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Author	Topic: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
Jedi_Jaina_Durron Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 3/29/03 1:43pm Subject: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!) - Date Edited: 3/29/03 4:03pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Jedi_Jaina_Durron
	Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette Here we are, another viggie. Does this really surprise anyone? I think I’m beginning to rival even Dana for the most Kyp and Jaina stuff. I haven’t put two or three in my bio, I need to do that. Anyways, enough of my rambling. I don’t like this one as much as Cross My Heart, but it came to me, so I thought I might as well post. As usual, I don’t own anything, just the premise. Don’t sue! * * * Since the age of sixteen, Kyp Durron had lived in the thick of every battle and skirmish in defense of freedom and justice in the galaxy—just not always on the same side. Nearly every event of galactic importance in the past eighteen years had is mark on it somewhere, if only in the background. But when it came to the one thing in the galaxy that really mattered to him, Kyp seemed to be watching from the sidelines. As he was now. There was only one being in the galaxy that he really, truly loved, and she loved another. It seemed to him that every night he prayed that Jagged Fel would break her heart. Then, at least, he would know what to do. Then he could hold her in his arms, if only to comfort her. But it would never, ever happen. There was no man in the galaxy fool enough to give up Jaina Solo. She was the epitome of perfection in absolutely every way. And her beauty had almost nothing to do with it, though she was as beautiful as a sunset, as starlight—more beautiful. But she shone with an inner light that overshadowed her physical loveliness. It spoke to something deep within in, something he hadn’t believed existed, or at least had thought died years ago. the only time he felt alive was when they were joined in their Force-bond. They were the only people in existence, then, dancing and swirling in a deep sea of life; alive and whole. At such times, he could almost forget that she would never belong to him, that she was another’s. Almost. * * * He stood watching them, hating himself even as he did. Why couldn’t he force himself to turn away? Was he such a sadist that he enjoyed inflicting pain upon himself? That couldn’t be it; he’d known more pain in his life than any person should have to deal with in a thousand lifetimes. And yet here was one more thing the Force had cursed him with: to watch his beloved in the arms of another. His arms ached to hold her and he cursed himself. He knew why this was happening. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain in his head. He was paying for all of his sins; all the pain he had caused others was now being heaped upon his head. he didn’t deserve even a brief moment of happiness after all that he had done. It was far too much for him to ask. As Jaina and Jag let up for a brief moment from their passionate kissing, her eyes flickered towards him and their gazes locked. So often lately, as now, when she looked at him she seemed to be silently begging, pleading with him. To do what, he had no idea, but it was too much for him. He turned away quickly. He could never tell her. He knew that love would flame in him forever and she’d never, ever know the flame was there. With an inward cry of anguish, he stalked away wearily, and collapsed onto a nearby bench, burying his face in his hands. “You look terrible.” He didn’t need to raise his head to identify the speaker. “What do you want, Jacen?” He felt the younger man seat himself beside him. “I come back and all of a sudden you look old.” “Jacen, what—“ “I want to talk to you,” he said placidly interrupting. Kyp finally looked up. Jacen leaned back and crossed his hands over his stomach. There was something in the younger Jedi’s eyes and written on his face that should not have been present in one so young. “You come back and all of a sudden you look old,” he said. Jacen laughed heartily. “You’re not half bad, you know, Durron? But let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I want to discuss my sister, not our apparent possession of aged facades.” Kyp sighed profoundly. “What about her?” “You love her.” “Is it that obvious?” “Not to her, no. But to everyone else it’s nothing short of blatant. Every time you look at her, you look as if you’re having your heart ripped out.” “I am!” he cried. “How do you think you would feel if you knew you could never have the woman you loved?” Jacen shook his head. “As you do, indeed, but what makes you think you can never have her?” Kyp stared at him, incredulous. “Jacen Solo, are you insane? I’ve heard rumors that you were, but—“ “Just answer the question, Durron,” he chided patiently. It was beginning to annoy him that the kid had more control than he did, but he did as commanded. “In case you haven’t notice—and unless you’re blind as well as insane, I don’t see how you couldn’t have—“ he hurried on at Jacen’s disapproving look, “She’s with Fel now.” “True. But life is uncertain. Any number of things could separate the two of them. What then?” “I still couldn’t have her.” “Why not?” “She doesn’t love me.” “Let’s say that by some freak lose of sanity, she decides she does.” “I still couldn’t.” “Why?” “I’m cursed. I’ll never know love. The Force is repaying me for my past. It’s like that chick Luke was with for a while said, it’s all about balance and I’ve thrown it off.” “Gariel.” “That’s her. And she’s right. And so I don’t deserve love.” Jacen sighed in exasperation. And patiently, as if explaining something to a child too young to understand, said, “No one deserves love. No one. We can’t possibly. That’s what makes it a miracle.” “Yeah, well, I can’t ask for a miracle,” Kyp muttered. “Why on earth not? The whole point of miracles is that we don’t deserve them. If we did, they’d be credit where credit is due and not miracles. I think you should tell her.” Kyp rose abruptly. “Tell her? Now I know you’re insane. She’d hate me! That would be sacrificing what little we have together. Don’t ask me to give up even that.” “You’re killing yourself over her, Durron, and we both know it. You’ll destroy yourself if you don’t confront it. At least if you do, you’ll have a chance, no matter how slim you think it is.” Jacen stood to face him. “She deserves to know. Do it, Durron, or I will. And that will not bode well for you, believe me.” * * * For a year and a half, Kyp hadn’t done as he was told, and every time Jacen Solo looked at him, he sensed that the time was growing near that Jaina’s brother would indeed tell her. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it, not even to relieve the hell-like pain that preyed upon him every moment of every day. Not even at night did he escape it, for he always awoke from the dreams of holding her with his arms outstretched and empty. Jacen was right. He was slowly dying inside. He figured it was the emotional and mental equivalent of death by sarlaac. He still wasn’t sure how he hadn’t gone completely insane. Maybe his one tie to sanity was the fact that he had to be sure she made it through the war alive. But now it was over, and he had nothing left to live for. And since he had nothing left to lose, he might as well take the chance. He had slipped away from the jubilation party celebrating the final battle, knowing she had, too. As he left, he had caught Jacen’s eyes. The younger man, who was now as close to him as a younger brother, knew exactly what he was doing and had given him a nod of approval and encouragement before turning back to Tahiri. Yes, there she was, standing with her back to him, silhouetted against the deep blue-green of the Mon Calamari seascape the window displayed. He stopped several feet behind her, watching and brooding. Without turning, her tone neutral, she spoke the words he had known were coming. “Jag’s leaving to go back to the Unknown Regions in three days. He wants me to go with him.” To be his wife, he thought. He braced himself for the new agony of this announcement, but it didn’t come. He knew that the anguish he had been living with for years had pushed him to a place beyond pain. “I’m not sure what to do.” She revolved slowly to face him, arms crossed over her chest. “You aren’t?” He was truly surprised. “No.” She laughed rather bitterly, Kyp thought. “Funny, isn’t it? You’d think I wouldn’t hesitate for a heartbeat. But the thought of leaving everyone I love: my friends, the Jedi, Mom and Dad, Jacen and Tahiri, you…” She trailed off, shrugging. “You’d have him though. Wouldn’t that be enough?” Her bitterness was now reflected in his voice. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” The pleading look was in her eyes again, but only for a moment, and then she pushed it away. “You want to talk about something, I can tell.” He never ceased to be amazed by how well they could read each other. Over the years their bond had only deepened till it went beyond all reason, till they were almost a part of one another. “I don’t know how to say it.” “Then don’t. Use the Force.” “No, this is something that has to be said out loud.” He started walking slowly towards her. “Jacen told me to tell you. If you get mad, make sure you kill him, too. I want company in the beyond.” She smiled, shaking her head at him. “Sure. Now, shoot.” They weren’t far from each other now, but Jaina didn’t seem the least bit uncomfortable, though Kyp’s own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating as loud as an Ewokian drum on a worship-festival day. “Jaina, you remember when we had that discussion on the roof with Jag?” She blinked. “That was what, two, three years ago?” “Two and a half. But now we need to have that conversation, this time without your fiancé.” “He isn’t my fiancé,” she protested. “At least, not yet,” she added. “Whatever. We decided we were partners. And we are that and will be till the day we die. But…” “What?” He took her hand in his, and she looked surprised, but to his delight didn’t pull away. “There’s more to it than that. Open your mind to me, Jaina.” She did so, trusting, without question. It was so easy and they melded till they were almost a single being. “This is so deep, Jaina. We’re part of each other. How can anything possibly run this deep? How can we be this much a part of each other? This much, and not be meant to be?” She pulled back slightly. “Kyp—“ “Let me finish. I know this in my heart, in my soul, whether you do or not. You are my soul, the only woman I will ever love. I cannot live without you. If you decide to go with him, impale me on your lightsaber before you do, and at least put me out of my misery. I love you, Jaina Solo, and I need you the way I do oxygen.” “Kyp…I don’t know what to say,” she said, staring up at him, her eyes full of an emotion he couldn’t name. He threaded his fingers in hers and drew her to him; and she didn’t pull back. Tenderly, he kissed her forehead, then both cheeks and her now-closed eyes till he was dropping feathery-light kisses all over her face. “I love you,” he whispered between kisses, “I always will.” Jaina’s breath was shuddered and a tear ran down her face, he kissed that, too. “I love you,” he repeated. Then he kissed her full on the mouth with all the passion he’d held dammed up for years. When she pulled back, breathless, he had to force himself to meet her eyes, bracing himself for the disgust and revulsion—or still worse, pity—he would see there. But it wasn’t there. “I’m not going with Jag.” Her eyes were positively glowing with—could that possibly be love? She took his face in her hands. “Force, I’d been wanting you to do that so long, and didn’t even know it. You’re right. It does run too deep for us not to be meant to be. What an idiot I’ve been to deny it.” Before the import of these words could sink in and fill him with undiluted joy, she pulled his head back down and kissed him every bit as fiercely as he had her. And once again he was overcome by wonder that anything could run this deep. * * * He’s kind melodramatic, don’ ya think? -----signature----- “Jacen, never stop asking questions." -Luke "The vaping lines keep moving." - Kyp "Fiction confronts you with the awesome fact that you are not the only real thing in this world." --Zadie Smith
