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Author	Topic: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 3/4/08
Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 8/31/04 3:57pm Subject: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	"I hate you, you know." "Yeah, I kind of got that after the first five times you said it," he shot back, and she scowled, turning to stare out at the blurred landscape around them as their landspeeder wound its way through the public forest. Sighing, Kyp Durron shook his head to himself, maneuvering the speeder over the narrow paths that wound their way up the side of the mountain, and wondered if anything was worth this kind of hassle. It was as if Jaina was trying to see if she could push him far enough to make him shove her out of the landspeeder, and in truth, he'd considered the idea briefly once or twice already on their short journey. You knew it wouldn't be easy, he reminded himself, jaw tightening. But at least you didn't have to resort to violence to get her here. He would have, though, if she'd given him no other choice. Allowing Jaina to miss her brother's funeral was not something that he could accept, not when he knew firsthand the anguish of losing a brother. Not a single day went by that he didn't miss Zeth, that he didn't feel responsible for his death, and that he didn't wish there could have been some sort of funeral for him. Kyp refused to let Jaina live with that same kind of regret. He just wished there was something he could do to help ease her suffering, and she was suffering terribly, he could sense it, despite the impressive shields she had constructed around herself to numb the pain. It had nearly caused him to stumble upon coming across her with all of her defenses down, the durasteel walls around her heart lowered for a brief, flickering moment as she stood in the palace, gazing up at the night sky overhead, her presence reaching out towards the stars, as if calling for those who would never again answer. His presence hadn't gone undetected for long, though, and her shields had slammed down so tightly that it had been as if someone had turned off a brilliant sun. Needless to say, Jaina had not been at all pleased to see him, and even less so once the meaning of his arrival became clear. His own carefully controlled anger had been insignificant next to the blazing fury that surged within the small Jedi princess, and he had been a little wary to realize that if she had been armed at that moment, she might very well have attacked him. The idea had certainly occurred to her, and as unsettling as that was, it had been that very thing that resigned her to coming with him in the end. Sparing Jaina a glance, Kyp couldn't help but admire the way the sand-colored Jedi robes, identical to his own, seemed like second skin on her. They were much looser than the clinging scarlet gown she had been wearing when he found her in the palace, a gown he had to admit he wouldn't have minded seeing her in again, but somehow they suited her. He told himself it had absolutely nothing to do with the twinge of satisfaction he felt as seeing her wearing his robes. She's Mara's apprentice, remember? he reminded himself with a wry chuckle. And Mara Jade Skywalker has made it perfectly clear she doesn't appreciate anyone moving in on her apprentice. Of course, that wasn't enough to deter him, really. Mara Jade Skywalker may have been intimidating to most, but after his experiences with the spirit of Exar Kun, Kyp found it very rare that anyone, Master Skywalker included, was able to intimidate him. There was just something about Sith Lords that made everyone else, even Mara, seem almost amicable in comparison. The blur of trees around them began to thin, giving way to scrub, and Kyp felt Jaina tense beside him as the twin moons overhead cast a pale glow across the somber congregation of Jedi gathered among the rock formations that crowned the silent mountain, surrounded by a hundred lit torches whose flames flickered and danced in the evening air. Pulling up a respectful distance from the pyre, Kyp brought the landspeeder to a halt, and Jaina was off before he'd even come to a full stop, clearly eager to get as far away from him as possible, lest people think that she was actually playing the part of the dutiful little apprentice. Jaina, too, it seemed, had noticed the implications of their matching robes. Chuckling to himself, Kyp climbed out of the speeder and followed at a relaxed pace, taking in the good-sized crowd that had come to pay their respects to the fallen Jedi Knight. Still dressed in her elaborate gown from the banquet, Tenel Ka stood out among the rest of the survivors from the Myrkr strike team, but her solemn composure more than made up for it. Lowbacca, Ganner Rhysode, Tesar Sebatyne, Tekli and Alema Rar stood together, as if drawing strength from one another, and Kyp had little doubt that the bonds forged during the hellish mission to Myrkr would not dwindle after this... who else could understand the horrors they had suffered, but those who had experienced it alongside them? Tahiri Veila, however, stood with Han and Leia Solo, a distant, empty expression on her face, and it tugged at Kyp's heart to feel the floating loneliness inside of her. Without Anakin, she was lost, floundering, and there didn't seem to be anything that anyone could do to help her find her center again. And as for the final survivor of Myrkr... Kyp followed Jaina's gaze to the high, flat stone in the midst of a ring of torches, and his chest tightened with sorrow and