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Topic:
The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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moosemousse
Title: CR - FF:UK South
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
9/19/07 7:21am
Subject:
The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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Title: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
Author(s): moosemousse
Timeframe: A few years before TPM
Characters: D'Shan (OC) and the Force ghost of Jar Jar Binks
Genre: Humour
Summary: D'Shan gets a visit from the Force ghost of Jar Jar Binks during the night.
Notes: This is only a silly piece and is not to be taken seriously, I'm well aware that Jar Jar is still alive during this time frame, but I felt like tormenting my OC and this seemed like the funniest way to do it.
D'Shan woke with a start. Something was in his room, something glowing and dancing around like a loon. Whatever it was, it was now aware that D'Shan was awake.
"Meesa all sparkly glowy!" It said and jumped on D'Shan's bed. He squinted and the force ghost of a Gungan bleared into view.
"GET OFF ME!" bellowed D'Shan and swiped out. His hand sailed through the Force ghost but the Gungan jumped off the bed anyway. "Who the kriffing hell are you?"
"Meesa Jar Jar, but yousa can call me Jar Jar Binks. Meesa loves yousa!"
D'Shan shuddered visibly. This is just what he didn't want, the Force ghost of a crazy and demented Gungan in his quarters. He snatched his light sabre from where it rested and ignited the blade before throwing at the Force ghost. "Get out! Get out you karking &%$*%" his yelling turned into unintelligible grunts and he gave up trying to say anything.
Jar Jar span round as the sabre spun through his incorporeal body. He span round a few times before getting dizzy and sitting down suddenly. "That's no waysa to treat a guest!"
D'Shan growled and pulled his light sabre back using the Force. "You're not a guest, you were not invited, and you're certainly not welcome here!"
The Gungan pouted. "Meesa loves yous and meesa not leaving!" He crossed his arms across his chest and stuck his chin up indignantly, or at least trying to.
D'Shan groaned and slammed his palm into his forehead, dragging his hand down his face. "Is there any way I can make you leave?"
"Nosa, meesa loves yous!" Jar Jar jumped to his feet and began twirling around, "Let's dance, just meesa and yous!"
"I can't dance." He glared at Jar Jar with narrowed eyes.
"Meesa can teach yous!" The Gungan continued to spin.
"You're a Force ghost; you don't have a kriffing body."
Jar Jar stopped spinning and looked hurt, "no needs to be so nasty, meesa has feelings too."
"Go find someone who cares."
"Meesa founds you. Meesa loves yous." Jar Jar dropped to his knees and collapsed on D'Shan's bed and started to cry.
D'Shan cringed. He hated seeing grown men cry, and this was just the worst. What had he done to deserve this? "Oh kark off," he said, quickly adding "please?"
"Why yousa no like me?" Jar Jar looked up with pleading eyes. "Why does no one likes me?"
D'Shan glared at him. "Qui-Gon likes you."
Jar Jar's face lit up. "He does?"
D'Shan grinned evilly, "Yes, he does. He told me so himself. He even said he had some special candy for you."
"Yippee!" cried the Gungan, jumping up and spinning around like a buffoon.
"You have to go quickly now, or he might get hungry and eat it all."
Jar Jar stopped dancing and looked shocked, "meesa better hurry!" He began dancing away, "bye byes mister Jedi sir."
"Bye bye," said D'Shan, "you son of a nerf herder." He slumped back down onto his bed when the last of the glowing Gungan had gone and checked his chrono. It was early in the morning, too early to do anything but not early enough to get more sleep.
He sighed; at least he wasn't going to be the only one to suffer.
-----signature-----
Vader's Mousedroid Society Fanfic links in my bio My fan art: http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/26961879/ when infected with Small Child the victim continues to swell for nine months before the infection can be safely removed
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MsLanna
Title: CR GSFF Central
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
9/19/07 7:34am
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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You did it indeed!
Unbelieveable!
"Meesa all sparkly glowy!" It said and jumped on D'Shan's bed.
I'm amazed the bed didn't break. that's what usually happens with Jar Jar around. Maybe because he's a ghost now...
"Oh kark off," he said, quickly adding "please?"
Love the added 'please'. 
D'Shan glared at him. "Qui-Gon likes you."
Oooooh, now THAT is plain nasty. But how do you get an insubstatnial being to leave. And now I wonder how Qui-Gon handls the situation. 
