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A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 5: The Start of a Long Walk-7/19
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Cole_Kenobi
Registered:
Aug '05
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Date Posted:
4/19 10:29pm
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 2: Might As Well Get Comfortable-4/18
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Wow. I'm just letting it sink it. This was an amazing update. Simply brillant.
The place they're at seems to beautiful, and I could picture it show vividly, you write imaginery so well. It almost reminded me of Jurassic Park, when they were in the tree and the dinosaurs came close to them. lol
I love the scenes where Qui-gon is fishing, and Obi-wan is laying in the warm sand. And the way you capture Obi-wan's thoughts, is just brillant.
I hope Qui-gon can find a way to help Obi-wan. Poor guy, needs so TLC.
You are a master of story-telling. I've enjoyed reading this chapter so.
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XANl
Registered:
May '06
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Date Posted:
4/20 8:52am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 2: Might As Well Get Comfortable-4/18
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Darkness swirling is not a good spot to stop!
I wonder what happened to Obi Wan that he became ill? mmmm. infection or a bite from a water creature 
Qui Gon seemed so carefree that I thought he was in shock.
love this story, can't wait till you post again.
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JediKaren
Registered:
Apr '07
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Date Posted:
4/20 10:05pm
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 2: Might As Well Get Comfortable-4/18
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ack! must read more now!!!!
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BlueJedi
Registered:
Mar '02
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Date Posted:
4/29 1:17pm
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 2: Might As Well Get Comfortable-4/18
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up! waiting for more
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Bastet
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
5/4 12:29am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 2: Might As Well Get Comfortable-4/18
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Well... two weeks to update is better than three, right?  Though actually I don't have the next post quite ready yet, but I thought I would respond to replies now so I have more time tomorrow to proofread my update before I post it, which I'll definitely be doing before Sunday is over. So now on to replies:
Gkilkenny-- There trek around the forest and learning about the living force may be good for Qui,
but I am worried about Obi.
Although I shouldn't because his master will take good care of him.  Yes indeed, he will!
wonderful chapter Bastet, I wonder what will happen next since it appears they were here 65 million years ago.  Whatever gave you that idea? 
Thanks for reading! 
Qui-Gina-Jinn-- Ok, that's got to be the most unusual beginning of a fic I've ever seen.
But what a great one!  I'm glad you liked it!
Thanks for your kind words, and you're added to the PM list!
dimyavie-- Poor Obi-Wan! Between his broken arm and now passing out Qui-Gon will be dealing with one poor Padawan.  Yes, indeed. Again, awesome update! Aww, thanks!
Valairy Scot-- Poor Obi - he's feverish, but I loved the whole "growing boys are hungry" scenario.  Yep, I think poor Obi is always hungry. Wonderful update.  Thank you!
Jinngerbread-- It's not hard to imagine Qui-Gon being perfectly at home in a tree As far as the trees on Kashyyyk, grrr on the Revenge of the Sith film for not sticking to EU! Zahn described it so well, I wanted to see it on the big screen! But no...we got beaches and sand instead...which makes no sense for Wookies, but there you have it  Yes, I felt the same way! They could have done some really cool stuff with Wookies in trees. Oh well. 
I love how you're doing Qui-Gon and Obi I've always thought that Qui-Gon, while eating meat, would prefer to kill any animal he was going to eat, as humanely as possible. That is very responsible and good for the environment and Qui-Gon was all about nature I'm so glad you like how I'm doing Qui-Gon.
Here's hoping that Qui-Gon at least has it better than Obi-Wan, somehow, I doubt it though....
Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you like my story so far!
jedidas3-- Sorry for the delay in posting a reply. DRL reared its ugly head this week! No worries. DRL always comes first, as much as we hate to let it sometimes. I'm glad you're liking my story, and you're added to the PM list!
Glenstorm-- don't know where to start. There's so many wonderful things in this. Well first of all I think you have Qui-Gon down perfectly. The way he turns even being stranded into a good way to train his Padawan and the way he shows mercy by killing their breakfast quickly. Just perfect. Wow, thanks! I'm so glad you guys like my Qui-Gon, I'm trying to keep him as in character as I can.
Next, your descriptions. I can really feel what Obi-Wan is going through in that jungle and see what's around him. I think I could identify some of those dinosaurs just from your descriptions of them! 
Finally don't worry about the length. It wasn't boring at all! It's nice to see the boys indulging in a slower pace of life. They certainly weren't complaining. Are you trying to say I complain too much?  Okay, I'll stop.
But why do I get the feeling things won't remain so peaceful. Is Obi-Wan's arm just a sign of worse things to come I don't know...
Sabriel_Orion-- This story's really caught my attention. Thanks! I just hope it can keep your attention!  You're added to the PM list.
Bkcbookworm-- Wow, great cliffie!  Thanks! I like cliffhangers. 
Please update soon as you've definetely got me hooked. I'm glad! Thanks for reading!
Cole_Kenobi-- Wow. I'm just letting it sink it. This was an amazing update. Simply brillant. Thank you!
The place they're at seems to beautiful, and I could picture it show vividly, you write imaginery so well. It almost reminded me of Jurassic Park, when they were in the tree and the dinosaurs came close to them. Ah yes, I love that scene. I'm sure you could guess the Jurassic Park trilogy are three of my favorite movies. (Aside from Star Wars, of course).
hope Qui-gon can find a way to help Obi-wan. Poor guy, needs so TLC. Yes, he does.
You are a master of story-telling. I've enjoyed reading this chapter so. *Is momentarily speechless* Wow, no one's ever said anything like that to me before. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the next chapter as much.
XANI-- I wonder what happened to Obi Wan that he became ill? mmmm. infection or a bite from a water creature- You'll soon find out.
love this story, can't wait till you post again. Thank you!
JediKaren-- ack! must read more now!!!! Coming up soon, thanks for reading!
BlueJedi-- up! waiting for more Thanks for the up, more soon!
Wow, so many replies! Thank you guys all so much for reading my story, I'm glad so many of you like it so far!
Current PM List
Cole_Kenobi
Gkilkenny
Valairy Scot
Jinngerbread
Qui-Gina-Jinn
jedidas3
Sabriel_Orion
Hooray the list is growing longer! Just let me know if you want to be added or removed.
Next post up soon. But now it's past my bedtime. 
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"Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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Bastet
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
5/4 11:24am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 2: Might As Well Get Comfortable-4/18
- Date Edited:
5/5 5:48am (2 edits total)
Edited By:
Bastet
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And finally, my post.
Additional disclaimer-I got the title of this chapter from the Sea Monsters section of the DVD Chased by Dinosaurs, a BBC production from Impossible Pictures, starring one of my other heroes: Nigel Marven.
