| Author |
Topic:
Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: AKA Padded Room #305 NEW POSTIE!!! 5/6 ~Dedicated to TKJ~
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 1:26pm
Subject:
Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: AKA Padded Room #305 NEW POSTIE!!! 5/6 ~Dedicated to TKJ~
- Date Edited:
5/6/04 11:29am (16 edits total)
Edited By:
Rogue11JS
|
Ok everyone this is just a new fic Im doing in my spare time to keep my mind of f my other fic so I can come up with new ideas. Weird you say well yes it is and so is this fic so Im saying this now THIS fic is NOT to be taken seriously. It is in no way true to any thing in the books its only purpose is to Be outrageously Stupid and funny and give you a great big belly laugh SO IF you are one of those analytically minded people you wont like my fic so you might as well leave. AND IF you do intend on taking this piece of fiction seriously I suggest getting some psiciatric help right away. For everyone else though I hope you enjoy this fic.
Disclaimer: I own none of this it all belongs to George Lucas and any other Famous works are cited in the fic or after it. SO don’t sue. Thank you.
Any who heres my fic: JEDI BLOOPERS AND CANDID MOMENTS
Intro.
We have secretly stashed hidden cameras around areas where we know Jedi of all ages hang out. This weeks topic: Jacen Solo.
Turning up his music full blast Jacen Solo is caught using his lightsaber as a microphone while singing, “I Got You Babe,” By Sunny and Cher to serenade his animals each morning when he wakes up.
Meanwhile...
Hearing annoying music emanating from Jacens, Tenel Ka walked into Jacens room only to be scared out of her mind, by what was previously noted of Jacen, and then turning as fast as she could she ran down the hall screaming from the fact that Jacen might somehow have been possessed by some sick and twisted Sith Lord.
*************
Unbeknownst to Jacen, or in other words: You know that I know that I know that you know that you know that we know that they know and they know that we know that EVERYONE knows (excepting Jacen of course) that at this very moment Tenel Ka was running down the hall only to meet up with Jaina Solo and after relating what she had just witnessed to her they both ran back to save Jacen from the twisted Sith Lord.
Undeterred by Tenel Ka’s strange behavior, however he continued to sing when all of a sudden his door once again bursts open as Jaina and Tenel Ka rushed in lightsabers drawn. And Jaina determined to save her brother, shoved him to the floor and yelled, “Die Sith Die!” before bursting out laughing.
Groans are heard from the other two, “Jaina! Not again! This is getting ridiculous!”
“I’m sorry Jacen I couldn’t help it!” She said between laughs.
“Cut!” He yelled, “Somebody Cut!” Sighing he said, “All right people one last time and it better be right.”
------Scene 1-------
------Take #573-----
“And Action!”
Jaina shoves Jacen to the floor and yells, “Die Sith Die!” She raises her light saber to strike when all of a sudden a howl is heard through the halls and Lowie barges in stepping all over the holo recorder while showing Jaina a greasy hyperdrive that needed to be fixed. Hearing the crunch of metal and plastic underneath his foot the looked down and howled an apology.
The others groaned, “LOWIE!”
Fed up with all of it Jacen yelled, “That’s it! I quit!” and got up only to make the mistake of tripping over his own robes and falling flat of his face.
“You know I bet you I could fix that holo camera for 5 cred cards.” Jaina said.
Now in the state of having a mental break down Jacen yelled, “HOPELESS! YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL HOPELESS!”
END~~~
By the way if you couldn’t tell I was making fun of every aspect of the 4 Jedi knights. So please don’t be mad at me I was just having a bit of fun at 1:20 this morning.
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 1:27pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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next one with kyp...
AND FOR ALL OF YOU WHO LIKE KYP...
WELL I HAVE 4 WORDS FOR YOU: KYP IN GREEN TIGHTS...
LOL!
HOPE YOU LIKE.
**~**~**~
One morning Jaina was walking down the corridor as Jag jauntily came walking up to her, “Hey Jaina?” He asked, while sucking on a giant rainbow lollypop, “What are we going to do today?”
“The same thing we do everyday Jag,” She answerd dryly, “Find Kyp, jump in our X-Wings and slag some Vong.”
(Yes I know I credit that to warner brothers:Pinky and the Brain)
“Oh, Ok.” He said looking dejected. “But don’t you think we could...”
“NO!”
“But just once..”
“NO!”
“But Kyp is.” he whined.
“I don’t care! I said no!”
“Fine, be that way.” He said pouting.
