tell each other the truth and it started out as a friend ship but it's turning into something more, at least i think so. What should i do? -----signature----- "...you were made to go out and get her...."
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nirvana Registered: Aug '00	Date Posted: 1/1/04 4:16pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Thanks connemara. I talk to other boys of course. I should have said flirt. What I meant is, that I don´t flirt with other boys. The thing is, I know he loves me, and all, but he just doesn´t apreciate(sp?) me the way I want him too. He is very busy this holiday, and he told me he would ring as soon as he could. I have remembered and acknoleged this. The thing is that my depression lately has turned into anger, and I feel so angry at him. And it is clouding my thoughts at the moment. What I am saying is, that him having a good time, and me having a lousy time, is ok, i guess. It is more that I feel forgotten, during this holiday. I so want to be a part of his life, and it is stressing me that I feel I am not. I am 19. I need the love and confort, that only a guy can give you. I can´t even hook up with guys. It is like I have a boyfriend, without any of the good things included. Sort of like having a stuffed dog. You have a dog, but he can´t do anything. You can try throwing a stick, but it wont move. I just feel so hurt and angry, for him moving home for two years. Thankgod tis will be over in 5 months. It been one hell of a emotional rollercoaster ride. All this stress and depresion has taken it´s toll over me, over the past 1 1/2 years. I am no longer as full of life as I used to. I used to always smile, and people always commented on how cherfull I always was. Now there goes weeks between my smiles. When all this is over, will I ever be my old self again? I mean, is coming back to you old self posible? -----signature----- I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/2/04 10:10am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	PadawanEmily: I've been on and off with this guy... I think you've answered your own question here! If you define the relationship as "on and off" (and presumably, "Jim" does too?), and something a little more meaningful seems to be developing with "Ron," then I say stay in touch with "Jim" on a friendship level, and -- in the meantime -- see what becomes of a relationship with "Ron." Nirvana: How do you know if your long distance boyfriend is as faithful as he says? I would turn this back on you: is there something that makes YOU think he is not being faithful? And, just out of curiosity, how are YOU defining "faithful?" (what does that concept mean to YOUR mind?) The thing is that my depression lately has turned into anger, and I feel so angry at him. Nothing wrong with feeling angry...my concern, however, is that you sound like you are feeling helpless -- are you? I need the love and comfort, that only a guy can give you. Well, on one hand, I know what you mean, but on the other, I am again given a bit of cause for concern: no man will ever make you feel "loved" and "comforted" -- another person can never be responsible for what YOU feel...you will either feel that way within a meaningful/stable relationship, or you won't...but don't necessarily expect another person to bring these gifts to you; you will find them on your own. Does that make any sense? -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/2/04 12:26pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Padawan Emily- I think Space_Man answered your problem pretty well. If you need any more advice concerning the matters of "Jim" and "Ron", feel free to look us up. Nirvana- Hmm. Well, you say this separation will be over in 5 months, right? Well, that's good. Here's the thing- I think I understand what you mean when you say you need a guy to make you feel loved. You want someone who calls you every night, who sends you little mushy e-mails on whim, who tells you he loves you every day? I can understand because every girl wants that. Thing is, there are different kinds of guys. Some guys are very vocal about their feelings. Others might have very strong feelings, but never say anything about them, they just assume the feeling is mutually understood. So in the past, has this guy been very vocal about his feelings, and he hasn't been lately? Or was he never as vocal as you liked? If he's been acting differently lately, there are two possibilities. Either he is having doubts about the relationship that he has to work out, or he is in fact unfaithful or losing interest. Sometimes people just need to work through anxieties, fears, and doubts. You should give him the benefit of the doubt that that's what he's doing, and give him some time to work things out in his head. If you have always felt he isn't giving you as much love as you want, you need to make a choice: can you be happy with him the way he is, or will you only be happy if he's more vocal? Because this may be how he is, and he may be quiet and reserved about his feelings all his life. I would strongly recomend you stick with him, and learn to accept he doesnt' show love in the way you want, but he does love you. But it's your call. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nirvana Registered: Aug '00	Date Posted: 1/2/04 12:52pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	He has never been very vocal about his feelings. When we started going out he never rang, because we saw each other everyday. I don´t know why I feel like this at the moment. I think it is becouse it is the holidays, and I am just reminded of how alone I am lately. -----signature----- I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DerthNader Registered: Feb '01	Date Posted: 1/2/04 12:54pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I would strongly recomend you stick with him, and learn to accept he doesnt' show love in the way you want, but he does love you. But it's your call Another alternative...examine if you really want to be with someone who behaves like this. If he's been this way for the entire time you've been with him, he's not going to change. And if it's bothering you now, it's probably bothered you before, and it will continue to bother you the longer you are together. So, this is as good a time as any to determine within yourself what you want and expect from a man, how you want him to treat you, etc. And accept nothing less. -----signature----- Genderfrak.