Jedi Council Forums - Aviri [A/T Challenge Response]

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Author	Topic: Aviri [A/T Challenge Response]
Elena Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 3/2/05 4:37pm Subject: Aviri [A/T Challenge Response]
	Thrawn challenged me to write something A/T, and after finishing up some math homework, I decided to do it. Wrote it in ten minutes, and am now going back to my chemistry work. Mommy calls this escapism... Wordcount: 376 words on letting go. ```````````````````````````` She is old, for a human. She is young, for a Tusken Raider. She is the last of the Yuuzhan Vong, and the first of the Tattooine Force users. But to Anakin, she is always just Tahiri. Every time he sees her, she is older, more weathered, the wind and the sand and the sun wearing her down to her apotheosis. He doesn’t even see her, not underneath the layers and layers of protective clothing the Sand People wear. He doesn’t know if her hair is still bright golden-blonde, if her nose still has freckles on it, if her eyes still laugh green. All he knows is that she feels like Tahiri, so she must be her. Tahiri? Tahiri? Look at me, Tahiri! Speak to me, Tahiri! Acknowledge me, Tahiri! He screams this to her, down the brittle and faded tie they shared. He does not understand why she doesn’t look at him, why she ignores him like she always does these days. He doesn’t understand why his best friend doesn’t seem to know he exists. But this time is different. This time she looks at him, really looks at him, and he feels a peculiar sense of elation. She hasn’t forgotten me! But then she takes her goggles off and begins to unwrap the layers of cloth from her head, and he finally sees her. It’s been…a very long time, hasn’t it, Tahiri. “It’s been about fifty years.” Even now, there is compassion in her voice, love, dimly muted grief. I love you. “I know, Anakin. But love isn’t enough, not when you’re dead.” She looks at him, white-haired and wrinkled, and her eyes, while still green, aren’t laughing. “I got married, Anakin. I have five grandchildren.” And with that, she looks inward. I moved on, Anakin. It’s time for you to move on as well. And she cuts that last tie, the last tie to life, to the living, to the ones he loves. The Tusken Raider wraps the strips of cloth around her head, putting on the goggles and adjusting the breathing gear. She walks back the small encampment a mile north, becoming just a dark dot on the horizon. Anakin Solo is dead. There is no need to dally here any longer. -----signature----- Pretty, practical, and the Ewok's Hand: Redheaded teenaged girls make the best assassins Always willing to do a side-job for Quiet_Mandalorian, though And Kreia...well, Kreia was a woman who tried to be a Jedi, then tried to be a Sith, and failed at both
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Thrawn McEwok Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '00	Date Posted: 3/2/05 5:06pm Subject: RE: Aviri [A/T Challenge Response] - Date Edited: 3/2/05 5:11pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Thrawn McEwok
	Elena: Um. Gosh. Wow. What to say. Well, my soul describe a sort of parabola while reading that, as the 'fic shaded from day to night, from light to darkness (and in a way that was beautifully unconnected to Jedi dualism)... That was beautiful. From the brilliance of a line like "the wind and the sand and the sun wearing her down to her apotheosis", through the curve of the twist (in the plot, and in the point of view) that is the spine of the 'fic, to the poignancy of "letting go" at the end (and it's the living letting go of the dead); from the innocence and optimism of Anakin's perceptions, even fifty years dead, to the practicality and experience of Tahiri's, even though she seems not to have changed at all, in her soul... The way that 'fic turned round on itself, the richness of what you packed into such a small frame - the sweep, I think might be the best word for the effect... And, did I detect just a hint at the end, that Tahiri will die that night, but doesn't know it yet...? Amazed - The Imperial Ewok -----signature----- A/T = OTP :===8[#]8===: Kyp/Jaina fans: stand up and be counted!
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YodaKenobi Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 3/2/05 10:32pm Subject: RE: Aviri [A/T Challenge Response]
	Beautiful, sad, and brief but very, very good, Elena. I will be adding this to the A/T index later, if that's alright with you -----signature----- Supersonic gone and took my soul The Lands of the Dead: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1 Blood Trail: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1 "They weren't very bright, even for Imperials."— Emala
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Elena Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 3/12/05 6:08pm Subject: RE: Aviri [A/T Challenge Response]
	Thrawn: Um. Gosh. Wow. What to say. Well, my soul describe a sort of parabola while reading that, as the 'fic shaded from day to night, from light to darkness (and in a way that was beautifully unconnected to Jedi dualism)... That was beautiful. blushes From the brilliance of a line like "the wind and the sand and the sun wearing her down to her apotheosis", through the curve of the twist (in the plot, and in the point of view) that is the spine of the 'fic, to the poignancy of "letting go" at the end (and it's the living letting go of the dead); from the innocence and optimism of Anakin's perceptions, even fifty years dead, to the practicality and experience of Tahiri's, even though she seems not to have changed at all, in her soul... The way that 'fic turned round on itself, the richness of what you packed into such a small frame - the sweep, I think might be the best word for the effect... Efficiency in writing, as in everything else... And, did I detect just a hint at the end, that Tahiri will die that night, but doesn't know it yet...? Amazed shrugs Well, she is very old for a human... YodaKenobi: Beautiful, sad, and brief but very, very good, Elena. I will be adding this to the A/T index later, if that's alright with you Why thanks - and no, I don't mind, go ahead! Elena -----signature----- Pretty, practical, and the Ewok's Hand: Redheaded teenaged girls make the best assassins Always willing to do a side-job for Quiet_Mandalorian, though And Kreia...well, Kreia was a woman who tried to be a Jedi, then tried to be a Sith, and failed at both
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/12/05 6:30pm Subject: RE: Aviri [A/T Challenge Response]
	Beautiful, Elena. Can we talk you into writing more A/T or is the fic, in a sense, your final word on the matter. One of the things I admire about your writing is the way you whittle things down to their essence - it's an element I notice in a lot of the poets I tend to enjoy, funnily enough, who are all whittlers rather than ranters, if you know what I mean. Paring it down to the bare bones so the images are crystal clear - that's a skill to envy. Great piece of work. Yoda We definitely want this one indexed. -----signature----- "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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