regret. The youngest Solo had been laid, with great care and reverence, across the stone, most likely by Luke Skywalker, and it could not have been an easy task for the esteemed Jedi Master. Kyp had lost an apprentice during this war, himself, but Anakin had been more than just an apprentice to Luke, and there was pain the likes of which Kyp had never seen before in Master Skywalker's eyes tonight. From his place between his sister and Mara, Luke's sad blue eyes swept over the crowd gathered, as if looking for something or someone, and finally came to rest on Jaina, who failed to notice, unable to tear her gaze away from the lifeless body of her younger brother. At the sight of his niece, the tension in Luke's shoulders eased some, and he gave Kyp a small nod of gratitude, which Kyp merely met with a nod of his own. Now that Jaina was here, and Kyp was certain that Luke had been waiting for her arrival, the funeral could begin. It was Tahiri who came forward first, moving into the circle of torches like a floating wraith, barefoot as always, a heavy shroud of grief enveloping her every step. "Anakin saved my life," she said simply, eyes piercing through the flames to trace the features of the boy she loved, a profound and deep sadness visible on her face. "The Yuuzhan Vong locked my body in a cage and tried to do the same thing to my mind. Anakin came to Yavin Four, alone, and brought me out." So deep was the longing inside of her as she fell silent, that it took Leia's hand on the girl's shoulder to shake her out of it, and Tahiri looked back at Anakin's mother helplessly, the scars on her forehead clear in the moonlight, making her look even smaller than usual. She must have seen something in Leia's eyes to give her strength, because she sighed, allowing Leia to guide her away from the pyre. A few seconds passed, and then a young refugee boy stepped forward hesitantly, biting his lip. Through the Force, Kyp felt Jaina's heart shatter, and he sent a whisper of his own strength into her, hoping she would take it, but her shields were so firmly in place that it didn't make any difference, and he wondered if she had even felt his effort. "Anakin Solo saved my life," Tarc echoed Tahiri's sentiments. "I never met Anakin, but people tell me I look like him. I don't know why the lady on Coruscant wanted me to look like this. She promised that my mother and sisters would be safe if I let them change my face." A flicker of Jaina's horrified outrage touched his senses, she was clearly just as confused by the boy's appearance as she was distraught over it. "I don't know why," Tarc finished tentatively. "All I know is looking like Anakin saved my life. Maybe it saved my family, too." As the boy resumed his place among the crowd, Kyp leaned closer to Jaina. "Viqi Shesh," he murmured for her benefit, and her heartbroken anguish sharpened itself into steely determination, fueled by a cool anger that wouldn't be easily forgotten. "Han told me about it." Right on cue, Han took Tarc's place, and Kyp's heart went out to his old friend, who suddenly looked older now than Kyp could ever recall him appearing to be. "Anakin saved my life," Han said hoarsely, eyes tired and haunted. "Mine, and a whole shipload of people I would have let burn into starfood. He made the hard decision at Sernpidal, the right decision." He closed his eyes for a moment, as if to block out Chewie and Anakin's deaths, then opened them again, letting out a shuddering breath. "I hope he knows that." Beside him, Kyp felt Jaina's shields falter for a moment, but she avoided looking at her father as Han sought out Leia, wrapping an arm around his wife's slender shoulders and leaning into her, the two grieving parents taking comfort in one another, while Jaina seemed to withdraw even further into herself. He had been hoping that she would speak, that she might be moved to share her own memories of Anakin or his heroic actions at Myrkr, because it would help with the grieving process, but it was clear now that wasn't going to happen. Jaina was keeping herself as detached as possible from her pain, and that wasn't a good thing, but he supposed she was entitled to finding her own way through this ordeal. Besides, there wasn't really much he could do for her right now, if she didn't want to take that first step towards healing, he wasn't going to push her. For now, he would just do what little he could. Moving forward to take his place amidst the glowing torches, Kyp ignored Jaina's incredulous stare, folding his hands behind his back calmly and waited a heartbeat or two for the right words to come to mind. "I knew Anakin mostly through reputation," he began quietly. "But I suspect that someday I will be able to stand before a solemn assembly and tell how this young Jedi changed, even saved, my life." He paused for a moment, a faint and distant stirring in the Force whispering around him. "The deeds of heroes send ripples spreading through the Force. Anakin's life continues to flow outward, touching and guiding those who have yet to hear his name." Han and Leia were watching him with tears in their eyes, but he could sense their gratitude, and how much his words meant to them. Mara had lowered her head, letting the words wash over her, but Luke alone seemed to see right through Kyp, as if he, too, could feel the faraway echo of those ripples, and had some impossible knowledge of what those ripples might accomplish. "Most of us here use the Force," Kyp concluded, turning his gaze to Anakin's form with a reverent sigh. "This young man embodied it." Leia smiled faintly