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Chapter Three--Hell’s Aquarium
“Obi-Wan, please! Speak to me!” Qui-Gon was kneeling on the ground now, holding his padawan in his arms. The boy still had his hand twisted in his tunic, his sweaty brow deeply furrowed. But then his head fell back, and he slipped unconscious with a sigh, his hand finally loosening its hold.
“Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon called to him, gently shaking him, but there was no response. “Oh Force, what’s wrong with you?” he asked the boy, even though it was obvious he would not be getting an answer. He put a hand on Obi-Wan’s forehead, confirming that he already knew one thing: the boy had a raging fever. The master ran his hand gently through his padawan’s spiky hair, and found it damp with perspiration. He had already been sweating for some time, obviously, and Qui-Gon wondered anxiously how long the boy had had this fever. Why hadn’t he said anything about it earlier?
A sudden distant rumble of thunder drew Qui-Gon’s attention unwillingly up to the patches of sky visible through the branches overhead, and he saw that the clouds had darkened considerably since they were in that clearing earlier. And then a great rustling sound started in the distance, swelling in volume as it swept across the forest, a great wind stirring the tops of all the trees. The afternoon sunlight winked out, and it grew quite dim under the rustling forest, as if twilight was already upon it. And then it thundered again, louder and closer, and the big Jedi knew for certain that a strong storm was very rapidly approaching. He needed to get them back to their shelter, and quickly.
Qui-Gon very gently gathered his padawan up into his arms, letting the boy’s head come to rest on his broad shoulder, and his concern for the youth spiked as he felt just how warm his whole body was, even through his clothes. He set off at a rapid pace through the trees, fern fronds and low-hung branches frequently slapping him in the face or thwapping him in the back as he waded heedlessly into them. He fervently wished there was more waiting for him at the end of his trek than a hollow tree with a leaf-covered floor, a fully stocked med-bay would be nice. But the one he could have used had been in the part of the ship that broke off during the crash, and even if it hadn’t been destroyed, he had no idea where it was. So all he could offer his padawan now was shelter from the storm, the comfort of familiar surroundings, and all the love and caring he possessed. He just hoped it would be enough.
Qui-Gon finally crested the hill, and then just a few more long strides brought him back to their shelter, the large crack in the side of the tree yawning in welcome. Gently shifting his padawan in his arms, he carefully maneuvered both of them through the opening. Obi-Wan’s robe was still lying where he had left it that morning, and the big Jedi quickly had it spread out over the leaves. Then he very gently lay his padawan down on top of it, lasting removing his own robe to serve once again as a pillow for the young Jedi. Suddenly a bright flash lit up the dim interior of the tree, followed almost instantaneously by a tremendous crack and loud roiling boom. Qui-Gon nearly flinched, that had been unexpected, and very loud. And entirely too close. Echoes of the thunder were still booming all across the sky, as if the clouds had all broken open at once.
“Mmph…” Qui-Gon turned anxiously back to his padawan, placing his large hand on the boy’s sweaty forehead. His eyes were fluttering, his breathing more rapid as he whimpered again.
“Obi-Wan, Padawan, can you hear me?” But it was no use, the boy’s eyes fluttered for a moment longer, and then they closed again. As the thunder outside began rumbling louder again, Qui-Gon laid his hand gently on his padawan’s much-too-warm forehead. It was past time to find out what was wrong with the boy. He closed his eyes, stretching out his awareness to assess to young Jedi’s body with the Force. His senses were immediately drawn to the boy’s left arm, and he knew that was where the trouble lay.
Qui-Gon’s eyes snapped open, and he quickly, but very carefully untied Obi-Wan’s makeshift sling and slid it off his arm. Then he even more carefully unwrapped the strip of sash he had wound around it two days ago, and gasped. Oh dear Force. It was most certainly infected, the wound was red and inflamed, with angry red lines tracing all over Obi-Wan’s arm.
Qui-Gon winced as he vehemently cursed himself. Why hadn’t he checked his padawan’s arm sooner?! He blew out his breath, releasing his frustration into the Force, self-recrimination would do Obi-Wan no good now. He had to focus on what would.
A sudden loud rushing outside drew Qui-Gon’s attention momentarily to the doorway, just in time to see the start of a torrential downpour. Thunder rumbled again, and he shook his head in disbelief. This planet’s weather so far seemed to be echoing his own mood. Both storms they had seen so far had come when he was most worried about his padawan, in fear for his life. But since the rain provided a source of conveniently close fresh water, he found he could not begrudge it.
Qui-Gon quickly unfastened his belt, then he took off his tabard and ripped it into strips, much as he had done with his sash two days ago. Then he once again stood outside and rinsed the strips in rainwater, shaking his head as he did so. This was exactly how he had had to clean the boy’s arm two days ago, and it had gotten him nowhere, obviously. In fact, this was probably how the wound had gotten infected so fast in the first place, much worse much faster that he would have expected. But what else could he do?
Finally satisfying himself that the strips of tabard he was holding were wet enough, and as clean as they were going to get, he ducked back into the tree. Kneeling beside his sick apprentice, he carefully began to clean his wounded arm again, channeling all of the strength and healing power into the injured appendage as he could muster. He was no healer, of course, but he would do what he could. He just hoped it would matter.
After cleaning the wound as best he could, Qui-Gon wrapped it in a fresh strip of cloth, then laid it gently at the boy’s side. He would need to keep a very close eye on it from now on. Obi-Wan mumbled something unintelligible as he turned his head towards his master, and the big Jedi gently laid a hand on his forehead. It was still very warm, and he knew it would likely be several hours before he would know if he had done enough to stop the infection. Reaching to his pile of extra strips, Qui-Gon folded one of the wet ones and placed it on Obi-Wan’s sweaty brow. The boy sighed quietly, then he lay still again. “You just rest now, my Padawan,” Qui-Gon said softly. “You’ll be alright.”
Yes, he’ll be alright, the Jedi master assured himself as he leaned his head back to rest against the wall of their tree-shelter. He closed his eyes, listening to the loud pattering of the heavy rain mixed with the still frequent rumble of thunder, and underlying it all the soft, quiet sound of his padawan’s breathing. He knew sleep was the best thing for the boy right now, and he would see to it that he got plenty of it.
Qui-Gon sat like that, guarding Obi-Wan’s slumber, for the rest of the stormy afternoon. He checked on his injured arm several times, but each time he found that it had not improved. In fact, he was finally forced to admit, as the unseen sun set behind dark clouds, that it had gotten even worse. Other colors had joined the angry red, and the infection was obviously spreading as it rapidly worsened.
Qui-Gon quickly wet a few of the other strips of cloth in the now-slackening rain, though the dark, heavy clouds to the west foretold that yet another storm would soon be moving in. As if to emphasize this point, the wind picked up as he turned back to their tree, whipping his damp hair about his face. He could already tell it was going to be a long night.