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val solo Registered: Jun '00	Date Posted: 3/29/03 1:52pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette
	Ack!! I love it! Yay, Kyp! And I love the interaction between Kyp and Jacen. Tey need to reconcile in the JNO, don't they? I also loved Jacen's take on miracles...so true, so true. Super job, JJD! -----signature----- Check out my K/J fic--~Absolutely Necessary~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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SpacedOutAnna Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 3/29/03 2:46pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette
	That was SO good. I loved the last bit about how deep it ran......... Another wonderful viggie (But what about SOAR?) Anna -----signature----- Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side and light side and holds the universe together. Check my bio for my fics! (LIGHTNING STRIKES!! A DAY OF RAIN!!! and RIPPLES IN THE FORCE!!!!) Queen's University student. Go Gaels! Chageill!
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duskwings Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 3/29/03 2:46pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette
	Aww . . . that's such a sweet ending. And finally, Kyp can be happy! Yes! All through the story I just kept going, "Poor Kyp. Poor Kyp!" And he's finally HAPPY! YAY! And I agree with val solo--the interaction between Kyp and Jacen is very interesting. Funny, but also interesting. -duskwings -----signature----- Fic: "All Those Who Take the Sword" (one-shot, OCs) http://boards.theforce.net/BfS/b10475/17032943/ [more fics in bio] Participating in the Writer's Race http://boards.theforce.net/FFR/b10304/18538701/
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Jedi_Jaina_Durron Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 3/29/03 3:34pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette
	val- I'm glad you love it! And yes, I agree. I hate that my two favorite SW characters don't get along! I think they have potential. Thank you! Anna- Thank you very much! I know, I know, I have to update that! I hit a rut...but I think I can safely promise you some this week, what do you say to that? duskwings- Thank you! I felt sorry for him while I was writing it! It almost made me cry! Yes, I know that it was a bit weird, but I thought it fun! -----signature----- “Jacen, never stop asking questions." -Luke "The vaping lines keep moving." - Kyp "Fiction confronts you with the awesome fact that you are not the only real thing in this world." --Zadie Smith
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Jedi_Jaina_Durron Registered: Dec '01	Date Posted: 3/29/03 4:01pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette - Date Edited: 3/29/03 4:02pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedi_Jaina_Durron
	Might as well post this here... C’est Moi a.k.a. “Jag’s Song” This song belongs to Lerner and Lowe, the dudes who wrote Camelot (Lancelot sings it). The first time I heard this, I immediately thought of Jag. Hence, I have totally murdered the original version of the song. But I’m not making any money off of it, so don’t sue! Some of the phrases I couldn’t think of GFFA terms for, so if you come up with any, let me know and I’ll edit! For our purposes, French is now Chiss, and if you know French, and find I’ve spelled anything wrong (I’m sure I have), I’ll edit again (I speak Spanish). Red is Jag singing. Jag struts into the room, fresh from Nirauan, ready to join the NR Coruscant! Coruscant! In the Unknown, I heard your call! Coruscant! Coruscant! And here am I to give my all! I know in my soul what you expect of me, and all that and more I will be! A pilot of the N.R. should be invincible! Succeed where a less fantastic man would fail! Fly a course no one else can fly; shoot a ‘skipper in record time; be able to shoot skippers of my tale! No matter the pain, he ought to be unwinceable! Impossible deeds should be his daily fare! But where in the world, is there in the world, a man so extraordinaire? speaks C’est moi! C’est moi, c’est moi, I’m forced to admit. ‘Tis I, I humbly reply. The mortal who these marvels can do, c’est moi, c’est moi, ‘tis I! I’ve never lost in battle or sim, I’m simply the best by far! When ships are crossed, it’s always the same: one shot and aurevoir! C’est moi, c’est moi, so admirably fit; a Chiss Prometheus unbound! And here I stand with power untold…exceptionally brave…amazingly bold…to serve the N.R. Navy! The soul of a pilot should be a thing remarkable! His heart and his mind as pure as morning dew! With a will and a self-restraint that’s the envy of every saint, he could easily work a miracle or two! To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable! The ways of the flesh should offer no allure! But where in the world, is there in the world, a man so untouched and pure? considers with delight C’est moi! C’est moi, c’est moi, I blush to disclose; I’m far too noble to lie! That man in whom these qualities bloom c’est moi, c’est moi, ‘tis I! I’ve never strayed from all I believe, I’m blessed with an iron will! Had I been made the partner of Eve, we’d be in Eden still! C’est moi, c’est moi, the Force has chose to fight its battles below! And here I stand as pure as a prayer…incredibly clean…with virtue to spare! The most perfect man I know! shouts C’est moi! -----signature----- “Jacen, never stop asking questions." -Luke "The vaping lines keep moving." - Kyp "Fiction confronts you with the awesome fact that you are not the only real thing in this world." --Zadie Smith
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Kathryn Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 3/29/03 4:41pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	A very sweet, wonderful vignette! And that song was pretty funny too -----signature----- "What can a King ask of a man like me?" "A better world than has ever been seen. A kingdom of conscience. A kingdom of Heaven."
