| Author |
Topic:
Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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DarthBerryStraw
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
9/3/07 8:25pm
Subject:
Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
- Date Edited:
5/14 10:18am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
DarthBerryStraw
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Title:Smothering
Author(s):DarthBerryStraw
Timeframe:Pre-TPM
Characters:OC Master/Padawan team - Lomina and Atril
Genre:Humor
Summary:Sometimes tent sleeping is a little too much for a Jedi Padawan.
Notes:I wrote this over a year ago, when it was too hot to sleep.  I revisited it today, and decided I should share. I thought it would be a nice close to this Labor Day, as all of us in the Northern Hemisphere say goodbye to the hot weather and welcome autumn.
5/14/08 - Unlocked due to interest.
**********
Atril couldn’t breathe.
Something was smothering her. A cloak of heavy fabric seemed to wrap itself around her nose and mouth, restricting her ability to breathe. The thick, muddy atmosphere was closing in on her. Closer and closer until she managed to croak out a few words from her parched lips.
“Master, it’s too hot to sleep. There’s no cooling system here, and it has to be more than one hundred degrees, because I know I’m boiling!”
Atril made a deep sound uncannily like a bantha, and kicked her light blanket to the end of her sleeping pad. She sat up quickly, crossing her arms forcefully over her chest and blew a puff of air into her sweat soaked bangs. Beside her in the canvas tent, Lomina stirred.
“Focus your attention on something else, Padawan. Distract yourself from your current unsatisfactory conditions. Count banthas if you must. Meditate.” Her cool voice carried to Atril’s ears, but only managed to aggravate her Padawan further.
“You truly are a strange one, Master. You actually expect to sleep in this heat and humidity?”
“I was looking forward to a good night rest leaving me refreshed and alert for the negotiations tomorrow morning,” Lomina opened her eyes, propping herself up on both elbows. “It seems I set my hopes too high, seeing as my insolent little Padawan will not be a big girl and settle down.”
Atril turned to face Lomina. “I’ve hardly said anything, Master! I said a few sentences, unlike your entire rant.”
Lomina gave her Padawan a withering look. “Not aloud, Atril. Your thoughts tend to be a little noisy at times. I think I’m the only Master in the entire Order to encourage her Padawan to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself once in a while. Now sleep!”
Atril took several deep breaths and flopped onto her back with an echoing thump. Several rude thoughts crossed her mind, her master’s frown deepening with each one, before she began to feel drowsy. Slowly, her thoughts began to drift beyond the weather.
Bzzztcroakack
Bzzztcroakack
Suddenly, she was wide awake once more.
“Master, what’s that noise?”
Lomina brought her hands to her face and suppressed a groan. “It’s only the local insects, Atril. Don’t get so excited.”
Bzzztcroakack
“They’re annoying me.”
“Oh, what an incredible feat the bugs have accomplished!”
“Very funny, Master. Now there is a zero percent chance I’m going to sleep,” Atril concluded.
“You were quiet a few moments ago, I ask that you be quiet again. You seemed to be doing a perfectly fine job keeping your thoughts away from the heat. Do the same thing with the insects.”
“But Master,” Atril whined. “I stopped complaining about the heat because my mind was focused on the bugs!”
“You’re a Jedi Padawan, and I know you are perfectly capable of surviving in this heat and ignoring the bugs.”
“There aren’t bugs trying to find a mate beside my sleep couch at the Temple, Master,” Atril stated dryly.
“What makes you assume they aren’t already mating?” Lomina teased, a rare smile creeping to her face.
“That’s just disgusting.”
“Yes, so disgusting you don’t want to think about it.”
“Of course, Master!”
“Then don’t!”
“Fine,” Atril sighed, rolling over.
Several moments of verbal silence passed, without Atril making a comment about insects or the horrible humid, heat. Lomina could feel her limbs growing heavier as she sank into a light sleep.
Silence was golden. Very rare.
“It’s too hot to breathe.”
Lomina gently rubbed her eyes. “You seemed to be breathing well a few minutes ago.”
“Yeah, well, I think it just got about ten degrees hotter.”
“If anything the temperature has dropped now, since the suns have been set for close to a standard hour.”
Lomina could feel Atril pouting stubbornly beside her and made mental notes of the punishments she desperately wanted to dish out.
“Master, I’m going to die.”
“That’s lovely, Padawan.”
“Why aren’t you dying?”
“I’m a Master,” Lomina grinned. “Besides, you’re being too loud for me to die.”
“I miss the Temple,” Atril whined. “I know it’s still the same, cool temperature. There is generally good food, and no mating insects. I can actually breathe freely and feel safe.”
Lomina’s face physically brightened at the sudden prospect that crossed her mind.
“My, aren’t you a spoiled little Jedi! Back when I was a Padawan, my Master wouldn’t have put up with this . . . ”
Atril was sound asleep within minutes. Her limbs spread across the tent, her breathing free and even. Nothing could annoy her while she slept.
Turning her back to Atril and shifting to a more comfortable position, Lomina laughed softly.
“Works every time.”
-----signature-----
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” - ... Tara UDCS: Of All the Witty Titles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/29095691/p1/?7
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Commander-DWH
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
9/3/07 9:24pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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'Hopefully Humourous'? You appear to have succeeded.  Very cute! I love little vigs like this, portraying Our Heroes in the most un-epic of situations (I wrote one about being cold last year- now we just need someone to write a vig complaining about moderate temperatures, and we'll have a matched set!).
