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Author	Topic: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Completed 5/6~~
Jinngerbread Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 5/2 10:11am Subject: RE: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Updated 4/27~~
	Qui-Gina-Jinn Well that was the challenge To have an OC suffer an agonizing defeat I figured this fit the bill pretty well I'm glad you thought it was well written, I actually plan to do an expanded version after the challenge is over. Thanks so much for reading! Jedi-Gon Yes, unfortunately Ren is dead and stays that way, leaving Drex with a bucket load of guilt for the rest of his life. Lone isn't humane or very nice person in general and if it makes you feel better, Drex shares your opinion of him. I'm glad you thought it was powerful I did try, I was in a bit of a hurry though, so not able to really expand on things like I would like, like Drex/Ren's relationship. Sadly, it's not a trick ending, this really is a key event in Drex's life. Thanks for reading! Jedi_Perigrine Unfortunately it's not. Sorry! This really is the full ending But there is happiness after, Drex does manage to eventually move on in my epic collaboration, The Triad Chronicles, Drex is one of the main characters. Here is a link to The Triad Chronicles and the rest of Drex's story. Thanks for reading! VaderLVR Well there's only going to be one more post, but I'll be happy to PM you when it's up Correllian_Ale I actually did one other OC challenge before this one right after you left I'm participating more, and lurking less too! Now read that as if you had no idea what was going on.... You know I actually didn't even think of that at the time? That really is quite ironic that Ren is the one who said it. Carth sounds like a Jedi you wouldn't want to cross... Nope, when he's in mission mode he's really quite dangerously scary to come across and even more when you've done something to one of his. He's not a very conforming Jedi, that much is for sure. As far as Lone, nope, not related to the Solos at all Just an alias of a name Thank goodness I'm reading it all in one sitting, 'cause I couldn't wait for the update to see who Drex ropes in for help. There wasn't supposed to be help Yes, there's definitely an epilogue, and if you're curious about Drex's future endeavors, you can find him in The Triad Chronicles , where he's one of the main characters Thanks for reading! BigE Didn’t know you had it in ya. You just don't know me well, that's all If it's any consolation to you though, this was really hard to write. The suspense when Drex was on his way to try to save Ren was tremendous. The torture - geez you just wanted to reach out and strangle that Lone character yourself; make sure he got his comeuppance. Well I'm glad I succeeded in making you want to strangle him That meant I made the challenge requirements I would apologize for it being so depressing to read, but it was supposed to be that way, so I won't Thanks for reading though -----signature----- Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?5 I Really Need A New Job http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28912460/p1/?1 Gate Crashin' http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28492848/p1/?21
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Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 5/3 8:31pm Subject: RE: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Updated 4/27~~
	Whoa. I read this all in one sitting just now, and with each paragraph I read I was more and more convinced that it just had to be a big set-up...it just had to be... right? But now I know it wasn't. You did a great job with the emotions in this story--desperation, guilt, and so on, and with Drex's struggle to remain strong in the midst of it all. Very sad story, and excellent job with it. -Thumper -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel The Way--Imperial pilot OCs, OT: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28104637 OC X-wing fics: http://www.coronasquadron.com/corona.html
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Jinngerbread Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 5/6 3:38pm Subject: RE: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Updated 4/27~~ - Date Edited: 5/6 3:45pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Jinngerbread
	Thumper09 I do wish it could have been, for poor Ren's sake, but alas, that was part of the challenge wasn't it? I'm glad you think I did a good job Drex is trying hard, he really is. You do have to give him credit for that. Thanks so much for reading! Epilogue Four Days Later He stood over the platform, surveying the objects that were on it. Ren's head, most of his belongings, a few pieces of artwork the boy had drawn, some trinkets, and mementos Drex had given him over the years, The rest had been stored in a trunk in Drex's bedroom. He hadn't been able to do it himself. He couldn't bear going through Ren's things determining what to keep and what to not. Zephir's apprentice, Ildri had done most of the work. She and Ren had been good friends. Drex had started out helping her, but he had left after barely beginning, to work out. The wounds were too raw, too fresh for such a chore. The guilt had nearly overwhelmed him, and rather than break down, he had left. She had done a good job; he reflected fingers touching them gently. He'd have to thank her when this was over. Except it would never be over. Ren was dead and there was nothing that could bring him back. In moments they would have the funeral giving his boy the honor he deserved. Yet Ren deserved far more than this simple ceremony. Far more