Author Topic: Imperturbable Serenity - Qui/Yoda/Dooku/OCs, chapter 3 11/5
Arwyn_Whitesun  2070 posts
Registered: Jul '02
39835_Anakin and Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 10/16/04 2:15pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, interlude 10/15
Wonderful! A story about baby Qui! How sweet! love And I'm also enjoying your OCs. Personally I love reading about OCs in fanfics. Its like discovering a whole new class of Star Wars characters. Looking forward to more of this.

 

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In Love and War - - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20250548/?0
Obi-Wan AU Clone Wars Fic
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Layren  8403 posts
Registered: Oct '03
44311_Qui-Gon & Anakin
Date Posted: 10/16/04 4:14pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, interlude 10/15
Awwwwww so cute! Sorry I didn't get to post on this before now! Excellent job -- baby Qui-Gon is so adorable when he's splashing and being silly.

 

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Proud Master to Ara-gon
The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's)
Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge
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AthenaLeigh  386 posts
Registered: Aug '04
6019_Qui-Gon Jinn
Date Posted: 10/17/04 9:56pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, interlude 10/15
Kynstar Welcome. wink Just a cute moment.

Mistress_Renata blush Why thank you. I'm glad they're coming across. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm moving too quickly, or that they're just boring. Good to know they're coming across, as we'll be seeing lots more of them!

Charmisjess Haha, thank you so much. grin Yes, I know, it's a tossup myself between my favorite OCs and little bitty Qui-Qui. Oh yes! Rani will be here soon, so soon, precious, not soon enough! happy

Jedi_Knight_Darkarna Thank you, lol, more soon.

Arwyn_Whitesun Thank you. happy Yes, I've found good OCs can add such an individual charm to a story and just make it seem so fresh. Glad you like mine.

Layren That's ok, whenever you get round to it. happy Thanks, I know, he is so adorable! What a sweetie! *pinches his cheek* grin

 

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Master to jedi_artorius
Imperturbable Serenity
http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/17159240/
"Hey, you monkeys are smarter than I thought!"
sad "I smile because it hurts too much to frown." happy
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AthenaLeigh  386 posts
Registered: Aug '04
6019_Qui-Gon Jinn
Date Posted: 10/18/04 8:57am Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, interlude 10/15 - Date Edited: 10/18/04 8:58am (1 edits total) Edited By: AthenaLeigh
ok, more, yay. Ok, so it's only a third of the chapter, but it's basically the only cliffhanger I have so I had to take advantage of that. wink But we won't have to wait the whole week for the rest, and it'll be well worth the wait. After this, full chapters only, I promise. If anybody recognizes/remembers Lorn from Bubbles, this is what he is originally from.


Chapter 2 - Wild Wind

Eladh carried a Twi'lek and an Iktotchi in each arm as he passed Qui-Gon sitting near some other younglings. He appeared to be trying to speak with them, and it encouraged Eladh to see him reaching out. The creche master continued on.

"Hi, I'm Qui-Gon." The young one tried to introduce himself to the group. The boys looked at him but did not speak. Qui-Gon felt uncomfortable at first, but they did not seem hostile. "Can I play?" he tried.

"This game's full," the biggest boy said. "Why don't you go try somewhere else?"

Peering over a shoulder as best he could, Qui-Gon did not understand why there was not room. They were only playing with some toys. "You aren't full. I want to join."

The boy who had spoken stood up and turned to Qui-Gon. "I said there's no room. Go away."

Knowing the boy was not about to change his mind, Qui-Gon avoided arguing and sulked away. It would be another day of playing by himself, as it always was. He had already tried to play with the others, but no one wanted him, and he knew why. He had heard Eladh talking about him to someone else. Qui-Gon was different. He did not know how he was different or why it made no one like him, but he was.

He started crying, though he was too young to understand the emotions he felt. His little hands rubbed at the wetness as he walked, keeping as far from everyone as they would from him. Without even thinking, his legs took him to his favorite place in the Temple at the top of the waterfall. He could look down on everyone, but they were not likely to see him. However, that was not why he liked it. Here he could be alone but by his choice. He liked watching the water flow and hearing it splash, and the green grass was soft. Sometimes he fell asleep here.

Today he just wanted to be alone to cry.

Unfortunately, today was not his day to get his way.

He sat with his feet dangling in the clear stream when the three older boys he had just spoken to crept behind him.

"Hey, little babies aren't allowed up here."

