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Topic:
Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update September 28th!~
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Itachi-Uchiha
Registered:
Jul '07
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Date Posted:
5/18 8:44pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update 4/22!
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Ratna:BTW, just wanted to say, the pacing in this story is superb. (I went back and read it again from the beginning... )
Just great writing all around!
Thanks so much for the kind words.  Sometimes it’s tough knowing what to put in, leave out and when to move ahead.
XANI: I am sure that Dooku has yet to play his cards.
Those dang Sith are patient and won’t be rushed. I guess we’ll have to play along with his plans as well. 
Gkilkenny: Qui-Gon is persistant, and it paid off.
Yup. The man has no idea when to cut his losses and run. 
Diane: I wonder how long Qui-Gon would have let the match go otherwise....
I don’t think he would have allowed it to go any further. Even a maverick has his limits. 
Jedidas3: Thanks again for sharing your incredible story with us!
And thank you so much for reading and replying.  It makes all the hard work worthwhile.
Bek: I'm glad Qui-Gon was able to get through to him, though he had to sneak through the back door since the front door was locked
Maybe that’s where Xan learned to always have a back door. 
KELIA: Why am I not surprised Dooku found a way to twist this to his advantage?
Because he’s a sly, evil old man? 
Qui-Gina-Jinn: I love it! You had me caught from the very beginning!
Glad to have you aboard.  Hope you continue to enjoy the ride.
Leona: Awww and yay... I liked that alot.
Those two have a few more aww moments down the road.
Wolf_kenobi: Yes! Xan is awake!
And I’m sure he will be a docile and obedient Jedi from here on out. 
Chapter Twenty-Six- Small Confrontations
He slept little that night, his mind too busy trying to sort out his feelings about what Qui-Gon had told him. Even now, hours later, the words continued to reverberate in his head.
“My heart would not allow me to just walk away.”
Qui-Gon Jinn had every reason to despise him, and Xanatos had resigned himself to the fact that his relationship with the Jedi Master had been damaged beyond repair because of the horrible choices Xanatos had made the last few years. His mind refused to accept that Qui-Gon had somehow been able to forgive him for the past wrongs. How could Jinn forgive what Xanatos himself found unforgivable?
Opening his eyes, Xanatos took a moment just to gather his strength before sitting up. He was forced to lean against the pillows and catch his breath, the small activity sapping him of much of his energy. The weakness that permeated his body was difficult to accept since, like most Jedi, he was accustomed to being active. His inability to intercede during the sparring match the previous night had only driven home the poor state of his body. He was determined to make up for lost time.
Sliding his legs to the side of the bed, he gingerly scooted his body to the edge, eyes glued on the nearby chair. A deep breath before he slid off the bed, a wince convulsing his features as bare feet landed on the cold tiled floor. Xanatos kept his sights on the chair as he forced trembling legs to carry him the short distance. No sooner had he reached his destination than his body gave out, legs crumbling as he collapsed onto the seat. Sweat beaded his forehead and upper lip, his limbs shaking as he gasped for much needed breath.
It was in this state that Master Milcah found him as she burst into his room. The hopeful look on her face quickly morphed into one of unadulterated delight as she found herself on the receiving end of a guilty look from a pair of lucid, deep blue eyes. Xanatos pulled back in surprise when she suddenly flew forward and cupped his face between her hands.
“Xanatos! I scarcely allowed myself to believe the good news when Qui-Gon spoke with me this morning.” Her eyes grew misty, a trembling smile curving her lips. “It warms my heart to find you in this condition. We had begun to fear the worst.
It was difficult to keep his composure beneath the genuine warmth and concern in her expression. Especially considering the fact that he had been far from honest by playing at being unresponsive. As he sat up in the chair her soft hands were there to aid him in his efforts, one lingering long enough to tuck a growing lock of ebony hair behind his ear.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you, Master. I’ve been aware of my surroundings for several days now.”
His confession didn’t earn the reproachful look he had been expecting, but rather a small smile of understanding as she wrapped slim fingers around his wrist in order to check his pulse rate.
“You needed time to heal,” she stated before moving over to list her findings on his chart. “What’s important is that you are aware now and we can begin to move forward. How are you feeling physically? Any pain or discomfort from your injuries?”
Xanatos shook his head and waved a hand toward his legs. “No pain. I’m just incredibly weak and unsteady.”
“That’s normal considering the injuries you sustained and the inactivity.” Her expression was solemn as she finished her notes and turned to study him. “You know that we will have to discuss what happened in the near future. The Council’s patience will only last so long.”
