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Author	Topic: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) note from the author 4/9
Princess_Arulmozhi Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 6/2/05 9:09pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU)
	<echoes what everyone has said> - Intriguing start, may . The picture you've painted of Qui and his wife is perfect. And you've described them so very well. Can't wait to see where you take this...<jumps up and down> -----signature----- Perceptions (Xanatos/Obi/Qui/Anakin) AU:http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25276178/p1/?7 - vignette Stones (Li'l Obi/Qui) - http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/23371821/p1/ Best Author, WFFA (BtS) 05/06 Lore-Master to 7
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sheleigh Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 6/2/05 9:24pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) - Date Edited: 6/2/05 9:38pm (1 edits total) Edited By: sheleigh
	Wonderful and intriguing start, May. Julune is quite the character, and I'm sure she will develop as this wonderful piece evolves. I love your Qui-Gon, especially the description of his diplomatic tendencies. I adore the writing, and... well everything. Excellent! sheleigh -----signature----- And In Conclusion... http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20582878/ Vader: The Force is strong with you.... Luke: Oh yeah? How strong... Vader: Uh... as strong as a small pony... - Eddie Izzard's Dressed to Kill
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Gkilkenny Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 6/3/05 2:37am Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU)
	Qui-Gon on a different path this should be interesting Good start I will make a coffee and wait -----signature----- Proud Padawan to p_stotts Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear. Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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jodiwent Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 6/3/05 2:48am Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU)
	As always awsum. Love the idea, but mostly I like how you write all of your stories. Now to the real question, just what is Xani doing with Obi? Will Qui come to the rescue? I can't wait to find out -----signature----- Links to FICS in Bio on botom of profile http://boards.theforce.net/ASP/user.asp?usr=238155
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Qui-Gina-Jinn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 6/3/05 3:22am Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU)
	It's kinda strange, seeing Qui-Gon not as a Jedi.. I really liked this - can't wait to read more! -----signature----- Dark Lady of the DLC Fan Force Denmark I was there - FFEurope Meeting Stockholm 2005, Celebration Europe 2007, JediCon 2008, FFE Meeting Copenhagen 2009 Not to worry - we are still flying half a ship! http://swawakening.proboards.com/index.cgi
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maychorian Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 6/3/05 10:47am Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU)
	LuvEwan Thank you! We'll see if I can keep it interesting and original. Shaindl I'm glad you're doing something different - looks like this could be really interesting! I'm honored that you're reading! What I meant by not being sure how far this will go is that I'm thinking it could turn into a loooong epic. I'm having ideas for movie-era stuff, for instance, and this is starting JA. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for the encouragement! VadersMistress Can't wait to see where you take this. Oh, the possibilities. ::moan:: I'm still working a lot of it out. Musing I've got a new place to lurk, thanks to you. Welcome! Hope you have fun. Kynstar Becareful out there! Will miss talking with ya! Thanks! I'll miss you guys, too. River_Stone (Hint: hugs) LOL! Patience, my dear River. They will come. You can always count on fluff in my stories. Sometimes it just takes a while. Artanis And could it be that Obi-Wan is Xanatos' apprentice? Could be. I'm glad you like Julune! Kylie_Jinn I like the idea of Qui-Gon trying to find other work, but never managing to settle down. Yep. Like the summary says, things have gone a bit awry . . . Thanks for reading! shanobi Great start, and looks like you've got all my fave characters plus some originals. I'm still deciding what to do with a couple of them. I'm excited to have you reading this! You were one of my first fanfic favorites. Kadi I wonder if Obi-Wan is his apprentice or a unchosen initiate. The title seems to point to the later. Very astute of you. Thanks for reading! Layren I remember you telling me about this one. LOL! I remember you whining that you didn't like Julune, because YOU wanted to be married to Qui-Gon! Thanks for reading! AnakinsHeir Thanks! Yep, it'll be interesting. meg_an2006 Thank you! And welcome to the boards! Darth_Luinel_Kun How long do you think it will be? How much more will you add? Well, that's the question of the hour. It could be a relatively short novella, or it could be a multi-part epic. I have sooo many ideas. Thanks for reading! dianethx I loved that Qui-Gon hadn't settled down into any one thing - must have been hard for one of his Living Force touch. Yeah, that seemed most logical to me. I just can't envision Qui-Gon as anything but a Jedi. So it will be interesting to see where this ends up. Princess_Arulmozhi The picture you've painted of Qui and his wife is perfect. And you've described them so very well. Thanks! I'm always a bit nervous writing OCs. And this one has quite a large role, too. But she seems to be fitting in all right. We'll see how it goes. sheleigh I love your Qui-Gon, especially the description of his diplomatic tendencies. Thanks! It seemed natural to me that he would keep his talent for that, though it isn't honed quite the same as it would be if he were Jedi. We'll see how it goes. Gkilkenny Thanks! Yep, it's turning out pretty interesting so far. jodiwent Now to the real question, just what is Xani doing with Obi? Will Qui come to the rescue? Good question! I haven't decided, not fully. But some answers are coming right up. Qui-Gina-Jinn It's kinda strange, seeing Qui-Gon not as a Jedi.. I agree. It's really hard to envision him as anything but a Jedi Master. I keep having to to remind myself that he doesn't have a lightsaber. Haven't decided yet what to do about that. Well, everyone, thanks for the wonderful reviews! Wow, that's a lot. I'm gratified by your interest. My great-grandpa died last night, and my family is heading to Illinois for the funeral tomorrow morning. The burial will be in Kansas on Monday, and then I'll be back to Illinois to counsel at that girls' camp. So I'll be gone for quite a long time. On the plus side, here's Chapter 2, two days early! Hope you enjoy it. Chapter 3 won't be up until the thirteenth though, which is too bad. Because you're gonna love it. Thanks for reading! -----signature----- Kynstar's former Padawan The Unchosen: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20049795/p1/ updated 2/16 When the darkness falls early, and the light hits the ground, there's a moment to be captured . . .