Qui-Gon gently took Obi-Wan’s arm, laying it in his lap as he prepared to clean it once again. But as he began rubbing it with the cloth, he felt the arm go tense under his hands as his padawan moaned in obvious pain. Letting the cloth drop to the side, the big Jedi quickly laid a gentle hand on the boy’s head. “Padawan?”
“Master,” Obi-Wan whispered, blinking blearily. “Hurts.”
“I know it does, Obi-Wan, I know,” Qui-Gon said gently, stroking his hand back through the boy’s sweat-dampened hair. “Your arm is badly infected, it needs to be cleaned again. I need to get you into a healing trance, it’s the only thing that’s really going to help, I think.”
But Obi-Wan seemed not to hear him. He closed his eyes as he turned his head away, his brow furrowed. “Mmphh. It’s so hot…”
“Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon said a bit loudly as he tried to get the boy’s attention. He needed his cooperation to help him into a healing trance. He took his warm face in his other hand, turning it back towards him. “Padawan, I need you.” But it was no use, the boy had fallen unconscious again. Cursing under his breath, the big Jedi went back to cleaning his padawan’s wounded arm, which had fallen limp again in his lap. Then he rewrapped it, wishing for the umpteenth time that he could do more.
Soon it grew very dark outside, but lighting from the second storm provided Qui-Gon with plenty of light to see by as he continued to frequently check on and clean his padawan’s arm. But despite his tireless efforts, the infection in Obi-Wan’s wound continued to grow worse. The boy eventually sunk into restless delirium as his fever climbed even higher.
It was now somewhere in the middle of the night, and Obi-Wan had started mumbling as he tossed his head from side to side. “Mm…master…noo…” Qui-Gon stroked his sweaty brow with a strip of cloth, running it back through his spiky ginger hair.
“I’m right here, my Padawan,” he said softly down to his sick apprentice. Obi-Wan’s head tossed again, and he gently dabbed his face as the boy continued to mumble incoherently.
The tree around them creaked in the wind as the second storm continued to unleash its fury on the forest. Qui-Gon sincerely hoped it wouldn’t be blown over, that was the last thing he needed to happen right now. Suddenly Obi-Wan cried out as he nearly sat straight up.
“No, no, stay down,” Qui-Gon said quickly, taking the boy by his shoulders and gently easing him back down to the makeshift bed.
“Master, it’s burning!” Obi-Wan nearly yelled, sounding so panic-stricken that Qui-Gon quickly looked around to make sure the tree wasn’t on fire. But then he realized what the boy was referring to.
“I know you’re hot, Padawan, just hold in there for me.” Qui-Gon quickly undid Obi-Wan’s tunics, then he laid another wet strip of tabard on the boy’s bare, sweaty chest, hoping that would help alleviate some of the heat he was feeling.
“Burning…so hot….everywhere….no…c-can’t escape...”
Qui-Gon placed another strip of cloth on Obi-Wan’s stomach and a fourth one under his neck. Then he took the cloth from his forehead and once again started to slowly stroke it through his hair, hoping the gentle rhythm would help calm his feverish padawan. It didn’t seem to do much good, though, as the boy’s head tossed again, he back arching slightly as his right hand clutched at the robe underneath him.
“No, Master….so much water….help me…p-please….drowning….no...nooo…”
“Oh, Obi-Wan, I’m so sorry,” Qui-Gon said softly, his hand stilling as he felt a stab of guilt. He hadn’t realized Obi-Wan had been conscious when their ship filled up with water, and now the poor boy was reliving the awful experience. “It’s alright.” He sent the young Jedi a wave of comfort over their bond, though he doubted it would get through to him in his delirium. But after a moment Obi-Wan’s feverish mumblings quieted down somewhat, and his body stilled much of its restless tossing.
But though his delirium had abated somewhat, Obi-Wan’s fever continued to rage through the night. Qui-Gon spent the long, stormy hours going back and forth from the rain to rewet his strips of cloth, cleaning the boy’s wounded arm, and attempting to cool his feverish, sweaty skin. The storm finally faded into the distance as the first pale rays of dawn began to lighten the sky.
But the morning brought no hope to the Jedi master, his padawan was now almost completely still, only his chest moved, rising and falling rapidly with his shallow, ragged breathing. Two large, gentle fingers to the neck revealed that the boy’s pulse was racing, though it was weak and erratic. Qui-Gon sighed heavily, almost wishing now for the delirium and restlessness of earlier, he was finding this stillness to be much worse.
And now Qui-Gon knew for certain that unless his padawan received help beyond what he could give, he was going to die. He closed his eyes, his heart crying out at that admission even as he made it. For the second time in less than three days, Qui-Gon was faced with the possibility of losing the most important person in his lift, his dear padawan. The big Jedi bowed his head, he couldn’t take any more of this.
As Qui-Gon remained with head bowed, one hand still on Obi-Wan’s feverish brow, he felt the Force swirl around him, almost impatient as it demanded his attention. And then in his mind’s eye, he saw himself and his padawan walking down the corridor towards the cockpit of their ill-fated ship, following the captain as he chatted incessantly about the new modifications he had just made to his craft, and as they entered the lounge Qui-Gon’s gaze had made a casual inspection of the room, and then they were crossing towards the far corridor and the cockpit at the end of it, and there! The Jedi’s eyes flew open. A medical field-kit! It had been wedged in a corner under the bench against the right wall, the red and black insignia unmistakable even with the cursory visual sweep he had given it at the time, and completely forgotten about.
Why Captain Reysum had had a medical kit stowed in his lounge, when his ship had had a med-bay, he couldn’t guess, but he would be eternally grateful that he did. And now, thanks be to the Force, his path was clear. He was going back into the ocean.
Qui-Gon knew it would be dangerous, but he also knew that he no longer had any other choice. The antibiotics that were sure to be in that med-kit were Obi-Wan’s only chance now. He turned back to the boy, his hand still laying gently on his head. “Padawan,” he said softly, “I know I told you I would never go back in the ocean, but I’m afraid it’s become necessary. You’ll understand when you’re well again. And I promise to be careful. You just hold on for me, and I’ll be back very soon.” Then the master impulsively bent down, murmuring “I love you” as he kissed Obi-Wan’s too-warm forehead. Then he slowly got to his feet, satisfied that he had made his padawan as comfortable as possible, given the circumstances.
Qui-Gon fastened his belt around his waist, then he took his lightsaber off as he ducked out of the tree. Looking around, he quickly found what he wanted, a small group of thick, moderately-sized bushes. He cut down three of them with one quick swipe of his lightsaber, then gathering them up in his arms he went back over to the tree’s entrance. He took one last lingering look inside, willing his padawan to be alright, then he piled the bushes in front of the hole, hoping it would be enough to keep any curious animals away. He stepped back to survey his handiwork for a moment. Well, it wasn’t much, but it would have to do. Time was of the essence.
