Jedi Council Forums - Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 10: Gathering Dusk

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Before the Saga »

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 10: Gathering Dusk - up 8/13
Nienna_Narmolanya Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 7/8/06 6:37pm Subject: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 10: Gathering Dusk - up 8/13 - Date Edited: 7/16/07 2:25pm (15 edits total) Edited By: Nienna_Narmolanya
	Title: Whispers Author: Nienna Narmolanya Characters: Jocasta Nu, Dooku, OC’s Genre: Drama, with a hint of spookiness Timeframe: 88 years B.B.Y. (Jocasta is 12, Dooku is 14) Summary: Before a Jedi master wielded her saber and a head Archives librarian ruled her chosen domain, there was a lonely girl uncertain of her future. As Jocasta struggles to find her place among the Jedi, she contends with malicious rivals, disconcerting events, and her own fears, unaware that the real threat has yet to make its presence known. Disclaimer: I own nothing, except an imagination too big for my own good. George Lucas is the designer of all – except my OC’s, of course, and my angsty backstory for Jocasta. (The angst was a prerequisite, of course.) Notes: This story was inspired by a line from my fic “Ghost Stories.” It started out as a one-post viggie, but kept growing…and growing… It’s been a long and bumpy road to this point (punctuated by complete rewrites), and I must say, I’m thrilled to finally be posting. >> Much thanks goes to my beta, Stormqueen, for her hard work and patience, and to all the others who gently, if not subtly, prodded me to finish this. I will be updating bi-weekly on Sundays and Wednesdays (in order to get the whole thing posted before school starts up again), but if you'd like to receive a PM reminder, just let me know and I'll start a list. And I think it goes without saying that replies of all shapes and sizes are most welcome. I'm worried about this one, so I'd love to hear your thoughts. So without further to do... Prologue: Watching “Jocasta, come look at this!” Holding out a furry Wookie doll, Jillian tried to put as much excitement into her voice as possible, in hopes that the little girl sitting on the floor would follow her back over to the other younglings. The girl only stared up in silent defiance before looking back out the large viewport. As a Crèche master, Jillian had many years of experience with young ones, but Jocasta was a problem all her own. Glancing around the playroom, Jillian made sure the other children were doing all right. They all seemed sufficiently entertained, playing with toys or watching the little Quilan birds as they flew around their cage in the corner. She didn’t understand what it was about the scene that Jocasta found so disagreeable. Suppressing a sigh, she ran a hand through her bushy hair. Jocasta had been looking out the viewport for quite a while now; it was time she came away. “Jocasta,” she said again, dropping the doll as she reached down to pick the girl up. “No!” Jocasta cried, flinching away, and Jillian drew back her hands. The girl’s short brown hair stuck out at odd angles and Jillian resisted the sudden urge to laugh, though she didn’t feel the slightest bit of mirth. Perhaps, after so many years of caring for the younglings, she was finally going insane. Another Crèche master, a stout, humanoid male named Dirn, entered the room at that moment and paused, assessing the situation. He raised a thin, white eyebrow as he approached the woman. “Jocasta giving you trouble again?” Stepping back from the child, who was again occupied with the Coruscanti skyline, Jillian laid her hands on her hips. “Yes.” She turned to her companion, still watching Jocasta from the corner of her eye, and continued in a softer tone. “She’s been here for nearly a month now and she still refuses to take part in any activity that involves the other younglings. I think being around people makes her uncomfortable.” Dirn nodded. “I assumed as much,” he said. “Her arrival at the Temple wasn’t exactly ideal and I expected some negative consequences. For now, we must do everything we can to encourage her to join the other younglings. I’m sure she’ll grow out of her reluctance as she matures.” The woman glanced at the child again, and she watched as Jocasta’s eyes darted back and forth, following the paths of the speeders that passed by the viewport—or at least that was the way it appeared. Jillian had a strange feeling that the girl’s eyes were actually searching, raking the skyline. For what, she would never know. “I hope you’re right,” she replied. ><><>< The small boy followed the young, female Crèche assistant somberly, dragging his feet on the carpeted floor and fiddling with the fringe of his tunic. He didn’t want to go back to play time, to the other younglings of his age group who ignored him, playing their games without him. They always looked so happy, so content. What did that feel like? As the boy and the woman walked the narrow hallway, they passed an open door with a low gate in place to keep the young ones in. The sounds of excited shrieks and toys crashing to the floor spilled out into the hallway. Curious, the boy left the Crèche assistant’s wake to peer over the top of the