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Author
Topic:
The sins of the Jedi / creation of DarknessAU/EU JAatoc,RotS,Obi, Qui, 30th Aug"COMPLETE and THANKS"
LilyHobbitJedi
Title:
Apples to Apples and 20 Questions hostess
Registered:
Aug '05
Date Posted:
6/19/06 2:58pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, others 15/6/06
Aww...poor Obi.
Qui-Gon needs to stop being so stubborn and listen to Yoda. That's great that Obi-Wan was able to warn Garen and Reeft. But poor Reeft, is he going to die? Great update and thanks for the pm!
-----signature-----
Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas!
Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover!
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/
A Light In The Darkness
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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padmay_skywalker
Registered:
May '05
Date Posted:
6/19/06 8:18pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, others 15/6/06
Poor Reeft!!!
oh well...even the best stories have their deaths....
obi is starting to show some evil, he's starting to show some evil!!!!!!
heheheheh i cant wait until he goes full out!
-----signature-----
"If you're not with me, then you're my enemy!"
E-Twin to Padawan_Anne
Padawan to JOINME. love ya, Alexis
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kenobiwanobi
Registered:
Jun '05
Date Posted:
6/20/06 7:23pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, others 15/6/06
-
Date Edited:
6/20/06 7:23pm
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
kenobiwanobi
WOW What drama!!!amazingly written!!Great job!!Thanks for the PM!~
-----signature-----
Better to die on your feet than live on your knees-Dolores Ibarruri
Moulin Rouge Freak- The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
check out my story ( link=my profile)
Proud Padawan of stormqueen874
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obi_webb
Registered:
Aug '05
Date Posted:
6/21/06 8:23am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, others 15/6/06
ahhhhh i'm torn because i want to see some dark side obi action but part of me wants qui to stop being an idiot and train obi to become a jedi..
ah well, he will go dark, and perhaps he will show qui-gon the error of his ways
that was a fantastic chapter, as usual for you! i think my favorite part was qui and yoda arguing. blasted jedi are both stubborn and hard headed..
speaking of hard headed.. poor obi when qui pushed him! that was pretty brutal on qui's part! and it turns out, obi was right and he was wrong... BAH!!
go evil obi!! make qui pay!!!!!!!!
heh. this story is fun! look forward to reading more!
-----signature-----
Jedi Consular- Acolytes of Revan
A Jedi's Sacrifice- my kotor fic
http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/22040803/p1/
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
6/22/06 1:12am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, others 15/6/06
-
Date Edited:
6/22/06 1:14am
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
Gkilkenny
Misty
About Qui-Gon:
Yes: he is stubborn
Yes: he is Boneheaded
Yes: he has a bad attitude
Sorry about the eye colour.
I didn't really check that much about Anakin
he is not one of my favourites to write about.
I thought it was easier for the visions that
Obi had pale blue eyes and Anakin had Brown
To be honest I didn't even think about his eye colour.
Maybe he is wearing contacts
Star_Drifter
I see Dark Obi on the horizon
But it is not his fault, it is never Obi's fault
He is too cute whether he is bad or good.
LilyHobbitJedi
Yes
WARNING
Reeft is the first death be prepared for a few more.
padmay_skywalker
I knew you would
love evil Obi
You will have to wait a while before
he sees the Dark
kenobiwanobi
You are welcome and thank you
obi_webb
Thanks. and dont worry Qui will pay
and so will .... a few others
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
6/22/06 1:36am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, others 15/6/06
-
Date Edited:
6/25 11:17pm
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
Gkilkenny
Some hours later Obi-wan woke to the sound of an explosion and for a moment he thought he was back on the transport.
He sat up and his head was spinning, he thought
(I must have hit my head pretty hard)
As he got up from the bed Qui-Gon burst in his room.
“Where are Garen and Reeft” he snapped at Obi.
“They didn’t want to stay here they went for a walk” Obi answered.
“Come with me!” Qui-Gon ordered.
They raced down to the factory area and noticed a crowd gathering around a scaffold that was hanging precariously over a ravine, Obi-wan was shocked when he saw Garen hanging on to the edge of the scaffold with his legs and one arm was holding a limp Reeft, and his other arm was cut badly. Qui-Gon stopped in front of several workmen who were gathering ropes to rescue the two boys.
“What happened" he asked.
“Don’t know" said one. "There was an explosion in the munitions factory and the steel tower buckled and toppled over, bits of metal flew out everywhere, we have several injured and then we noticed the two out there. They must have been climbing on the tower just before the explosion."
“What are you going to do” asked Obi who was afraid for his friends “Can you save them?” he added.
“We tried to go out for them but when we climb out the Tower began to give and we need at least three men to help in rescuing them. If we go out again it could collapse with our weight." the man said.