-----signature-----
Padawan owned by Corellian_Ale Self-Appointed Indoctrinatress of CloneCaptainRex.  Proud FanFic Master of Darth_Sathanos Why so serious?  Master of baritonejedi
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amidalachick
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
9/22/07 12:24pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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Oh, that was great! Poor D'Shan...running into a Force-ghost Jar Jar would be bad enough any time of day, but to wake up to him? Yikes!
D'Shan cringed. He hated seeing grown men cry, and this was just the worst. What had he done to deserve this? "Oh kark off," he said, quickly adding "please?"
I love how he says 'please'.
And D'Shan sending him off to Qui-Gon...perfect ending! 
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"We figured if it wasn't skimming off the top, tax evasion, or unwed mother death sports, it had to be insurance fraud."
"No! It was for someone who needed it!"
"You were serious about that?"
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Rogue_Pilot_2347
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
9/22/07 5:57pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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That's hilarious. I couldn't stop a silly, slightly evil grin when D'shan said "Qui-Gon likes you."
Fun little viggie.
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MarasFire
Registered:
Jun '07
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Date Posted:
9/26/07 6:46am
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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"You're a Force ghost; you don't have a kriffing body."
Jar Jar stopped spinning and looked hurt, "no needs to be so nasty, meesa has feelings too."
This was such an evilly fun viggie.
Will you write a sequel to show him going to see Qui-Gon? If you do, PM me please!
-----signature-----
"There comes a time when a man has to ask himself
whether he wants a life of happiness or a life of meaning."
-Linderman
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Bedevilled_Barbie
Registered:
Sep '07
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Date Posted:
9/26/07 5:48pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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FOrce ghost Jar Jar???
Jar Jar a Jedi.  They don't have a fainting smilie to convey my thoughts.
Very funny indeed Rachel. I think you should hve him visit more Jedi. You've all sorts of eras to plague him on.
If you do might I get a PM. To Healer_Leona though. 
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I killed Ken and you're next
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GrandAdmiral_Frank
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
9/27/07 2:51pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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That's hilarious.
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Member of the Han Solo and Chewbacca FanClub
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"Don't make me destroy you"-Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back
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Jinngerbread
Registered:
Sep '07
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Date Posted:
9/27/07 3:22pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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D'Shan grinned evilly, "Yes, he does. He told me so himself. He even said he had some special candy for you."
"Yippee!" cried the Gungan, jumping up and spinning around like a buffoon.
"You have to go quickly now, or he might get hungry and eat it all."
Now that's just evil Poor Qui Though I can't blame D'Shan for wanting to get rid of him
I could actually *hear* Jar Jar's voice as I was reading.
Hilarious little vig
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Ara-gon
Registered:
Dec '05
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Date Posted:
10/2/07 2:04pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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Oh, stars, but that's the funniest thing I've read in awhile.
It was funny from the "dancing like a loon" part on.
Evil. Push ghostie Jar-Jar off on Qui-Gon. Just evil.
Is there more?
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Miana Kenobi
Title: Pacific Region RSA
NSWFF Manager
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
10/3/07 1:46am
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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-----signature-----
You can't take the sky from me.
He tini nga whetu e ngaro I te kapua iti.
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
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Jetta
Registered:
May '01
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Date Posted:
10/10/07 9:01am
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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Wh---HAHAHA! Hilarious - pure fun! And to add the icing to the cake is the Robot Chicken vid clip posted by Miana. 
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MTFBWY
Wherever you go, that's where you are.
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GrandAdmiral_Frank
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
10/10/07 1:15pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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Miana Kenobi posted:
Hell yes!
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Spike2002
Title: FF-UK RSA
Arena Manager
Registered:
Feb '02
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Date Posted:
10/16/07 4:45pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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moose, you write such brilliant horror stories. 
It is a horror, right??? 
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"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke  I agree with halibut  Master to Louis_Skywalker  Proud Recipient of the Golden Elegos™
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lordmaul13
Registered:
Oct '00
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Date Posted:
10/19/07 4:38pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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That was truly horrific. Palpatine had the wrong plan all along. All he had to do was unleash Jar Jar on the Jedi. The mass suicides would've taken care of everything for him.
~lordmaul13
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tatooinewizard's partner in crime I can dream now, Joey. Oh, you wouldn't believe what I can dream of now. Hellraiser III Better Days Than These http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27626554&brd=10475&start=27629823
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moosemousse
Title: CR - FF:UK South
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
10/20/07 9:50am
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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Spike2002 posted:
moose, you write such brilliant horror stories.
It is a horror, right???
It wasn't meant to be, but I can see why it would be.