gate, entwining his fingers in the crisscrossing slats. His eyes scanned the room for a few moments, taking it all in, and he didn’t come away when the woman called his name. He’d seen something—someone. A humanoid girl, smaller than himself, sat by the floor-to-ceiling viewport on the far side of the room, fully engrossed in what she saw. The woman standing beside her called her name. “Jocasta.” Glancing again at the other younglings who played noisily, the boy couldn’t help but notice that this girl was different. He fixed unblinking eyes on her, tightening his grip on the gate slats for a moment, then with one hand he tried to reach over the top of the gate… “Dooku!” the Crèche assistant cried with a hint of laughter as she grabbed him under the arms and hoisted him onto her hip. “Come on, big guy. You need to get back to your play room.” As she carried him away, the boy swiveled in her arms until he faced the doorway again and craned his head to see the girl. The woman said something about him being too big to carry, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was quietly waving goodbye. ><><>< TBC EDIT: Icon switched from the traditional Mon Mothma for the occasion. studies new icon Gosh, that looks odd. I think this is a temporary change... -----signature----- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard The Padawan Chronicles - http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27250281/p1/?54
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Magenta_Moonshadow Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 7/8/06 8:14pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	A great start, Master! I can't wait to read more! -----signature----- Proud padawan of Nienna_Narmolanya Member of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan Fan Clubs "ONCE A JEDI" (A Drabble - Ben and Luke) http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=26761802&brd=10476&start=26788057
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Mathom Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 7/8/06 9:07pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	This looks like a great beginning. I like the sense of forboding and the Yoda: Dark Rendezvous-esque young Dooku. He and Jocasta seem like a perfect match, lost souls in a sea of happy Jedi who don't understand. If you make a PM list, could you put me on it? Thanks. -----signature----- "Age merely shows what children we remain." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe --- Drabbles on a Page: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24377564
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 7/8/06 10:32pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	Oh! Sweet a young Jo tale! With Dooku in it!! PM me when you update if you don't mind! Great start! Poor dears both feeling 'out' of place with their fellow age mates. -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Only thru fear, hatred, and pain will the true power of the Force be revealed. See stories/viggies in bio
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Kestrel_Kenobi Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 7/9/06 2:57pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	Oh Nienna I've been looking forward to this so much and I'm so happy you've posted it. You have no reason to be worried at all! What a wonderful beginning...very mysterious. I feel sad for Jocasta and Dooku... As she carried him away, the boy swiveled in her arms until he faced the doorway again and craned his head to see the girl. The woman said something about him being too big to carry, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was quietly waving goodbye. Awww... Please update soon and let me know when you do! Bravo -----signature----- I had a baby girl! July '08! Proud Padawan to the elusive Jennifer_Lyn! Together again... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443701/
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Katieelessar Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 7/9/06 5:57pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	Oh Master I was so excited to see that you finally put this up! After all the terrible waiting you put me in pouts But I'm so happy you've started posting. I really like how you've depicted Jocasta and Dooku so far. Even as small children, their personalities are really taking shape. Please post again soon! -----signature----- Thank You All my Readers For voting for "As A Father" The Devoted Padawan of Nienna_Narmolanya
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
bdenes Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 7/10/06 8:47am Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	Wow, definitely put me on your PM list. This is a great idea and I'm looking forward to see where you go with it. I enjoy reading more about the obscure characters from the films and putting Jocasta and Dooku together in story set early in their lives is such a promising story.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Persephone_Kore Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 7/10/06 2:37pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8