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maychorian Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 6/3/05 10:49am Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU)
	Chapter 2: Cast Away At first Qui-Gon thought he was looking at a Master-Padawan team, but then he noticed that the boy didn’t have a braid. He was still an initiate. Also, the older Jedi didn’t have the look of Master about him—Qui-Gon felt no sense of protectiveness for the boy, no affection or pride, as he imagined all Masters had for their apprentices, as Dooku had had for him even though Qui-Gon was not a Jedi. From the pale-eyed young man Qui-Gon sensed . . . regret. Regret, pain, stubbornness . . . but nothing of a Jedi Master with a young Padawan. For the boy was very young indeed. After the first, cursory glance, Qui-Gon found his eyes straying often to the youngster, as the adult Jedi talked to the Agri-Corps workers. The boy looked tired, nigh exhausted, as if he was just recovering from injury or illness. And it was more than a physical weariness . . . this weariness seemed to seep into the boy’s bones, laying hold to spiritual and emotional depths that it had no right to touch. It emanated from the boy in turgid waves, an utter despair that Qui-Gon shuddered at. None of this showed in the boy’s features and stance, save for the shadows of weariness blotted beneath his eyes. He held himself straight, dignified, the somewhat foul Bandomeer breeze lifting reddish-brown locks off his smooth forehead. He would be a very appealing child, if his face was not so solemn and worn. His eyes should be brighter, Qui-Gon thought, irrationally and without evidence. Those eyes ought to be always shining with life and vigor, brilliant, lit from within. They are not meant to sit so dully there, as if they have no purpose but as holes to let in the sights of the world. The boy’s soul should be looking out of them, eager to see and experience life. Something has gone awry for this lad. The boy glanced up for a moment, met Qui-Gon’s gaze through the crowd. He quickly looked away again. “Thank you for bringing the supplies, Knight Xanatos,” Heim Shilbey, the Agri-Corps supervisor, said warmly. “We understand that you had a rough trip from Coruscant.” The pale-eyed man, Xanatos, nodded wearily. “Very rough, yes. And your new recruit from the Temple acquitted himself well.” Briefly the long-fingered hand alighted on the boy’s shoulder, and the young one’s gaze flicked up to the Knight’s face, then swiftly away. “Obi-Wan Kenobi will be a credit to your operations here.” “I don’t doubt it.” Heim grinned, giving the boy a rough pat on the arm. “Tangled with a few Togorians, did you?” The boy—Obi-Wan Kenobi—merely nodded. Qui-Gon felt a sudden surging desire to hear the whole story behind that. Perhaps the youngster’s fatigue could be attributed to a battle with Togorian pirates; perhaps the dullness in his gaze was simply from the shock of a harsh introduction to the galaxy after sheltered Temple life. But somehow, Qui-Gon didn’t think so. “Well, let’s get to work on these supplies, shall we?” Qui-Gon moved forward with the others, and they began off-loading bags and crates from the shuttle into the Agri-Corps grav truck. Xanatos took the boy Obi-Wan aside, speaking quietly to him. Jinn should not have been able to hear the nearly-silent conversation, especially occupied as he was, but one of the many hidden talents he harbored from Knight Dooku’s unofficial tutoring was an ability to focus the senses to a startling degree. If he weren’t experiencing it himself, Qui-Gon would not believe that a human could see so sharply or hear so clearly, but he could. “You will focus on your mission,” Xanatos said firmly. “It is your last mission. It will take you through the rest of your life.” “To be a farmer . . .” Obi-Wan murmured. Hello! Farming is good for the soul! Qui-Gon thought. But that wasn’t the way Obi-Wan saw it. The despair in the boy sharpened, seemed almost to weep for untasted delights now forever denied him. “To be a cultivator of life,” Xanatos interrupted. “To feed the hungry. To bring hope to those who have none. It is a noble calling.” Obi-Wan’s despair had made him reckless. “But it isn’t my calling! Please, Knight Xanatos, if you’d just . . .” “No.” Xanatos paused to pull in a deep breath. “I know you believe that you are meant to be a knight, Obi-Wan. But if that were so, the Force would have brought a master to you.” A brief pause, full of flurried emotion swiftly hidden. Qui-Gon was in the shuttle for the moment, so he could not see the pair, but he could imagine the young hands spread in supplication, the older ones raised in negation. Obi-Wan sighed. “I will not ask again.” “Good.” The older voice had softened slightly. “I cannot train you. We are . . . too much alike. I see myself in you. And that . . . frightens me.” “I will not turn.” Brave