Qui-Gon tried to jump up when he heard the taunt, but they grabbed him. He struggled and began crying out, and they laughed. They tossed him between each other, pushing him back and forth as he stumbled to keep his feet. With an extra rough shove, he tripped and fell hard. The boys circled him, calling him names and telling him he was not normal.

Qui-Gon covered his ears. "Leave me alone!" He stood and tried to dash through the ring, half-crashing into Lorn, the oldest. Lorn shoved him again, then Ret'm. Qui-Gon shuffled a few more steps. He was near the edge of the fall now, and turned to see all three boys approaching him. There was nowhere to go.

Lorn stood right in front of him, menacing and glaring. "We don't like you, and we don't want you around, little baby!" On the last word, he pushed Qui-Gon. He lost his balance and tried to steady himself, but there were bumpy rocks under his feet and he fell.

 

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Master to jedi_artorius
Imperturbable Serenity
http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/17159240/
"Hey, you monkeys are smarter than I thought!"
sad "I smile because it hurts too much to frown." happy
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dianethx  14887 posts
Registered: Mar '02
Date Posted: 10/18/04 9:20am Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
Poor kid. All alone and kids are picking on him. The creche masters should know better than to let it get this far. Good job with the young ones!

Keep going.

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/09
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Kynstar  9190 posts
Registered: Mar '04
14562_Count Dooku
Date Posted: 10/18/04 9:55am Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
Poor Qui! sad Funny how kids (regardless of where or when) do stuff like that. How typical of the rugrats to pick on ones little than they are.

Poor kid... hope there's something soft at the bottom...

(yep I remember the brat from the bubbles fic... I truly hope he gets it socked to him some way some how in the future! hehehe)

Great chappie once more! grin

 

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Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
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AnakinsHeir  905 posts
Registered: May '04
24206_Anakin
Date Posted: 10/18/04 12:10pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
I missed an update! Oh no! What a wonderful story, you've done a great job of making a young Qui-Gon believable. Having a great time reading this one!

 

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Layren  8403 posts
Registered: Oct '03
44311_Qui-Gon & Anakin
Date Posted: 10/18/04 3:07pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
Awwwwww poor Qui-Gon hugs Lorn is such a bully -- poor little kid. I hope Dooku finds out..

 

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Proud Master to Ara-gon
The Triad Chronicles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177 (OC's)
Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0 2008 Dear Diary Challenge
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Charmisjess  611 posts
Registered: Jul '03
14787_Coruscant
Date Posted: 10/18/04 5:42pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
*jess pauses mid-holding-brat-up-by-ankle-over-waterfall-and-shaking-him*


Um, what? batting

OOOOOOOOOH! Athena, I'm afraid for the day when you decide to make a full grown baddie like Conn or Kirill, cos you do 'good' evil baddies, if that makes sense. LOL *high-fives* But no, no, poor Qui!!! Rani!! do something!!! My poor babe! Another splendid part. Ohhhh, dear goodness I love this fic!! Write more soon now yes... *flops off*

 

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Strange Little Girls-> http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24496675/p1/?0
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Jedi_Knight_Darkarna  227 posts
Registered: Jan '04
24180_Obi-Wan Art
Date Posted: 10/18/04 11:16pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
Awwww its a really cruel cliffhanger because I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!AHHHHH! Great stuff grin

 

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AthenaLeigh  386 posts
Registered: Aug '04
6019_Qui-Gon Jinn
Date Posted: 10/20/04 11:18am Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
Thanks, diane. grin Don't worry, Eladh is on the case, heehee. Oh I'm going, never fear.

But you already know what happens, doncha, Kyn? Well just wait until Qui-Gon is a powerful, respected Master and they're all in the Agricorps. wink Thanks for reading, and Lorn's time will come.

AnakinsHeir Don't worry, it wasn't anything important, and you didn't really miss it if it's still there. grin Thank you, I'm glad it's believable. Glad you're enjoying it, just wait for the next post.

Heehee, thanks, Laurie. Haha, no this isn't Bubbles. wink But I think Qui-Gon will be all right.

No, Jess! That's one of my characters! I need him for future angst and stuff. Just unhand the cretin, and I'll take care of him. wink Haha, yes, I look forward to that day. *evil cackle* Oh yes, best part coming up. grin Thanks for reading!

Don't worry, Darkarna! It will be here soon! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy what happens next.

 

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Master to jedi_artorius
Imperturbable Serenity
http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/17159240/
"Hey, you monkeys are smarter than I thought!"
sad "I smile because it hurts too much to frown." happy
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AthenaLeigh  386 posts
Registered: Aug '04
6019_Qui-Gon Jinn
Date Posted: 10/21/04 6:14pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, part of chapter 2 10/18
ok, rest of chapter, I just couldn't wait until tomorrow. grin This is where, I feel, it gets interesting. happy


Chapter 2 cont.