through her tears, and several of the Jedi gathered nodded their agreement, murmuring softly as Kyp reclaimed his place beside Jaina, who was pointedly not looking at him, but he could sense her wonder and amazement, and he knew that he had spoken the very words she needed someone to say on her behalf. If any of what he'd said helped Jaina come to terms with Anakin's death, then he'd done what he hoped to do. A handful of other Jedi came forward, speaking softly of their own experiences with Anakin, how he had saved their lives during this war, how he had been a beacon during the dark times that had befallen the galaxy, how he had been a role-model, but more importantly a friend. All of the surviving strike team members spoke, including Ganner Rhysode who recalled how Anakin had pushed onward to destroy the voxyn, and their success laid solely at the fallen Jedi's feet. After Ganner finished, there was an uncomfortable moment where Zekk and the others looked to Jaina expectantly, but Mara, sensing that Jaina was not prepared for such a task, took pity on her niece and moved into the circle of light herself, drawing the attention of those gathered away from Jaina. "Anakin saved my life at Dantooine," Mara said with a weak smile. "But what he really did for me there was something even greater He saved me from the despair my illness had created, he gave me hope again. He renewed my faith in myself, and in the Force." She chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Anakin was always trying to do the right thing, to help others... he wanted to be good, to be a hero, but he didn't realize he was already the greatest hero of all." By now, the twin moons had converged, and begun to sink along their separate paths towards the jagged forest horizon. In a few hours the sun would start to rise, and a new day would begin once more, leaving this sorrowful night to memory. With purposeful silence, Luke Skywalker picked up one of the torches and moved forward. A low, sharp breath came from Jaina, one he wouldn't have heard if he hadn't been standing so close, and Kyp briefly thought about trying to send her support through the Force again, but he knew she wouldn't accept it. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, watching the light from the torches dance across her profile as she, in turn, watched her uncle, her breath caught in her throat and despair rising up inside of her. Luke lowered the torch to the stone bier, and the flame spread, limning Anakin's body in golden light that was so bright it brought tears to Kyp's eyes. "There is no emotion," Luke began the familiar refrain, and the other Jedi joined in, their voices lifting towards the sky alongside the floating embers from Anakin's funeral pyre. "There is peace." Murmuring the well-memorized lines from the Code with the others, Kyp was aware that one person among them was not participating, and Luke seemed to realize it, too, because his gaze slowly made its way to Jaina, who was staring at Anakin's burning body with clenched jaw, the flames reflected in her dark eyes. A swirl of dark, tangled emotions hung around her, anger and fear and anguish. More than anything, though, he sensed her utter, empty despair, and he inexplicably felt it crying out to him, just as it had not long before her stolen Yuuzhan Vong frigate had emerged in the midst of the battle over Coruscant. As if a veil had been lifted from his eyes, Kyp saw suddenly, with a jolt of alarm, Jaina's desire to fling herself into the flames with her brother, and he actually reached out to grab her shoulder before he realized that he had not seen any conscious thought of doing so. It was just a feeling, perhaps one that she had buried so deeply beneath her shields that she wasn't even aware of herself. "There is no death," Luke's voice was at the forefront of the final strand, his eyes on his niece. "There is the Force." It seemed to Kyp that Master Skywalker was speaking directly to Jaina, as if trying to reach her, but she was somewhere else entirely now, perhaps with the embers floating up towards the stars, perhaps somewhere he couldn't even begin to fathom, wherever her brothers were. No one spoke for some time, the gravity of the moment, coupled with the cloud of sadness that had fallen over them, was too precious for words. In time, the fire dissipated into thousands of dancing motes that rose slowly into the sky, shimmering against the darkness like newborn stars, and the celestial lights high overhead seemed to shine brighter now, as if Anakin himself was among them now, casting his light across the galaxy for all to see. Slowly, the crowd began to disperse, many moving towards Han and Leia to offer their condolences, but Jaina continued to stare at empty bier where her brother's body had lain, tears shinning in her dark, swirling eyes, so Kyp spotted Zekk coming their way before she did. He gave her a gentle nudge with the Force, just enough to direct her attention to the incoming Jedi, and he felt a distinct dread within her as she caught sight of her friend approaching. To her credit, though, she blinked away her tears with impressive speed and her shields slammed down as tight as an airlock, showing nothing but a cool, emotionless surface. Still, it was obvious that she had neither the strength nor the composure to deal with Zekk right now. Kyp knew, with Jedi certainty, that if Zekk were to try and put his arms around her, Jaina would shatter into a thousand broken pieces. Clearly, Jaina knew it, too, because her desperation to get away spiked, and she unconsciously