While Qui-Gon was talking to the men Obi-wan picked up a rope and silently moved off to the Tower. By the time Qui-Gon had decided to go out on the tower himself to rescue them, a man yelled out “Hey what’s that kid doing?”
Qui-Gon knew immediately what Obi-wan was doing he was going to rescue his friends.
He shook his head and said to the men “Wait here I will go after him”.
He took off and started to climb towards Obi-wan, by the time he reached him Obi-wan was holding Garens feet.
“Garen can you pull Reeft up?” Obi asked.
“N-o Obi he is too heavy my arm is aching, and I think he is hurt bad. He hasn’t moved and I cannot wake him”
Qui-Gon got to them and said. “Garen let Reeft go, you cannot help him he is one with the force”
“Nooo I will not let him go he is not dead, No-o.” Garen cried.
Obi-wan felt out through the force and knew Reeft was dead, but he also did not want to let Reeft go. If they did his body would fall into the ravine and it was deep, his body would never be recovered.
Obi-wan turned to Qui-Gon and whispered “Please don’t make him do that, can’t we pull him up”
Qui-Gon just glared at Obi-wan. “This whole Tower is going to fall and I for one do not want to die for a child that is already dead.” As he spoke the Tower shifted and creaked.
Qui-Gon grabbed Garens legs and started to pull and at the same time he force pushed against Garens arm causing Garen to release his grip on Reeft. The boy screamed as he watched his friend tumble down the ravine and out of sight. Qui-Gon unravelled Garens feet from the tower and pulled him up, and then he half carried half dragged the struggling boy by out of the twisted tower.
The healers were waiting and took the boy to the medical centre, once he had gone Qui-Gon turned to Obi-wan and said.
“You are reckless, what ever you learned in your time at the temple apparently wasn’t enough.You have no control, and you allow your emotions to control you, I was right in not wanting you as an apprentice you are not worthy to be called a Jedi” He said and he spun around and walked off.
Obi-wan was fuming, it wasn’t his fault that they climbed the tower, he had obeyed Qui-Gon and stayed in their room. Obi-wan walked around for a bit, soon he thought he had better go back to their rooms and wait for Garen to be released from the healers.
Qui-Gon was there when he arrived and was scanning the holo net.
Obi-wan could hear the voice from the speaker saying something about a force sensitive boy being found on the outskirts of town.
Qui-Gon hadn’t spoken to Obi-wan when he walked in, but after the news cast finished he said “I have something important to do your friend Garen will be here shortly, make sure you are both here when I return. Can I trust you to obey me?” he said.
“Yes, I can be trusted !, I obeyed you last time didn’t I!!” Obi stated.
Qui-Gon didn’t answer Obi he just left.
Obi-wan wondered what he had been reading so he turned the holo net on and replayed the news. Apparently a boy a year older than Obi-wan had been found out in the desert, it appeared that his family had been killed by raiders. The local authorities had tested his blood and found he was highly force sensitive. They had contacted the Jedi Temple and they were going to send a Jedi out to check the youth. Qui-Gon had intercepted the communiqué and told the Temple he would pick the child up.
Obi-wan thought
I suppose this kid will be just what Qui-Gon wants. He certainly wasted no time in going to have a look at him, he couldn’t get out of here fast enough.
Finally Garen was brought back to the room, he was limping a bit and his arm was bandaged and wrapped in a sling, they had told him to use the force to heal his injuries as they had done all they could for him. He was so pale and Obi-wan sat next to him and put his arm around Garen’s shoulder.
“You Ok Gars” Obi asked, but he could sense blind anger radiating from his friend all directed at Qui-Gon.
“I hate him so much Obi If I was strong enough I think I would Kill Qui-Gon Jinn
Reeft didn’t deserve to be let go like that we could have brought him back for a proper funeral,that dam Tower is still standing and they dragged it back away from the ravine.
“Why did he do that Obi. He must hate us so much, he didn’t even care what happened to Reeft and probably doesn’t care whether we live or die” Garen said with contempt in his voice.
Obi-wan didn’t know what to say, he believed Garen was right but he didn’t want to have that much hate filling his senses. So he didn’t say anything just comforted his friend.
Garen felt it, “Why don’t you hate him Obi, he has never said one nice thing about you and cannot wait to get rid of you."
“I suppose I could hate him but it would do me no favours, it will not change his mind and hate leads down a path that I do not want to travel” Obi-wan answered.
“Well at this moment I could easily walk that path, Master Jinn is arrogant and how close to hate does he come when he treats us with contempt, that doesn’t sound like some one who walks the path of the light to me". Garen replied.
“Yes I see your point, he does seem to walk very close to the Dark, and maybe the Dark side is a part of all of us and does have its values". Obi said.
