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Author	Topic: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones; GWG challenge entry)
lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 1/19/05 4:56am Subject: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones; GWG challenge entry) - Date Edited: 2/2/05 3:38am (2 edits total) Edited By: lazykbys
	Title: Size Matters Not Author: lazykbys Timeframe: AotC Characters: Yoda & the clones Genre: action Summary: Yoda shows the clones who's boss. Notes: This story (which has now become my GWG Macho challenge entry) is quite fanboyish. You have been warned. Size Matters Not Yoda looked at the assembled troops from behind his podium and supressed a sigh. Two hundred thousand cloned soldiers. Two hundred thousand bodies with the exact same genetic identity, mass-produced for the sole purpose of warfare. It did not help that they were unhelmeted. Seeing the rows upon rows of identical faces only added to his growing discomfort. There was simply something about their existence that made him want to be elsewhere. Still, he was a Jedi and he had a job to do. His feelings would have to wait. He explained the situation to them in a few short sentences. The Separatists had created a huge droid army on Geonosis. The clone army was being enlisted to combat that threat. They would leave Kamino for Geonosis in a few hours, when the ships were prepped and ready for launch. He did not add that their existence was a puzzle to the Jedi Council. The order for the clones' production had been supposedly placed by a Jedi Master who was dead at the time, using private funds that seemed to have come from nowhere. Yoda suspected the Sith were behind all this. He had other suspicions as well, including the rather worrying one that the Council was walking into a trap by using these clones. However, the alternative was a civil war that would tear the Republic in two. He could only choose the lesser of two evils, and hoped it stayed the lesser. "Any questions?" he asked. Several clones raised their hands. Their questions were mostly about enemy strengths and emplacements, something Yoda could only speculate on. With each truthful We do not know, the murmuring among the clones increased. Then one clone asked, "What will be the chain of command?" "Obey the Jedi you will," Yoda explained. "If orders conflict, I am in command." The murmuring became a muted roar. Even without the Force, Yoda felt their intense dissatisfaction. Although the clone soldiers were created for loyalty, the fact that they were being lead into battle blindfolded with a leader whose tactical skills were unproven was decidedly less than inspiring. In that case - take the initiative, I must. He pointed his gimer stick at a random clone in the front. "You!" he snapped. "Think I am unfit to lead?" The clone snapped to attention. "No, sir!" "Do not lie to me. Feel your distrust I can." He walked around the podium with slow, deliberate steps, and came face to abdomen with the clone. He glared up into the clone's nostrils. "Think I am too small, do you? Hmm?" "No, sir!" the clone said. His eyes, however, were fixed straight ahead in a soldier's patented getting yelled at by a superior officer stance that he managed to make into a slur of Yoda's height, or lack of it, as well. "Then teach you I must," Yoda announced, the Force amplifying his words to reach every clone in the immense room. "Size matters not." He placed his hand on the white plating of the clone's armor and pushed. The unfortunate clone was thrown backwards by the Force, plowing down a dozen of his fellow soldiers with him as he fell. Yoda waited until he had the clones' attention. Then he tossed his gimer stick aside and waggled his hand in invitation at the staring mass. "Hit me," he said, "if you can." At first the clones only exchanged puzzled glances, obviously wondering if they were allowed to strike at a commanding officer before battle. Finally one of them came forward with a half-hearted kick. Yoda ducked beneath it, then added a Force push to the leg's momentum that sent the clone windmilling upwards. By the time he hit the floor, all traces of hesitation in the clones had disappeared. They did not rush towards him but formed a circle five meters wide with him in the center. Three clones stepped into the circle, the same calculating look in all their eyes. Yoda waited for them to take up their positions around him. Then he waited some more for them to make the first move. Almost simultaneously, both of the clones in his sight stopped circling and lunged forward with a cry. He took a step backwards, then spun and leapt into the air, neatly landing a kick on the chin of the third clone, who was attempting to tackle him from behind. He used the kick to jump above the first two who were changing their feint into something more serious. He landed on all fours just behind them, then used his position to kick their legs out from under them. As they fell, Yoda pushed the floor with his arms so that his feet going up met their heads coming down in a satisfying double crack. He did not wait for the next clone to enter the circle. Instead he leaped into their midst, becoming a hurricane of kicks, punches, and chops. With each blow he sent clones flying, knocking down others in the process. By this time the clones had donned their helmets and activated their comm systems. They formed small groups, some dragging their unconscious comrades out of what had become a war zone. Others were falling back to positions where they could observe Yoda's moves and report them. Obviously, they now regarded him as a serious threat. Good, Yoda thought. They were learning quickly. With a gesture he called his gimer stick into his hand. He pointed it at a clone whose markings proclaimed him to be a commander. "You