indeed. He had come to give his boy a far greater honor than a funeral rite. His child had died a Knight's death, and he was determined to see that he be honored as such. He had been so brave. So accepting of everything, even through the cruelty, much more than he himself had been. And he had found peace in death, even through the pain and torment. A true Jedi Knight, embracing the Force. The title of Knight was the one final gift that he could give him. He fingered the braid lovingly, touching the beads and bands that he had put on himself. Drex remembered when his apprentice had earned each and every one. His hands trembled as he took the ceremonial box from his tunic pocket and opened it, reverently lifting the blade. He took a deep breath, drawing upon the Force to ease his trembling. He had a job to do. "This bond was formed in trust and friendship," he said, going through the ceremony he had always wanted for the boy. "And grew into so much more," he said trying to keep his voice even. "You have honored your training in a far greater way than any test that I could have ever devised for your trial. In becoming one with the Force, you have accepted a path to become part of something greater and it is my honor and privilege to give you the rank of Jedi Knight." He took hold of the braid, his hands shaking more as he did so. This was the final act of love and honor he could give his boy. Ren deserved this honor and so much more. But this was all he could give. He sliced through the braid with one stroke. "Knight Drayfdd," his voice was beginning to crack. "We will honor your sacrifice." He stepped back from the dais, dropping the ceremonial blade and it clattered to the floor away from him, but he didn't stoop to pick it up. Drex stood there a long time, merely looking at the sight of his child's head where the braid should be; desperately wishing he could congratulate the former apprentice on his knighthood. But there were no words. He picked up the braid and carefully tucked it into his tunic before retrieving the blade that had fallen. The Master tenderly brushed the strands of hair away from the face, and touched the cold skin, cradling the boy's cheek how he had used to do, one last time. As he pulled away, he saw a small crowd had gathered for the funeral; the Jedi Council, some of Ren's friends, and his own few close ones. Taking a deep breath, he took a torch in hand and lit it. It was now time. Finis -----signature----- Into Another Day http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27926050/p1/?5 I Really Need A New Job http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28912460/p1/?1 Gate Crashin' http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28492848/p1/?21
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager Digging out from Fay Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 5/7 4:35am Subject: RE: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Completed 5/6~~
	Tragic, heartbreaking...powerful. He had a job to do. "This bond was formed in trust and friendship," he said, going through the ceremony he had always wanted for the boy. "And grew into so much more," he said trying to keep his voice even. "You have honored your training in a far greater way than any test that I could have ever devised for your trial. In becoming one with the Force, you have accepted a path to become part of something greater and it is my honor and privilege to give you the rank of Jedi Knight." He took hold of the braid, his hands shaking more as he did so. This was the final act of love and honor he could give his boy. Ren deserved this honor and so much more. But this was all he could give. He sliced through the braid with one stroke. "Knight Drayfdd," his voice was beginning to crack. "We will honor your sacrifice." Incredibly well done! I think this may be your best piece yet. Excuse me, I'm going to go get myself together now. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. They call me NANA Vader. At least she doesn't lack confidence...
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Thumper09 Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 5/9 7:33pm Subject: RE: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Completed 5/6~~
	This was a very moving ending to a very moving story. Well done. It was so sad watching Drex going through the Knighting ceremony, but it really helped to underscore how important of a ceremony it was to the Order and how highly he thought of Ren. I hope that knighting Ren helped Drex with his grieving at least a little. Great job! -Thumper -----signature----- "Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method." -Karen Eiffel The Way--Imperial pilot OCs, OT: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28104637 OC X-wing fics: http://www.coronasquadron.com/corona.html
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Commander-DWH Registered: Nov '03	Date Posted: 5/10 1:17pm Subject: RE: Just Before Dawn (OC's, Action/Drama) OC Challenge Response, Short Story ~~Completed 5/6~~
	sneaks in at the back of the story This was a really well-written story. The ending in particular was very moving- I especially liked his determination to complete the Knighting ceremony. It says a lot about him and his relationship with Ren. I can't wait to see the expanded version, even though I might have to stock up on kleenex beforehand. -----signature----- Complements (KOTOR)- http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/21177927/ Luminosity- http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/27900517/ Barefoot hippie in the OC revolution Master of the lovely and talented SoA
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