cried for help, a cry which no one save for Kyp seemed able to hear. Taking a small step forward, Kyp positioned himself in Zekk's path, acting as a buffer between him and Jaina, which earned him an irritable glare from the younger man. It was a clear request for him to get out of the way, but Kyp wasn't going anywhere, and after a moment, Zekk seemed to realize that. "We're returning to Eclipse tomorrow morning with Master Skywalker," he informed Jaina, deciding to ignore Kyp's presence. Jaina folded her arms with a curt nod of acknowledgment. "So this is good-bye." "You're not coming?" Zekk asked, taken aback. "Not for a while." Zekk simply stood there, staring at her expectantly, green eyes sharp and expectant. "Kyp asked me to be his apprentice," Jaina said smoothly, sweeping both arms wide to invite inspection of the robes Kyp had outfitted her with. "I'm thinking about taking it for a test flight." Zekk glanced at Kyp warily out of the corner of his eye, and Kyp kept his expression blank, letting him take that as he wanted to. The younger Jedi then looked at Jaina with somber eyes, regarding her with distinct disappointment, and something that Kyp wasn't quite sure how to define. "Then you're right," Zekk said lowly. "This is good-bye." And with that he abruptly turned and strode away, towards Tenel Ka and the others. Jaina stared after him for a moment, then scoffed, dropping her arms. "Well, that was rude," she declared with a wry smirk. "Get used to it," Kyp advised her softly. "Once word of this little evasion of yours gets around, and that should take about fifteen nanoseconds, you'll find that rogue Jedi live in a world of temperature extremes. Things are either very hot or very cold." Sure enough, the congregation of young Jedi that Zekk had approached now turned incredulous stares in their direction, and he felt Jaina's hackles rise. "Evasion?" she echoed, giving him a challenging look. "Are you so sure I wasn't serious?" "No, I'm not," Kyp countered honestly. "But then again, neither are you. When you make up your mind, let me know. In the meantime, good luck with your friends." He nodded at the cluster of young Jedi storming towards them, with an unhappy Tahiri Veila in the lead, flanked by Tenel Ka and Lowbacca, with the others only a step behind. The coming altercation wasn't going to be pretty, that much he was certain of, and he had no intention of sticking around for it. If and when Jaina decided she was serious about wanting to be his apprentice, he would deal with all the drama that would inevitably come with it. Until then, it was her mess to deal with, and he wanted no part of it. "When they're finished with you," he told her flatly. "Help yourself to the landspeeder. I won't be returning to the city." Jaina opened her mouth, possibly to demand he not leave her to face the approaching firestorm alone, but she closed it again, clenching her jaw, and turned to her friends defiantly. Despite himself, Kyp smiled as he strode away. No one could deny that Jaina Solo had spirit. -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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DarthJaina Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 8/31/04 7:04pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Fantastic post, JPS! Sorry it took me so long to reply- I started to read it right after you posted, then the storm got too close and I had to shut down for a bit I loved this update, though- it was sad with the funeral (and thank you so much for actually giving us emotions from Jaina at this- unlike the book, ugh), funny with Kyp and Jaina (the "I hate you" made me snicker, lol), and then there were little bits of foreshadowing in there, too, making it just an all-around awesome post! -----signature----- "Do you want the short answer, or do you need someone to explain it to you with charts and diagrams?" -Jag and Jaina in DJ "You're a major now?" "I'm better than that, I'm a holovid star. Not to mention a goddess." -Jacen and Jaina in DW
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Goddess-of-Trickery Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 8/31/04 7:41pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	"I hate you, you know." "Yeah, I kind of got that after the first five times you said it/" LOL! That sounded exactly like my brother and I when I'm sulking after an argument, lol! Great post, it was nice to actually see how Jaina reacted to the funeral, I loved the bit where Kyp could sense some part of her wanted to follow Anakin and Jacen into the fire. I can't wait for another post- lol, I know, I know, I am just going to have to be patient -----signature----- "You couldn't channel the Force wearing that dress. There isn't enough room in there for it to squeeze through."- Kyp, DJ
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Daughterofflame Registered: Sep '03	Date Posted: 8/31/04 9:25pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Wow. With as good as this fic is, I'm super surprised that no one else has replied yet. Hmmm. ?:\| Well, that's OK! I'll be the first one! Loved it. You did a great job of taking a scene that had already been written and making it totally yours. That's pretty hard to do. Can't wait for more. ~*~Austyn, the now swamped-with-college-stuff Daughter of Flame -----signature----- Master to BigFatty!:D Acts 5:41 http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=18095891 My Light, My Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=18473316 After Forever Pt 2 I'm going to say, "Merry Christmas!", thank you very much.
