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Author	Topic: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Updated 12/19 COMPLETE!
VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 6/28/05 7:56am Subject: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Updated 12/19 COMPLETE! - Date Edited: 6/26 4:41pm (52 edits total) Edited By: VaderLVR64
	Title: Deep Into a Darkness Peering Author: VaderLVR64 Characters: Anakin, Padme Genre: AU, takes a sharp left turn about halfway through ROTS Timeframe: ROTS and beyond Summary: Anakin’s betrayal will have consequences that he could not anticipate. Notes: This is a result of watching the scene in Palpatine’s office when Anakin asks, “What have I done?” I wondered what might have happened if he had truly grasped the consequences of his actions at that point and not more than twenty years later. Traumatic events can utterly transform a person, especially if they can appreciate the lesson that almost always accompanies such experiences. What might have happened if Anakin had had such an epiphany? Basically, this is a "What if?" I must credit the wonderful Edgar Allen Poe for this title and thank Gina for helping me with the final selection. Gina was kind enough to do this lovely cover for me and I want to share. I must also express my immense gratitude to Alethia for beta reading this and to Gina who took a look at the initial idea and declared it do-able! Chapter 1: Empty and Forsaken “What have I done?” His own voice sounded strange to him. The strength left him and he fell back, his lightsaber slipping from his hand. Anakin stared out at the lights of Coruscant with disbelief. The wind howled through the broken window, chilling him. What had he done? He closed his eyes and tried to block out everything that had happened in this office. But the dying scream of a Jedi Master still echoed in his mind, mocking all the hopes he had once had for himself as a Jedi. Everything he had ever dreamed of being had vanished in the instant that he had turned his weapon on a fellow Jedi. From a distance, he heard Palpatine’s hissing whisper calling to him. Shocked, he realized that the Chancellor was praising him for his crime. With eyes that seemed newly opened and painfully raw, he looked at the man he had considered a friend, a mentor. And all around the hideous figure a chilling darkness swirled and waited. In the Force, Palpatine was nothing more than a cold void. Anakin knew that in this office his fate would be decided. He called his saber to him without thought. It seemed suddenly right in his hand, warm and comforting. The Force nudged him gently, telling him that he would make the right decision. Fulfill your destiny, the Force whispered to him, a disconcerting echo of Palpatine’s words. But the tender voice that spoke to him did not chill him as did the tones of the Chancellor. No, in the Force he found warmth and even forgiveness. It seemed that he could find mercy even now, even after what he had just done. In Palpatine’s eyes there was no mercy, they promised nothing but cold ambition. And power- he would have power. But at what price? If he joined Palpatine, he would lose Padme as surely as if she died. Worse, she would hate him and he would have to exist knowing that he had lost her through his own actions. She would despise what he had become and he would be alone – again. But there would be no love waiting to catch him if he fell this time. That he could not bear. He looked into the void and felt that an expectant hush had fallen over the Force itself. It seemed the whole galaxy waited for one young man to make his decision. The hungry darkness was a gaping maw ready to consume him. But the Light shone gently around the dark core that was Palpatine, a nimbus of hope. In that expectant stillness, Anakin truly heard the voice of the Force. It was not an instinctual reaction to an unfolding battle, or the insight that had served him so well in his confrontations with the enemy. For the first time he heard the will of the Force communicated to him as clearly as any of Obi-Wan’s lectures. But there was a purity to it, a breath-taking clarity in what he heard. And in that perfect state of attentiveness he could discern exactly what he was supposed to do. Anakin lifted up his saber, watching the Chancellor’s eyes. Palpatine expected his obedience, his vow of fealty. But though Anakin had ended his life as a Jedi with one stroke of his lightsaber, he would not damn his soul by giving it up to the darkness. There was still one small chance to salvage something meaningful from his pitiful existence. Before he could even think of what it would mean, before he could reflect that he might be condemning his wife and throwing away his only