words, strongly spoken, Qui-Gon thought wonderingly. The boy’s despair had not yet destroyed that conviction. He truly believed that statement with all of his heart. “And I did not turn,” Xanatos said, almost gently. “But it was a near thing. Too near. I . . . I cannot risk it. I’m sorry. It’s not you, please believe that.” Again the boy’s despair sharpened and increased, all but overwhelming Qui-Gon with its intensity. He thought he caught an echo of Obi-Wan’s thoughts, faint and distant and somehow fragile, formed of thin ice sculpture that would shatter at a touch. If that’s true, why did no one choose me? Why did every master pass me by? It must be something in me that drove them away! Now the voice of Xanatos was gentle. “You will do much good in the Agri-Corps, Obi-Wan. Focus on that. Don’t look to the past—it will only hurt you.” Resignation now, taut, quiet. “Thank you, Knight Xanatos. I will.” Qui-Gon ached—no one so young should speak in such a way. It seemed unbearably cruel, that this boy should work his entire life for a single goal only to have it snatched away at the eleventh hour. Qui-Gon did not know life in the Temple, had only gathered parts of it from descriptions and reminisces, but he could imagine. And he could feel it in this child, discarded for reasons he could not control, nor even influence much. Jinn was outside now, waiting in line to deposit his latest armload in the grav truck, and he saw Xanatos place a hand on the boy’s shoulder. It was not truly a friendly gesture, not offered in comfort or reassurance, and Obi-Wan obviously gathered none from the cool touch. It seemed like a last push, casting the youngster away to fare as best he could in this new and hostile world. Qui-Gon felt many urges tugging on him, like confused currents in a troubled sea, none of them firm or even coherent. He could get no fix on them, could not find direction for how he ought to respond to this new ache. Uncharacteristically, he faltered. With so many hands bent to the task, the grav truck was soon loaded. Qui-Gon almost stepped forward then, but Obi-Wan Kenobi clambered into the cab, his eyes downcast. Heim Shilbey shook hands with Xanatos, then gave Qui-Gon and BonMi the Meerian farewell, hands extended with the palms up, then turned downward. Then the Agri-Corps truck departed. Xanatos made arrangements with BonMi for the repair of his shuttle, then disappeared onboard, apparently to a bunk-room there. Qui-Gon and the Meerian gave each other a shrug, as if to say, Offworlders. Whatcha gonna do? With a soft sigh, Qui-Gon turned back to the city. As always, he would wander, stopping to chat here and there, to play with a street child, to help an overburdened merchant with his goods, to watch a family interact and dream of the gift growing in his wife’s belly. Swiftly enough the day would pass, as it always did, and soon he would be able to discuss these strange new sensations with Julune. X “I thought I heard the boy’s thoughts. His thoughts! Is that even possible?” Julune shook her head, the side of her mouth twisting upward. “You would know better than I. Did you ever experience such with the Knight who taught you?” Qui-Gon shook his head thoughtfully, leaning back into lumpy cushions of the couch in their temporary home. “We had a bit of a connection, just enough that he was able to help me learn the meditation exercises by showing me. Knight Dooku said that if we were truly Master and Padawan, the connection would be much stronger, to the point that we would always be aware of each other’s feelings unless we deliberately blocked them out.” She snuggled against his arm, nuzzling her nose against his solid bicep. “Could you have formed such a connection spontaneously?” “I don’t know.” Qui-Gon frowned, lowering the datapad he’d been reading into his lap as his eyes lost focus. “I feel that I ought to find out, though.” “Then do.” Julune settled her shoulders back against the couch, running her fingers over the screen of his datapad. “Read to us, big papa?” Qui-Gon felt a big, goofy grin spread over his face. This was fun. He was a little bit shy about it, as it seemed rather silly, but as she’d asked for it . . . Carefully he lay down, his long legs dangling over the arm of the couch, and nestled his cheek against the swell of her abdomen, holding the datapad before his face. “Comfortable?” He felt Julune’s fingers carding through his hair, and the gentle quaking of her laughter. “Extremely.” Qui-Gon began to read, pitching his voice to be heard both by his wife and child. He rather hoped they made this a part of their evening routine. Family togetherness. The best thing in the galaxy. -----signature----- Kynstar's former Padawan The Unchosen: http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20049795/p1/ updated 2/16 When the darkness falls early, and the light hits the ground, there's a moment to be captured . . .