“I know.” Xanatos looked away as he formed his next words. “I’m sure Dooku has painted a very dark and twisted picture of what happened.”
“He tried,” Milcah admitted while moving forward and resting a hand on his shoulder. “Fortunately we already knew the truth of what happened.”
Xanatos turned a look of confusion toward her. “How is that possible?”
“You have your young friend, Quinlan to thank for that.” As his look of puzzlement increased, Milcah explained further. “While you were in the bacta tank, Quinlan stole into the room where your clothes were and was able to see what had happened. I don’t know who was more grateful for his ability, Qui-Gon and me, or young Quinlan himself.”
Shaken by her words, Xanatos’ head fell forward. “He shouldn’t have been subjected to such dark visions.”
“It is his gift and he must learn to accept what the Force decides to show him. We can only help him understand. I know he will be overjoyed to see you alert.” Squeezing his shoulder, Milcah started for the door. “I’m going to arrange for some food and a shower for you. I’ll be back in a few hours to check on your progress.”
Her exit was halted as she paused long enough to turn back and offer him a reassuring smile. “No matter what happens, you will not have to do this by yourself.”
Once the door slid shut behind her, Xanatos slumped back in the chair as he considered what she had told him. It troubled him to think of the young initiate being privy to his actions while on the mission and later on Korriban. No good could come from Quinlan Vos’ interest in him. The boy would only be tainted by the demons that dogged Xanatos’ every step, and that was a risk he was not willing to take.
“Master Milcah, Quin asked me to check in because he had an early flight class.”
The childish voice was one Xanatos had become very familiar with over the last week, the owner’s forward progress into the room halted when Xanatos shifted his head in order to face the boy. Multi-hued eyes widened almost comically, Kenobi taking an instinctual step backwards as he realized that the patient was not only awake, but had pinned him with an accusing glare.
“I…I thought Master Milcah was in here.“ Shock gradually gave way to suspicion, the boy’s cleft chin jutting forward in defiance as he braved the piercing cold stare. “How long have you been like this?”
Xanatos bit back a bark of laughter as the boy turned the tables on him. “Long enough to have felt you poking at me and accusing me of employing Dun möch. I wonder if you’ll be as brave now as you were when you thought I was helpless?”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
Running a curious glance over the boy, Xanatos tilted his head to the side before voicing the question foremost on his mind. “Why don’t you like me? I mean it’s not like you truly know anything about me other than Temple gossip.”
A slight shifting of his weight was the only sign of nervousness Obi-Wan showed as he answered the query with the brutal honesty of youth. “I sense that you may hurt Quin one day.”
“I can promise you that I would never intentionally hurt your young friend.” When his words were met with open skepticism, Xanatos felt his ire begin to rise. Who was this child to question his integrity? “Even if I did, it’s not like there is anything you could do about it, imp.”
Those captivating eyes glowed with resolve as they locked with his. “Maybe not now, but someday I will be skilled enough to match you.”
Grudging respect for the boy’s loyalty filled Xanatos. He knew that Ganner would defend him just as staunchly, and had already many times over the years. Weary from both his journey to the chair and the verbal sparring with a mere crechling, Xanatos waved a dismissive hand toward the door.
“Leave me be, imp. I’m too tired to play childish games.”
Kenobi retreated to the door, pausing long enough to shoot him a last warning glare. “I will be watching you, Xanatos Akshay.”
Xanatos stared at the closed door in bemusement, a smile curving his lips as he replayed the confrontation. Something told him that this wouldn’t be the last time he and young Kenobi butted heads.
-----signature-----
Headstrong : http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27188681/p1/?5 Xanatos/Quinlan/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Dooku Updated Sept 28th In Memoriam: Itachi Uchiha
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
5/18 10:16pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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I wonder who is the most headstrong Xanatos or Obi-Wan
They do appear to have some issues with each other mainly Obi-Wan.
Xanatos can relax a bit now he knows the council do not believe Dooku.
A very nice chapter, looking forward to more. 
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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KELIA
Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
5/19 3:17am
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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I will be watching you, Xanatos Akshay
I'm glad to see Obi-Wan showing some concern for Quin.
Though I am grateful he was able to see and relate the truth of what happened.
Great update
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jedidas3
Registered:
Apr '07
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Date Posted:
5/19 4:24am
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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Xanatos stared at the closed door in bemusement, a smile curving his lips as he replayed the confrontation. Something told him that this wouldn’t be the last time he and young Kenobi butted heads.
He's probably right!
