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Topic:
The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15, Now Complete!
p_stotts
Registered:
Jan '01
Date Posted:
6/7 9:33am
Subject:
The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15, Now Complete!
-
Date Edited:
7/19 6:01am
(15 edits total)
Edited By:
p_stotts
Title: The Portal
Author: p_stotts
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Mace Windu
Genre: JA, Drama, Angst, H/C
Setting: Ten years pre-TPM, Obi-Wan is 15
Summary: Obi-Wan is captured by witch hunters and condemned to death while on a mission with Qui-Gon.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them; I just play with them.
Chapter 1 – ‘Between a Rock and a Hard Place’
“Your body and mind are corrupted. Confess your sins and redeem your immortal soul before Iaomai.”
A guard stood on either side of Obi-Wan, each holding an arm. Both their grip and the feel of the bindings around his wrists burned his skin. He clenched his jaw and stared at the Inquisitor, a skinny, hook-nosed old man with a chicken neck. **Master…** White-hot pain roared down the training bond, nearly making him pass out.
Force, what have they done to me?
Two strong-backed lads stood to the side, huddled in their brown woolen coats, the only other witnesses to the proceedings. Beside them on the ground lay four long-handled iron hooks.
A shrill wind blew in from the ocean, raking shards of ice across Obi-Wan’s bared torso. This time, he couldn’t help the whimper of pain that escaped his control.
The stunted trees that grew upon the rocky escarpment groaned as old men complaining of frigid bones. Their naked branches reached up toward the gray winter sky like the tines of warped tridents. A raven squawked from one of the dead limbs and flew off to the north where the craggy peaks of the Leander Mountains loomed, cloaked in their mantles of white.
“Confess your own sins,” Obi-Wan said.
The guards released his arms and one brought his lash down upon Obi-Wan’s back. Fiery pain clawed across his skin. He screamed and stumbled forward a step. A sharp stone dug into the sole of his bare foot, cutting through the numbness the frigid ground had wrought. His leg buckled, and he fell to one knee.
The guards hauled him back to his feet. “You shall keep a civil tongue in your head, or you shall enter the Portal mute as well as condemned.”
The Inquisitor waved the two young men forward. One uncorked a clay jar and handed it to him.
The guards held Obi-Wan still while the Inquisitor smeared a sweet-smelling, gelatinous ointment onto his chest and back. He whimpered and panted against the pain caused by the touch.
The Inquisitor’s lips quirked in a parody of a smile. “To make your flesh more palatable for the demons to feast upon.” He backed away. “Open the Portal.”
The two young men stood opposite one another and slipped their iron hooks into four metal rings bolted at even intervals around the edges of a flat, circular stone as thick as a Wookie’s arm and as big around as one of the pods in the Senate assembly chamber.
Obi-Wan read the runes carved into the stone’s surface.
Prepare ye for Iaomai’s judgment and Shamar’s eternal torment.
The lads widened their stances and one shouted, “Heave!” Slowly and steadily, they dragged the stone from the mouth of a pit twice the width of Qui-Gon’s broad shoulders. Their grunts and the strained looks upon their faces attested to the weight of their burden.
The guards dragged Obi-Wan to the lip of the opening. His breath hitched in his chest. Until this moment, he truly believed his master would find him in time. After all, a day and a night had passed since his abduction from the governor’s manse. Yet, here he stood.
“Jedi,” the Inquisitor spat, as if the word burned his mouth, “you have been convicted of the sin of witchcraft by Iaomai and by these witnesses. By the sacred laws, you are committed to Shamar’s punishment, where your soul and your body shall suffer torment until your iniquities are cleansed.”
Obi-Wan refused to allow these men to see how helpless he felt. “Then my time will be short, for I am innocent.”
“Iaomai’s judgment says otherwise.”
“Your ignorance and fear will be your undoing,” Obi-Wan shot back. “The Force will save me.” Even as he spoke the words, calm wove through his mind. He inwardly cringed, expecting pain, but none came. Maybe the drug is wearing off. **Mas…** Sharp pain cut through his mind like a vibro-shiv. Darkness crept around the edges of his vision; bile churned in his gut. “Merciless gods,” he groaned.
“I grant you one last chance,” the Inquisitor said. “Confess your sins.”
Obi-Wan blinked his vision back into focus and locked gazes with the Inquisitor, determined not to show the fear scrambling for a foothold inside him. He knew the offer was bogus. If he confessed, they’d just kill him outright instead of throwing him into the pit. “My confessions are for the Force alone.” He drew in a deep breath and looked around him one last time. His thoughts drifted to the disagreement he’d had with Qui-Gon the evening before his abduction.
