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Author	Topic: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available
lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 9/15/05 4:13pm Subject: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available - Date Edited: 9/16/05 2:53am (1 edits total) Edited By: lazykbys
	Note: There is an English translation for this. It's the 10th post of this thread, I think. Cheers. 7i713: I R0x0rz! 4u7h0r: 142yk8y5 7im3phr4m3: 7PM-407C Ch4r4c73rz: R2-D2, C-3PO, 37c. 93nr3: 1337 K3yw0rz: 5umm4ry: R2 741x 480u7 hiz 1337n355 LOL N073: In5pir3d 8y _\|4d35010'z p057 in teh "I D4r3 u" Ch4113n93 7hr34d. w00t! - 142y I R0x0rz! I kn3w, phr0m 7h3 m0m3n7 I phir57 h34rd hi5 pri55y v0ic3, 7h47 7hr33pi0 w45 4 c0mp1337 1053r. I m34n . . . h3'5 4 pr070c01 dr0id! 4nd 7h3 7hin9 480u7 7h053 7r4n51470r dr0id5 i5 7h47, n0 m4773r h0w m4ny 14n9u4935 7h3y h4v3 in 7h3ir m3m0ry 84nk5, 7h3y kn0w n07hin9. N07. 4. 7hin9. I 5upp053 I 5h0u1d cu7 7hr33pi0 4 1i7713 514x, 7h0u9h. I m33n, h3 w45 5cr4pp3d 70937h3r phr0m 5cr0un93d p4r7z 8y 4 nin3-y34r-01d. 4nd 7h3n 7h3y 484nd0n3d him ph0r 73n y34r5 0n 74700in3 wi7h 0n1y ph4rm3r5 4 c0mp4ny. I d0n'7 533 h0w h3 m4n493d 70 574y phunc7i0n41 7h47 10n9. 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I'm n07 5ur3 if i7 w45 8r4v3ry 0r 57upidi7y, 8u7 i7 h4d 70 c0un7 ph0r 50m37hin9. 50 0nc3 494in I ri5k3d my p147in9 8y 90in9 in70 7h3 7hix 0f 847713. N07 7h47 7hr33pi0 4ppr3ci473d my 3phf0r75. Hi5 phir57 w0rd5 70 m3 w3r3, "4r700, wh47 4r3 y0u d0in9 h3r3?" ph0110w3d 8y "570p 7h47!" 4nd "Y0u'r3 90in9 70 57r4in 50m37hin9!" Ru57y in9r473. I 5h0u1d h4v3 r3pr09r4mm3d him wh3n I h4d 7h3 ch4nc3. 4nd I h4d 4 107 0f 7h3m, wh47 wi7h 83c0min9 hi5 c0un73rp4r7 4nd 411. . . . 8u7 7h47'5 4 wh013 07h3r 570ry. -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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JadeSolo Title: NSF managing NSWFF Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 9/15/05 4:36pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) - Date Edited: 9/15/05 4:57pm (1 edits total) Edited By: JadeSolo
	Mine! lazy, you are officially a god. Of 1337. That was brilliant! posted: "Y0ur p4r75 4r3 5h0win9, d00d." _\|u57 wh3r3 did h3 7hink 1i7713 dr0id5 c4m3 phr0m? M4y83 h3 7h0u9h7 4 5p33d3r 8ik3 d31iv3r3d 7h3m. I w4n73d 70 74k3 him 45id3 4nd 3xp14in 70 him, in 9r347 d374i1, 7h3 ph4c75 0f dr0id pr0duc7i0n. 7h053 w3r3 my ph4v0ri73 1in35. Hi14ri05! Y0u 4r3 u83r-c001, d00d! -----signature----- "If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory." "May God bless you and keep you always...I mean that in a civic deist way." -Prof. Siegel "No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!"