Great work! 
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KELIA
Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
9/4/07 3:45am
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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Poor Atril!! At least she finally got some sleep.
Very cute
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JazzFox
Registered:
Oct '06
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Date Posted:
9/5/07 5:57am
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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This is a nice little piece. lol cute and funny! I like the portrayal of a less-than-perfect reaction to the situation, even Jedi get annoyed about little things. Very cool, thanks for sharing!
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correllian_ale
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
9/5/07 1:46pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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And Obi-Wan thought his Padawan was whinny!
Wonderful vignette Berry!
-----signature-----
Consider this my "throw back" jersey...  I govern my life around my own personal code of ethics, and I suggest that you do the same.
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
9/6/07 7:05am
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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“They’re annoying me.”
“Oh, what an incredible feat the bugs have accomplished!”
“Works every time.”
lol How very true!!
Delightful viggie!
-----signature-----
Still crazy after all these years.
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DarthBerryStraw
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
9/8/07 8:53pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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Commander-DWH : I'm very glad I succeeded! There's always something fun in writing our heroes as easily irritated humans like the rest of us.
KELIA: Yes, poor Atril. Thanks for reading!
JazzFox : I'm glad you enjoyed it! We all know Jedi aren't always as calm as they're portrayed.
correllian_ale: Yes, Atril is the most whiny OC I've ever written. Obi-Wan should be relieved Anakin wasn't this bad.
Healer_Leona : Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
-----signature-----
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” - ... Tara UDCS: Of All the Witty Titles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/29095691/p1/?7
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ardavenport
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
9/21/07 8:13pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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Atril has such a clever master.  And a patient one, too. Very cute. I suppose Jedi master have to put up with a lot sometimes.
-----signature-----
Links to all fics -- http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25405090&brd=10304&start=26223917 The Heart of the Jedi -- http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26013327 ---- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, JA and everything you wanted to know about lightsabers
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DarthBerryStraw
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
5/14 10:20am
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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ardavenport: I'm sure they have to put up with more than is humanly possible sometimes, but I guess that's why they're Masters!
Unlocked to due interest!
-----signature-----
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” - ... Tara UDCS: Of All the Witty Titles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/29095691/p1/?7
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p_stotts
Registered:
Jan '01
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Date Posted:
5/14 10:36am
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
- Date Edited:
5/14 10:37am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
p_stotts
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“Master, I’m going to die.”
“That’s lovely, Padawan.”
“Why aren’t you dying?”
“I’m a Master,” Lomina grinned. “Besides, you’re being too loud for me to die.”
LOL! I can just picture it. Thanks for making my day a bit more humorous.
-----signature-----
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for your life.
Proud master to Gkilkenny!
Stories in my bio.
9/19/2008 is National Talk Like A Pirate day in the U.S. Everyone else join in too! Arr! Avast ye landlubbers!
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dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
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Date Posted:
5/14 2:30pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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Very cute. I loved that the Master knew just what to say to get the kid to go to sleep.
Good job.
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DarthBerryStraw
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
5/15 8:33pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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p_stotts: You're welcome, and thanks for reading! I always try to bring a little laughter into somebody's life. 
dianethx: Thank you! I always like to think that Jedi Master's know the right thing to say in most situations, especially involving ones with their very close Padawans.
-----signature-----
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” - ... Tara UDCS: Of All the Witty Titles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/29095691/p1/?7
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monkeykelci
Registered:
Apr '08
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Date Posted:
5/17 11:41pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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Oh goodness, sounds like somthing that would really happen on 'one of those missions'! 
Poor, child, I know how she feels.
Right now, it's 11:40 and I can't sleep because of the fact it's too dang hot. 
Still.
Anyway, I absolutley LOVED this story. 
Made me laugh!
Good job!!
-----signature-----
Hockey players wear numbers
because you can’t always
identify the body with dental records.
Padawan Learner to Oddball_62!! =]
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brodiew
Registered:
Oct '05
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Date Posted:
9/4 7:58pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
- Date Edited:
9/4 8:05pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
brodiew
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After being introduced to these two in your new drabble thread, I thought I'd take a look at your profile and see if you had other work featuring this very interesting Master-Padawan team.
You did! This roadside farce was a lot of fun and shows how, regardless of the petulant back and forth, these two women really respect each other. Atril is a whiny handful and Lomina seems, just the patient, if willing, Master who is a equal sparring partner. It is very mother-daughter as I'm sure intended.
And the best way to get a padawan to tune out and fall asleep: start lecturing them. Excellent!
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DarthBerryStraw
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
9/6 9:56pm
Subject:
RE: Smothering - A Hopefully Humorous OC Vignette
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monkeykelci: Aw, I'm glad you loved it! I've had many similar nights. Intense heat while you're trying to sleep is miserable.
brodiew: I'm glad you liked Lomina and Atril enough to want to read more about them! This team was really put together by the Force, because as you say, they're equal sparring partners. Lomina has almost inhuman patience when it comes to dealing with Atril, which is essential to their partnership. The mother-daughter relationship will play a definite role in future fics.
-----signature-----
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” - ... Tara UDCS: Of All the Witty Titles http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/29095691/p1/?7
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