chance to claim the power he had always craved, he struck down the Dark Lord. Palpatine’s eyes grew wide with shock, but he fell without a single sound, folding upon himself and then softly to the floor. It was a decision borne of his impetuous nature, a choice spurred by his instincts. But it was right. This was how he answered the call of the Dark Side. It was then that Anakin Skywalker, disgraced Jedi and fallen hero, went to his knees. All hope of saving his beloved Padme was gone now. But would she have even thanked him for the gift of her life when it sprang from so unworthy a vessel? Despair not. The voice seemed to come from all around him, from every corner of the room, even from within him. “Padme will die now,” he whispered. “Only he could have saved her. And now I’ve killed her, too.” Do you think the Dark Side seeks to save lives, young one? The voice seemed to gently encourage him to question his own assumptions. There was no tone of judgment in the voice, no coldness, just…acceptance. “I…don’t know,” Anakin admitted. He felt as if he knew nothing any more. All the things upon which he had built his life had been swept away. He was left adrift, without anchor or moorings. Despair not, the voice repeated. Go to your wife. It will become apparent what you must do. Never had the voice of the Force been so clear. He came to his feet like a drunken man, unsteady and dazed. But he made his way to his vessel and climbed in without stumbling too badly. He never remembered the journey there, to the only home he had ever really known. It seemed only a moment and he was at Padme’s veranda and there she was - his sole saving grace. “Anakin!” She cried as she threw herself into his arms. “What’s wrong?” He could hardly bear to look at her, sure that his crime was clearly written on his face. “I’ve done something terrible,” he told her as he turned away. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t leave me! Those were the words he wanted to say, but he could not bring himself to speak them. He would not bind her to him with false promises. She would hear the truth and he would lose her. But he would not lie to her, not now with so many other sins on his heart. “What’s happened? Anakin, you’re scaring me!” Her voice had grown sharp, her brows brought together in the line he knew so well. He glanced at her from beneath his lashes, still unable to meet her eyes. The weight of his guilt bore down on him, a heavy lodestone around his neck. This was bleakness; he lived where hope did not. “I killed…” he shuddered, unable to go on. Her hand came up to caress his face. “Tell me, Anakin, no matter how bad it is.” Her voice had gone soft again, the gentle voice that was his alone. Gripping her by her arms, he did not even notice her grimace of pain. “Padme, what I have done is so horrible that…” Without words, she led him to a bench. It was here that they had spoken just nights ago about their hopes for their child. The joy of those moments tasted like ashes in his mouth now. A promise turned bitter by his own weakness. “I helped the Chancellor kill Master Windu,” he said in a dead voice. “I have betrayed the Jedi.” She recoiled from him, unable to stop her instinctive reaction. “No,” she shook her head vehemently. “You wouldn’t do that, Anakin. You couldn’t!” Her hands went protectively to her belly, as if to shield the child within from this horror that he had become. Her eyes met his and in them he saw a plea for denial. She wanted him to tell her that it was not true; she needed him to deny his crimes. But he could not. Then she looked deeply into his heart and she knew… Hand up to her mouth, she seemed unable to breathe. Then after a long moment of silence she gave a big, gulping breath as if pulling in all the air she had denied herself thus far. Her arms encircled her belly and she began to rock back and forth as if in great pain. A high, keening wail broke through the silence and it took him a moment to realize it was Padmé. Suddenly she came to her feet, her hand over her mouth. “I’m going to be sick,” she announced quite calmly. And then she simply bent over and vomited. Anakin lifted her up in his arms and carried her inside. His heart felt like an empty space inside of him, not just broken, but shattered into pieces so small that they had vaporized and disappeared into space. Gently, he wiped her face with a damp cloth, murmuring fervent apologies in an agonized voice. She opened her eyes and stared at him with haunted eyes. “Anakin,” she whispered. “How could you?” She did not understand how the hands that touched her with such tenderness could have committed so foul a deed. She had seen what he could be, and was now confronted by what he was. He turned away from her, unable