Turning his back on the tree, Qui-Gon took off at a run through the forest. Branches dripped on his head as he ducked under them, never slowing his pace. The forest was just stirring to life in the pale morning light, the undergrowth rustling as creatures ventured out of their shelter from last night’s deluge. Heedless, Qui-Gon ran on, until at last he heard the now-familiar honking of those large sea-birds, and the very welcome sound of crashing ocean waves.
Leaving the forest behind, Qui-Gon ran out onto the beach, his feet carrying him straight to the water’s edge. Without hesitation he waded out into the surf, quickly putting his aqua-breather in his mouth. As he waded further out numerous small cuts and abrasions he hadn’t even been aware of started stinging as they came in contact with the salty water, but he paid them no heed. Once the water was chest high, he dove under the waves and started swimming with powerful strokes even as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the murky underwater gloom. He hadn’t really seen anything of the ocean floor the first time he was in here, and now he looked about himself with a mixture of interest and wariness, remembering how hungry some things were in here.
There were plants of many different hues and shapes swaying to and fro in the ocean current, teeming with schools of small silvery fish. Qui-Gon caught glimpses now and again of larger fish sheltering in the plants, as well as small creatures made up of tentacles protruding from coiled, ridged shells. As he swam deeper, the Jedi saw that the plants were growing larger, and now there were corals and sponges of intricate shapes and varying sizes also amongst the plants. Sudden movement out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention, and Qui-Gon turned to see one of those sea-birds darting into a school of fish and out again, a yellow fish now clamped triumphantly in its beak. The bird was very graceful in the water, he saw, with a speed and agility it could never attain on land. It was soon joined by two other birds, but Qui-Gon turned away, knowing he should be able to see the ship soon.
The Jedi master kept swimming, his eyes scanning everywhere for a flash of metal, a glint of silver. He looked further off in the distance, and almost stopped swimming for a moment in surprise. There, far ahead near the surface of the water, silhouetted by the sun overhead, was one of the oddest sea-creatures he had ever seen. It had four flippers, two on each side of a narrow, streamlined body that ended in a short tail. But it was the other end of the creature that had immediately caught Qui-Gon’s attention, its neck was almost as long as its body and tail combined, giving it a most bizarre shape. Even as he watched, he saw three others join the first from below, and then they started swimming away to deeper ocean, long necks held proudly high as they went.
Wondering what other strange creatures he’d see in here, Qui-Gon turned back to his scan of the ocean floor. The ship had to be around here somewhere. And finally he spotted it, lying in the midst of a crumbling yellow coral reef that it had obviously crushed when it landed. The Jedi winced inwardly as he got his first good look at the outside of the damaged ship, and the two massive holes at either end of it. How he and Obi-Wan had managed to survive to the surface in that thing, he would never know.
As Qui-Gon swam closer, he saw that the ship already had several small shelled organisms attached to its hull, which had already begun to dull as the saltwater eroded its high-gloss finish. Knowing the hole on the front of the ship was sealed by the blast-door, Qui-Gon kept swimming on to the other end. But as he approached the other hole, a much larger version of one of those fish they had eaten for breakfast two days ago rose up out of the coral, blocking his path.
Immediately sensing the creature was on the hunt, Qui-Gon quickly sunk down behind a large chunk of broken coral reef. Peering out of a gap, he watched the carnivorous fish warily as it swam back and forth. It was getting too close, and he had a nasty feeling that it already knew he was here. The fish was longer than he was tall, easily five meters, and its large teeth looked very formidable in its bony, upturned jaw. The thing looked like it could bite right through him, and it seemed to have selected him as its next meal.
I suppose fate would consider this a fair turn-around, Qui-Gon thought, shaking his head at the irony. Eat and be eaten, indeed. Well, he had no intention of being this fish’s breakfast. Obi-Wan needed him. As he looked around for inspiration, he tried to keep from thinking about his poor, sick padawan being left to die alone in that tree, should something happen to him. Well, he would just have to make sure nothing did.
Qui-Gon picked up a large rock by his right foot, then stretching out with the Force he threw it to land on the other side of the fish from his position, starting a small avalanche of yellow coral. Just as he hoped, the fish turned its back on him and went over to investigate the disturbance. Qui-Gon quickly grabbed an even larger rock, and rising up out of his hiding place he hurled it several meters farther away than the first one, using the Force to crash it into a pinkish-orange coral reef some distance way. The resulting mayhem disturbed several good-sized bright-orange fish, which scattered in all directions as they swam quickly away. But thankfully not too quickly for Qui-Gon’s stalker, who immediately gave chase to a group of four of the fish who had chosen to stay together as they fled.
Seizing his opportunity, the Jedi master made a break for the gaping hole in the back of the ship, trying to be both quick and silent. He was greeted by the same tangle of wires and debris he had swam through the other night, but at least this time he could do so more carefully and avoid hurting himself. A distant yellow glow ahead told him that several of the emergency lights were still working, even after two and a half days submerged in the ocean. Qui-Gon took one least look outside to make sure nothing would follow him, and paused when he noticed a large fish with a flat bottom and a large fin on top gliding purposefully above the pinkish-orange coral bed. Obviously another predator, but thankfully it did not seem to have noticed him. Slowly, Qui-Gon backed up down the ruined corridor of the ship, making sure he did not attract any more attention to himself. The other fish was nowhere in sight now, and he could only hope it had forgotten all about him. A piece of debris hit him in the back, and he turned around and slowly started heading into the murky yellow gloom.
The ship had certainly changed since they had crashed. The corridor’s metal walls were already starting to rust, large dark-orange patches marring the once gleaming surfaces in several places. And there was already a thin coating of indefinable muck on the floor, and all over the chunks of debris that had settled there. Qui-Gon used the Force to sweep aside several sharp-edged pieces of debris that were still floating in the water, clearing his path as he swam along.
Qui-Gon finally entered the main lounge area at the end of the corridor, and he saw that it looked much the same as the rest of the ship. He swam straight towards the bench along the right wall, where the Force-vision had shown him the medical kit was located. Sinking down to the floor, he looked in the back corner. And felt his heart sink. The medical kit was no longer there. Cursing silently to himself, Qui-Gon turned around and scanned the rest of the lounge. It must have become dislodged in the rush of water, so where was it? He finally spotted a rectangular box laying on the floor by the blast-door, and he quickly swam over to it. The medical insignia was clearly visible through the thin layer of film on the kit, and the Jedi breathed a sigh of relief.
But then Qui-Gon noticed something else that made him groan inwardly. There were punctures all over the kit, in such neat rows that they were obviously teeth marks. He carefully picked it up, and saw the same marks on the other side. Obviously some creature had tried valiantly to eat the thing, before deciding it didn’t taste very good. And now he could only hope that there was anything salvageable left inside.