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SpacedOutAnna Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 3/29/03 4:42pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	I'm happy to hear that! And that commerical......... shakes head, laughing Tres nice. Anna -----signature----- Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side and light side and holds the universe together. Check my bio for my fics! (LIGHTNING STRIKES!! A DAY OF RAIN!!! and RIPPLES IN THE FORCE!!!!) Queen's University student. Go Gaels! Chageill!
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val solo Registered: Jun '00	Date Posted: 3/29/03 5:02pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	Yes, Jag is a bit full of himself, isn't he? (Like Kyp isn't? LOL!) Now, I feel pressured to write a commercial for my fics... -----signature----- Check out my K/J fic--~Absolutely Necessary~ http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/16563367/?0 We are sometimes taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed.
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JainaDurron Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 3/29/03 9:01pm Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	Such a sweet viggie. ~~Jilly -----signature----- Qeryné, Handmaiden of the Crest Beta for Midnight_Jedi and Amidala_Skywalker Proud K/Jer (Rogue and Goddess); Twin Suns Lead- KDFC Winner for Best Romance Beyond the Saga, SFFA K/J is love!!!
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the_jedi_princess Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 3/30/03 3:39am Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	This is simply beautiful. I don't know how I missed it. -----signature----- “Sometimes I wonder, that when I die, will it be my life that is celebrated, or my death?” ~Kyp Durron, Papa Don't Preach ==>Fan Fics in profile<== Dark Lady of the JC
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Crimson_Sabre Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 3/30/03 10:01am Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	There is one key difference between the French and the Chiss - 1 - The Chiss actually HAVE a military worthy of being called armed forces. 2 - The Chiss don't need other planets' help to defend themselves during wartime against Nazi invaders. -----signature----- Go see King Kong... it's the shiz. Team Infidel for life, baby Cocaine is one hell of a drug. - Rick James Cocaine IS one hell of a drug. - Me
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ratherkissawookie Registered: Feb '02	Date Posted: 3/30/03 10:01am Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	Ha! The Jag song was excellent! The viggy was really good too. -----signature----- 24 is my new favorite TV show Currently reading The Phantom of the Opera "You can have whatever opinion you want as long as you back it up with facts and evidence." Have you kissed a Wookiee today?
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C3SoloP0 Registered: Dec '02	Date Posted: 4/1/03 10:19am Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	Wow....that was awesome..... And Jacen actually being on Kyp's side was cool....i hate it when Jace is against Kyp and Jaina...it makes it so much better when he isn't.... Wonderful JJD.....keep them coming!!! -----signature----- Proud member of The Fortress "NEVER THE END!"
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NJs_Cat Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 4/1/03 10:28am Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	I'd say that was definitely purrfect! Don't know why the girl didn't reply to it before, but I bet she was as tired as she is right now. Good thing she is, or else she might be mad that I'm on her computer. NJs_Cat -----signature----- Meow meow meow meow woof.
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JainaDurron Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 9/26/03 6:51am Subject: RE: Running Deep—K/J (lotsa Kyp-angst) vignette (now with commercial!)
	Still a great viggie, up! ~~Jilly -----signature----- Qeryné, Handmaiden of the Crest Beta for Midnight_Jedi and Amidala_Skywalker Proud K/Jer (Rogue and Goddess); Twin Suns Lead- KDFC Winner for Best Romance Beyond the Saga, SFFA K/J is love!!!
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