Part 2: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar and Qui-Gon!
Qui-Gon Jinn sat cross in a meditation pose. A large field of tall grasses spread out all around him and a warm summer sun shone down gently on his back. He felt calm, centred, and at peace. He was asleep and this was only a dream but he knew it would be beneficial when he awoke.
And then it came. A wailing filled the air and the ground started to shake. The wailing became distinct, a voice, a yelling voice. "Meesa wants candies!” The cry filled the air as the ground shook harder.
He awoke suddenly and found himself looking up at the face of a glowing translucent Gungan; its ears were flailing around its goofy face.
"Meesa wants candies!” it yelled as it continued to shake the perturbed Jedi Master.
"Could you please stop shaking me?” Gui-Gon tried not to sound too annoyed and managed it, more or less.
The Gungan stopped, "will yousa give me candies?”
Gui-Gon struggled to sit up and found that his bed had collapsed. He sighed and dreaded to think how he'd explain it when he asked for a new one. Still, he managed to sit up and he looked at the kneeling Gungan. "What are you talking about? And who are you?”
"Meesa Jar-Jar, and yousa got candies!”
Gui-Gon blinked vacantly. "Candies? Who said I have candies?”
"A Jedi Master,” Jar-Jar looked sad, "he wasn't nice to meesa though.”
"Oh.” Gui-Gon could guess who that was, D'Shan. He should have known he'd do something to annoy, but this? Gui-Gon had no idea how he'd done it but was sure that D'Shan was behind it, somehow.
"Hesa said you has candies.”
"You said.” He stood slowly and went over to a chair. Sitting down in it, he said "couldn't this wait until morning?”
"Hesa said yousa eats them all if meesa didn't hurry.” Jar-Jar looked almost pleading.
A thought occurred to Jinn and his eyes glinted in the darkness. "Did he? He must have known how much I like them.” He sighed deeply, "I'm afraid you were too late, I don't have any more.”
Binks all but fell over, his face dropped and his arms fell limply to his sides. "Yousa ates them all? Meesa didn't hurry fast enough?” Tears brimmed in his goofy eyes and he started t cry, a loud bawling wail.
Jinn looked startled and tried to calm the Gungan. "No no, there are some left,” he said, trying to console the Force ghost. "What I meant was that I don't have them here with me.”
Binks stopped crying and started sniffling instead. "Yousa means there are some?”
Jinn smiled and nodded slowly. "That's right.”
A smile spread back across the Gungan's face. "Meesa wants the candies, but if yousa no has them, who does?”
"I gave them to Master Yoda.” He nodded sagely, "I realised that I would eat them all if I kept them, and so I gave them to Master Yoda to look after.”
"Master Yoda has the candies?” Binks looked hopeful. He dried his face and tried not to jump around in excitement.
"Yes, he does. If you hurry to his quarters I'm sure he'll let you have some if you ask nicely enough.” Jin cringed as the Binks jumped for joy and let out a cry of delight. "Be quiet though, or you'll wake the Younglings, and you won't get any candies if you do.”
Binks looked shocked at this and stopped jumping around. "Oh, meesa sorry, meesa no mean to wake the Younglings,” he whispered. "Meesa going now.”
"Bye bye, enjoy the candies.” Jinn forced a smile and waved as Binks slipped out the room through the door.
When the Force ghost had gone he let out a deep sigh and went back to his bed. He stared at the broken frame and wondered how he would explain it to the Academy; "Jedi Master in Broken Bed Shocker”.
He checked his chrono and found it to be too late for any more sleep so he went over to his caff machine. Remembering that he'd sent Binks to Yoda, he chuckled slightly. This would get Yoda back for, um, that thing, possibly. Actually, Jinn wasn't sure what he was paying Yoda back for, but he was sure that Yoda had done something. At the very least he wasn't going to be the only to be woken up at this early hour.
-----signature-----
Vader's Mousedroid Society Fanfic links in my bio My fan art: http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/26961879/ when infected with Small Child the victim continues to swell for nine months before the infection can be safely removed
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lordmaul13
Registered:
Oct '00
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Date Posted:
10/20/07 3:42pm
Subject:
RE: The Force Ghost of Jar Jar
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These Jedi are conniving liars. I'm beginning to think Palpatine had the right idea.
~lordmaul13
-----signature-----
tatooinewizard's partner in crime I can dream now, Joey. Oh, you wouldn't believe what I can dream of now. Hellraiser III Better Days Than These http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27626554&brd=10475&start=27629823
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