Oh Force! What if Master thinks I ran away and betrayed him again?
The look of hurt and disappointment on Qui-Gon’s face two years before on Melida/Daan flashed through his mind. Desperation made him cry out along their bond. **Master! Help!** He screamed out loud at the intensity of the resulting pain. His knees buckled, and he sagged in his captor’s arms.
Please, Master. Find me before it’s too late.
A tear escaped his control and trickled down his cheek. He drew in a deep breath, straightened, and focused on the Inquisitor. “Mark my words well, I will return, and when I do, you’ll pay for your crimes… not only against me, but against every innocent you’ve ever tossed into this pit.”
“Your lies compound your sins.” The Inquisitor nodded to the guards, who shoved Obi-Wan over the lip of the opening. He plummeted into the darkness and hit a ledge. The sharp crack of bone echoed in his ears followed a heartbeat later by white-hot pain in his shin.
He tumbled off the ledge, but his wrist bindings caught on a jagged point of rock. The sudden halt nearly jerked his arms from their sockets. His body swayed to and fro like a bell on a string, sending shards of pain through his leg. He looked down and saw white bone jutting through the skin.
The scrape of rock against rock drew Obi-Wan’s gaze upward toward the mouth of the pit, not as far away as he’d thought. His heart seized in his chest as the bright opening disappeared from his sight like the waning moon, until darkness engulfed him completely.
The sounds of his heaving breaths reverberated in the air around him, and he could no more see the wall, a mere hand’s breadth from his eyes, than could a blind man.
Despair threatened to overwhelm him once more, but he fought it back by concentrating on his other senses.
He tried pulling himself back up onto the ledge, but the wall slanted away from him, and he could find no purchase for his foot. The jagged rock upon which he hung gave a fraction and then another. “Oh, that can’t be good.” The bindings about his wrists slipped off the edge, and he fell again. Not two heartbeats more passed before the tunnel curved to the side at a steep incline.
Obi-Wan slammed into the wall and tumbled headfirst, striking his head upon a rock. Darkness rose up and engulfed him. He didn’t resist.
TBC
-----signature-----
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for your life.
Proud master to Gkilkenny!
Stories in my bio.
9/19/2008 is National Talk Like A Pirate day in the U.S. Everyone else join in too! Arr! Avast ye landlubbers!
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earlybird-obi-wan
Registered:
Aug '06
Date Posted:
6/7 9:53am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Oh nooh where is Obi-Wan headed and will Qui-Gon rescue him in time?
Beginning with a cliffie.
-----signature-----
writer and Star Wars fan
FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link]
stories in my bio
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Sabriel_Orion
Registered:
Mar '08
Date Posted:
6/7 10:03am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Eeek. Where the heck is Qui-Gon?!?!
Great start on the fanfic. Add me to the pm list for this one please. And thanks for letting me know about it.
-----signature-----
"Does the Walker choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?" from Sabriel, by Garth Nix
Sabriel:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v409/sabriel_orion/PadawanSabrielOrionColored.png
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Valairy_Scot
Title:
PT Rewrite Winner
Registered:
Sep '05
Date Posted:
6/7 10:33am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
OH, that is
.
I love the intimitation that the "bad guys" are doing something that is "not evil" in their world view (I might be wrong on that). The ceremonial language and all implies - whether the motive is "pure" or a "cover up" for something else that Obi-Wan is considered a real threat.
That being said, poor Obi. He hasn't mastered the There is no Death, There is only the Force yet - he's not ready to accept death.
Thank the Force for that.
Now Qui, get to your padawan. I want to see some h/c.
-----signature-----
http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/p3/?52
Prolific Author thread: list & links there.
Muse fueled by coffee. Often AWOL despite frequent sipping.
Writes on inspiration, not a schedule.
Proud master of several padawans
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Bastet
Registered:
Dec '99
Date Posted:
6/7 12:54pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
An evil cliffie already!
I loved the descriptions at the beginning, you've painted a very bleak picture of this place they're at!
But now I just have to say: poor Obi-Wan!
I hope Qui-Gon finds him soon!
I would love PM's for this one too, of course!
-----signature-----
"Oh yeah. Ooh, aah. That's how it always starts. But then later there's running, then...screaming." --Dr. Ian Malcolm
"Okay fine. Go ahead and scream. Then when that tricycloplots attacks you, don't come crying to me." --Paul Kirby
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dimyavie
Registered:
May '06
Date Posted:
6/7 2:18pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
You have me hooked already! I can't wait to read about how Qui is handling all this. Please update soon. Thanks
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Obi-Odd13
Registered:
Feb '08
Date Posted:
6/7 3:25pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Oh poor Obi!