Excellent chapter and I'm looking forward to more! Soon! 
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ratna
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
5/19 12:59pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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Ah, Xani and Obi have got the old love-hate thing going there, don't they!   
Gotta love it!
Great chapter.
-----signature-----
Ou n'a tu pas tellement aime quelqu'un que tu avais peur de l'aimer au peur des souvenirs?
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wolf_kenobi
Registered:
Nov '07
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Date Posted:
5/19 5:40pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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Superb post!
I bet there will be some interesting head-butting between Obi and Xan over Quin's welfare in the future...
Looking forward to more!
-----signature-----
Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God. -Epicurus
Proud Vegan
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bek
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
5/20 7:48pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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I'm glad that Xan has a confidant in Master Milcah. He seems to really trust her. And it's good that he's thinking about what Qui-Gon told him. Perhaps their relationship will heal in time.
And I liked how Xan baited Obi-Wan, and of course Obi didn't disappoint with his reply. Those two are definitely bound to butt heads as Xan put it.
-----signature-----
Update 10/2/08- Chap. 40- Life Beyond the Code (Obi-Wan/Anakin) - http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20820324 Update 9/3/08- Chap. 26 - Not Myself - (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon/Oc's) - Before the Saga Update 9/3/08 - Part 6 - Strength to Begin Anew
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dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
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Date Posted:
5/21 6:23pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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I'm glad that Xan was finally able to pull himself together and start living again. LOL on Obi-Wan being so protective of Quin.
Good job.
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XANl
Registered:
May '06
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Date Posted:
5/21 6:44pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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This confrontation seems to be where Obi Wan and Xanatos
could not bond in friendship.
Glad Xan's awake now and not lost in the dark dreams..
This was a great post, it left me waiting for more of the story.
next post! soon please
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Magier
Registered:
Jul '07
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Date Posted:
5/22 10:15am
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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I really hope to see Xan and Obi butt heads again in the future.  So sweet how protective young Obi is over his friend.
It has to be odd for Xan to find out that Qui still cares. I hope to see more healing in their relationship.
-----signature-----
No Legacy So Rich : Xan,OC, Obi, Qui (9/28)
Seekers, Not Saints: SW/TB crossover (8/12)
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
5/24 3:02am
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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Xanatos should know the Jedi of all should be forgiving.
“I will be watching you, Xanatos Akshay.”
Awwww cute! Love protective Obi-Wan.
-----signature-----
Still crazy after all these years.
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bobafett15
Registered:
Jun '08
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Date Posted:
6/11 6:46am
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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Itachi? do u play swbf2 on the shattered planet server? This is DanAntilles! wow, what a surprise. I never knew u wrote. The story owns. If u finally get around to reading this post, tell people ive left the online gaming scene indefinitly b/c my dad's scared of virus's...we had to nuke our harddrive b/c of virus's, and now he wont let me get on...spread the word, i dont like leaving my fans hanging, capish? ty, and keep writing. this stuff is good. Anybody who reads as much as me can tell. That short story was better than alot of [i]books[i]ive ever read,like the republic commandos series. Anyway, u pwn, keep writing , spread the word where i went online.
-----signature-----
Verd ori'shya beskar'gam
a warrior is more than ones armour
my bio page, with full stories list-http://boards.theforce.net/ASP/user.asp?usr=bobafett15
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Itachi-Uchiha
Registered:
Jul '07
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Date Posted:
6/11 9:25pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update May 18th!
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Let's try this again. I almost had it posted but a tornado came through. 
Gkilkenny: Xanatos can relax a bit now he knows the council do not believe Dooku.
A little more room to breath but he still has no idea how the Council will react to his mission. And don’t forget that Dooku is still loose in the galaxy.
KELIA: I'm glad to see Obi-Wan showing some concern for Quin.
He’s a good one to have watching your back. Lucky Quin.
Jedidas3: Excellent chapter and I'm looking forward to more! Soon!
So glad you are still enjoying. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. It means so much.
Ratna: Ah, Xani and Obi have got the old love-hate thing going there, don't they!
I foresee them as always having that sort of relationship. Although as they grow older it may be more for show then anything else.
Wolf_kenobi: I bet there will be some interesting head-butting between Obi and Xan over Quin's welfare in the future...
Over a host of other things as well no doubt.
Bek: I'm glad that Xan has a confidant in Master Milcah. He seems to really trust her.
She has the honor of being one of the few he does trust. I don’t see that circle expanding much either.
Diane: I'm glad that Xan was finally able to pull himself together and start living again.