	This looks intriguing! -----signature----- Protégé: Chosen: http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/28612428 A Rose in the Ashes: http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/29028814 Lost Ones: http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/29061459 Morality and the Sith Apprentice: http://boards.theforce.net/f1/b1/27581326
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nienna_Narmolanya Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 7/12/06 8:55am Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Prologue up 7/8 - Date Edited: 7/12/06 9:07am (3 edits total) Edited By: Nienna_Narmolanya
	Oooh! Yummy replies! Magenta - Aww, thank you, dear padawan! More is on the way! Mathom - I haven't read Dark Rendezvous yet, though it's sitting on my shelf... (gasp I know!) My characterization of Dooku will be based solely on what I see in the movies and picked up on in the RotS novel. I hope it works! And thank you for reading! You've been added to the PM list. Kynstar - The Countess herself! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! This is my first attempt at Dooku, so we'll see how it goes... Kes - Aww, thanks! But I'm still a little worried. We have yet to launch into the meat of the story. That's today's mission. Katie - Padawan, you know waiting is an exercise in patience... Thank you, thank you! I'm glad Jo and Dooku are working out far. bdenes - I think writing about obscure characters is so fun because you can be as creative as you want, but you have certain guidelines that make it easier - including having the name already. I'm terrible at coming up with names. Thanks for reading! And you've been added to the PM list. Persephone_Kore - I'm glad you think so! -Current PM List- - Mathom - Kynstar - bdenes - Kestrel_Kenobi Here comes some more! Prologue out of the way - time to delve into the tale. Chapter One: A Fear -Ten years later- The high ceiling and plain gray walls of the training salle swirled across Jocasta’s vision as she rolled away from the other youngling’s lightsaber blade. Panting as sweat trickled down her face, she tried to focus on her opponent’s blade and anticipate where it would be next. A group of younglings – her clanmates – stood off to one side, letting loose a few cheers for the girl she fought. It figured; they never cheered for her… Concentrate! she berated herself. Or you’ll get burned like usual! Powerful in the Force and quick on her feet, the girl she fought, Linna, represented the top of the twelve-year-olds lightsaber class, and Jocasta was no match for her. This was torture, that’s what it was. When Master Yoda sent word halfway through the class period that he wished to come and observe, their sparring instructor, the imposing Master Fitulan, decided to give him a demonstration of what the younglings had learned. It was no surprise that he chose Linna, but when searching for her opponent, his gaze roved over the younglings uncertainly. It eventually alighted on Jocasta and her heart dropped into her boots. As the other younglings whispered amongst themselves about the pairing, Jocasta’s eyes frantically searched the room for the assistant sparring instructor, Master Tyone. Finding the woman’s tall, athletic frame easily, Jocasta silently pleaded with her for rescue, but Tyone only offered at tight smile, though she usually tried to temper some of Fitulan’s more dangerous pair-ups. Although Jocasta didn’t know her well, she seemed to be a kind master, most often speaking in a soft, gentle voice, but she could be stern too, and Jocasta was under no illusion that her bad side was not the place to be. Master Tyone wore long, dark brown skirts instead of the traditional Jedi pants and tunic, possibly because she’d been off the field duty roster for years due to a horrific injury of some sort. Jocasta didn’t know much about it. That’s when she started helping with the youngling classes, and Jocasta had seen her working in the Archives too. Though she seemed mostly healed, she still carried the evidence of that injury, a thin, jagged scar that stretched from her right temple to where her jawbone met her neck. Jocasta winced just looking at it. It was even paler than the woman’s skin. Linna stood up, stretching her highly toned muscles, and Jocasta broke out of her reverie with what felt like a punch to the gut. She was doomed. She pulled her mind back to the present battle, though she’d rather be anywhere else. Fatigue ached in every muscle and her parries grew increasingly clumsier. She reached out to the Force, in desperate need of its assistance, but the tighter she squeezed, the more it spiraled out of her grasp. She knew she couldn’t keep up with Linna without its aid, and as if to prove it, her vision started to tunnel… “Stop,” commanded a gravelly voice from the direction of the other younglings. Jocasta deactivated her blade in unison with Linna, who shot her a smug look. Ignoring it, she turned to the visiting Jedi master, gasping to catch her breath. Master Yoda gestured to her with his three-digit hand. “Jocasta Nu, fighting like a Jedi you are not. Feel the Force. Open your mind to it fully you must, if hope to disarm your opponent you do.” “Yes, Master,” Jocasta replied with a small bow, loose tendrils of brown hair falling over her shoulder. She fought to ignore Linna’s quiet snicker, even as frustration welled up