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Author	Topic: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - thanks so much, everyone!
dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 8/3/07 4:52am Subject: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - thanks so much, everyone! - Date Edited: 8/6/08 6:49pm (23 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
	Title: Attraction author: dianethx Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn eats something that makes him irresistible to women. Obi-Wan would protect his Master with his life but really... this is too much. Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi Genre: ridiculous humor Timeperiod: JA. Obi-Wan is 15. Notes: I really needed to write something silly. Disclaimer: I do not own Qui-Gon Jinn or Obi-Wan Kenobi or the Star Wars concept; Lucasfilm does. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No credits have changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He was at it again. He was surrounded by females, two-deep, and the crowd was growing: not shouting or getting angry as some groups do but standing there, staring at him - rapt eyes and open mouths and once in a while a tentative touch as if he were some kind of holovid star. As if they wanted to take a piece of him home. I don't know how he does it. He isn't that attractive, although my friends tell me that he is. Quite handsome, I believe Siri said although she's only just fourteen and shouldn't be thinking such things about my Master. But I've seen older girls and women watching him, too. In fact, when she thinks no one is looking, Master Gallia gazes at him like he's water and she is dying of thirst. I don't get it. He's too tall and has that broken nose. Long hair that gets knotted and stuck to things. Slouches when he thinks no one is looking. Beard and mustache that must scratch if he kissed someone - not that he ever would. After all, he's my master, Qui-Gon Jinn, and pretty old. Besides, he snores. So I just don't understand what they see in him. But there must be something because it's the same every time we land in a system that's even vaguely humanoid. Females circling him like planets around a star. It's embarrassing. And it was happening again. At least, our mission here was done and we could go back to the Temple tomorrow - thankfully. It was nothing exciting, just treaty talk and a few heated words once in a while. For the most part, it was very routine and I was getting bored by the end of the sessions. The only cause for alarm - or amusement depending on your point of view, was my Master's constant and unwanted companion, Erelia Zadros, the elder daughter of the Prime Minister of Septemus IV. In the past few days, he hadn't made a move without tripping over her. She had become irritatingly affectionate, watching Qui-Gon with those intense brown eyes, always a few steps away - or less - whenever he was in public, touching his hand or his arm or any other part that she could reach. She'd even tried to get into his room but without success. Obviously enamored with Qui-Gon Jinn. She was pretty enough but had a high-pitched giggle that grated after a while and her attitude was that of an annoying little tyrant, assuming that everyone and everything was hers to do with as she wanted. She was very spoiled. I wasn't the only one irritated by her actions, apparently. Master was never one to brush off a pathetic lifeform but he came close with her. The set of his mouth, the way he drew himself up, crossing his arms, the hint of a frown on his face as he stared down at her, all told me that he was unhappy with the situation. He wouldn't be impolite - that was not his way - but he grew silent around the woman and avoided her whenever he could. Which wasn't often. I don't know what he finally said to her but she flounced off, decidedly upset and didn't come back for hours. Of course, he maintained the stoic Jedi Master persona in front of our hosts but I could tell he was relieved. The treaty was signed soon after that. The Prime Minister, EsSen Zadros, called for a party, and since his daughter was in charge of all celebrational festivities, Erelia returned at her father's command, her manner sullen and uncooperative. But after a while, she seemed to relax into her role and began preening as the hustle and bustle of a party and her role in organizing such an affair became clear. She was in her element - queen of all she surveyed. I didn't really pay much attention to Erelia. After all, festivities with food and drink, so soon after a treaty signing, could turn nasty if everyone was not satisfied. Both my master and I were on alert, looking for potential problems, hunting for the ordinary, everyday sort of thing that a Jedi faces - assassinations, bombings, hostage situations - the beginnings of aggressive negotiations. There was nothing of the sort, thankfully, just delegates having a good time, enjoying the inventive, remarkably bright food offerings and cool exotic drinks. It would seem that Erelia knew how to throw a party, at least. She must have been quite busy because I didn't see her for a lot of the evening. And when she did show up, she was all smiles and sweetness. I overheard her apologizing to Master Qui-Gon for her behavior, and offering up some kind of chocolate confection as a way of recompense. I knew he wouldn't be able to resist. He loved chocolate in all its forms. With some females, the situation might have called for more caution. Revenge could be sweet or so I've heard. But I didn't feel any danger in the candied treat that Qui-Gon was being offered. So I turned away and started toward some of the drunker delegates who had begun to argue a bit loudly. I assumed that Master Qui-Gon accepted the chocolate and all would be well. I was busy with other things for a while and didn't have time to watch him closely. He was a master after all. Any problems would be taken care of with finesse and his usual