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---CharmisDrabbles... ---: Week 5!!!-------Qui-Gon, Dooku, Xanatos, Obi, Maul
Charmisjess
Registered:
Jul '03
Date Posted:
9/25/06 4:29pm
Subject:
---CharmisDrabbles... ---: Week 5!!!-------Qui-Gon, Dooku, Xanatos, Obi, Maul
-
Date Edited:
6/7/07 7:15am
(11 edits total)
Edited By:
Charmisjess
This looked like far too much fun to pass up.
I hope I can keep up.
First set is in second person, but I'll cheat and tell you.
You are Qui-Gon.
-*-
1. beginnings
He isn’t smiling, but his honey-brown eyes are shot through with the happy light of play, and the curves of his shoulders are relaxed. He tips his head forward, only just, so that the dark ponytail swings forward. The burst of lightsaber ignition coaxes a little half-smile from the lips, a predatory quirk, and there it is: the classic Makashi salute. Tight and quick, the blade flashes, and then sweeps down to the side with decided relish. A pause before attack, as if an honorary nod to elegance itself.
Master Dooku is going to kill you, but it’ll be
fun.
2. middles
You’ve been telling him to tie up his hair for the last six months, and he never listens, anymore then when you tell him to stop ripping off pieces of the sparring room to Force-throw at you in the middle of matches. He routinely mocks gravity, dark blue eyes all laughter. He won’t pick a form; rather playing between all of them, like a child who wishes to possess all the toys.
And that’s what makes you always smile, and forgive, and look the other way. Because Xanatos is amusing. Because Xanatos is more of your friend than your Padawan.
3. ends
You think everything must be fading out because he’s usually so predictable during battle, so steady. Now his form is brightly honest, filled with so much of himself, and you want to tell him that this is what you were always speaking of in the lessons. He doesn’t hesitate. He strikes. He’s the moment.
The Sith topples, split at the middle from your fallen blade. It looks right pulsing in his hands, trembling as they are.
And he runs back to you, as he always has. But you can’t be here anymore.
“Obi-Wan…” Is that your voice? “It’s too late.”
4. first
Now he is brilliant as he ever was; a sun star with too much fire or feeling. And how he has grown! He is finally that thing which you had foreseen, finally completed. He does not merely touch the Force, he channels it, pouring out strength, wielding lava flow. How could the Council have ever doubted? He is the prophecy. He is the hope where your strength had failed.
And as you wrap ghostly arms around the dying youngling, easing the child into death, you realize your passionate, completed Chosen One is the first of a new era of Sith.
5. last
Yellow sands are drifting here; but so are you, spliced in formless eternity. You won’t know what it’s like to grow old; can’t remember how it feels to be tired. You touch his exhaustion though: the tattered emptiness in gentle sighs. Sometimes you feel like only reflective water to him, an illusion of this arid world.
But he is the last, and alone, and yours. You won’t leave him. That you know as strongly as the memory of a heartbeat.
Obi-Wan glances up, halfway through teatime with no one. The surface of the liquid ripples. He smiles. “Thank you, Qui-Gon.”
-*-
-----signature-----
I <3 Starrie.
Strange Little Girls->
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24496675/p1/?0
Where are you going?
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Star-Foozle
Registered:
Aug '06
Date Posted:
9/25/06 5:41pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Woot, first reply! *dances*
I loved these, especially Beginnings and Last.
Master Dooku is going to kill you, but it’ll be
fun.
That seems very much in-character...I always loved how you write Qui and Dooku, and even in a drabble, your style shows through brilliantly.
But he is the last, and alone, and yours. You won’t leave him. That you know as strongly as the memory of a heartbeat.
Awww...
Great job, I look forward to more of these!
Cheers!
-----signature-----
Can't save the world without caffeine.
Proud Padawan of Charmisjess!
My fics are in my profile.
Midnight is where the day begins.
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Layren
Registered:
Oct '03
Date Posted:
9/25/06 6:13pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Charms!! So very glad you decided to get on board with these! See, aren't they fun?
You've done such a good job! YOu really can pack a punch in 100 words! Wow I don't know which is my favorite! I'll just pick out my favorite lines...since I don't have a particular favorite drabble, they're all wonderful!
Master Dooku is going to kill you, but it’ll be fun.
Hahahhaha, that line struck me as most amusing
And that’s what makes you always smile, and forgive, and look the other way. Because Xanatos is amusing. Because Xanatos is more of your friend than your Padawan.
Awwwwww, that one's terribly heartbreaking!
And as you wrap ghostly arms around the dying youngling, easing the child into death, you realize your passionate, completed Chosen One is the first of a new era of Sith.
Wow what brilliant imagery that is there! Superb work, never thought of Qui-Gon being there for the younglings easing the pain of death. Nice!
Excellent work again, m'dear!
-----signature-----
Proud Master to Ara-gon
The Triad Chronicles
http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/25934993/p1/?177
(OC's)
Into Another Day
http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?0
2008 Dear Diary Challenge
I am Jinngerbread.
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dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
Date Posted:
9/25/06 8:00pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Love these! Especially the middles and ends ones.
And that’s what makes you always smile, and forgive, and look the other way. Because Xanatos is amusing. Because Xanatos is more of your friend than your Padawan.
Brilliantly said.
And he runs back to you, as he always has. But you can’t be here anymore.
Oh, that so defines their relationship. Wonderful, wonderful!!!
-----signature-----
Betrayal -
http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143
updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion-
http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473
updated 11/20/08
jedidas3's Master
At last - Hope for our country
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Luminara_Kenobi
Registered:
Sep '06
Date Posted:
9/25/06 9:01pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Wow, that was awesome! The pattern of the titles and how it all fit--magnificent!
-----signature-----
Oafie & Lulu
Long Live the original JA series--
why did it go out of print?!
Long Live Freedom of Speech!!!
Constantly thinking of new and innovative ways to shave Obi-Wan
I miss you, too.
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leia_naberrie
Registered:
Sep '02
Date Posted:
9/26/06 2:13am
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Oh these are so lovely. *sigh* They read to me like tiny precious, precious stones: so poetic and pretty and lovely. *clasps hands together in delighted awe* I'm so glad to read something new from you.
-----signature-----
Mortal Instruments {Palpatine/Padmé/Anakin}
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27482874/r27847574
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Kynstar
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
9/26/06 5:44am
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Well done!!
Loooved them!
Poor Qui
that one where he dies is so sad!
Great work!
-----signature-----
Paddy sis to t_s & SarkaVrae/Master to hyperspace_police
Member of Rebel Legion and Jedi Assembly (Kynstar Lans)
Long live fanfiction...for in these tales do our heroes still exist.
See stories/viggies in bio
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Persephone_Kore
Registered:
Jan '06
Date Posted:
9/27/06 12:12am
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Oh, Jess, they hurt. The one with Anakin especially, because everything's already lost there, and he sounds so proud of him almost, except... then it's
then
.
In the last one, I like the emphasis on liquid in such a dry setting (reflective water, the cup when Obi-Wan's hand shakes, or there's a breeze of air or ghost-whose-name-apparently-means-breath), and on what Qui-Gon does and doesn't remember and what he never knew firsthand, and I wonder if Qui-Gon remembers how important "just reflective water" might be in a desert.
-----signature-----
Protégé: Chosen:
http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/28612428
A Rose in the Ashes:
http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/29028814
Lost Ones:
http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/29061459
Morality and the Sith Apprentice:
http://boards.theforce.net/f1/b1/27581326
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Princess_Arulmozhi
Registered:
Nov '04
Date Posted:
9/27/06 4:19am
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Jess... that was amazing. Wonderful, Heartbreaking. I'm running out of adjectives here. You've brought Qui-Gon to life. In every way it is possible to bring a character to life. And his relationship with Obi-Wan. Every piece was a work of art. And Xan.
Perhaps I think the Anakin one is the greatest. It is
perfect
.
-----signature-----
Perceptions (Xanatos/Obi/Qui/Anakin) AU:http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25276178/p1/?7 - *vignette*
Stones (Li'l Obi/Qui) -
http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/23371821/p1/
Best Author, WFFA (BtS) 05/06
Lore-Master to 7
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honour
Registered:
Jul '03
Date Posted:
9/27/06 7:53pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
-
Date Edited:
9/28/06 6:59am
(2 edits total)
Edited By:
honour
Wow! I loved these, especially Obi-Wan's
Edit: I'm hoping you'll continue your vigs of the female jedi of SW. Adored Underwater Thing.
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
Date Posted:
9/28/06 2:54am
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Just impossible to pick out a favorite in these. Each one is a gen of it's own.
Might I ask for PM's when you post a new set?
-----signature-----
Any way youll never know
The many ways I've tried
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Araxie
Registered:
Mar '06
Date Posted:
9/28/06 1:08pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Wonderfully written. I had to read them all a couple of times just to really get the impact of each word and emotion! Well done.
-----signature-----
story index on profile
Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.
Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust.
~George Washington
Member of UPR
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Veloz
Registered:
Aug '04
Date Posted:
9/28/06 2:55pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
These are fantastic... very well done
I'd ask also if u update with more, please add me to ur pm list
-----signature-----
"Hello there!"
"Remember the Force will be with you..always" - Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH
"Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?"- Obi Wan Kenobi, ANH
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Charmisjess
Registered:
Jul '03
Date Posted:
10/1/06 7:05pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Wow, thanks for such a great response!
Star:
Ack, you're too kind to me!
I couldn't help but slip a little Qui-Gon and Dooku in there, if only a little.
I do love the boys inordinately. And *g* I'm glad to have a recognizable style. That makes me happy. Thanks for the review!
Laurie:
Eee. *swishy bow* What a kind review!^^ I'm glad I got into them too, they're fun thingies...
With the younglings, I think it was possibly for my own feeling better. The poor things, they had to have something with them.
dianethx:
Aw, thank you!
I'm glad you liked them! I confess, I haven't done a lot of Xanatos and Qui stuff, but it's something I'd like to explore.
Luminara_Kenobi:
Thank you! I agonized quite a bit over how I was going to theme them, I'm glad it all came out right.
leia_naberrie:
You always are so sweet, m'dear!
It has been a while, hasn't it? Silly coursework.
Kyn:
Aw, thank you. I know, I haven't ever been able to bring myself to write a death!Qui story, but I thought it wouldn't count, being a drabble...
Pekay:
I have to say, I couldn't help but think of Anakin singing, writing the bit with the Temple...
I don't think Qui-Gon quite appreciates the water thing, yet.
Princess:
Ahhh. *hug* You are a dear, you know? Second person was surprisingly good with Qui-Gon. I think I think about him too much.
honour:
Okay, and my day is made, because I didn't think there was anyone out there who remembered/cared about my Jedi Ladies.
You are awesome. I'm definitely still working on them, I think I may have Komari Vosa up next (although, I dunno, cos I wanted to do something a little happier) ....so... yes.
Thank you.
Leona:
Thank you, ma'am. ^_^ I'm notoriously terrible at keeping up PM lists, but I shall try my hardest! I so much appreciate the review!
Araxie:
Wow, thank you!
Veloz:
Thankie!
Consider yourself PM listed.
-----signature-----
I <3 Starrie.
Strange Little Girls->
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24496675/p1/?0
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ardavenport
Registered:
Dec '04
Date Posted:
10/2/06 5:02pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
Aaaaah, they are very nice, different eras of Qui-Gon. I liked the last two, 'ghostly' Qui-Gons, especially where Qui-Gon is still with Obi-Wan at the end.
-----signature-----
Links to all fics --
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25405090&brd=10304&start=26223917
The Heart of the Jedi --
http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26013327
---- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, JA and everything you wanted to know about lightsabers
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Charmisjess
Registered:
Jul '03
Date Posted:
10/3/06 4:40pm
Subject:
RE: *--Charm's Drabblings--* Week 1: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Xanatos, Dooku, Ani.
-
Date Edited:
10/3/06 4:49pm
(2 edits total)
Edited By:
Charmisjess
ardavenport:
Why, thank you! Qui-Gon was always my first love, but he's by no means my specialty, so I'm encouraged to hear that he came out okay. I appreciate the review!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Week two, kiddos!
Themeish thing for this week is meetings. A lot of these really wanted to be big fics, too, so you might see them again sometime in the future, depending. Oh, and watch out for Jocasta, she swears, the pirate!
Also, gah, I need to decide on a name for these.
~*~
6. hours
It took Yoda hours to finally convince Dooku that he was not a terrifying cellartroll, and far longer to lure him out of hiding. The small boy’s eyes were streaming and copper-bright; peering out from under the transport ship’s cot with acute anguish. For all his potential, he was now as insubstantial and lost as a little dustpuff.
It was then that he finally gave in to sobbing; gulping and choking at first, as if the tears alone were frightening, and then steadier, quietly, as the horror sunk in.
Even with his special powers, his parents still didn’t want him.
7. days
It took Qui-Gon three days to start trusting him.
Dooku knew this precisely, because three days into training, in a moment’s slip of balance, he found the boy’s hand firmly clutching his own.
It wasn’t much. But stars, he had done it so naturally, so instinctively, and what was this boy trusting
him
for?--he was only twenty-two, and didn’t know anything at all about being a Jedi Master or keeping a child alive!
Dooku had held on tightly, fighting a mild wave of panic, and vowed to never let his new apprentice guess how particularly terrifying the thought was.
8. weeks
“You weren’t going to say hello, were you? After all these weeks?”
The voice was cultured, clipped, familiar and profoundly hurt. Dooku glanced from his datareader, unnerved to find Jocasta Nu’s porcelain face hovering angrily over his shoulder.
She …had grown; a queen of pale and gold now, even towering over him. Her arms were crossed; her lightsaber just visible, clipped like a little silver charm on the circlet of her waist.
“Jo! --I
wanted
to see you, only…”
“Go--” She whirled. "--to hell."
He blinked, incredulous. “What?”
“And tell your ridiculous Padawan to quit running in the Archive!”
9. months
“Hello, again.” Qui-Gon hadn’t really been planning to speak. Master Dooku certainly hadn’t spoken to him in the months since he had been Knighted.
But a curious look came into the Master eyes: bright, almost warm. Intense. "Padawan!"
Qui-Gon blinked at Dooku’s reflexive slip of tongue, his words suddenly colliding into a pile in his chest, leaving him strangely mute. He had missed him. After all the time he’d spent convincing himself that he hadn't, the realization was warming.
And he smiled, because the exchange was far too awkward for Dooku not to have missed him just a little, too.
10. years
Years had curved her body, cupped her with hands of womanhood, until her shape was so different, Qui-Gon hardly recognized his little playmate. There was ruby fullness to her quirking lips now, sharpness in the green-gold of her eyes that swayed him. He felt abruptly awkward, deer-like in sudden awareness of the length of his limbs, the hot sun on his broadened shoulders.
“Stars and planets, is it Qui-Gon Jinn?”
Warmth arched up his spine. “Tahl!”
He tipped, delirious with the joy of her, caught on her Force-signature. Their bodies met with laughter, a hug, a beautiful crash.
~*~
-----signature-----
I <3 Starrie.
Strange Little Girls->
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24496675/p1/?0
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