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Kudzu Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 9/15/05 4:37pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic)
	The person who dared you was evil. I'm horrified that I could actually understand most of this. -----signature----- Super Golden Ewok™ Recipient It should be the right of every American to go out and get wasted the day they're told that they're being sent to war. Ron Paul for U.S. President 2008
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ladylaurel18 Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 9/15/05 4:58pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic)
	this is hilarious - Artoo Detoo in l33t! -----signature----- Twich’s Twisted Sisters Pacis, Iuris, Libertas, Obsidis Shadow of the Suns- http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/22714582/p1/?14
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Ladynaye Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 9/15/05 7:57pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic)
	HUH?!?! -----signature----- The Sith Code: Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me. I am a Dark Lady of the Sith
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Exeter Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/15/05 9:00pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic)
	I gotta agree with Kudzu on this one - it's a sad day when I understood this story. Nice work, lazy. -----signature----- "Are my eyes really that far apart? They make me look like Admiral Ackbar" - Tina Fey, 30 Rock "R2, I need you to turn the auto pilot off! Now! (He looks at the screen but nothing happens.) Worth a try." - John Sheppard, Stargate Atlantis
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Jedi Trace Title: • SouthEast RSA • Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 9/15/05 9:17pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) - Date Edited: 9/15/05 9:18pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedi Trace
	It's official - I'm old. takes vitamin while listening to LP albums on vinyl and talking on rotary-dial corded telephone What I understood of that was great, lazy! waits for english translation crap - the needle on my record player broke -----signature----- Captain of the Cade Brigade: "Always bringing up his rear" “In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.” ~ Elwood P. Dowd
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Antilles2001 Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 9/15/05 9:23pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic)
	Kudzu posted: The person who dared you was evil. I'm horrified that I could actually understand most of this. Ditto. -----signature----- I have defied gods and demons. I am your shield. I am your sword. I know you. Your past; your future. This is the way the world ends. Oly Oly Oxen Free - 2007
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Elana Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 9/15/05 9:27pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic)
	Oh goodness. I don't believe I was able to decipher that. But I'm glad I did - R2 is quite a character! What a fun story! -----signature----- "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." - James Baldwin The Slumbering Princess http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=23230496&brd=10475 My original fiction http://groups.yahoo.com/group/elanafic/
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lazykbys_left Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/16/05 2:46am Subject: RE:I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) [r3p1i3z 2 r33d3rz]
	First, I would like to thank - or maybe blame - the find & replace feature. Without it, this fic would have never been attempted. JadeSolo: Mine! points accusing finger That's right, she's the one responsible for this! Not me! 7h053 w3r3 my ph4v0ri73 1in35. Hi14ri05! Y0u 4r3 u83r-c001, d00d! Um, pardon? Could you repeat that in English, please? Or type . . . just . . . a little . . . slower . . . ? 7h4nx 4 r33din9! Kudzu: The person who dared you was evil. It wasn't a dare. I made a joke about daring someone to write in leet, and then JadeSolo said she'd love to read a leet fic, and then I started laughing a mad, evil villain laugh - I'm horrified that I could actually understand most of this. . . . actually, I would start worrying if you started to understand spoken leet. ladylaurel18: this is hilarious - Artoo Detoo in l33t! I don't know why, but I suddenly got the idea that everything Artoo says in the movies is leetspeak, and . . . this happened. Ladynaye: HUH?!?! Ah, I see from your emoticon that you are non-1337. Thank goodness for a normal reaction. Exeter: I gotta agree with Kudzu on this one - it's a sad day when I understood this story. Come on, surely leet isn't that bad. (Although if anyone mentions this fic outside this thread, I'm going to deny it ever happened, all right? ) Jedi Trace: It's official - I'm old. Yup. You gotta be at the emotional age of nine