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Ars_longa Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 8/31/04 11:43pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	This is probably my favorite scene in DJ... and you amplified it just fine. Very, very believable. A. -----signature----- For me Star Wars without Kyp Durron do not exist. Hey, Lucas & Co! I'm serious! http://www.livejournal.com/community/kyp_durron_fic/ - the community for my fiction and all Kyp-related things at LJ. Come and join. We're a friendly bunch of fiends.
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JainaSoloSkywalker Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 9/1/04 8:55am Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Very nicely done, JPS! The funeral was great, and you really brought more depth and dimension to what had been, IMO, a rather disappointing scene in the novel. Keep the updates coming! -----signature----- "I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of surviving... and getting to the end of the war and discovering that I'm all alone. That everyone I knew and cared for is gone." -Jaina in RD
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AngelofDarkness Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 9/1/04 12:58pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	I loved this post! There is too much to rave about, and others have already done more than I could say, lol, so I will comment on one thing that just amused me- Kyp vs. Zekk -----signature----- "I worry about Anakin. He has a talent for chaos." "One of the things I like about him." -Obi and Quinlan, Republic 70
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MerryWLukefan Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 9/1/04 1:16pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Cool, really cool. -----signature----- read me, seymour, read me Agonizing Nerfs by me and pariah sometimes god lets it rain
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Jedi_Jaina_Fel Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 9/1/04 8:42pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	No one could deny that Jaina Solo had spirit. LOL, and that spirit will lead to nothing but trouble for you, Kyppie dear... just a feeling I have -----signature----- "Pain drowns most people. I just swim in it."~Tahiri Veila in RS
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Grand Admiral Wettengel Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 9/1/04 8:47pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	If anything bad happens to the Kypster, he'll beat it. Especially if he ditches those pesky inhibitions and guilt he's been carrying atop his shoulders for years. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/18526131 -- Seed of Darkness -- NJO AU Updated 12/22/05 http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=20836886 -- Star Wars Destinies NJO AU - NO Vong, stupid living planets and stupidity in general
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jedi-solo-fel Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 9/2/04 1:46pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Awesome view of the funeral scene, JPS! Poor Jaina... she's just spiraling deeper and deeper into the dark, isn't she? Luckily for her, she'll at least have Kyp to keep her company, lol -----signature----- "None Shall Pass!"
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DarthJaina Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 9/2/04 6:35pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Just thought I would give this an UP as I'm scouring for good fics to read tonight -----signature----- "Do you want the short answer, or do you need someone to explain it to you with charts and diagrams?" -Jag and Jaina in DJ "You're a major now?" "I'm better than that, I'm a holovid star. Not to mention a goddess." -Jacen and Jaina in DW
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JediPrincess83 Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 9/3/04 2:29pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Such a sad, sad scene... keep up the great work, JPS! I am really loving this great story -----signature----- "I find your lack of faith disturbing..." Darth Vader in ANH "I'm a person, and my name is Anakin!" Anakin Skywalker in PM "I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life." Padme Amidala (Skywalker) in AotC
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Jaina-Solo-Fel Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 9/3/04 6:47pm Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	Wonderful work, as always, JPS I think you took that scene to new heights, and the best line of all was very deep and profound: It seemed to Kyp that Master Skywalker was speaking directly to Jaina, as if trying to reach her, but she was somewhere else entirely now, perhaps with the embers floating up towards the stars, perhaps somewhere he couldn't even begin to fathom, wherever her brothers were. -----signature----- "Great One, please exercise your godly powers and summon real food. We're orbiting six hundred kilometers above the greenest planet in the New Republic, and the mess can't seem to find any fresh vegetables."
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Trickster_Goddess Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 9/4/04 7:58am Subject: RE: Fallen from Grace (Post-SbS, AU dark side K/J); Updated 8/31
	I wish we'd seen all of this emotions in the book. You gave us beautiful insight into Jaina's unhealthy state of mind, Han and Leia's overwhelming pain, Tahiri's sense of being lost, and poor Luke's grief... very nicely done, I really got all sniffly reading it, lol. -----signature----- "I am a Jedi... like my father before me."
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