Holding the medical kit close to his chest, Qui-Gon turned to head back, but then he noticed a large cabinet on the other wall, next to the computer console he had hung on for dear life to during the crash. Perhaps there was something in there they could use. Swimming over, he opened the doors, quickly scanning the shelves. He saw data chips, spare engine parts, boxes of tools… Then his gaze reached the bottom shelf, and he smiled. There next to a large can of engine lubricant was a yellow survival pack, the blue insignia indicating it came from a specialty store on Corellia.
Picking it up, Qui-Gon saw that it was made of sturdy cloth, and had shoulder and waist straps for easy carrying. But just as he unfastened the top, intending to see what was inside, he felt a tendril of warning from the Force, letting him know he was in danger. He quickly stuffed the medical kit inside the pack and refastened the flap. Then he quickly slung the pack over his shoulders and buckled the waist-strap, knowing he needed to get out of here right now. He kicked off from the cabinet, swimming over the game tables as he headed for the corridor leading outside. He hoped he made it out before whatever the Force was warning him of came calling, but then a second later he realized with a sinking feeling that it was already too late.
Something large was moving in the yellow murk, heading his way. Qui-Gon thought at first that it was one of those predatory fish he had seen before coming in here, but it didn’t take him long to realize that this creature was much too large to be either of those. He quickly grabbed a game table and used it to quickly pull himself down to the floor, just as the creature’s head emerged from the corridor. It was huge. All Qui-Gon could see at the moment was a cylindrical, dark grey snout, the mouth partially open to reveal a row of very large, pointy teeth.
Finally the huge jaw ended as the creature swam further into the room, and was soon followed by a pair of large black eyes on either side of its massive head. And perhaps it was Qui-Gon’s imagination, but they already seemed to be staring right at him. However, the creature turned to the right as it entered, and the head was soon followed by the start of a cylindrical, snake-like body. Qui-Gon’s heart sank as the creature’s body kept coming, even as the thing turned its head to start patrolling the center of the lounge, and there was still no sign of a tail. He saw that it had powerful-looking front flippers, and then a pair of back flippers eventually followed as the body grew slightly narrower, and then finally the thing ended in a flat, broad tail.
Qui-Gon estimated that the creature was about fifteen meters long, almost twice as long as the lounge. It looked very menacing in the dimly lit gloom, like a giant shadowy snake. And somehow the lounge seemed a lot smaller than it had been just five minutes ago. It made him suddenly recall a painting he had once seen of a sea-serpent attacking an ancient ocean vessel on Ansion. It had featured sailors throwing harpoons uselessly at the beast while it leisurely ate a big hole in the side of their ship.
Suddenly the game table the Jedi was sheltering behind seemed like very measly cover. He felt the rush of displaced water as the serpent’s snout passed by directly overhead. And now he could clearly see that the thing would have no trouble whatsoever swallowing him whole. He was most definitely in trouble.
Qui-Gon stretched out with the Force, touching the creature’s mind, even as he began looking around him for inspiration. Its mind was primitive, but it was also purposeful, quite obviously focused on only two things: its hunger, and the edible morsel it could clearly smell was in here. It didn’t take Qui-Gon long to realize he would not be successful in distracting this thing, it was too focused on the hunt, and besides, there wasn’t any sort of distraction he could come up with that would occupy the creature long enough for him to be able to escape.
The serpent’s tail passed by overhead, so close he had to duck. The thing was making methodical circles of the lounge, slow and deliberate, as if it was sizing him up. Apparently it was in no hurry to eat him, obviously knowing it had him cornered.
The sea-serpent’s tail made another close pass, and then its head abruptly changed direction, at the same time the Force screamed out a warning. Its body tensed, and then like a spring uncoiling it shot suddenly forward, its massive toothy jaws gaping wide. Qui-Gon barely managed to scramble out of the way, and the whole ship shuddered as the creature’s head slammed into the game table he had just been sheltering under, cracking it in two.
The serpent’s whole body convulsed, its middle crashing into the ceiling as the tail hit the wall right above where Qui-Gon had taken refuge. The ship shuddered again as a hail of debris rained down from the ceiling. The creature stopped thrashing, and then its head was coming at him again. He only managed to avoid it by turning quickly sideways, the jaws slamming into the wall right beside him. He was so close now he could clearly see that the creature actually had two rows of pointy, cone-shaped teeth, exactly the same size and shape as the puncture marks in the medical kit.
The creature had obviously been in here before, and Qui-Gon realized it must have made the ship its new lair. And he had wandered unwittingly right into it. The ship shuddered violently as the serpent thrashed about again, more debris raining down with a screech of metal on metal. As Qui-Gon dodged a large piece of side-plating, he suddenly had an idea. If he could get the creature to destroy enough of the ship, he could trap it in here long enough for him to escape.
The sea-serpent stopped thrashing, and Qui-Gon knew it was gearing up to attack him again. Quickly scanning the ceiling, he picked out a particularly unstable area and started swimming towards it. The creature was on him in seconds, and he dove quickly for the floor as it slammed into the ceiling directly above him. He threw up his arms to protect himself as more debris came crashing down, and he winced as something sharp grazed his right forearm. Twisting around, he aimed next for the wall adjacent to the main corridor.
Qui-Gon wasn’t even halfway there when he felt the Force scream another warning. The creature had recovered much faster this time, it was already barreling towards him as he turned towards it. Not having any other option, he stretched his arms out and grabbed onto the creature’s upper jaw, using its own momentum to flip his body up and over its head. The beast crashed into the wall, a great clanging sound rending through the water as the wall buckled inward, partially caving in.
Qui-Gon was still trying to get himself turned upright even as he swam quickly away to avoid the falling debris. He knew he needed to finish this soon, that had been entirely too close. He was relieved to see that debris was now partially blocking the entrance to the corridor, one more hit to the other wall ought to do it. The hard part would be getting out before it all caved in on top of him.
Qui-Gon could tell the creature was really starting to get annoyed. It came at him this time with its mouth opened wider than ever, he had to sink all the way to the floor to avoid the gaping jaws. The serpent hit the wall above him with another tremendous crash, and Qui-Gon swam with all his strength for the corridor as more debris rained down, the wall buckling and twisting with a loud metallic groan. As large square chunks of metal knocked painfully into his legs he grabbed the edge of the wall and quickly pulled himself the rest of the way clear into the corridor. Turning around, he watched as the debris kept falling, clanging and crashing as it filled up the entrance to the lounge. Seeing that there were still too many gaps in the barrier, he reached out with Force and collapsed the pile even more, until he was satisfied the creature would not be able to get free anytime soon.