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Kynstar Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 6/3/05 11:29am Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	I am sorry for you loss I hope the trip isn't as lengthy as it sounds like it might be...flying I take it? Or driving with multiple drivers? I'll keep you and yours in my prayers of tonight. Now for this chapter...well done Padawan! Poor Obi he wants so bad to become a full fledge Jedi. AgriCorps bound for sure now. Poor kid... I like how you have Xan mention about his near 'fall' but obviously didn't go all the way (otherwise he'd not be a Knight still ) wonder who his Master was since Qui wasn't? And Qui thinking about the 'connection' bit. That was cool! And he's thinking on checking that out? That's even niftier. If anything maybe he can befriend the boy since everybody will be total strangers to him. I can see Qui being is friend. Looooooooved the reading together bit! That's so sweet! Those two are so wuvable together! Awesome job Padawan! -----signature----- Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans) Only thru fear, hatred, and pain will the true power of the Force be revealed. See stories/viggies in bio
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Shaindl Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/3/05 12:10pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	May, I'm sorry to hear about your great-grandfather. Be well and take care of yourself. The chapter was great. Loved how Qui noticed Obi-Wan and what he truly should be like. Xanatos needs to be smacked for what he's doing to him. Looking forward to the next chapter! -----signature----- Halfway Moment - Qui, Obi, Anakin AU - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20110461/?0 - UPDATED JULY 3!
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shanobi Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 6/3/05 12:27pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	Very sorry to hear of your loss And it was more than a physical weariness . . . this weariness seemed to seep into the boy’s bones, laying hold to spiritual and emotional depths that it had no right to touch. It emanated from the boy in turgid waves, an utter despair that Qui-Gon shuddered at. Wonderful line! Another chapter beautifully done. I live the premise you're settin up And you are much too sweet Thanks for your kind words and for your recent offer. It is very much appreciated And I would love to take you up on it! --shan -----signature----- The Plot Bunny Thread: http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/8535413/p1/?1308
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sheleigh Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 6/3/05 12:49pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	I am very sorry to hear of your loss... Well, May, what more is there to say but another superb chapter? Wow. Obi-Wan's anguish is very well done. (I was wondering when he was going to show up.) Ahh... Qui-Gon heard his thoughts... one is to assume the bond has already started to form? It will be interesting to see how two incredibly powerful Force users- neither of them fully trained- will reacte to that particular development... if indeed that is whats happening. I have to admit, I am relieved that the Qui-Gon of your story is drawn to Obi-Wan immediately, instead of fighting the connection as it happened in the Jude Watson books. Beautiful! Snaps for the author. sheleigh -----signature----- And In Conclusion... http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/20582878/ Vader: The Force is strong with you.... Luke: Oh yeah? How strong... Vader: Uh... as strong as a small pony... - Eddie Izzard's Dressed to Kill
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Bastet Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 6/3/05 3:05pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	Sorry to hear about your great-grandfather. I'm glad you're writing another story! It's off to a marvelous and intriguing start. Can't wait for more! -----signature----- "Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm "Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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LuvEwan Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 6/3/05 4:45pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	I'm sorry, may. My thoughts are with you. Another engrossing chapter. Your writing is so distinctive, professional and emotional, you've kept Qui-Gon in character, despite the obvious contrasts in the universe you've created from that of canon. And I love your description of poor Obi-Wan. Beautiful, as always. -----signature----- What Light Breaks-AU Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Anakin angst (collaboration with Spiritweaver) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/29979222/p1/?0 You want an Obi-Wan epic? We've got it right here.
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 6/3/05 4:52pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3
	First, I am so sorry for your loss. And now I must tell you how delightful this story is! I can't wait to read more. Qui and Obi! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 6/3/05 7:44pm Subject: RE: The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) updated 6/3 - Date Edited: 6/4/05 8:26pm (1 edits total) Edited By: dianethx
	Ohhhh, that was wonderful. I loved that Xanatos was a Knight and had almost turned and was now too afraid to take Obi on as an apprentice - a skewed play on the original. And Qui-Gon felt something with young Obi-Wan, something he didn't know what to do about. Great job with this. Just loving it. Sorry to hear of your loss, May. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/09 jedidas3's Master Merlin - Diplomatic Immunity - http://boards.theforce.net/nswff/b10808/30459852
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