I challenge," he said. "A duel I request." The commander shook his head. It was the only sensible response, as he was no stronger than the clones Yoda had already shown he could defeat. Also, a one-on-one duel was an archaic tactic only employed these days as an act of desperation by those who were outnumbered and outgunned. There was no way he could know that Yoda was offering him the duel as an honorable way of losing to a lone enemy, or that the short alien was trying to protect the clone army from needless injuries before the true battle on Geonosis. As one the clones charged. Yoda noted that many of them held rods in their hands, makeshift weapons made from - what? The room's plumbing? Parts from their fallen comrades' armor? Whatever it was, it was proof of the clones' resourcefulness. Yoda allowed himself a brief smile of approval before launching himself at the attacking clones. He swung the gimer stick like he would a lightsaber, but only until the moment before contact with the leading clone's weapon. Instead he held the stick in place with the Force and swung his body around it like an acrobat, delivering a two-legged kick to the clone's helmeted face. In perfect accordance with the physical law of action and reaction, Yoda and the clone found themselves flung away from each other at great speed. Yoda managed a perfect landing while the clone knocked down his squadmates in a tangle of arms and legs. Almost the instant he landed, two clones swung their makeshift clubs at him with near-perfect coordination. Yoda blocked one with his right arm and the other with his left leg, using the Force to bleed off the impact from the blows. He then took advantage of the moment of surprise to grab the rod near his right hand, kick the ground, and "walk" up the clone's body in a few short steps that ended with a well-placed toe in the clone's chin. The momentum carried him into a backwards flip that landed him on the other clone's shoulders. Before he could react, Yoda grabbed the soldier's head firmly with his feet and twisted with enough force to rattle his brains but not to pop his spinal column. He needed the clones alive, after all. It seemed, however, that either he had miscalculated or the clones were tougher than he had thought. Instead of crumpling to the floor unconscious, the clone grabbed Yoda's foot just as the Jedi Master was about to leap off. In this momentary loss of momentum the clone swung him round and round, then down towards the floor. Yoda freed himself by jabbing his gimer stick at the clone's wrist, but it was a split second too late. He was slammed to the floor where he lay gasping for breath. Yoda blinked in pain, wondering why he had not detected the clone's intent. He made a mental note to himself as he tried to stop his vision from spinning: Create great confusion in the Force, clones do. It was something he would have to test later. For now, all he could do was stay alert. He had just gotten to his feet when the first clone tackled him. It was not successful in powering him to the floor and was neutralized with a swift fist to the head, but it kept Yoda occupied long enough for the second clone. Who kept him busy for the third. And the fourth. And the fifth. Within seconds he was buried under a pile of clones. Within minutes he would probably be crushed by their weight. Not that this was a problem. With a grunt Yoda made enough space to take a deep breath. Then, drawing on the Force for perhaps more power than he needed, he created a telekinetic explosion that sent cloned bodies flying in all directions. One unfortunate clone actually became embedded in the ceiling for several seconds before gravity reclaimed him. Yoda looked around the room and saw more clones standing than knocked out. There were two hundred thousand of them, after all. His brawl had hardly put a dent in their numbers. Unfortunately, he could feel growing hostility in those that remained. What had started as a simple match to establish discipline and respect had now become a personal matter with them. Yoda checked his wrist chrono and saw he still had hours to go before the ships were ready. He wasn't sure he could end this nonsense by that time. Too old I am getting for this, he thought, then resigned himself to the fact that he was the only Jedi here, and that he had a job to do. He faced the sea of white armor and gave them a curt nod. "Bring it on." ----- The comm link's beeping awakened Yoda from his healing trance. He opened his eyes and winced because, as a glance at his chrono told him, he'd only been resting for a few minutes. "Yes?" A female Kaminoan's voice informed him that the ships were ready. Then, after a short pause, she asked whether he knew where the clones were as none of them were responding to their calls. "Do not worry," he told her. "They will be there. See to it I will." He hobbled over to the nearest clone and kicked his helmet. The clone groaned as consciousness returned. "Get up!" Yoda snapped. "Heal you can on the way to Geonosis." -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/19/05 6:51am Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	That was wonderful! You did such a good job of exploring the Jedi's ambivalence toward the clones. And you captured Yoda's unique spirit! At first the clones only exchanged puzzled glances, obviously wondering if they were allowed to strike at a commanding officer before battle. Finally one of them came forward with a half-hearted kick. Yoda ducked beneath it, then added a Force push to the leg's momentum that sent the clone windmilling upwards. By the time he hit the floor, all traces of hesitation in the clones had disappeared. I could see the little green one doing just this! Bravo! -----signature----- Someone who loves me carries an M16. My baby boy wears combat boots.