She sighing, strange things were at work here, reaching out with the force she felt towards Kyp and found that he was in one of the various training rooms w/ some of the Jedi Trainees. Stranger and stranger. “Come on.” She said to Jag pulling him with her. Getting on the nearest turbo lift they went to the 125th mid-level of the Jedi Temple.
****************
Leaving the turbo lift they walked to the last door in the corridor and entered the training room. And to Jaina’s complete horror she saw Kyp Durron, Jedi Master in a complete Peter Pan outfit, tites and all, at the moment he was prancing around the floor yelling, “Lost boys , Lost boys come on follow me!”
“Yey!” Jag yelled and tryed to run over to where Kyp was, but Jaina caught the arm of his flight suit.
“KYP! What in the name of Sith are you doing!?” She yelled.
“Having fun!” he shouted as he went back to prancing.
Jag kept pulling to join Kyp, “Jaina can’t I please go play?” He whined.
“No! Has everyone gone crazy except for me?”
Everyone stopped and looked at her before yelling, “YEP!”
Jag finally got away from her and went to join Kyp, while Jaina went on to have a nervous break down, sobbing and laughing histericaly at the same time.
In unison all the people in the room said, “WE HAVE PULLED YOU IN THERE IS NO ESCAPE! WAHAHAHAHAAAAA!”
“NNOOOOOOOO!” Jaina yelled, before waking up only to find it hadn’t been a dream at all and found her self in a justures suit started to scream.
END... OR IS IT???...
******************
and yes the peter pan thing does not belong to me it belongs most ly to disney and anyother corporation that has clames on it.
So what did you all think?
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Rogue11JS
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 1:28pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
|
THe new postIe!!!
****************
Today on Jedi Bloopers and Candid Moments we see Jedi Master Kyp Durron and Jedi Knights: Jaina, Jacen, and Anakin Solo, along with Jagged Fel, Wes Jason and Tihiri Veila heading out for a vacation. Where are they going? Hologram Fun World of course! Lets take a closer look shall we?
*A bulletin shows up on the screen*
WARNING: Under no circumstances let Jedi or fighter pilots ANYWHERE near an amusement park!
********************************
Having already paid for their tickets and all day wrist bands Kyp, Jaina, Jag, Jacen, Anakin, Tihiri, and Wes all raced through the entrances to the park. “Last one there’s a rotten hutt, first one there’s the winner!” Yelled Jaina.
“Second one there’s the... Second winner!” Wes yelled out as they all started running faster.
Reaching the first of many rides Jag taunted, “Ha Ha Wes your the rotten hut!”
“Am not!” He said peevishly, “Anakin is!”
“I am not! You take that back you wromprat!” Anakin retorted.
Sensing a fight Tihiri stepped up, “Will you two boys stop it!” She interjected as Wes stuck his tongue out at Anakin. Anakin made a face back.
“He started it!” They both said in unison, pointing at each other.
“I don’t care if a holographic rodian started it, just stop fighting!” She said.
Wes then made a face at Anakin as Tihiri turned away and Anakin glared before catching up with her and put an arm around her shoulders.
The others not having noticed that anything had taken place between the three had all walked over to a vendor to purchase seven cotton candies (as if they really needed any more sugar) and seven Corillian carbonated fizzy drinks, of various flavors. Walking back over to them Jaina and Jag handed the cotton candy and fizzy drinks to Tihiri, Anakin, and Wes. “Come on guys,” Jag said after taking a sip of his fizzy drink, “We’re all gonna rid the ‘Kessel Run of Doom!”
“But I wanted to ride the ‘Rancid Rancor.’” Whined Wes.
“That baby ride?!” Taunted Anakin, “I bet your just scared to ride the Doom.”
“No I’m not!” He said taking the challenge.
“Enough!” Jag interupted, ”We can go on that ride later. Now come on before the ride starts without us.
Jag and Anakin hurried to catch up with the others, while Wes lagged behind muttering imprecations.
*****************************
NOTE : If this story seems like it has no point that’s because at the moment it doesn’t other than to annoy the heck out of you.
*Back to the story*
***********************
The Kessel Run of Doom Consists of a huge simulator which allows you to go through the Kessel Run while holographic objects like asteroids and tie-fighters fly at you as distractions. But before you can get to the sims you have to travel through the maze of holographic mirrors that can change and mislead you when your on the right track or hopelessly lost.
(Like this story)
Upon reaching the ride Kyp noticed a sign which he read out loud, “This ride is not made for those weak of heart, stomach, or bladder.”