What exactly is in this pit? It's obviously pretty far down, but what's at the end/bottom?
I'm just a little scared for Obi. Although I know he's pretty strong, and can defend himself.
Although...he now has a badly broken leg, his hands cuffed together, and apparently the inability to access the Force with out extreme debilitating pain.
So the odds are against him. Well, that's never stopped him before has it?
But could you add me to the PM list? I know he'll get outta this evetually, but I still wanna see what happens. ANd how Mace factors into this whole thing.
-----signature-----
When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, and then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
“We are one, after all, you and I, together we suffer, together exist
and forever will recreate each other.” ~Teilhard de Chardin
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Quigonjecca
Registered:
Jul '07
Date Posted:
6/7 4:42pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Starting with a cliffhanger eh? Ah well, it promises to be a good story!
Thanks for the PM!
Anyway, this is a really great start, and I can't wait to see where you go with it. Poor Obi-Wan! I wonder what's in the pit? Rancor? Something... else? *gulps*
If you have a PM list, please put me on it. Either way though, I'll be following this story!
-----signature-----
Voted Best New Author in the 2008 Saga Awards!
"Dark Child"
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27658856/p1/?14
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ZaraValinor
Registered:
May '02
Date Posted:
6/8 11:55am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Ah, interesting. Very good start.
-----signature-----
Proud Master to Meredith_Kenobi & Lolly_Tolly
"He full-on Obi-Wan'd me!"
Dean Winchester - Supernatural
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ClaudiaR
Registered:
Jun '07
Date Posted:
6/8 6:16pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Qui-gon should have a long range tracking device installed in the kid with the amount of times he gets kidnapped!
I am looking forward to learning what happens
-----signature-----
LURK&STALK
It takes a specialist to do it right
" Getting to stalk around importantly was quickly becoming the best part of pretending to be a Sith. "
Obi-Wan in Deptions by Amrita_Glittersong
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ardavenport
Registered:
Dec '04
Date Posted:
6/8 7:11pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
I agree. A tracking device would save them so much trouble! Especially when they run into fanatics. They do have the Force; I suppose that is their 'tracking device'. But Obi-Wan has hit his head, so now anything can happen -- outside or inside his head.
-----signature-----
Links to all fics --
http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25405090&brd=10304&start=26223917
The Heart of the Jedi --
http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/26013327
---- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, JA and everything you wanted to know about lightsabers
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PadawanKitara
Registered:
Dec '01
Date Posted:
6/8 7:52pm
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
-
Date Edited:
6/8 7:52pm
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
PadawanKitara
I like the tracking device idea- "chip" him just like my little Chewie (yes I named my puppy Chewbacca)
Having recently read
aradavenport's
Shower viggie,I hope Obi doesn't wake up to find all that happens later is nothing more than a dream
-----signature-----
Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi
We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
UCLA BRUINS
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
6/9 12:16am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Took me a bit of time to get this computer to work it isn't mine and I am away for the long weekend.
Gone to Newcastle to visit my niece.
Ah finally got it to work.
An evil cliffie I just love it.
why oh why does everything always happen to Obi-Wan.
I know because we love to see him get hurt and we love making him
better with a bit of mush
Another wonderful story to read.
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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p_stotts
Registered:
Jan '01
Date Posted:
6/10 5:19am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15
Thanks for all the great feedback. Welcome new readers! Glad to have you along. Chp 2 will answer some of your questions, but will probably raise many more.
This next part is short, but it was a good stopping place. Enjoy!
Chapter 2 – Where In The World is Obi-Wan?
“I have no intention of leaving this planet without my padawan.” Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his broad chest and glowered down at the much shorter and more slender Goveror Selmet.
Selmet ran a hand through his shoulder-length gray hair. “Please, Master Jinn. The records at the space port indicate Padawan Kenobi left the planet two nights ago on a transport bound for Corsuscant.”
“And I tell you Obi-Wan is still on this planet.”
“I am not discounting your word, but if that is so then someone went to a lot of trouble to lay a false trail. I am not suggesting you actually leave the planet, but merely appear to leave the planet. Whoever kidnapped your apprentice might then relax his, or her, guard… enough that they might make a mistake that will at the very least give us a clue to Padawan Kenobi’s location.”
Mace Windu stepped up next to his friend and laid a hand on his shoulder. “It’s worth a try, Qui. We can take off from the space port then orbit the planet and land elsewhere.”
Qui-Gon shook his head. “I fail to see what good that will do. The officials at the space port would notice our deviation and track our movements.”