to meet that accusing brown gaze. And it was then that Anakin Skywalker broke into shuddering sobs and haltingly revealed all that had happened. He told her of Palpatine’s promise to teach him the ways of the Dark Side so that he could save her and how he had exposed the Sith Lord’s identity to Master Windu. He spoke of rushing into the office and seeing Master Windu poised over Palpatine, his saber absorbing the lightning that flowed from the Sith. His voice broke painfully when he confessed his part in the murder of Master Windu, but it grew cold when he spoke of slaying the Sith Lord who had tried so diligently to turn him. “I had to see you one last time, Padmé,” he said miserably. “I had to tell you the truth before…” “Before what, Anakin?” Her voice seemed softer than it should be under the circumstances. His eyes flashed up to meets hers. “Before I leave,” he said quietly. “Leave where?” “I…I am a traitor, Padmé,” he said. “Even if I was not married, even if I had not broken the Code by loving you, I have betrayed the Order in the worst possible way.” He shook his head vehemently. “I should stay and face my punishment, but…” His head fell back and his eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t bear to think of Obi-Wan’s face when he hears. So I’ll banish myself from all that I love and care about and hope…” he swallowed hard. “It is not enough, but it’s a start. And I must hope that I can learn to live with what I have done.” Her small hand came to rest on his arm and he jumped at the gentle contact, his eyes seeking hers. She took his hand, his flesh and blood hand, and placed it on her belly. The child within leapt, a reminder that much more than their own two lives were hanging in the balance. “You cannot leave us, Anakin,” she told him. “We need you.” But already he was shaking his head. “I can’t stay, Padmé,” he said in a dead voice. “I may have destroyed the Sith, but I think I have also destroyed my soul in the process.” Anakin reached out and touched her cheek. “I might have restored balance to the Force with Palpatine’s death, I don’t know. But I do know that I am no longer worthy to be a Jedi.” “You don’t have to be a Jedi to be a father to our child, Anakin,” she said softly. “But I… You deserve someone better,” he said miserably. She pressed his hand more firmly against her belly. “Do you want me to raise our child alone, Anakin?” Her voice was a whisper that surrounded him. “Can you live without ever seeing your child’s face, knowing if you have a son or a daughter?” A swift and sudden protest rose to his lips. He stifled it, but she had sensed it. She gave him a triumphant smile. “You know you can’t let either of us go that easily, Anakin Skywalker.” She pulled him into the apartment. “Come, we have a lot to do if we are going to leave Coruscant.” Like an automaton he followed her, blindly obeying her instruction, empty and forsaken. -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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Sara_Kenobi Registered: Sep '00	Date Posted: 6/28/05 8:12am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Hey, this is really great. I'm interested to see Obi-Wan's reaction to what Anakin has done. I thought Padme wouldn't turn him away. Great story. -----signature----- Flight of Raven's http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction/b10808/30284518/p1/?0
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Alethia Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 6/28/05 8:17am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	You posted! Wonderful and fast... I loved it. Wonderful idea, wonderfully written and so glad to see it up. Um, let's see. The way the Force guides Anakin in this chapter is, well I find it interesting grins. He finally listens to it, not a moment too late, I might add, and because of that, wants to give everything up. Hmm... I also liked Padme's reaction. Poor Padme- to have worry about that on top of everything else- perhaps it really is a good thing that they are going away...at least they will finally have their chance at peace. -----signature----- Jen, High Scholar and Ponderer of all Things Verily Blue, and Official caller of Suz, Crusader of Heretics and Knight of the Blue 1000 Now sacrificing Movie Garfield
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Layren Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 6/28/05 8:20am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Oh wow Kimberley! I don't usually read A/P but you have captured my attention as always Great job! -----signature----- Proud Master to Ara-gon The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's) Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge I am Jinngerbread.