“Well I guess that leaves you out Wes.” Said Jacen.
“Ha ha very funny Jacen.” He said, walking up to the ride and without waiting or looking back he went in.
“Hey Wes wait up!” They yelled after him.
**********************
Walking into the maze of mirrors Wes was immediately lost. He wasn’t able to hear or see anyone behind him the only way he could see was in front of him and only when the lights flickered on. He didn’t get very far though before the lights turned off again. Then he heard strange noises.
***********************
Before entering the maze of mirrors Kyp stopped everyone, ”Hey,” he said, “Lets play some tricks on Janson, just fool with his head a bit?”
“OK!” said Jaina, “What do you have in mind?”
***********************
Wes kept walking through and past mirrors, every once in a while amid the strange sounds he thought he heard the whisper of someone’s voice. They started getting closer together and he could hear them clearly now. “Wes!” he heard a smoky whisper say and he jumped, “Don’t go on.” it said. “This is not the way!” howled another. “Go back while you still can!” and then among everything he heard a shrillful scream and turning he jumped back into a mirror. Turning around he saw his reflection and then screamed as he saw a Zombified Twilek walk towards him, arms stretched out dripping with rotten flesh. Still screaming Wes ran down the line of mirrors but skidded to a stop when a thick fog surrounded him. Then The whispers came back. Moving his hand through the fog he noticed it didn’t move around him. “Hey!” he said getting angry, “These are Jedi tricks! Ok, whose the joker!” He yelled and pushed his way around the scenery.
“WES!” they yelled, “You cant stop acting in the middle of a play!”
“What?” he asked, “What play?”
Turning they all pointed to the side. Turning around Wes saw a whole audience looking back at him blinking and they started chucking.”
“What’s so funny?” he asked as he heard laughs coming from behind him now too.
“Um, Wesss?” Jaina said as she tried to stifle a laugh but not quite succeeding, “Did you forget how to dress yourself this morning?
“WHAT?!” he said looking down, and seeing only ewok boxers he yelled, “AHHH! Where are my pants?!” He tried running away but he couldn’t move then everyone started calling out his name, “Wes?... Wes... Wes!!!”
“What?!” he asked and jumped up only to find himself still in his bed. With Kell standing over him with an empty water bucket.
Realizing how wet he was he wiped his face of with a somewhat section of his blanket. “What do you want?” he stuttered.
“Come on Wes, it’s our day off you said you wanted to hang out.”
Sitting up he asked, “Where are we going?”
“Hologram Fun World of course you said yesterday that’s where you wanted to go.”
Upon hearing the name Wes screamed, “NOOO!!! You can’t make me! You can’t make me!” as he jumped back into his bed and pulled the wet covers over his head.
END......
*******************************
There you go!. I just wanted to show you what its like in wes jansons everyday dream. so that you understand why he is the way he is.
Hope you liked!
~Rogue
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 1:29pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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Ok everyone this post was NOT written by me. In actuality it was written by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous or to be called by: Flex/Spunk. Yes Spunk is another person.
So this is her version of a blooper.
Hope you enjoy!
****************
WHEN HAN KILLS LEIA.
On his day off, Han was lounging around the Falcon, cleaning his blaster till it shined. Suddenly, without warning, someone came up behind him. Without hesitation he turned around blasts off three shots, aiming for the heart. Then, he realizes who it is. It’s Leia, his wife. Wide eyed and bleeding from the chest as she fell to the ground, whispering his name.
Dread and utter dispair wracked his heart as he rushed toward her. “Oh, sweetheart I’m so sorry.” He said holding her shaking form. “Oh my Gods!” Suddenly her skin begins to melt... Revealing a robot.
Leia came out from behind the wall, and just stared at him with a slight smile. Hans expression turned from shocked to angry as he looked back at her. “How could you?” He fumed, not sure of whether he should be mad or relieved and said, “You tricked me!” Before storming off.
END...
**********************
This was written at lunch time originally to scare me about a new story that never got written. and at time it worked.
Please review!
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 1:30pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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Ok everyone here is the new post sorry its taken so long to get to you but well what can you do when darth writters block takes over. SO This Candid moment was Inspired by Jedi Mastre Kris so the credit goes to him YEEEEYYYYY!!!
So Mastre heres your Ani/Obi!
@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*
Today Jedi Bloopers and Candid Moments is showing a special on: Jedi Masters and their Padawans.
*Camera focuses on Anakin*
Anakin Skywalker has been told many times to stay in the Jedi Temple instead of going out for joy rides, but has he ever listened???
NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*Do you like my narrators? I find them funny.”
Running towards a speeder Anakin jumps in and, jump-starting it he takes off speeding. Heading towards the lower levels of Coroscant, Anakin reaches a Cantina full of fighter pilots, smugglers, and traders. Most of which were either drinking at the bar or playing Sabaac and drinking. There were various bands playing in turn, and at the moment they were Nubian Wind Chime’s. Anakin (in civilian clothing of course) walked over to one of the games of Sabaac and started to play.
*****************
After winning the game Anakin decided he wanted a drink so he stopped playing and went towards the bar as a speaker announced, “And now... Ben Kent singing: I Will Survive. (This song is someone else’s however at this moment I don’t know who’s so when I find out I will edit this fic.) Not caring much about the music Anakin kept drinking his ale while some drunk sat across from him telling stories to another drunk who was already unconscious. “Yous knows,” the drunk slurred, “Thiss Ben Kents guy ain’t bads.” Finally hearing the singer Anakin turned around and was utterly shocked to see Obi Wan Kenobi parading around on the stage singing.
Furious Anakin stood up, “Master!” He yelled, and Obi Wan stopped singing.
“Anakin what....??!!” he said shocked.
“How dare you?!” Anakin yelled walking toward him.
“Anakin I can explain,” He started, but Anakin wouldn’t listen. “How could you come here? To Kariokie night no less!... and not invite ME!!!” He said stopping in front of the stage.
Confused Obi Wan asked, “Is that all? Is that what you want?”
“YES!” Anakin yelled exasperated.
“Ok, then,” He said, “Get up on the stage then.
“Yey! WOOHHOO!!!” he yelled, jumping up on the stage as the music by Weird Al Yanchovich started to play, “Ohh, my my this here Anakin guy!” They started to sing and before the second verse everyone even the drunks ran out screaming from shear terror. But nevertheless Anakin and Obi Wan went on Singing even after the banshee yelled out in agony.
END...
However those that looked could find Yoda in the Jedi Temple shaking his head in disgrace while covering his ears.
@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@
There I hope that was all right I know its kind of strange but with this writters block its hard to work with such things the way that I would like to.
Please R/R.
THANKS!
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Proud Jedi Master Of TenelKaJedi-RIP my friend
JEDI BLOOPERS: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/11488158/?474
Dont mess with me and my 64 personalities
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 1:31pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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NEW POSTIE FINALY!!!!!!!!!
Here’s the new postie.
***********************
Welcome Everyone!
This week on Jedi Bloopers we have a special treat for all of you. The Real story of the Final Argument between Luke and Darth Vader on the Second Death Star. Darth Vader and Luke stood in the turbolift, “We are here my son.” his deep voice hissed through the mask. The turbolift opened ... Half way... “What the..” “I told them to fix this piece of crap!!!!” Vader yelled hitting the door. “Uhh! Forget it!” Pushing it open with the force. “Come on.” he said. Luke followed Vader through the entrance way. The Emperor’s Throne Room was dark, and the silence was oppressive. Walking up to the throne the Emperor turned his chair and a loud SCREECH of metal echoed through the cabin “Ach! Dang it where’s that oil can!???” The Emperor glanced around for it. Remembering Vader and Luke he looked up and said, “Welcome young Starkiller.”
Luke glanced around from side to side then said, “Psst, Psst Hey Ian! It’s Skywalker!!!”
“Huh? Oh Crap! That was the original draft!” “Ok one more time.”
_________________________
“Welcome young Skywalker... I have been expecting you...” The Emperor waves a hand motioning to the bindings on Luke’s wrists and WAK! A thud is heard and the camera man goes down and the camera drops to an angle of everyone’s feet before fading. Voices are heard in the background “Hey Jack are you ok?!” Ian yelled from the set, “I’m real sorry!”
“It’s all right I’m ok... Oww! I think I broke my arm!”
“Um... Ok everyone take five!”
_________________
“And Action!”
“You no longer need those.”
The binders fell from Luke’s wrists. “Guards leave us!” Stiffly the guards walked away importantly. Reaching the lift the first guard tripped into the lift. Holding back a chuckle the second guard walked into the lift not noticing that his robe had gotten stuck in the door, “Hey what the...” was heard from the shaft and two matinence crewmen ran over to help him.
Looking back over at Vader & Luke, Vader was shaking his helmet in disgrace as a loud rip was heard from the end of the set, “Ok he’s loose!”
Sighing Mark Hamill said, “Finally can we get on with this scene now? Some of us do have places to be you know.”