to understand leet. Neener neener neener. What I understood of that was great, lazy! Thank you! . . . um, which part is that? Antilles2001: (to Kudzu's post) Ditto. Ditto what I said to Kudzu. Elana: I don't believe I was able to decipher that. But I'm glad I did - R2 is quite a character! We know from the movies that Artoo has a bit of an attitude. And it fit in so well with the leet mentality (or so I thought, anyway). To everyone who actually read this monstrous piece, thank you for reading and forgive me, please! I didn't mean to make your eyes and brains hurt, honest! - lazy PS - oh yeah, I need to post the English version . . . -----signature----- "You're like some kind of link machine." - rhonderoo It didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done. DARK SIDE FHTAGN lazykbys fanfic index (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 9/16/05 2:50am Subject: RE:I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) [English version] - Date Edited: 9/16/05 4:34am (1 edits total) Edited By: lazykbys
	Aaaand here's the English "translation". runs and hides - lazy Title:I I R0x0rz! Author: lazykbys Timeframe: TPM-AotC Characters: R2-D2, C-3PO, etc. Genre: humor Keywords: Summary: Artoo talks about his 1337ness Notes:Inspired by JadeSolo's post in the "I Dare You" Challenge thread. w00t! I R0x0rz! I knew, from the moment I first heard his prissy voice, that Threepio was a complete loser. I mean . . . he's a protocol droid! And the thing about those translator droids is that, no matter how many languages they have in their memory banks, they know nothing. Not. A. Thing. I suppose I should cut Threepio a little slack, though. I mean, he was scrapped together from scrounged parts by a nine-year-old. And then they abandoned him for ten years on Tatooine with only farmers for company. I don't see how he managed to stay functional that long. I know I would have smuggled myself off that sandbox before the suns set. Then again, he isn't me - R2-D2, astromech extraordinaire. I can fix starfighters in the middle of a dogfight, calculate hyperdrive routes in a nanosecond, slice circles around security programs, and unlike Goldenrod, who can only walk like a human with serious chafing, I've got wheels and treads - and I can fly. Oh yeah, I also look so unbelievably cool in blue and white. Anyway. The first time I saw Threepio was a while before the Battle of Naboo. In which I was instrumental in bringing down that droid control ship, by the way. The kid Anakin might have been at the controls, but he had no idea what he was doing. He was just pushing buttons that "looked right", for crying out loud! I tell you, he was worse than a clueless noob. But I made sure he didn't get vaped. And I turned him into a hero, too. But this isn't his story. It's mine. Sorry about the digression, but you get these little footnotes in awesome stories like that of yours truly. Besides, a little historical knowledge can't hurt. And believe me, I made lots of history. For example, I'm the one who stayed at his post to keep the Naboo Queen's ship from falling apart. Not the Battle of Naboo. This is a different battle. There were laser bolts as thick as buzz beetles, and my buddies were being shot off one by one. I wasn't scared, though. I was an astromech and I had a job to do. And I did it pretty darn well, if I say so myself. The only thing I did wrong was not making sure everyone else did a competent job. That's why the hyperdrive generator died out on us. But I couldn't be everywhere at once, you know? I was getting a full-body hand-rub by Padmé. She's cute for an organic. And her fingers could reach all those hard-to-get places. I was surprised when I found out she was actually the Queen, but not as much as the others. I knew that she had to be special with fingers like that. So when she and a couple other guys went to Mos Espa for the parts, I went with them to guard her back. That's how I met Threepio, by the way. Anakin - the kid I told you about, remember? - invited us over to his house. Then he took Padmé to his room to show off his droid he was making. Threepio wasn't much to look at. Some of the parts looked like they'd been around since pre-Republic days. He didn't have his plating in place, either, which might have helped if he was sexier. But - well, let me put it to you this way: being a biped is perfectly all right for an organic. They evolved that way, after all. But there's really no excuse for a droid, a manufactured mechanical, to have a less-than-optimal design. "How do you do," Threepio said when Anakin turned him on. "I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. How might I serve you?" "He's perfect," Padmé said with a smile. What can I say, the babe had a heart of gold. Anakin continued to blabber, "When the storm is over, you can see my racer. I'm building a podracer!" I tried to imagine just what kind of junk heap the kid was making. What I'd seen of his work so far was not inspiring. "I hope he's into functionality," I said to Threepio. "Aesthetics clearly isn't his strong point." I paused as an ugly thought erupted from my circuits. "Or does he like having you naked?" "I beg your pardon," he said in a puzzled, prissy voice. "What do you mean I'm naked?" If I had eyes, I would have rolled them. "Your parts are showing, dude." "My parts are showing? Oh, my goodness. How embarrassing!" Damn right he was. I mean, he made me embarrassed just being next to him! If I'd known then that he would wind up as my counterpart, I would have jumped into a blast furnace the first chance I got. But aside from giving unwanted advice when I was painting Anakin's podracer, he showed no signs of wanting to leave the planet. In fact, you know what he said to me when I told him about my adventures? He said, "Oh my! Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me onto one of those dreadful starships!" What a wimp, huh? Man, was I ever so glad to get away from that loser. The next ten years were boring but good. Aside from the battle against the Trade Federation Fleet, nothing exciting happened. Most of those years were spent making sure Padmé's ships were all right. The rest of the time, I hanged out with her family. Her nieces were a bit noisy, but they knew a good thing - that is, me - when they saw it. Playing with little kids isn't in my programming, but we got along just fine. Like I said, those ten years went by without a hitch. I remember complaining about it to a co-worker droid. I said to him, "You know, I could use a bit of adventure once in a while. Just to keep in practice." Lucky for him, he didn't repeat that pre-hyperdrive saying about being careful what you wish for. If he had, I would have welded all his access plates shut. After I tossed a thermal detonator inside. Anyway, it was too late. I couldn't unsay what I just said, and the Maker must have heard me. Because a short while later, there were two assassination attempts on Padmé. The first one I should have prevented. It was just a matter of giving the ship a complete check, you know? But all those years of nothing happening had rusted my danger sense, and it was only due to Padmé's switcheroo trick that she wasn't blown to pieces. And I should have seen the second one coming, too. Hells, I was on guard when it happened! But I wasn't expecting bugs. I tell you, I was at an all time low. Things got worse before they got better, too. Anakin suddenly decided he had to go to Tatooine. I don't know why - maybe he got homesick or something. That happens to organics sometimes. But when we got there, it was too late to keep his mother from dying. That happens, too, with organics. I didn't find out about this right away, though. Padmé told me to stay with the ship, so that's where I was. It was a good thing I was, because otherwise we would have missed Obi-Wan's message. It was pretty messed up, being bounced off a planet or something. Not that I found it hard to slice. It's one of my many areas of expertise, after all. After seeing the message, I knew there was only one way this could turn out. We were going to rescue Obi-Wan. To this day I'm not sure why Threepio came with us. He didn't belong to any of us, you know? And he wasn't even excited about it! "Worried, pal?" I asked. "I am not worried," he lied. "It's just that I've never flown before." Whatever. Anyway, we went to Geonosis. Padmé was in charge and Anakin wasn't going to argue. But they left without telling us what to do, which meant one thing: they trusted us to use our initiative. Threepio didn't agree with me, though. "My obtuse little friend," he said, earning himself a whipping later on, "if they had needed our help, they would have asked for it. You obviously have a great deal to learn about human behavior." "You know what?" I retorted. "I think you're just scared." Threepio went all stiff - okay, stiffer - at my words. "For a mechanic, you seem to do an excessive amount of thinking." "Better than not thinking at all. Do you have a data processing unit or don't you?" "I am programmed to understand humans!" "Oh, you are? And what does that mean?" "'What does that mean?' That means I am in charge here!" Yeah, right. Of course he was. I decided arguing with him was a waste of time and headed out. "Where are you going now?" he asked. As if it wasn't perfectly obvious. "You don't know what's out there. Have you no sense at all?" Sure. I had a sense of duty. I was going to protect Padmé, and I wasn't going to do it from inside the ship. I ignored his shouted insults and went into the Geonosian hive. Inside there was a droid factory. I wasn't impressed by it - when you see one, you've seen them all. But Threepio . . . well, I suppose it was the first one he'd seen. "Oh my goodness!" he said. "Machines making machines? How perverse." Just where did he think little droids came from? Maybe he thought a speeder bike delivered them. I wanted to take him aside and explain to him, in great detail, the facts of droid production. But I already saw that Padmé was in trouble, so I just pushed Threepio aside and flew to the nearest access terminal. And it was a good