Qui-Gon sagged against the wall in relief, then he took the pack off his back and checked it to make sure it was still intact. There was a piece of metal stuck in it, but he quickly pulled it out, relieved to see that that was the only damage it had sustained. The reassuring rectangular shape of the med-kit was still there in there, and that was all that mattered to Qui-Gon at the moment. He slung the pack back onto his back, then he started swimming down the corridor. He didn’t know how long the creature would be trapped for, but he figured the sooner he left this place, the better.
Qui-Gon made it to the end of the corridor, and cautiously peered out. Thankfully, there was no sign of any more carnivorous fish, the coral reefs seemed relatively deserted. He wondered if the commotion in the ship had frightened everything off. He hoped so. Qui-Gon swam out of the corridor, turning back the way he had come. But as he swam back past the ship, he realized that he could hear the creature still clanging around inside. In fact, it seemed to be making more racket than it had while it was trying to eat him…
Suddenly Qui-Gon realized that these were not the thrashings of a hungry animal denied its prey, no, this was driven by a need more desperate… He brushed against the sea-serpent’s primitive mind again, and easily sensed what was wrong: it was drowning. Qui-Gon cursed himself, wishing that he had considered the possibility that the creature might be an air-breather before he trapped it in the ship.
Qui-Gon sighed heavily at the quandary he was now faced with. He needed to get back to Obi-Wan, the boy was desperately in need of the medicine in the med-kit. But as he continued to listen to the clanging coming from the ship, and sense the creature’s desperation, he knew he couldn’t leave it to drown. He just couldn’t.
Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment. Hang on, my Obi-Wan, I’ll be there soon, he thought to his padawan, then he turned back around. The whole ship was shuddering with the creature’s thrashings as he swam quickly back down the corridor, and he wondered how he would manage to free the thing in time. When he made it to the pile of debris, he saw that it had already begun to shift, but not enough so far to make a difference.
Swimming up to the top of the debris-pile, Qui-Gon began to shift it aside as carefully as he could manage. He didn’t want to bring it all down on top of him, but he also needed to do this as quickly as possible. He pulled on a large piece of plating, wincing as it scraped against other pieces of debris, the metallic screeching setting his teeth on edge even underwater. As he continued to work, he felt sharp metallic edges cutting into his hands, and wished he had gloves of some kind. Soon his numerous cuts were stinging from the salt-water, but he kept going, sensing the creature didn’t have much longer.
When Qui-Gon moved a particularly large and heavy square piece of debris, having to use the Force to pull it free, it set off an avalanche in the barrier, and he had to quickly back up to avoid getting hit. He saw that the barrier had now come halfway down, and he caught a glimpse of frantic shadowy movement in the lounge beyond. There, that ought to do it, he thought with satisfaction, it shouldn’t take the creature long to see that it now had a way out.
Just as Qui-Gon started to turn around and swim back, the rest of the debris pile suddenly exploded outwards. The serpent had obviously realized it was free already. He threw up his arms to protect himself, and barely kept himself from crying out as he felt something razor-sharp cut deep into his left arm. The serpent’s head barreled past him, and just as the rest of the body followed suit, Qui-Gon grabbed onto the end of the creature’s tail. Just as he hoped, the beast didn’t slow down at all, so desperate was it to reach the surface. He hung tight as he was pulled along, down the corridor and back out of the ship, and straight on to the surface.
Qui-Gon let go of the sea-serpent’s tail before it reached the surface, and quickly started swimming back to the shore, he needed to get out of here before that thing got its breath back. And thanks to his little joy-ride, he now had a head-start. Looking over at his arm as he swam, he saw that his left sleeve was already soaked in blood, and now he was trailing a small cloud of it through the water. He was able to suppress the pain for now with his Jedi techniques, but unfortunately they didn’t work to stop the bleeding. And somehow he got the feeling that trailing blood was not a good thing to be doing in this ocean.
Dropping back down to the coral reef, Qui-Gon took off the survival pack. He thought briefly of using the bandages in the medical kit, but he didn’t want to take the chance of the rest of its contents floating away in the currents. Instead he tore off part of his inner tunic, and used it to tightly bind his wounded arm. Unfortunately, his blood soaked quickly through it, and he knew then that the wound was a bad one. He tore off even more of his tunic and quickly wrapped it around his arm as well. It would have to do for now, he needed to get back to land as soon as possible.
Shouldering the pack once more, Qui-Gon too off swimming in the direction he knew the shore lay. He kept his senses on alert, ever-mindful of everything that moved. So far he was only seeing schools of small, harmless fish, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t last. And sure enough, he was halfway to shore when a warning from the Force told him he’d better get back under cover. He sunk down to hide in some dense vegetation, and looked around to see what was wrong.
Qui-Gon didn’t have long to wait, as one of those large, flat-bellied fishes with the fin on top swam by overhead, giving him a good look at rows of sharp, triangular teeth. The fish, or shark as he remembered they were called on some worlds, turned around, and he knew it had been attracted here by the scent of his blood. It seemed reluctant to follow him into the vegetation, however, and was now swimming purposefully back and forth overhead, obviously waiting for him to come back out again. Force, he didn’t have time for this!
A sudden urgent beeping sound caught Qui-Gon’s attention, and he quickly realized it was coming from his aqua-breather. On top of everything else, he was running out of air. He knew the frequency of beeps meant he only had about five minutes left. Just perfect. The shark was showing no signs of losing interest, if anything, its passes were taking it closer and closer to his hiding place each time. Keeping a wary eye on it, Qui-Gon started swimming through the vegetation, as close to the ocean floor as he could manage.
But it didn’t take the Jedi long to realize there was no fooling the shark, it was following his every move. And soon the vegetation gave out, a large bare patch of nothing but sand in front of him now. And the shark was still right above him. Qui-Gon looked around quickly, feeling almost desperate for inspiration. He had to make it back to his padawan, he had come too far to lose now!
Apparently the shark felt the same way, Qui-Gon watched as it swam out over the sand and turned around, now so low they were practically eye to eye. He backed up further into the vegetation, even as the shark accelerated towards him, its mouth gaping wide. Suddenly, something very large passed by overhead, and Qui-Gon watched with amazement as the sea-serpent he had so recently freed, small pieces of debris still imbedded here and there in its flesh, closed its huge jaws over the shark. Not slowing down once, even as the shark thrashed in its deadly grip, it swam away in a great cloud of blood, and was soon lost in the distance.
Smiling to himself in relief, silently thanking the Force, and the sea-serpent, for the fortuitous twist of fate, Qui-Gon swam quickly for the surface. He was halfway there when the aqua-breather’s two-hour air supply finally gave out. He broke the surface moments later, breathing a sigh of relief as he took the breather out of his mouth and stowed it back in his belt pouch. Looking over, he saw that the shore wasn’t too far, and soon he was swimming as fast as he could back towards it.