“Leave that to me, Master Jinn.” He turned to a map of the planet hanging on the wall of his office. “I will have a team of investigators rendezvous with you at these coordinates.” He pointed to a location in the foothills, several clicks from the capital city. “Not all my informants have checked in yet. Let us wait to hear what they find before we investigate further. I will, of course, com you the moment I hear of anything resembling a lead.”
**Master! Help**
White hot pain bombarded the training bond from Obi-Wan’s end, then went silent. Qui-Gon gasped and fell to his knees, grasping his head.
Hands gripped his shoulders. “Qui! What’s wrong?”
He took a moment to recover from the contact with his padawan before he looked up at his friend and Governor Selmet. “Obi-Wan. I felt him for just a moment.” He swallowed heavily. “Mace, he’s in horrible pain. We have to find him!”
Mace knelt down beside him. “Could you tell where he was?”
Qui-Gon thought back over the brief image he’d gotten from Obi-Wan. “The contact lasted only a moment, but I sensed a feeling of desolation from the place. There was also a large stone with runes on it.”
“Runes would indicate an ancient place,” Selmet said. “However, there are many such places on the planet. Could you tell what the runes said? That might help.”
“Let me think a moment.” With Mace’s help, Qui-Gon climbed to his feet. “I only received a glimpse of the first part. I believe it said, ‘Prepare ye for Iaomai.’ Does that mean anything to you, Governor?”
Selmet blanched white and slowly shook his head. “No. Oh, Master Jinn, I’m so sorry. I had no idea that sect was still active. We’ve heard nothing of them in years.”
Fear for Obi-Wan made Qui-Gon grasp Selmet’s shoulder. “Explain.”
***
Obi-Wan woke to a pounding skull and throbbing pain in his leg. He rubbed the top of his head, but jerked his hand back when the pain increased. His fingers came away wet. The coppery smell told him it was blood. Keeping his body still, he glanced around to try and determine where he was, but couldn’t see a thing. I hope that’s not because I’m blind. Concentrating on his other senses, he gathered clues to his whereabouts. The ground where he laid felt icy cold; stones dug into his back. The air felt moist and smelled of rotting fish. From the sound of lapping water and the reverberations of that sound, he concluded he must be near an underground lake of some kind.
A splash in the water, like a plopping fish, echoed around the cavern. He suddenly noticed glowing spots on the rock walls. Some type of phosphorous lichen. The movement of the water reflected off the cave roof, highlighting the stalactites hanging from the ceiling. Water dripped onto his face. He glanced toward the lake and his breath froze in his chest as the source of the sudden light became apparent.
The head of some type of water serpent rested at the water’s edge, nearly twice the size of his body and covered in pure white scales. Two long fangs hung from the upper jaw of its elongated snout, gouging the dirt. Its opalescent eyes glowed with a kaleidoscope of colors as it watched him.
The head slithered closer, revealing a long, sleek neck. Muscular arms, which ended in claws as big as its fangs, and a set of massive shoulders followed the neck from the water.
When the head came within an arms length of him, the serpent pushed itself up on its front legs, and a pair of translucent wings spread out from its back, nearly the width of the cavern from wingtip to wingtip. The neck bowed so the creature could evidently observe him from a different angle. A long, forked tongue flicked the air. The head dipped nearer.
Obi-Wan had never felt so helpless in his life. He whimpered and clenched his eyes shut. “Merciful Force, protect me.”
TBC
***Sorry. I couldn't resist leaving you with a cliffhanger.
-----signature-----
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for your life.
Proud master to Gkilkenny!
Stories in my bio.
9/19/2008 is National Talk Like A Pirate day in the U.S. Everyone else join in too! Arr! Avast ye landlubbers!
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Gkilkenny
Registered:
Mar '04
Date Posted:
6/10 6:30am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15, chp 2 posted 6/10
Obi-Wan had never felt so helpless in his life. He whimpered and clenched his eyes shut. “Merciful Force, protect me.”
You are an evil woman, 'Merciful Force' save us from this evil author
I am sure you could not resist leaving us and poor Obi-Wan dangling
in front of fangs!
Some one better write Obi-Wan out of this predicament, and
fast before fang gets him.
wonderful update
anxiously waiting for more.
-----signature-----
Padawan to p_stotts
Peace over anger - honour over hate - Strength over fear.
Links to Stories in my Bio. Obi-Wan forever.
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earlybird-obi-wan
Registered:
Aug '06
Date Posted:
6/10 8:01am
Subject:
RE: The Portal - Obi/Qui/Mace; JA, drama, angst, h/c; Obi is 15, chp 2 posted 6/10
poor Obi
And again an evil cliffie
Waiting to see more.
-----signature-----
writer and Star Wars fan
FANART [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25793899]fanart[/link]
stories in my bio
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