thing I did, or else she would have been deep-fried in molten durasteel. Too bad I couldn't keep her from getting caught. But there's only so much one astromech can do - even if he's me. And what was Threepio doing all this time? He got his head knocked off and blundered his way into the battle droid assembly line. Not only that, he soon wound up shooting at Padmé and the others in the arena! I mean - tell me, please, how a droid could have so little control over his parts like that? It was very tempting to leave him there, so he could be blown apart or cut down by a lightsaber. But still, he had come with me from the ship when he didn't have to. I'm not sure if it was bravery or stupidity, but it had to count for something. So once again I risked my plating by going into the thick of battle. Not that Threepio appreciated my efforts. His first words to me were, "Artoo, what are you doing here?" followed by "Stop that!" and "You're going to strain something!" Rusty ingrate. I should have reprogrammed him when I had the chance. And I had a lot of them, what with becoming his counterpart and all. . . . but that's a whole other story. -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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DarthBreezy Title: Retired Mos Everett Cantina Founder & JMPR Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 9/16/05 7:11am Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available
	OK, Now that I can understand this Brillaint, and very true to how I would see R2 -----signature----- Although the singer is silent, There is still the truth of the song. http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28747916/p1/ Sailing little Boats - with GoldenJedi Anywhere is possible.
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 9/16/05 9:08am Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available
	This was adorable. Good thing you translated and also said in your first post that it was or I would have missed it. Great job with the R2 perspective and it fit right in with the movies! Bravo -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 6/28/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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Lovely-in-Orange Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 9/16/05 10:19pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available
	Both that you did it in 1337 and the story itself are very funny. R2's attitude is great. I'm impressed with myself that I actually understood most of it without having to scroll down. -----signature----- Ties of Loyalty: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/23926858/ - Imperials/OCs/Quinlan/Khaleen A Boy and His Droids: http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=20555406 Proud master to Rogue_Pilot_2347! 1st Runner-up - Ms. Star Wars 2007
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lazykbys_left Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/19/05 3:36pm Subject: RE:I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) [replies to readers]
	First, on Artoo's depiction in this fic - DarthBreezy: very true to how I would see R2 dianethx: Great job with the R2 perspective and it fit right in with the movies! Lovely-in-Orange: R2's attitude is great. Actually, I was worried he was too OOC. I was going to rationalize it by saying this is meant to be a humorous piece. scratches head in bewilderment DarthBreezy: OK, Now that I can understand this You can? What did I do wro . . . hold on, I posted the English version, didn't I. dianethx: Good thing you translated and also said in your first post that it was or I would have missed it. That was JadeSolo's idea. Lovely-in-Orange: Both that you did it in 1337 and the story itself are very funny. takes a bow I'm impressed with myself that I actually understood most of it without having to scroll down. You did? Um . . . wow. Thank you for reading, everyone - and thank you even more for not replying in pure 1337. I had nightmares about that happening. - lazy -----signature----- "You're like some kind of link machine." - rhonderoo It didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done. DARK SIDE FHTAGN lazykbys fanfic index (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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Idrelle_Miocovani Title: Solar Power loving Scattergories Hostess Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/19/05 3:39pm Subject: RE: I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available
	Wow, lazy! Jade challenged you for this one? It's pure evil! Hehehehe. I couldn't understand most of it the first time through, thanks for the english version! Hehehe! It was great! -----signature----- It takes an awfully long time to not write a book. "We're actors! We're the opposite of people!" Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead This Time Around (time travel, RotS AU): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27062943/p1/?2 Padawan of DarthIshtar
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