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Author	Topic: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 9/30 Seduction
Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/11 8:45am Subject: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 9/30 Seduction - Date Edited: 9/30 2:18pm (17 edits total) Edited By: Alexis_Wingstar
	Title: Those Eyes! Author: Alexis_Wingstar Note: This is a companion diary to Freedom in Bondage, and is also a response to Dear Diary Challenge 2008. It is told by Asta's POV. We'll see if I can keep up 4 diaries all year. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Entry 1: Hello Diary, I tried to keep a diary once, but I was always too busy to keep it up. I don't know if I'll keep up this one, but, I just had to write some things down. You see, I don't have anyone to talk about how I'm feeling. My mom left dad a few years ago, and though dad makes me visit her a few times a year, I hate her for leaving. How could she do that to dad? He loves her! I asked, and she gives some lame excuse. "We grew apart." What the hell is THAT supposed to mean? If I ever get married, it will be 'til death do us part... unless he has other plans. I will not be the one to break a vow. Well, that's not why I came to write to you, Diary. You see, there's this boy dad bought. Stang, even though I know dad only buys slaves to free them, I wince every time I think about buying a living being. Dad has raised me to hate slavery. He told me everything about Aunt Asta... the one I'm named after... and I hope I can live up to his memory of her. I feel as though I come short so many times. That's not why I'm writing, either. It seems I have more to work out than what I originally planned to tell you about! The boy... young man... that's what I want to tell you about. His name is Meb. He's lived at my dad's estate for a couple months now. When he first came, he was so skinny and malnourished! He flinched everytime anyone reached out to touch him. No one in this household would raise a hand to harm him. I hope he realizes that by now. He's filled out nicely since he's come here... he works out when he's not studying, and instead of being scrawny, he has a nice set of pecks. If my dad saw me watching him work out, I'd be so embarrassed, but until that happens I'm going to keep enjoying watching Meb. He moves like a sand panther. He's so beautiful. He's got so many scars though, all over his body. The worst is the burn scar from the brand one of his former masters gave him. It's on his left shoulderblade on the back... I can't believe people brand their slaves like cattle. Then there's the jagged scar on his face. It looks so painful. I wish I could run my finger along it and make it disappear. However, I know that is nothing to the scars he must have inside. When I look into his eyes, I see such pain and sorrow... anger, too. There's something else though. There's a gentleness there as well. I can't explain it, but I see it when he interacts with the younglings of Caen and Telma... servants that were both slaves once... they married when my father freed them, and asked if they could stay on... they're loyal to my father. Anyway, they have two small children, Goel and Felmon, who get into much mischief. Meb looks after them even though no one asked him to do so. When I look into his eyes, I want to hold him. I want to take away his pain. Stars, I can feel myself blushing as I write this, Diary... I long to have him hold me. Well, I have to go now. I'll hide you under my matress. I don't think anyone will snoop... except for Goel and Felmon, but they can't read yet... but still... I'll be back later to write more. -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/11 9:34am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama]
	Hey another one and I like to follow it. Please give me a PM when you update. -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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angry_bendu1 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 1/11 10:07am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama]
	Well it was nice to know what was going through her head. A great companion piece, and please pm me with any updates! -----signature----- Ramblings of a Jedi (snarky Jesika's diary- filled w/ romance, sarcasm, etc.): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28753761/p1/?0 I was staring at the orange juice because it said "concentrate". Proud owner of a '96 Geo Metro. "To the Crapmobile!"