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JangoMike Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/2/04 1:09pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Thanks Jango, for holding down the fort here... Just doing my civil duties Ma'am............. -----signature----- PROUD MEMBER OF ~~The Johnny Depp Fan Club of the JCC~~ PoopReport.com - Your #1 source for your #2 business <=== Thats what I call a nose.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nirvana Registered: Aug '00	Date Posted: 1/2/04 5:34pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 1/2/04 5:37pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Nirvana
	Maybe I am just being stubborn, but I don´t feel like I can call him. I called him 9 days ago, and he promised he would call me as soon as he could. I don´t want to give myself out as a me me me me look at me girl friend. I would like to feel wanted, though. I would feel better knowing he called me, and talked to me by his own free will, instead of me calling him up. I am so confused by this point. It has been a bad holiday for me, and him not calling me, makes it just that bit worse. Guys, please tell me I am right, by saying that you don´t want your girlfriend calling you up, when you said you would get back to her. Nothing wrong with feeling angry...my concern, however, is that you sound like you are feeling helpless -- are you? Feeling helpless is an understatement here, I am afraid. -----signature----- I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JangoMike Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/2/04 5:38pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Guys, please tell me I am right, by saying that you don´t want your girlfriend calling you up, when you said you would get back to her. If he says he would call you and hasnt yet I am afraid this isnt a good thing. Also if he really cared for you he would have called you by now. My dear I am sorry to say this but he is definatly not being true to you. I am sorry i have to break it to you but its the truth. The truth hurts. But think of it this way. Its not worth all this heart ache wondering this and that. You are better off just breaking it off and moving on. I know you dont think thats the right thing to do but trust me it is. Your better off moving on. If its ment to be then he may comeback later on in life. For now you need to just move on. Your young and able you will find someone new. Or maybe you dont need anyone right now. Just play it by ear but definately move on with this guy. Its not worth the heartache and trouble. -----signature----- PROUD MEMBER OF ~~The Johnny Depp Fan Club of the JCC~~ PoopReport.com - Your #1 source for your #2 business <=== Thats what I call a nose.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nirvana Registered: Aug '00	Date Posted: 1/2/04 5:40pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	You think so? It is breaking my hart, to think that. I have given so much. -----signature----- I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/2/04 5:43pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Nirvana- I totally know how you feel. It's not just with bfs, either. I don't like to call up my friends if I feel they don't want to call me up in return. Anyway, does he ever call you up? And basically if that's how he's always been, there's a good chance your relationship is on fine ground, he's just not very vocal. So it's up to you, as I said, to decide if you will be able to love him as he is. Because if you're ever going to do that, you have to be accepting of who he is now, and not base the relationship on how you hope he'll be in the future. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nirvana Registered: Aug '00	Date Posted: 1/2/04 5:47pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	We take turns calling. And I just totally blew it. I got all weak and called him up, and his mother took the phone. He has been at a summerhouse thing for a few days now, and isn´t home until a few days. Now I feel degraded. -----signature----- I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
JangoMike Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/2/04 5:48pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	You think so? It is breaking my hart, to think that. I have given so much I know I know. I feel bad for having to tell you this but, I am a guy, i know how guys are, ive been down this road and ive seen people go down this raod many many times. Is it really worth all the heartache??????? You could give everthing in the world for a guy and if he doesnt appreciate it why waste your time????? Im just trying to save you NOW before its really too late. -----signature----- PROUD MEMBER OF ~~The Johnny Depp Fan Club of the JCC~~ PoopReport.com - Your #1 source for your #2 business <=== Thats what I call a nose.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DerthNader Registered: Feb '01	Date Posted: 1/2/04 6:49pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	He has been at a summerhouse thing for a few days now, and isn´t home until a few days Did you know he was going to be at this "summerhouse thing"? Or is this a bit of a surprise to you? Now I feel degraded You shouldn't feel degraded, only because by doing this, you start to get a better idea of what's going on, and what you should do about the situation. -----signature----- Genderfrak.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

« 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 » - Previous | Next | Reload

Jedi Council Forums » JC Community » Your Jedi Council Community