Qui-Gon’s arms and legs were burning from the exertion as he neared the shore, but thankfully he had not run into anything else hungry as he swam. Suddenly he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and his body tensed again in combat readiness. But he soon realized that it was unnecessary, for swimming next to him was the largest turtle he had ever seen. Its shell was at least three meters long, and Qui-Gon found its slow, unconcerned paddling reassuring as they passed by each other, the turtle headed for deeper water. He took it to mean there was no more danger nearby, and sure enough he finally made it without incident back onto solid ground.
Checking quickly to make sure the survival pack was still secure, Qui-Gon took off at a run back across the beach and into the forest. His legs were throbbing here and there as he ran, and he knew they must already be covered in bruises from all that debris that had fallen on them in the ship. His left arm was hurting too, but he didn’t once slow his pace, his padawan needed him. Soon their tree-shelter was in sight, and the Jedi was reassured to see the bushes still piled in front of the entrance. He quickly pushed them out of the way, then unshouldering the pack he ducked inside.
Obi-Wan looked much the same as he had when Qui-Gon left him, except perhaps, to the big Jedi’s concerned eye, his breathing was even more shallow and labored. Kneeling beside the boy, he put a large hand on his padawan’s forehead, he was still burning up. “I’m back, Obi-Wan,” he said softly to the sick boy, not expecting an answer, but hoping for one just the same.
Settling cross-legged next to his apprentice, Qui-Gon quickly unfastened the survival pack and took out the medical kit, laying the soggy pack aside for now. Saying a silent prayer to the Force, he opened the kit, and smiled in relief. There was a vial of antibiotics, and it was still perfectly intact. Thankfully the sea-serpent’s teeth didn’t appear to have damaged anything inside the kit, just the outer casing. Quickly scanning the rest of the contents, he nodded with satisfaction that he had enough here to help his padawan, and eventually himself as well. But first things first.
Qui-Gon carefully unwrapped the strip of tabard from Obi-Wan’s injured arm, wincing when he saw that it had worsened even more since he had last cleaned it. Well, it was time to put a stop to that. He first cleaned the wound with medicated sterile pads, certainly glad that everything in the kit was individually wrapped in airtight packaging. Next he injected the whole vial of antibiotics directly into the wound, then he covered it with a large bacta patch, and lastly he wound a sterile bandage around the wounded arm and secured it with med-tape.
Qui-Gon gently placed the treated arm on his padawan’s stomach, sighing with relief at the sight of the bright white bandage. Finally, he had gotten Obi-Wan the help he needed. Pain in his own arm brought Qui-Gon back to matters at hand, and he turned his attention to his own injuries. He carefully unwrapped the salty strip of tunic from his left forearm, and then he slowly pulled his torn sleeve back. He winced slightly as he got a good look at the wound, the cut extended almost the whole length of his forearm, and looked very deep even with a cursory examination. It was also still bleeding quite heavily.
Qui-Gon scanned the medical kit, but found nothing he could use for sutures. Unwrapping another sterile pad, he cleaned the wound, and in doing so he realized that the cut went all the way down to his bone. No wonder it was still bleeding so badly. Not knowing if it would do any good, he unwrapped a bacta patch and firmly pressed it to the cut. And watched as the patch quickly turned red and started dripping. Force, the cut was just too deep, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop the bleeding this way. Pressing his lips together, he realized there was only one thing he could do to keep himself from losing too much blood.
Sighing in resignation, Qui-Gon took his lightsaber off of his belt. He thumbed it down to low-power, already steeling himself for what he had to do next. Removing the blood-soaked patch from his arm, he took a deep breath, then he slowly and carefully began to run the lightsaber’s glowing blade over the wound. Soon the smell of burnt flesh made his nose wrinkle, but he kept going, drawing on the Force to help keep the pain at bay. Finally he had cauterized the whole cut, and switching off his saber he let it fall to the floor, breathing deeply as he worked through the pain that managed to leak through his defenses.
There was now a long, angry burn on his arm where the cut had been, and he knew he had just done extensive damage to his tissues. But at least he was no longer bleeding, and he had confidence that the Temple’s healers would be able to fix his arm as good as new eventually. He unwrapped another bacta patch and laid it on the burn, breathing in relief as it helped alleviate some of the pain he was still trying to deal with. Then taking a roll of bandaging, he slowly wrapped it around his arm and secured it with more of the med-tape. There, that was better. Qui-Gon shook his in amusement for a moment as he looked back over at his padawan, realizing that they now had matching bandaged arms.
Now that both of them were taken care of, Qui-Gon gathered all of the soiled strips of cloth, medical-kit wrappers, and other assorted trash, and bundled it all together in the corner of the tree. Satisfied that their shelter was tidy again, the big Jedi closed the medical kit and set it next to the survival pack. Curious, he picked the pack back up and quickly rifled through its contents, it was time to find out what was in here. There was a bottle of water, a small case of emergency food and energy capsules, a tightly-bundled survival shelter, a small cooking pot with a bowl, plate, cup and utensils neatly stacked inside, a pair of electrobinoculars, a small hand-lamp, a rope with a grappling hook, and a blaster with an extra power pack. Qui-Gon’s eyebrows rose at the last, wondering just what sort of survival situations Captain Reysum had been expecting to get himself into. Disappointed at not finding any sort of communications device inside, he set the pack back down, satisfied at least that they could make good use of most of the rest of its contents.
Qui-Gon turned back to Obi-Wan, gently running his hand through the boy’s sweaty hair. He was still burning up with fever, but the big Jedi was confident that the antibiotics would soon work to bring it down. He would just continue to watch over the boy until they did.
Qui-Gon settled back against the wall of the tree, feeling himself starting to grow very tired. He was reminded that he had not had any sleep last night, nor any food since lunch yesterday, and after this morning’s exertion, he felt that he had been taxed to his limits. He thought briefly of the food capsules in the pack, but decided to save them until they really needed them.
Instead, Qui-Gon gently gathered his padawan in his arms, wanting him close so he could keep an eye on his condition, he wasn’t quite out of the woods just yet. He positioned the boy so his head lay on his shoulder, then he settled them both down to lay comfortably on their makeshift bed. Qui-Gon closed his eyes, feeling sleep pulling at him, but he wasn’t willing to give in as long as Obi-Wan was still feverish.
Morning quickly passed into afternoon, and the sunlight outside was soon cut off as more clouds gathered in the sky. Wind rustled through the trees, and Qui-Gon knew what was coming next. Sure enough, yet another storm soon rolled in, and lasted for the rest of the afternoon. As the hours wore on, Qui-Gon began to feel a little worried for his padawan. Why hadn’t his fever come down yet? Reaching for the empty vial of antibiotics, he checked the expiration date on the label, something he hadn’t thought of doing before. Well, it was expired, but only by a few standard months. They should still be mostly effective by this time.