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/11 11:33am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama]
	Lovely! Please put me on your PM list for this one! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/11 9:52pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama]
	PM List earlybird-obi-wan angry_bendu1 VaderLVR64 Thank you for reading. You will get a PM really soon. ~~~~~~~~ Entry 2: Meb saved my life today! We were walking together, and talking... I wish he felt comfortable enough around me not to stutter. I don't know why he always seems so nervous when I'm around. Does he like me and is shy, or isn't interested in me so when I show interest in him I make him uncomfortable and he's not sure how to get me to bugger off. Anyway, as so often happens on Tatooine, a sudden sandstorm blew into town. When I stumbled and fell, he helped me up, and he kept a hold of my hand as we fought against the wind. His hands are so strong, Diary. Strong and calloused. I wouldn't mind holding his hand more. I don't know what hit me, but, something banged against my head, and the next thing I know, we are at the door to my home and Caen is lifting me off Meb. I felt too weak and disoriented to say anything, then, but watching as Meb tried to stand and collapse made me want to go to help him, but I couldn't. Well, dad took us both to the hospital, and I got bandaged up. Meb's leg is broken. He must have dragged me to the stairs to my father's house and fallen with me down the steps. Right now we're back home. Both of us were ordered by the doctor to rest in bed for the remainder of the day... but, I just have to go check on him. I want to thank him for saving me. Maybe I can hold his hand for a little bit. -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/11 10:52pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama]
	lovely she is falling in love? -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/12 11:41am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama]
	earlybird-obi-wan posted: lovely she is falling in love? I think it's safe to say 'yes', but, there are... complications... DUN Dun dun dun! ~~~~~~~~~~ Entry 3: Dear Diary, I am so confused and torn! This morning I went to the spaceport to meet Undar, a dear friend of the family who came for a visit. Undar and I have always been close... like brother and sister. I was so excited to see him. We haven't seen each other in two years, though we wrote each other regularly. Diary, he's grown since then. Really grown... he's tall now. Before I was taller than he is, but now he towers over me! Another thing is, he's gorgeous! Oh, he was cute before, but in an adorable little boy type of way. Now he's cute and... WOW! Like a holo-vid star. His wavy strawberry-blonde hair frames his face just right, and those emerald green eyes sparkle so prettily. His nose still wrinkles cutely when he smiles. He still has that hilarious laugh that I can't help but laugh right along with him. Even with seeing how handsome he is, he was still my sweet buddy. I couldn't wait to introduce him to Meb. I wanted them to get along. Well, as I walked home with Undar, I was tell him about Meb. He joked with me about being jealous about hearing me talk about another guy. At least, I thought he was joking. Then I caught sight of Meb, just as he fell. We rushed over to help him, and I introduced the two of them. Though Meb seemed uncomfortable as usual around me, the two seemed to get along pretty well. Meb was quiet all during dinner, and I noticed he hardly ate, which is unusual for him. I hope he isn't coming down with anything. There is a stomach bug going around. After dinner, I walked with Undar to the hotel he was staying in with his uncle... he didn't come to Tatooine alone, but his uncle wasn't hungry and opted to check into the hotel. Actually, I don't think Undar's uncle and my father like each other very much, and that's why he didn't come. Anyway, when he said good night to me, he kissed me... on the lips. Not just a little kiss. It was a long, passionate kiss. And I kissed back. Diary, he took my breath away! My heart beats harder as I'm telling you about it, even though what happened afterwards made me so angry. When we finally pulled away, he told me he loved me. I was so flustered. I'm not even sure what I said, but I know how Meb feels now when he stammers. That's when Undar said, "What, you'd rather be with your pet slaveboy?" I was so shocked, diary. I couldn't believe Undar would say something like that! Even as I raised my hand, I could see in his eyes his own shock and regret at what he'd said. That didn't keep me from slapping him though... hard. The palm of my hand burned after slapping him, and I left a nice red mark on Undar's cheek... not that he didn't deserve it, regret or no regret. He apologized imediately, but I just said goodbye and turned to leave. He followed me, apologizing repeatedly and asking for forgiveness. I turned to him and told him I had to cool down before talking to him again and that we'd talk tomorrow. Diary, I know Undar said it only because he was jealous. He's really not that way. He's a very sweet, kind person. I... I have always loved him like a brother. I thought that's how he viewed me... only as a sister... but, now I have to wonder how long he's felt in love with me. And how do I feel now? I... enjoyed that kiss, though it took me by complete surprise. Can I forgive the fact that he said such a hateful thing about Meb? Should I? Everyone can say something in the heat of the moment that they regret afterwards... and I know he regretted it. Then there is Meb. Gods, how can I love them both? I feel so ashamed. -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/12 11:06pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/12