inside. She couldn’t count how many times the masters had told her that exact thing, albeit not in Yoda’s phrasings. The Force always seemed to abandon her when she needed it most. Maybe it didn’t want her… Yoda fixed his large, knowing eyes on her for a moment before turning to Linna. “Impressive your skills are, but to laugh at your opponent’s folly… Befitting of a Jedi warrior that behavior is not.” The girl shifted, obviously ruffled, and Jocasta struggled to hide a smile. The wizened master spoke no more on the matter, instead thanking Master Fitulan for allowing him to visit his class. Fitulan bowed reverently, then turned to the younglings. “All right,” he said loudly, clapping his large, four fingered hands together once, “class is dismissed. It’s time for meditation with Master Tregik.” A chorus of groans rose from the younglings as all but Linna marched toward the doors in the training salle’s northeast corner that led to the male and female changing rooms. Masters Fitulan and Tyone moved off to converse in private, but Jocasta didn’t budge, allowing her lungs time to catch up with her rapidly beating pulse. Linna glanced at her, frowning hatefully, before she too left the room, flipping her violet hair, damp with sweat, over her shoulder and flouncing away. Jocasta watched her go, lips tight, until she felt the weight of eyes on her back. Jerking around as fast as her aching muscles would allow, she found Master Yoda standing two meters away, regarding her with a calm, penetrating gaze. Jocasta suppressed a sudden flutter in her stomach, certain those eyes could see right through her. “A fear you have, young Jocasta.” She jumped slightly, as Yoda’s words broke the silence of the now empty room. Pushing some loose hairs behind her ear nervously, Jocasta forced herself to meet his gaze. “A fear, Master?” Yoda leaned forward on his gimmer stick, and Jocasta found her gaze sliding to the blue pads that covered the floor. “Know of what I speak, you do, though realize it yet, you may not. Help you, I cannot; yet others there may be…” His voice, heavy with concern, trailed off as he rubbed his chin. “Hmm…” Shifting marginally, Jocasta glanced beyond Master Yoda to the massive durasteel columns, half imbedded in the wall, which held up the training salle’s roof. A shadow stirred suddenly behind one of them. Startled, Jocasta looked again more closely, but saw nothing. Yoda gestured toward the changing room doors, catching Jocasta’s attention, a small, enigmatic smile replacing his grave expression. “Prepare for your next class you must, young one.” “Yes, Master,” Jocasta said, bowing in respectful farewell. As she strode away, her thoughts turned first to Yoda’s cryptic message about “a fear” but soon settled on the master’s criticism. Her cheeks burned. The masters were always correcting her for something, but to have it come from Master Yoda… Why couldn’t she do something right for once? Maybe then the masters and younglings would actually like her. Maybe then she’d have a chance at being picked for apprenticeship by her thirteenth naming day – or at least the day the Crèche masters had picked for her. Nobody knew her real naming day. She ignored a strange tightening in her chest and breathed deeply of the room’s cool, circulated air. Let the past be the past, she told herself, forbidding her mind to pursue that particular path. She approached the narrow female changing room door, which was painted an annoyingly bland shade of gray, like most every other door in the Temple. She placed her borrowed training lightsaber on a rack beside it before palming the door’s keypad. As it slid open, the shouts and laughter of the other girls, who were changing into fresh robes, carried out to her. She hurried through the doorway without looking back; she didn’t dare, for she sensed Yoda’s gaze fixed firmly on her retreating form. TBC -----signature----- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard The Padawan Chronicles - http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27250281/p1/?54
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 7/12/06 11:35am Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	Poor Jo being paired up against one of the better blade wielders smarted. Glad the other girl got told about her attitude, but poor Jo! Yoda mentioning she has a fear didn't help matters. And I ponder to wonder who the 'shadow' could have been? Somebody spying on her perhaps? Great chapter! -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Only thru fear, hatred, and pain will the true power of the Force be revealed. See stories/viggies in bio
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
amidalachick Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 7/12/06 1:43pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	First, thanks for the PM! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get here. Second, the story. It's off to a great start! The prologue, with Jocasta staring out the viewport and Dooku waving goodbye, was very poignant. And the first chapter...poor Jocasta! Yoda's comments were very interesting. Again, great start, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this! -----signature----- "And it appears to be a long time Such a long, long time before the dawn..."