And yet Obi-Wan remained feverish and far too still as the hours passed, though to be fair his breathing had evened out somewhat. He must have been in really bad shape indeed if a whole vial of medicine was taking this long to work. And as the afternoon dragged on, Qui-Gon grew so exhausted that he felt he was in a waking dream. His arm was still twinging now and again, and his head began to ache, but still he refused to give in to the rest his body was so desperately craving. The storm finally passed as the sun set, a steady downpour soon taking its place.
As the tree filled with shadows, Qui-Gon heard Obi-Wan exhale his breath in a soft sigh, his body relaxing completely in his arms. He quickly moved his hand to his padawan’s brow, and then he closed his eyes in profound relief as he felt cool skin there for the first time in over a day and a half. Obi-Wan’s fever had finally broken. “Thank the Force,” he murmured into his padawan’s spiky hair, smiling in relief.
Qui-Gon briefly contemplated laying his apprentice all the way back down to the floor, now that he at last knew that he was going to be alright, but he felt himself strangely reluctant to let him go just yet. He was finding the strong, steady heartbeat against his own, and the soft, even breath of air on his neck very reassuring, encouraging signs of life and returning health from someone he had worried about for so long. And then Obi-Wan settled the matter himself, stirring for the first time all day as he murmured quietly, snuggling deeper into Qui-Gon’s embrace as he wrapped his arms around his Master. Then he lay still again, passing into a deep, healing sleep.
Qui-Gon smiled down at his padawan’s spiky ginger head, laying comfortably on his chest. All the danger he had faced today, and all the pain and exhaustion he was feeling at the moment because of it, paled in comparison to the joy and relief he felt at seeing his boy finally on the mend. It had all been well worth it, and he knew he would go through it all again in a heartbeat if his padawan needed him to. But now that they were both safe and sound, they would rest together, secure in each other’s arms. “Goodnight, my Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said softly, bending down to kiss the top off his padawan’s head. Then the big Jedi at last let himself give in to the exhaustion he had been fighting all day. He was asleep even before his eyes had closed all the way.
=================================
I hope that was okay, writing action has always been my achille's heal as an author. But anyway, thanks for reading!
Next post is Obi-Wan's point of view. And why yes, I am switching the POV back and forth between our two favorite Jedi with every chapter.
-----signature-----
"Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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Cole_Kenobi
Registered:
Aug '05
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Date Posted:
5/4 12:22pm
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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Wow. This was a nicely, intense chapter. I love your style of writing. It is so vivid and filled with details, but not so much that it is a slow read, its just the perfect mix. A perfectly crafted story.
Very entertaining, the part where the fish/shark was after Qui-gon. And so like Qui-gon to let the it go, and not drown, at least he got a free ride out of it. Ahah. Very ingenius.
Brillant writing. Superb story. Although, I'm a little bit worried for Qui-gon, I don't believe he gave himself an antibiotic, he better be careful, or else Obi-wan will have to take care of him. lol
Thank you for the lovely update! I had been waiting for it! =)
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Valairy_Scot
Title: PT Rewrite Winner
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
5/4 3:53pm
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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Though I knew both Jedi would be okay, I was worried. Don't be worried about your action scenes.
Excellent update!
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http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52 Prolific Author thread: list & links there. Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping. Writes on inspiration, not a schedule. Proud master of several padawans
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Sabriel_Orion
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
5/5 12:22am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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You did great on the action scenes. Don't think you didn't.
You've kept my interest, so you don't have to worry on that score either.
*hugs*
Keep up the good work.
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"Does the Walker choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?" from Sabriel, by Garth Nix Sabriel: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v409/sabriel_orion/PadawanSabrielOrionColored.png
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
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Date Posted:
5/5 3:43am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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Brilliant. 
Every detail was meticulously done, and the action in the ship and surrounding water kept me glued to the screen.
I could feel in your writing Qui-Gons worry for his Padawan, all in all a very action packed post 
Great job
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Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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jedidas3
Registered:
Apr '07
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Date Posted:
5/5 4:20am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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Wow! That was intense! Wonderful attention to detail providing your readers with another delightful post. Although, I was kind of worried about Obi-Wan for a while! Here's hoping that you'll update soon!
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Qui-Gina-Jinn
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
5/5 11:25am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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What an intense update!
And a wonderful one!
He backed up further into the vegetation, even as the shark accelerated towards him, its mouth gaping wide. Suddenly, something very large passed by overhead, and Qui-Gon watched with amazement as the sea-serpent he had so recently freed, small pieces of debris still imbedded here and there in its flesh, closed its huge jaws over the shark. Not slowing down once, even as the shark thrashed in its deadly grip, it swam away in a great cloud of blood, and was soon lost in the distance.
Somehow I couldn't help but thinking 'There's always a bigger fish' 
Glad to know Obi-Wan's fever broke - now let's just hope Qui-Gon doesn't catch one himself from that wound - it sounded pretty serious.
Wonder how/when they will ever be rescued...
Can't wait for more!
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Dark Lady of the DLC
Fan Force Denmark
I was there - FFEurope meeting, Stockholm 2005, Celebration Europe 2007, JediCon 2008
Not to worry - we are still flying half a ship!
Ke nu'jurkadir sha Mando'ade
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Glenstorm
Registered:
Mar '06
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Date Posted:
5/5 2:09pm
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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Wow
Loved every second of that. This story just keeps getting better and better.
I absolutely loved the title. I kept thinking about where I'd heard it before. Now I know
And I know everyone else has said this too, but it's true: don't worry about your action scene. I too find it hard to write action but I think you've done brilliantly!
I really enjoyed the underwater adventure and, like Qui-Gina, I couldn't help but keep thinking of the "There's always a bigger fish" line.
Well done! More soon please
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"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Songfic writer addict! All of of my Fics and FanArt can be found in my bio 
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JediKenshin
Registered:
Mar '08
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Date Posted:
5/7 8:36am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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Excellent, as always. Love the title of the chapter.
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Lileia
Registered:
Jan '08
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Date Posted:
5/22 5:02am
Subject:
RE: A Long Time Ago, But Not so Far Away (Qui, Obi JA)--Ch. 3: Hell's Aquarium--5/4
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I liked the story very much and wait for updates impatiently.
But I have a message to you from my Russian friend who asked me to translate it for him.
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The last episode is so very dynamic that it’s impossible to turn yourself away from it! Of course, I know that ancient monsters can’t eat Qui-Gon, but I still hold my breath while reading! It’s like you’re in a movie theatre, clutching arms of the chair out of worry. 
Every single detail is so logical and precise!
And I love the wonderful lyrics of Qui-Gon’s fatherly emotions!
The character of Qui-Gon is described in full detail, including his great love to all living things and absolute connection to the Living Force. He can’t leave to die even the monster.
This is amazing, wonderful and so moving.
Even the eerie episode when Qui-Gon treats his wound with his lightsaber is written without naturalism and gloominess.
This is a pure romanticism (and | |