	Oof, she is in for a difficult choice -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/15 6:12am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/12
	Uh oh. There be rough waters ahead. Great update. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/15 6:20pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/12
	earlybird-obi-wan posted: Oof, she is in for a difficult choice She is indeed. Thanks for reading. VaderLVR64 posted: Uh oh. There be rough waters ahead. Great update. Not on Tatooine! ~~~~~~~~ Entry 4: Dear Diary, Undar didn't come over yesterday or even call. I tried calling him, and his uncle answered. He said Undar wasn't available at the time but he'd tell him I called. He didn't return the call. I spent the whole day swinging back and forth between being angry with Undar, concerned for him, and worrying that he was angry with me. I hardly slept last night. This morning after breakfast, Meb asked me if I was feeling all right. I guess because I was so tired, I was a bit overly emotional... I started crying and hugged him, putting my arms around his waist. I could feel him hesitate before putting his arms around me, but when he did, it felt so good to be in his arms. He said nothing, just held me, gently rubbing my back until I stopped crying and pulled away from him. I apologized to him for the sudden tears. "It's ok," he said, "I'll hold you anytime." Then his eyes widened and he stammered, "I'i mean a-any t-time you need to cry, I-i'll b-be here for you." He blushed and looked away. I blushed as well when I thought, ‘Ah sweetheart, you could hold me anytime!’ As I took his hand and thanked him, the doorbell rang. Caen answered it... it was Undar. I never realized I could feel so many different feelings in the matter of one second, Diary! I felt happy and relieved to see him, anger that he hadn’t tried contacting me, resentment at the look of jealousy on his face, and annoyance that he showed up just at the wrong time. I guess the anger and resentment were the strongest of those feelings, for I suddenly placed both hands on either side of Meb’s face and kissed him full on the lips. If Undar is going to be jealous, he might as well have something to be jealous about, after all. I felt Meb stiffen, then he relaxed and kissed back. Damn his lips tasted sweet. Then I did something I had longed to do for quite awhile… I ran my fingers through his dark curly hair. It is so soft, and I love how his curls played around my fingers. Then I pulled away and looked defiantly at Undar. I felt a sense of satisfaction as I saw his jaw working back and forth. “Hello, Undar.” “I came to speak with Meb,” he said after clearing his throat. He looked at Meb. “Could I speak with you outside, please.” Meb shrugged and went with him. I stared after them, wondering why Undar wanted to speak to Meb. The look Meb gave me before going out the door broke my heart though. I had used him. He knew it, and was hurt. There are no words for how much I hate myself right now. -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/15 8:48pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/12
	And who to choose? Hmm? Meb is nice. Great update -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/16 10:00am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/15
	Uh oh. I think there are going to be hurt feelings all the way around. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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Alexis_Wingstar Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 1/16 8:08pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/15 - Date Edited: 1/17 7:56am (2 edits total) Edited By: Alexis_Wingstar
	earlybird-obi-wan posted: And who to choose? Hmm? Meb is nice. Great update They are both nice, but both very different. VaderLVR64 posted: Uh oh. I think there are going to be hurt feelings all the way around. Yes, it isn't an easy situation for anyone. Asta's diary actually covers the same ground as Meb's journal, only from her perspective... kinda like "Side by Side" with Obi-wan and Padme, only they aren't in the same thread. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Entry 5: After writing you this morning, Diary, I started to walk to the gardens, but heard someone in the excercise room. I peeked in and saw it was Meb. I was nervous as I walked into the room and sat on the bench next to his. He didn't say anything to me when I spoke to him. The way he was ignoring me made me uncomfortable. I couldn't blame him for being angry, but I was trying to apologize! "Meb," I begged, "please speak to me." He allowed the weights to clang down and sat up. Those wonderfully expressive dark eyes were so intense as he yelled at me. "What do you want me to say? Huh? Thank you so much for giving me the pleasure of placing your lips against mine so you can make your pretty boy jealous? Thank you for blubbering all over me one minute and throwing me aside the next?" It wasn't lost on me that this was the first time he's spoken to me without stuttering. I guess he was too angry to be self-consious. When he was finished yelling, he got up and walked away from me. I think he was crying. Oh Diary, I can't stand that I caused him such pain. I was willing to take everything he said. I deserved it. I went over to him and placed a hand on his sweat soaked back as I said, "I'm sorry, Meb." Next thing I know, I was on the floor, my nose hurt, and my dad was kneeling next to me, holding me. "Master... Asta... I'm sorry!" I looked up to see Meb looking so terrified, and I realized he'd hit me. I could not be angry at him for it. It's what I deserved for treating him exactly like what Undar accused me of... actually, Undar's comment last night was just as much a dig at me as at Meb now that I think about it... and Undar was right. I treated Meb like he was some sort of pet... a slave. This realization hurts me so much more than the punch Meb gave me in the nose. "Get out of here, Meb, before I do something I regret!" I never saw my father so angry. Even though he said it quietly, his voice sounded like the roar of a Tusken Raider, and Meb ran out so fast. "Meb, wait!" I called out as I got up. Then I got dizzy and sat back down. I rubbed my nose, and discovered I was bleeding... quite a bit! Dad made me sit still and he called for Caen and had him bring an icepack. "Daddy, this is my fault, don't be angry at Meb!" I was going to tell him what happened, but I found I couldn't. I was so ashamed, and I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. So I wimped out and just said, "It's all my fault." "I don't know what's going on, baby girl, but there is no excuse for him hitting you! Absolutely none!" I broke down crying. I didn't want dad angry at Meb, but I was afraid to tell him what all happened. I knew he would be very disappointed in me. He might even send me to live with mother. Dad pulled me into his lap and held me like he did when I was still little, rocking me back and forth. I felt safe, warm... ...and loved. After I stopped crying and my nose stopped bleeding, dad let me get up, and we walked out of the excercise room. It was in the kitchen that we discovered Meb's journal. I watched as dad read it, and I could see both anger and sorrow mix in his expression. "Damn it, Meb!" Dad threw down the journal onto the table. "CAEN!" When Caen came in, my father said, "Meb has left for the spaceport, we have to get him before it's too late!" I was ready to go too, but dad turned to me and spoke sharply, "You've done enough, stay here!" I swallowed as I watched him leave, then I looked down at Meb's journal. I know I shouldn't have, but I picked it up and read it. All of it. Oh, Meb! I'm so sorry! Please be alright! Please come back safe. And PLEASE forgive me. I know this was an invasion of your privacy to read the journal, but I had to know what was in it to make my dad so worried about you and despise me. Now he knows his baby girl is a nasty... um well very bad person. My dad hates me now... ...I hate myself... ...and you love me, whether or not you should. -----signature----- "Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes." ~Koria "Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi Padawan to DarthIshtar Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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earlybird-obi-wan Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 1/16 8:48pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/15
	Oh please let those two come together -----signature----- writer and Star Wars fan FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link] stories in my bio
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 1/17 7:33am Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/15
	That was great! Poor thing, so torn between two people. And yeah, the change is funny. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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angry_bendu1 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 1/17 2:03pm Subject: RE: Those Eyes! [re: 2008 Dear Diary Challenge; OC; Romance; Angst;Drama] Update 1/15
	Well I was mad at her when I read the other journal, but it's good to know that she is remorseful. But she is digging a really deep pit for herself! She'd better figure it out soon! -----signature----- Ramblings of a Jedi (snarky Jesika's diary- filled w/ romance, sarcasm, etc.): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28753761/p1/?0 I was staring at the orange juice because it said "concentrate". Proud owner of a '96 Geo Metro. "To the Crapmobile!"
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