“So Obi-wan where is the Jerk anyway” Garen asked.
Obi-wan showed Garen the Holo Net news report.
“What so this kid is force sensitive he’s thirteen and Master Jinn is going to see him. What a joke If he takes that kid back to Corruscant and leaves us on Bandameer, I for one will hate the Jedi forever” Garen stated.
Obi-wan sat and watched the changing looks on his friends face, and he wondered if the Jedi caused all the initiates to feel this way when they sent them away, He wondered it the Dark side treated their children that way.
Later Qui-Gon commed Obi-wan and told the two boys to meet him at the space port.
When Obi and Garen got there Qui-Gon walked over to them and with him was a boy with dark hair and deep blue eyes.
“Anakin this is Obi-wan and this is Garen” Qui-Gon introduced them.
“Hello” the boy said and then he added, "are you Jedi too?”
But before the boys could answer Qui-Gon said “They have been assigned to the Agri Corps on Banadmeer. We will drop them off and then head back to Corruscant.” Qui-Gon said and Obi-wan didn’t like the way he said it. It sounded so final.
After they were settled in their rooms, Obi-wan saw Qui-Gon in one of the Recreation rooms and decided to speak to him.
“Master Jinn I do not mean to be disrespectful, but Anakin is not a Jedi although I sense he is force sensitive, and I was wondering why he isn’t going to Bandameer with us.
“You are not being disrespectful, but it is none of your business anyway. Whatever happens to Anakin is none of your concern, I believe you should concentrate on your new duties.” Qui-Gon stated.
Obi-wan was stunned the man had no compassion for another’s feelings, Obi-wan thought it strange that he could read Qui-Gon’s thoughts
( the Master was planning to take Anakin as his apprentice. Something about he is the one I have been waiting for Anakin is my destiny.)
Obi-wan was so gripped by the sensation of Qui-Gons thoughts in his head that he replied to the Master.
(Why is he good enough for you and I am not I have been training for twelve years, doesn’t that count for anything?”)
Qui-Gon’s face went from impassive to one of shock, he knew what it meant when a youngling could communicate to a Master through thought, there was a bond growing one that signified a Master /apprentice pairing.
He slammed his shields up physically causing pain to Obi-wans head, and with his great power in the force blocked the bond.
Obi-wan reeled backwoods from the pain in his head and collapsed to his knees holding his head. He knew what Master Jinn was doing, they had learnt about dissolving bonds and the pain they cause usually it occurs when one of the bonded pair dies.
Master Jinn didn’t want to be tied to Obi-wan and he was putting a block on the fledgling bond. Obi-wan was confused he had not initiated a bond with Master Jinn and he was sure Master Jinn hadn’t formed one with him so how did a bond form between them, was it the will of the force.
(Was Master Jinn going against the will of the force?)
those thoughts flashed through Obi-wan as he sat there incapacitated, with the pain.
Finally the pain subsided, and he let his hands drop to his side and looked up at Master Jinn, and for a minute there Obi-wan could swear he saw regret in his eyes. It was gone as quickly as it appeared.
Qui-Gon helped Obi to his feet and dismissed him. “I am sorry I had to do that Obi-wan, but you gave me no choice, I will not take you as my apprentice . I have made my choice and I will inform the Council that I will take Anakin as my apprentice. Now leave me and do not speak of this again.” he berated.
Obi-wan lifted his head proudly and without a word walked out of the room and out of Qui-Gons life forever.
Qui-Gon watched Obi-wan leave the rec room, he wanted to call him back, he was mortified by his own response to the fledgling bond.
(What is wrong with me, I should not have done that, no matter what I want personally, the boy was only being honest and yet I treated him as a pest to be squashed. Was it because I didn’t want to acknowledge the warning through the force that I was making the biggest mistake of my life, one that I will regret to the end of my days?)
he thought.
( No! No ! I will not believe that I am making a mistake, the force must be warning me about something else, Yes!, Yes! that must be it. I sense Anakin must be trained, I am not wrong about that.)
he pondered.
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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LilyHobbitJedi
Title:
Apples to Apples and 20 Questions hostess
Registered:
Aug '05
Date Posted:
6/22/06 3:17am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
Poor Reeft, Garen and Obi!
Qui-Gon really needs to get over his stubborness and realize what he's doing to Obi. And he's taking on Anakin?
Interesting twist. Good update, I look forward to more!
-----signature-----
Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas!
Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover!
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/
A Light In The Darkness
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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Darth_Abtranor
Registered:
May '05
Date Posted:
6/22/06 4:39pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
Great story so far!
No offense, but I've noticed you have a lot of run-on sentences.
-----signature-----
"Wipe them out. All of them."
"At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge."
"Execute Order 66."
