| Author |
Topic:
Interview with a Bounty Hunter (WW F Challenge;humor;pop. bounty hunter in disguise) Author responds
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Alexis_Wingstar
Registered:
Sep '06
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Date Posted:
6/2 4:35pm
Subject:
Interview with a Bounty Hunter (WW F Challenge;humor;pop. bounty hunter in disguise) Author responds
- Date Edited:
6/23 6:22am (3 edits total)
Edited By:
Alexis_Wingstar
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Title: [b] Interview With a Bounty Hunter
[b]Characters/Pairings: A certain Mandalorian, OC’s
Era: Before
Summary: [b]When the head hunting business is slow, what’s a bounty hunter to do?
[b]Note: This was my response to the first challenge in round one of the “Writer With the Force Challenge”.
“Joang Teft,” the receptionist announced the next candidate to be interviewed for the job. The normally indifferent Twi’lek smiled appreciatively as the rugged, dark-haired man passed by her desk. Hmm… nice coming and going.
The muscular applicant perceived her noticing him, but paid no mind to the secretary as he entered the office of the head of beings resources. He stood at attention until the bespectacled Balosar introduced himself as Bob Hanget and indicated he should take a seat. Even then, he sat straight-backed and alert.
“Mr. Teft,” the Balosar spoke in a nasal tone, “I see here you have had a varied career.”
The human remained silent, as no question had been put forth to him.
Looking up at his interviewee, Mr. Hanget raised an eyebrow. “Could you explain to me what exactly you did in some of these jobs?”
“I could.”
The Balosar blinked at Mr. Teft, wondering if the human was trying to be funny. However, the look upon his face was so enigmatic that it would put a professional sabacc player to shame. Clearing his throat, he turned back to peruse list of jobs on the man’s resume. “Okaaay… what is a ‘brilliandeer-lopper’?”
“A person who chops off the heads and limbs off dead brilliandeers before they are skinned and readied for canning.”
“Oh… brilliandeers are some kind of animal then?”
“Yes, they are the chief source of meat on Tandabar IV.”
“You were a ‘dolly pusher’… what did that entail?”
“I sold dolls door to door.”
“Okay, what did you do as a ‘fur blower’?”
Without hesitation, and with a deadpan delivery, the human explained that he dried the fur of shampooed animals to get them ready for grooming. He was not about to tell the Balosar that the job actually required him to please some hirsute beings in the Mytaranor sector.
“A ‘lingo cleaner’?”
“I reprogrammed droids for the duties they needed to perform.”
“Could you clarify that, please?”
“Their programming was faulty, so I had to correct the encoding language.”
“Ah, I see. What in the galaxy is a ‘roving sizer’?”
“Someone who sizes footwear.”
“What did you do as a ‘smash hand’?”
“I smashed nuts by hand. I had to wear gloves so as not to contaminate the food with natural body oils.”
“Okay, this last one… ‘targeteer’.”
“I operated remote targets to assess the ability of soldiers’ marksmanship.”
“So, what qualities do you have that would make you qualified to be a ‘whizzer’?”
“I pay attention to detail and accuracy.”
After a few more questions and short answers, the Balosar fold his hands on the desk in front of him. “Okay, Mr. Teft, it’s been enlightening. We’ll contact you soon after we’ve had a chance to verify your credentials and interview the rest of the applicants.” Mr. Hanget rose and offered his hand.
The man firmly took the Balosar’s hand before taking his leave. “Nice meeting you, sir.”
-----signature-----
"Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes."
~Koria
"Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi
Padawan to DarthIshtar
Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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Bastet
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
6/2 8:33pm
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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That was funny! 
Joang Teft, huh?  Gee, I wonder who that is... 
The normally indifferent Twi’lek smiled appreciatively as the rugged, dark-haired man passed by her desk. Hmm… nice coming and going. That's one way to put it!
I loved his resume, a 'varied career' indeed! I especially loved this one:
“You were a ‘dolly pusher’… what did that entail?”
“I sold dolls door to door.”  I wonder how long that one lasted!
I wonder what a 'whizzer' is, that's the job he's applying for now?
Is there going to be more of this, Alexis? I hope so, I must know if Joang gets the job or not! 
-----signature-----
"Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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earlybird-obi-wan
Registered:
Aug '06
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Date Posted:
6/2 8:43pm
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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so that's a lot of jobs for that Joang Teft to have. I wonder who he is Could be anyone.