calm grace. But now, as the party was beginning to wind down, things were heating up a bit around my master. I've never seen such a large group of women around him before. Usually, it's three or four females, humans and near-humans, that would cluster near him. There was a Hutt a few years back. She was a crowd all by herself, using that tail to keep others away from Master Qui-Gon. But for the most part, it's been humanoids. Usually, though, he kept things under control. A nod, a soft thank-you and the flocks of admirers would melt away - until the next set of females step in and he'd be surrounded again. But this time, it was getting a little crowded. And then as I watched the growing mob, I realized why. The women weren't leaving. They were trying to get closer - with mixed results. A squashed foot here, an elbow there and pretty soon, voices were raised and bodies were scrambling for position. The swarm of beings surrounding Qui-Gon was now four-deep and growing every minute. As I watched, a cadre of security guards stepped in and began hauling some of the women away. The screeches of protest could be heard across the ballroom. But what was worse was that the few female guards present weren't helping. Instead, they were pushing aside members of the crowd and wading into the growing chaos, trying to get closer. What was going on? A head taller than the rest of the crowd, I saw that my master was concerned and not a little puzzled. The Force was muddied and I felt him trying to use mind manipulation on the mob without success. He couldn't move, certainly couldn't take out his lightsaber and scare them away and he couldn't push them aside, either. That would only cause injuries and after all, these were innocents. It was getting dangerous, though. Our eyes met and I felt Master Qui-Gon's apprehension. A clear plea for help in the Force. Time to rescue my master. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 11/20/08 jedidas3's Master At last - Hope for our country
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Jade_Max Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 8/3/07 5:10am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Oh gosh, dianthx this is just priceless! An awesome bunny, and look what you did I can't wait for part two! Obi-Wan's confusion as to what women see in his Master is pretty hilarious. He just can't understand, and won't, until he's in his master's shoes This line: There was a Hutt a few years back. She was a crowd all by herself, using that tail to keep others away from Master Qui-Gon. Had me LOLing! A hutt They all have such good taste! -----signature----- You'll Like me when I'm Dead - V/P Dark Drama - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29236355 Don't think, write. And have faith that your subconscious mind is smarter than you.- lazy RIP my little Nibbler
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Layren Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 8/3/07 5:16am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	A head taller than the rest of the crowd, I could see that my master was concerned and not a little puzzled. The Force was muddied and I could feel him trying to use mind manipulation on the mob without success. He couldn't move, certainly couldn't take out his lightsaber and scare them away and he couldn't push them aside, either. That would only cause injuries and after all, these were innocents. It was getting dangerous, though. Our eyes met and I could feel Master Qui-Gon's apprehension. A clear plea for help in the Force. Time to rescue my master. Poor Qui has to be rescued by his apprentice, so glad to see this up! And I'm sure you and me and Leona are in the crowd trying to get close -----signature----- Proud Master to Ara-gon The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's) Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge I am Jinngerbread.
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jedidas3 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 8/3/07 5:52am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	This was wonderful, Master! I needed some humor this morning and this certainly fits the bill. You captured Obi-Wan's thoughts so perfectly and I love the fact he has to rescue his master! Great Job! -----signature----- The Past Revisited http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28440949 Lessons Learned http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28580784 Remembrance http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28009025 Padawan to dianethx
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 8/3/07 5:55am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	LOVED it! Absolutely hilarious! Poor disgruntled Padawan. Please PM me when you post the second part. I don't want to miss a word of this! He's at it again. He's surrounded by females, two-deep, and the crowd is growing. Not shouting or getting angry as some groups do but standing there, staring at him. Rapt eyes and open mouths and once in a while a tentative touch as if he were some kind of holovid star. As if they wanted to take a piece of him home. I don't know how he does it. He isn't that attractive, although my friends tell me that he is. Quite handsome, I believe Siri said although she's only fourteen and shouldn't be thinking such things about my Master. But I've seen older girls and women watching him, too. In fact, when she thinks no one is looking, Master Gallia gazes at him like he's water and she is dying of thirst. I don't get it. He's too tall and has that broken nose. Long hair that gets knotted and stuck to things. Slouches when he thinks no one is looking. Beard and mustache that must scratch if he kissed someone - not that he ever would. After all, he's my master, Qui-Gon Jinn, and pretty old. Oh yes, anyone over thirty already has one foot on the funeral pyre! Perfection! -----signature----- Someone who loves me carries an M16. My baby boy wears combat boots.