He’s working on it but still has a bumpy road ahead.
XANI: This confrontation seems to be where Obi Wan and Xanatos
could not bond in friendship.
Don’t give up on those two yet. Who knows what can change. Or who. 
Magier: It has to be odd for Xan to find out that Qui still cares. I hope to see more healing in their relationship.
Oh I think you can rest assured that those two aren’t done with one another yet.
Leona: Awwww cute! Love protective Obi-Wan.
He’s a keeper that one.
Bobafett15: Itachi? do u play swbf2 on the shattered planet server?
Sorry but that isn’t me. Glad you enjoyed what you read anyway.
I need to find the time to update this at the other site. If not you guys may catch up. Thanks so much for reading and enjoying.
Chapter Twenty-Seven- Bonds of friendship- Old and New
The next several days were some of the most challenging in Xanatos nearly twenty-five years of living. He spent the majority of his days being pushed and prodded by the physical therapists. They ignored his trembling muscles, the sweat that drenched his skin and clothes, and most importantly, the curses he rained down upon their heads as he tired. Only the knowledge that they were acting in his best interest kept him from refusing to follow orders. That and the fact that he was so worn out by the end of the day he fell into a sleep so deep not even the Sith demons could disturb him.
Master Milcah had kept a watchful eye on his progress while respecting his need for time. They both knew that once he was healed physically, the details of what happened between him and Dooku would have to be addressed. The Council would only wait so long before they demanded explanations. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he was afraid they would view the events on Korriban as yet another failure and banish him from the Order. That would leave him with only one choice. Return to Telos with his tail between his legs. The mere thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had never failed at anything he tried and although he knew the citizens would welcome him back with open arms, he couldn’t find any desire to resume that life. The Jedi wouldn’t get rid of him so easily.
Tired from the latest round of exercises, he lowered his aching body into a chair with a muffled groan. The hovering therapist withdrew once certain he was safely ensconced in the chair, a weary smile from Xanatos assuring him that his patient wanted time alone. Wiping the sweat from his face and neck with a nearby towel, Xanatos found his thoughts once again drifting toward his former mentor. Qui-Gon had come to check on him several days ago, the Jedi Master on the way to the docking bay to depart for a mission. The meeting had been more than a little uncomfortable, neither man knowing exactly what to say to the other.
Naturally cynical by nature, Xanatos couldn’t help but wonder if Qui-Gon regretted the time and effort he had put into finding and helping his fallen former apprentice. The Jedi Master had wished him well with his rehabilitation before hurrying off to catch the waiting transport. Xanatos was certain it would be the last time he was paid a visit by Qui-Gon Jinn and the thought left him feeling oddly bereft.
The door slid open and he was pleased to find Ganner hovering in the doorway with a guilty flush staining his tanned skin. They hadn’t had a chance to speak since the incident several days ago in the training salle. It was painfully obvious his friend expected to be on the receiving end of his anger, a fact which Xanatos wasn’t above taking advantage of. Biting back a smirk, he knew his expression showed just the right amount of hurt betrayal as he turned his face away from his friend.
“I’m really not up to more of your charades.” He experienced a brief twinge of guilt as waves of remorse radiated from his best friend's direction.
“I am truly sorry for my part in the match the other day. I suppose I was just as desperate as Master Qui-Gon to get you to come out of your shell.” Ganner cautiously approached and perched on the edge of a nearby chair as he studied his friend. “Seeing you looking more like your old self more than makes up for any anger you may be feeling toward me.”
Xanatos pursed his lips in thought as he shifted to face the other man again. The skin beneath Ganner's eyes and around the bridge of his nose was still noticeably discolored from the blow he’d taken to the face. The injury had to have been painful.
“He didn’t break it, did he?”
White teeth flashed him a cocky grin. “Not for lack of trying. It was just badly bruised.”
Ganner appeared puzzled by something and finally spoke his thoughts aloud. “I have to admit that I fully expected you to be plotting how best to strike out at Jai for his part in what happened.”
An emotion that may have been surprise crossed Xanatos’ pale features, a careless shrug following close on its heels. “The galaxy is full of people like Jai Maruk.”
Even though it was obvious Ganner had many questions about his friends surprising attitude, Ganner took the unspoken cue and changed the subject. “So how are you doing?”
“Gaining my strength back a little each day.” Xanatos tossed the towel aside. “Master Milcah thinks I should be able to leave the med center in a few days.”