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Jazz_Skywalker Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 6/28/05 8:29am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Yay! A new VaderLVR64 story! I'm glad Padme just couldn't let him leave alone, no matter what he did. I can't wait to see Obi-Wan's reaction to all of this! Now you've got me eagerly awaiting next Tuesday! Uppies! jazz -----signature----- currently working on NaNo 2007 (won) 11/24: 50,000+!
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 6/28/05 8:31am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Wow, I like the twist. I like the guilt, Padme's very believable horror... -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 6/28/05 8:41am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Oh wowzers! All right!! You killed the old fart! Bloody dog deserved all he got specially after what he did... I am glad that Padme forgave him there at the end And talked him into staying with her. For the child (well munchkins) need to know who's their daddy. Sooo plus I think if he does stay with them it will help him recover from the psychological mayhem he juz went thru. WOW what a trauma... help kill a Jedi Master, a Councilor no less and then the Chancellor of the Republic who was also his friend and mentor above it all. Poor guy gotta feel for him. A pity Ep III didn't turn out like this! Awesome work m'Lady! You're juz proving yaself once more at how wonderful a writer you are -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Only thru fear, hatred, and pain will the true power of the Force be revealed. See stories/viggies in bio
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VadersMistress Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 6/28/05 9:04am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	So this is the story I've been hearing you vent about! Okay, it might be worth it. -----signature----- Harry Potter > Twilight Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Persia pwns your face.
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sdhfs Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 6/28/05 10:13am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	nice story -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16229314/?30 Up is obidala at it's best love chooses you you don 't choose it. Death is but death why are you afraid of it ?
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rhonderoo Title: Former Head Admin Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 6/28/05 10:34am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Oooh. I can't wait! This looks veeery promising! -----signature----- DT421 FYI: You don't deal with me. I deal with you. Damned right the Jedi's fire has gone out of the universe. I was the bad-ass Class C extinguisher who snuffed them. - @darthvader (Darth Vader on Twitter)
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Dally Registered: Apr '01	Date Posted: 6/28/05 10:41am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Wow, I like it. Very believable. I'm looking forward to more!
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Jedi_Liz Title: Former CR Lincoln NE, USA Registered: Apr '00	Date Posted: 6/28/05 11:15am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	looks VERRRRRRRRY interesting its on Active topic notification list now so I can try to keep up. -----signature----- Current Fic: Lightswords of Fury: Special Edition - L/M Romance http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/24270936/ Chapter 19 posted on 7/21/08 Coming SOON: Mara Jade of Chandrila Grove Coming SOON to SAGA Fanfic
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InLoveWithLordVader Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 6/28/05 11:16am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Wow! This is a an excellent premise. Please PM me when you update. This looks like it is going to be really good.
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ThePariah Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 6/28/05 11:35am Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Only VaderLVR could get me instantly addicted to a ROTS fic and make me relieved it's not a one-shot. -----signature----- Eternal Groveler to rhonderoo, VaderLVR64, Knight_Aragorn, Oba, & the SJRS crew Has a postcard from the Dark Side. "I suspect that most if not all the world's ills could be cured by humour transplants."--Karen Traviss TEMPORARY SET-UP!!!
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DarthPolymerase Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 6/28/05 12:22pm Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Amazing! I can't wait for more! -----signature----- Ethos:The Tale of the Daughter of the Dark Lord http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19842306/?5 "Anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness" -The Fountainhead
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LadyZ Registered: Jun '00	Date Posted: 6/28/05 1:20pm Subject: RE: Deep Into a Darkness Peering - ROTS AU, Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan
	Great idea! And you are such a fantastic author!!! I guess I'd join the show - I'll read! -----signature----- Proud member of Clarus' Club Sap One of Wrenga Jixton's Virtual Blondies 1. ROTS 2. AOTC 3. ESB 4. ANH 5. ROTJ 6. TPM Flash - Silence - TWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAANNNNNGGGGG
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