"My dear girl," Heito said as he embraced Kalaya. After months of championing her as his replacement, Kalaya had finally been approved as the new Council member, and her old Master had never been more proud.

Master Yoda was also pleased that the controversial decision had been settled. Ironic coming from him, but many long years had showed him that experience and wisdom did not come from age alone.

Atash Ora was present at the celebratory gathering only because she was a member of the Council. She was not at all satisfied with the final decision, but her voice alone was not enough to change it, nor was her foul mood enough to ruin the jovial air of the party.

Another who was there against his will was the young Joran Dooku. Master Yoda had dragged him to the gathering, forcing him to endure the endless pleasantries of the adults. He would much rather have been on a mission with the little Master. Any mission would have been better than wasting time around the Temple.

However, unlike Atash, Joran was not resentful of Knight Segun. Rather he admired her. She had achieved a high position soon after being released from the bonds of apprenticeship. He aspired to similar successes. Yoda was always admonishing him about concentrating on selfish goals, but Joran would say he simply wanted a greater opportunity to help others and keep peace. Personal gain was not his desire.

Kalaya herself was pleased. She looked forward to her life as Councilor and her future as a Knight and maybe a Master too. Those of her friends that were currently at the Temple had thrown her this party in honor of her new position. She went to each of them to thank them for their support, as well as the rest of her guests, even Atash Ora.

"Thank you for coming, Master Ora," she said with all sincerity.

"You should know I am yet opposed to this decision," the ever-pleasant woman remarked.

"I do. I am all the more honored that you are here."

Atash became all the more displeased by Kalaya's politeness. "Do not think this is over, Knight Segun. I will see your seat filled by a more worthy occupant."

"Perhaps a duel will settle it," Kalaya's friend Drugax interjected as he came to stand at her side. Drugax was known to be an excellent fighter and could easily best most of the Temple.

"Yes, a tag team perhaps, with you on my side?" Kalaya chuckled.

"Naturally," Drugax replied.

Their jesting only further enraged Ora. "We shall see who comes out on top, young lady. You will learn your place." Then without so much as a "Good day," she fumed from the festivities.

"Good riddance," Drugax said in his light tone. "Learn your place, indeed. She should learn her manners. To speak to you like that at your own party." He crossed his arms angrily and huffed at her cheekiness.

Kalaya placed a hand on his shoulder. "Easy, Drugax. She's free to her opinion. She doesn't like me, and we aren't about to change that. It doesn't hurt me, and I do not fear her."

Drugax shrugged. "She is just so arrogant!"

"Well, she's gone, so let us enjoy ourselves! Come on, I have some questions to ask my old Master." She pulled Drugax across the room away from the site of the confrontation.

Heito was more than happy to help his former Padawan learn her new role. It almost felt like they were a bonded team again. However, it was time for him to step down. Heito would not be on active duty any more, no more missions for him, just as he would no longer lend his voice to the Jedi Council. He would probably tend to the archives, and of course he was available for advice as it was needed. His time was passed, but he was ecstatic to see young Jedi such as his Kalaya stepping up and filling his shoes.

******

Qui-Gon tried to scream but no breath was in his lungs. It seemed to all be rushing past him. All was a blur, and a pounding was in his ears.

He stopped falling. Someone had caught him. Opening his clenched eyes, he saw another boy, bigger than he, holding him, but they were not on the ground. They were sailing through the air.

The boy, whom Qui-Gon had not seen before, smiled at the frightened youngling. "Hi, uh-" he started to speak but was interrupted as they collided with the ground. Qui-Gon rolled around on impact, and the other was tossed over his head. He seemed uninjured; in just a moment he stood up laughing and brushed himself off.

"Are you all right?" he asked Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon stood and nodded meagerly. He was more interested in his rescuer. Most interesting were his delicate white wings.

The boy noticed Qui-Gon staring and chuckled, flapping his wings to snap him out of it.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"Um... Qui-Gon," he stuttered out, but he could find no more words. "Uh...."

"You want to touch my wings?" Qui-Gon nodded more emphatically this time. "I'm Raniwasha, by the way, but you can call me Ran, or Rani."

Raniwasha was from Donit, a satellite world of Iego. The wings of his people only added to the legends of angels there. His skin was brown and his eyes matched. He was three years older than Qui-Gon. His wings, which grew from his back along the spine, were at present pure white. He still had his baby feathers. As he grew, they would fall out to be replaced by dark blue ones.