Ganner shifted uncomfortably before broaching the subject they both knew was at the forefront of his thoughts. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Leaning back in the chair, Xanatos’ expression was thoughtful as he carefully formed his words. “Not in any detail. Let’s just say that I learned the hard way how sinister the dark side can be. A part of me was tainted by it during the Telos mess and I now know that I will struggle with it everyday of my life.”
“Struggle with it but also triumph over it,” Ganner reminded him with sober earnestness.
Xanatos’ smile was faintly mocking as he gestured toward his friend's attire. “Going somewhere again?”
“Another mission,” Ganner admitted as he adjusted the hood of his robe. “I wanted to stop by and check in with you before I took off.”
“Don’t worry yourself about me. By the time you get back I plan to be out of this place and working toward proving to the Council that I deserve to be knighted.”
Ganner leaned forward and clasped his forearm in a sign of affection before getting to his feet. “I’ll hold you to that. Take care old friend.”
“May the Force be with you, Ganner.” Xanatos’ smile lasted only until the door slid shut behind his friend. Left alone once again, his expression became brooding as he considered his bold claim.
So lost in thought, he failed to notice the arrival of yet another guest. He jumped as the newcomer cleared his throat, uneasy surprise filling him as his gaze locked with dark eyes. Quinlan shifted his weight, hands tucked behind his back as he bowed his head in respectful greeting.
“Forgive me for startling you, Padawan Akshay. If this is a bad time I can come back.”
Xanatos initial reaction was to send the boy away but he knew now was just as good a time as any to discuss what had occurred. Waving a hand toward the chair Ganner had just vacated, he waited until Quinlan had perched on the edge before opening a line of dialogue.
“Master Milcah tells me that you and your little friend Kenobi have been coming by to see me. I think perhaps we should discuss the reason behind your interest in me.”
The boy’s cheeks flamed with mortification, head falling forward in order to hide his features. “I don’t really know how to explain it. The Force has told me from the instant I first saw you that my destiny is somehow connected to yours. You can understand the feelings inside me because you have them as well.”
Expelling a calming breath of air, Xanatos sat forward, the movement jerking Quinlan’s head up. “You saw and felt the anger and rage I was feeling while on my mission?”
The boy nodded his head, the tangle of ebony braids swinging around his face. Xanatos felt himself unable to meet the bright gaze and focused his attention on his clasped hands.
“The feelings of rage and thoughts of hate I experienced are not those of a Jedi. I am not the type of person you should be looking to for guidance in any matter.” He shot the boy a solemn stare from beneath lowered lashes. “I am tainted and you should stay as far away from me as possible.”
Quinlan was quiet for so long, Xanatos began to fear he had succeeded in terrifying him. When the boy finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. Xanatos having to strain to hear his words.
“If those thoughts and feelings make you tainted, then so am I. The visions I‘ve seen, the thoughts I’ve had…Have you ever heard voices that told you to do bad things? I have, and no one understands.”
The boy’s admission rendered Xanatos temporarily speechless and Quinlan hurriedly continued on.
“Master Tholme recently told me that as long as I deny the dark side in my heart, I have not crossed over. I saw what happened. You denied the dark side in your heart, not once, but twice. Even Dooku, a Jedi Master, was unable to resist..” Those dark eyes seemed to peer into the deepest regions of Xanatos’ heart. “You are a Jedi Knight.”
His eyes stinging, Xanatos cleared his throat as he averted his face. “You are young and impressionable. Your young friend, Kenobi senses that I could one day hurt you and he is probably right.”
“It’s Obi-Wan’s nature to worry too much. He means well but doesn’t really understand.” Quinlan stood and offered him a bow before moving over to the door where he paused for one last defiant remark. “Master Yoda tells us that it is useless to try and run from our destiny.”
Stunned by the boy’s audacity, Xanatos could do nothing but stare dumbly at the closed door.
-----signature-----
Headstrong : http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27188681/p1/?5 Xanatos/Quinlan/Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Dooku Updated Sept 28th In Memoriam: Itachi Uchiha
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
6/11 11:03pm
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update June 12th!
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Wow a tornado, I hope it missed you.
Great update I will be happy when Xanatos is Knighted.
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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KELIA
Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
6/12 3:13am
Subject:
RE: Headstrong - AU - Xan/Quinlan/Qui/Obi/Dooku -Update June 12th!
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I learned the hard way how sinister the dark side can be.
Sometimes that is the best way to truly learn something.
“Master Yoda tells us that it is useless to try and run from our destiny.”
Right he is.
I hope Xanatos will start to trust himself not to turn to the darkside.
Great update
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