"The brightest light casts the darkest shadow."
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jodiwent
Registered:
Feb '00
Date Posted:
6/23/06 4:50am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
Hi Geri,
Just poping in to let you know I'm reading too. How could I not when you write such a lovely bucket head qui-Gon
He usually comes around.
-----signature-----
Links to FICS in Bio on botom of profile
http://boards.theforce.net/ASP/user.asp?usr=238155
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
6/23/06 7:35pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
LilyHobbitJedi
Qui-gon is just Qui-Gon
he wont change
he has a stubborn streak that may cause him
more harm than good.
Darth_Abtranor
Thanks and no offence taken I am always open to suggestions
but I am not sure by what you mean by
run-on sentences
I sent you a
P
rivate
M
essage asking.
but I haven't heard from you yet.
please let me know.
Hi
jodiwent
Thanks for letting me know
You know how much I like
Old Bucket head
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Darth_Abtranor
Registered:
May '05
Date Posted:
6/23/06 8:05pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
-
Date Edited:
6/23/06 8:13pm
(3 edits total)
Edited By:
Darth_Abtranor
A run-on sentence is two or more complete sentences together that aren't separated by a period/question mark, a comma with a conjunction (and, but, etc.), a semi-colon, or colon.
ex: Obi-wan was depressed he couldn’t bear to go back to his room and have to listen to the Zabrak initiates pouting about their good fortune, they had been chosen, there were many force sensitive Zabrak Jedi Knights at the temple looking for new apprentices, so the two initiates would be moving out of his room.
corrected version
Obi-wan was depressed
;
he couldn’t bear to go back to his room and have to listen to the Zabrak initiates pouting about their good fortune
.
After all
, they had been chosen because there were many force sensitive Zabrak Jedi Knights at the temple looking for new apprentices.
This meant
the two initiates would be moving out of his room.
The blue is stuff I fixed. The highlited red words are words I added after I separated the sentences.
Also, I just now realized that the private messages thing was there
. I feel stupid.
-----signature-----
"Wipe them out. All of them."
"At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge."
"Execute Order 66."
"The brightest light casts the darkest shadow."
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
6/24/06 2:27am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
Thanks
Darth_Abtranor
I must admit, I actually rushed this story.
I was trying to finish it for a friend, so I guess I didn't beta
it very well.
Isn't it amazing how computers can tell you how to spell and how to practically write stuff.
I am sure that soon enough we will just have a microphone to talk into and tell the computer what to write.
Mmmm I think I am looking forward to that.
But I bet it will cost a packet.
I looked up your sig. and kinda guessed you didn't know about the
PM
thing
Geri
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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obi_webb
Registered:
Aug '05
Date Posted:
6/24/06 7:23am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
that was another fantastic chapter.. as usual, you fit a lot of very interesting things/events in a short time. reeft's death was just another thing that pushes obi more toward the dark..
but the fascinating thing, for me, is that obi is right in about everything he thinks and feels so far. qui-gon is the one that's closest to the dark side, with his arrogance and seeming contempt for obi and his friends.
and now it seems anakin comes into the picture..
this is easily one of the best AU's i've ever read. there are so many possibilites here..
this seems to have the makings of a great tragedy.. because it's so easy to symapthize with obi right now.. but i don't think it's going to end well...
congrats on another amazing story! you just seem to come up with one after another! and this has the potential to be better then all of them!
-----signature-----
Jedi Consular- Acolytes of Revan
A Jedi's Sacrifice- my kotor fic
http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/22040803/p1/
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kenobiwanobi
Registered:
Jun '05
Date Posted:
6/24/06 8:04am
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
wow that was a very emotional post...great job yet again!!~
-----signature-----
Better to die on your feet than live on your knees-Dolores Ibarruri
Moulin Rouge Freak- The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
check out my story ( link=my profile)
Proud Padawan of stormqueen874
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Star_Drifter
Registered:
Jul '05
Date Posted:
6/24/06 4:18pm
Subject:
RE: The sins of the Jedi / creation of Darkness. AU/EU, JA, atoc,RotS, Obi, Qui, 22/6/06 *update *
Was it because I didn’t want to acknowledge the warning through the force that I was making the biggest mistake of my life, one that I will regret to the end of my days?) he thought.
( No! No ! I will not believe that I am making a mistake, the force must be warning me about something else, Yes!, Yes! that must be it.
I sense Anakin must be trained, I am not wrong about that.) he pondered.
Here he goes again, making excuses for his behavior!
Take this, Qui-Gon!
There's just something so refreshing about a punching bag!
Thanks for the interesting update and PM, my friend!
Star
-----signature-----
In the beginning was the Word...In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not comprehend it.
one nation, UNDER GOD
Darth Mom
and Master to Ani-maniac
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