-----signature-----
writer and Star Wars fan
FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link]
stories in my bio
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VaderLVR64
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
6/2 8:49pm
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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The normally indifferent Twi’lek smiled appreciatively as the rugged, dark-haired man passed by her desk. Hmm… nice coming and going.
Loved it! 
-----signature-----
If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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ZaraValinor
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
6/2 10:20pm
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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This is great! I loved seeing how many different jobs, Joang had. I, as I'm sure everyone else, enjoyed the picture of him pushing dollies door to door. Did he wear his helmet, I wonder? :P
-----signature-----
Proud Master to Meredith_Kenobi & Lolly_Tolly
"He full-on Obi-Wan'd me!"
Dean Winchester - Supernatural
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hitokiri-black
Registered:
Aug '05
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Date Posted:
6/22 2:10pm
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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Very funny. It's hard to find anything on our favorite Mandalorian and I really enjoyed it.
I particularly liked the 'smash hand'. It would be interesting to watch him do that for hours on end.
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Alexis_Wingstar
Registered:
Sep '06
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Date Posted:
6/23 6:17am
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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Bastet posted:
That was funny!
Joang Teft, huh? Gee, I wonder who that is...
The normally indifferent Twi’lek smiled appreciatively as the rugged, dark-haired man passed by her desk. Hmm… nice coming and going. That's one way to put it!
I loved his resume, a 'varied career' indeed! I especially loved this one:
“You were a ‘dolly pusher’… what did that entail?”
“I sold dolls door to door.” I wonder how long that one lasted!
I wonder what a 'whizzer' is, that's the job he's applying for now?
Is there going to be more of this, Alexis? I hope so, I must know if Joang gets the job or not!
I would think Jango... er, um, Joang *clears throat* would perhaps last a half a day selling dolls door to door... especially since they were the kind to cry "mommy", every time they moved.
The description of whizzer may just violate TOS. 
I didn't think of anything past this. It was intended to be a humorous one-shot in response to the challenge.
earlybird-obi-wan posted:
so that's a lot of jobs for that Joang Teft to have. I wonder who he is Could be anyone.
And here I thought I left enough clues! I must not be as good a writer as I thought.
VaderLVR64 posted:
The normally indifferent Twi’lek smiled appreciatively as the rugged, dark-haired man passed by her desk. Hmm… nice coming and going.
Loved it!
Me too
ZaraValinor posted:
This is great! I loved seeing how many different jobs, Joang had. I, as I'm sure everyone else, enjoyed the picture of him pushing dollies door to door. Did he wear his helmet, I wonder? :P
That would have given his identity away. Joang is his cover for when he isn't on a bounty.
hitokiri-black posted:
Very funny. It's hard to find anything on our favorite Mandalorian and I really enjoyed it.
I particularly liked the 'smash hand'. It would be interesting to watch him do that for hours on end.
Yes, I imagine it would be theraputic, smashing things and getting paid for it. I could imagine him getting into a rythm for it and doing a little dance. 
Thank you for your responses.
-----signature-----
"Change. It can be good. It can be bad. It can be expected or come as a thief in the night. Invited or not, it always comes."
~Koria
"Tender Shadows", co-written w/ The Musical Jedi
Padawan to DarthIshtar
Failed member of CA (Challengeholics Anonymous)
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Darth Muis
Registered:
Mar '00
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Date Posted:
6/23 6:23am
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (Re:WW F Challenge; humor w/ a popular bounty hunter in disguise)
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Funny stuff Alexis! I suppose even the best Bounty Hunter has bills to pay and needs to have a job on the side when business is slow... Very original idea and well excecuted!
-----signature-----
Talon Intelligence Squadron: Book Three! http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28952461 Tales from the Intelligence Gala! (TIS spin-off!) http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28600431 "Once a Talon, always a Talon."
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Jedi_Perigrine
Registered:
Apr '08
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Date Posted:
6/23 10:42am
Subject:
RE: Interview with a Bounty Hunter (WW F Challenge;humor;pop. bounty hunter in disguise) Author resp
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I completely agree with everybody else. What a great response to the challenge! I just had to cross my legs on the description of Smash Hand. I mean, what other response COULD a male have? Awesome stuff, Alexis!
Seems like there's never a shortage of people who have bounties on their heads, so I'm sure any other...optional employment positions were highly temporary.
Nice work!
-----signature-----
TIS Rules. Check out: Soon to be continued: Choices-- http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28767048/p1 A Jedi must make a difficult choice when he runs into an old crush Odd Happenings: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=29123443&
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