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ratna Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 8/3/07 9:46am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Just you wait, Obi-Wan Kenobi, just you wait! But in the mean time please rescue your Master from the fiendish pheremones! -----signature----- Ou n'a tu pas tellement aime quelqu'un que tu avais peur de l'aimer au peur des souvenirs?
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Valairy_Scot Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 8/3/07 10:10am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	What was in that chocolate? Great story...let's see how Obi-Wan "rescues" his master. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 8/3/07 11:18am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Wow, Obi-Wan's tone is perfect. I love that he doesn't understand what anyone sees in Qui-Gon, and how Qui-Gon so gracefully handles his admirers. Can't wait to see how they get out of this one. -----signature----- It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. -barack obama
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KELIA Title: The Pretty In Pink Fan Fic Manager Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 8/3/07 12:44pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Oh poor Qui-Gon! The horror of all those female admirers Please PM me when you update Looking forward to more -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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Magier Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 8/3/07 4:19pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Well, Obi-Wan. Some women get their revenge in different ways. Time to go rescue your master. Good luck. It might be more of a challenge than you think getting him out of there. -----signature----- No Legacy So Rich : Xan,OC, Obi, Qui (12/19) Seekers, Not Saints: SW/TB crossover (8/12)
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ClaudiaR Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 8/3/07 8:52pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Diane!! This is great!! How do you get your inspirations? Obi-Wan's thoughts regarding his master's attractiveness were great the Hutt comment had me laughing out loud, as had the one about Adi Gallia and his exasperation at the female behavior was palpable! Though if I were there it would have been the apprentice who couldn't get rid of female company! I want to see how he rescues his master now! -----signature----- LURK&STALK It takes a specialist to do it right " Getting to stalk around importantly was quickly becoming the best part of pretending to be a Sith. " Obi-Wan in Deptions by Amrita_Glittersong
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azizah Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 8/3/07 11:09pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Very funny. This line really made me laugh - In fact, when she thinks no one is looking, Master Gallia gazes at him like he's water and she is dying of thirst. and I loved how Obi-Wan just cannot figure out what all these women see in the old man. I can't wait for more.
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Jedikma Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 8/4/07 8:04am Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Diane, I love when you get silly! A few of my favorite lines: In fact, when she thinks no one is looking, Master Gallia gazes at him like he's water and she is dying of thirst. There was a Hutt a few years back. She was a crowd all by herself, using that tail to keep others away from Master Qui-Gon. But what was worse was that the few female guards present weren't helping. Instead, they were pushing aside members of the crowd and wading into the growing chaos, trying to get closer. Poor Obi-Wan!! How is he going to get his master out of this one? This is great and I'm looking forward to the next post! -----signature----- Twice in a Lifetime 7/31 http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16813029 A Quiet Afternoon http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23305946 follow up vig to: A New Order http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/17525231
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Itachi-Uchiha Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 8/4/07 12:37pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Loved the part about the Hutt! Something tells me that in a few years the boot may be on the other foot and Qui-Gon will be fighting off Obi's admirers. Very funny. -----signature----- Headstrong : http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27188681/p1/?5 Xanatos/Quinlan/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Dooku Updated December 17th! In Memoriam: Itachi Uchiha
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obsessedwithSW Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 8/4/07 2:49pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - two parter
	Hey Diane cant wait to read how Obi will handle it. -----signature----- Yes Darth Maul -bring sexy back! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW8kOYvwVng Avid SiriWaner ! Stories in Bio
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ratna Registered: Mar '07	Date Posted: 8/4/07 4:41pm Subject: RE: Attraction (Obi/Qui/OCs) - humor - now a three parter
	"now a three parter" the more the merrier. can't wait for our dear author to stand and deliver! -----signature----- Ou n'a tu pas tellement aime quelqu'un que tu avais peur de l'aimer au peur des souvenirs?
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