Qui-Gon was trying to get behind him to look at his wings, but Rani kept turning away. "Hold still!" Qui-Gon shouted.

Rani giggled and turned to face his pouting friend. "I don't like people to stand behind me. I never know what they want to do to my wings."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to touch one."

"I trust you," Rani said. "I just don't like it is all." He lifted his wings and brought them forward so Qui-Gon could reach.

"They're so soft," he smiled.

"Thanks."

"So you can fly?"

"Actually they're for gliding, but Eladh said I shouldn't be yet. They aren't strong enough yet. That's why the landing wasn't so, uh, smooth." He blushed faintly. "But when I saw those boys follow you, I knew they were looking for trouble, so I followed too. When I saw Lorn push you, I knew you'd fall, so I caught you."

"Thanks." Now it was Qui-Gon's turn to redden. "They're always mean to me. I just wanted to play."

"Well, you can come play with us." Suddenly Rani smirked. With a quick motion, he blew a strong breeze at Qui-Gon.

"Ahh!" Qui-Gon cried as the wind buffeted him.

Rani laughed and ran off, Qui-Gon on his tail. He chased him all about until Rani ran into a corner behind some trees.

Following him, Qui-Gon saw another boy and two girls under the cover. The trees were why he had not noticed them before.

"Hey, Ran, where you been?" one of the girls asked.

"Oh, I was just out making a new friend." He pulled Qui-Gon over in front of him as if presenting him. "This is Qui-Gon."

The two girls pleasantly greeted him and introduced themselves, but the boy stood up.

"I hope you don't expect me to play with that," he said, ignorant of the hurt that crossed Qui-Gon's face.

"I don't expect you to do anything, Crage."

"Well, I won't! And if you do, then I'm not playing with you either!"

"Fine," Raniwasha answered calmly.

"Fine!" Crage screamed and stormed off.

"I'm sorry about him, Qui-Gon. I thought he was better than that," Rani apologized. "We still want you."

"Yeah! Come on," the girls agreed.

So Qui-Gon had made three new friends and had a great day. They taught him many new games and had lots of laughs, and by the end of the day they were all very tired.

Eladh had rounded up all but four of the younglings. Fortunately, he knew where Rani's hidden playspot was, but he wondered where Qui-Gon might have been. When he reached the area, he was not so surprised at the sight he came upon. The four children were asleep. Next to Rani lay Qui-Gon wrapped snuggly in his new friend's wings. He should have known Rani would befriend the new one; he was a very caring child. It would be a shame to wake them. Eladh decided to let them have a few more moments.

 

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Master to jedi_artorius
Imperturbable Serenity
http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/17159240/
"Hey, you monkeys are smarter than I thought!"
sad "I smile because it hurts too much to frown." happy
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Kynstar  9190 posts
Registered: Mar '04
14562_Count Dooku
Date Posted: 10/21/04 6:35pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, rest of chapter 2 10/21
hehehe ahhh lil Dooku wink well somewhat *snrk* not that lil of course hehehehe grin

I remember this part wink being caught by Rani. He is soooo cool! Glad Qui has made a few friends grin Good to see!

Thanks for posting early! hugs

 

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Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police
Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
Only thru fear, hatred, and pain will the true power of the Force be revealed.
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Arwyn_Whitesun  2070 posts
Registered: Jul '02
39835_Anakin and Obi-Wan
Date Posted: 10/21/04 7:51pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, rest of chapter 2 10/21
This is a really wonderful story and I'm enjoying it so much! Your characters are so vibrant and little Qui-Gon is just too cute!! grin

 

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In Love and War - - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20250548/?0
Obi-Wan AU Clone Wars Fic
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Charmisjess  611 posts
Registered: Jul '03
14787_Coruscant
Date Posted: 10/21/04 8:12pm Subject: RE: Imperturbable Serenity - little Qui, Yoda/Dooku, OCs, rest of chapter 2 10/21
RANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't he just the coolest ever?!! I think he's my favorite OC. Just so original, and nice, but not like you-hate-them nice, just genuine, and so very cute, his wings!!! I love this chapter, was beautifully written, especially the exchange between Qui and Rani, when they first meet, and he wants to touch the wings--*warm happy feelings* grin is so lovely, Athena, such pretty, lovely writing you have done!!!!! more!! soon! please? happy happy happy

 

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Strange Little Girls-> http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24496675/p1/?0
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