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Kestrel_Kenobi Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 7/12/06 2:37pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	Oooh, lovely Nienna...I'm hooked! I'm glad Jocasta has Yoda on her side...and that he has a plan!... Shifting marginally, Jocasta glanced beyond Master Yoda to the massive durasteel columns, half imbedded in the wall, which held up the training salle’s roof. A shadow stirred suddenly behind one of them. Startled, Jocasta looked again more closely, but saw nothing. Mmmm... As always your writing is wonderful... Looking forward to the next part! -----signature----- I had a baby girl! July '08! Proud Padawan to the elusive Jennifer_Lyn! Together again... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443701/
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Charmisjess Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 7/12/06 4:04pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	A young Jocasta fic! I think that I love you. Wow, Nienna! This is the first fic of yours I've read, and you're so very good! I'm so thrilled that you've taken Jo's POV! You're doing a really wonderful job with her, very well-rounded and sensible, but still a little girl. I'm really excited to see where you're taking the story! I shall be watching this fic with great interest. -----signature----- I <3 Starrie. Strange Little Girls-> http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24496675/p1/?0 Where are you going?
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Mathom Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 7/12/06 8:02pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	Poor Jocasta! She has such a miserable existance. At least Yoda sticks up for her--it seems like no one else does. All the kids in her clan seem like typical children; anyone who is different is someone they instinctively reject until adults tell them not to. But here the adults seem to be encouraging the behavior. That seems a little un-Jedi like, so I wonder what they have against her? I wonder if the shadow was Dooku? He did seem to enjoy watching her from afar in the prologue. Great post, Thanks for the PM! -----signature----- "Age merely shows what children we remain." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe --- Drabbles on a Page: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24377564
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Nienna_Narmolanya Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 7/13/06 9:53am Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	Kynstar - I picture Master Fitulan as having a kind of 'beat them down so they rise up stronger' kind of philosophy, if that makes any sense! And as for the shadow...all will be revealed in time. Thank you for reading! amidalachick - Please, no apologies! I'm glad you made it and that you're enjoying the story so far. Thank you! Kes - Yoda always know what's really going on. Thanks for the kind words! Charmisjess - Thank you, thank you! Something about the idea of a young Jocasta just bit me, so here we are. I remember reading one of your Jo/Dooku fics once and I enjoyed it very much. It's great to have you aboard! Mathom - Thank you! And again, about that shadow... (see reply to Kynstar) Thank you all! Replies are like licking the leftover powdered sugar off the plate! (Ignore my silly attempts at similies.) Next post: Sunday. -----signature----- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." - Robert Goddard The Padawan Chronicles - http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27250281/p1/?54
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
bdenes Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 7/13/06 8:23pm Subject: RE: Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 1 up 7/12!
	More good stuff! I'm a bit disappointed that we flashed forward so quickly (I was looking forward to more Toddler Jocasta ) but I love what you're doing with it. I can't wait to see what comes next!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload