Author Topic: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 5/18
Valairy_Scot 
Title: PT Rewrite Winner
Registered: Sep '05
19543_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/1 12:14pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
Obi-Wan IS Jedi now, no doubt, following the Force without doubt or questions. Yahoo. Great job.

 

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http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there.
Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping.
Writes on inspiration, not a schedule.
Proud master of several padawans
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ratna 
Registered: Mar '07
7949_Jappor Snippet
Date Posted: 4/1 2:45pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
azizah, i sure hope you've got another update in your pocket! i don't think i can stand waiting to find out what happens next!!!

some lovely images/thoughts in here, along with the action and suspense:

Obi-Wan was definitely worried about his master ... a familiar feeling, fixed to him like a crooked shadow he could not shake loose.
What a beautiful description of his devotion!

Every detail of the yard was lit with painful perfect clarity yet he felt like a blind man unable to read the warning sign, about to step unwittingly into the riptide. He stamped his foot in frustration.
Awesome image. And I love the bit about him stamping his foot. Grounds the narrative in his personality and still quite young age.

The pacing shadows ebbed and flowed but took no individual form, the ground itself seemed to have become a living swirling vortex, ready to swallow him whole.
Whoa!! I can just see that. Wow.


He felt as light and free as the wind.
How rare it is to be so right in the moment. Beautifully put.



 

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Ou n'a tu pas tellement aime quelqu'un que tu avais peur de l'aimer au peur des souvenirs?
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Bastet 
Registered: Dec '99
13594_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/1 4:59pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
Great post, azizah! love

I loved the action, go Obi-Wan! grin

But what happened? Where's he going? Hmm... thinking Can't wait to find out!

Thanks for the update! grin

 

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"Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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dianethx 
Registered: Mar '02
46246_TFN Turns "10"
Date Posted: 4/1 6:31pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
That was a great action scene. I loved how Obi-Wan just knew what to do when he let the Force take him.

Wonderful.

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08
Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434
Master to jedidas3
Impeach Bush!
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earlybird-obi-wan 
Registered: Aug '06
6130_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/1 9:25pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
what are you up to Obi-Wan? Eager waiting for the next post.

And great action scene, beautiful writte. applause applause

 

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writer and Star Wars fan
FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link]
stories in my bio
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Gkilkenny 
Registered: Mar '04
7963_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/1 10:49pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01

A wonderful action scene,
great post. applause

 

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Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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azizah 
Registered: Sep '06
13901_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 5:23pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
Valairy_Scot – Thank you.

ratna – sorry my dear, you won’t find out what happens in this next post. grin This thing just goes on and on.

I am glad you liked the crooked shadow bit, I did too when I reread this.

Bastet
– What happens next? We switch back to Qui-Gon, of course. tongue Thanks for reading.

dianethx – Thanks, I am always glad when the action works because I have a hard time with it.

earlybird-obi-wan – Thank you, next post coming up.

Gkilkenny
– Thank you and thanks for reading. happy

 

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azizah 
Registered: Sep '06
13901_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 5:27pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/01
&

The Force surrounded him, cool and pure and utterly still. Timeless. Marked only by the barest ripple of distraction, distant and unimportant, as the wind ruffling the surface of a lake has no meaning in the untouched depths of stillness.

The disturbance ebbed and flowed, but never entirely disappeared, growing stronger, tugging at the edges of his tranquility, persistent now and refusing to be ignored.

Awareness was still distant, like looking through water, and Qui-Gon allowed it to come to him gradually, at first reluctant to leave but soon ready to start again, renewed, the call of the living Force powerful and heady.

Emerging from a healing trance was rebirth. His body jerked out of its slow steady healing rhythm with violent muscle contracting spasms, pushing the air from his lungs so his first breath came as an audible, “Aah” as he gulped to refill them.

Opening his eyes was a mistake and he quickly shut them again and lay his head back on the smooth comfortless pillow of the clinic’s sleep couch, unable to regulate the painfully loud beating of his heart and sudden shortness of breath. His senses were overwhelmed as he experienced a hyper awareness of the Living Force. Even the sterile emptiness of the clinic’s recovery room buzzed with the static charge of living energy.

He found himself performing a calming exercise he had learned as a very young child, one of his earliest memories of the crèche at the Jedi Temple.

He drew a breath and held it tightly, contracting and tensing his muscles, counting with the beat of his heart. With a slow exhale he let everything go, the tightness, his emotions, his instinctive need for control, easing away the tension of each muscle until he was limp and empty. He repeated the process, paying attention to the contrast, allowing the powerful current of the Living Force to pass through him. Slowly his heart rate and breathing returned to normal.

Once again he opened his eyes. The Force was still bright around him, but his awareness had now subsided to a level where he could function. He sat up carefully and stretched, feeling light and loose. He knew immediately that the healing trance had worked. A shining silver medical droid beside the bed whirred to life at his first movement and immediately began to take readings of his life systems.

Qui-Gon ignored the droid’s instructions to lie still and stood up, causing it to cluck disapprovingly. He took a deep breath and was immediately struck with a powerful sense of well being, more so than he had ever experienced from a healing trance. The Force around him swirled with lightness and he was filled with an emotion he could not quite identify, anticipation, expectation? Hope? Maybe. He didn’t know, but he did not let it bother him. He had long ago stopped trying to name his feelings, wasted effort and distraction from the important task of feeling them.

Instead of studying the emotion he let it wash over him, and immediately thought of Obi-Wan and his restlessness. Despite what his young padawan probably believed, he had not dismissed the boy’s apprehension.

No, he had not doubted that his padawan had sensed something, Qui-Gon would be the first to admit that his student was more in tuned to the future than his master. But Obi-Wan’s feeling had lacked direction, at least none that the inexperienced boy could recognize or put in to words. And in the Jedi master’s experience, tenuous bad feelings about the future were best ignored. He had always found his way in the moment.

And besides, the future was always in motion, as Yoda was eternally fond of saying. Better to live in the here and now.

But it seemed the moment had come.

Qui-Gon shouldered past the fussing droid to the cupboard where his clothes were hung and quickly began to dress. He was just pulling on his boots when Marayanna, apparently alerted to his consciousness by some communication from the attendant droid, came into the room.

“You’re awake.” The healer seemed uncharacteristically distracted, barely glancing at him, turning instead to study the datapad readout handed to her by the droid.

She said nothing as the droid summarized the data for her in the low precise, slightly feminine tones, characteristic of most medical droids. A voice program chosen for the soothing affect it had on many species, and on this droid apparently in need of fine tuning. Its voice synthesizer pitched fractionally higher than the acceptable range as it launched into a disclaimer, accepting no responsibility for damage to the patient’s health caused by the patient’s own lack of cooperation.

As Qui-Gon waited patiently for the healer to speak, fully prepared to politely ignore whatever medical advice she was about to give him, he realized that she had not really been listening. He knew she had little use for medical droids, but he sensed that this was something else entirely.

He looked at her closely for the first time and realized that something was terribly wrong. She was upset. Fear and uncertainty colored the small movements of her hands as she fingered a tool on her belt. She seemed at a loss for words and she had yet to look him in the eyes.

Qui-Gon was surprised, Marayanna was anything if not direct. She was one of those rare beings who always said what they thought. In the short time he had known her, they’d had many frank discussions on difficult topics, regret, guilt, death and suffering. So he was puzzled as to what would make her afraid to face him. Or more exactly, he had suddenly put his finger on it, what was she afraid to tell him?

Obi-Wan.

“Tell me.” Disuse and the sudden rush of worry made his voice sound hoarse and unfamiliar.

She looked at him now with tired defeated blue eyes. “You need to rest.”

He just stared down at her with that impassive immovable look she was becoming so familiar with. She sighed and tried again, “Qui-Gon, lie down, endangering your health won’t help him. I have sent out a search team and I will let you know as soon as they find anything.”

Qui-Gon said nothing and Marayanna wondered how much he already knew. She had always gotten the feeling whenever she told him anything about his apprentice that she was not telling him anything he did not already know, but she was never sure. Jedi, she thought irritably, were they all this cryptic or was he a particular case.

One thing she was sure of, nothing on this pathetic little moon had the power to deter him once he had set his mind to something. She might just as well tell him everything.

“A speeder is missing and Obi-Wan just seems to have vanished. There was an explosion outside the walls, in the middle of the night...” She could not finish the sentence, there was no need, they both knew full well the danger of leaving the compound before light.

“Show me.”

“Please, Qui-Gon, it would be better for you to rest and let me ascertain the effects of the treatment on your system. Exertion now could be particularly dangerous.”

“Show me.” He repeated, quietly but firmly. He took his light saber from the table and clipped it to his belt. His arms folded across his chest, his dark eyes looked at her expectantly, waiting.

Marayanna sighed, “Alright, follow me. But I’m keeping an eye on you. The first sign of any problem and back to bed with you, even if I have to drag you myself.”



Though she was tall, she felt like nothing next to the master Jedi’s imposing height and she doubted she could really carry out her threat, even before he had strapped on that light saber.

Still she stared him down defiantly and waited for the slightest nod of his head to affirm that she had made her point before she finally turned and led him outside.

It really had been so quiet here before these Jedi had arrived.

&

 

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azizah 
Registered: Sep '06
13901_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 5:33pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
Ok, that seemed a little short and I am not around next week so...

&

Outside the morning air was surprisingly cool, but then technically it was only just morning, the first slim edge of sunlight had only moments ago broken the horizon. The distant trees stood black against the brightening sky and the ground loomed in shadows. The air was stagnant. Lingering smoke trapped by the morning dampness pooled low to the ground, swirling around Qui-Gon’s boots as he slowly walked the perimeter of a single perfect charred circle of earth. At the far edge of the circle, the farthest point from the walls of the clinic, he stopped, folded his arms across his chest and stared into the distance.

Eiva stood nearby, electrobinoculars pressed to her face. She turned in a slow sweeping search of the horizon, and then purposefully turned back to search again over ground she had just covered, her movements unhurried. Her desperation only made her more methodical.

Marayanna walked up behind the young girl and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Eiva paused and lowered the binoculars but did not turn, her eyes distant, her young face tight and closed, unreachable. She said something in a low voice, shrugged off the hand, and returned to her scanning.

After a few unsuccessful attempts to get the girl’s attention, Marayanna gave up and drifted off to supervise a pair of cleanup droids, occasionally talking in low tones into a comm unit.

The healer kept her eye on Qui-Gon as promised. If she had been afraid that he would overexert himself, she need not have worried. He did not move from his place amidst the debris and destruction, motionless and expressionless.

She watched from a distance for some time before she made her decision. She had just taken a determined step in his direction when her comm unit sounded with a distinct two toned chime. Marayanna answered, listened briefly, her face falling in dismay. After a wary last look at the Jedi master, she reluctantly turned back toward the clinic and to deal with the latest crisis.

Workers from the clinic and a handful of droids used great shovels to lift mangled bodies and unidentifiable scraps of Bala onto grav-sleds. Some wore breathers and those with none had stripped off tunics and belts to wind round their noses and mouths, trying to mask the putrid stench of burnt flesh and fur. They kept their heads down as they worked, careful not to look at the Jedi Master.

No one knew what to say to him, he just stood there, saying nothing, doing nothing, as emotionless as a droid. They worked silently and quickly in the half light, each dreading to be the first to find what they all expected to find, a bit of cloth, the melted remains of a light saber, or something worse. Something that might shatter that great mask of stoicism, they neither understood nor admired.

Qui-Gon was grateful that no one spoke to him, he had no use for their pity, the air was heavy with the weight of their despair, and each breath filled him with weariness where there had been only lightness a short time ago.

He took an uncertain step forward and his boot kicked something hard in the blackened earth. He squatted to pick it up. The object was a small cylinder, easily held between his finger and thumb, unmistakable burn marks scored one end, and although he knew instantly what it was, he stayed crouched low to the ground and pretended to study it closely. He needed a minute to still his thoughts.

Obi-Wan was unharmed, he had no doubt of that, at any other time the bright sense of victory flying across the bond from his apprentice might have made him smile. But instead of easing the worry from his face it only increased the tense lines across his forehead, setting his jaw and turning the lines of his mouth down into a hard frown.

The joy winging across their bond had no color of sacrifice, it was bright and clear and unadulterated. That feeling was entirely his own. And that was what disturbed him.

Qui-Gon was certain of one thing, the Force had called and the boy had answered for all he was worth.

Do, don’t ask. The Force before all things.

Perfect. Exactly what one would expect from the padawan of the infamous Qui-Gon Jinn.

It had always been Qui-Gon’s way, nothing before the Force, not the law or the senate, not the Jedi code or the Council, not his own hopes or well-being, sometimes not even reason or logic.

He allowed himself a sigh and wearily wondered how, after hard years of surrendering all to the will of the Force, that he was now so unprepared. Had he expected anything different from his own padawan? Had he really hoped for something less for Obi-Wan?

And for just a moment he sensed a future for his padawan that was filled with great heartache and sorrow, regret and pain.

It was only then that he understood. He had carried the burden of his failures for so long that he had failed to see that his true test was not to overcome his troubled past. No, his true test was to accept the burden of his success.

He stood in the morning chill, pulled his cloak more tightly around him, feeling as dull and heavy as a stone, and found himself in an all too familiar place.

And he let it all go.

He owned nothing. His fears, his failures, the emptiness and the loss had no hold on him. Other feeling were harder to let go, his pride in his padawan, his hopes for the future, for himself and for Obi-Wan, but these did not belong to him either. His life belonged to the Force. He had found he could live no other way.

Eiva let out a small cry.

Qui-Gon saw it too. A mere speck at the edge of his vision flashing brilliant for an instant as the slowly rising sun finally topped the tallest trees, light covering the distance in an instant. It moved toward them with steady purpose.

“He’s alright. Obi-Wan is alright.”

Day came quickly now, the sun chasing away the last shadows of night and whispering color into the lifeless world around him. A breeze stirred the green leaves of the trees and the tall yellow grass, revealing gleams of hidden gold to the soft morning light.

The sun warmed one side of Qui-Gon’s face, making him blink to clear his vision. He watched the colors held in the moment before they were set in the full light of day. He thought only of the beauty of the fragile light and the radiance of Obi-Wan’s joy and the warm comfort of the sun on his face. The Force surrounded him, smooth and plain and full of obvious shining promise.

&


 

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Valairy_Scot 
Title: PT Rewrite Winner
Registered: Sep '05
19543_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 5:57pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
Qui-Gon was certain of one thing, the Force had called and the boy had answered for all he was worth.

Do, don’t ask. The Force before all things.

Perfect. Exactly what one would expect from the padawan of the infamous Qui-Gon Jinn.

It had always been Qui-Gon’s way, nothing before the Force, not the law or the senate, not the Jedi code or the Council, not his own hopes or well-being, sometimes not even reason or logic.

He allowed himself a sigh and wearily wondered how, after hard years of surrendering all to the will of the Force, that he was now so unprepared. Had he expected anything different from his own padawan? Had he really hoped for something less for Obi-Wan?

And for just a moment he sensed a future for his padawan that was filled with great heartache and sorrow, regret and pain.

It was only then that he understood. He had carried the burden of his failures for so long that he had failed to see that his true test was not to overcome his troubled past. No, his true test was to accept the burden of his success.


Wow. Indeed, the price of success. Wonderful update(s).

 

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http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there.
Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping.
Writes on inspiration, not a schedule.
Proud master of several padawans
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dianethx 
Registered: Mar '02
46246_TFN Turns "10"
Date Posted: 4/8 6:40pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
Do, don’t ask. The Force before all things.

Perfect. Exactly what one would expect from the padawan of the infamous Qui-Gon Jinn.

It had always been Qui-Gon’s way, nothing before the Force, not the law or the senate, not the Jedi code or the Council, not his own hopes or well-being, sometimes not even reason or logic.

He allowed himself a sigh and wearily wondered how, after hard years of surrendering all to the will of the Force, that he was now so unprepared. Had he expected anything different from his own padawan? Had he really hoped for something less for Obi-Wan?

And for just a moment he sensed a future for his padawan that was filled with great heartache and sorrow, regret and pain.

It was only then that he understood. He had carried the burden of his failures for so long that he had failed to see that his true test was not to overcome his troubled past. No, his true test was to accept the burden of his success.


I really thought this captured Qui-Gon and his beliefs so very well. The burden of his success, indeed. Beautifully done!

Great job.

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08
Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434
Master to jedidas3
Impeach Bush!
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Bastet 
Registered: Dec '99
13594_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 6:54pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
Wow, those were both really excellent posts. love

I loved Qui-Gon's mixed reaction to Obi-Wan's unquestioning surrender to the will of the Force. But it was sad how he sensed a future for Obi-Wan of great heartache and sorrow, regret and pain. Especially sense we know that that is what happens! cry

But why is Obi-Wan so happy? thinking Can't wait for the next post! grin

 

-----signature-----
"Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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earlybird-obi-wan 
Registered: Aug '06
6130_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 8:54pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
Loved it. Qui-Gon recovered and Obi-Wan safe.

Fantastic updates applause

 

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writer and Star Wars fan
FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link]
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Gkilkenny 
Registered: Mar '04
7963_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 4/8 9:40pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
hopefully the joy Obi-Wan feels has to do with healing everyone.
Excellent couple of posts. hugs

 

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Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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Cole_Kenobi 
Registered: Aug '05
44084_Ewan McGregor
Date Posted: 4/9 3:51pm Subject: RE: One Path (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Oc's) Updated 4/08
Beautifully written. rose

Especially loved the part about how no one should expect less from the padawan of Qui-gon Jinn, following the Force so willfully.

Loved the imaginary of Jinn standing there, and the sunrise coming upon them fast, showing the disolation of the scene.

Splendid updates. Enjoyed reading them. Cliffhanger is still lingering, but Jinn's omission that Obi-wan is alright, was a bit chilling.

Can't wait for more. happy

 

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