_____________
“I’m looking forward to completing your training,” the Emperor said, “In time you will call me Mother! No Master no mother no!!!”
James Earl Jones (Voice of Darth Vader) could be heard from the background, “HAW HAW HAW you said Mother!!!”
“UGH! Fine in time you will call me Master.”
“You’re gravely mistaken,” Luke started, “You won’t convert me as you did my father.”
Getting up the Emperor walks closely to Luke and Luke can see the madness in his eyes. “Oh no my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.”
“His lifesaver,” Vader extends his hand giving the Emperor Luke’s lifesaver.
“Ahh yes, a Jedi’s weapon. Much like your father’s. By now you must know your father can never be turned to the dark side. So it will be with you.”
“Um Yeah,” Mark said, “My point exactly. But back to the script now... Soon I’ll be dead... and you with me.”
The Emperor laughs trying to cover up his mistake. “Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet?”
Luke looks down nervously.
“Yes I assure you we are quite safe from you friends here.”
“Your overconfidence is your weakness.”
“Your faith in your friends is yours.”
“Its pointless to resist my son,” Vader says.
“Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on the sanctuary moon...” Indicates Endor... “are walking into a trap. As is your Rebel Fleet! It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them.
****************
So whacha think Crazy enough for you?
(R/R)
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Dont mess with me and my 64 personalities
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/29/03 7:11pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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UP!
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Dont mess with me and my 64 personalities
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/30/03 7:35am
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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up
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Dont mess with me and my 64 personalities
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
4/30/03 3:06pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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UP! DARN YOU STAY UP!
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
5/1/03 3:14pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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UP!
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JEDI BLOOPERS: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/11488158/?474
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Ra_Skywalker420
Registered:
Mar '03
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Date Posted:
5/1/03 4:10pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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omg...i wish i had this much spare time...really...those were so amusing. specially the jacen and the "i got you babe" one. those are great...more soon?
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-Skywalker
-Rogue Princess Smuggler
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
5/1/03 4:14pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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Um well i was really thinking no but since you asked well...
WHat the Heck? SURE!!!
*****NEW READER NEW READER!!!!!!!*******
WELCOME YOU HAVE NOW ENTERED A NO NON JUNK FOOD AND LAUGHING HISTERICALY LIKE YOUR ON A SUGAR HI ZONE!!!! PREPARE FOR LUDICRIOUS SPEED!!!!!!!!!!
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Boba_Fett_123
Registered:
Aug '02
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Date Posted:
5/1/03 5:45pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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Oh my God...That is hilarious. I couldn't read past the second post, I was laughing so hard. This is shameless farce of the lowest quality...great stuff. There's such an absolute disregard for anything ever written about SW. I love it! Keep it up!
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Ra_Skywalker420
Registered:
Mar '03
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Date Posted:
5/1/03 6:27pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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AND DONT FORGET THE DR PERKY!!! ::looks around:: ::all is silent:: ::retreats back into a dark corner, holding blaster:: ::waits gloomily for new post::
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-Skywalker
-Rogue Princess Smuggler
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
5/4/03 1:53pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
- Date Edited:
5/4/03 1:59pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Rogue11JS
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YeaY More new readers!!!!
Boba_Fett_123- Thank you!! Wow im so glad you all liked it i wasnt sure how funny they were when i showed them to my friends at school.
Thanks again!
Skywalker!- Haa haa haa!!!
WAIT....
Huh?
Wha???
Im confused.........
Oh well...
In case you were wondering the new post will be about Jag...
ANd his two brothers and if your wondering what ive decided to call them then let me fill you in their names are...
Jagged
Rugged
AND...
SHARP!
But youll just have to wait for that post...
a little longer i still have homework to do..
EDIT: Oh and Boba yes its alot of fun to disregard every pretense that has ever been given to the characters and just write like everyone is insane *its what comes from being around to many band members*
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Proud Jedi Master Of TenelKaJedi-RIP my friend
JEDI BLOOPERS: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/11488158/?474
Dont mess with me and my 64 personalities
My life or hers:http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/11343662/?420
Yub
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Rogue11JS
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
5/4/03 6:58pm
Subject:
RE: Jedi Boopers Candid Moments: New Postie 4/29
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Just wrote the new post sorry but i dont think its as funny!
-----signature-----
Proud Jedi Master Of TenelKaJedi-RIP my friend
JEDI BLOOPERS: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/11488158/?474
Dont mess with me and my 64 personalities
My life or hers:http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/11343662/?420
Yub
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