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CommanderConrad Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/19/05 9:17pm Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	Wow, that was badass. I really liked the last line (it reminds me of some of the things yelled at me during training.) Good work! Very macho! -----signature----- I dispense from this side judgments inexorable, without the least remorse.
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Jedi_BMK Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 1/20/05 7:34pm Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	Very cool and very fun. The fanboy in me loves it and the rest of me found it amusing as well. Good job. -----signature----- Destiny of the Skywalkers II: Splintered Paths OT AU (L/M H/L A/P) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28042042/
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_JM_ Registered: Jun '01	Date Posted: 1/27/05 6:48pm Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	I don’t blame the Clones for being concerned, I’d be concerned if I was a soldier and not only was my entire unit being placed under the overall command of someone of unproven expertise but that he also expected all his colleagues to also have command authority that superseded that of the existing officers. I enjoyed the story and the descriptions of how Yoda fought them were clear to follow and had a lot of variety in the moves he was doing. -----signature----- Seeming unable to just say "Nice post, I enjoyed it" Sometimes amazed at how "I'll reply tomorrow" becomes "I should have replied last week" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Return of a Jedi. http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23421597
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lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 1/28/05 4:43am Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	VaderLVR64: You did such a good job of exploring the Jedi's ambivalence toward the clones. Thank you! Although to be honest, I simply borrowed Luke's feelings from Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy and expanded it a little. CommanderConrad: Good work! Very macho! scratches head Like I said before, I'm still not sure what macho is. Although the clones fighting Yoda to the last man might count as macho behavior. Thanks for reading! Jedi_BMK: The fanboy in me loves it and the rest of me found it amusing as well. Thank you! My inner fanboy is screaming at me to write a sequel in which Yoda battles the entire Imperial Navy with nothing but a lightsaber. The rest of me finds him amusing as well _JM_: I enjoyed the story and the descriptions of how Yoda fought them were clear to follow and had a lot of variety in the moves he was doing. I wanted to write 6000 words of Yoda kicking - um - rear end, but my imagination ran out. If only I could have come up with a way for the clones to use some serious weaponry . . . sigh Thanks for reading! -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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JediNemesis Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 1/28/05 12:36pm Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	Wonderfully handled action. I can safely say that there's at least one fangirl who also likes watching Yoda kick posterior. "Hit me," he said, "if you can." I detect a Matrix line . . . Was that a conscious quote, or not? Either way it works well, and sounds very - Yodalike. Great work on capturing the spirit of the little green guy. Nem -----signature----- BeTS Best Author '08 NEW Eleven Summers - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29657584 Lightning and Diamonds - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29251762 Into The Shining Day - http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/29224914
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lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 2/1/05 4:15am Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones)
	JediNemesis: I detect a Matrix line . . . Was that a conscious quote, or not? I'm glad someone noticed Yes, it was a very conscious quote. In fact, this fic was inspired by the scene in The Matrix Reloaded where Neo fights all the you-know-whos. Thank you for reading! -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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Darth_Djinn Title: Retired Councilor Heart of the Alliance KC, MO FF Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 2/2/05 8:58am Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones; GWG challenge entry)
	Excellent I see why this story won -----signature----- For Mirax80... MEOW!!! MRM '06 -- May the Goldenrod be with you always!!! Jacen Solo= Darth Schaduwen
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SkalenFehl Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 2/2/05 3:00pm Subject: RE: Size Matters Not (fanboyish AotC action w/ Yoda and the clones; GWG challenge entry)
	Indeed. Congratulations to lazykbs for taking first place in the January Macho Man challenge in the Gentlemen's Writing Guild. Here is your gold cup! -----signature----- Founder of The Gentlemen's Writing Guild New Christmas Fic--http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27837048/p1/?0
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