Author Topic: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise
commander_of_501st 
Registered: Jun '06
40003_Clone Commander Appo
Date Posted: 4/5 12:48pm Subject: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise - Date Edited: 4/6 4:50pm (3 edits total) Edited By: commander_of_501st
Title: Star wars: Civilian uprise
Author: commander_of_501st
Timeframe: Before the Saga
Genre: drama, humor, thriller
Characters: Far Undi, Harak Dir, and others
Keywords beginning first civilian uprise
Summary: Far undi tries to bring peace to the galaxy.
And: I'm from belgium, so my english isn't that bad, but sertenly not literature worthy.
Disclaimer: Based on stories of George and Lucasfilm;


This is the beginning of a story I had in mind for a couple of years now, I know it’s not well written and I’m not English, but bare with me happy .

The force isn’t discovered yet, light sabers either. The First republic was formed and laser pistols have been invented for only 25 years or so.

In my story, the force and the order of the jedi are yet to be made and discovered. It’s a beginning of the force and jedi.

I know a lot doesn’t fit with the traditional star wars history, but I made this story about 3 years ago, without doing a lot of research.

This is the background story, something you need to know to follow the main story. Only 2 characters are in it. One of the bad guys Harak Dir and the leading character Far Undi. BTW, srry for the names happy they're not staying. it's just temporary.

Hope you enjoy it happy



Star wars : Civilian Uprise.


The Background story:

Dark times cloud the universe. Only half a century after being founded in Coruscant, the New Galactic Republic send the human Commander Harak Dir to the outer rim systems. This to rescue the last few political faces, abducted by outer rim warlords as protest to the forming of the Galactic Republic. After politicians where brought back to coruscant, they informed the people of the outer rim policy’s. Not long after the first rescues, the senate gave Commander Harak Dir a new assignment : To bring down their ruling and free all civilians from enslavement.

But Harak Dir wasn’t put up with this. Rescuing people means they need somewhere to stay as long as their planet is at war. Over the last 9 years, Millions of transport ship brought uncountable fugitives to Republican planets. Most of them, especially Coruscant, suffered from an explosion of its population. A growth which it could not control.

Harak Dir could not see his home planet be destroyed by immigrants, so he made a hidden agenda. Whenever a transport needed to cross a war area in space to get to the Republican border, he gave the order to his crew to fire at everything they saw. In reports he send to Coruscant, he wrote :“ … these where not transportships containing fugitives, but spies trying to stealth into our fleet. ” this way, he tried to stop the immigration.

But while the New Galactic Republic thought they where bringing justice, the outer rim has never seen such darkness as now. Because they where mostly outnumbered, outer rim governments forced civilians to fight in the war. If they refused, they would be killed. In the battlefield, they wouldn’t fight for their planet, but for their own lives. After a few battles, Harak Dir discovered this, but did nothing to prevent it, and did even more to prevent the senate from knowing. Many resisted, trying to fight their government … and Harak Dir. But only the more organized resistances saw no victory in this. They focused on transporting their members away from any wars.

At Clak’dor VII, home planet of the Bith, transports are about to start their journey. But not only civilians are trying to escape this time. The leader of the fleet, Far Undi, was abducted not so long ago. Even though he’s young, due to his father’s influence, he used to be one of the senators of coruscant. when he gets back home, he wants to change things that are happening in the outer rim. Little does he know of Harak’s intentions, to let no one pas his fleet…


Chapter 1 : The escape

Yet to be written.

 

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commander_of_501st 
Registered: Jun '06
40003_Clone Commander Appo
Date Posted: 4/16 12:56pm Subject: RE: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise
im' sorry to say, but it's gonne take some time to write it. school is getting very buissy, so i won't have much time for a while. hopefully i'll get more time soon

commander

 

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LordNyax113 
Registered: Oct '07
6948_EV-9D9
Date Posted: 4/16 7:10pm Subject: RE: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise
Good start! Keep it up! applause

 

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Padawan of Aiel
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Aiel 
Registered: Oct '04
23765_Han and Leia
Date Posted: 4/22 6:00pm Subject: RE: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise - Date Edited: 4/24 11:45pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Aiel
Really good start! applause Just be careful of all the full-stops, commas are just as good for dividing up sentences in paragraphs and it doesn't stop the flow of the story.

Otherwise I'm very impressed! Well done. happy

 

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Master to TheOnlyJediPrincess
Bar-Wench of the Meanders Inn/O'Kooky Pub.
A Slight Disruption: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26022301/
Revolution of Fate: COMING SOON!
"The Beatles save the world from boredom."- George Harrison.
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commander_of_501st 
Registered: Jun '06
40003_Clone Commander Appo
Date Posted: 4/30 4:26pm Subject: RE: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise
hey,

school will end in june, so that's when i'll start writing tongue

btw, in almost every sentance, i use a comma happy if i would use more comma's, i think it'd get more complicated to read.

thx for the comments !! i'll try to adjust my writing a bit happy


untill june,


commander

 

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commander_of_501st 
Registered: Jun '06
40003_Clone Commander Appo
Date Posted: 5/31 4:14pm Subject: RE: Star Wars: Civilian Uprise
hey,


school is almost over, but the presure is all gone happy

i'll begin writing the first chapter soon.


greets

commander

 

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